Why does the Bible Say? 1 Corinthians 12:12 For just as the body is one and has many members, and all the members of the body, through many, are one body so it is with Christ. What does the Catechism say? CCC#2333 “Everyone, man and woman, should acknowledge and accept his sexual identity. Physical, moral and spiritual differences are oriented toward the goods marriage and the flourishing of family life. The harmony of the couple and of society depends in part on the way in which the need and mutual support between the sexes are lived out. Why listen to the Church? The church has studies and taught about the human sexuality for almost 2000 year- they have the experience. God is not anti-sex- he was the one who created it. Our parents are here to protect us and so is God though the church-- that is why there are guidelines. How is sex and sexuality connected? Sex is only one part of our sexuality. Everything we do and who we are is our sexuality. How have you changed over the last few years with each part of the wheel? Write an example by each part of the sexuality wheel? In your notebook, list why all of these changes are gifts or blessings? What would/wouldn’t not happen with/without these changes? Story…. Imagine you’ve just been given a truckload of cash as a gift. After recovering from the shock, you have to make some decisions about what to do with money. You could spend it all now, save it now and spend later, or a little of both. Your sexuality, and specifically your virginity, is like that cash. It’s been given to you as a gift. Too many people fail to realize how valuable that gift is, so they don’t give serious thought to what they’ll do with it. But you have to decide on your own-I can’t decide for you, your parents can’t decide for you, and your friends can’t decide for you-whether you’ll save it all, or spend it all, or save a little and spend a little. Only one of these is morally right. Only one of these choices is logical and safe. (from Sex, Love and You) Student Notes: What is free will/freedom?: ability to make your choices, Who you date? How far go?, when to break up…, etc. Are you totally free? Your freedom is restricted in many ways. You are free to violate another person’s freedom, to disregard the laws of God or our country or to avoid the consequences of your choices. Choosing freely doesn’t mean doing whatever you feel like doing. Freedom is one of the greatest gifts that God has given human beings, but it is a gift that could be misused. God invites us to play a part in building our own lives and lives with us in our choices. How does this apply to chastity? How about this for goal setting? The Harvard Example How does 3% of the people, make more than 97% people combined. The answer is a simple question: “Have you set clear, written goals for your future and made plans to accomplish them?” In 1979, interviewers asked new graduates from the Harvard’s MBA Program and found that: 84% had no specific goals at all 13% had goals but they were not committed to paper 3% had clear, written goals and plans to accomplish them In 1989, the interviewers again interviewed the graduates of that class. You can guess the results: The 13% of the class who had goals were earning, on average, twice as much as the 84 percent who had no goals at all. Even more staggering – the three percent who had clear, written goals were earning, on average, ten times as much as the other 97 percent put together. Why does the Bible say? Genesis 2:18-25 “Then the Lord said: It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him as a helper as is partner. So out of the ground the Lord God formed every animal of the field and every bird of the air, and brought them to the man to see what he would call them; and whatever the man called every living creature that was its name. The man gave names to all the cattle and to the birds of the air and to every animal of the field; but for the man there was not found a helper for his partner. So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man and he slept; then he took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh. And the rib that the Lord God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man. Then the man said, “This at last is bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh; this one shall be called Woman for out of man this one was taken. Therefore a man leaves is father and his mother and lings to his wife, and they become one flesh. And the man and his wife were both naked, and we not ashamed. What does the Catechism say? “Freedom is the power, rooted in reason and will, to act or not to act, to do this or that, and so to perform deliberate actions on one’s own personality and one’s own responsibility. By free will one shapes one’s own life. Human freedom is a force for growth and maturity in truth and goodness; it attains its perfection when directed toward God, our beatitude. Why do Human beings enter into relationships with one another? ◦ Humans enter into relationships through community, friends, marriage, God, etc. ◦ For safety, companionship, the basics, love, entertainment, etc. ◦ Good relationships have a “give-and-take” nature to them and become the basis for love Do we bring out the best in each other? Are we loyal and honest with one another? Is our relationship mutual & equal? Do we accept each other for who we truly are? Are we generous with each other? What else can you add to this list? ◦ Close friends- Someone who you would disclose anything about yourself [RARE] ◦ Collaborators-People who have a common interest or project they are working on together ◦ Buddies- Usually form around a mutual interest or activity – Team Mates ◦ Relatives- our families who our friends ◦ Acquaintances-You know who they are but know little about them ◦ ◦ ◦ ◦ ◦ ◦ Distance Changes in each person Competition and Envy Money owed & Favors Over dependence Betrayal What else can you add to this list? Video: Sex as God’s Gift Program Five Follow-up Activity: Girl’s Perspective and Guys Perspective () or you can discuss the PowerPoint with the statistics already completed. Worksheet: Learning to Love Students Notes: • Chastity is sexual self- control; it is an attitude of respect, a positive lifestyle • It applies to everyone, unmarried and married. • Unmarried- staying pure in thought and deed, refraining from sexual intercourse and deliberate genital arousal. • Married- staying true to your marriage partner and only engaging in sexual intercourse within the marriage- (fidelity) Celibacy- special form of chastity, it excludes all forms of genital sexual intimacy • Chastity is a spiritual state not just a physical state. Although a person can’t regain his or her physical virginity, anyone at any time can regain chastity. It is emotional virginity. The advantages of living a chaste lifestyle are freedom from a negative lifestyle and freedom to live a positive lifestyle. Guilt, worry, doubt, regret Wondering “How far will I go on this date with this person” Being used by others and using other people STI’s The possibility of not being able to bear a child because of an STI Pregnancy Deciding to raise a child you are not ready for or giving it up for adoption. Trauma of abortion Loss of Reputation Pressure to marry early or the wrong person The ghosts of past sexual relationships invading your marriage Chastity gives you freedom to: Exercise control over your life Develop real friendships based on mutual respect, shared thoughts, and feelings. Have many relationships Develop self-respect and self- control Finish your education and achieve financial stability before having to marry. Find a potential mate who values you for the person that you are Enjoy greater trust in marriage. Worksheet: Concept Frame on Chastity Activity: Students are to create two webs on the board; what does respect look like and what does someone who doesn’t respect you look like. Why are some people my age choosing to be sexually intimate? Sexual Attraction: Human beings are sexual creatures and we are interested and attracted to others. The power of sexual attraction is one reason some people get sexually involved, however, as humans we have a God given free will and are capable of controlling strong desires. Societal and Media Pressure: We live in a sex saturated society. Popular media mediums promote sex and glorify it. Eventually this constant focus on sex will make us more susceptible to sexual temptation. Peer Pressure: The need to belong to feel accepted is a deep need and in adolescence there is as strong desire to be accepted by peers that can make it hard for us to resist per pressure to do things that are not good for us such as drinking alcohol and sex. Pressure from Partner: Some young people find it harder to handle pressure from someone they are involved with. Common reasons: My partner puts pressure on me, If I don’t have sex with this person, they won’t like me anymore, they will leave, I want to prove it from my partner. Desire to be normal: Young people are under the false impression that everyone is doing it and their desire to be normal will lead to sexual activity Parental Example and Permissiveness: For some teens what goes on at home may influence them to get involved sexually. Some parents send messages that they would not disapprove if their child had sex. The wrong kind of sex education: Sometimes the sex education that students get in school is long on information but short on values. Mistaken Belief: sometimes teens at of popular misconception about sex. Don’t know what else to do- having sex because of boredom Drinking and Drugs Low Self-Esteem: Use insecurity as an excuse to have sex to feel wanted and part of a group Loneliness: try to get close to someone by using sex No Good Reasons to Say NO What does the Bible say? Sir. 6:33 “If you love to listen you will gain knowledge, and if you pay attention you will become wise.” What the CCC say? The virtue of chastity blossoms in friendship. It shows the disciple how to follow and imitate him who has chosen us as his friends, who has given himself totally to us and allows participating in his divine estate. Chastity is a promise of immortality. Chastity is expressed notably in friendship with one’s neighbor. Whether it develops between person of the same or opposite sex, friendship represents a great good for all. It leads to spiritual communion. Read: Making Choices for you. Urethra: a tube in which urine passes from the bladder to the outside of the body. Vagina: passageway from the uterus to outside the body; passage way for menstrual flow. Cervix: the mouth or opening into the uterus Uterus: a pear shape organ in which the beginning at puberty the lining sheds months during menstruation Fallopian tubes: passageway for the egg from the ovary to the uterus; place where fertilization occurs Ovaries: oval shaped structures which contain 300,000 to 500, 000 eggs at birth; produced the female sex hormones: estrogen and progesterone; release the egg Ovum or egg: size of pin head; if not fertilized. Dissolves and is absorbed; usually one is released monthly; if more than one egg is released, may result in the twins or multiple births Menstruation: Function: periodic shedding of the lining of the uterus that has formed for a fertilized egg Age of Onset: varies from 9-17 ends 45-55 Length Duration: varies 2-7 days Reproductive process: Ovulation: during ovulation an ovary releases a mature egg which then becomes available for fertilization: occurs approximately 14 days before the menstrual period begins but is frequently irregular in younger girls. Fertilization: the union of an egg with a sperm in the fallopian tube; sperm are capable of fertilization up to 7 days after intercourse Fertility- the physical ability or power to give life, to procreate. A female fertility cycle is theme between the beginning of one period of menstruation and the beginning of the next period of menstruation. Most cycle last from three to five weeks and includes a short period of fertility and a longer period of infertility. Therefore, women are only fertile at certain, while men are fertile all the time. Menstruation is referred to as the beginning of the cycle. The lining of the uterus, which had developed in preparation for receiving a new life, is made up of cells and tiny blood vessels. When fertilization does not occur, this lining is integrates and flows out of the body through the vagina. This is called a women’s period. If an egg is fertilized, it results in conception and new life. Male: External Penis: the male sex organ Scrotum: the pouch located behind the penis which contains the testicles; provide protection to the testicles; control temperature necessary for sperm protection and survival. Testes: round glands which descend into the scrotum following birth; produce and store sperm starting in puberty; produce the male sex hormone, testosterone Internal Vas Deferens: passageway for sperm leading from the testicle and joining the urethra. Seminal Vesicle: a sac-like structure lying behind the bladder; secretes a thick fluid that forms –part of the semen Prostate Gland: a gland located in the male pelvis secretes a thick, milky fluid that forms part of the semen. Cowper’s Gland: two glands that secrete a fluid that is released from the penis soon after erection; may contain sperm. Urethra: the tube which urine passed from the bladder to the outside of the body; closed to urine during ejaculation. Sperm: the make sex cells; too small to be seen without a microscope; shaped like tadpoles; movement aided by lashing their tails; production begin usually between age 12-14; total umber per ejaculation 200-500 million; may survive in the fallopian tubes for 7 days, but rarely cause fertilization after 72 hours. Ejaculation: the release of semen from the penis Semen: the sperm- containing fluid that passes out of the penis at the time of ejaculation; produced and stored in the seminal vesicles and prostate gland. -Male fertility doesn’t occur in cycles. Once males past puberty, their fertility is continuous. - Fertility begins in males with the production of sperm cells. The process usually starts when boys are between the ages of twelve and sixteen. - Sperm are first formed in tiny tubes inside the testicles. As sperm matures, they travel to a large tube, which is called the Vas Deferens. There are two of these larger tubes, one for each testicle. -The testicles are found outside of the make body. Why do you askis something so precious left outside the body where they are vulnerable to injury, The reason is that sperm production requires a temperature that is slight cooler than the rest of the body. The scrotum which is the sac of skin covering the testicle actually regulates the temperature of the testicles. . Student Note: Sexually Transmitted Diseases are communicable diseases that are usually passed through intimate sexual activity. However, in some cases, the disease may be passed from mother to child, exchanging body fluids such as unclean spa tools, and through skin to skin contact where no intercourse is needed. The highest incidences of sexually transmitted diseases occur in 15-24 age range. The only sure way of avoiding the infection of STD’s is to abstain from ANY sexual contact and intercourse. More than 110 million people (in the US) (in 2008, there was 65 million) are currently living with an incurable STD. An additional 20 million (up from 15 million in 2008) become infected with one or more STD’s each year. Roughly half of these are lifelong contractions. Half of these new infections are people in the age ranges of 15-24 years. Yet, Sexually Transmitted Diseases are one of the most underrecognized health concerns in the country today. Read: Sexually Transmitted Diseases Fact Sheet Student Notes: An important sexually transmitted disease to note is HPV. HPV is the most common of all the sexual transmitted disease because of it prevalent, how it affects people, and that it passed through skin to skin contact. See the facts below: 1 in 2 people who are sexually active have it Passed skin to skin (no intercourse necessary) It can cause: cervical cancer, penile cancer, rectal cancer, hysterectomy There is no test for men- none. The disease can lay dormant for five years and then pop up. Ten years ago, 30 different strains, now over 100 different types. Article: National Post “Sex Degrees of Separation” The goal of the article is to show kids living in a regular high school community, how quickly the spread the sexually transmitted diseases could spread out. Video: Sex as God’s Gift Video One, Program 2 Activity: What’s Going Around? Handout: (class set- it is up to the teacher but they really do not need to have one of their own) Sexual Exposure Chart Read: stories from “Sex has a Price Tag” (Included in Binder) Handout: Students are to complete the STD Review Sheet Discussion: “Safe” vs. “myth”? Is it really safe? Is anything really safe? What are the consequences, if you are not safe? That having sex was a way to get rid of sexual tension, Read: The following story from Sex, Love and you by Thomas Likona “I began to notice that the more sex I had the more that I wanted. I had always heard but the opposite was true. Having sex increased my desire. It was like a drug. I could stop myself, yet at the same time, I WASN’T SATISIFED AT ALL” Teen in Sex, Love, and you” Myth: Read: 10 plus 7 Dangers of Masturbation (The fact that sex without the emotional, spiritual, marriage covenant and loving attachment is not safe because of the reduction of the activity to a basic biological response to a stimulus. A biological response was not the way that God intended it to be and it is not safe. ) Safe: is recognizing that there are many aspects to a relationship especially a sexually intimate one and it needs to wait for the covenant of marriage. The marital embrace is total, free, faithful, and fruitful; it unlike the story above because when these are met, it is a satisfying relationship. Worry of Pregnancy and STD’s Disappointment and Emptiness Regret Guilt Fear of getting pregnant or STDs is a source of real emotional stress for lots of young people Kids have sex and end up terrified, and never want to go through that experience again. Sex is a poor substitute for intimacy Girls are more likely to see sex as a sign of “commitment” in the relationship more often than not kids regret losing their virginity Regret over uncommitted sexual relationships can last for years Guilt is a special form of regret- it’s your conscience telling you’ve done something morally wrong Guilt is a productive feeling when it reminds you of your values and gets you back on the right track. The best response to guilt is to accept God’s forgiveness and as for his grace to amend your life. God and religion may not be in the forefront of your mind right now but even if they’re somewhere in the background what you’ve been taught about God and sinful behavior is still part of you. Loss of Self-Respect and Self- Esteem Sex without commitment can lower the self-respect and selfesteem of both the user and the used. People aren’t things. They are not meant to be used then thrown away. People who exploit people in this way not only hurt others, they damage their own character and loss respect for themselves. Lack of Trust and Fear of Commitment Depression and Suicide –guys or girls who feel used or betrayed after a sexual relationship breaks us may experience difficulty with future relationships -kids who have had sex at younger ages have a higher risk of suicide and depression 8. Negative Effects on Sexual Intimacy in Marriage - Comparison: if you have had sex with someone other than your spouse there will be a tendency to compare them to previous sexual partners What does the bible say? Genesis 1:27-28 “So God created humankind in his image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them. God blessed them, and God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth and subdue it; and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the air and over every living think that moves upon the earth. What does the CCC say? CCC#2378 “A child is not something owed to one but is a gift. The ‘supreme gift of marriage’ is a human person. A child may not be considered a piece of property, an idea to which an alleged ‘right to a child’ would lead. In this area, only the child possesses genuine rights; the right ‘ to be the fruits of the specific act of the conjugal love of his his/her parents’, and the right to be respected as a person from the moment of his/her conception. Scripture: Read the three following scripture selections. Choose one of them. Think about these questions: What do you hear God saying to you? What is speaking to you? Genesis 1:27-28 “So God created humankind in his image, ion the image of God he created them; male and female he created them. God blessed them, and God said to them, ‘Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it; and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the birds of the air and over every living things that moves upon the earth.” Genesis 17:15-16 “God said to Abraham, ‘ As for Sarah your wife, you shall not call her Sarai, but Sarah shall be her name. I will bless her, and moreover I will give you a son by her. I will bless her, and she shall give rise to nations; kings of people shall come from her.” Luke 1:38 “Then Mary said. “Here am I, the servant of the Lord, let it be with me according to your word.” Then the angel departed from her.” The message that I heard in the scripture passage that I read ________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________ _____________________. The sacrament that strongly stood out to me was ________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________. The message that it has about “my body being created in the image and likeness of God” was ________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________ ______________________, What does it say about Marriage? Marriage Matters Booklet in the Binder What does the “YouCat” say? What is the significance of the child in a marriage? A child is a creature and a gift of God, which comes to earth through the love of his parents. True love does not desire a couple to be self-contained. Love opens up in the child. A child that has been conceived and born is not something “made”, nor is he the sum of his paternal and maternal genes. He is completely new and unique creature of God equipped with his own soul. How many children should a Christian married couple have? A Christian married couple has as many children as God gives them and as they can take responsibility for. All children whom God sends are a grace and a great blessing. That does not mean that a Christian couple is not supposed to consider how many children they can raise responsibly given the health of each spouse and their economic or social situation. When a child comes “nevertheless”, that child should be welcomes with joy and willingness and accepted with great love. By trusting in God, many Christian couples find the courage to have a large family. May a Christian married couple regulate the number of children they have? Yes, a Christian married couple may and should be responsible in using the gift and privilege of transmitting life. Sometimes, social, psychological and medical conditions are suck that in the given circumstances an additional child would be a big, almost superhuman challenge for the couple, Hence there are clear criteria that the married couple must observe: Regulating births, in the first place, must not mean that that the couple is avoiding conception as a matter of principle. Second, it must not mean avoiding children for selfish reasons. Third, it must not mean that external coercion is involved (if, for example, the state were to decide who many children a couple could have)/ Fourth, it must not mean that any and every means may be used. “Responsible Parenthood- the Church affirms and defends a married couple’s right within the context of natural family planning to determine by themselves the number of their children and the distance between their births” Why are all the methods of preventing the conception of a child not equally good? The Church recommends the refined methods of self-observation and natural family planning (NFP) as methods of deliberately regulating conception. These are keeping with the dignity of man and woman; they respect innate laws of the female body; they demand mutual affection and consideration and therefore are a school of love. The church pays careful attention to the order of nature and sees in it a deep meaning. For her it is therefore not a matter of indifference whether a couple manipulates the woman’s fertility or instead makes use of the natural alternation of fertile and infertile days. It is not accident that- Natural Family Planning is called NATURAL= it is ecological, holistic, healthy, and exercises in partnership. On the other hand, the Church rejects all artificial means of contraception- namely chemical methods (“the Pills), mechanical methods (for example, condom, intra-uterine device or IUD), and surgical, methods (sterilization)-since these attempt to separate the sexual act from its procreative potential and block the total self-giving of husband and wife. Such methods can even endanger the woman’s health, have an abortifacient effect (=cause a very early abortion), and in the long run be detrimental to the couple love life. What can a childless couple do?Married couples who suffer from infertility can accept any medical assistance that does not contradict the dignity of the human person, the rights of the child to be conceived, and the holiness of the sacrament of matrimony. There is no absolute right to have a child. Every child is a gift from God. Married couples to whom this has been denied, even though they have exhausted all permissible medial means of assistance can take in foster children or adopt children or become socially involved in some other way, for instance by caring for abandoned children. “Do not forget that there are many children, many women, many men in this world who do not have what you have, and make sure that you love them, too, until it hurts.”- Blessed Teresa of Calcutta What is the church’s judgment on surrogate motherhood and artificial fertilization? All assistance in conceiving a child through research and medicine must stop when the common bond of parenthood is loosened and destroyed by the intrusion of a third person or when conception becomes a technological act outside a sexual union in marriage. Out of respect for human dignity, the Church cannot approve of the technologically assisted conception of a child through artificial insemination or fertilization. Every child has in God’s plan the right to have a father and a mother, to know his parents, and if at all possible to grow up surrounded by their love. Artificial insemination and fertilization with the sperm of another man or the ovum of another woman (heterologous artificial insemination and fertilization) also destroys the spirit of marriage, in which husband and wife have the right to become a father or a mother only through the other spouse. But even homologous artificial insemination and fertilization (in which sperm and ovum come from the souses) make a child the product of a technological procedure and does not allow it to originate from the loving union of a personal sexual encounter. If the child becomes a product, however, then that leads immediately to cynical questions about product quality and product liability. The church also rejects pre-implantation diagnosis, which is carried out for the purpose of killing imperfect embryos. Surrogate motherhood too, in which an artificially conceived embryo is implanted into another woman, is contrary to human dignity. Handout: Avoiding Pregnancy and Maintaining Sexual Health Discussion: On the bottom of the page, have a discussion as to why the Church says “yes” to love. Explore: Discussion Why are so many teens choosing not to engage in a sexual relationship until they are in a committed married relationship? There are some teens who know the consequences of sexual activity, but they still become sexually active. Why? Extension ( ) Complete the sheet “My Body is a Temple of the Holy Spirit.” Outline the dove in red, and write down on the dove, all the effective ways that you can remain healthy and abstinent. What does the Bible say? 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 “Love is patient; love is kind; love is not envious or boastful or arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices in truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, and endures all things. Love never ends. 1 Corinthians 6:19 “Or do you not know that your temple of the Holy Spirit with you, which you have from God, and that you are not your own? CCC1930: “Respect for the human personal entails respect for the rights that flow from his dignity as a creature. These rights are prior to society and must be recognized…. What is Dignity? -The quality or state of being worthy of esteem or respect. Dignity in our church is upholding a great respected for the human life, the human body as a temple of God’s creation in the love in which it was created. (student note) When dignity and respect of person is not upheld in a relationship, it may be a type of abuse. Neglected: not providing adequate emotional and physical care Emotional Abuse: Placing unreasonable demands on a person. The person may endure threats, belittling comment, blackmailing behaviors, beating down of person’s self-esteem, self-worth and body image. Physical Abuse: inappropriate physical force, resulting in injury Sexual Abuse: this includes physical exploitation, unwanted touches or advance, exposure, and sexual assaults. Worksheet: Abuse Fact Sheets Extension: You have the guidance counselor or the family school liaison counselor in the classroom, to discuss abuse, harassment, and strategies to avoid abuse and how to cope if you are a victim of abuse. Sexual abuse, abuse against the body, etc. could all be covered. Abortion: The deliberate termination of a pregnancy before the fetus has developed enough to survive outside the uterus. Christmas story about the abortion Euthanasia: Euthanasia is the painlessly ending the life of a person for reasons of mercy. The Catholic Church views all life to be precious and no one other than God can choose a time of birth and death. Taking the life of an innocent person is always wrong. Deliberate killing of the sick or disable is against God’s law. Withholding of ordinary means of treatment such as IV’s food/water, or common surgical procedures in the case of abuse or assault with disabilities is never allowed. Rather than trying to deny sickness and death by speedy removal of pain through Euthanasia, people should cherish the last moments they are given with tis person by God and let death take its natural course. Stem Cell Research: Scientific advances have made new treatments for a wide variety of diseases possibilities and for the reparation of human organs and tissues. (There are a variety of ethical issues in this one from the treatment, where the stem cells come from, does the person donating know where they are going, should we be cloning, what are the ethical arguments around cloning, etc.) Pornography: the exploitation of human being through the use of their bodies. Activity: Write a prayer/pledge or create a poster around the theme of human dignity or regarding the abuses in our society and how we can create a society without abuse. Present your prayer on colorful paper to be hung in the classroom as a reminder of human dignity being a fundamental human right.