TO SOBRIETY AND BEYOND!
HELPING CLIENTS SHIFT
FROM A “WHAT NOT TO
DO”, TO A “LIVING LIFE
FULLY” FOCUS
BRIAN T. CASE, PH.D.
PSYCHOLOGICAL COUNSELING SERVICES, LTD.
480-947-5739
brian.case@pcsearle.com
INTRODUCTION…


LMFT/Addiction-S.A. for past 17 years at PCS
Treatment approach =
addiction model, trauma, attachment,
systems theory, psychodynamic, CBT,
spirituality

A/F and “GET REAL” groups
WORKSHOP OBJECTIVES




Explore the importance of helping clients think in terms of recovery
and not just sobriety, and how integrating the “Super 7” can
facilitate that shift.
Present a user-friendly model (that can be shared with clients) in
which recovery is defined, in part, as “recovering and reintegrating” the
lost parts of our ‘real self’ and then living life fully from that place of
authenticity.
Discuss ways to help clients understand distinctions between
addictive impulsivity and healthy spontaneity
Learn (engage in) an experiential exercise/technique to facilitate a
client’s movement into “being present/living life more fully”.
THE PROBLEM:




STUCK IN A WHAT “NOT TO DO” FOCUS
20 YRS SOBER AA/ACTIVE S.A. WORKAHOLIC, ETC
“IT WAS A GOOD WEEK, I DIDN’T EVEN THINK ABOUT SEX
ONE TIME!”
We are SASH!!
– LET’S ADVANCE SEXUAL HEALTH AND NOT JUST
HELP STOP SEXUAL ADDICTION/COMPULSIVITY!
SOBRIETY CONTRACT




CIRCLES (OUTER, MIDDLE, INNER)
RED LIGHT, YELLOW LIGHT, GREEN LIGHT
BEHAVIORS.
MISSION STATEMENT
ALL = IMPORTANT, WHAT “TO DO” = FOCUS
THE PROBLEM CONTINUED…

The much needed emphasis on restraint
regarding addictive behaviors can bleed over
into parts of one’s self that are crying out for
release and expression.
THE SOLUTION: “THE GOOD LIFE!”

LIVE A FULL AND RICH LIFE IN WHICH THE
APPEAL OF ADDICTION IS DECREASED (IN
PART) BY AN INCREASE IN JOY, HEALTHY
PASSION, FULFILLING RELATIONSHIPS, AND
RECONNECTING WITH OUR “CHILD-LIKE”
ABILITY TO PLAY & LIVE IN THE MOMENT IN
HEALTHY VS. ADDICTIVE WAYS
THE MODEL
Psychodynamic
Systemic, relationally oriented
Trauma/Neglect
Shame
Image Mgt.
Attachment
CBT
Apology/Forgiveness
Inner-child/self-love
Boundaries/anger mgt./assertiveness
THE REAL SELF












OPEN & HONEST
CAN LIVE IN THE MOMENT
CAPABLE OF SPONTANEITY, SILLINESS
CAN SELF-VALIDATE
NOT IMAGE DRIVEN
EMOTIONALLY EXPRESSIVE IN SAFE WAYS
APPROPRIATE GUILT VS. TOXIC SHAME
AWARE OF AND OK WITH WEAKNESS IN SELF & OTHERS
GROWTH/CHANGE MOTIVATED BY SELF-LOVE VS. SHAME
CAN USE HUMOR & CAN PLAY WITHOUT HURTING SELF/OTHERS!
PROTECTS OUT OF BALANCED SELF-CARE
SEEKS CONNECTION/RELATIONSHIP
THE SOLUTION & SEXUALITY…

LIVE A FULL AND RICH SEXUAL LIFE IN WHICH
FULFILLMENT IS INCREASED, & THE APPEAL OF
ADDICTIVE SEX IS DECREASED (IN PART) BY
TRUE INTIMACY, PASSION FULLY EXPRESSED
WITHIN ONE’S VALUES, PLAY, CREATIVE
EXPRESSION, & THE ABILITY TO BE IN THE
MOMENT RATHER THAN NUMBED OR
DISSOCIATED THROUGH THE SEXUAL
EXPERIENCE.
HEALTHY SEXUALITY IS…


GREATEST COMMON DENOMINATORS = ?
Klein (2011)
–
–
–

HONEST
CONSENTING
RESPONSIBLE
UNDERSTAND RISKS, SATISFYING, SHAME/DEGRADATION-FREE
THE “SUPER 7”
INTIMACY WITH VULNERABILITY
*Terry Real’s Keynote last year.
*HONEST ABOUT NEEDS, WANTS, LIMITATIONS
*FOCUSING ON CONX IN EXISTING CORE R-SHIPS
*ADDRESSES CONFLICT
-BOUNDARIES VS. WALLS
-APOLOGY/FORGIVENESS
*HELP THEM REALLY LISTEN TO LOVED ONES!
EXPERIENTIAL EX. - “INSTIMACY”

LEAD-IN STATEMENT THAT EACH FINISHES
-SHIFT WHO GOES FIRST


GO WITH “FIRST THING” UNLESS 2ND =
MORE HONEST/VULNERABLE
“PAUSE CHIPS”
THE “SUPER 7”
PASSION WITH INTEGRITY




DRINKING UP “JOY JUICE” WITHOUT THE HANGOVER!
FULLY EXPRESSING SEXUALITY WITHIN PERSONAL
VALUES
BALANCED SELFISHNESS (NO MARTYRS!!)
HEALTHY SENSUALITY VS. ADDICTIVE SELF-INDULGENCE
THE “SUPER 7”
HEALTHY “LIVING IN THE MOMENT”








CREATIVE SPONTANEITY VS. DESTRUCTIVE IMPULSIVITY
“SEIZE THE DAY”
VS. DEMAND FOR INSTANT
GRATIFICATION
CHILDLIKE
VS. CHILDISH
HUMOR THAT CONNECTS VS. PROTECTS/HURTS
PLAY
VS. PERFORMANCE
FAITH AND SPIRITUALITY VS. FEAR-BASED RELIGIOSITY
RELATIONSHIP
VS. IMAGE-BASED “RULES”
HEALTHY SENSUALITY
VS. ADDICTIVE SELF-INDULGENCE
THE “SUPER 7”
CURIOSITY/WONDER




Impact of many schools:
WE need to remain curious with our clients
Appreciate fact that the older I get, the less we
KNOW, but the wiser we are with our application!
Wanting to LEARN vs. SHOW/TEACH/TELL
THE “SUPER 7”
GRATITUDE
*STOP & SMELL THE ROSES
*DAILY (Hymn: Count Your Many Blessings)
-SPIRITUALITY
*ANTIDOTE TO VICTIM MENTALITY/DESTRUCTIVE
ENTITLEMENT
*IS POSSIBLE REGARDLESS OF CIRCUMSTANCES!!
GRATITUDE QUOTES






“Let us be grateful to people who make us happy; they are the charming gardeners
who make our souls blossom." - Marcel Proust
"We can only be said to be alive in those moments when our hearts are conscious of
our treasures." - Thornton Wilder
As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not
to utter words, but to live by them. -John F. Kennedy
The deepest craving of human nature is the need to be appreciated. -WIlliam James
"Be thankful for what you have; you'll end up having more. If you concentrate on what
you don't have, you will never, ever have enough." - Oprah Winfrey
He is a wise man who does not grieve for the things which he has not, but rejoices for
those which he has." - Epictetus
THE “SUPER 7”
HUMOR/LAUGHTER…
HEALTHY HUMOR:




USED TO FACE PROBLEMS WITH COURAGE/PERSPECTIVE VS.
TO AVOID
CONNECTS NOT PROTECTS
NO HIDDEN ANGER
-CAREFUL WITH USING IT TO ADDRESS ISSUES
NO SHAME/VICTIM
Laughter is the Best Medicine:
According to various studies, laughter can:
 Boost the immune system and circulatory system
 Enhance oxygen intake
 Stimulate the heart and lungs
 Relax muscles throughout the body
 Trigger the release of endorphins (the body’s natural painkillers)
 Ease digestion/soothes stomach aches
 Relieve pain
 Balance blood pressure
 Improve mental functions (i.e., alertness, memory, creativity)
THE “SUPER 7”

1. FREEJAMMING (HEALTHY “ESCAPE”!!
-EXCITEMENT
-SPONTANEITY
-CREATIVITY
-AWARENESS
-PLAYFULNESS
-EXPRESSIVENESS
FREEJAMMING VARIATIONS





VERBAL PING-PONG
COPY-CAT
LAUGH-A-THON
SCENARIOS (BOYS ON CAMPOUT, ETC.)
CIRCLE OF SPONTANEITY
“DON’T FORGET TO PLAY!!” : )