Chapter 4 – Planning
Business Messages
AOS 272
Effective Business Messages are:
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Purposeful – All business messages are
intended to accomplish something
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Share information
Solve a problem
Request resources
Persuade the reader to act or think in a certain
way
Effective Business Messages are:
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Audience-centered – Business messages
must connect with their audience to
accomplish their purpose. To do so, you must
consider:
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Audience’s point of view
Audience’s needs
Audience’s background
Effective Business Messages are:

Concise – Be respectful of the audience’s
time by presenting information clearly and
efficiently. Messages should only be as long
as they absolutely need to be to accomplish
their purpose.
Three Step Writing Process
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Plan
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Analyze the situation: purpose and audience
Gather information
Choose form
Organize: direct or indirect?
Write
Complete
Planning
 Purpose
 Reader
 Essential
points
 Paragraph
order
Purpose
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What is my goal for this message?
What general purpose do I want to
accomplish?
Who will read it?
What is the main idea of this message?
Goals
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General Communication Goals
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Receiver Understanding
Receiver Response
Favorable Relationship
Organizational Goodwill
General Purpose
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Inform
Persuade
Collaborate
Specific Purpose
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Main idea of message
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Answer a question
Give information
Persuade reader to act
Change opinion
Collaborate with reader
What do you want your reader to do or think?
Secondary Purpose
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Additional action
Supporting ideas or
information
Reader relationship
and goodwill
Reader Analysis
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Knowledge
Interest
Attitudes
Emotional state
Expectations
Probable reaction
Multiple Receivers
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Analyze each one
Generalize
The You-Viewpoint

How would I respond to this message if I
were the reader?

What can I focus on or emphasize that will
interest or benefit the reader?
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Change negative terms to positive – focus on
what you can do, not on what you can’t do.
Essential Points

Outline the content
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Brainstorm ideas
Research background or information
Ask audience what is needed
Have I given the reader what he or she needs to
accomplish the purpose?
Have I answered these questions?
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Who?
What?
When?
Where?
Why?
How?
Paragraph Order
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What type of plan?
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Direct – puts the most important information first
Indirect – gives background or reasons before
main point
Compose the Message
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Draft
Edit
Revise
Proofread
Repeat, as necessary!
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Remember:
Purpose
Reader
Essential points
Paragraph order
Effective Business Writing
Presented by
Lou Dunham, MS
Audience Analysis and the “You”
Viewpoint
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Courteous – puts reader’s needs first
Free of bias and stereotypes
Uses a plan that fits the message
Write Clear Sentences
Choosing the Right Words
“I never use a word like metropolis when I can
get the same price for city.”
--Mark Twain
“Little men use big words; big men use little
words.
--Winston Churchill
Style and Tone
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Conversational language but professional
tone
Avoid out-dated formality
NOT:
It has come to our attention that the
obfuscation of this allocated threedimensional expanse is violation of statute.
What is this saying?
And NOT:
Yo! Gt yr msg. Can U bleev ths clss? IM so
LOL. Gotta run. TTYL.
Use Simple Words
Use Simpler Words Instead of Complex Words
Complex Words
approximately
ascertain
assistance
commence
converse
endeavor
enumerate
equitable
finalize
gratuitous
hold in abeyance
interrogate
it is requested that
negligible
numerous
omit
peruse
procure
pursuant to your request
render services
subsequently
sufficient
terminate
utilize
detained
verbalize
viable option
Simpler Words
about
find out
help
start or begin
talk
try
list
fair
complete or finish
free
delay
ask
please
small or slight
many
skip
read or study
get
as you asked
serve
later
enough
end, finish, fire
use
delayed
say
good choice
Use Concise Words

Use only the words needed to convey your
meaning clearly.

Avoid “doublets” and redundancy

Use specific details to improve clarity
Use Conversational Words

Write as you would speak in a professional
conversation

Avoid clichés and over-used phrases
Use jargon only if it is appropriate and if you
are sure the reader is familiar with its
meaning
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
Mary Ellen Guffey Spring Newsletter
Complete and Fluent Sentences
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Sentence = Clause
Clause = Subject + Verb
Punctuation
 I enrolled at SFCC
 I am taking business classes
I enrolled at SFCC; I am taking business
classes.
I enrolled at SFCC, and I am taking business
classes.
I enrolled at SFCC where I am taking business
classes.
Construct Effective Paragraphs
Keep Paragraphs Short
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Short paragraphs are easier to understand
and less intimidating.
Short paragraphs average 6 to 7 lines.
Paragraphs usually should not be more than
12 lines.
Give Paragraphs Unity
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One topic per paragraph
All sentences relate to the main topic
Omit unnecessary detail
Avoid the “Zone of Confusion”

Action or Current
Status

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We accept your
statement and are
crediting your account.

Background

We received your
letter.

You stated that there was
an error.

Your bank did not
transfer the funds.
Enclosed is a refund of
the charge.
Use Organization and Emphasis
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Organization should suit topic
Direct or indirect
Chronological
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Process
Series of events
Compare and contrast
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Similarities
Differences
Problem – causes – solution
Journalistic
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Who
What
When
Where
Why
How
Emphasis in paragraphs
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Length
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Location
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Specify important points
Format
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Use key words repeatedly
Explicitness
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Beginning and end have greatest emphasis.
Repetition
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Short paragraphs emphasize content; long paragraphs
de-emphasize content.
Use lists and parallel construction
Mechanics
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Fonts, bold and underlines, graphic elements
Use graphics to clarify and add interest
Samples
Tables
Charts
Bar and column
Pictographs
Pie
Line
On-Site Daycare
Company Benefits
Employee Benefits
Concerns
Reduced absences
Cost savings
Facility
Hiring incentive
Peace of mind
Staffing
Employee retention
Regulations
Edit for clarity and coherence
Entire document
Complete
All needed information
Coherent
Organization and flow
Paragraphs
Concise
Only needed details
Consistent
Organized
Sentences
Correct
Check grammar, punctuation, word choices
Misused and confused words