Braveheart Writers
10 secrets to quality writing
Words of Wisdom
Nothing is more dangerous
than an idea
If it is the only
one you have
Family Quilt
Tell the story of
A time you
could have
been killed
A pet story- ie the When the weather
birth/death of a
had an impact on
pet, favourite
you
memory
The first time you
did something
(school
appropriate)
A time you moved
somewhere
A memory, good
or bad, connected
to a specific food
Something you
found that was
wonderful or a
bargain you got
A time when you
were treated
unfairly
A birthstoryyours, or someone
else’s
Select “a time I could have been
killed
You can write about 40 words per minute
 Write for 5 minutes
 Put your name on the top
 Be sure it is not so private that it can’t be
shared (you may have to read it out loud
or someone else may be reading it)

Secret #1
Start in the Middle of the Action
Jurassic Park
Don’t start with the detailsHere is DNA, in blood of mosquito, trapped
in amber, cloned, put into a park
Instead: Show some action like the
Tyrannosaurus Rex chasing someone or
eating
something
we can only
partially see
Air Force One
Not- The president has been
in
Europe and is on his way
home
in Airforce One
 But- Night raid on a place where there
are hostages

Grade 6 Birth Story


My Mom and Dad were off to the hospital
that I was born in called Lutheran Medical
Centre. It was December 5th, 1996. The
hospital was in Denver, Colorado. My
parents entered the hospital at 3 in the
afternoon and I was born shortly before
midnight.
During the birth there were many
complications. The first problem with me
was that the umbilical cord was wrapped
around my neck.
Final Grade 6 story
“ Get a clamp.” Dr. Hill shouted frantically,
“the cord has broken and I can’t stop the
bleeding!” The nurses moved about
nervously trying to save the baby’s life.
The cord was finally clamped and the
baby was passed to the mother for her to
hold for a minute before being whisked
away.
 When I was born my umbilical cord was
wrapped around my neck.

Author’s Club Suggestions
What we really liked about your piece
was...
 Our suggested opening is...
 Our suggested places
for 3 quotations are...

Author’s Club Steps
Students sit in groups of 4.
The
piece they look at is
NOT from
their group.
 Teach a mini lesson
 Each group reads from their
assigned piece, following
directions from the lesson
they
actually write changes.
 The authors join the group and listen to
feedback. They do NOT have to use it.
 Authors share what they learned with others.

Angelo Le Frog’s Plot Outline

Angelo has been born with short
back legs; he can’t jump 20 times
his length.

Consequences: vulnerable to
predators, unattractive to girls

Tries several things, including
pogo sticks, stretchers, power
thrusters, and finally has surgery
The Statistic


Start your story with a statistic that will interest your reader (when
this is fictional you can make it up)
Eight out of 10 frogs never make it from the
tadpole stage to the mating stage, and for a
while it looked like I would be one of them.
The Question
A question gets the reader thinking about
the problem your story might have.
 Have you ever had the feeling that life was
passing you by? That no matter how hard
you tried you just couldn’t keep up? My
name is Angelo LeFrog and that had been my
feeling ever since, as a tadpole, I grew hind
legs that were just too small.

The Hook
A statement about the possible
future consequences of the
character’s actions “hooks” the
interest of the reader.
 I knew that when I turned on the power
thrusters I might be sorry for the rest of
my life- and that it might be a rather
short
one.

The Quotation

A quotation starts your story in
lively way.
a

“Look out, move back, I think he’s going to
crash into something,” was the last thing I
heard as I turned on my power thrusters. My
name is Angelo LeFrog...
The Character

Introduce an interesting character and
your reader wants to know more.

If Angelo LeFrog had only been smooth
skinned, deep green, witty, smart and as
handsome as a frog can be, it might not have
mattered that his back legs were only a little
bit bigger than his front legs.
Words of Wisdom

Play the writing game with fear and arrogance.
If you want to: -get high marksplease your teacher
-Be an award winning writerplease yourself
-Be a GREAT writerplease your reader!
Secret #2
Characters Live in a Setting
Don’t write a description
 Have your characters walk around in it,
touch it, use it

Bringing a setting to life

NOT- the heavy marble table dominated the
room

BUT- Angela edged carefully around the huge
marble table in the centre of the room, and as she
leaned up against it she felt a chill run down her
spine from the cold surface.
Stay with what the character knows

The age, experience, and knowledge of your
characters will affect how they respond to a
space
A fisherman’s son
on the beach

Jon trudged across the sand, naturally seeking the
hard packed area. Shading his eyes to scan the
waves, he stepped over a half-buried piece of
driftwood, automatically avoiding the ridge of
rotting kelp washed ashore. The sky was turning
grey, and the wind, straight off the water, meant
there would be a storm tonight. He was relieved
to see the dot of his father’s boat heading in. The
terns and petrels wheeled overhead, screaming
their quarrels.
A city kid on the same beach

Andrew clutched his ars about him
as the freezing wind blew off the
water in the late afternoon. Head
down, he tripped(again) over a
half-buried piece of driftwood and
almost stumbled into a pile of
stinking seaweed. Those birds
overhead sounded like they might
let loose on him. His new Doc
Martens were soaked through. So
much for the ‘romance’ of the sea.
Reflect the character in the setting

How the character feels will influence
how he or she responds to the
environment
Spunky Jesse in Scotland on the
moors

Across the yellow blossoming gorse, and
up the rolling hill, Jess could see a tumble
of stones on the next ‘tor’ as her
guidebook called it. Flicking dandelions
with her walking stick, Jesse headed up
the hill towards the ruins. She admired
the lichen-covered granite boulders and
the mushrooms clustered in fairy circles
near rotting logs. The shrill falcon’s cry
was a long way from Mrs. Crunchley’s
grade 5 class.
Lost frightened Lynne in Scotland
on the moors

Lynne’s ankles were sore where they had
been rubbed raw by her new hiking boots
and the rocks that had looked so much
like a cottage were just rocks-from some
kind of collapsed tower. The granite
boulders covered with lichen looked like
leaning gravestones. Mushrooms, possibly
poisonous, clustered on a rotting stump.
It was deathly quiet except for the
sudden shrill cry of a bird. Close to tears,
Lynne imagined it was a vulture waiting
to pick at her dead white bones.
We think differently
Find some pictures in National Geographic to give
your students. Give them a copy to inspire them.
 Put your two characters in the scene to walk
around.
 Provide your characters with a problem
 Have your characters respond two entirely different
ways to the same problem

Lost
“We’re lost,” he said. “It’s hopeless.
We’ll never make it.”
 “We can do anything.” she
responded. “We’re champions.
Champions never say it’s hopeless.”
 “OK, it’s not hopeless. It’s
completely ghastly, critically
dangerous, not to say desperate.”
 “Buck up,” she said. “Champions
don’t whine.”

Assign one setting, make me
see two characters:
Cloakroom poem









Slipping into the cloakroom, eyes downcast
Clutching her denim backpack against her thin chest,
Glancing up from under long brown fringes,
Jostled by other students arriving,
Slipped one arm unobtrusively out of the faded blue
parka.
Turned, “Sorry”, as ginger freckles bumped her arm
Slides her other arm free
Silently reaching up to place the parka securely on the
hook
And silently, gently, head down, enters the classroom
Assign one setting make
me see 2 charactersCloakroom poem








Into the cloakroom, head turned to laugh at
friends behind,
Bumping, “Oops”, and giggling again
Head back, curls bouncing, eyes shining with
delight
Shrugging shoulders out of her suede green
anorak
Dropped to the ground, “Oops, clumsy me,”
laughing again
Dropping to her knee,”Look out! Look out!”
with glee
And rising, smile in place, drops the parka on
the hook
And happily, “Let’s see what’s happening,”
enters the classroom.
Assign one setting, make me see
two characters in that setting-ideas

Two children learning to
ride a bike

Two students in the library

Two schoolyard lunches
Words of Wisdom:You get good at
what you do a lot of.


People always told me that my natural ability
and good eyesight were the reasons for my
success.
They never talked about the practice, practice,
practice.
Secret #3- Slam Dunk
Echo creates a powerful
ending

Create a line
◦ The tigers danced.
Try to create a metaphorical feeling.
The sinuous tigers danced the dance of
whispering grass, the murmuring stream, and the
rumbling thunder.
At the end, repeat the imagery with a variation
The grass still whispers. The stream murmurs
still, and deep in the mountains the thunder
rumbles-but the sinuous tigers, they no longer
dance.
A second sample
Line: Jesse was spunky and would bounce
back from problems.
 Metaphor- Jesse was a basketball, curvy,
strong and ready to bounce back.
 Close: Jesse was happy. She like being
curvy. She loved being strong. And
problems were something to bounce back
from.

I am the Mummy Heb-Nefert

I am the mummy
Heb Nefert
black as night,
stretched as tight
as leather on a drum...
Once I was the daughter
of a nomarch,
favored, beautiful,
but all things change.
I am the Mummy-Ending

I am the mummy
Heb-Nefert,
black as night,
stretched as tight
as leather on a drum.
Once I was beautiful.
Chicken Sunday-opening

She had a voice like
slow thunder and
sweet rain.
(paragraph 2)
Chicken Sunday-Close

Sometimes, when we
are especially quiet
inside, we can hear
singing. A voice that
sounds like slow
thunder and sweet rain.
(last paragraph)
Words of Wisdom

The creative geniuses of art,
writing, and science work
obsessively.

They do not lounge under
apple trees waiting for an
apple to fall or for lightning
to strike.
Secret #4

Generalize to a life lesson
Cinderella’s Rat
Opening....
 I was born a rat.
I
expected to be a rat all my
days.
But
life is full of surprises.
 Closing...
 Life is full of surprises, so
you might as well get used
to it.

Secret #5

Let your characters duel.
The character duels

He lightly balanced on his feet,
still strong, barely feeling the
pain of the slash to his left arm.
The hot blood dripped slowly.
Squinting into the sun he
gritted his teeth and once again
raised his rapier. He swallowed
hard and felt his hand, slippery
with sweat on the leather hilt
behind the guard, but with no
other option he touched his
opponents blade and resolutely
began again.
Shy Old fashioned woman vs middle
aged biker

Describe them arriving at a wedding and
going up the steps of the church (use all
five senses-taste, touch, smell, sight,
sound)
Secret #6

Let ‘em rant
Sailor with Explorer

I should have taken a different
job. We haven’t seen land for
days, just endless waves. Birds
don’t even fly out this far from
land. Our drinking water is
disgusting-we have to push the
scum aside. The food is down to
salted fish and hard tack-and my
teeth are already feeling loose.
And the worst thing is, we don’t
know if it will ever end. We’re
going to Asia? Every sailor
knows it’s the other way.
Fairy Godmother Rant

Sometimes I don’t know why I even try.
There I was, just sitting around in the clouds,
planning on having a bagel with some
Philadelphia cream cheese, when I heard my
godchild Cinderella sobbing in the cinders.
One of the things I have always wondered
about her is, “Why does she sit in the
cinders? It’s messy and dirty.” Anyways, even
though I had been looking forward to my
bagel, I popped right on down.
Fairy Godmother
cont.
So I understood the problem right away. The
stepsisters have ruined her dress and she can’t go
to the ball, blah, blah, blah. Well my wand wasn’t
really charged up for this much work, but if I do say
so myself, I conjured up an amazing dress. The
problem was that the magic would expire at
midnight.
 I warned her, and I don’t want to complain, but I
think she is quite vain. She was smiling at her
reflection in the glass slippers and I was pretty sure
she wasn’t paying attention to my warning.

Fairy Godmother End



When I think back on it, I should have zapped
her to the ball, but no. I had to go showing off
and creating a coach, a coachman, and a
footman from a pumpkin, a rat and some mice.
Of course, they were REALLY annoyed, and I
am scheduled for a hearing before the Rat and
Mice Rodents’ Union, so, what I mean is, you
always end up paying for it later when you do
something too quickly.
Sometimes I don’t know why I even try.
Try these
The disgruntled tooth
fairy
 The young bee (or ant
or butterfly or salmon)
complains
 The dwarf mentions
that their house has
been taken over by
Sleeping Beauty

Secret #7
Vary
your sentences
Varying sentences

Round octopus eyes
stared blankly. Like a
sagging belly, the body
expanded and
contracted with each
breath. Undulating arms
curled and uncurled
lazily. Beckoning
delicately, the little white
suckers flashed as each
arm rolled.
How to...
Take one paragraph
 Count the number of words in each sentence.
Make some longer and some shorter.
 Underline all the subjects and verbs. Change the
sentence so that sometimes the subject and verb
is near the beginning and other times later in the
sentence.
 Create subordinate clauses to join sentences
together as needed.

◦ Although the octopus was 10 feet long from tip of
arm to the head, it could squeeze itself under a rock.
Words of Wisdom

In Composing, as a general
rule, run your pen through
every second word- you
have no idea how much it
will improve your style.
◦ Sydney Smith author
Secret #8

The metaphor is more powerful than the
simile
My bird hands peck across the piano keys, delicately stepping
sideways, now scampering, now pausing to dig out a wormy note,
back and forth across the piano lawn, then, released at last, soaring
out to the baseball field.

Comparison

The Proficient Teacher uses metaphor to
help students understand concepts and
encourages students to do so as well.
◦ Charlotte Danielson, Enhancing Professional
Practice
Comparison

Identifying SIMILARITIES and
DIFFERENCES can result in a
45% gain in student achievement.
◦ Robert Marzano, Classroom
Instruction that Works
Simple Sample

As spikey as a pineapple
Rough as a Stone Wall
Bumpy like the road
Pointed like a spike
A cone spiralling up and up
Stripey as toothpaste
It
is like an ice cream cone at the seaside.
◦ Grade 3, Private Eye
Metaphor conversion
My shell is pineapple
spiky
 Stone wall rough
 Road Bumpy
 Spike pointed
 An up up spiral cone
 Toothpaste stripey
 A delicious seashore
 Ice Cream cone

Benjamin Franklin







The body of B. Franklin, printer
an old book cover
Its contents torn out
And stripped of its lettering and gilding
Lies
here, food for worms.
But the work shall not be lost
For it will (as he believ’d) appear once more
In a new and more elegant edition
Revised and corrected,
By the author
Martin Luther King
We have a power
 Greater than guns
 Greater than ammunition
 Greater than hand grenades
 We have a power.

Secret to Comparison-fast

Step 1
◦ Open with your two things you will be comparing

Step 2
◦ Similarities (2-3 sentences)

Step 3
◦ Differences (2-3 sentences)

Step 4
◦ Conclude- more similar or more different

Step 5
◦ Rewrite the opening and closing to grab the reader
Explorers vs Astronauts
Think categories
Food
Ship
Funding
Danger
Words of Wisdom
Writing quality is like water glass. A
so-so piece is like a jam jar-hit it with
your fingernail and you get an
uninspiring “tung” sound
 A good piece of writing-like a well
blown piece of glass, produces a
pleasing “tang”
 But a beautiful Waterford Crystal piece
of writing, beautifully created, when all
the molecules march in step, and the
stars align, gives you an unmistakable
awe inspiring “ting”

Secret #9

If you used an adverb, you needed a
stronger verb
Stronger verbs
Walk slowly
or...
 Amble
 Stroll
 Meander
 Dawdle
 Ramble

Run quickly
or...
-Charge
-Fly
-Scamper
-Gallop
Running around ABC

Interesting verbs describing motion of the
feet-such as run or walk
A
B
C
D
E
F
G
H
I
J
K
L
M
N
O
P
Q
R
S
T
U
V
W
X
Y
Z
Running around ABC






Interesting verbs describing
motion of the feet- such as run
or walk
A- amble, ambulate, ascend
B-bound, bounce, boogie, bob
C-creep, crawl, climb, careen,
clamber, canter, cruise, cavort,
caper
D-dance, drag, dash, dart, descend
E-elude, evade, enter
Eating ABC






Interesting verbs describing
eating-such as chew or swallow
A-attack
B-bite, browse, break (bread)
C-chew, chomp, champ, crunch,
crush, consume, cram,
chow(down)
D-devour, dine, digest, dig (in),
drink
E-eat, envelop
Secret #10

Blank Mind- Try reversing
Reversing
The Salmon and the Environment or
How to Destroy the Salmon
A Modest Proposal

I have been assured by a very knowing
American of my acquaintance in London, that
a young healthy child, well nursed, is at a year
old, a most delicious, nourishing, and
wholesome food, whether stewed, roasted,
baked or broiled...

Jonathan Swift, 1729, Gullivers Travels- For
preventing the Children of Poor People in
Ireland from being a burden to their
parents or their country, and for making
them beneficial to the public
How to destroy the Salmon

From time before time, the Haida
seemed to instinctively recognize
the evil that is the salmon- you can
see it in their carvings. The
important thing in our modern
times is to identify the best ways
to wipe out
this ancient
scourge.
More Salmon




1. Chop down the trees so that spawning beds
silt over.
2. Allow chemical and fertilizer runoff into the
streams to upset the water balance. Repeat
with the effluent of untreated sewage.
3. Place dams on the river. With them build few
and inadequate fish ladders.
4. Allow extensive legal and illegal fisheries in
the rivers, particularly in the eddy where fish
rest before they proceed.
More Salmon



5. Put fish farms with lice at the entrance to
the rivers in order to infect the fingerlings
who do make it to the sea
6. Send deep sea boats to run giant fish nets
out at sea to scoop up anything passing by
While we have been implementing these 6
steps for some time, the salmon still survive,
although weakened. We must redouble our
efforts.
Other possibilities
10 reasons not to go with Columbus
 10 reasons to kill the first white people you
saw land
 10 ways to get killed at the Fraser River gold
rush
 Eliminating the scourge of the bee... (frog,
mosquito etc)
 The return of the hunter gatherer: 10 ways to
avoid developing a civilization
 8 ways Spartans are better than Athenians

The End