Discuss the role of communication in
maintaining relationships
Bradbury and Fincham (1990)
• Meta-analysis of
research on attributions
in married couples.
Bradbury and Fincham (1990)
Happy Couples…..
• Spouses in happy
relationships tended to focus
on their partner’s positive
behavior as part of the
person’s character.
• They were more likely to
make attributions that locate
the cause of
– positive events to dispositional
factors in the partner (i.e.
positive things happen because
of the partner)
– negative events to situational
factors (i.e. the partner is not
to blame).
Bradbury and Fincham (1990)
Unhappy Couples….
• Spouses in unhappy
relationships tended to see
their partner’s negative
behavior as part of his or her
character and downplay the
partner’s positive behavior.
• They were more likely to make
attributions that locate the
cause of
– positive events to situational
factors (i.e. positive events do
not happen because of the
partner)
– negative events to dispositional
factors (i.e. the partner is to
blame).
You will have a conversation with
someone of the same gender about a
personal problem or issue in your life.
Tannen (1990)
• Women self-disclose
(share inner
thoughts/feelings) more
than men  selfpenetration
• Women likelier to
respond to others’
negative feelings
w/understanding; men
offer advice for solving
problems (EX: weight
gain)
Gendered Responses
• Women use more
overlapping speech
• Men interrupt & change
topic more
• Women = more inclusive;
ask for opinion
• Men may feel
unsupported by women’s
sympathetic response
Conflict?
• Conflict is inevitable.
• It is how you handle the
conflict that makes the
difference!!!
Gottman and Krokoff (1989)
• The researchers compared
data from two longitudinal
observational studies of
couples.
• The couples were observed
in their home and in a
laboratory discussion either
on a low conflict or a highconflict issue.
• Conflict was only seen as a
negative sign if couples could
not resolve it constructively.
Gottman and Krokoff (1989)
• Results showed that
expressions of anger and
disagreement were not
necessarily associated with
marital dissatisfaction over
time.
• Couples who solved their
conflict with mutual
satisfaction were more
satisfied with their
relationship.
Gottman and Krokoff (1989)
• Couples who avoided
conflict were less
satisfied.
• According to the
researchers this is
because the couples do
not have the opportunity
to experience that they
can solve conflicts
together.
Gottman and Krokoff (1989)
• Three specific
dysfunctional
communication
patterns
(defensiveness,
stubbornness, and
withdrawal from
interaction) were
reliably associated
with marital
dissatisfaction over
time.
Gottman’s theory of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse
Communication that predicts marital dissatisfaction
1. Criticism:
• Making dispositional
attributions (e.g.
attacking the partner’s
personality or character
with the intent of
making the partner
wrong).
Gottman’s theory of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse
Communication that predicts marital dissatisfaction
2. Contempt:
• Attacking the partner’s
sense of self with the
intention to insult or
psychologically abuse
him or her (e.g.
hostility, sarcasm,
mockery).
Gottman’s theory of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse
Communication that predicts marital dissatisfaction
3. Defensiveness:
• Seeing yourself as a
victim (e.g. making
excuses by referring to
factors out of your
control, crosscomplaining – listening
to your partner’s
complaint but returning
it with a complaint of
your own).
Gottman’s theory of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse
Communication that predicts marital dissatisfaction
4. Stonewalling:
• Withdrawing from
the relationship as a
way to avoid (e.g. by
silent treatment,
monosyllabic
response, or
changing the
subject.