The Crucible Essay
Some of you did commit treason
against yourself—you did the right
deed (completing the essay), but
for the wrong reason: obedience to
authority rather than to do your
best for your own education.
Some Statistics—Grades
93-100
“6”
3/59
5%
85-92
“5”
17/59
29%
77-84
“4”
13/59
22%
70-76
“3”
17/59
29%
60-69
“2”
7/59
12%
Below 60
“1”
2/59
3%
Class Avg.: 78 Required Rewrites: 9
Some Statistics—Grades in
June if No Improvement
93-100
“6”
1/59
2%
85-92
“5”
7/59
12%
77-84
“4”
18/59
31%
70-76
“3”
17/59
29%
60-69
“2”
12/59
20%
Below 60
“1”
4/59
7%
What this means for passing the Regents:
12 will fail; 21 will have to get 24/25 on the
multiple choice in order to pass—if there is no
improvement (based on last June’s test)
Evaluation Criteria
 Meaning: understanding of the quote and text—proper
application of the quote accurate details and analysis of
the literature
 Development: level of discussion/detail provided—
accurate specific details focusing on the thesis—the
quote in this case (but not plot summary)
 Organization: structure and argumentation—proper
thesis, topic sentences, transitions, etc,
 Language use: level of diction, appropriateness of
language—sentence structure, word choice, no slang
 Conventions: grammar, spelling, etc.
What Needs to Improve
 Essay Titles: Capitalize properly, make them
descriptive
Crucible Essay
Intention and Morality
Deed and Reason: The Morality of Intention in The
Crucible
 Play Title: Italicize
 Introduction Format: Follow the instructions given
 Interpeting the Lens: Go beyond mere restatement
 Focus on the Critical Lens: Refrain from merely
narrating the plot of the story—use only those details
needed to make your point in each body paragraph.
What Needs to Improve
 Topic Sentences: Each one should connect the critical
lens to the specific point of the paragraph. Consider:
John Proctor first signed the confession, but then
ripped it up.
Narrative
John Proctor is a good example of the critical lens.
Vague
When he tears up his confession, Proctor does
what many would consider to be a good deed but
for the wrong reason.
Provides a good connection between the play and the
critical lens
What Else Needs to Improve
 Accurate Details from the Play:
Hale did not come to Salem to accuse witches
Hale was not convinced that Elizabeth was innocent when she
was arrested—though he did clearly have his doubts
Proctor admitted the affair to Elizabeth before the start of the
play
Danforth is not Parris or Hathorne
Abby does not accuse Proctor of witchcraft or lechery
Giles Corey was not “pressed” to confess or to “name names”
Elizabeth does not convince Proctor to confess
Elizabeth does not convince Proctor not to confess
Elizabeth does not want Proctor dead.
Other Issues to Consider—
Diction/Mechanics
 Quote accurately—it is right in front of you;
 Spell names properly—Procter, Marry, Paris,
Abbey, Abigal, Hall
 Eliminate slang—wording such as “kids,” “mess
up,” and even “ok” are low in diction and should not
be used in formal writing;
 Capitalize properly and Use apostrophes—you
know these rules
 Proofread—consider “defiantly/definitely”
 Conclusions—keep them brief. Restate your main
idea and provide closure—two or three sentences.
What We Will Learn—
in time to come . . .
 Opening lines that move the essay forward
 Interpreting the critical lens more effectively
 Ordering your arguments effectively
Writing Topic Sentences that analyze rather than
merely narrate
 Blending quotes properly into your text
Writing Sophisticated Transitions that unify your
essay.
Using high level diction to write like college-bound
young adults rather than “hormone riddled middle
schoolers”
Rewrites
You must rewrite if your grade was below 70
You may rewrite if your grade was 70 or above
Make significant changes, not just the easy
cosmetic ones (Get help!)
Upload your new draft to the rewrite link on
Moodle
Due: Thursday, Oct. 25 by 5:25 pm