How to approach another person
2014 LLC Summer Services Congregation
Evening — July 4 —Rogers, Minnesota
Based on Aimo Helén’s presentation at
2013 SRK Speakers and Elders Meeting:
Toisen ihmisen kohtaaminen
How to approach another person
Our attitude towards others, an age-old question
God’s grace engenders love that serves
• We are not to be indifferent towards the needs
of our neighbor
• But caring and loving
• Forgiveness engenders a loving mind
Cain and Abel
• Cain killed his brother in rage
• When God approached him, Cain said,
“Am I my brother’s keeper?”
• Sin caused Cain to be harsh, envious, and
insensitive
Conflicts in Patriarch Jacob’s family
• Joseph sold by brothers into slavery, but did
not become bitter
• His faith engendered love to forgive his
brothers
• Love gave him strength to serve his brothers
Abundant forgiveness kindles
abundant love
The Good
Samaritan
• Man lay half dead
• Two passed by
• The third stopped
and administered
aid
• He was ready to
use time, skills, and
money to help
• The Good
Samaritan followed
the teachings of the
Lord Jesus
Jesus teaches:
“Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy
heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy
strength, and with all thy mind; and thy neighbor
as thyself.” (Luke 10:27).
Our redeemer deepens his earlier teachings in the
Sermon on Mount: “Ye have heard that it hath
been said, Thou shalt love thy neighbor, and hate
thine enemy. But I say unto you, Love your
enemies and pray for them that persecute you.”
(Matt. 5: 43–44).
He summarizes the law in the Golden Rule:
“Therefore all things whatsoever ye would that
men should do to you, do ye even so to them: for
this is the law and the prophets.” (Matt. 7:12).
“When God in His grace forgives our sins, it
gives birth to love, thankfulness, and
obedience of faith in our hearts. These cause
us to serve God and our neighbors.” Christian
Doctrine (KO 85, 1948)
•But sin clings to us and dims our visions of
faith.
•Indifference, self-sufficiency, and even
hardness have a tendency to replace love.
•The gospel renews and gives strength to
approach another person as our neighbor.
•Approaching another means interaction and
fellowship, but it is also caring for, giving, and
receiving.
• The best gift we can share in conveying
is living faith.
• God gives the gift of living faith.
• We have been given the task of being
ambassadors for Christ.
• God speaks through us: In Christ God
reconciled the world to Himself. He did
not count our sins against us or the rest
of the world. He entrusted to His own
the message of reconciliation. Therefore,
we are ambassadors for Christ, God
makes his appeal through us. We
implore the world on behalf of Christ to
be reconciled to God. (2 Cor. 5: 19–20).
Be near and listen
• All of us have
different life’s
circumstances.
• Some meet so
many people that
they need down
time.
• Others are lonely
and wish that
even one person
would stop and
brighten their
day.
• We must give up our
own comfort for the
good of others.
Many of our contacts are superficial
and hurried.
Kansainvälisyyslinja
Be near and listen
• A friendly look, a smile, and a few
positive words can do wonders.
• It may also open an opportunity for
even deeper discussion.
One wintry Sunday a couple is
walking to church. A familiar
retiree joins them who is asked
the customary question: “How’s
it going?” The honesty of the
reply is startling. He talks of
loneliness and about the agony of
having to let go of a loved one.
Muddled expressions of
sympathy are returned with
insufficient words. They get to
church door and the conversation
is over.
The same people meet again at
coffee after church. The
threshold for starting a
conversation is now lower. They
talk about common experiences,
at times more superficial, and
then at times deeper. When the
discussion ends, it seems as if
the day is brighter. The
interaction gave something to
all parties involved. The door to
subsequent visits is left ajar.
Approaching without prejudice
• Hard to overcome our fears to approach someone.
• Our fears are often unjustified.
• Care for human relations — come close and talk.
• Pray for strength from God to warmly and
genuinely approach another.
It’s okay to just
Be near and listen!
• We want to fix the problem.
• Aid and advice can be
given, but come from below.
• Some just need to share
their burden and have a
listening ear and heart.
• Hectic pace of life prevents heart to heart
confidential visits.
• For someone surrounded by the difficulties, cares,
and the chaos of life, such a moment could be the start
of a new, better life.
Esteem and respect for others
• Often define relationship with others
on basis of their characteristics.
• Easy to a admire friendly, goodlooking, brave, capable, dignified,
talented person.
• Not easy to admire a person who to
us seems to have negative traits.
• Those negative characteristics may
cause irritation, anxiety, restlessness,
and even fear.
• How can we have esteem and respect
for such a neighbor?
The apostle Paul exhorts us to
prefer one another in honor (Rom.
12:10). He also reminds us to be
kindly affectioned one to another
with brotherly love. Later the
apostle tells us not to be wise in our
own conceits and not to mind high
things, but to condescend to men of
low estate, attempting to live
peaceably with all men. He also
exhorts us to bless them which
persecute us (Rom. 12:14–18).
• Genuinely respecting another means giving
human value in spite of characteristics.
• The love of God teaches to accept ourselves
and our neighbors as unique creations of God.
• Treat all people as
equals created by God.
• We respect different
cultures and religious
customs, but not at the
expense of faith.
• Love for one’s neighbor and fruits
of living faith do not include
constant criticism, suppression,
and derision of another person, or
cold indifference.
• Respecting another person does
not mean humbling before
someone stronger or submission
in fear of the use of force.
• We don’t always have to be of the
same mind, but respect one
another’s thoughts.
• True respect includes readiness to
question behavior that can hurt
one or the other or both.
• True respect means treating the
other person as a discerning
individual who is capable of
making his or her own decisions.
• It teaches us to take into
consideration and understand the
needs, hopes, fears, and even the
dreams of our neighbor.
Helping someone in difficulty
• Being near and listening is important, but caring
and helping in a concrete manner is also important.
• Do what we can to assure that those in an accident
or stricken with an illness get professional help.
• Those suffering mental illness need help and
understanding.
• A neighbor with financial difficulties needs help.
• A dark cloud for an increasing number of people.
• Financial problems can have detrimental effects.
• Feelings of shame, insufficiency, inferiority, and
guilt can incapacitate a person and result in mental
health problems.
• Approaching a person with financial
difficulties requires great sensitivity.
• They don’t need a lecture on what
they’ve done wrong.
• Talking, sharing the burden, the one
in need may realize that it’s not as
bad as it originally appeared.
• Help them believe it’s possible to
recover like from other crises.
• Sometimes it may be possible to
provide short term help.
• Encourage use of a professional.
Paul writes to the Romans: “Rejoice
with them that do rejoice, and
weep with them that weep.” (Rom.
12:15). The apostle’s exhortation is
suitable instruction for us, also,
when we encounter suffering and
express sympathy. It is not always
possible to eliminate illnesses,
financial difficulties, life’s trials,
and the suffering and bad feeling
they cause, but even then it is
possible to be empathetic.
Helping
someone
in difficulty
• If some is experiencing health
problems, we can encourage
professional care.
• Yet we should respect the decisions
of the one in difficulty.
• Listening and being near the weary
is often sufficient.
Helping
someone
in difficulty
• The load on the
listener dealing
with problems
and suffering.
• Important to take care of one’s own
health, marriage, and family.
• There is only so much you can do.
Approaching the
grieving…
• Don’t worry
about words.
• Be near and listen!
• Let them talk,
express grief and
their mixed and
confused emotions.
• Don’t require
them to be happy.
• Don’t say to forget.
• Offer to help with
chores or business.
• When the grieving shares their innermost
thoughts, keep them confidential.
Approaching someone who thinks
differently
• Our culture, background, and birth
place create our identity.
• Life introduces us to new things and
ways of thinking all the time.
• Hard to understand others who have
grown up differently.
• We cannot accept everything, but
respect our neighbor for who they
are.
North America is
a continent of
immigrants.merica is
The Word of God teaches us to treat
them all the same.
The Old Testament beautifully
describes how immigrants were treated
in Hebron in the land of Canaan.
Abraham’s wife Sarah had died, so he
approached the local inhabitants—the
sons of Heth—and said: “I am a
stranger and a sojourner with you: give
me a possession of a burying place
with you, that I may bury my dead out
of my sight.” The children of Heth
answered Abraham: “Hear us, my lord:
thou art a mighty prince among us: in
the choice of our sepulchers bury thy
dead.” (Gen. 23: 2–6).
• God’s congregation has endeavored
to preserve unity of the Spirit.
• Unanimity essential regarding core
matters of faith.
• Paul writes to the Galatians: “I
marvel that ye are so soon removed
from him that called you into the
grace of Christ unto another gospel:
which is not another; but there be
some that trouble you, and would
pervert the gospel of Christ.”
(Gal. 1: 6–7).
• After many storms, battles, and
even strayings, God has always
gathered His children together
into the congregation of those
who believe in the same way.
• Apostle Paul’s words to the
believers in Ephesus are still true:
“There is one body, and one
Spirit, even as ye are called in one
hope of your calling.”
(Eph. 4: 3–5)
• In recent times we have been
preoccupied with the realization that
some of our friends think differently
about matters of faith and life than is
taught in the kingdom.
• They still claim to be believers even
though their tie to the congregation
may have been severed.
• How should I relate to such a friend?
• The Apostle Paul reminds the
believers in Colossae: “Let the word
of Christ dwell in you richly in all
wisdom; teaching and admonishing
one another.” (Col. 3:16).
Approaching
someone
who thinks
differently
• A person who has left on a different
path of faith and life may long for contact.
• We can turn to God in prayer for
wisdom to approach such a one in a
comfortable manner.
• Christ’s love teaches forbearance.
• We approach all
people as God’s created
to whom we wish all
good things.
• Good to create a secure, confidential
atmosphere for open discussion so that
the individual would be free to even
question matters.
• Good to search for answers to even
difficult questions within the kingdom.
Approaching someone who thinks differently
The children of God are guided by an
unerring adviser, the Spirit of truth,
which guides us into all truth.
(John 16:13).
• Each person must make their own
choices in life — even giving up faith.
• Difficult for the one who has left and
believing family and friends —
Grieving process.
• Remember that it is often very difficult
for the one who has left.
• We must accept their decision, though
so very hard, and show LOVE!
• Comfort: With God everything is
possible. He hears our prayers!
How did Jesus
approach
the denier?
Ambassadors of Christ
All children of God are priests of the
Holy Spirit: “But ye are a chosen
generation, a royal priesthood, an holy
nation, a peculiar people; that ye
should shew forth the praises of him
who hath called you out of darkness
into his marvelous light.” (1 Peter 2:9).
When we meet another person, when
the opportunity arises, we can explain
what is most important to us—how we
have received peace into our soul. We
want to invite our neighbor to also
become an owner of this peace.
We are often timid to even confess our
own faith, not to speak of more broadly
talking about matters of faith.
Fortunately, as ambassadors of God we
do not have to “make a career of this
work.” The Heavenly Father has
promised to provide the opportunity,
the power, and the right words. Our
own behavior, choices in life, and a few
imperfectly uttered words can lead
God’s chosen one into His kingdom.
In sowing the word we encounter
many kinds of recipients. Sometimes
the ground is so hard there is no
possibility for growth or then weeds
choke the sprouts. What’s more, there
are sowers of weeds in our midst.
Regardless of these difficulties, we
have been charged to do this work. The
Heavenly Father causes the sown seed
to find good ground and He gives it
growth.
Ambassadors of Christ
May the apostle’s experience
encourage us: “And I, brethren, when I
came to you, came not with excellency
of speech or of wisdom, declaring unto
you the testimony of God. And I was
with you in weakness, and in fear, and
in much trembling. And my speech
and my preaching was not with
enticing words of man’s wisdom, but
in the demonstration of the Spirit and
of power: that your faith should not
stand in the wisdom of men, but in the
power of God.” (1 Cor. 2: 1–5).