Anti-Bullying Campaign
Presentation for Parents
On
Bullying
The new Anti-Bullying Procedures
and
Anti-Bullying Campaign - Presentation for Parents
The Scale of the Problem
Findings in a 2012 survey of 4,500 Irish 10-year-olds show that
12% (about three per large class) say they were bullied “about weekly”
International Association for Evaluation of Educational Achievement, led in Ireland by Dr Emer Eivers, Educational
Research Centre, St Patrick’s College, Drumcondra - (Irish Examiner, 27/12/2012)
When this problem is not dealt with effectively at primary level
it becomes even worse at second level where:
About 30% of pupils are bullied in any half-term period.
(Anti-Bullying Centre, Trinity College, Dublin, 2008).
55% of young people claim to have been bullied
(UNICEF Report: Changing the Future, 2012)
With the best of intentions previous attempts to prevent
bullying in schools were inadequate.
A new approach was needed, is now available and is mandatory.
Anti-Bullying Campaign - Presentation for Parents
All bullying behaviour has three things in
common and these enable us clearly identify it?
It is any behaviour that is (a) deliberate, (b) hurtful
and (c) repeated over time, e.g.
• Unwelcome glances, sniggering, name calling . . .
• Slagging/teasing about characteristics, background, family . . .
• Spreading rumours about someone
• Abusive telephone calls or text messages
• Putting unwelcome messages/pictures on Internet sites
• Isolation/exclusion from group activity
• Intimidation, verbal or through body language
• Physical aggression - pushing, tripping, hitting, punching . . .
• Damage to property or taking property
• Extortion of money or property
If any of these happens repeatedly to your child,
whatever else you might call it, s/he is being bullied!
Anti-Bullying Campaign - Presentation for Parents
Things that may indicate bullying:
• Anxiety about travelling to and from school, unwillingness to go to
school, refusal to attend, mitching.
• Deterioration in motivation, concentration, workrate, educational
performance or all of these.
• Changes in mood - loss of confidence, growing shyness, withdrawal.
• Unexplained changes in behaviour - stammering, displays of anger,
aggressive behaviour (towards siblings?), out of character comments.
• Pattern of physical illnesses, stomach/bowel disorders, loss of appetite,
vomiting, loss of sleep, nightmares (possibly reported by parents).
• Possessions missing or damaged, requests for (lunch) money.
• Unexplained bruising, cuts or other injury or damaged clothing.
• Reluctance/refusal to say what is troubling her/him.
Any parent who thinks any of these apply to your child should not
presume it is just “a stage s/he is at.” It may be more than that.
Anti-Bullying Campaign - Presentation for Parents
Psychological impact of bullying:
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Feelings of insecurity, nervousness
Damage to self-confidence, withdrawal
Lowering of self-esteem, unhappiness with self
Unexplained mood changes, mood swings
Behaviour changes, uncharacteristic aggression
Stress/distress, inability to cope, mitching
Extreme anxiety/panic attacks, mitching
Nervous breakdown, inability to function
Depression requiring psychiatric intervention
Self-Harm by various means including cutting
Death by Suicide
Bullied students feel hurt, humiliated and isolated and find it hard to
understand what is really happening to them or why!
Anti-Bullying Campaign - Presentation for Parents
Responding with punishment, anger
and threats can make matters worse
• Students tend to take the side of students against any adult who
threatens or resorts to punishment, even for bullying
• Punishment makes reporting of bullying by observers less likely
• Punishment can lead to a further negative backlash for the targeted
student, either from the original bullying students or from peers
• Punishment can simply lead to a change in (a) the kind of bullying,
(b) the location of bullying,
(c) the student targeted
so the bullying continues and efforts to bring it to an end fail.
If your child is being bullied you may wish to have the perpetrator
punished but this is counter-productive!
A different approach is needed.
Anti-Bullying Campaign - Presentation for Parents
Responsibility of schools
to implement the new procedures
1.3.3. All Boards of Management must formally adopt and implement an antibullying policy that fully complies with the requirements of these procedures . . .
[which] . . . require all schools to commit to these principles:
• They must foster a positive, inclusive school culture and climate at every level
• They must show effective leadership in dealing with bullying at every level
• They must adopt a school-wide approach - everyone is involved as appropriate
• They must ensure a shared understanding of bullying and its impact
• They must implement education/awareness-raising/prevention strategies
• They must ensure effective supervision and monitoring of pupils
• They must support staff in implementing these procedures
• They must ensure consistent recording and investigation and follow-up of
bullying behaviour – seeking to resolve (a “win-win” outcome) the situation
and “restore” relationships to what they were before the bullying began.
The new D.E.S. anti-bullying procedures are mandatory and
implementation will be subject to inspection from September 2014.
Anti-Bullying Campaign - Presentation for Parents
“Anti-Bullying Procedures for Primary and Post Primary Schools”
2013, under the heading “Key Principles of Best Practice,” states:
6.5.2. Effective practice includes prevention and awareness-raising
measures across all aspects of bullying.
6.8.9 School authorities must ensure that the school has clear procedures
for investigating and dealing with bullying . . .
. . . The school’s procedures must be consistent with the following
approach:
(i) The primary aim for the relevant teacher in investigating and
dealing with bullying is to resolve any issues and to restore, as
far as is practicable, the relationships of the parties involved
(rather than to apportion blame).
From September 2014 all schools must adopt an approach to bullying
that is fully compatible with all these Key Principles.
Anti-Bullying Campaign - Presentation for Parents
How to “resolve” and “restore” without
punishment - 3 effective incentives
• We explain to pupils that children sometimes bully others without thinking or
without realising the harm they are doing
• We tell them that if they know of any children, in their class or any other class, who
are doing this we need to talk to them and ask them to stop
• We do a special survey across several classes asking the children to tell us who might
be doing this - on the following basis:
If they tell us, we will talk to anyone identified to find out if it is bullying . . .
If it is, we will ask them to give us a promise that they will stop . . .
If they give us this promise and keep this promise:
a) they will not be punished (since it is over now)
b) we will not give their name to the Principal (since it is over)
c) we will not phone their parents “getting them in trouble” (since it is over)
• On this basis, for the first time, children tell us all we need to know to keep them safe
• The child is getting “one chance” (does every child not deserve this?) and if s/he
breaks the promise the Principal and parents are notified at this very “early stage”
On this basis, the children tell us all we need to know.
Nearly all pupils keep their promise so it is over – a “win-win” outcome.
Anti-Bullying Campaign - Presentation for Parents
Dealing with Bullying Situations - Summary
The Anti-Bullying Campaign response offers
a “win-win” resolution in almost all cases
In a tiny number of cases
second promise is broken Return to Ladder of Referral
Phase 2: In return for honesty
and keeping 2nd promise
pupil gets
no confidentiality
but no blame or sanction
Expulsion?
Almost all keep first or
second promise and so
avoid blame or sanction
through ladder of referral
Suspension
Meeting(s)
with parents
Contact parents
If Promise is broken
parents/staff told but still
no return to ladder of referral
Phase 1: In return for honesty
and keeping 1st promise
pupil gets
confidentiality
and no blame or sanction
Code of Behaviour
Ladder of Referral
Principal?
Deputy Principal?
Most keep first promise so
by agreement parents &
Principal do not need to
know or act
Awareness Raising Strand Ongoing Throughout School
Minor
Sanctions(s)
Warning(s)
Correction
Anti-Bullying Campaign - Overall Summary
Bullying is repeated targeted hurtful behaviour
reflecting a power imbalance between those involved
In class bullying is secretive
When teachers on yard duty
change every day they
cannot see the Repetition
that indicates “Bullying”
Pupils see all this behaviour
so we need them to report it
BUT
They don’t Recognise it
they don’t Understand it
so they don’t Report it
BUT
Punishment is an Obstacle
so they still don’t Report it
SO
Anti-Bullying Campaign - Strand 1
Raising Awareness /Understanding
Pupils Now Recognise Bullying
Pupils Now Reject Bullying
SO
Anti-Bullying Campaign - Strand 2
A “Reform, not Blame” Approach
Pupils see this as Fair and Just
Pupils Now Report the Bullying
AND
There is No Resolution
AND
AND
The bullying continues, leading
to misery, low self-esteem, depression,
self harm . . .
Our “Reform, Not Blame” Response
offers “win-win” resolution
for everyone involved
Anti-Bullying Campaign - Presentation for Parents
Responsibilities of Parents
in the new Procedures
• 6.2.5. Developing a Code of Behaviour: Guidelines for Schools, states:
“Parents should be expected to model the standards that pupils are
asked to respect.”
• 6.3.2. Parents should also recognise that . . . they need to work with their
school to ensure there is a coherent, school-wide approach.
• 6.8.9. (v) Parents and pupils are required to co-operate with any
investigation and assist the school in resolving any issues and
restoring, as far as is practicable, the relationships of the
parties involved as quickly as possible;
Parents, as well as being involved in adopting new anti-bullying
policies in schools, can support their implementation by their good
example, cooperation and vigilance in reporting bullying behaviour.
Anti-Bullying Campaign - Presentation for Parents
Benefits for Parents in the
new Procedures
The objective in following these procedures, which is achieved through their
implementation, is a “win-win” outcome for all concerned:
• A bullied pupil wins because the bullying is brought to an end,
• A bullying pupil wins because there is no punishment as long as s/he keep a
solemn promise to stop bullying,
• The observing pupils win because the anxiety they feel when observing
bullying, which they now recognise and reject as wrong, comes to an end,
• Lessons are learned about respectful behaviour by the whole school
community, a higher standard is reached and everyone can get on with
their lives.
On this basis parents benefit whether their children were bullying others,
were bullied by others or observed the bullying.
Each parent’s initial wish in relation to the bullying is fulfilled.
Anti-Bullying Campaign - Presentation for Parents
What if my child bullies others?
• You might be the last to know about it since nobody likes to tell you this
• Your child might do this because:
(a) s/he may also be hurting for some reason and is “lashing out, “e.g.
s/he may have been bullied and may be “passing this on”
(b) s/he may be copying others to keep “in with them” by bullying
(c) there may be a misunderstanding about something said or done in
the past that was never sorted out
(d) s/he may feel insecure and be seeking “control” to feel more secure
Is there something I can do about this?
• Yes. Once you know about it you can support the school as it
implements its new anti-bullying policy – leading to resolution that
gives your child a “fresh start” with a “clean sheet” and no blame.
You can insist that your child keeps her/his side
of the arrangement arrived at and that any bullying behaviour stops!
Anti-Bullying Campaign - Presentation for Parents
Bullying behaviour is no longer
restricted to the
school yard.
It is often
by phone or online
and out of sight and earshot
of both teachers and parents.
Anti-Bullying Campaign - Presentation for Parents
Your home should be a safe place
where you can be away from
bullying and harassment . . .
. . . but Cyber Bullying by phone and online
can affect you even when you are at home . . .
Anti-Bullying Campaign - Presentation for Parents
Being cruel, repeatedly circulating
hurtful material to others or
about others using
technological
Cyber Bullying
means
is repeatedly using
computers, mobile phones,
smart phones or any other technology to
cause hurt or embarrassment to another person
Anti-Bullying Campaign - Presentation for Parents
 E-mail
 Mobile/smart phones
 Text messages
 Instant messaging / MSN
 Social networking sites
 Chat rooms
ASK.fm
Anti-Bullying Campaign - Presentation for Parents
• “Harassment”: Repeatedly sending
offensive, rude, and insulting messages
• “Cyber Stalking”: Repeatedly sending messages
that include threats of harm or are highly
intimidating and make a person afraid for his or
her own safety
• “Denigration”: ‘Dissing’ - circulating cruel gossip or
rumours about a student to damage his or her
reputation or friendships
• “Outing and Trickery”: Tricking a student into
revealing secret or embarrassing information
which is then shared without consent
Anti-Bullying Campaign - Presentation for Parents
• “Flaming”: Online fights using electronic
messages with angry and vulgar language
• “Impersonation”: Pretending to be someone else
and sending or posting material online that
makes someone look bad, gets her/him in
trouble or danger, or damages her/his
reputation or friendships
• “Exclusion”: Intentionally excluding someone
from an on-line group, like a ‘buddy list’
Anti-Bullying Campaign - Presentation for Parents
People who Cyber Bully:
• May pretend it’s “a joke”
• May think it’s “no big deal”
• May be encouraged by friends
• May pretend everybody does it
• May not think about consequences
• Think they won’t or can’t get caught
If so, as you will see . . . they should definitely think again!
Anti-Bullying Campaign - Presentation for Parents
One of the most threatening
aspects of being the target
of Cyber Bullying is that . . .
. . . You can’t see the
bully and you often
don’t even know
who it is.
Anti-Bullying Campaign - Presentation for Parents
Research
shows that those
who Cyber Bully are
usually the same people
who bully people directly and
you may know who they are but
to prove it you will need evidence
Anti-Bullying Campaign - Presentation for Parents
A victim of Cyber Bullying by phone should:
• Never reply to bullying or harassment by phone
• Put yourself in control - store the messages as evidence
• Block the sender - phone networks allow you to do this
• Tell someone you trust that the bullying is going on
• If Cyber Bullying continues, report the problem to
parents/teachers and depending on severity, the Gardaí.
• Even if the sender’s number is hidden the exact time and date
are attached to messages and enable the Gardaí to check with
the service provider and trace the sender of the message
Anti-Bullying Campaign - Presentation for Parents
A victim of Cyber Bullying online should:
• Never reply to online bullying or harassment
• Put yourself in control - store and print out messages and keep
them as evidence, noting exact time and date if possible
• Block communication with the Cyber Bullying person:
(a) by email, by adding her/him to your “blocked list” and
(b) on social networking sites (e.g. Facebook) by
(i) reporting the bullying to the site administrators and
(ii) changing your privacy settings to exclude her/him
• If Cyber Bullying continues, report the problem to parents/teachers
and depending on severity, the Gardaí.
Anti-Bullying Campaign - Presentation for Parents
Something everyone
who uses social media
should know:
Under the Department of Education’s
new anti-bullying procedures:
“ . . . Placing a once-off offensive or hurtful public message,
image or statement on a social network site or other public
forum where that message, image or statement can be viewed
and/or repeated by other people will be regarded as bullying
behaviour.”
This makes sense because every extra hour/day
you choose to leave such a thing in place
is like a repetition of the original act.
Anti-Bullying Campaign - Presentation for Parents
Adapted with kind permission of Caroline O’Doherty, Loreto, Beaufort.