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Week 1: Evaluations - Discussion
Evaluating Elements (graded)
In Chapter 7 of Writing Today, you’ll find a student evaluation, Danielle Cordaro’s “How
We Ended Up in Louisville: An Evaluation of Spring Break Options” (pp. 104-106.)
Cordaro evaluates the pros and cons of three spring break options before finally deciding
on Louisville. What is her organizational pattern, and what details does she use to
support her arguments? Are her arguments effective? Why or why not?
Responses
Response
Author
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Details,
details!
Date/Time
0
Professor Harty
12/31/2011 5:53:42 PM
Class, in this thread this week, we're going to focus on two things: 1) the writing process -- specifically, how to
get from an idea to a polished essay; and 2) the elements of an effective evaluation. Let's start with our
readings in Writing Today and then branch out from there.
There's an old saying that "it's all in the details." How does Danielle Cordaro use details in her short essay on
spring break options in order to make her evaluation meaningful?
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Mendi Mbuan
1/7/2012 11:37:00 PM
The old saying; "its all in the details" can be seen here in cordaro's use of details in
her short essay on spring break options as it is this details that assist her in making a
good decision that fits her budget and her wants and also, her use of details don't only
give us the insight to how she came about her decision but how she got to that point
in life where she became responsible and had to act responsibly to be able to succeed.
This in effect explains the importance of details in Cordaro's evaluation of pros and
cons to make a cost effective decision.
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Nicole Whitsey
1/5/2012 4:10:55 PM
As an adult I totally understand the meaning of details. when I was a teen that
thought I knew it all I always had this mind set of " I owe no one an explanation " and
looking back I see how stupid it was to think that way and why my parents always had
a headache dealing with me! lol
In Danielle's short essay what makes it so meaningful is her way of writing in depth details. Not all the time will you have someone explain why they feel they should or
shouldn't visit a place. Most responses to the where people should and should not go
on vacation are "It's fun" or "We just don't want to visit there" , those two responses
you'd would come from a child and are not meaningful. Danielle painted a picture with
her details by letting the reader know her & her friends funds were limited and what
they were looking to do- get away from school and relax! ! I feel she guided the
reader the whole way through the story because she even went into detail as to how
much gas they wanted to use visiting certain places.
I like the details Danielle used because she let the reader know this is not just some
rich kid vacation. This is something her and her friends were doing on their own and
were being very responsible with their finances.
I feel it is a good thing when the author does not allow much room for the reader to
use their imagination- I like to be guided when reading sometimes because it allows
me to put myself in the authors shoes (if I have never been there before)
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Tamara Boyd
1/4/2012 11:09:46 PM
Danielle provided the audience with the opportunity to visualize the places
that she was thinking of visiting. She explained the need to find a cost
effective, fun vacation area, highlighting the pros and cons of each. She
engaged the reader by providing animated explanations of each place.
Danielle chose to write about a topic that most people find interesting.
When writing an evaluation the writer has to be able to determine what
interests the reader in order to grasp the reader's attention.
http://writing.colostate.edu/guides/processes/evaluate/com2e2.cfm
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Details, Angelique Marrero
details!
1/8/2012 2:13:01 PM
Tamara,
You made some good observations. It is true that tHe writer of any paper or
book needs the ability to draw readers in. Danielle's elaborate use of details
while discussing her vacation plans draws us in and makes us want to read
more.
"Attention to detail stands at the center of the best writing." (Scanlan,
2011.)
http://www.poynter.org/uncategorized/8825/the-power-of-detail/
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Omer Mennan Guler
1/5/2012 3:52:40 AM
Given that one has to operate within constraints of time and money and with many
different conditions and rules, having a structured framework or process for evaluating
a decision would be very useful in considering all options thoroughly and coming to the
right decision. Danielle has constraints on budget within which she has to plan her
spring break along with her friends. To understand what it would cost her from the
different options available, she puts down the variosu factors that influence cost at
every loctaion such as food, lodging, gas, and shopping that lead to a comparison
between the different locations, and to understand what it would cost her. Given this
initial analysis, she shortlists three locations and then uses subjective criteria and
advantages and disadvantages of the shortlisted options to make her selection. In my
opinion, this is a very good framework that she uses for shortlisting from multiple
choices, and then making a final selection.
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Tatrecha Wilson
1/4/2012 10:44:52 AM
Daniell provided details such as how much money was planned to be
spent on the vacation, the plans for the vacation; to party or to relax,
how they would get there, and options on where the vacation would be;
weighing pros and cons of what each vacation spot had to offer and then
provided a decision on where they would go.
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Brandon Hukill
1/1/2012 11:31:39 PM
Modified:1/1/2012 11:35 PM
Right off the bat Danielle uses lots of details to explain her situation and to have a
connection with her targeted audience. With Danielle explaining her financial situation
which is leading cause of limited spring break location for her and her four friends in
the same seat. She uses details to involve the audience by talking through her thought
process by using her budget as the guidelines for location. With these guidelines she
follows expenses for; food, lodging, gas, and shopping. Danielle comes up with three
different location South Haven, Chicago, and Louisville. After talking out the pro’s and
con’s of all the different locations she uses details on all the locations to feature each
place like a salesman.
It is all about the details and this short reading has definitely helped me to organize
my restaurant evaluation outline. By reading this short essay I will try and place my
readers in the restaurant and have them choose if they want to share the experience
of eating out at that specific location.
Paine, Richard Johnson-Sheehan and Charles. Writing Today (VitalSource Bookshelf), Retrieved
from http://online.vitalsource.com/books/9781256083993/id/ch07box04
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Details, Professor Harty
details!
1/2/2012 3:37:13 PM
Brandon, you are right in that Cordaro's essay serves as an excellent model
for this week's evaluation. She set out her criteria and measured the choices
against each criterion. It is a very well-organized and clear piece of writing.
In this review, you won't have to do three separate establishments, though - just one!
It's a great goal to try to "place your readers" in the restaurant. What kind of
details would be helpful in doing so?
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Details, Brandon Hukill
details!
1/3/2012 5:23:15 PM
After reading Cordaro’s essay I took her example and created a
outline for me in and how I want to present my evaluation. When it
came to describing the restaurant of my choice I used descriptive
details in order to make the audience imagine the location. I
described the location on the beach and the view you can see and
how they don’t have a seat that cant see the ocean. I explained the
type of setting, lighting, music everything that makes the
atmosphere of the restaurant. I still need to add a lot to the essay
in order to achieve my final goal but I think I have a nice rough
draft to work off of.
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Details, Fatima De Gouveia
details!
1/4/2012 7:51:58 PM
On the readers perspective the more descriptive and
emotion that is set in the writing the easier it will be for
readers to not only read and understand but become a
part of what they are reading. I enjoy reading something
that actually brings me into the topic and text. If the
writer doesn't involve its targeted readers then the article
or text did not fulfill its purpose. When the writer writes
the one of the first things that is considered is the target
audience, who will be reading? and what do they already
know? and don't know?
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Details, Professor Harty
details!
1/3/2012 7:04:54 PM
Brandon, great idea to get started early on this
assignment. Class, I can't emphasize enough what a
difference it will make if you start drafting early in the
week.
While the Cordaro essay is one helpful model, I also
encourage everyone to review the essay about the MiniCooper. In many ways, this is almost a better model for
the type of assignment you are writing this week.
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Details, Stephen Lance
details!
1/3/2012 8:58:20 PM
In my essay and in following with Cordaro's essay, I am including
why certain aspects are important to me. What I look for in a
restaurant and why. I am expanding those to illustrate how the
restaurant I chose did or did not meet the aspect or criteria that I
set out to look for in the restaurant. She does a great job of
walking you through the process logically and stepping you further
into the detail and the situation so you become a part of the
decision making process and even taking the trip to be satisfied
with the choice as well. I think that goes a long way in capturing
the audience and will help in sharing the evaluation of the
restaurant.
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Details, Professor Harty
details!
1/4/2012 11:23:43 AM
Modified:1/4/2012 11:26 AM
Stephen, that's a great approach to this assignment. I've
also suggested students prepare for their restaurant
evaluation by writing down the criteria ahead of time, and
taking notes at the restaurant! Having a piece of paper
divided into three categories for the criteria, then with
pros and cons for each side, is a great way to be
comprehensive. (And, it may get you great service if the
waitstaff think you're doing a review for your local paper!)
Of course, this can also be done from memory if you're
not up for a night out.
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Details, Fatima De Gouveia
details!
1/8/2012 2:11:41 PM
I wrote about a unique restaurant that I have
being to and remembered everything from it
becasue I just went there 3 weeks ago. Its the
Joey's Crab Shack located in San Francisco. This
assignment was pretty straight forward just like
the lecture First Paragraph introducing thesis
and mentioning 3 criterias, Second Paragraph
talking about criteria 1, Third Paragraph talking
about criteria 2, Fourth Paragraph talking about
criteria 3. The examples we read really helped
me be little more descriptive and trying to
engage the reader in restaurant evaluation
paper.
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Details, Adrian Down
details!
1/4/2012 11:56:58 PM
The use of short concise descriptive passages that evoke great
visuals can greatly help you sell something to the reader or person
listening. I remember going to Hawaii on a business trip. We had a
day to look around to went to the North shore on ohau. We visited
a park that offered ATV tours or a waterfall. The group of guys I
went with were absolutely set on going to the water fall and
avoiding the ATVs. I stopped them and said " picture this, you are
in your local bar. You have an ice cold beer in your hand. You are
surrounded by your buddies. You tell them about screaming
through the undergrowth in what looks just like Jurassic park with
the wind in your face and the dirt flying all around and at any
moment you expect a velociraptor to come jumping out at you
from behind the next bush, or you could tell them you went to a
waterfall."
We went on the ATVs and had a blast. My point is they needed and
the reader also needs some thing that enables them to be there
and share in the moment. The Pros and cons that Corado uses are
short, but sum up the key elements of the trip enabling the reader
or her to clearly visualize the trip that could be.
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Details, Professor Harty
details!
1/6/2012 1:25:05 PM
Excellent use of persuasive rhetoric, Adrian!
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Details, Leland Flynn
details!
1/6/2012 2:56:35 AM
As a tool to engage an audience with a review, placing them with
the product in question is a great idea. It can help to keep them
interested and help them understand your points more clearly. For
something like a setting, our restaraunt for example, I think that
it's important to paint a vivid picture of where they are. What do
they see, hear or, smell? How does the atmosphere feel? Is it
ritualistic and traditional or casual and relaxed? Since this is an
evaluation or review being vague is not the best choice, you don't
want to stifle the audiences imagination but, you really don't want
to leave so many gaps in description that they have a wholly
disparate mental experience from the one that you are trying to
impart on them. They are reading an evaluation or review to to get
your opinion; your experience. If they want to have that experience
for themselves then they should do so.
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Details, Professor Harty
details!
1/6/2012 1:26:45 PM
Exactly right, Leland: good description is sensory, and a
restaurant evaluation will certainly want to bring in the
senses. I remember one student commenting on the
greasy smell that assaulted her and her companion as
soon as they entered a restaurant. (Yet the food itself
was delicious!)
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Details, Juanita Churchwell
details!
1/6/2012 2:06:13 PM
I think describing the location is a start. Is it in town? Perhaps out
of town? Describing the decor. Color of walls, art? painting? Type of
flooring? For instance, if it were a italian restraunt, they may have
tuscany decor. A french restraunt would have french decor (like as
if you were in Paros). You could describe the staff. These are a few
things I think could be described in detail to help the reader
understand.
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Details, Raymond Evans
details!
1/3/2012 4:03:59 PM
i would have to agree with you on this brandon the details are excellent in
this piece.
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Jyana King
1/2/2012 12:16:54 PM
Modified:1/2/2012 12:17 PM
In this evaluation a wide range of details are used to make sure the reader
understands the spring break dilemma. I really liked the humor that was added when
explaining the choice of Louisville, KY (I've been before and was bored to no end).
Danielle Cordaro did a wonderful job researching the various places that she could visit
and have a good time with friends yet stay within their tight budget.
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Details, Professor Harty
details!
1/2/2012 3:39:44 PM
I agree with you, Jyana -- each time I read this essay, I am more firmly
convinced that Chicago is the place for me; I would appreciate the variety of
activities there. That's why this is an effective review. Her choice meets her
criteria, but not mine, and I can know that from the details she presents
here.
Does the background she has provided to explain her criteria help put the
choice in context as well?
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Details, Adrian Down
details!
1/6/2012 11:48:24 PM
Certainly she makes it quite clear what the basis is for her decision
criteria at the beginning of the passage. A you mention this may
not be the same as the reader, but it is clear why she chose what
she chose, though it would also not be my first pick from her
potential picks. The way she frames the requirements that her
group have make it very clear what is important and helps the
reader understand her choice.
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Details, Juanita Churchwell
details!
1/4/2012 3:33:12 PM
I think the background provided definately helped to explain her
criteria and her choice. We know upfront EXACTLY the funds she
has to spend for 5 days and 6 nights. We know that is what she
has for loding, food, gas and activities! Therefore, when you read
her pro's and con's of Chicago, you can almost know that it would
not be a good choice for them. She states that lodging is
expensive, the restraunts are expensive, etc. I think she did a good
job and saying up front that they are NOT going on her parents
dime as many other of their friends are.
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Details, Jyana King
details!
1/3/2012 6:14:40 PM
I must say that the background information to me does help put
her choice in context. Although I must agree with you for
excitement I would have chosen Chicago :) expense wise that
made the perfect choice.
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John Eric Scott
1/4/2012 10:00:56 AM
I am familiar with that saying, in fact, I repeat it to my supervisors daily. Its amazing
how often you find the solution to a problem is a minor detail that was overlooked.
The hard part is not letting the details obstruct the point of the paper. Sometimes, I
add too much detail and it might lead the reader down the wrong path. I am
challenged with identifying the point at which there is sufficient detail to effectively
convey my point and having too much detail. I have a background in writing repair
manuals for electronics devices and Standard Operating Procedures for departments
within my company, so I usually focus a lot on the details.
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Jason Reed
1/3/2012 8:16:52 PM
When it comes to her organization she managed to put everything from which would
cost the most to the one which would be the least costly. She went into details based
on the cost of food, parking, down to the cost of places to stay and were they would
travel to. For herself and some of her friends she was pretty effective, though in a
personal aspect I would probably have taken more time to plan and get everyone's
idea's with places to go when we get there.
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Details, Ruby Thompson
details!
1/4/2012 10:34:07 PM
Well Jason since they
were already on a
budget, I think waiting
to get to a vacationing
place, then deciding on
where to go would
cause some conflict. In
my opinion her plan was
very effective
understanding what
their budgeted income
was like.
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Details, Nicole Whitsey
details!
1/4/2012 11:58:11 AM
Hi Jason,
Yes the way she managed to get the details of the food , parking and cost of
the places to travel was great. Without these details I believe the story
would have been really bland. I believe the details make up so much of any
story! To me details allow me to use my imagination to better help me to
understand the story being told. Even the smallest details make such a huge
difference because it adds just that much more to any story or situation. I'm
always asking my children "what happened in the beginning, middle and end
of a story" when we read at night. I do this to help them be better at
explaining details , instead of drawing a blank saying those famous words of
most kids " I don't know" lol
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Details, Jason Reed
details!
1/5/2012 5:04:05 PM
Indeed it does tend to help when you use your imagination to come
to a conclusion about something, though it is always harder when
you have a group of people whom have different feelings and idea's
about things. She was very effective at what she though was best
for everyone, but an old saying I heard my grandmother said "what
you feel is best, might not be best for everyone else" which tends
to be true. Though the details on the situation were good, they
could always be improved upon with time and a better idea could
come to.
As for your story reading "thing" (the word eludes me right now) it
sounds pretty effective and I will have to try that with my kids as
well, sounds like a great thing to do.
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Vacation
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Jay Saddler
1/2/2012 1:11:22 PM
In a search for the perfect summer destination for Danielle and her five friends, Danielle had
laid out several important criteria in order to make it a perfect fit. First and foremost is money.
They're poor college students so keeping things on the cheaper end of the spectrum is a must.
Included in the cost is the distance to and from the location, food, shopping, lodging, etc.
Second, there has to be lots to do. While she claimed her and her friends didn't want to party
the whole time, they still wanted to go out a few times. They were also looking for a place that
had other options like hiking and outdoor activities available to them. Finally, location played a
key part in her decision. She didn't want to go somewhere everyone else had already been. She
took the time to lay out all of her ideas and thoughts and weighed the pros and cons of each
destination. Then based on that information she had compiled, she made the best possible
decision for all parties involved. Her arguments were very effective in her decision making
process. They were what shaped her decision and as a result they were able to go on vacation
and have a great time together.
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Professor Harty
1/2/2012 3:42:22 PM
This is a very detailed summary, Jay, and thanks for pointing out this is a
comparison/contrast essay in part. When we use the pros and cons of any decision, it
helps us see our way to a clearer (and hopefully the best) solution.
Class, has anyone had to take on a decision such as this one in the recent past? And
can you see how writing it out in this way might help clarify the issue?
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Vacation Jay Saddler
1/4/2012 9:11:18 AM
Whenever I make an important decision like traveling, especially one that
involves other people, I usually weigh the pros and cons of the decision. I
plan out each possible scenario in my head and try to visualize it to see how
it may turn out. If there's too much information or too many people talking I
will start by writing the information down in some sort of organized chart.
It's a great way to look at every possible angle of the situation. This helps
you and the other people involved make the best decision possible.
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Vacation John Eric Scott
1/4/2012 10:05:39 AM
Lists are a great way to organize your thoughts and make a decision, Pros on
one side and Cons on the other. My wife hates my lists because she is more
compulsive and I am more analytical. But for me, lists are a great tool that
when used properly, can make the decision making process more simple. It
helps remove emotion, leaving you with the facts of the issue to be decided.
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RE:
Vacation Professor Harty
1/4/2012 7:55:28 PM
Dustin, Tatrecha, Ed, Jay & Eric -- great examples! We're taking a
model from a textbook and seeing how neatly it applies to realworld applications! This should be the basic pattern for how we look
at all our work in this class.
We have seen from our reading that Cordaro's evaluation is
effective in part because of her clear establishment of her criteria.
She weighed them objectively and provided adequate and salient
details to make this all come together. She seemed to start out
with an open mind in conducting her evaluation, and made a
decision based on a set of criteria. The arguments for each location
were considered solely on merit.
When we read an editorial in a newspaper, we see an example of a
piece of rhetoric where the writer has arranged the details to
support his or her point. The bias is usually established right from
the start. That's because the purpose of this type of writing is to
sway the reader. The purpose of Cordero's essay, however, is to
examine evidence to come up with a conclusion, in this case, a
decision. When we write anything, we want to keep in mind topic,
purpose, and audience.
For example, if I were to evaluate an insurance provider based on a
set of criteria, I might select: 1). price 2). Industry reputation 3).
Quality of the products offered. I could imagine setting up a column
in which I tallied up which companies met my standards and which
did not. In writing my evaluation, I'd want to make sure I was
thinking about what most people really care about when they want
to buy good insurance. Very few people would say, "it doesn't
matter what it costs!"
Class, what other examples do we have for this particular type of
evaluation?
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RE:
Vacation John Eric Scott
1/8/2012 11:12:47 AM
Another reason for an evaluation is relocating for a new
job. You have to compile the salary the cost of living, the
standard of living, the housing, schools, the job
requirements, and much more. This is something I am
currently looking to make a decision on. I have already
turned down jobs that would require relocating to
Pennsylvania, California, and Nevada. Now my wife and I
are looking at North Carolina as a possibility. We have
met with a realtor when we visited the area and we
started making a list of pros and cons.
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RE:
Vacation Jay Saddler
1/5/2012 8:41:51 AM
The first thing my mind jumps to is cars... Sorry I'm still a
boy. Anyway back on topic. 1) Price 2) Reliability 3)
Physical appeal and overall feel while driving. You would
start by making a list of different makes and models of
cars based on your criteria. Once you have a suitable list,
go out for a test drive. Keep al list of the pros and cons
during your test drive and refer to it if necessary. If you
like it more than the rest and it's in your price range, buy
it. If not move on to the next one on the list.
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RE:
Vacation John Eric Scott
1/7/2012 10:08:51
PM
Buying houses or property comes to my mind.
You have to evaluate desirability on the market,
price, neighborhood, schools, taxes, cost of
living in the area, and the reputation of the
community. A list to help organize pros and
cons helps tremendously. Several years ago
people did not evaluate these conditions very
well and thats why the market is flooded right
now. They bought more house than they could
afford, the interest rates rose and then they
could not make the payments.
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RE:
Vacation Mendi Mbuan
1/8/2012 7:19:52 PM
Other examples to this particular type of evaluation would
be like evaluating where to do a cost effective shopping.
Here you will be looking at criteria like; 1)
Location/accessibility 2) Prices of goods 3) Availability of
what you would want to purchase.
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RE:
Vacation Dustin Hunt
1/4/2012 4:56:34 PM
Yes... moving for a job... because sometimes even when you evaluate things
and the evaluation points you to what seems like a good thing, it is good to
review and re-review the evaluation. I wish I had.. but you live and learn I
guess...
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RE:
Vacation Tatrecha Wilson
1/4/2012 11:20:01 AM
I have to make this decision every year when it's time to take the
kids on vacation. I can see how writing it out would help me
clarify where to go and I'm sure it would appeal to my girls to
see it in writing and help them make a more timely decision on
where we should take our vacation. It's usually a rushed process
on my part and I've NEVER even thought about putting it on
paper. Doing this may even help me save money because I
always go over my planned vacation budget.
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RE:
Vacation Ed Sharp
1/4/2012 7:39:47 PM
I haven't had to for a vacation but I did to decide which job I should go to
next. Being an Union Ironworker the last 11 years I have had to travel the
country for work. When I was younger I went where the pay was the best
and now I look to see who has the best benefits. The older I get the more I
think about my retirement, when I was younger it you paid the most hourly.
Same concept different topic. It does help to sit down and weigh the pro's
and con's on just about any subject.
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RE:
Vacation Adrian Down
1/7/2012 1:51:21 PM
I carried out a similar activity when purchasing a house. We did not know
exactly where we should buy but stripped it down to our main criteria and
provided pros and cons for several potentially suitable locations around the
area to select the most suitable area for us to search in. When we picked
houses we went back to our original definition of what we wanted. It is easy
to loose site of your initial goals when you start doing any activity like this
and getting carried away. This can certainly lead to missing out some key
requirements a, which could lead to being dissatisfied in the final selection..
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RE:
Vacation Juanita Churchwell
1/6/2012 2:10:59 PM
We have several families who travel to different locations together many
times during the summer. In the past, we have always just taken turns
choosing where we were going. I can definately see where this would be an
easier option. Writing down several options and weighing the pros and cons
could turn out to be a much better trip for everyone involved. Everyone
usually knows how much money they will have to spend and how much time
they have to take off. If we had all this information then we could determine
what location would work best for EVERYONE involved. In the past with the
taking turns way, someone usually coudn't go or didn't have the money to
go that distance, etc.
260067881,26079 259952755
Choosing an
Affordable
Vacation
0
Ed Sharp
1/2/2012 1:25:12 PM
Danielle described how her and her friends had very little money so needed to find a vacation
spot which they could all afford and how they all weren't looking for a party place. They chose
three places they could reach on one tank of gas and discussed the pro's and con's of each and
described all three in full detail.
260797150
260067881
RE:
Choosing
an
Affordable
Vacation
259952755
Nicole Whitsey
1/2/2012 8:17:21 PM
Hi Ed,
I have to say that the way Danielle went about the vacation planning was very smart.
I can sure take some vacation planning tips from them lol ! I have to say I have put
budgets in place months before vacation but always somehow find myself not sticking
to them once we get where we're going.
How about you?
260797150
260067881
RE:
Choosing
an
Jyana King
Affordable
Vacation
1/4/2012 5:41:20 PM
I must agree that me + budgets+vacations=disaster. The one time I created
a budget i blew it big time. This reading can teach many of us a valuable
lesson in budget planning. It did for me!
261835453,26147 260403440
Evaluation
vs. Review
0
Professor Harty
1/3/2012 7:17:51 PM
Class, one of the things you'll notice in this class is that the writing assignments are very much
geared to the type of workplace writing we are called upon to do. If you've ever been in a
position where you have had to make a decision, and explain it to others, you may have had to
evaluate a number of choices to make a recommendation to your boss. Approaching this
week's assignment--the evaluation--in this way should help! (Hint: Use the assignment checklist
in doc sharing for this and all assignments!)
The very beginning of Chapter 7 offers this helpful distinction between a REVIEW and an
EVALUATION:
"In a review, a writer expresses his or her opinion, which is based on common expectations
about what makes something appealing or effective. In an evaluation, the writer uses a specific
set of criteria to determine the quality and effectiveness of a product, service, or
person. In consumer magazines, like Consumer Reports, evaluations are used to assess the
quality of products like cars, televisions, and mobile phones. In the workplace, personnel
evaluations are used to determine how well an employee is doing his or her job.
The main difference between writing a review of something and writing an evaluation is simple.
An evaluation uses a set of clearly defined criteria to objectively measure the quality of the
subject. A review relies on the unstated 'common expectations' which are shared between the
writer and reader, to support an opinion" (Johnson-Sheehan & Paine, 2010, p. 102).
Class, do you think Cordaro supported her choices well and explained her criteria clearly? If you
want to bring up other examples from this chapter, please do so!
261835453
260403440
RE:
Evaluation
vs. Review
Ed Sharp
1/6/2012 7:40:01 PM
Still learning the different styles of writing I think she explained her criteria well. Ask
me the same question seven weeks from now and I will be able to give you a definite
answer. Still think I would of gone to New Haven.
262223643,26274 261472496
260403440
RE:
Evaluation
vs. Review
Stephen Lance
1/5/2012 9:52:49 PM
As an engineering manager my team is responsible for selecting equipment that we
use to support the services we offer Asa telecommunications company. In many cases
we discuss equipment after it has been installed and being used per its intended
purpose. This is a review. By providing my opinion of an item from my perspective. In
contrast we are often in a situation where we do not feel that a piece of equipment is
the right solution for us. The steps we usually take are to directly compare the piece of
equipment and another suggested piece of equipment to a given set of requirements.
These requirements are the same as criteria. The criteria allows us to provide an
unbiased comparison of the equipment to the requirements. This is an evaluation.
262740586
262223643
261472496
RE:
Evaluation
Professor Harty
vs.
Review
1/7/2012 6:23:57 PM
Great example from the workplace, Stephen! Evaluations that are unbiased
and thorough lead to better business decisions.
262740586
262223643
RE:
Evaluation
Mendi Mbuan
vs.
Review
1/8/2012 7:35:57 PM
Thats right professor it leads to a better decision making, great
post stephen. I think Codaro supported her choices well and
explained her criteria clearly which lead her to the decision she
made which I think fits her budget and desire.
262133145
RE:
Evaluation
vs. Review
260403440
Adrian Down
1/7/2012 3:03:33 PM
I think what is clear the she defines what are her criteria and then takes a purely
objective look at the options as they present themselves. The lack of bias in the
evaluation of all options is important. Each should be balanced and be weighed out by
their own pros and cons. This enables both the user and the writer to select the best
option based on the facts.
262387006
RE:
Evaluation
vs. Review
260403440
Tatrecha Wilson
1/7/2012 11:42:04 PM
I think Cordaro explained her criteria very clearly. She presented facts
about each vacation spot considered such as how long it would take to
get to each destination and kept the evaluation interesting and
humorous. She also presented pros and cons of each option and did her
homework on the cost of simple things such as parking and eating.
262227799,26270 261911982
RE:
Evaluation
vs. Review
260403440
Austin Dyer
1/6/2012 10:30:18 PM
Evaluation is when someone reads something and goes through and evaluates the
paper telling someone what needs to be improved on their paper. Review is when
someone reviews a paper but the corrections are already done and they are just
reading over it. The difference between the two are one is making corrections and one
is reviewing the corrections for the final draft.
262703979
262227799
261911982
RE:
Evaluation
Professor Harty
vs.
Review
1/7/2012 6:31:36 PM
Class, it really is helpful to keep in mind this distinction: a review says "this
is good" or "this is bad." I can tell you that the movie Due Date, which I just
saw on cable is insipid, childish, and not at all entertaining. In contrast, the
movie Tinker, Tailor, Solider, Spy, which I paid $10 to go see, was brilliant,
well-acted, intelligent, and suspenseful. Big use of adjectives here!
An evaluation tells you something entirely different. If I were to try to decide
between hiring a cleaning company for my home or continuing to do it
myself, I would consider these criteria: 1) how much time would I save? 2)
would the job be better done? 3) and would I ultimately save money if I
hired the Merry Maids to take over all this housecleaning I don't really like?
(Sadly, the evaluation leads to the best scenario: do it myself.) I don't need
adjectives, but I need DETAILS. It costs $300 a month to hire this company.
I'm still free, and I can conscript teen-age labor, even though it is unwilling.
Remember you don't have to say "good" or "bad" at the end of your
evaluation. Just make sure your reader knows what he or she might want to
do based on your facts.
262703979
262227799
RE:
Evaluation
Austin Dyer
vs.
Review
1/8/2012 6:44:32 PM
I understand what you are saying about the evaluation of cleaning
your home or having it done by a maid. The evalution of doing it
your self would probably be the best one because you have time to
do it yourself making it simply easier to be satisfied because you
get to finish and do everyhting yourself. The review is different
from evaluation because you don't see the work in progess until
everything is done.
260982990,26128 260433204
Elements
0
Katelyn Howard
1/3/2012 8:08:55 PM
The paper was well written. She described all the places and budget they had to stick to. She
looked at all the pro and cons to the places. She did her research on all the different places to
find out what would be the best and would fit there budget the most. I feel her arguments were
very good because she did the research and found out the proof to what need to be done. She
many sure of the cost and nightlife. Also found out about different activities to do during the
day.
261284660
260982990
RE:
Elements
260433204
Ruby Thompson
1/4/2012 10:44:52 PM
I agree with Katelyn 100%
on this topic. If Danielle
had not taken the time to
do all the research and
applying this thought
process in making a
decision. I think they
probably would have ended
up not going anywhere and
being the "Miserable in
Michigan" group of young
college students.
261284660
260982990
RE:
Elements Katelyn Howard
1/5/2012 5:11:18 PM
It made my consider going to the different places to try them out because
she had the research well written.
260729650
Evaluating
Elements
0
Juanita Churchwell
1/4/2012 3:19:21 PM
In Danielle Cordaro's "How We Ended Up in Louisville: An Evaluation of Spring Break Options"
Cordaro's organizational pattern is one of where she sets her criteria for what they want out of a
location for their trip such as going somewhere that has a mix of activities as well as time to
relax. They also wanted lodging and food that would be inexpensive. And gas to get to their
destination and back needed to be reasonable. Second she describes each criteria using pro's
and con's of each criteria. Cordaro uses details like the description of the lodging (luxuries cabin
with a hot tub outside and jacuzzi tub inside) to get her point across of exactly what type of
lodging they would have for the money they were spending. I felt she had a good grasp on her
audience (college students going on spring break). Many college student would understand her
dilema and know what it is like to plan a trip on a minimal budget. She also was good at
explaining her reasoning for each location. For instance, Chicago, although it may be a
"happening" place, it was the more expensive option. South Haven was closer and had luxurious
lodging, but they would have less to do. I enjoyed her humor in regards to Louisville. It isn't
very poplular to be going to grandma's house for spring break! LOL However, it lightened the
mood of the evaluation and got her point across. I felt she set her evaluation up nicely and it
was entertaining to read. I felt her arguements were effective.
260986986
260908176
Evaluating
Elements
0
Mendi Mbuan
1/4/2012 8:28:44 PM
In Danielle's organizational pattern we see how she was never
interested in making findings to weigh the pros and cons of her
choices when she was still relying on her parent. And this was
because she just needed to select from her popular places of choice
on her parents dime, but now that responsibility is shifting to her
and she is feeling the difficulties in earning money, her view has
changed. Here, she makes use of two major elements being used;
cost and quality of services in terms of leisure and comfort. In her
detail analysis of cost she examines issues such as the distance and
the cost of fuel and parking, the cost of accommodation, the cost of
feeding, and the cost of any entertainment that may be available,.
In analyzing the quality of the services, she examined details such
as the convenience in the mode of transportation, the hotel
facilities, the quality of food and the type of entertainment and
recreational activities within each city.
To a certain extend her analysis of the cities of south Haven,
Michigan and Chicago were very factual because they had practical
knowledge of the areas but the conclusion they drew concerning
louisville seams to be based on theoretical knowledge probably
gathered from tourist guide books since all of them are going there
for their first time. Their reliance on this information which have not
been verified some times can lead to unexpected surprises like
differences in cost which may put them in very embarrassing
situation. Louisville had the added advantage in that it was a new
area they were exploring and if the cost turn out to be more they
can shorten their stay.
References:
Writing Today. Danielle Cordaro; "How We Ended Up in Louisville":
An Evaluation of Spring Break Option.
260986986
RE:
Evaluating
Elements
260908176
Ruby Thompson
1/4/2012 10:55:27 PM
That was a great observation
and point made Mendi. She
always had a enjoyable fun
time on her parents dime
(expense). But when she
became her own income
source she quickly realized
the need to rationalize all her
means.
260973333
Evaluation
0
Ruby Thompson
1/4/2012 10:21:14 PM
Danielle had a very effective plan of how
to choose a Spring Break destination.
She added together all the funds
available, counted the amount of
persons to go, and divided the cost per
person evenly. This was decided from a
choice of three destinations and the pros
and cons weighed out from all three.
Once this was figured out, she put
together the features that were most
entertaining and beneficial for their
budget. The pros and cons of the three
choices supports her final designated
Spring Break place to be Louisville. By
Danielle organizing and assessing her
choices the final decision expressed
great initiative on her behalf.
261227770,26242 260981174
Evaluating
Elements
0
Angelique Marrero
1/4/2012 10:40:11 PM
By using descriptive details when writing the audience is drawn into the book. Danielle uses
details to describe every aspect of choosing a spring break vacation location. She weighs the
pros and cons of each location. She describes in detail her budget for lodging, gas and food.
Danielle descriptive details allow us to envision her experience in choosing her spring break
destination.
262426829,26220 261227770
RE:
Evaluating
Elements
260981174
Professor Harty
1/5/2012 3:11:50 PM
Class, it seems you were all impressed with Cordaro's essay. I think you're all saying
basically the same thing: her very clear criteria -- from which she never wavers -make this a logical discussion, and an effective evaluation. Are there ideas you are
picking up here to apply to your essay this week? What criteria might you apply to
evaluating a restaurant? It could vary from a quiet atmosphere to a great dessert
menu!
As for me, I'd be looking at healthy options among the criteria. An important choice
for me that I would set out right from the start would be the availability of a glutenfree menu. Being close isn't important; I'll drive for a good place. I don't want my
restaurant overpriced, but I'm looking for something special. This is kind of vague so
far, isn't it? I can see I'd need to do a little brainstorming to narrow this down to three
or four very solid and measurable criteria.
262426829
261227770
RE:
Evaluating Juanita Churchwell
Elements
1/8/2012 7:33:03 AM
I can see by reading others criteria that people have different necessities
when it comes to restraunts. Location is important to me as I live
approximately 20 miles from town and prefer to not drive to much further for
dinner. But that doesn't mean I would I would not drive further if the closest
restraunt did not meet my other critieria. That other criteria would mean
cleanliness, good service, good food, all at a good price. Although I do take
into consideration healthy food options, that one fact would not deter me
from a restraunt. I find that we tend to frequent the restraunts of our
favorite foods. If our favorite foods our that of the healthy nature then
healthy foods will most likely be on the menu of the restraunts we go to.
262205973
261227770
RE:
Evaluating Brandon Hukill
Elements
1/7/2012 5:48:52 PM
When traveling to San Diego, California you do want to expect the best because you are in
a vacation spot. So when looking for a relaxing night out for sushi, there are hundreds of
locations to choose from. To choose a place to eat while on a budget is a hard task at hand
when you are trying locations that are unfamiliar and expensive. To select that unknown
place many factors and criteria come into play to make sure that you will leave satisfied and
not discouraged. The location of the restaurant needs to be convenient and in a nice part of
town with an atmosphere that fits the mood and pace of the night. It has to adhere to the
standards of friendly service and most importantly needs be great food for great prices with
just right portions. Always need a nice quite atmosphere with your own personal space to
set the mood of the night.
261449171
261227770
RE:
Evaluating Dustin Hunt
Elements
Modified:1/5/2012 9:17 PM
1/5/2012 9:14:39 PM
Criteria could be hospitality, service, presentation, healthy section of the
menu, healthy options for desserts and drinks. I try to work my "dessert"
into my meal by choosing sweet potatoes or apples as a side... I also
remember when I was a child how good service was in the restaurants... as
an old saying goes... "all good things must come to an end" so nowadays
you have servers that seem to like to gather and socialize than watch the
floor to give good service. this also fits department stores too. oh well sorry
for rambling.
261283699
261227770
RE:
Evaluating Katelyn Howard
Elements
1/5/2012 5:09:27 PM
I agree with what you are saying in the whole healthy menu, I also look to
see if they have a good drink menu! I also always look at the dessert menu
but never have any room for dessert when it comes time to eat it. I have a
bigger mind then stomach when it comes to eating out.
262797127
261227770
RE:
Evaluating Tamara Boyd
Elements
1/8/2012 8:55:07 PM
My criteria for a restaurant would be quiet, low key environment, great drink
and seafood menu and a short wait time to be seated. I will travel for good
dining.
261521561
RE:
Writing
Today
0
Fatima De Gouveia
1/5/2012 11:59:43 PM
Modified:1/6/2012 12:02 AM
Danielle did a good job writting How We Ended Up in Louisville, I think that she described very
well each of the choices they had and what the places offered then to do with since she is a
college student working partime she does have some restrictions. The book mentions on what
an evaluation typically has the following features:
• An introduction that identifies the subject being evaluated.
• A set of defined criteria that can be used to measure the quality or
effectiveness of the subject.
• A description of the subject.
• A criterion-by-criterion discussion of the subject.
• A conclusion that offers an overall assessment of the subject.
261700128,26186 261570683
Detailed
Support
vs. Vague
Support
0
Professor Harty
1/6/2012 7:52:09 AM
Class, let's turn our attention from spring break (it IS a long way away after all!) and focus on
some of the good information in this week's lecture. Here you will see a good review of the
basics of writing an essay (some of you may need this if you've been away from writing for a
while), as well as a detailed explanation of how to go about this week's writing assignment. Pay
heed, especially, to this information:
"Your aim at all times is to appear unbiased; objectivity is the “name of the
game” here. Choose just three standards that you will use to judge the
effectiveness or quality of the restaurant.
Next, review your notes or research, and pick out details to describe your
subject using a balanced approach. That is, provide information that is
positive and negative. Using this approach, bias will be minimized and fairness in
judgment will come across to the reader. Even though her last spring break
option, Louisville, became her final choice, Danielle Cordaro still had a short
section on the drawbacks of choosing this city, beneath the long section on its
strengths."
I think one of the most helpful aspects of this week's lecture is the chart that illustrates the difference
between vague and detailed support. You'll get good details through careful observation. Vague details will
convince no one that your evaluation is reliable!
For example, here's vague: "The decor was really pleasant. The food was good. The prices were high."
Now, detail: "The restaurant has garish gold curtains, antiques everywhere, crystal chandeliers, and mauve
walls; it is so lavishly decorated, I felt that I was in a French palace. The food was equally sumptuous: rich,
creamy, and overindulgent. And the prices matched the decor and food as over-the-top: We paid $25 for a
cheese and fruit plate as a starter!"
Can you see the difference between these two approaches?
261700128
RE:
Detailed
Support
vs.
Vague
Support
261570683
Juanita Churchwell
1/6/2012 1:59:57 PM
I can see the difference in the detail. One you seem to be just stating things. The
other you are describing the decor, the food and the giving an example of the price.
How do you know when you have used too much description?? I believe the key is to
give enough for your reader to invision what you are talking about but not so much
that they get lost in the wording.
261866554
RE:
Detailed
Support
vs.
Vague
Support
261570683
Omer Mennan Guler
1/6/2012 8:44:30 PM
The second approach which has very good detail, and has selected the correct words
to describe the French restaurant almost makes it feel as we are experiencing it first
hand, takes the reader to place and makes it very interesting to reach. I think having
a good vocabulary that has good the right set of words, and which would help us go
into detail that is necessary to make for an engaging and convincing piece of writing.
The first approach uses a very generic and simple explanation, which due to its lack of
detail makes it boring to read and does not interest the reader.
261885611
RE:
Detailed
Support
vs.
Vague
Support
261570683
Ruby Thompson
1/6/2012 9:25:14 PM
I see the difference between
them and thank you. I have a
very good clear visualization
as the reader. As I read the
detailed evaluation. It makes
me believe you actually dined
at the establishment. The
vague example gives me an
impression of going in a place
for a brief time and then
leaving out.
261781247
RE:
Detailed
Support
vs.
Vague
Support
261570683
Raymond Evans
1/6/2012 5:40:29 PM
there is a massive difference between both pieces. thank you for the detailed
explanation. this assignment has been very tricky with staying unbiased.
262229787,26258 262179821
RE:
Detailed
Support
vs.
Vague
Support
261570683
Stephen Lance
1/7/2012 4:53:18 PM
I absolutely understand the difference between the vague and detailed support. I
thought it worth sharing on this topic the way my Human Resources team approaches
this as it comes to an evaluation. Their view is actually the opposite. The want it clear
concise and not containing too much detail. An example would be, they at elooking for
a statement that says, the target of x was missed as the employee achieved y. Ad no
further details. The details a captured in the counseling or money coverage
conversations, not in the evaluation.
262580322,26260 262229787
262179821
RE:
Detailed
Support
Professor Harty
vs.
Vague
Support
1/7/2012 6:35:10 PM
This is a good connection, Stephen. When I worked on my employee
evaluations, I set targets: so many media contacts per month, so many
projects completed on time, etc. When you add up the numbers and the
targets are not met, then you can say, "this employee failed to meet
standards in three of four areas. Her rating is thus "poor" and she is on
probation." This is what the HR people need when you want to say, "time to
make a change."
262580322
262229787
RE:
Detailed
Support
Dustin Hunt
vs.
Vague
Support
1/8/2012 2:55:45 PM
I am starting to feel like I'm not good enough to get a job...I'm
sorry that I can't fully focus on this.. I hope that I can improve
later..
262608161
262229787
RE:
Detailed
Support
Raymond Evans
vs.
Vague
Support
1/8/2012 3:56:52 PM
i sometimes find it hard to juggle many items. i hope that i can fix
that before i leave the military. it will be a challenge for me in any
work place that i may find my self in the future.
262246656
262229787
RE:
Detailed
Support
Omer Mennan Guler
vs.
Vague
Support
1/7/2012 7:05:49 PM
This is a very Good example Stephen, where you show how useless
a vague comment can be and how it could be made very useful if
people are giving details, that would be an opportunity for
improvement and pave the way for future solutions. In your
example, if the company had been giving detailed feedback to the
employee once they see that her performance was slipping, the
employee would have enough data to come up with a plan on how
she can improve her performance. However, if they are saying that
it was just 'Poor' or some vague description like that, then it would
not be useful both for the company and the employee as they
would not be able to make any useful action out of that.
262129761
RE:
Detailed
Support
vs.
Vague
Support
261570683
Nicole Whitsey
1/7/2012 2:55:04 PM
Thanks Professor,
I really see the difference when something is explained vaguely as opposed to
someone pointing out details that give the reader a feel of being in the story. when
you explained the decor in the paragraph above I pictured myself in a restaurant with
the mauve walls and crystal chandeliers.
Thanks for the help this will help my eval paper.
262340230
RE:
Detailed
Support
vs.
Vague
Support
261570683
Tamara Boyd
1/7/2012 9:50:28 PM
The detailed explanation allows the reader to imagine what the place looks like and
gives a specific price of a dish. Having an idea of prices at the restaurant will
encourage some readers to go to this restaurant. This explanation fully engages the
audience. The vague explanation could be written about any restaurant and does not
give the reader the opportunity to visualize the restaurant. Thank you for this
example.
262798206
RE:
Detailed
Support
vs.
Vague
Support
261570683
Tatrecha Wilson
1/8/2012 8:56:42 PM
Having a detailed description makes it seem as if you as the reader are
there at the restaurant. Describing The vague description doesn't keep
me interested enough to even care about the topic.
262626741
RE:
Detailed
Support
vs.
Vague
Support
261570683
Jason Reed
1/8/2012 4:34:21 PM
This will help us on our project we have to do, because if you want to write a good
thesis you have to keep the readers into what you are talking about. If you make
many vague remarks in the paper it will loose the reader and they wont be able to
keep up with what is going on. But if you write one with allot of detail it will keep the
reader interested and focused on it which is the best thing for you to do. As for things
like Business reports when I managed I used to make sure my reports for the week
were not vague because the details about it are really important for managers to make
sure that they are done well so when the higher up managers will understand what
has happened in the week while you closed out.
262387695
Evaluating
elements
0
Angelique Marrero
1/7/2012 11:44:03 PM
Danielle's exploration leads us on a visual odyssey. Her description
of every aspect of her decision to embark on her vacation draws us
into her story. She discusses why her choice would be idea and
allows the reader to understand her process on deciding which
vacation location would be the optimal choice. Her description of pro
and cons to why she should choice Louisville as her vacation
destination allows the reader to be draw into her writing.
262503778
Elements
0
Nicole Salmen
1/8/2012 11:51:26 AM
She first explains that she cannot afford better vacations without her parents help and now that
she is a college student and has a budget than it is harder to go to the same places as she did
when she was in high school. She explains that there are other students in her position too and
that they can go to a non-expensive place for five days. She organized it very well. Explaining
her past, than present, than details and than the pros and cons. The detail that she uses are
reasonable for a college student. I would have thought of the same ideas. Her arguments are
effective because she took time and effort to look at the prices for each place and to see what
fun things they have to offer and thats what can make or break it.
262711545
Wrapping
up!
0
Professor Harty
1/8/2012 6:55:12 PM
Class, thanks for your excellent work in analyzing the Cordaro essay and brainstorming about
how to create a detailed and effective evaluation. I am looking forward to reading your essay
(and, hopefully, picking up a few tips on some great restaurants across the country!). Be sure to
follow the rubric (in doc sharing) and be sure it is in on time, tonight at midnight. Get started on
our Week 2 threads nice and early this week.
_u=9652289;_dt=
99-CD-FB-7D-89-