nd

#13-16 Midwest:
NCAT/Liberty, Albany, Valparaiso, New Mexico St.
• #16-North Carolina A&T- 19-16 (8-8
MEAC)
• #16-Liberty- 15-20 (6-10 Big South)
• #15-Albany- 24-10 (9-7 America East)
• #14- Valparaiso- 26-7 (13-3 Horizon)
• Calcutta participant Bryan Quenaud led the Crusaders in 2001 in the following categories:
• Yellow Cards (6)
• Red Cards (2)
• Blatant Cheap Shots (Hundreds)
• Intentional Handballs (7)
• Shot on goal (100%, 1 shot, 1 goal)
• Seen here beating Michigan State, will repeat in NCAA BB this year.
• #13- New Mexico State- 24-10 (14-4
WAC)

#12 Midwest: Oregon Ducks
• Resume:
• 26-8 (12-6 Pac 12)
• Pac 12 Tournament Champions
• Key Wins: Arizona, UCLA x2, UNLV
• Bad Losses: UTEP, Utah
• Other Notes:
• Struggled without key PG Artis in the middle of the season.
• One of the seeding snubs that professional douche Doug Gottlieb couldn’t stop talking about.
• Ridiculous home court design

#11 Midwest: Middle Tennessee State/St.Mary’s
• #11- Middle Tennessee State- 28-
5 (19-1 Sub Belt)
• Regular Season Sun Belt Champs
• Choked in conf. tourney, saved by the committee
• MTSU are the Blue Raiders
• #11- St Mary’s 27-6 (14-2 WCC)
• Runner up in WCC regular season and conf. tournament
• Half their losses this season have come vs. Gonzaga
• Gael Force One still going strong
• First Four still stupid

#10 Midwest: Cincinnati Bearcats
• Resume:
• #10 Cincinnati- 22-11 (9-9 Big East)
• T-9 TH in Big East
• Key Wins- Marquette, Pitt, Oregon
• Losses- Every other decent Big East team that they played
• Other Notes:
• In case you missed it, they unveiled their Zubaz uniforms last week
• This tournament is missing Huggy
Bear
• He is probably hammered drunk somewhere thinking about it

#9 Midwest: Missouri Tigers
• Resume:
• 23-10 (11-7 SEC)
• T-5 th regular season SEC
• Key Wins- Illinois, Florida
• Losses- Several to SEC bubble teams
• Other Notes:
• Worst coach this side of Tubby
Smith
• Other picture was one of my favorites from last year from Long
Beach St…they didn’t make it, transfer to Mizzou complete

#8 Midwest: Colorado State Rams
• Resume:
• 25-8 (11-5 MWC)
• Runner up in Mountain West
• Key Wins: UNLV, SD St.
• #23 RPI
• Other Notes:
• Nothing much interesting about this team or school
• Like nothing at all
• They probably smoke a lot of weed there
• I hate hippies

#7 Midwest: Creighton Bluejays
• Resume:
• 27-7 (13-5 MVC)
• Regular Season MVC Champs
• MVC Tournament Champs
• Wins: Wisconsin, Cal, Wichita
St.(x2)
• Losses: Illinois St, N.Iowa, St. Marys
• Other Notes:
• Lead by All-American candidate
Doug McDermott
• Probably joining Big East next year
• Lock city at -3

#6 Midwest: Memphis Tigers
• Resume:
• 30-4 (16-0 C-USA)
• Regular Season C-USA Champs
• Tournament C-USA Champs
• Key Wins: Tenn, Southern Miss
(x3)
• Other Notes:
• Tough draw with a potential matchup with Valpo in round 2
• Still waiting for the Coach Cal years to get vacated

#5 Midwest: Oklahoma St. Cowboys
• Resume:
• 24-8 (13-5 Big 12)
• 3 RD in Big 12
• Key Wins: Kansas, Oklahoma,
Kansas St, NC State
• Bad Losses: Virginia Tech
• Other Notes:
• Home of “Pistol Pete”
• When I run out of things to say, you know the drill…

#4 Midwest: Saint Louis Billikens
• Resume:
• 27-6 (13-3 A-10)
• Regular Season A-10 Champs
• Tournament A-10 Champs
• Key Wins- New Mexico, Valpo, Butler
(x2), VCU (x2)
• Other Notes:
• RIP Rick Majerus, I told him to eat a few more salads last year. He looked at me then and tried to eat my finger off
• Maybe Mangino or Weis will take my advice
• A Billiken is an elf like charm doll, that was a fad toy in the early 1900’s

#3 Midwest: Michigan State Spartans
• Resume:
• 25-8 (13-3 Big 10)
• 3 rd in Big 10
• Key Wins-Kansas, Michigan, Ohio
St, Wisconsin
• Other Notes:
• Tough Draw with Valpo and close to thier strong fanbase, I almost feel bad for Coach Izzo
• Chuck Winslow’s best friend

#2 Midwest: Duke Blue Devils
• Resume:
• 27-5 (14-4 ACC)
• 2 nd place ACC
• Choked in QF of ACC Tourney
• Key Wins: Louisville, Ohio St,
Miami
• Other Notes:
• Looking forward to seeing them choke again this year, we’ll see if they can get out of the first round this year.
• Let’s go Albany!

#1 Midwest: Louisville Cardinals
• Resume:
• 29-5 (14-4 Big East)
• Overall #1 seed
• Regular Season Big East Champs
• Tournament Big East Champs
• Key Wins: Syracuse (x2), Notre
Dame (x2), Marquette
• Other Notes:
• Lost to ND in 5 OT this year, costing me a loss on my biggest hoops wager of the year.

#13-16 West:
Southern University, Iona, Harvard, Boise St/LaSalle
• #16- Southern University- 23-9
(15-3 SWAC)
• #15- Iona- 20-13 (11-7 MAAC)
• #14- Harvard- 19-9 (11-3 Ivy)
• #13- Boise State- 21-10 (9-7
MWC)
• #13- LaSalle 21-9 (11-5 A-10)
• Where is this Southern University located?
• I’ve come around on the
Explorers, cool nickname
• We have two Gaels in the tournament

#12 West: Mississippi Rebels
• Resume:
• 26-8 (12-6 SEC)
• SEC Tournament Champs
• Key Wins: Florida, Mizzou (x2)
• Other Notes:
• You are sure to hear a lot about
“having to see Marshall Henderson play a game”.
• You mean chucking 3’s from wherever he feels like it with no other options around him while acting like an asshat
• Yeah- I’ve seen intermural basketball before, thanks!
• Wisconsin is going to blow this kid up

#11 West: Belmont Bruins
• Resume:
• 26-6 (14-2 OVC)
• Regular Season OVC Champs
• OVC Tourney Champs
• Very weak SOS
• Key Wins: Cannot find any
• Other Notes:
• They are from Nashville, I like
Nashville?

#10 West: Iowa State Cyclones
• Resume:
• 22-11 (11-7 Big 12)
• T-4 th in Big 12
• Key Wins: Almost beat Kansas a couple of times, Kansas St,
Oklahoma St
• Mediocre team out of a mediocre conference
• Other Notes:
• Royce White remains the craziest dude in the NBA still…that’s saying something.
• Coached by “The Mayor” Freddie
Hoiberg

#9 West: Wichita State Shockers
• Resume:
• 26-8 (12-6 MVC)
• Runner up in MVC regular season and conference tourney
• Key wins: Creighton, VCU
• Bad Losses: SIU. I bet on SIU once this year, hands down the worst team I’ve seen this year.
• Other Notes:
• Cheerleader picture never gets old
• Shocking wheat involves stocking the grain upright in a field for drying

#8 West: Pittsburgh Panthers
• Resume:
• 24-8 (11-6 Big East)
• Big East 4 th place
• Key Wins: Syracuse, Georgetown
• Bad Losses: Rutgers
• Other Notes:
• Jamie Dixon’s teams often fall short come tournament time
• Much like the Panthers most well known alumnus

#7 West: Notre Dame Fighting Irish
• Resume:
• 25-9 (11-7 Big East)
• Key Wins: Marquette, Louisville,
Pittsburgh
• Bad Losses: St. Joe’s, Rutgers
• Other Notes:
• Obvious route is to make fun of
Manti, but I’ll just make fun of his
40 time.
• I’ll also have to poke fun at the lime green uniforms, which I actually kind of like….

#6 West: Arizona Wildcats
• Resume:
• 25-7 (12-6 Pac 12)
• Key Wins: Florida, San Diego St,
Miami
• Losses: Many in conference play
• Other Notes:
• No Arizona State girls this year
• Arizona has filled in admirably!
• Why did we stay in the Midwest for college?
• I mean seriously, it’s like 15 degrees out

#5 West: Wisconsin Badgers
• Resume:
• 23-11 (12-6 Big Ten)
• Big Ten Tourney Runner Up
• Key Wins: Michigan (x2), Indiana
(x2), Illinois (x2), Ohio St.
• Other Notes:
• Looking forward to Wisconsin blasting Marshall Henderson
• This is what happens when I make weight loss bets. Also, the last time
I was in Madison.
• Let’s hope this ends up better than the last three Rose Bowls
• Many famous alum!

#4 West: Kansas State Wildcats
• Resume:
• 27-7 (14-4 Big 12)
• Hired an outstanding coach to lead them on the path towards a
#4 seed this year.
• Key Wins: Florida, Oklahoma St
(x2)
• Losses: Kansas- all three times they played
• Other Notes:
• Bruce looks good in purple!

#3 West: New Mexico Lobos
• Resume:
• 29-5 (13-3 MWC)
• Regular Season MWC Champs
• MWC Tourney Champs
• Key Wins: Valpo, Lots of MWC teams
• Other Notes:
• Well another year has passed and yet still the only thing I know about New
Mexico is that a fading linebacker went there, they like methamphetamine there, and they have a pretty good basketball team there.
• You’re going to have to fight Nik for them if you want em though.
• One of only two tournament teams to knock off the Crusaders this year!

#2 West: Ohio State Buckeyes
• Resume:
• 26-7 (13-5 Big Ten)
• Big 10 Tourney Champs
• Key Wins: Indiana, Michigan St
(x2), Wisconsin, Michigan
• Other Notes:
• My pick to win it, if you want them you’ll have to go through me.
• THE Ohio State University
• Greg Oden’s knees
• A buckeye is a short, shiny, dark brown nut.

#1 West: Gonzaga Bulldogs
• Resume:
• 31-2 (16-0 WCC)
• Regular Season WCC Champs
• Tournament WCC Champs
• AP #1 Ranking
• Key Wins: Kansas St, Oklahoma
St, St. Mary’s (x3)
• Losses: Illinois, Butler
• Other Notes:
• Everyone’s pick to be the most vulnerable #1 seed
• Adam Morrison disagrees

#13-16 South:
SD State, NW State, Florida Gulf Coast, W.Kentucky
• #16- W.Kentucky- 20-15 (10-10
Sun Belt)
• #15- Florida Gulf Coast- 24-10
(13-5 A-Sun)
• #14- Northwestern St- 23-8 (15-3
Southland)
• #13- South Dakota St- 25-9 (13-3
Summit)
• Congrats to Northwestern to finally making in into the tournament!
• Oh, Nowrthwestern St made but
NW never has. I see.
• Beware the Jackrabbits

#12 South:
Akron Zips
• Resume:
• 26-6 (15-2 MAC)
• MAC Regular Season Champs
• MAC Tourney
• Key Wins: Middle Tenn St
• Other Notes:
• 2010 National Champs in Soccer
• Zips was orignally “the zippers” when the school was given nickname. Not sure where the kangaroo came from

#11 South:
Minnesota Golden Gophers
• Resume:
• 20-12 (8-10 Big Ten
• Key Wins: Indiana, Wisconsin,
Michigan St, Memphis, Illinois)
• Other Notes:
• One of the most confounding teams in the tournament with a lot of good wins on resume and plenty of bad losses too
• Then you remember Tubby is their leader
• Minnesota is the most forgotten about team in the B1G

#10 South: Oklahoma Sooners
• Resume:
• 20-11 (11-7 Big 12)
• Key Wins: Kansas, Oklahoma St
• Bad Losses: Stephen F Austin,
TCU
• Other Notes:
• They are better with Bob Stoops

#9 South: Villanova Wildcats
• Resume:
• 20-13 (10-8 Big East)
• Key Wins: Syracuse, G’town,
Marquette, Louisville
• Lost to the last place team in the
Ivy League
• Other Notes:
• They are the only thing standing between us and the “Roy
Williams Bowl”.
• Rooting for the Wildcats hard

#8 South: North Carolina Tar Heels
• Resume:
• 24-10 (12-6 ACC)
• 3 rd place ACC
• Runner Up ACC Tourney
• Key Wins: UNLV, NC St, otherwise not much meat to this resume
• Other Notes:
• Adam Hudak’s favorite team, if history tells us anything about his life, these guys are likely to lose in the first round

#7 South: San Diego State Aztecs
• Resume:
• 22-10 (9-7 MWC)
• Key Wins: New Mexico, UCLA
• Beat the teams they should have beat and played everyone else tough
• Other Notes:
• One of the few “unchanged slides from last year
• I think the results speak for themselves

#6 South: UCLA Bruins
• Resume:
• 25-9 (13-5 PAC 12)
• PAC 12 Regular Season Champs
• Key Wins: Missouri, Arizona (x2)
• Other Notes:
• Playing in the “underachiever game” vs. Minnesota
• Above is what UCLA used to be
• Below is what UCLA has turned into

#5 South: VCU Commadores
• Resume:
• 26-8 (12-4 A-10)
• A-10 Runner Up
• A-10 Tourney Runner Up
• Key Wins: Memphis, Butler
• Other Notes:
• Shaka!
• VCU a bit overrated
• Then again….final 4…

#4 South: Michigan Wolverines
• Resume:
• 26-7 (12-6 Big 10)
• Key Wins: NC St, Ohio St, Illinois
(x2), Michigan St
• Bad Losses: Penn State
• Led by Trey Burke and Tim
Hardaway III
• Other Notes:
• Jalen Rose is still awful at talking about basketball

#3 South: Florida Gators
• Resume:
• 26-7 (14-4 SEC)
• SEC Regular Season Champs
• Former # 1
• Key Wins: Marquette, Mizzou,
Wisconsin
• Losses: Kentucky, Arkansas,
Kentucky
• Spent most of the year beating up on a bad SEC
• Other Notes:
• They can’t stop with this Tebow thing, can they?

#2 South: Georgetown Hoyas
• Resume:
• 25-6 (14-4 Big East)
• T-1 st Big East Regular Season
• Key Wins: Louisville, Syracuse
(x2), Notre Dame, Marquette,
UCLA
• Scout’s Take: Solid Team that plays tough, don’t let Otto Porter beat you on the glass
• Other Notes:
• That girl has a big nose

#1 South: Kansas Jayhawks
• Resume:
• 29-5 (14-4 Big 12)
• T-1 st Big 12 Regular Season
• Big 12 Tourney Champs
• Key Wins: Ohio St, Kansas St (x3)
• Former #1
• Other Notes:
• Kansas Basketball was subject of
“There’s No Place Like Home”, hands down the worst 30 for 30 film and one of the more embarrassing things I have seen on ESPN (that’s saying something)

#13-16 East:
LIU-Brooklyn/JMU, Pacific, Davidson, Montana
• #16- LIU-Brooklyn Blackbirds 20-
13 (12-6 NEC)
• #16- James Madison 20-14 (11-7
CAA)
• #15- Pacific 22-12 (13-5 Big West)
• #14-Davidson 26-7 (17-1
Southern)
• #13- Montana 25-6 (19-1 Big Sky)
• I think we know who the crow is rooting for
• Davidson riding 17 game win streak

#12 East: California Golden Bears
• Resume:
• 20-11 (12-6 Pac 12)
• T-2 nd Pac-12
• Key Wins: Oregon (x2), Arizona,
Colorado
• Lots of peoples “sleeper pick”
• Other Notes:
• Lot of peoples “sleeper” pick vs.
UNLV whom they already lost to
• This bracket might not have any chick pictures, certainly won’t find any at Berkley

#11 East: Bucknell Bison
• Resume:
• 28-5 (12-2 Patriot)
• Patriot League Champs
• Key Wins: Purdue?
Other Notes:
• Congrats for being the whitest team in the tournament!
• Bucknell vs. Butler features two
“giant-killers”

#10 East: Colorado Buffalos
• Resume:
• 21-11 (10-8 Pac 12)
• Key Wins: Oregon (x2), Arizona
• 5 th place in Pac 12
• Not really sure how they got into tournament, good draw for the
Illini
• Other Notes:
• This random team that I have nothing to say about holds the key for every self-loathing Illini fans misery

#9 East: Temple Owls
• Resume:
• 23-9 (11-5 A-10)
• Key Wins: Saint Louis, Syracuse,
VCU
• Coach John Chaney, some other dude leads the Owls into battle
• Other Notes:
• John Chaney- deserved member of whichever Hall of Fame is listed in the photo
• Most grizzled member of the basketball coaches fraternity

#8 East: North Carolina State Wolfpack
• Resume:
• 24-10 (11-7 ACC)
• Key Wins: Duke, UNC
• Entered season ranked #6 and underperformed
• Other Notes:
• This is the last slide that I’m doing, I’m finished!

#7 East: Illinois Fighting Illini
• Resume:
• 22-12 (8-10 Big 12)
• Maui Invitation Champs
• Key Wins: Gonzaga, Indiana, Ohio
St
• Losses: Northwestern, Purdue
• Other Notes:
• Proud alumnus Chuck Winslow shows what he has learned at the
University, namely how to stick drinks in your pockets

#6 East: Butler Bulldogs
• Resume:
• 26-8 (11-5 A-10)
• Ranked in Top 10 earlier in season
• Key Wins: Gonzaga, UNC,
Marquette, Indiana
• Losses: Fell a little short in conference play
• Other Notes:
• Final Four Cinderella's in 2010 and 2011 are back after missing the tourney last year
• Left the Horizon League this year in fear of Bryce Drew

#5 East: Nevada-Las Vegas Running Rebels
• Resume:
• 25-9 (10-6 MWC)
• MWC Tourney Runner Up
• Key Wins: Iowa State, bunch of
MWC teams
• Other Notes:
• Vegas is last known whereabouts of homeless Crystal Laker Douglas
Chase a.k.a. Crnivuk
• Rumor has it the SOURCESAYER had him knocked off, others say it was Buzzsaw and Dynamo, only rumors of course

#4 East: Syracuse Orangemen
• Resume:
• 26-9 (11-7 Big East)
• Key Wins: Louisville, Notre Dame,
Georgetown (x2)
• Other Notes:
• Great suit from Boeheim
• Per usual didn’t play anyone outside of conference
• Gave up a great backdoor cover in the Big East championship game on Saturday
• I was already too browned out to enjoy it

#3 East: Marquette Golden Eagles
• Resume:
• 23-8 (14-4 Big East)
• T-1 st Big East Champs
• Key Wins: Wisconsin, Syracuse,
Georgetown
• Other Notes:
• Every Big East team in the tournament’s “key win” came against Marquette
• Only giving 3.5 points to #14
Davidson
• Expect Marquette to win by 20

#2 East: Miami Hurricanes
• Resume:
• 27-6 (15-3 ACC)
• Regular Season ACC Champs
• ACC Tournament Champs
• Key Wins: Michigan St, Duke, NC
State
• Bad Losses: Indiana St, Wake
Forest, Georgia Tech
• Former #1
• Other Notes:
• Universally considered the “5 th 1 seed” in this years tourney

#1 East: Indiana Hoosiers
• Resume:
• 27-6 (14-4 Big Ten)
• #3 Overall Seed
• Big Ten Regular Season Champs
• 5-time National Champions
• Key Wins: Every Big Ten Team outside of the state of Wisconsin
• Other Notes:
• Long way back for these Hoosiers
• One of the tournament favorites, led by POY candidate Victor
Oladipo