Bell Ringer #4
• Textbook page 232
• List and describe the 8 keys to planning
for a successful future.
Family Life Education
RELATIONSHIPS (CONTINUED)
Developing Skills to Prepare for
Marriage
• Predict Success
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Age - similar age, more success
Reasons - right or wrong reasons to get married
Length of relationship/engagement before marriage
Similar attitudes - children, etc.
Similar interests - hobbies, etc.
Commitment to sexual fidelity - only one
Good character
Parents’ success at marriage
Parents’ attitude toward potential partner
Careful selection of marriage partner
The Marriage Commitment
• Marriage partners must be committed to
actions that honor their wedding vows.
• Marriage partners must work together to
master the developmental stages of
marriage.
The Major Tasks of the Five
Stages of Marriage
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The first 2 years
The 3rd through 10th
The 11th through 25th
The 26th through 35th
The 36th on
First 2 Yrs.
• Strive to:
– Maintain individual identity at the same time
as they form a family
– Develop cooperation, reduce need for control
– Develop a sexual bond
– Develop an effective decision-making style
– Recognize difficulties in parents’ marriages
and anticipate how they may affect your
marriage
3rd through 10th
• Goals:
– Recognize and confront weaknesses in each
other
– Examine and avoid dysfunctional behaviors
– Reaffirm commitment to sexual intimacy,
including sexual fidelity (one partner)
– Examine the influence of children on marriage
and to agree upon child raising methods.
11th through 25th
• Recognize needs to:
– Reexamine and maintain individual identity and
develop mutual dependence
– Recognize that one another will not be perfect
– Forgive one another for shortcomings and mistakes
– Confront the crises of middle age, including aging,
sexuality, and job/financial security
– Reevaluate and make a plan for maintaining and
developing intimacy
26th through 35th
• Be determined to:
– Reevaluate the tasks from the previous
stages and determine if they have been
successfully mastered
– Recognize the physical changes that
accompany aging and affect sexuality and to
rekindle romance
– Grieve over losses such as death of parents
and children leaving home
36th year on…
• Agree to:
– Prepare for retirement
– Renew intimacy and develop ways to
continue sexual intimacy
– Prepare for death and for the death of the
marriage partner
– Accept death as a stage of life
8 Developmental Tasks of
Adolescence
• These are achievements that need to be
mastered to become a responsible,
independent adult.
1. Develop Healthful Friendships with Members of Both
Sexes
• Healthful friendships involve mutual respect,
flexibility, trust, honesty, and the opportunity to
share feelings.
• You can learn how to communicate effectively,
cooperate, and resolve conflict.
• These skills will help you in the workplace and if
you marry.
• Friends provide support and companionship
throughout life.
2. Become Comfortable with your
Maleness/Femaleness
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Develop your own sex role
Participate in a variety of social activities
Consider what you expect males to be like
Consider what you expect females to be like
Discuss unrealistic, uncertain, or uncomfortable
expectations about sex roles with a responsible
adult, such as a parent or guardian
3. Become Comfortable with your Body
• During adolescence, you must become
comfortable with the ways in which your body
changes.
• You must develop a positive body image (your
perception of your own appearance)
• Being proud that your body is male or female is
an important part of developing healthy sexuality
4. Become Emotionally Independent from Adults
• Your parents or guardians have provided for you
throughout adolescence. They have shielded
you and helped to sort out things.
• As an adult, you can still stay close with them
• However, the balance of responsibility now starts
to shift to you
• You can still ask for feedback but must become
responsible for yourself and independent
5. Learn Skills Needed to Later Marry or Become
a Parent
• Continue to learn about intimacy and selfdisclosure
• Intimacy - a deep and meaningful sharing
• Self-disclosure - the act of making thoughts and
feelings known to another person
• These will allow you to get closer to another
person
• Also, practice relating to infants and children.
You can learn skills that will help you if you
become a parent.
6. Prepare for a Career
• During adolescence, you gain skills and
knowledge about yourself to help you prepare
for a career
• Consider what you want to do and what income
you will need to be secure
• Maybe you need to continue your education in
college or vocational school
• Make careful selections when planning your high
school courses
• Talk to adults in careers that interest you, and
look into gaining experience in those fields
7. Have a Clear Set of Values to Guide your
Behavior
• As you mature, values must be in your heart, as
well as your brain
• Identify what you want to stand for
• You must believe in these values and want them
to guide your behavior
• You must practice these values because you
believe in them
• Examine whether your behavior is consistent
with the values you say are important to you
8. Understand and Achieve Socially Responsible
Behavior
• To be a responsible adult, you must have
a social conscience
• Social conscience - a desire to contribute,
positively, to society and to live a
responsible life
• Look for ways to help out with others
Why Teen Marriage is Risky
• Teen marriages are risky because they
don’t have time enough to work on the 8
developmental tasks of adolescence.
END OF DAY 4
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