Unexpected Guests
Part Four: An Unlikely Candidate
By Remy Diederich
Cedarbrook Church
12.21.14
Outline:
1. The first Christmas was chaotic, messy, and scandalous.
2. Joseph was the obvious choice for the bloodline, but God chose Judah.
3. Judah’s Hall of Shame:
a. sold Joseph into slavery.
b. lied to his father.
c. married a Canaanite woman.
d. lied to Tamar
e. hired a “prostitute.”
f. Planned to kill Tamar
4. Tamar’s story challenges our quickness to judge people by their actions.
5. Jesus came to include messy people into his family.
Going Deeper:
Use the following questions for reflection or to discuss with family, friends and/or your small
group.
1. How hard do you work at making Christmas perfect? What does that look like for you?
2. Why do we “sanitize” Christmas, that is, take away the mess and chaos?
3. How does that diminish the story of Christmas?
4. Joseph was a hero but he was bypassed for Judah, a washout. How do you feel about
that? What is God telling us?
5. Here’s the really hard question: How do you feel about Tamar prostituting herself in
order to have a child? The key to answering this question is to look at it through ancient
eyes.
6. Read 1 Samuel 16:7. How does this relate to Tamar?
7. Religious people are often quick to judge hearts based on behavior. How can you apply
lessons from Tamar to situations today?
8. How can you apply these lessons to yourself? What would Matthew want you to know
about your past failures and indiscretions?
Message:
The way we approach Christmas makes me smile because we always try to make Christmas so
neat, pretty, and predictable, don’t we?
We want to make sure our decorations are perfect, and our food is perfect. We like to sing our
favorite carols. We want our family wearing their best and looking nice. We want everyone on
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their best behavior with no family drama, right? And, if there can be a light dusting of snow,
that’s always a nice touch.
But there wasn’t much that was neat or pretty on the night Jesus was born. I think we know that,
but we like to pretend that “all was calm, all was bright.” The truth is, the first Christmas was
chaotic, messy, and even scandalous. In fact, one of the problems early Christians had to address
was the rumor that Mary and Joseph were intimate before marriage and Jesus was their
illegitimate son. I realize that doesn’t fit well with our tidy Christmas story, but that’s more
realistic. There was a cloud of scandal hanging over Jesus’ birth from the very beginning.
Matthew was one of Jesus’ disciples. He wrote a book about Jesus that we have in the Bible and
he addresses the scandal head on in the first chapter of his book (1:18-25). Go home and read it
for yourself. But before he addresses the scandal, he adds to it.
You’d think Matthew would want to tell the story with no scandal to prove that Jesus was
squeaky clean and you could trust him. But Matthew does just the opposite. When he relates
Jesus’ family tree, he specifically mentions four women that remind the reader of scandalous
stories in the family tree of Jesus: Tamar, Rahab, Ruth, and Uriah’s wife, Bathsheba.
A record of the genealogy of Jesus Christ the son of David, the son of
Abraham: Abraham was the father of Isaac, Isaac the father of Jacob, Jacob the father of
Judah and his brothers, Judah the father of Perez and Zerah, whose mother was
Tamar, Perez the father of Hezron, Hezron the father of Ram, …Salmon the father of
Boaz, whose mother was Rahab, Boaz the father of Obed, whose mother was Ruth,
Obed the father of Jesse, and Jesse the father of King David. David was the father of
Solomon, whose mother had been Uriah's wife, Solomon the father of Rehoboam,
Rehoboam the father of Abijah, Abijah the father of Asa, … and Jacob the father of
Joseph, the husband of Mary, of whom was born Jesus, who is called Christ. Matthew
1:1-16
Matthew didn’t have to mention these women. In fact, he seems to indict Mary by associating
her with them, as well as other men in the list. So, it seems, Matthew is making a point by
introducing these women. Let me give you an example of what I think Matthew was doing. Let’s
say I listed out the names of recent presidents:
Dwight Eisenhower, John Kennedy, Lyndon Johnson, Richard Nixon, Gerald Ford,
Jimmy Carter, Ronald Reagan, George Bush, Bill Clinton, George W. Bush, Barack
Obama.
That’s what you’d expect. Pretty straight forward. But if I wanted to question the integrity of a
couple of these men I might list the same names like this:
Dwight Eisenhower, John Kennedy – friend of Marilyn Monroe, Lyndon Johnson,
Richard Nixon, Gerald Ford, Jimmy Carter, Ronald Reagan, George Bush, Bill
Clinton, whose intern was Monica Lewinski, George W. Bush, Barack Obama,
Fitzgerald Grant, friend of Olivia Pope.
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I just threw that last one in there for those of you that know your TV shows better than your
American history.
The second version has scandal written all over it. This is how Matthew shared the genealogy of
Jesus. He purposefully mentioned questionable women that raised the eyebrows of the reader,
reminding them of some scandalous episodes in the lives of famous men. This is why this
sermon series is called “Unexpected Guests,” because some of the names from Jesus’ family
history were unexpected.
Why would Matthew go out of his way to stir the pot like this? If Mary and Joseph already had a
fire of scandal burning, why would Matthew want to throw gas on the fire? He must have had a
reason unless he just wanted to sell more books.
So far in this series we’ve looked at two of the women; Rahab and Bathsheba. Today we’re
going to look at Tamar and see what we can learn. Let me read from the genealogy:
Abraham was the father of Isaac, Isaac the father of Jacob, Jacob the father of Judah
and his brothers, Judah the father of Perez and Zerah, whose mother was
Tamar… Matthew 1:2,3
We’ll get to Tamar in a minute, but let’s start with Jacob. Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob were the
big three of the Old Testament. Some of you know this much of the genealogy. Jacob had twelve
sons: Reuben, Simeon, Levi, Dan, Naphtali, Gad, Asher, Zebulun, Joseph, and Benjamin.
Look at those names. If you know the story of these guys, which son is the obvious choice
through whom God might send his messiah? Think Broadway play. Hollywood Movie. Donny
Osmond, Dreamworks Cartoon: Joseph and the Technicolor Dreamcoat. Yes, Joseph was the
obvious choice. He was the hero of the twelve. You’d think if a movie was made about his life
that God would send the messiah through Joseph!
Joseph had a number of messiah-like qualities. His brothers threw him into a well and left him
for dead. Then he “rose from the dead” - so to speak - and ended up saving both the Egyptians
and the Israelites from a famine. Plus Joseph forgave his brothers for their sins against him.
Sounds a lot like Jesus.
But God didn’t choose Joseph to send his messiah. God chose Judah. Judah was another
unexpected guest in Jesus’ family tree. Let’s look at this again:
Jacob the father of Judah and his brothers, Judah the father of Perez and Zerah, whose
mother was Tamar… Matthew 1:2,3
If Judah beat out Joseph for the blessing, he must have been quite the guy. What did he do to
deserve the blessing? Actually…nothing. In fact, Matthew threw Judah under the bus twice in
how he related the genealogy. Maybe you didn’t notice it:
Jacob the father of Judah and his brothers, Judah the father of Perez and Zerah,
whose mother was Tamar… Matthew 1:2,3
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It’s those extra little phrases (in italics) that Matthew used to highlight the dark side of Judah’s
story. So let me tell the story.
When Matthew mentioned Judah AND HIS BROTHERS…he was reminding us that it was
Judah who recommended to his brothers that they sell Joseph to traders and tell their father he
was dead. If you read the full story you can see how responsible Judah felt for what he did. I
think he felt so guilty about it that he left his family:
Judah left his brothers and went down to stay with a man of Adullam … There Judah
met the daughter of a Canaanite man…and married her... Genesis 38:1-2
This is one of those moments in the Bible where you need to pause and put yourself in the shoes
of the character. You need to imagine what was going on in Judah’s head. To leave his family
and marry a Canaanite was a radical move, for two reasons: number one: families stuck together.
They lived a stones throw from each other. So why would Judah move unless there was a
problem?
Plus, Jews didn’t marry Canaanites. Canaanites were idol-worshippers. So I have to imagine that
Judah moved because he felt awful for betraying both Joseph and his father. He brought shame
and dishonor to his father’s name and so his answer was to banish himself from the family. He
married a Canaanite because he gave up on himself. He didn’t even try to keep up the image any
more.
Judah tries to start a new life. Let’s see how he does. Judah and his wife had three sons: Er,
Onan, and Shelah. And then it says:
Judah got a wife for Er, his firstborn, and her name was Tamar. Genesis 38:6
So here we meet Tamar. But…this is a little confusing. Does anyone see the problem? Matthew
said that Judah and Tamar had a child. But here Tamar was Judah’s daughter-in-law. What’s
wrong with this picture? This is where the scandal comes in.
Tamar married Judah’s oldest son. But he died. So, according to Jewish law, Tamar married
Judah’s second son. But he died too. Judah told Tamar she could live with his family and
promised Tamar that she could marry his third son when he was old enough. But the truth is:
Judah thinks Tamar is bad luck. He thinks she caused his sons death. Judah never intended on
letting his third son marry Tamar.
When it dawns on Tamar that she’ll remain a widow and never bear children, she takes matters
into her own hands.
Now, about that time Judah takes a trip. His wife just died, so he travels to a party with his
shepherds. When he travels through a town he comes across a prostitute and he hires her. It’s
dark and she’s veiled, so he doesn’t get a good look at her. You can read the whole story in
Genesis 38. When it comes time for payment he promises her a goat, but she wants some kind of
guarantee, so he gives her his staff and his ring.
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When he gets back home he sends a servant to give the prostitute the goat. But she’s not there
and no one knows anything about her. The locals say they don’t have a prostitute in their town.
That’s kind of odd, but Judah forgets about her. Fast forward three months…it’s suddenly
obvious that Tamar is pregnant. Her family is outraged. She’s not married. Clearly she has
shamed the family by having an illicit affair, so they do what every noble Middle East family did
back then, they plan to kill her.
About three months later Judah was told, "Your daughter-in-law Tamar is guilty of
prostitution, and as a result she is now pregnant." Judah said, "Bring her out and have
her burned to death!" Genesis 38:24
Tamar dishonored the family and Judah is furious. In his mind, and the mind of the community,
the only way to clear his good name is to have her killed. This is what’s called an honor killing
today. It still happens.
Let me read an excerpt from a recent article from the Washington Post on honor killings:
…honor killings claim the lives of more than 1,000 Pakistani women every
year, according to a Pakistani rights group… One man in Punjab
province suspected his teenage nieces of having “inappropriate relations” with two
boys. So on Jan. 11, he killed both girls, confessed and said he did it for “honor.”
Another teenage girl, living in Sukkur, was allegedly shot dead by her brother while
she was doing homework because her brother thought she was sleeping with a man.
One mom and dad allegedly killed their 15-year-old daughter with acid because they
said she looked at a boy and they “feared dishonor.” May 28, 2014, Washington Post,
So Judah and his family are ready to do the same thing to Tamar to preserve the integrity of their
name. The irony of it is that Judah is the one who has dishonored the family. Not only did he
have sex with, what he thought was, a prostitute. He lied to Tamar about marrying Judah’s third
son.
But Tamar had an ace up her sleeve…or more accurately, a ring and a staff:
As she was being brought out, she sent a message to her father-in-law. "I am pregnant
by the man who owns these," she said. And she added, "See if you recognize whose
ring and staff these are." Judah recognized them and said, "She is more righteous than
I, since I wouldn't give her to my son Shelah." Genesis 38:25.26
This is such an interesting story because Tamar plays a prostitute but she’s presented as the hero
of the story. Chew on that for a while. That will really mess with your theology. She’s the one
who was willing to do whatever it took to have a child and God used her natural desire to extend
the line of Judah. In Genesis 49 Jacob blesses Judah with the promise that God’s messiah will
come from him. This wouldn’t have happened if it wasn’t for Tamar.
I love this story because it challenges our tendency to judge someone by their outward actions.
We might be quick to brand this woman a disgusting prostitute. But God looked past her
behavior and looked on her heart. God saw that she was a woman with the heart of a mother,
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living under an unjust patriarchal system that thought nothing of betraying women and even
killing them if it made them look good.
Judah, on the other hand, proves to be a failure…again. I wonder how Judah felt. This was the
second time in his life where he had totally failed his family. Judah was a royal screw-up, a
washout for God. Have you ever tried to restart your life and then you blew it the second time
just as bad as the first? That’s what Judah did.
But Judah had a redeemable quality. He took responsibility for his mistakes. He did it with his
father regarding Joseph, and he does it here too. Judah recognized them and said, "She is more
righteous than I, since I wouldn't give her to my son Shelah." Genesis 38:26
Judah is quick to admit his wrong and refuses to condemn Tamar, even though his community
would have fully supported him. And he had a lot to admit: he sold Joseph into slavery, lied to
his father, married a Canaanite woman, lied to Tamar, hired a “prostitute,” planned to kill Tamar.
This is a messy story. Why did Matthew have to mention Tamar? He could have so easily
skipped over her name and no one would have given it a second thought. It really messes with
our nice and neat Christmas, doesn’t it? Who wants to hear that a sex scandal is part of the
Christmas story? But Matthew knew what he was doing. Matthew had to mention Tamar and
Juday because it’s the unexpected guests in this line up that make his point. Mentioning Tamar
drew out the scandal. It drew attention to our humanity and why we need a Savior.
So, when Matthew lists the names of Jesus’ family he makes sure we remember all the mess and
failure. It’s not squeaky clean. Matthew wants us to know that Jesus came to save broken messy
people…just like the people in Jesus’ family. Men and women. Jew and Canaanite. Good and
evil. We all need saving. And thankfully, no one’s dark side disqualifies them from God. No sin
is outside of God’s forgiveness. And God can bless people, like Judah, even though they keep
messing up.
You know, I can’t leave this story without pointing out the obvious. Each of the four women in
this genealogy was associated with a sex scandal. I’m sure they felt branded and disqualified
because of their past. Religious people often make sexual sin out to be the worst possible thing.
They make people feel dirty and disqualified from being used by God. But these four women
prove that’s wrong. So I think Matthew is saying, Look, God is bigger than our scandals. God
has never been limited by scandal. If you’ve been touched by God’s forgiveness, it doesn’t
matter what’s in your past. God isn’t fazed by it. He can handle anything you’ve done, and still
use you.
Matthew wants you to know that Jesus came to rescue you from your past. God sent a savior to
cleanse you from bad choices and give you a fresh start. So if your life is less than perfect today,
if your story is complicated, if there’s more chaos in your life right now than peace and joy, and
maybe even some scandal, then you qualify to be in Jesus’ family. Jesus came into the world to
welcome unexpected guests like you.
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If you want a start over, only this time with God at the center of your life, then I want to invite
you to pray this pray with me:
Jesus, thank you for coming into the world to rescue me from my sin and failure. Thank
you for forgiving me of my past and being willing to use me like Judah, in spite of myself.
I invite you to come into my life by your Spirit. Fill me up, change me into your likeness,
show me the path to follow, and use me to promote your purposes in this world.
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