Abbie J: Question 2a) Write about the way in which description is used in The Darkness Out There.
Penelope Lively uses vivid descriptions to describe the setting of the story to try and make the story come alive and make it more tense. An example of when she does this is in line 31 where it describes packers end as ‘nasty’ and ‘creepy’ this then makes the readers imagination create a picture of the story making it more real and there for more tense and scary. This thorough description of the setting then reveals the irony that is not the place they should be scared of it is Mrs. Rutter. This is shown in line
‘there was a darkness that was not the darkness of tree shadows’
Description if used to help create the outward stereotype of Mrs. Rutter. In line 95-97 Mrs. Rutter is being described as a stereotypical old lady. This is done to help the reader create an innocent view of
Mrs. Rutter. This innocence is later shattered as we see what she is actually like. However the writer creates this outward innocence for us so that it is more of a realisation.
Lively used description to create foreshadowing. This happens in line 115 where it refers to her vegetables as ‘stumps’ This is foreshadowing that there is going to be something to do with war, which we later find out was the story about the German soldier. This is also an almost parallel situation to the story she tells late as they were looking out of the window to see her vegetables and in the story you would have looked out of the window to see the German soldier stuck. I would seem that her garden would have been left and not cared for just like she left the soldier.
Lively uses description to reveal Mrs. Rutters evil side. throughout the beginning of the story Mrs. rutter is displayed as an innocent character but in line 307-308 Mrs. rutter action are revealing her evil side as they are described. They are describes as ‘Mrs. Rutter licked her lips; she looked across at them, her eyes darting’ the word darting could reveal the she is nervous and ashamed of what she is about to tell them but in this case i think it i the writers way of showing her evil side.
Mrs. Taylor’s Comments: 1. Rewrite paragraph one which analyses the description of Packer’s end – it needs to be more precise and explorative
2. Add a paragraph illustrating how Lively uses description satirically /for humour

Tanoa: 7b – Write about the presentation of the abuse of power in “Anil”
In the opening paragraph of “Anil”, Ridjal Noor uses the metaphor of “the mosquitoes […] in their reign of terrorism” as a method of foreshadowing the coming, pivotal events in the story and the characters involved. The mosquitoes mentioned are representative of the villainous characters of Marimuthu and the headman, inflicting lasting, potentially fatal damage on their oblivious victims with no moral qualms
– as with mosquitoes. It is a given that the “reign” of the mosquitoes relates directly to the reign of the headman and Marimuthu over the village, therefore, this represents their abuse of their own power and hierarchical importance and they cause physical and emotional destruction.
Noor, through character description, presents Anil’s father, Appa, as an abusive bully in his domestic environment, but a coward in the presence of the headman. “a bully to his family and a timid mouse to the headman” – this presents a second abuse of power within the story, where the cycle of the abused
(Appa, abused by the headman) “the mouse of a man who was ready to serve his employer” becomes the abuser (Appa to his wife) “Anil saw the bruise on her shoulder, where Appa […] had hit her” – this works in effect to generate a balanced view of Anil’s father – drawing, at first, loathing from the reader towards him, but towards the conclusion of the novel, sympathy, as he is presented as a broken, hopeless man “a bent, despaired figure”.
In the concluding dialogue of the story, Appa abuses his position as father of Anil by threatening the young boy, in an attempt to prevent any verbal challenge from Anil in the event of his untimely and unjust banishment from the village. “Or I’ll come down there and give you a good walloping”, as a result of his position in the family hierarchy, Anil must succumb to and accept this threat, “do you understand?’ Anil nodded”. Justice has been sacrificed as a result of the power corrupted characters and their actions throughout the story.
of Anil’s powerlessness b) what the character of Anil symbolises in the story

Emily Lunnon: 8. a) Write about the cultural differences in Something Old, Something New.
Cultural differences are a main theme throughout the story. The first line states that ‘her country disturbed him.’ Already, this foreshadows later events in the story that are new to him and therefore leaves him feeling exposed and vulnerable.
His first words seem significant. “I mustn’t kiss you.” He is aware from the very beginning that he must remain composed. Also, this indicates that they are in a relationship, but there are very strict cultural issues to respect in her home country.
As it is written in third person, we are allowed a unique insight into the protagonist’s mind through the use of free indirect speech. ‘I will get used to the dust, he told himself, but not the heat.’ This confirms that he is not familiar with his surroundings and his own country is a lot cooler.
Further on in the story, the cultural difference genre becomes more obvious. Scotland is a place where men and women are treated equally regardless of their religion. ‘She was wearing trousers.’ This shows that her dress code is not as restricted in Scotland unlike her hometown of Khartoum, ‘wearing national dress; a pale orange robe’. This shows that she has to wear what is expected of her and she has to obey these strict rules.
Following on from that, in Scotland they were able to see each other alone. But now they are in Sudan,
‘they were never alone.’ This shows that even though he knows their Islamic beliefs, he still finds it hard to come to terms that they always have to be accompanied. In a way, this makes him seem more desperate to be with her. ‘He watched her… how she smiled.’
Mrs. Taylors Comments: You are right that it is in 3rd person but the example you give is not free indirect speech because it says ‘he told himself’ – this is the narrator revealing the internal thoughts of the protagonist.
Add a paragraph about the symbolism of the henna tattoo at the end and his response to it.
Add another paragraph about setting and how this reveals the protagonist as encountering a foreign culture and climate.

Louise: 3A) Write about the way in which narrative voice is created in “My Polish Teachers Tie”.
My Polish Teachers Tie is told in the present tense, and it is in first person. This makes it feel like we are involved in the story, rather than just being told it. ‘I wear a uniform, blue overall and white cap with the school logo on it’.
There are many short sentences in this story, and this has connotations of Carla being a very nervy person, and very “on edge”. ‘The polish one. You said there was a Polish teacher who wanted an English pen friend’. This also makes her seem abrupt, like she isn’t a very sociable person, this is also shown in the story by the way that Valerie is portrayed and speaks to her in contrast to Steve. ‘I am half-Polish.
They don’t know that here.’ Again, these short sentences show that she is a very matter-of-fact person and to the point, she doesn’t like to get emotionally involved in situations. She tells us she is half-Polish almost with no emotion. This suggests that being Polish is a painful subject to her – perhaps because she feels she has lost her identity.
‘Teachers are used to getting out of the way of the catering staff without really seeing them.’ This shows a lack of identity, almost as if she views herself as invisible and that she doesn’t want to be noticed by anyone. This also suggests this is how she feels she is viewed. She is catering staff, they clear up and serve food, and she doesn’t feel she is one of the “important” staff in school.
‘The first poem he sent […] no one could find it.’ The poem is very special to her because it is the first one he sent This shows she is stuck in her job with no one knowing the “real her”. It also shows how her original identity (the Polish one) is lost to her and she can’t find the metaphorical “mine shaft” i.e. job.
She feels as though she is lost to everyone and nobody will ever see the real side to her.
‘I could be off sick [...] I could say Jade was ill’. This shows her insecurities, even though she has no problem sharing with the reader that she is considering lying. She has self-esteem issues that she wants to overcome by lying to Steve and pretending she is someone who she isn’t.
Mrs. Taylors Comments: add 1) a paragraph on what her vocabulary choices say about her character, and 2) her use of irony and deadpan humour

Izzie: 6a) Write about the presentation of family relationships in the story Compass and Torch
The Compass and Torch cleverly incorporates many different aspects of family relationships into the story from the very beginning. The layout of the first three paragraphs and its content show how much the boy is in awe of the father. The second paragraph consists of four extremely short sentences, each one describing how the boy watches his father. ‘Drinking it in: the essence of
Dadness’. This metaphor shows just how much the son idolises and loves his father, implying that he wants to absorb as much as possible of him, perhaps due to lack of contact in previous years. From the phrase; ‘essence of Dadness’, we are presented with a feeling that the boy probably has missed having a fatherly figure next to him, displaying their strange and alien relationship through the story.
Further into the story, we realise the importance of the torch for the family, especially the boy, in emitting hope that somehow they might rebuild their broken relationship. The boy treasures the symbolic possession, stating it is for ‘lighting up the expedition of father and son’. This hopeful sentence evokes sympathy in the reader at how he is desperately trying to convince himself that all is well in their relationship. The sentence could either literally mean that he values the use of a torch, or when looking deeper, we see the boy hopes it might magically rebuild bonds with his father and guide his way.
Elizabeth Baines uses character gestures to show the tense relationship felt between the boy’s mother and father. After describing the man’s uselessness in being a good father, we are told the mum has ‘a choke in her voice’ and ‘a kind of snarl’ suggesting his actions have made her emotional with anger and worry. From this description, we get the idea that their relationship did not end on a good note and she is now left to deal with the consequences of constantly worrying about her son’s safety. In addition to this, the word ‘snarl’ suggests it is almost a primal instinct leading her to dislike her sons father, and the referring her to an animal shows the raw emotion inside of her.
The story uses foreshadowing within the horses on the moor to present how the father and sons relationship is destined to be broken, and is unfixable. The contrasting descriptions of the horse show how the story may turn out badly towards the end. At first, we are told the horse is ‘softly curious’; displaying the innocence of the pairs expedition and intentions. However, we are soon told that the horse ‘looks through dark, deep fringed eyes’, suggesting an almost evil malicious intention despite its innocent appearance at first. This change in character foreshadows the events to come as, despite both father and son wanting the expedition to go well, deep down they both know that their broken relationship is far beyond repair.
Mrs. Taylors Comments: add a paragraph on narrative style and how it shapes our understanding of family relationships

Reana: b.) write about the presentation of family relationships in another story of your choice
In ‘when the wasps drowned’ the presentation of family relationships is highlighted through the use of the 1st person narrative viewpoint, Eveline being the focaliser. The use of this allows Eveline’s emotions to be detained and limited, as the reader observes the world through her eyes. The presentation of Eveline portraying the surrogate mother figure ‘washing up breakfast dishes’, accentuates the absence of their own mother. The reader does feel sympathy for Eveline, who probably does desire for her mum to b around ‘we wait for mum to come home’.
Despite initially feeling sympathy for Eveline after the encounter with the dead body we observe her lack of discipline and disillusioned conscious of morals, this symbolises the necessity of the family having a motherly figure in the home. ‘I think we’d better fill up the hole’, although no anguish or anxiety is shown the reader sees this situation as very peculiar and bizarre at her dismissive behaviour. Similarly, when the police whom symbolise truth and justice come to ask questions ‘we all looked, then shook our heads’. Despite their reluctance to cooperate, this could just be a natural instinct of their vulnerability as they don’t understand the importance of their morals.
The genre of the story would be a physiological mystery as although written in 1st person narrative viewpoint, the use of past tense highlights the distance between Eveline and the reader. This makes her character even more mysterious and eerie as her abuse of power is depicted throughout the story. ‘I took the ring from Therese’s thumb’, conveys the power she has over her siblings as Therese
‘didn’t protest’. However, this could also represent Eveline’s desire to keep her siblings safe away from the knowledge of the dead body.
The unusual behaviour of Eveline could be due to the absence of a motherly figure ‘I wanted mum’s gentle shush in my own ear’, this highlights Eveline to be of an innocent nature instead of a disillusioned being. Although there is a foundation of a family relationship in Eveline’s life, the absence of the mother in the story is highly significant and the writer does this to show the corruption that may occur without the stability and presence of rules and morals in life.
 Mrs. Taylors Comments: Para 1. Eveline is not the focaliser but the narrator. What are we not provided with as a result of it being told exclusively from her perspective?
How are the children/family presented as isolated and self-contained?

Ella: 1a) Write about the way in which setting is presented and its function in Something Old, Something
New
In ‘Something Old, Something New’, the setting is introduced immediately by Leila Aboulela; ‘bonecoloured’ is the first adjective used and initially creates an unsettling tone, which is then followed with
‘a purity in the desert air’. The purity suggests there is tranquillity to the area, which contrasts the morbid idea of the sky representations. This prepares the reader for the forthcoming plot, as the ‘purity’ of the air may symbolise the characters’ love for one another, cast among a dissimilar culture than the narrator is used to. This symbolism could be further insinuated later on along the page, where ‘They began to walk across a car park that was disorganised and dusty’. Here the setting is again a symbolism for the ‘disorganised’ events that occur which consequently disallow their marriage at their desired schedule.
Listing is used by the reader to convey the intense chaos of the scene: ‘voices, noises, car-horns, people crossing the road at random, pausing in the middle [...]’. The ongoing length of the sentence causes it to be read with a fast pace which therefore mimics the narrator’s apprehension of the unfamiliar scene, causing sympathy from the reader.
The Nile is also mildly personified to create anxiety of the setting, through his noticing that ‘the river’s flow was forceful, not innocent, and not playful’. This creates an unsettling tone within the story, implying that there is something menacing within the country that is hidden beneath the external beauty – ‘a child’s blue, a dream’s blue’.
 Mrs. Taylors Comments: this is an excellent answer. If I’m picky (which I am) I would like to see an example of the protagonist in the comfort of the hotel analysed and contrasted with a quote of his response to the outside world – this could become a structural point where the writer uses antithesis to reveal the protagonist’s feelings.

Lucy B: 9a) Write about insecurity from another story of your choice… Something Old, Something New
Leila Aboulela uses symbolism of death to represent the protagonist’s unwillingness and fear to be standing alone as a foreigner in a strange country. The description of the sky makes the country sound very unappealing; “bone coloured sky”. This quote helps the reader to understand why the man does not want to be there and feels ‘on edge’ and insecure standing there alone.
The writer uses language barriers and understanding to show the frustration the focaliser has at communication. The fiancées brother can speak English and so the writer uses this as a device to show the focalisers fear of speaking out of turn. This presents to the reader how the man is insecure about speaking in front of his fiancées family in case he says something unsuitable. “He wanted to say ‘you have no idea how much I ache for you, you have no idea’. But he could not say that, not least because the brother understood English” This shows the reader the fear the protagonist has of saying something that his fiancées family could interpret as disrespectful and therefore not allow the marriage to proceed.
The language represents the focaliser’s insecurity to speak his internal feelings out loud.
Aboulela uses repetition of “foreigner” to show that the focaliser is an outcast of this country. The quote
“How did he judge him?” is also used. This could represent the constant insecurity and reminders the focaliser is experiencing as he stands in the alienated country. The quote “how did he judge him?” could represent the reoccurring worries the man is having about being an outsider. These feelings will make him feel insecure and uncomfortable during his venture into the unknown.
Mrs. Taylors Comments: 1. discuss the symbolism of the henna and how this reveals a growth in confidence at the end
2. How is dialogue used to reveal insecurity?
3. What other differences are evident other than language

Sarah H: 4a) Write about the way in which the writer develops the character of Anil
In the story Anil, The little boy Anil witnesses a murder of a woman which leads to him being exported out of the village, as he’s seen as a threat.
Writer Noor presents the seven year old as an intelligent individual who is seen as a threat to the almighty and powerful headman. In the story, Anil’s father is a bully and Anil has experienced
“wallopings”, suggesting that Anil would be withdrawn, insecure and timid. And, afraid of any men that have authority. But, he proves to be quite the opposite when he courageously tells the headman “He did it. I know he did. I saw it.” (Referring to Marimuthu). Anil innocently tells the headman that Marimuthu killed his wife, with no fear. The short clipped sentences suggest his lack of fear from the murderer and from the consequences of him speaking up. The short sentences also make them fact, and “I know he did” confirms and authenticates his opinion. Anil has developed from being afraid of the dark at the beginning of the story, to now facing the fear of the headman of the village. It’s almost as if he’s learning to defend himself against men like his father and the headman but still has childlike elements.
Nearing the end of the story, the writer takes advantage of Anil’s age and vulnerability by Anil asking his father, “Are you sending me off because I saw him do it?” The device of confrontational questions is used so that his father has to answer honestly because otherwise he will feel guilt of lying to his beloved son. Although his father doesn’t give him a straight answer, Anil knows the answer. Anil’s courage has grown throughout the novel and his wisdom is becoming greater as he has began to understand what type of injustice society he lives in. However, even though Anil has developed in some ways, the reader still sees him as a young undeveloped child as he “sits in the train seat and cries”. The young boy is shown to be very vulnerable and emotional which is expected of a 7 year old, unlike his wisdom and knowledge of surroundings.
In conclusion, Anil develops in the story by becoming more courageous and strong willed but the writer still includes childlike elements such as crying and fear of the dark to remind the reader of the cruel society he has to grow up in.
 Mrs Taylors Comments: fantastic interpretation. Please can you add: a paragraph on how the narrative style shapes reader response to Anil, a paragraph contrasting his hopeful/innocent self (looking at the star) with a suitable contrasting quote from near the end. This can be a structural/ character point.

Hannah F: 8a) Write about the presentation of cultural difference in Something Old Something New.
The author uses Arabic words to emphasise the difference between the two cultures. The man says ‘Will be my wife. Will be insha’ Allah.’ The italics used also emphasise the difference between the two languages and the change in language reminds the reader of the differences in cultures. The man’s use of Arabic shows his willingness to conform to the society he is in. This could be seen as both a positive thing and a negative thing. On one hand it shows his acceptance and willingness to learn and help others whereas on the other hand it shows that he feels forced to conform to the situation he is in. However, the tone of the words ‘will be my wife’ connotates his caring and hope for his future with his fiancée and her repetition of the phrase ‘Insha’ Allah’ suggests the author is using the different languages to show the compatibility of the different cultures and suggesting to the reader the importance of mutual respect and willingness to learn about and accept other cultures.
The author uses the actions and feelings of the man’s parents to show the lack of understanding and denial that some people feel when faced with different cultures. When he tells his mother that he is going to marry the woman he observes that ‘there was a kind of relief in his mother’s eyes.’ He thinks that it is easier for his parents ‘to accept that he was in love with a Muslim girl than it was to accept that he was in love with Islam.’ The quotes show how his parents think that he is being fooled or mislead by the other culture and suggest they don’t fully understand or accept his love for the different culture.
However, they are able to reconcile their lack of understanding of his love of Islam with things that are familiar to them such as love of a partner. The author shows both the differences that are perceived between different cultures and the things which remain constant, although the parents may not understand the different culture and possibly resent it, the reader realises that both cultures can recognise and feel love, showing the universal similarities between all people regardless of culture or religion.
The man sees a ‘kind of’ relief in his mother’s eyes. This less definitive description could suggest to the reader the man is in denial over his parents attitudes and uses ‘kind of’ to deny what he actually sees, it also suggests he does not understand why they should be so relieved. The definite tone of the phrase
‘he was in love with Islam.’ shows the sincerity of the man’s feelings and persuades the reader that he is genuinely happy and places criticism on his less open minded parents. The author aims to draw respect of other people’s beliefs from the reader and question and condone those who do not show the same respect.
Mrs. Taylor’s comments: 1. narrative viewpoint and its effect
2. Character development of the protagonist – find 2 quotes to directly compare/contrast
3. Description of setting

Abi C: 2b) Write about the ways in which description is used in another story of your choice?
In the story “When the Wasp Drowned” description id used throughout to help the reader picture the story in their minds. In lines 15-19 the description of the garden is shown to be very peaceful. also it is almost like what happens outside it doesn’t affect the inside ‘world’ as the writer uses “distant transistors” and “peer over” as the little girl is looking into another place and time where “cars moving slowly” and she can “look across the line of gardens”. These quotes are used to set the mood of the story, and the atmosphere seems to be laid back and relaxed and just like another summers day, but it doesn’t end that way.
In “When the Wasp Drowned” the scene where they find the body uses description to personify the body, “a pale hand reached towards us”, this gives the reader a feeling of eeriness in the air and makes us think how small children such as these have gotten themselves into this morbid situation. Also the words used to describe the hand are technical words that are far more mature language than the little girl is, “mauve in places” and the nails were “chipped and clogged”. This description is used to make the reader question the girl’s knowledge and later leads us to question her moral compass.
In the ending when the police came round the writer uses description to portray the children’s emotions through the description of their actions which evokes empathy in the reader. “both clinging to my bare legs” this shows the reader that after the incident with the body the children are on edge and think that someone is coming to get them for not saying anything to anyone about what they have found. As they have been traumatised by the experience with the dead body they have been having “bad dreams” and her dream was far too frightful for a small child to be able to handle, “the arm growing up from the soil”.
Mrs. Taylors Comments: Develop Para 2 – you need to offer a more precise analysis of all descriptions of the dead body – look at individual language choice and explore connotations and effect on reader.
Are we given description of her internal feelings? How narrates the description? Effect?

Katie: 1a) Write about the way in which setting is presented and its function in Something Old
Something New
The writer Leila Aboulela uses imagery associated with death to present the setting at the beginning of the story. For example on line 3 she writes: ‘bone-coloured sky,’ this creates a negative tone and sets the tone for the story. It makes the reader feel apprehensive about what is going to happen. The word
‘bone’ is associated with death and this foreshadows what is to happen later in the story.
The writer uses the man’s actions to show how he is isolated and far away from the people he knows back in the familiar setting of Scotland. For example on line 5 she writes: ‘he had crosses boundaries and seas’. This action shows how far he has gone to be with his future wife and the word ‘seas’ creates a large image in the readers mind which emphasises how isolated the man is and also how much of a stranger the man is to the new country he is in.
The writer uses the description of the Westernised hotel to show how the man is comforted by a more familiar setting. For example on line 60 she writes: ‘the cool tingling blast of the air-conditioning, music playing, and expanse of marble’. These things are all familiar to the man which contrasts to the setting at the beginning of the story. This contrast emphasises how nervous and worried the man is about being in a new setting because one he was in a familiar setting of the hotel ‘He felt soothed’.
Mrs. Taylor’s comments: next step: paragraph 1 – develop this analysis to link to the protagonist’s feelings – description reveals his relationship and attitude to the place and her identity. Why perceive the place as deathly? Also what is the narrative style of the story – what are the impacts of this on setting?
Find other quotes from the story that we didn’t mention in the lesson to analyse

Sara: 5a) Write about the way in which the writer uses a story within a story in ‘On seeing the 100% perfect girl
Murakami writes this story in first person and in the form of an internal monologue, allowing the reader to be conscious of the man’s true feelings, however the story within the story is written in third person.
This creates a clear divide between real life and the man’s imagination and acts as a way to distance himself from the story, allowing him to explore the possibilities objectively through this fictional identity. This lack of responsibility for even his own thoughts reflects his insecurity, this is also demonstrated as he scorns at his own attempt at seduction ‘Ridiculous. I’d sound like an insurance salesman’.
The writer uses the structure of the story within the story to reflect ideas about love. Despite starting with a fairytale like theme ‘Once upon a time, there lived a boy and a girl’, the story does not follow the conventional fairytale story structure. The tale is misleading, unsatisfying and unpredictable as despite being 100% perfect for each other, the boy and girl do not end up together. This ending conveys ideas that the man has about conventional love, and presents a realistic view of modern day love, suggesting there are no longer fairy tales such as these ‘a sad story, don’t you think?’. However, despite the story itself being unrealistic, the idea to fantasize and over analyse situations is quite common within society, making it more accessible to the reader.
Murakami uses literal and figurative language in the story within the story to dramatise the content and express himself. During the ‘real’ section of the story, straight forward vocabulary is used with minimal description ‘Good looking?’ […] ‘Not really’. However during the story within the story figurative language is used, ‘the cold indifferent waves of fate proceeded to toss them unmercifully’ conveying the idea that the boy and girls meeting and separation is as inevitable as the waves, and ‘unmercifully’ creates the idea that ‘fate’ is unconcerned for the individual. The idea that fate is controlling his actions reiterates the man’s feelings of powerlessness at controlling the direction of his life, and offers a scapegoat.
Mrs. Taylor’s comments: Next step:
1. how is the structure of this story unconventional? What is dominant – the story or the story within the story? How does this story challenge the beginning/middle/end we would expect from a short story?

2. What genre is this story? Is it narrative driven? A character study? A fable? Social commentary?
Other?
Stacey: 9a) Write about the presentation of insecurity in “On seeing the 100% Perfect Girl”?
During this story there is very little almost no dialect. This presents the feeling to the reader that the protagonist has very little confidence about talking to other people and in doing, creates his own demise as he fails to convince himself to talk to his “100% Perfect Girl”.
We get the sense that the protagonist is insecure as he questions himself throughout the story. “How can I approach her? What should I say?” This gives a sense that he has little confidence in himself and doesn’t trust what he is saying. This also gives the sense to the reader that he hasn’t really done this before and so doesn’t know what to do. This immediately would make him less confident in talking to her and so more insecure.
The first part of the story is written in the first person where we hear the protagonist’s internal speech.
This allows us to see the story from the man’s point of view. However, this also lets us see the most private aspects of the man’s personality which we wouldn’t normally see. “Ridiculous. I’d sound like an insurance salesman” This shows his self doubt and questionable nature. This makes the reader feel sympathetic for the man as he is so insecure and anxious about talking to the girl. However, it also makes him seem quite pathetic as he can’t bring himself to talk to her.
The bulk of the story is made up of the man telling a story about what he should have said. “Once upon a time” beginning symbolises the typical fairytale story and would typically foreshadow a “happily ever after”. However, in line 62 the man says “it would have started “Once upon a time” and ended “A sad story, don’t you think””. This shows his insecurities as he has told himself that even the most perfect speech to say to her, would have ended badly. This portrays a sense that the man is his own worst enemy as he doesn’t believe in himself and has very little confidence.
Mrs. Taylor’s comments: A very strong answer. Well done.
Para 1- it is dialogue I think you mean, not dialect?
Try and write a paragraph exploring what precisely he seems insecure about

Jasmine: 7b) Write about the presentation of the abuse of power in Anil.
Ridjal Noor presents the abuse of power in ‘Anil’ mainly through the key characters of the story:
Marimuthu, ‘the headman’s brother’, Anil’s ‘illiterate, uneducated father who is both ‘a bully to his family and a timid mouse to the headman’ and Anil himself, ‘the only son of […] the village headman’s servant’. This descending hierarchy is emphasised in the extent of character development in each individual: Anil is forced to grow up and ‘act like a man’ and his abusive father reveals his sentimental personality when he is diminished to ‘a bent, despaired figure that had just let go of his only son’, yet the headman remains ‘stoic and unmoving’ – both physically and emotionally – regardless of the plot development. These descriptions suggest to the reader that the headman and his brother expect the lesser members of the community to adapt their personalities to revolve around their every whim, henceforth abusing their position of power at the expense of others. Anil’s name itself derives from
‘ever-changing’ in Arabic, so Noor’s decision to name the story after this attribute symbolically reinforces this interpretation and the inevitability of this unjust societal order in similar village communities.
The author further conveys the repercussions of this abuse of power through the use of the third person narrative, such as when ‘Anil watched, numbed from the horror’ – the objective view of the ‘hiding of the truth’ strengthens the reader’s attitude towards the corruption as it is viewed from an unbiased perspective, especially when the boy’s emotions are portrayed through physical reactions such as the aforementioned ‘numbed’. However, Anil is used as a focaliser throughout; providing an insight on the boy’s internal thoughts, such as ‘stop the train!’ evokes empathy in the reader for his tragic circumstance, allowing the abuse of power to be conveyed on a more personal level. Similarly, Noor’s choice to view Anil externally isolates him from the reader, highlighting his vulnerable position to the same effect.
Mrs. Taylor’s comments: Next step – 1. Anil’s reaction and dialogue in the story’s denouement – his powerlessness 2. Does the writer want the reader to condemn Anil’s father?

Molly: Q3 (a) Write about the way in which narrative voice is created in My Polish Teacher’s Tie.
“My Polish Teacher’s Tie” by Helen Dunmore is written in first person narrative viewpoint, allowing the reader to immediately empathise with the single protagonist character Carla, a lunchtime assistant on a salary of “£3.89 per hour” dishing out tea and buns to the teachers twice a day and shovelling chips on to the children’s trays at lunch time.
By writing in first person narrative viewpoint, Dunmore allows the reader to feel an instantaneous involvement in the story, instead of being passive and only being told it. The first phrase to the short story “I wear a uniform” straight away helps the reader imagine the situation and begin to understand Carla’s circumstances, personally I feel by writing in first person, it is much easier to empathise and sympathise with Carla as we feel she is a real person instead of just a character in a story.
Carla’s perceptive overview of life, of course written in first person monologue, helps the reader desire more optimism for her character and the reader feels more hope for her as by writing in first person, Dunmore is allowing the reader to really understand the characteristics and personality traits of Carla as we can read her speech as well as thoughts: “I saw him thinking, trouble.” shows how aware Carla is of other people’s actions and how wary and insecure she truly is. If the writer had written, “she saw him thinking (…)” the reader would not have felt as much empathy for her because we wouldn’t have seen her as a real person and wouldn’t relate to her in such an easy, obvious way.
Additionally, first person narrative viewpoint has allowed the reader to see the pride Carla has in her pen-friend much better than if the story was written in 3rd person. The title of the story itself “My Polish Teacher’s Tie” shows how possessive and important Carla sees her pen friend, to call him “my”, additionally “Polish” is the adjective used to describe the teacher and defines his identity in Carla’s own, personal way.
Moreover, it is easy to find the story realistic and naturalistic and thus relate to the story, as the frequent repetition of “I” and “My” reiterate Carla’s mundane everyday life as something boring yet realistic. This alongside the narration of Carla’s thoughts, such as “When Steve’s first letter came I saw he’d taken it for granted I was a teacher” help the reader understand the realness of staff relationships and consequently the reader is able to recognise characters as who they truly are, thanks to Carla’s thoughts.
Mrs. Taylor’s comments: Next step: narrative voice is different to narrative viewpoint. You should deal with narrative viewpoint but also you need to look at the tone of her internal thoughts, the language she uses and what this reveals about her, her dominant sentence mood (commands/ statements/exclamatives/ questions), any literary devices she uses…
1. Analyse the quote at the end of paragraph one – what does the language /tone reveal about her?
2. Develop paragraph 2 – what relationship is forged here with reader – confiding? Who or what does it make us

criticise or sympathise with – specifically?
3. Paragraph on her language
4. Any example of ironic tone
Hannah P: 1b) write about the way in which setting is presented and its function in another story of your choice
In the story Anil written by Ridjal Noor the setting is introduced immediately by ‘on a hot sweltering night in the middle of march’ which tells you all the important details of the place where the story is set which helps the reader to imagine the situation that Anil is in. when it says ‘the mosquitoes where in their reign of terrorism’ sets a unsettling tone for the reader as they don’t know why they are in the reign of terrorism and it also could be foreshadowing the events that are upcoming in the story.
‘there was a little village where the villagers kept themselves in little huts’ which shows that everything thing is not materialised as it is all described as ‘little’ which is traditional for the huts in villages as there isn’t enough room for big houses. The function of the setting is to symbolise the tradition in this village where Anil lives. ‘The thatched roof of the hut where there are many holes in the ceiling’, the holes could suggest the discloser of some problems that are in the village and also a thatched roof is never a final and permanent solution which conveys that Anil’s place in the village is not permanent as it says
‘his eyes were transfixed’ which means that he didn’t want to not look at it and see what could come of his time in this village.
Mrs. Taylor’s comments: Next step:
1. analyse the language in the first quote and interpret its effect
2. What do the mosquitoes symbolism?
3. What is signified by the change of setting for Anil at the end?

Natalie: 4b) Write about the way in which a writer develops an individual character in another story of your choice
In the story ‘My Polish Teachers Tie’, Dunmore develops the character of Carla through the way that she addresses herself. At the beginning of the story, Carla defines herself as ‘pat time catering staff, hats me,
£3.89 per hour’. By defining herself by her job Carla is shown as someone who keeps herself to herself and feels very isolated from society as though she’s not good enough to be associated with the other staff members who ‘don’t wear blue overalls and white caps and work for £3.89 per hour’. Her selfworth has improved much by the end of the story where she introduces herself to Steve as Carla. ‘I’m
Carla’ shows how she has realised she should be proud of who she is and where she comes from as she’s no longer giving an impersonal introduction.
The internal monologue given to Carla shows her opinion on the school. The use of sarcasm ‘Very keen on fairness, we are, here’, evokes a spiteful tone in Carla’s opinion by using the ironic phrase to show how the school treat her unfairly and don’t recognise her as a person. This is ironic as in the denouement she ‘wasn’t going to waste time on the head’ showing how she too feels some people are more worth her time than others, which is why she was upset earlier in the story. This connotates how she has grown in confidence as a character throughout the story and meeting Steve.
Mrs. Taylors comment: Next step: paragraph on symbolism of the tie and what it reveals about her development

Scarlett: 8b) Write about the presentation in cultural difference in another story of your choice.
The author uses the first person narrative viewpoint in ‘My Polish Teachers Tie’ to present the difference in culture between the two characters. When Carla and Steve first meet properly, we only see Carla’s point of view, which allows us to understand how different this is for her. ‘Then he did something I still can’t quite believe.’ (line163) This line shows how she was taken by surprise, even if this was a common action to him. We are hindered slightly, due to the fact that we do not hear about his side of the story, explaining why we did it, but because the action is uncommon in Carla’s culture, it presents the difference between the two.
Dunmore uses symbolism as a device to present the cultural difference shown between Carla and Steve.
The extended metaphor of his tie is used to portray Steve’s culture and background. Line 140 shows
Valerie Kenward insulting Steve to a work colleague. ‘And his ties!’ The use of the exclamation point and italics show that she is mocking him, and where he comes from. This shows how alien this man must be in their culture, as he could feel they are to him. When – in line 175 – Carla tells Steve ‘I like your tie’ it shows us that she is accepting him, which we would have expected because of her sharing in some of his culture as a child as she explains to us in the fourth paragraph of the story.
Mrs. Taylor’s comments: Next steps:
Write a paragraph on how she talks about her Polish heritage
Write a paragraph on how she finds herself joining in with the Polish song.

5b) Write about the way in which the writer uses a story within a story in another story of your choice.
Penelope Lively uses ironic dialect from Mrs Rutter for Mrs Rutter to describe her story in ‘The
Darkness Out There’. She describes the reason for her to not ‘bike to the village’ to get help for soldiers that were hurt in the aeroplane was because it was ‘pouring cats and dogs’. The colloquial, metaphoric language portrays Mrs Rutter as a friendly and easy going individual, which contrasts to her vindictive and severe actions that she is talking about.
Lively uses Mrs Rutter’s audience’s frequency of questions to suggest Mrs Rutter’s dominance in the conversation regarding her anecdote. The short, interrogative sentences of ‘Noise?’ and
‘you what?’ express Sandra and Kerry’s shock and want for more information on Mrs Rutter’s story. This along with Lively using a number of ellipses to show Mrs Rutter eagerly interrupting any other of their other questions for instance when Sandra begins to ask ‘How awful, weren’t they…’ and Mrs Rutter interrupts with ‘so we got up closer…’, to show Mrs Rutter’s love for attention by telling her story.
Lively uses Mrs Rutter’s actions from the beginning of her story to the end to show how
Sandra’s naivety is lessened, expressing the theme of coming of age. At the beginning, Sandra perceives Mrs Rutter as a woman that ‘patted the corner of her mouth delicately with a tissue’, however after she learns how she left soldiers to die because it was a ‘filthy wet night’, Sandra sees how Mrs Rutter ‘licked her lips; her eyes darting’. ‘Licked her lips’ connotates an evil hunger while reminiscing of the past, while ‘eyes darting’ gives a sense of her excessive need for a reaction from her audience, as well as ‘darting’ adding to a violent image of Mrs Rutter’s passive viciousness in leaving a group of young men to die.
Next step: it needed an introductory paragraph to introduce what the story within the story actually is – what is the time scale between present and past / how does it link to the story’s genre / what occurs in the story?

Sophie: 7a) write about the presentation of the abuse of power in ‘When the Wasps drowned
Clare Wigfall presents the main character of her short story as abusing her power though being the oldest child. The nameless character is shown to be dominant and demanding over her younger siblings this is shown through the characters internal thought ‘I took the ring from Therese’s thumb and slipped it on to my index finger. She didn’t protest.’ This suggests that the nameless character is self indulged and she knows that as she is the oldest of the children and is in charge while her mum is at work she is able to abuse her role by getting what she wants. This makes the reader feel as if this character is abusing her power and this makes the nameless character seem selfish.
Clare Wigfall ends her short story ‘When the Wasps drowned’ by the nameless character lying to the police about knowing where the missing girl is. The presentation of abuse of power is shown through this as she and her younger siblings are the only ones who know about where the missing girl is ‘Do you think you might of seen this girl.’ ‘We all looked and shock our heads.’ this may imply to the reader that she is young and scared but also creates a channel of thoughts as the story carries on to say ‘My fingers, fiddling unconsciously, played with the ring [...]Taking Therese and Tyler by the hand, i turned and we stepped back out into the sunlight of the garden’ This suggests the young nameless character had second thoughts about lying; then goes straight ‘back out into the sunlight on the grass’ This shows the nameless character abusing her power and making decisions. ‘Taking Therese and Tyler by the hand’ suggests a sense of maturity and mother like actions showing the power the nameless character has. As the she still wears the ring proves my point in my last paragraph that she is self indulged.
 Mrs. Taylor’s comments: This is excellent AO1 but lacks specific AO2 devices (other than the nameless character point). Speak to Tanoa about which other devices are used and then add another two paragraphs.