Chapter 5 - Writing Good-News and Neutral Messages
Chapter 5: Writing Good-News and Neutral Messages
Directness is appropriate in most messages such as routine inquiries, favorable responses, order
acknowledgments and thank-you messages, direct claims, adjustment grants, and operational
communications.
Begin preparing for a message by assessing the reader’s probable reaction. If the likely reaction is
positive or neutral, directness is in order. If the likely reaction is negative, indirectness is in
order.
The General Direct Plan
The general plan for direct order:
Begin with your objective: Whatever your key point is, lead with it. You may want to provide
brief background information before presenting it.
Cover the remaining part of the objective: Whatever else must be covered to complete your
objective makes up the bulk of the remainder of the message. Cover your information
systematically—perhaps listing the details or arranging them by paragraphs.
End with goodwill: End the message with some appropriate friendly comment as you would end
a face-to- face communication with the reader. Include a closing that is relevant to the topic of
your message.
Routine Inquiries
Routine inquiries are those where the writer expects a positive response from the reader. Begin
with the objective. In doing so, you may ask a question or give an answer to a question the reader
has previously asked you. These beginnings save time for writer and reader. After you have done
that, you can present any necessary explanation, ask additional questions, or give additional
answers. To close, end with a goodwill message that is relevant to the reader. One of the most
common errors we see is the ambiguous thank you. It is not wrong to end with “thank you,” but
the thank you should be specific to the topic. Many students will, as an example, write a
favorable response that answers a reader’s many questions. After answering all of the questions,
the writer will type “thank you.” “Thank you” for what? Encourage students to finish the
thought: “Thank you for your interest in ACME products.”
Opening
Begin directly.
Use either a specific question that sets up the entire message (“Is your Karatan line of leather
goods sold on an exclusive dealership basis?”) or a general request for information (“Will you
please answer the following questions about your dealership policy for your Karatan line of
leather goods?”)
Note how both of the openings above are faster and more interesting than indirect openings such
as this one:
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Chapter 5 - Writing Good-News and Neutral Messages
“I saw your Karatan products advertised in this month’s Marketer Guide and am considering
stocking the line. But first I need to know the answers to the following questions:”
Content
Usually there is some need to identify or explain the situation. Such information helps the reader
in answering. Most often this information fits best after the opening. When a number of
questions must be asked, sometimes explanations are needed within the questions. The point is to
tell the reader whatever is needed to enable her or him to answer.
Place all explanations where they fit best. Cover the question or questions.
If your inquiry involves asking a single question, the message is short—a direct opening followed
by any necessary explanation and a friendly closing comment.
Sometimes a number of questions need to be asked.
In such cases, make each question stand out. Do this by
1. making each question a separate sentence,
2. organizing a paragraph around each question (especially if some questions require
explanations),
3. ordering (1, 2, 3, etc.) the questions, and
4. wording each as a question rather than as a hint for information (“Please send me . . .”
rather than “I would appreciate your sending me . . .”).
Generally avoid questions that can be answered with a simple “yes” or “no.”
“Do long periods of freezing temperatures damage Gardex?” vs. “What are the effects of long
periods of freezing temperature on Gardex?”
Close
End with a goodwill comment, preferably use words that fit the one case:
“As we must decide about using Natvac by next Monday, please have your answers to us by that
date.”
rather than “Thank you in advance for your help.”
These slides present bad and good versions of the same message. Notes are provided on the
PowerPoint slides for discussion. You may want to divide students into small groups to analyze
what makes the bad message bad and the good message good and then have the groups articulate
their analysis to the rest of the class.
This slide presents tips on how to organize questions for a routine inquiry. Most students need
help with formatting and organization, so this is an important slide to share.
Favorable Responses
Favorable responses are those that give the reader what he/she has requested. Because they are
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Chapter 5 - Writing Good-News and Neutral Messages
messages that answer inquiries favorably and convey good news and because they do what the
respondent has asked you to do, the direct order is appropriate. The indirect order would get the
job done, but it would be slower, and it would waste time.
Opening
Directness here means beginning by giving the reader what is wanted—which is the information
requested.
So a good beginning is the one that starts answering.
If the inquiry concerned is one question, it is the answer to that question:
“Yes, Chem-Treat will prevent mildew if used according to instructions.”
If it concerns a number of questions, the opening is the answer to one of them, preferably the
most important. An alternate possibility is to begin with a statement that you are giving the
reader what is wanted. Although this beginning really is not direct, it is positive. Also, it avoids
the abruptness that directness sometimes conveys: “The following information should tell you
what you need to know about Chem-Treat” or “Here are the answers to your questions about
Chem-Treat.”
Somewhere at the beginning, identify the correspondence you are answering.
One good way is to use a subject line of a message or in the subject identification of an email
message: “Subject: Your April 3 inquiry about Chem-Treat.”
Another is to refer to it incidentally in the opening: “. . . as requested in your April 3 inquiry. . .”
Content
If you are answering just one question, you have little else to do. You may include any
explanation or other information you think is needed. Then you close the message. If you must
answer two or more questions, you answer them in succession. Work for a logical order, perhaps
using the order used in the reader’s inquiry. You may choose to number the questions or to
distinguish them by bullets.
If some negative information must be given with the good, handle it carefully. You may choose
to deemphasize it—placing it in a position of little emphasis or giving it less space. Be sure to
avoid language that is unnecessarily negative (e.g., unfortunately, disappointed).
For the best in goodwill effect, you may consider including the “extras”—something nice that is
not required (additional information, comment, or question).
Close
End with friendly, cordial words that show your willingness to serve. Make these words fit the
one situation:
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Chapter 5 - Writing Good-News and Neutral Messages
“If I can help you further in deciding whether Chem-Treat will meet your needs, please write me
again.”
Order Acknowledgments
Acknowledgments are sent to people who order goods principally to report the status of the
order. They simply tell when the goods are being shipped. Many companies use form messages
for this; some use printed notes. But individually written messages can be used, especially for
important orders or to welcome a new customer.
Opening
As this is a routine, good news message, it is appropriate to begin it directly—getting to the point
right away.
“Your April 4 order for Protect-O paints and supplies will be shipped Monday by Blue Darter
Motor Freight.”
Content
The individually written acknowledgment message frequently includes various goodwill
information (e.g., reselling, appreciation for the order). Sometimes not all the items ordered can
be sent. Some may be out of stock and must be back-ordered. Sometimes the information in the
order needs to be cleared before shipment can be made. In such cases, shipment must be
delayed—a negative happening. This information also must be handled in the message. If the
delay will be taken as routine, it can be reported directly. If it will be bad news to the reader, you
should handle the situation with a minimum of negative wording and implication.
For example, if the reader failed to give complete information in the order, say: “So that you can
have the right color of leather on your master chair, will you please check your choice on the
enclosed color chart?”
For an item that must be placed on back-order, say: “We will rush the Shannon master chair to
you just as soon as our stock is replenished by a shipment due May 4.”
Close
End with a friendly, forward look. Comments about enjoyable (or profitable) use of the product
or a wish for continued opportunities to serve.
Thank-You Messages
Thank-you messages are written for many occasions as a way to practice good etiquette, build
goodwill, and present a positive professional image of the writer and the writer’s company.
Opening
The opening should be direct and include an expression of thanks.
Content
The content should be personal and speak directly to the reason for the thank-you note.
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Chapter 5 - Writing Good-News and Neutral Messages
Close
The writer need not thank the reader again given that thank-you messages are very short and the
writer will have said “thank you” only a few sentences earlier. However, the closing should be
relevant to the topic of the message. This might be a statement regarding future business between
the reader and writer or wishes for success for the reader and his or her company.
Direct Claim
Most businesses want to know when something is wrong with their products or services so they
can correct the matter and satisfy their customers. Many times the easiest and quickest way for
you to address these claims is simply to call the company directly to settle the matter.
Because you anticipate the reader will willingly grant your request, a direct claim begins with the
claim, moves to an explanation, and ends with a goodwill closing.
Beginning. The direct claim should open with the actual claim. This should be a polite but direct
statement of what you need. If the statement sounds too direct, you may soften it with a little bit
of explanation, but the direct claim should be at the beginning of your message.
Explaining the issue. The body of the direct claim should provide the reader with any
information he or she might need to understand your claim.
Providing a goodwill closing. Your close should end with an expression of goodwill. Keep it
simple.
Adjustment Grants
Adjustment grants are written when you grant a request for an adjustment based on a claim
someone has made regarding a product or service (e.g., a request for a refund, a request for a
product replacement). Because you are doing what the reader wants done and are correcting an
error or problem, the situation is positive; therefore, directness is appropriate. Because claims
themselves require communicating negative news, claim messages are discussed in Chapter 5.
Even though the situation is primarily positive, it is not all good news. The problem that led to
the claim you are granting is in the reader’s mind. Something bad has happened.
Granting the adjustment may not eliminate all the negative feelings the reader may have toward
you and your company, but questions about the service or products of your company may remain.
You may need to regain any confidence lost if the adjustment grant is to be completely
successful.
Opening
The opening words logically present the good news—granting of the adjustment. You will also
need to identify the correspondence you are answering in a subject line or in an incidental
reference in the opening.
In the opening and throughout the message, you will need to avoid words that recall
unnecessarily the negative thing that happened. Words such as mistake, trouble, damage, broken,
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Chapter 5 - Writing Good-News and Neutral Messages
and loss are especially damaging.
Equally negative are general references such as problem, difficulty, and misunderstanding.
Content
Except in cases in which the cause of the problem is routine or incidental, you will need to work
to regain lost confidence. Just what you should or can do will depend on the case. Determining
your goals, analyzing your audience, and all of the other steps in planning your document that we
discussed in earlier chapters are particularly important here. Perhaps you can explain how a
product should be used to avoid the breakdown that occurred. Maybe you have taken steps to
ensure that your personnel will not repeat an error. Or you may explain how what happened was
a rare occurrence.
Then if you have a reasonable explanation, present it—clearly and positively.
Close
End the message on a positive note—a comment that fits the one situation and does not recall
what went wrong. Move forward in the conclusion; do not dwell on the reason for the
adjustment.
Operational Communications
These are the internal communications necessary in conducting the company’s business—those
needed to get the work done.
They range widely in formality—from the brief, informal exchanges between employees to
formal documents. The informal messages do not require our study. They are simple, direct,
frank exchanges of information between workers. The more formal ones resemble the messages
we have reviewed in this chapter. A few resemble those message types we will take up in the
next chapter.
The suggestions for writing these messages are much the same as for those types previously
discussed. The need for clarity, correctness, and courtesy should guide these efforts.
To write an internal operational message, writers should do the following:
 Organize in the direct order
 Choose the appropriate tone (casual, moderately formal, or formal)
 Be clear and courteous
 Order the information logically
 Close in a way that builds goodwill
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