Do Now:
 Update your 25 Books Log and Genre
Chart.
 Take out the Rough Draft of your personal
narrative and a red pen. Please print a copy
if you haven’t.
 Put your laptop on your storage shelf.
Personal Narrative Revision
Show, not Tell
Adding dialogue, detail, and
description
Dialogue
 Use dialogue to bring the people in your
story to life
– Find at least one place to add dialogue or your
thoughts
 Use vivid verbs instead of “said”
 Make sure your dialogue sounds realistic
– Would this person really say that?
– Does their speech reveal their personality?
Detail
 Detailed, specific actions can bring your story to
life
 Use sensory details to paint a picture in your
reader’s mind
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Sight
Sound
Touch
Taste
Smell
 Find at least two places to add a sensory detail
Description
 Have you described:
– The people in your story?
– The setting?
– Your thoughts and feelings?
 Use strong, powerful adjectives and
adverbs.
 Replace overused words like good, bad, fun,
nice, awesome, etc. with more specific
terms.
– She’s an awesome friend.
– She’s a kind and thoughtful person, who always notices the feelings
of others.
FLOW
 Does your story make sense and flow from
beginning to middle to end?
 Do you vary the length of your sentences?
– Long sentences are good for description
– Short sentences are better for bringing the
reader’s attention to a specific part of the story