I Care About You: How to have the Difficult Conversation

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Step Up!
Intervention Skills Training
 By the end of this session you will:
 be able to identify general symptoms of a student
with a mental health concern.
 know how to employ active listening skills to assist
a student in distress
 know a five-step process to confront a student with
a mental health problem
 Behavioral issues are common
 Change often takes a long time
 The pace of change is variable
 Knowledge is usually not sufficient to motivate
change
 Relapse is the norm
1. Notice the Event
2. Interpret the Event as a Problem/
Emergency
3. Assume Personal Responsibility
4. Know How To Help
5. Implement the Help
Latane, B., Darley, J.M. (1970)
Susie Bruce
1. Surroundings
2. Red flags
3. Others’ reactions
Academic indicators
Interactional indicators
Physical indicators
Safety risk indicators
1. Investigate ambiguity.
2. Perspective taking
1. If not you, who?
2. Say you’ll help - OUT LOUD
3. Ask others!
“We’ll skip that rubbish” ---Adey Bryant
 Clarifying
 Giving feedback
 Verbal and non-verbal communication
 Use of “I” statements is imperative
 Make eye contact (but be culturally sensitive)
 Project comfortable body language
 Face peer and make appropriate eye contact
 Be aware of other non-verbals
• Placement of arms
• Leaning forward
• Head nodding
• Smiling
• Personal Space
 Ways to Paraphrase
• What I hear you saying is…
• In other words….
• So basically how you felt was…
• What happened was…
• Sounds like you are feeling…
 Ask questions if person is unclear
 Ask open-ended questions
 Avoid closed questions that require “yes” or “no”
response
 Comment on the person’s concern
 If a person asks a question, answer the question
directly
 Use silence to person’s benefit
 Recognize that everyone has different life
experiences.
 Try to find a way to empathize even when the
person’s life experiences differ dramatically from
your own.
 Monitor your reactions to what your peer has to say
 Feedback should be given in a non-judgmental,
honest, and supportive way
 Be a supportive, but neutral listener (this
enhances self-disclosure)
 Be careful of your own judgments and
stereotypes – be aware of your own biases
 Put yourself in the other person’s shoes
 Assumptions- assumptions are often not
accurate and prevent focusing on your peer
 Silent Counter-Arguments- Try not to formulate
a counter-argument while the message is still en
route
 Distractions- minimize external and internal
distractions and interruptions
Correcting misinformation
Stopping dangerous behavior
Not being a passive bystander
Motivating others to less harmful behaviors
 Accepting or encouraging problem behaviors
 Excusing high risk problems or choices
 Rescuing from problems
1. Know resources
2. Plan & practice
Safe
Early
Effective
I care
I see
I feel
I want
I will
*Source: The BACCHUS Network’s Certified Peer Educator Training
 Why am I doing this?
 Because I care
 Continue the discussion
 End with emphasizing that you care
 “Sandwich” the negative with the positive
 Report what you actually observed
 Don’t rely on the report of others
 Criticize the behavior NOT the person
 More is better
 “Just the facts, ma’am”
 Report how the behavior made you feel
 Use “I” statements: When you…I feel scared for
you, worried about you, sad
 Don’t talk about how others feel
 Be honest
 What is a reasonable first step?
 Not “I want you to stop drinking”
 Think about what would help the other person
make a decision to change: talking to a
counselor, going to an AA meeting (maybe
with you), talking to a parent/pastor/mentor
 Be ready for resistance: roll
Intention to change
 “What might be some advantages of change?
• “On a scale of 0 to 10, how important is it for
you to change? ”
•
“Why didn't you say… (1 or 2 points lower)?”
Resistance is a normal
reaction
Response? Roll with it!
• Reflective responses
• Reframe the resistance
• Emphasize the right to disagree
• Emphasize personal choice and
control
 Your commitment to your friend
 Be careful to only commit to what you can
realistically follow through on
 Be careful to commit to “support” and not to
“take ownership”
 Positive & Negative: like a contract
 Recognizing dangerous situations; not all
situations will be clear cut
• Harm to self or others
 If harm is threatened, then break
confidentiality appropriately
 Never make a blanket promise of
confidentiality
 If in doubt, seek advice from someone who is
more experienced in risk assessment
 Does person feel capable of following through?
 Make sure all information given about referral is
correct
 Students have the right to refuse the referral
Enabling
Taking on something too big
Internalizing the issue
Incurring legal liability
1. If you’re safe, then STEP UP!
2. Be the first!
3. Set group standards
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