Becoming a
Covenant
Marriage
Church
Super Saturday 2003
q
Identify 5 unhealthy
reasons people marry?
q
Identify 5 healthy reasons
people marry?
Why do people marry?
Super Saturday 2003
A Christian Marriage Is…
a total commitment of two people to the
person of Jesus Christ and each other. It is a
commitment in which there is no holding back of
anything.
a school, a learning and growing
environment in which (if everything is as it should
be) both partners can grow and develop. The
relationship grows along with them.
H. Norman Wright
Super Saturday 2003
What Does a Covenant Marriage
Church Affirm?
Believing that marriage is a covenant
intended by God to be a lifelong fruitful
relationship between a man and a woman,
we vow to God, each other, our family, and
our community to remain steadfast in
unconditional love, reconciliation, and
sexual purity while purposefully growing in
our covenant marriage relationship.
Super Saturday 2003
What does your
church believe
about marriage?
Super Saturday 2003
What does
your church
do to
strengthen
marriages?
Super Saturday 2003
A Holistic
Approach
To
Marriage
Ministry
Super Saturday 2003
Outreach
Prevention
Health
Intervention
Enrichment
Did You Know
The federal government issues thousands of
reports on nearly every dimension of American
life,…But it provides no annual index or report on
the state of marriage.
Americans today tend to see marriage as a
couples relationship, designed to fulfill the
emotional needs of adults…People now expect
their marriages to be a spiritualized union of
souls.
The State of Our unions 2003
The National Marriage Project
Super Saturday 2003
Did You Know
Marriage is a fundamental social institution. It is
central to the nurture and raising of children. It is
the “social glue” that reliably attaches fathers to
children. It contributes to the physical,
emotional and economic health of men, women
and children, and thus to the nation as a whole.
It is also one of the most highly prized of all
human relationships and a central life goal of
most Americans.
The State of Our unions 2003
The National Marriage Project
Super Saturday 2003
Did You Know
About a third of all children and more than twothirds of African-American children are born out
of wedlock.
Since 1960, there has been an 850 percent
increase in the number of cohabiting couples
who live with children.
Roughly a million children each year experience
parental divorce and its aftermath.
The State of Our unions 2003
The National Marriage Project
Super Saturday 2003
Did You Know
Compared to married fathers, men who are not
married to their children’s mothers are
significantly less likely to be consistently and
positively involved with their children during their
growing up years.
In reality, marriage is the social glue that holds
fathers to their offspring. Marriage encourages
regular and routine father involvement.
The State of Our unions 2003
The National Marriage Project
Super Saturday 2003
Did You Know
Unmarried cohabiting fathers fail to show as
much warmth or put in as much time or money
in the care of their biological children as do
married fathers.
Cohabiting men who are living with
nonbiological children pose a risk of physical or
sexual abuse to such children.
The State of Our unions 2003
The National Marriage Project
Super Saturday 2003
Consider
…the new soul-mate ideal may create
unrealistic expectations for intimacy that, if
unfulfilled, may lead to disappointment,
estrangement and even a search for a new soul
mate.
The State of Our unions 2003
The National Marriage Project
Super Saturday 2003
How will your church
respond to couples?
•Soul-Mate Ideal
•Biblical Ideal
Super Saturday 2003
The Marriage Ministry Umbrella
Relationship
Skill
Development
Marriage
Enrichment
and
Education
Marriage
Strengthening
and
Rebuilding
Divorce
Recovery
Ministry
Premarital
Counseling
Marriage
mentoring
Children’s
Ministry
Prepare
Inventory
Paring
Newlywed
Couple with
Mentoring
Couple
Retreats
Referral List of
Local
Professional
Counselors
Divorce Care
Video Series
and Support
Group
Adolescents
FOCCUS
Inventory
Outline of
Mentor
Qualifications
Workshops
and Seminars
Retrouvaille
Retreats
KidsHope
Seminars for
Children
Young Adults
DISC
Personality
Inventory
Clear
Expectations
and Definition
of Mentor
Relationship
Enrich
Inventory
Marriage
Support Groups
and Bible Study
Groups
Single Parent
Family Ministry
Adults
Series of
Focused
Couple Sessions
Prayer
Ministry
REFOCCUS
Inventory
Sermon Series
and
Testimonies
Follow-Up
Care
Resources
Resources
Resources
Resources
Resources
Resources
Super Saturday 2003
Do You
Have a church developed and approved
marriage policy?
Do You
Provide at least 3 marriage preparation
sessions in addition to the ceremony
planning session?
Super Saturday 2003
Do You
Provide any additional follow up sessions
during the first year of the marriage?
Do You
Provide on-going prayer ministry for nearly
and newly married couples?
Super Saturday 2003
Do You
Provide a marriage mentoring
ministry for nearly and newly
married couples
Super Saturday 2003
Do You
Provide at least one annual marriage
strengthening retreat-workshop-seminar?
Do You
Provide an annual sermon series on
relationships, marriage and family?
Super Saturday 2003
Do You
Provide media resources for individuals,
couples and families: books, magazines,
tapes, videos?
Do You
Provide Bible studies for youth focusing on
relationship building, choosing a life partner,
handling emotions, marriage and family?
Super Saturday 2003
Do You
Provide marriage and family testimonies and
journey-sharing during worship services?
Do You
Have a referral network?
Super Saturday 2003
Relationship Skill Development
Couple
Closeness
Communication
Personality
Compatibility
Couple Flexibility
Sexual
Relationship
Conflict
Resolution
Leisure Activities
Financial
Management
Family
and
Friends
Spiritual Beliefs
Areas of Focus
Super Saturday 2003
Relationship Skill Development
I am very satisfied with how we
talk to each other.
Yes
No
We are creative in how we
handle our differences.
We feel very close to each
other.
Yes
No
Yes
No
My partner is seldom too
controlling.
When discussing problems, my
partner understands my
opinions and ideas.
Yes
No
Yes
No
Super Saturday 2003
Relationship Skill Development
I am completely satisfied with the
amount of affection from my
partner.
Yes
No
We have a good balance of leisure
time spent together and separately.
Yes
No
My partner’s friends or family rarely
interfere with our relationship.
Yes
No
We agree on how to spend money.
Yes
No
I am satisfied with how we express
spiritual values and beliefs.
Yes
No
Super Saturday 2003
Marriage
Mentoring
Super Saturday 2003
Marriage Mentoring
Purposes
To guide and
encourage nearly
and newly married
couples toward
healthy, growing
marriage
relationships.
Super Saturday 2003
Marriage Mentoring
Purposes
To enlist and equip select
lay couples to minister to
nearly and newly married
couples through
intentional marriage
mentoring relationships
that focus on mutual
support, growth,
encouragement and
enrichment.
Super Saturday 2003
Marriage Mentoring
Objectives
To provide a support ministry to nearly and
newly married couples in developing healthy
relational skills and in building spiritual,
emotional and physical intimacy in marriage.
To provide ongoing training to equip select
couples to serve as marriage mentors to nearly
and newly married couples.
To provide regular group meeting experiences
that focus on support, growth, enrichment and
fellowship for couples participating in the
mentoring ministry.
Super Saturday 2003
Mentors are Not
Perfect
Counselors or Therapists
Experts
Final Authorities
Rescuers
Parent Replacements
Intruders/Meddlers
Long Term
Super Saturday 2003
Mentoring
Responsibilities
Super Saturday 2003
Mentoring
Responsibilities
Walk alongside the
nearly-newly married
couple
Provide healthy,
realistic role
modeling
Super Saturday 2003
Identity Resources
Mentoring
Responsibilities
Provide male and
female
perspective
“Normalize”
disagreement and
conflict
Super Saturday 2003
Describe their own
marital journey
difficulties and solutions
discovered
Getting Started
Ask
What is God saying?
Where is God working?
Super Saturday 2003
Getting Started
Ask
What are the needs?
What are our
resources?
Super Saturday 2003
Getting Started
Ask
What are our
objectives?
How do we invite
and involve?
Super Saturday 2003
Getting Started
Ask
What actions are
taken by whom
and when?
How do we celebrate?
Super Saturday 2003
Getting Started
Ask
How do we
evaluate?
Super Saturday 2003
Covenant Marriage
Resources
www.covenantmarriage.com
Covenant Marriage Congregational Kit Available
Posters,a 38 page Congregational Booklet with information on how to
become a Covenant Marriage Congregation and how to prepare to
celebrate a Covenant Marriage Sunday in your congregation, Covenant
Certificate, Sermon & Bible study Helps, Covenant Marriage Movement
Brochures, Covenant Marriage Couple's Brochures, Facts sheets,
Commitment Cards, Bulletin Inserts, Resource Sheet/Order Form
Covenant Marriage Sunday is the
third Sunday in February
Super Saturday 2003
Becoming a
Covenant
Marriage
Church
Super Saturday 2003