Intimate Relationships { Liz Ford, Froza Mercado, Kyra Alexander, D’Andre Miller, John Carr, Tyrone Jenkins Developing a Relationship Friendships (The first relationships we form outside of the family) Include the following : 1. Companionship: Friends are usually happy and relaxed when they are around each other 2. Respect: show respect by being honest 3. Acceptance: They accept each other. They can be themselves without feeling criticized. 4. Help: Friends know they can rely on each other in times of need. 5. Trust: They feel safe confiding in each other 6. Loyalty: Friends stand up for each other 7. Mutuality: Friends share the ups and downs of each other’s lives. 8. Reciprocity: Give- and – take Choosing a Partner Lives in the same geographic area Is from similar ethnic and socioeconomic background Has similar educational attainment Lives a similar lifestyle Is like them in terms of physical attractiveness Communication The keys to good communication in relationships: Self-disclosure Listening Feedback Non Verbal- 65% communication is non verbal -Ability to interpret non verbal messages Understand differences in communication by gender: -Men try to establish dominance and listen less -Women seek advice and pay attention to body language Challenges in a Relationship Unequal or Premature Commitment Unrealistic Expectations Competitiveness Balancing time together and apart Jealousy Supportiveness Unhealthy Relationships Could be physically or mentally abusive Lacks love and respect Too much criticism, contempt, defensiveness and withdraw Cohabitation Cohabitation: Living together in a sexual relationship without being married. Cohabiting couples have a 51% chance of marrying after 3 years together Advantages: Lowers the cost of living Emotional support and sexual relations without the commitment of marriage Tests your compatibility before agreeing to marriage Traditional Marriage: Between Man and Woman Heterosexual union, social or legal union between opposite sex couples Heterosexual: Emotional and sexual attraction to people of the other sex Characteristics of a happy Marriage: Realistic expectations about the relationship Good communication skills Agree on religious/ethical values Resolve conflicts effectively Mutual trust Equal roles Balance of interests The Benefits of Marriage Affection Personal affirmation Companionship Sexual Fulfillment Emotional Growth Can provide a setting to raise children Same-Sex Relationships Sexual Orientation: A consistent pattern of emotional and sexual attraction based on biological sex. - It exists along a continuum that ranges from exclusive heterosexuality, bisexuality, to exclusive homosexuality. Bisexuality & Homosexuality Bisexuality: emotional and sexual attraction of people of both sexes (male and female). Homosexuality: emotional and sexual attraction to people of one’s own sex (male-male; female-female). Similarities with heterosexual couples: Same-sex partnerships provide intimacy, passion, and security. Same-sex partnerships tend to be more equal and less organized around traditional gender roles: -Greater emphasis on partnership than role assignment. -Domestic tasks are split. LGBTQI People with diverse sexual orientations and gender identities are often grouped together. Lesbian: Female-Female Gay: Male-Male Bisexual: Female/Male Transgendered: people who’s biological sex doesn’t match their gender identity Questioning or Queer Intersex: people born with ambiguous genitals Controversy of Same-Sex Relationships 1. Societal hostility or ambivalence Homophobia: fear or hatred of homosexuals There can be violence, discrimination, or can be subtle. 2. Religious views also play a role in same-sex relationship controversy. Politics- presidential support 3. Problems with family may arise when individual “comes out” Family trouble with acceptance of same-sex relationship or same sex marriage. Legalization of Gay Marriage Marriage between the same sex Proponents argue that same-sex couples should have access to the same marriage benefits and public acknowledgment enjoyed by heterosexual couples and that prohibiting gay marriage is unconstitutional discrimination. Opponents argue that altering the traditional definition of marriage as between a man and a woman will further weaken a threatened institution and that legalizing gay marriage is a slippery slope that may lead to polygamous and interspecies marriages. States with Legalized Gay Marriage Massachusetts (May 17, 2004) Connecticut (Nov. 12, 2008) Iowa (Apr. 24. 2009) Vermont (Sep. 1, 2009) New Hampshire (Jan. 1, 2010) New York (June 24, 2011) Washington (Dec. 9, 2012) Maine (Dec. 29, 2012) Maryland (Jan. 1, 2013) California (June 28, 2013) Delaware (July 1, 2013) Rhode Island (Aug. 1, 2013) Minnesota (Aug. 1, 2013) New Jersey (Oct. 21, 2013) Hawaii (Dec. 2, 2013) Illinois (law will take effect June 1, 2014) Common Law A marriage existing by mutual agreement between a man and a woman, or by the fact of their cohabitation, without a civil or religious ceremony. Divorce Rates Divorce First Marriage: 45% to 50% marriages end in divorce Second Marriage: 60% to 67% marriages end in divorce Third Marriage: 70% to 73% marriages end in divorce Couples With Children: 40% Couples Without Children: 66%