Constructive vs
Destructive
Communication Styles
Creating Understanding!
“Sticks and stones will
break my bones, but
words will never hurt
me.”
Hammer of Communication
THE CLAW IS LIKE
DESTRUCTIVE
COMMUNICATION.
THE SHANK IS LIKE
NON-VERBAL
COMMUNICATION:
It is sharp and dangerous and
is used to destroy and tear
down relationships.
It is strong and can be
used to support
construction or
destruction.
THE HANDLE OF THE
HAMMER IS LIKE US– IT
IS THE DRIVING FORCE.
We are in control of our
communication and choose
to use it in a constructive or
destructive manner.
THE HEAD IS LIKE
CONSTRUCTIVE
COMMUNICATION.
It is smooth and rounded
and is used to build and
help put things together.
2 Types of Communication with
2 very different results.
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4 volunteers (2 girls and 2 boys) to
demonstrate these 2 types of
communication?
Role plays
What techniques do you see used
throughout each role play?
When and How did you see these used?
Write these down so you’ll remember.
Broken Squares
Activity
Each group needs an envelope.
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Designate one person to be the judge.
Objective: Your team will be successful when there is a perfect
square, each of the same size, in front of each team member.
Important Guidelines:
– You may use only the pieces provided.
– No member may speak or gesture in any way throughout the activity –
complete silence.
– Members may not ask, point, or signal another member for a piece,
– Members may not take a piece from another member.
– Members may not place their puzzle pieces in the center area for other
team members to take.
– Members may not place a puzzle piece in another player’s square.
– Members may give pieces to other members.
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JUDGES: (read your role on the front of the packet)
Discuss the experience and how it contributed positively and
negatively to problem solving and conflict resolution. - I am listening
to your discussion.
What gets in the way of
communication?

Emotions!
– When you are too emotionally involved, the
conversation is over.
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Anger is the number one emotion /
reaction / response to everything!
– It appears to show strength while other
feelings show weakness and vulnerability.
– As you express emotions ask yourself if
that is how you are really feeling or are you
just covering up a different emotion.
Acceptance is the greatest human
need!
Not being heard or understood or given
a chance shows lack of acceptance.
 The question “Do you love me?” and
“Will you listen to me?” translates to “Do
you accept me?” “Am I worth it to you?”
How do we feel and show acceptance???

Decoding Communication styles
The way one sends and receives messages of acceptance, affection,
and appreciation. (Think about parents, friends, boy/girlfriend..)
Term
Symbol
Description Words
Touch (A)
Hand
Hugging
Holding hands
Physically close
Ear and Mouth
Sharing one’s feelings
Listening
Heart-to-heart talks
Caring words
Meaningful discussion
Eye
Achievement
Accomplishment
Hard work
Status
things
Read scenario
Verbal (B)
Read scenario
Task (C)
Read scenario
How are you better going to meet their needs for communication?
Communication Dialogue

With a partner
create a dialogue
that resolves a
conflict using
communication
techniques.
REQUIREMENTS:
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Four “I” messages dealing with the same subject, and in
response to one another. Two must be from each partner.
Continuous acceptance and unconditional love displayed
through non-verbal clues. Voice tone is accepting and loving.
Partners must speak Adult to Adult. Display appropriate respect
for partner’s personal space.
One or more passive listening response. “MMMMMMM”
Clarifying
One or more encourager questions.
Reflective listening response to at least two of the “I” messages.
Two problem solving questions.
GRADING SHEET: Next time, Choose two students to
evaluate your presentation. Ten points for each item displayed
in your role play.