Constructive vs Destructive Communication Styles Creating Understanding! “Sticks and stones will break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” Hammer of Communication THE CLAW IS LIKE DESTRUCTIVE COMMUNICATION. THE SHANK IS LIKE NON-VERBAL COMMUNICATION: It is sharp and dangerous and is used to destroy and tear down relationships. It is strong and can be used to support construction or destruction. THE HANDLE OF THE HAMMER IS LIKE US– IT IS THE DRIVING FORCE. We are in control of our communication and choose to use it in a constructive or destructive manner. THE HEAD IS LIKE CONSTRUCTIVE COMMUNICATION. It is smooth and rounded and is used to build and help put things together. 2 Types of Communication with 2 very different results. 4 volunteers (2 girls and 2 boys) to demonstrate these 2 types of communication? Role plays What techniques do you see used throughout each role play? When and How did you see these used? Write these down so you’ll remember. Broken Squares Activity Each group needs an envelope. Designate one person to be the judge. Objective: Your team will be successful when there is a perfect square, each of the same size, in front of each team member. Important Guidelines: – You may use only the pieces provided. – No member may speak or gesture in any way throughout the activity – complete silence. – Members may not ask, point, or signal another member for a piece, – Members may not take a piece from another member. – Members may not place their puzzle pieces in the center area for other team members to take. – Members may not place a puzzle piece in another player’s square. – Members may give pieces to other members. JUDGES: (read your role on the front of the packet) Discuss the experience and how it contributed positively and negatively to problem solving and conflict resolution. - I am listening to your discussion. What gets in the way of communication? Emotions! – When you are too emotionally involved, the conversation is over. Anger is the number one emotion / reaction / response to everything! – It appears to show strength while other feelings show weakness and vulnerability. – As you express emotions ask yourself if that is how you are really feeling or are you just covering up a different emotion. Acceptance is the greatest human need! Not being heard or understood or given a chance shows lack of acceptance. The question “Do you love me?” and “Will you listen to me?” translates to “Do you accept me?” “Am I worth it to you?” How do we feel and show acceptance??? Decoding Communication styles The way one sends and receives messages of acceptance, affection, and appreciation. (Think about parents, friends, boy/girlfriend..) Term Symbol Description Words Touch (A) Hand Hugging Holding hands Physically close Ear and Mouth Sharing one’s feelings Listening Heart-to-heart talks Caring words Meaningful discussion Eye Achievement Accomplishment Hard work Status things Read scenario Verbal (B) Read scenario Task (C) Read scenario How are you better going to meet their needs for communication? Communication Dialogue With a partner create a dialogue that resolves a conflict using communication techniques. REQUIREMENTS: Four “I” messages dealing with the same subject, and in response to one another. Two must be from each partner. Continuous acceptance and unconditional love displayed through non-verbal clues. Voice tone is accepting and loving. Partners must speak Adult to Adult. Display appropriate respect for partner’s personal space. One or more passive listening response. “MMMMMMM” Clarifying One or more encourager questions. Reflective listening response to at least two of the “I” messages. Two problem solving questions. GRADING SHEET: Next time, Choose two students to evaluate your presentation. Ten points for each item displayed in your role play.