Department Order No. 15, series of 2012
SKILLS
MIND
SET
WHO
ARE
WE
THE CARROT AND STICK PROGRAM
 The carrot and stick are pervasive and
persuasive motivators.
 But if you treat people like donkeys,
they will perform like donkeys…
VICTIMHOOD PROGRAM
The insistence that people
see us through the lens of
our perceived hurts,
injuries and traumas
Victimhood is the flip side of the
program to control
 On the surface, it is a way of painting ourselves as
powerless.
 At a deeper level, it is actually a powerful attempt
to control others and get what we want.
Symptoms of Victimhood
 Clinging strongly to one’s version of story
 Tendency to bring up stories of past injuries
 Baiting the other into a new argument so as to re-
create victimization in real time for all to see
 Resisting coming into agreement that does not
enshrine their status (demanding apology or
acknowledgement)
Costs of Victimhood
 Generates continued pain and suffering in
keeping trauma alive long after the injury
 Creates a feeling of entrapment (lack of choices)
 Impedes conflict resolution- limits options
because outcome s focused only on what one
wants to see
 Prevents connection with others
How to Address Victimhood
 Focus on the present
 Be clear that every thought is a matter of choice, not an
inevitable consequence of the past
 Patience is required as one may have made victimhood
an ingrained central part of one’s identity
 Explore alternative interpretations of issues
 See present cost of victimhood
The Nature of Conflict
 When we are in conflict we say
things we don’t mean and mean
things we don’t say
 Conflicts have the capacity to
confuse and hypnotize us, making us
believe there is no way out other
than battle
 Conflict possesses a dark, hypnotic,
destructive power
The Nature of Conflict
 It speaks to a deep and ancient part
of our soul that thirsts for power and
revenge
 When we are in conflict, our
emotions become enormously
powerful and overwhelming
 We become aggressive, judgemental,
and hysterical or else, passive,
apathetic and defensive
Being so pained we do not know
how to:
 Temper our anger with compassion,
 Listen to other’s pain,
 Discover what caused the other person to act as he
did,
 Take responsibility for our own contribution to the
conflict.
As a result we feel trapped.
Definition of Conflict
 Conflict is a basic dynamic of human interaction in
which people struggle to balance concern for oneself
with connection to others. When this balance is upset,
human interaction becomes alienated and destructive,
resulting in a crisis in human interaction, also called a
conflict
Sphere of Conflict
•Lack of info
•Misinformation
•Different views
•Different interpretations
•Different assessments
•Strong emotions
•Misperceptions and stereotypes
•Poor or wrong communication
•Repetitive negative behaviour
Relationship
Interest
Value
•Different criteria
for evaluating
ideas or behavior
•Exclusive value
goals
•Different life,
ideology, religion,
way of life
Data
Structural
•Perceived or
actual
•Competitive:
- Substantive
interest
- Procedural
interest
-Psychological
interest
•Control over resources
•Destructive ways of behavior or interactions
•Unequal control
•Unequal power
•Geo/physical/enviro factors that hinder cooperation
•Time constraints
Retaliatory Cycle Model
Two Basic Responses
Fight
Flight
1. Avoid
 “Form a fact-finding committee to
investigate the problem.”
 “I am transferring you to where I
think the school can have better use
of your qualifications”
2. Ignore
 “Let’s stay away from using our
emotions.”
 Let’s just work. Forget our
differences.”
3. Deny
 “We are all one big happy family. We
don’t have problems.”
 You’re making a mountain out of a
molehill. There’s no problem here.”
Two Ways to Fight
Violently Non-
violently
Conflict Responses and Outcome
FLIGHT
Avoid
-Procrastinate
-Postpose
-Appoint a
Committee
-Pass the buck
-Rationalize/
group think
FIGHT
Ignore
Keep
doing
what
you’re
doing
Denial
Violently
Non--Violently
-War
-Vote(win/lose) - Negotiate
- Compromise
-Violence
- Consensus
-Threaten
- Mediate
-Arbitrate
-Litigate
-Quiet violence
picket, strike
demo, white paper
civil disobedience
collect signatures
Human Physiology of Conflict
Non-Adversarial Communication
(Language of Compassion)
 NAC is based on the premise that:
 We are all simply trying to get our needs
met
 Get these needs met thru cooperation and
without aggression
 We naturally enjoy contributing to the
well-being of others
Four Components of the Language
of Compassion
 The concrete action we are OBSERVING that are affecting
our well-being
 How we are FEELING in relation to what we are observing
 The NEEDS, values, desires that are creating our feelings
 The concrete actions we REQUEST the other in order to
improve our well-being
Adversarial
Nonadversarial
Observation
You always come late
every morning
You come in at half
past 9 o’ clock….
Feeling
I feel so betrayed and
unsupported
I feel frustrated….
Need
I need some ethical
values observed
around here
It is important that we
start the meeting on
time so we can get on
with our day
Request
You better shape up or
ship out
May I ask you to be
here at 9AM sharp?
Conflict Resolution Spectrum
Mediation
Negotiation
Unstructured/Consensual
Informal/Control with User
Concelliation
Expert Appraisal
Neutral Evaluation
Arbitration
Litigation
Structured/Adversarial
Formal/Control with 3rd Party
Negotiation
Decision
Party A
• Parties control the process
• Parties engage in verbal interaction
completely in their own terms
• Decision is made by the parties
• Outcome is whatever the parties
agree to
Party B
Mediation
Mediator
Disputant
Disputant
Decision
• Mediator agreed to by the parties
• Informal process controlled by the mediator
• Mediator is an independent and impartial facilitator
• Parties fully participate in decision issues, creating,
evaluating & agreeing options
• Focus is on the present and future and solving
problems
•Outcome aims for mutually accepted win-win
Arbitration
Decision
Arbitrator
Claimant
Respondent
• Mediator is appointed by the parties
• Formal process-regulated by arbitration procedure
• Parties input ideas and background
• Adversarial proceedings
• Focus is on rights and past events
•Decision is based on evidence and technical
assessment and imosed on the parties by the arbitrator
Litigation
Decision
Judge
Plaintiff
Defendant
• Judge appointed by the state
• Formal process regulated by the rules of evidence and court
procedure
• Role of lawyer is to act as advocate and discredit opposition
• Adversarial process where lawyers act in parties’ behalf
• Focus is on rights and past events
•Decision is imposed on the parties by the judge
Integrative Negotiation Analysis
Framework
Problem
The
immediate
source of
the
dispute
Demand
Positions,
threats,
fixed
solutions,
Proposals,
points of
view
Interest
What
really
matters to
this person
(Why is X
a
problem?)
Options
Ways to
solve
problem
based on
interests
surfaced
Solutions
The option
that best
serves all
parties’
interest
What can be negotiated?
BEHAVIOR
•How people treat
each other
•Sharing space
•Respecting
boundaries
•Communicating
about problems
•Noise
THINGS and
MONEY
•Property
•Reimbursement
•Arranging
payments
•Repairs
•Loans
•Maintenance
STRUCTURES
and SYSTEMS
•How decisions are
made
•Rules and
regulations
•Procedures
•Schedule
•Job
responsibilities
•Access
WHAT CAN BE NEGOTIATED under
DepEd Order No. 15, series of 2012
1. Complaints/Grievances/Disputes
concerning an act or omission of DepEd
officials/employees alleged to be
unreasonable, unfair, oppressive,
discriminatory, illegal, unjust, improper or
inefficient involving DepEd officials and
employees.
 2. Those offenses that fall under light offenses where the
corresponding penalty is reprimand such as:
a.
Discourtesy in the course of official duties
b.
Improper or unauthorized solicitation of
contribution from subordinate employees and by
teachers
or school officials from school children.
c.
Violation of reasonable office rules and
regulations
d.
Frequent unauthorized tardiness (Habitual
Tardiness)
e.
Gambling prohibited by law
f.
Refusal to render overtime service
g.
Disgraceful, immoral or dishonest conduct
prior to
entering the service
 h.





Borrowing money by superior officers from
subordinates
i.
Lending money at usurious rates of interest
j.
Wilful failure to pay just debts or wilful failure to pay
taxes due to the government
k. Lobbying for personal interest or gain in legislative
halls and offices without authority
l.
Promoting the sale of tickets in behalf of private
enterprises that are not intended for charitable or public
welfare purposes and even in the latter cases, if there is no
prior authority
m. Failure to act promptly on letters and request within
fifteen (15) days from receipt, except as otherwise provided
in the rules implementing the Code of Conduct and Ethical
Standards for Public Officials and Employees
implementing the code conduct and Ethical Standards for
Public Official and Employees
 n.
Failure to process documents and complete action
on documents and papers within a reasonable time
from preparation thereof, except as otherwise provided
in the rules implementing the Code of Conduct and
Ethical Standards for Public Officials and Employees
 o. Failure to attend to anyone who wants to avail
himself of the service of the office, or act promptly and
expeditiously on public transaction
 p. Engaging in private practice of his profession
unless authorized by the Constitution, law or
regulation, provided that such practice will not
conflict with this official functions
 q. Pursuit of private business, vocation or profession
without the permission required by Civil Service rules
and regulations.
NOT SUBJECT TO NEGOTIATION
under DepEd Order No. 15, series
of 2012
 Sexual Harassment
 Child Abuse Cases
 Cases Involving Violence Against Women and
Children under R.A No. 9262
 Issues related to the Performance Evaluation System
 Motu Propio Cases
When do people decide to settle?
 When they reach a mutually hurting stalemate;
 When they are able to understand and explore
their interests and options;
 When they are able to participate in a
communication process that encourages a
change in perceptions and attitude
 For centuries the rule of law has been
considered the best system. It has
symbolized progress and has been an
effective bulwark against tyranny
Yet the law has inherent defects
and tragic flaws that limit its
effectiveness as an instrument
for conflict resolution,
community building, and
collaborative social change
 It takes too long;
 It costs too much;
 It is adversarial rather than conciliatory;
 It is too dependent on definitions, thus
cannot act when outside the legal definition
 Relationships cannot be discussed or
corrected;
 Results are based on fault, not resolving
underlying issues.
A system where:
 Results are obtained voluntarily;
 There are no rules of evidence;
 Emotions are expressed acknowledged and respected,
 There is greater concern for the future than for the






past;
The third party facilitates rather than decides;
Parties have a say on how to end the conflict;
People are encouraged to be honest, not manipulative;
There is collaboration, not coercion;
Reconcilliation can truly happen;
Results are durable
This is:
MEDIATION
Mediation is:
 Justice coming full circle;
 It is a return to ancient principles of
wisdom, compassion, honesty, selfrevelation, healing, and forgiveness;
 It is not bargaining in the shadow of the law;
 It is anchored in human needs and wants
and is a superior form of conflict resolution;
 It is negotiating in the light of human
emotions, values, community, justice, and
ethics;
It is a process where a trained
neutral third party facilitates the
negotiation between parties, and
using learned techniques, help
them reach a voluntary, mutually
satisfying agreement
In its deepest form, it is a process
that promotes EMPOWERMENT
and MUTUAL RECOGNITION
Key Qualities of a Mediator
 An A-grade listener;
 Non-judgmental and tolerant;(NAC)
 Open-minded;
 Capable of staying calm;
 Positive under pressure;
 Good at getting the best out of people;
 Able to maintain confidentiality;
 Organized
The Mediation Process
Who are present?
The parties involved
The mediator(s)
The lawyers (if desired by the
parties)-to advise their clients
between sessions and before the
final agreement is signed
The Mediation Session
Time: About 2 hours
ELEMENTS OF THE MEDIATION PROCESS:
 Opening conversation;(check list)
 Uninterrupted time;
 The exchange and private caucusing
 Setting the agenda;
 Building the agreement;
 Making the agreement
Model of Mediation
PREPARATION
PAST
Opening
Conversation
Uninterrupted Time
Exchange and Private Caucus
Agenda Settings
Building the Agreement
Agreement and Closure
FAST
2 HOURS
Stage 1: The Opening Conversation
 Welcome and words of encouragement;
 Purpose and goal of parties in mediation;
 Role of the mediator/parties;
 Confidentiality;
 What to expect;
 Ground rules;
 Answer questions and establish buy-ins;
 Consent to proceed
Why the opening conversation is
important
 It prevents failure often due to:
 Parties lack of knowledge about what is
expected of participants;
 Unwillingness of parties to participate;
 Parties’ lack of understanding the process.
 It establishes what can be expected of the
mediator;
 Puts lawyers in place;
 It saves time.
Stage 2: Uninterrupted Time
 Set a courteous, unhurried tone;
 Explain listening and speaking;
 Give each person his turn to speak;
 Listen to what each person has to say;
 Select someone to start (at random);
 Protect each person’s speaking turn;
 Formally end each turn; check that each person is
finished;
 Thank them and move on
Stage 3: The Exchange
 Keep control of the session;
 Include each person;
 Ask necessary questions;
 Listen for interests and issues;
 Refrain from finding solutions yet;
 Watch for moments of reconciliation
When to use a private caucus
FOR SUPPORT:
•To separate, cool off, or calm
down angry people;
•Give shy or fearful people a
chance to speak;
•Help people think through
what they want
FOR SOL;VING THE PROBLEM:
•Receive private info;
•Explore interests and potential
solutions;
•Help unstuck the solution
FOR CONTROL:
•Change the mood or
direction of the session;
•Interrupt disruptive or
unhelpful behavior;
•Confront people privately
How to conduct PRIVATE CAUCUS
 Before mediation starts, decide where separate
sessions will take place and where parties will wait;
 Always meet with each party;
 Call for separate meeting in a matter-of-fact tone;
 Be clear in your own mind about purpose and goal;
 Assure them of confidentiality;
 Stay focused;
 Ask permission on what you can reveal to other
party;
 Take notes with you when you leave the table
Stage 4: Setting the Agenda
 Summarize what has been accomplished:
 List the issues they need to negotiate:
 Organize your notes and select key issues (ex.: issues
that need joint decisions, often mentioned issues,
emotionally charged, potentially negotiable,key to a
durable solution);
 Use positive impartial language;
 Reflect each one’s concern;
 Present problems as shared concerns.
 Agree on the agenda. Check for accuracy and
completeness
Identifying issues
“Do you think you can railroad us just
because you are the boss?”
“We need to talk about how decisions
are made. Does this sound right to
you?
The problem with you is your inability
to work with as a team
You are rude and mindless of your role
as my subordinate
“You are not my boss, Jean is. She
assigns me my work. Don’t t dump your
work on me just because you’ve been
here longer than anyone else.”
“I think the main issues are how to
communicate work tasks and how you
treat one another. Is there anything else
you may want to add
Stage 5: Building the Agreement
 Work through each issue:
 Elicit ideas;
 Evaluate and refine alternatives;
 Test for agreement and explore consequences;
 Write down tentative agreement;
 Keep discussions on track:
 Expect for tacking back and forth
 Refer back to the agenda to keep all in focus
 Stay within the time
Reality Test
 KEY CONCEPTS:
 BATNA: Best alternative to a Negotiated
Agreement
 WATNA: Worst agreement to a negotiated
agreement
 MLATNA: Most likely alternative to a
negotiated agreement
May Mediators Suggest Solutions?
 YES and NO
 Reasons why Mediators Should Hold back making
suggestions






To show trust that parties know better;
To prevent them from feeling incapable;
To prevent them from not taking the responsibility;
To give them more stake on the solution;
To prevent them from being uncomfortable;
To protect the mediator from taking blame
Stage 6: Writing the agreement
 Review each point of the agreement;
watching out for its workability,
wording, acceptability, finality and
conditionality
 Write out the final copy, read aloud;
 Have every person present sign and
give each party a copy
Closing Conversation
 Acknowledge what they have
accomplished
 Remind them of the next steps
Wrap-up
 Complete all paperwork;
 Have the mediation evaluation form
accomplished
 Submit the Mediator’s report;
 Destroy all notes and return submitted
documents to the parties
Special Skills of a Mediator
Listening;
Summarizing;
Questioning;
Reframing;
Anger management;
Self Management
SOLUTION:
What might work
for you?
INTEREST:
What is it that
makes you ask that?
PROBLEM:
Can you tell me
how the situation
started?
DEMAND:
What do you want
to see happen?
OPTIONS:
What are the other
way you might get
that (I) other than
(D)?
Desiderata
Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and
remember what peace there may be in
silence.
As far as possible without surrender be on
good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and
listen to others, even the dull and ignorant;
they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are
vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain and bitter;
for always there will be greater and
lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as
your plans.
Keep interested in your own career,
however humble; it is a real
possession in the changing fortunes of
time.
Exercise caution in your business
affairs; for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what
virtue there is; many persons strive
for high ideals;
and everywhere life is full of heroism.
Be yourself.
Especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be critical about love; for in
the face of all aridity and
disenchantment it is as perennial as
the grass.
Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of
youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield
you in sudden misfortune. But do not
distress yourself with imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and
loneliness. Beyond a wholesome
discipline, be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe, no less than
the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you, no
doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
Therefore be at peace with God, whatever
you conceive Him to be,
and whatever your labors and aspirations, in
the noisy confusion of life keep peace with
your soul.
With all its sham, drudgery and broken
dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be
careful. Strive to be happy.