Have psycho T ready Handouts (pic & write-up) Between red slides is one hour of session. Thomas.mcintyre@hunter.cuny.edu 1 “Do Now” Activity Think of an argument/battle that you got into with someone (student, spouse, colleague) that lasted more than a few sentences. Did your actions become more heated and forceful as the other person failed to “give in”? THEN… Jot down notes that describe the sequence of events. What action brought out the 1st negative comment? How then did the other person react? How did the 1st party respond to that 2nd person’s action? Etcetera. 2 “Copy the material from the board.” Psycho-T video In the short term (and long term), who “won”? – Were hearts & minds won over? – Were relationships built & “trust bonds” cemented? – Will the “show of force” “teach the kid a lesson”? Which teacher actions worsened the situation? 3 The Beatings Will Continue Until Morale Improves. “Getting tough” with persistently defiant, non-compliant kids is counter productive. These youngsters don’t succumb to coercion… Rather, they are incited by it. If our penalties are harsh & consistently applied, we might possibly be able to subdue the rebellion & create a non-motivated, withdrawn kid (ala Driekurs’) …a hollow victory for educators. 4 Why Do Otherwise Caring Professionals “Lose Their Cool” With These Kids ? (and colleagues, supervisors, & loved ones) Inadequate training in respectful, supportive, nonconfrontational ways to manage behavior. Unappreciated or ineffective efforts drain our energy, make us doubt our competence, & build dislike for persistent offenders. Life events lower our ability to handle frustration. Their actions violate our value system. Unresolved personal or professional issues of our own. These circumstances can cause us to strike out at our students when they don’t quickly & fully comply (stage 3) . 5 Self discipline isn’t taught in obedience school. 6 The ways of “tough teachers”: -aren’t needed with most kids, & -don’t work at all with the “difficult” ones. Skilled, knowledgeable & caring educators do what they’re paid to do: Teach Inspire To promote positive behavior change & motivation, “tough” stage-3 teachers must change to more effective & positive ways. However, it’s hard to convince negative teachers of the faults of their ways. They commonly respond with: 7 What ?! Me Change?! THEY’RE the problem. (not me). 8 It take two to --------------tangle tango Might we be playing a role in: – Recurring situations? – Escalating battles? Let’s look at the situation again and break it down… 9 Student’s Experience 1. Stressor/Threat or Comforter from Adult 2. 3. 1. 1. 2. 2. Toward Self or Adult 3. 3. 1. 2. 3. 10 Teams: Using your “Student” diagram… Let’s watch the scenario develop again. It opens with the student’s “observable action” (bottom disk on diagram). What might have caused the stress (top disk) & the secondary feelings that then developed from it (right side disk)? How does the adult react to the observable behavior? Does the adult reaction reduce or increase psychological pressure on the student? 11 1. Teacher angrily chastises & insults student’s failure to copy from board 2. More stress piled on Stressor/Threat or Comforter from Adult 3. More stress placed on student 4. Stress reduced 1. Resentment builds from earlier incident that resulted in drawing. 1. Teacher continues chastisement & comparisons with others 2. Resentment increases 3. Hurt?? 4. Relief & retaliation 2. Teacher continues insults & reminisces negatively (“another time of no work done”. 3. Teacher tells to leave (attempt to “win” OR wants “escape”?) “PsychoTeacher”: Student’s Experience 1. Shows restraint, but remains off task 2. Student uses aggressive humor (“nap”) 3. Shuts out teacher 4. Leave classroom 12 End of Part 1 About 50 min to 1 hour has elapsed to this point. 13 Your “Do Now” Activity (You wouldn’t fail to engage in something that you require your students to do at the beginning of each class… Would you?) Think of a situation in which tension, anxiety, & surging emotions were part of the scenario, but an action or response on the part of someone calmed the situation. If familiar with the conflict cycle model from last session; how does your situation fit with the model? 14 “It’s Deja’ Vu all over again.” (Yogi Berra, NY Yankees Baseball Hall of Fame Catcher) For the next 45-50 minutes… Quick refresher of the “Conflict Cycle” model Adding another part to the model Applying the model to the world of EBD kids & those who work with them (That’s us.) What’s coming in our future sessions 15 Revisiting the Conflict Cycle Looking back at what we covered last time (part 1): – Reasons why caring professionals get angry & strike out at students they are pledged to serve – Problems that escort punishment. Only benefit: Deterrent for kids who are, at moment, rational & calm Our kids often aren’t in this state of mind when punishment is being threatened or implemented. – Overview of “Conflict Cycle” model (minus 1 important part) – Application of the model to a video (“Psycho-teacher”) (Part 2 of the Conflict Cycle is upcoming) 16 Why Do Otherwise Caring Professionals “Lose Their Cool” With These Kids ? (and our colleagues, supervisors, & loved ones) Inadequate training in respectful, supportive, & nonconfrontational ways to manage behavior. Ineffective or unappreciated efforts drain our energy, make us doubt our competence, & build dislike for persistent offenders. Life events lower our ability to handle frustration. Their actions violate our value system. Unresolved personal or professional issues of our own. These circumstances can cause us to strike out at our students when they don’t quickly & fully comply (stage 3) . 17 Which problems accompany the use of punishment? Emotional (or physical) harm can result. The kids: -Fear you. -Dislike you. -Think that you don’t like them. -Avoid you -Become sneakier so they don’t get caught. The punishment may not outweigh the rewards brought by the behavior. The “punishment” might actually be a reinforcer. Punishment does not teach inner control & better behaviors, so the same ones keep popping up. 18 What ?! Me Change?! THEY’RE the problem. (not me). 19 See kids as the enemy? OK… Let’s talk that lingo Sun Tzu & his principles: (The Art of War, 530 B.C). – (Previously) Never conduct a frontal attack on an opponent who possesses equal or greater force (like “Psycho-Teacher” attempted to do). – Break the enemy's resistance without fighting. – It is best to capture the enemy intact (rather than destroyed) & convince them of your cause – The greatest victory is to win without having battled. Sun Tzu’s practices (in preparation for action): – Gather information on your adversary. – Use this information to inform your actions & reach your goals with minimal loss (to self or others). 20 Informed Actions: Nick Long, Sun Tzu, & You Please find your “Explanation of the Conflict Cycle” page 21 1. Teacher angrily chastises & insults student’s failure to copy from board Stressor/Threat or Comforter from Adult 2. More stress piled on 3. More stress placed on student “PsychoTeacher”: Student’s Experience 4. Stress reduced 1. Resentment builds from earlier incident that resulted in drawing. 2. Resentment increases 1. Teacher continues chastisement & comparisons with others 3. T comments caused hurt & negative self reflection?? 4. Relief & retaliation 2. Teacher continues insults & reminisces negatively (“another time of no work done”. 3. Teacher tells to leave (attempt to “win” OR “escape”?) 1. Shows restraint, but remains off task 2. Student uses aggressive humor (“nap”) 3. Shuts out teacher 4. Leave classroom 22 Stressor/Threat or Comforter from Adult How can we intervene professionally at each step? 1. 2. 3. Toward Self or Adult 23 Stressor/Threat or Comforter from student 1. “Psycho-Teacher: Adult’s Experience 2. 3. 1. 2 3. Student/ Peer Reaction Adult’s Feelings 1. 2. 3. Adult’s Observable Behavior 1. 2. 3. 24 “Psycho-Teacher” This time, let’s look at the conflict cycle from the teacher’s viewpoint. -What is her stressor? (opening moments) -What feelings result? -What observable action is witnessed? -How does the student respond? -Is the cycle defused or escalated by the student? TEAMS: On your handouts, identify what occurred at each part of the cycle. Go around the cycle at least twice. Psycho-T video clip here 25 Stressor/Threat or Comforter from student Adult’s Experience 1. Sees rendition of her 2. Fails to agree & return to task (more stress) 3. Stress piled on 4. Stress increases 5. MORE OR LESS STRESS? (Doubt actions or relief from exit?) 1.Student restrains self. “So” uttered by Student’s him. Adult’s Feelings Reaction 2. Witty attack humor 2. Professionally offended 3. Uncertainty 3. Student shakes head & fails to engage in task. 4. Student leaves. 1. Personally & professionally offended Adult’s Observable Behavior 1. Chastises & ridicules the lack of on-task behavior. Tells student to copy from board. 2. Continues to criticize, points out error, & compares to other students. Speaks for class. 3. Interprets feelings for class, reminisces back to negatives (“…another time of no work done”), & continues criticism. 4. Tells student to leave classroom. 26 Flip Side Teams: Last time, we talked about what the adult did “wrong” that escalated the crisis situation. Now, let’s flip the pancake… Specifically… What could the adult have done to: 1. Prevent the conflict OR 2. De-escalate the situation at various points in the escalating battle? Come back to our larger group with at least one “preventer” & two “de-escalators” to contribute to our discussion. 27 Backing up the bus What do we & the students bring to the table? What factors influence our responses when we’re under stress? 28 29 Blowing away the smoke & tossing aside the mirrors Despite what was initially evident to Dorothy & her escorts during a powerful, attention drawing event… 30 DO pay attention to the man behind the curtain! Attempt to gain an understanding of the factors that have influenced this student’s response to events (i.e., “Behavior pattern”). 31 Rousseau, Freud, God, & others Whether you believe that we’re born – “Tabla rosa” (“blank slate”, waiting for society to write upon you) – Inherently evil (Hobbes & Freud’s view; “original sin” Biblical view) – Inherently good (John Locke, Rousseau), all of the views have a point in common… the recognition of the massive influence of society (parents, teachers, media) on who one becomes. -loyal, friendly, trustworthy, & cooperative versus -disloyal, manipulative, untrustworthy, & uncooperative Kids become what society has “trained” them to be. – Systematically versus Haphazardly – Informed positive guidance versus Badly “winging it” due to incompetence, misinformation, or lack of information. 32 Many Kids Have Low Self Esteem & Negative Self Concepts Due To? (1st rectangle of cycle) • Rotten childhoods filled with negative experiences. •Abuse, neglect, and/or consistent messages of rejection. •Inconsistency due to multiple care-takers using very different practices, and/or giving very different messages. •Inconsistent caretaking from primary adults who are: •alcoholic/substance addicted •mentally ill (unmanaged) •manic-depressive (unmanaged) •negatively oriented authoritarian personalities •incompetent due to lack of childrearing knowledge. 33 Rotten Childhoods (continued): Reiterated negative labels & messages – “You rude little son of a b----. When I catch you, I’ll…” – “You little criminal. You’re going to end up dead or in jail someday.” – “Man, you’re strange.” – “Why don’t you use your head once in a while? Stupid!” – “What’s wrong with you, anyway? Get outta my face before I…” – “You little loser. Why can’t you be like Fran?” – “You evil little beast! I’ll beat the devil out of you!” Client to psychologist friend of mine when the parent was asked what he does when his 10 year old son acts up: “I tell him he’s an a- -h-le.” 34 Due to those painful or unpredictable childhood experiences, “irrational” beliefs form about oneself & others (2nd rectangle in the Cycle) Based on their inconsistent &/or negative history of happenings, they interpret happenings differently than most people. They view those events through a distorted lens. Their (re)actions reflect those misperceptions. 35 Next Time & Rest of the Year Effective strategies for: – Avoiding conflict – Escaping conflict – Promoting cooperation & compliance – Bonding & connecting to relationship-resistant kids 36 Your “Do Now” Activity (You wouldn’t fail to engage in something that you require your students to do at the beginning of each class… Would you?) Consider the upcoming holidays. Most families report some level of stress accompanying the joy. Given that EBD kids are more likely than other kids to come from dysfunctional homes, is their anything that educators can do to: Help kids prepare Help kids cope 37 38 In the beginning… Life at home Among kids with EBD, there is an unusually high occurrence of childrearing that is: – Disorganized (No clear life lessons regarding civility & proper deportment) – Inconsistent (Lack of boundaries & life lessons taught) – Harsh (Models aggression towards others) – Wrongly practiced (Supportive talk phrased incorrectly) In a future session: Counterproductive phrasing of: – Expectations – Praise – Criticism – References to a child’s character traits… by teachers too 39 The Perceptions That Might Develop From Maltreatment, Neglect, Rejection • “My parents treated me badly.” (Fact) •“I can’t count on my parents to care for me or treat me well.” (Fact) • “I was treated badly because I am a bad person. Because I’m ‘BAD’, no one could ever like me, care for me, or treat me well.” (Distorted/Irrational belief) •“You say that you want to help me, but I know adults… When I show you why I’m not likeable, you’ll quickly reject & hurt me like my parents (and past teachers). (Usually plays out that way, further ingraining the identity & reaction pattern) • You say you’re different… While I hope that is true, you’ll have to PROVE IT! ” (over & over again as I seek reassurance that you really are different). Brick. Waco & M. Home. 40 Home for the Holidays: Do common media & literature images of the holidays match the lives of our EBD students? The effect? 41 The knife is there. Don’t twist it. “No nonsense”, “zero-tolerance”, “tough”, & “mean” teachers blame the victim for the “crime”. Children have no choice as to the homes into which they are born. They didn’t choose their life circumstances. Kids have little control over the things that will influence them during their young lives. (Excluding those kids with inborn mental health issues…) EBD kids are a product of their environments. Adults who view these youngsters as “the enemy” & “attack” them with negative words, punishments, & rejection, further ingrain the unfortunate self images & life views that they presently hold. 42 Characteristics of Kids Who Have Had Randomized & Negative Upbringings? Kids from disorganized households will initially challenge the legitimacy of procedures & practices found in structured & positive environments. They operate in a state of hyper-vigilance, anticipating that an intrusion on their present non-conflict state of being could occur at any moment. Consistent support & predictable adult actions are – New – Bewildering – Viewed with suspicion. Waco kids & Methodist home. 43 All kids need & deserve long-term exposure to “pole star” adults who demonstrate predictable & assertive responses wrapped in calm, unswervingly supportive emotional displays. Most of our students don’t receive this guidance. Kids who have had painful lives need adults who refuse to inflict more emotional harm. Kids who have experienced confusion in their young lives need organized, stable, & supportive adults. 44 With regard to kids who’ve heard consistently negative messages: Our task is to help them: – Develop accurate & useful perceptions – Exhibit more appropriate behaviors when under stress. 45 Room 106 Student: Curtis, is a “SPED” kid from a “disorganized” home. He has been showing promise academically & socially over the last year & a half in Mr. Roger’s room. This year, he is experiencing a rough start with his new teacher, Mr. Lee. Teacher: Mr. Lee, an experienced educator who prides himself on “not putting up with any crap from kids”. 46 Making Sense of What Happened Read a somewhat modified version of the page containing the “Curtis” script. Label where the various parts of the conflict cycle come into play. Click here for the script. When finished, list various reasons that teachers sometimes have a “short fuse” (become irritated) on certain days or in certain situations with certain kids. What things influence our perceptions and reactions? 47 What Can We Do To Win Over Defiant Youngsters? Establish personal connections. (308 NYC BD) – Human nature: We are more motivated to do things for those for whom we hold respect and affection. Promote achievement/Ensure progress. – The desire to continue in a pursuit requires that one see oneself as proficient, or making progress. (driving test repeated failure) – Modify material and assignments to meet special needs. – Create a “safe” environment for individuals with a “failure identity” who will otherwise resist trying new things. (Eskimo roll) Teach the behaviors we want to see Appropriate (re)actions & behavior choices, like academics, are learned. We often need to teach correct behavior to those aren’t yet displaying it. We may need to teach how to interpret happenings & handle feelings. 48 Teams: How can/do you establish positive personal connections with your students? Give them “the time of day”. Develop a history of positive interactions. Make sure that the first contact of the day or period is a positive one. Make sure that the last contact of the day is a positive one. Remain consistently supportive and encouraging, even when needing to administer penalties. – “You made a mistake in judgment, but they are further and farther between. I’m sure that the future will bring even more good choices.” Find the little bit of positive inside an inappropriate action. – “I admire your loyalty to friends. However, it is not OK to pummel others on their behalf.” – “Even though you refused the direction, I want to thank you for doing it with 49 acceptable words. That shows maturity. However, ...” How do we promote self control? Social skills instruction. Teach reflective thinking: – “Stop-think-choose” (see the page titled “Problem solving” at BehaviorAdvisor.com) – – – – Problem solving (see the page of that name at BehaviorAdvisor.com) Self monitoring (see the page of that name at BehaviorAdvisor.com) Anger management/replacement training DR procedures (see the page title “Differential reinforcement”at BehaviorAdvisor.com) Personalized check-ins with supportive adult(s). Other ideas from www.BehaviorAdvisor.com & “The Behavior Survival Guide for Kids: How to make good choices and stay out of trouble” (McIntyre, Free Spirit Press). 50 How do we promote academic achievement? – Modify materials and presentation. – Ensure understanding by asking the student to repeat the directions in own words. – Check in early with the student to assure. understanding and task engagement. – Relate material to the student’s life & interests. – Promote motivation by: Focusing on effort rather than accuracy Reminiscing about earlier successes resulting from effort. – Assign peer helpers/cross age tutors. 51 Suggestions for “The Dean of Discipline” Devise a plan before entering or while waiting outside the door. Avoid “Why” questions (especially when in agitated state) – see BehaviorAdvisor.com page titled “Nice ways to build self-discipline Use respectful phrasing & voice tone – see BehaviorAdvisor.com page titled “Nice ways to build self-discipline Talk with the suspect privately. Find a “Plan B”: Open the other door or wedge a chair to partially open the door that won’t stay open. Offer a choice: “When I return in 3 minutes, this door will have to be in working order again, in order to… – keep the privilege of sitting alone without me here.” – Leave at the scheduled departure time. 52 To make a long story short. (Too late?) “Difficult kids”: – Have an ingrained behavior patterns that become more so with rejection by significant adults (including educators) – They often project a “hardened” image to those who would help them in order to fend off more emotional hurt (from rejection by someone they start to trust) Punishing these youngsters strengthens their negative world view. It takes highly skilled, emotionally secure, caring, and resilient professionals to “reach” these youngsters. The most “hardened” of kids are the most in need of the guidance of an “iron hand in a velvet glove”. Firmness and strength underlie the “soft” touch. The glove must remain on the behavior management hand at all times. 53 When emotions start to Fla re Remember… 54 Your Turn To Talk Back Which points made the most impact on you? In what ways do you see yourself changing your interaction/intervention patterns? With which points do you disagree? (and why?) 55 Stretch Your Brain Do you have your brain wrapped around the model? If so, it’s time to bend it into another shape. This show talked about the student’s conflict cycle. However, it takes two to tangle…er, I mean tango. The teacher also has a conflict cycle going. Your task: Draw a blank, unlabeled Conflict Cycle diagram. Then fill in the boxes and circles as they pertain to your “Do Now” activity from slide #3. Hint: The top circle in the diagram will have “student’s unacceptable behavior” as the stressor. 56 Resources Why not read about it from the man (and his former student) who wrote it? For Long & Fescher’s description to the Conflict Cycle model, go to: http://cecp.air.org/interact/authoronline/april98/3.htm They also provide a brief introduction to the “Life Space Crisis Interview”, a counseling strategy for working with kids in crisis. To get a better idea of how the Conflict Cycles of two individuals (perhaps a student and teacher) interact, go to: http://www.aiksaath.com/conflict.html While this cycle diagram differs from the model proposed by Dr. Long, it is conceptually similar. 57 It’s a-b-c analysis A sparks B results in C The B sparks the C (the B in the other person) which brings about the next C Use excel chart for visual imagery? 58 Conflict in the Classroom Given that “no nonsense” teachers tend to view defiant students as the enemy, let us, for the moment, talk in their terms. If one is “fighting” an enemy, it is best to gather information about them in order to increase one’s chances of success. 59 What do you bring to the table? The top rectangular box refers to the self image (how one sees oneself and the personal traits that we see in ourselves) and self esteem (how highly or lowly one perceives oneself…The extent to which someone likes himself or herself). The second rectangular box refers to inaccurate beliefs that one holds about the world and the people in it. These perceptions develop from our experiences and what we have heard from important others, the media, etcetera. Examples: “All people of that religious group are…” “Those kids from that housing project are all…” “Teachers are all…” “No one will ever love me.” Our sense of self and our experiences influence how we perceive events and the actions of others. “Odd” reactions, “strange” behavior, and “weird” actions reflect a difference between the experiences of the person being described and the person doing the describing. 60 Sucked Down Into The Whirlpool The four connected circles in the lower part of the Conflict Cycle diagram represent the events in an escalating battle that are readily apparent & observable (unlike the self assessment and world views found in the rectangular boxes). In the top circle, the student experiences a stressful incident (e.g., frustration in trying to meet a goal, rejection by others). The level of the stress is dependent on the student’s self image and interpretation of events (the items in the rectangular boxes at the top of the diagram). To the teacher, the event may seem innocuous, but that’s because we’re looking at the event from our perspective. The student views that event from a very different perch on the tree of life. The stress will cause emotions to well up (the circle on the right side). Perhaps the student feels anger, fear, anxiety, intrigue/interest, sadness, or sulks in self pity or self hatred. 61 If emotions overwhelm the student’s ability to contain & manage them, an observable behavior (the lower bubble on the cycle) will burst out (e.g., crying, hitting self or another, running away, verbal insults toward self or others, cursing). The behavior might increase in magnitude as the youngster continues to reflect on the incident (perhaps “inaccurately”) & emotions continue to build. (Left circle on diagram) Upon witnessing the “inappropriate” action, the adult responds (ignoring or not noticing are responses too). Competent & concerned professionals respond in a manner that reduces the stress (back to the top circle), soothes the emotions, & subdues the emotions that drive the behavior. Teachers who brag that “I don’t put up with any crap from kids.” react in harsh ways that heighten the stress on the student, intensify the emotions, & increase the inappropriate behaviors. 62 An activity that illustrates the Cycle: Rent a DVD or video tape of “The Breakfast Club” movie (Circa 1982). Watch the scene in which the students in the library detention engage in arguments with each other (a peer example of the Conflict Cycle). Watch it for ten or fifteen minutes as the adult enters into the fray, causing the students to bond together to fight against him (Old Middle Eastern saying: “The enemy of my enemy is my friend”). Watch as a hero arises from the masses to confront the bully (the adult). Watch until the adult prepares to leave the library after engaging in an escalating battle with the kid in the leather coat. (You might want to stop the movie before the adult gets to the library exit because as he is walking out, the kid yells the “F” word.) 63 How Do Nice Educators End Up In Conflict? Past negative experiences with teachers and authority figures influence interactions with caring folks (like you) Student Self Esteem & Self Concept: The youngster has a history of painful rejections in his/her life from parents, peers, & teachers. S/he possesses a negative sense of self and a distrust of educators. Stressful incident: The student is enrolled in class of a nice teacher like you. S/he hears the promises of “a good year”. S/he has heard it before and makes the “inevitable” rejection from you happen on his/her terms, preventing the increased pain that would result if you became important to 64 him/her previous to that rejection. – Student Behavior: Displays behavior that caused rejection before. We try to deal with it nicely. However, we eventually get irritated with the persistent “testing” behavior; failing that test when we decide to… Teacher Reaction: “show ‘em who’s boss”. – We then find ourselves failing to notice appropriate actions, but being hyper-vigilant for inappropriate ones. – We intervene (negatively) more quickly (and maybe even predict misbehavior by saying “Don’t you be…”) as we “get tough” with “that kid”. Because the student causes us to reflect upon our personal frailties & concerns that we have about our teaching skills, our own Conflict Cycle engages at the “stressor” of student misbehavior. Emotions well up and we then deliver directions, comments, and punishments in an caustic or condescending manner (“reaction”). The student refuses this disrespectful and 65 alienating treatment, piling more stress onto us. Is your Chinese a bit rusty? While I’m told (by my Chinese speaking wife) that the translation isn’t precise. The two kanji/symbols on the previous slide, taken together, can be translated to the English word “Crisis”. The first symbol translates to “Danger” (This simplified modern symbol is a stylized version of the ancient pictograph showing a human figure on the edge of a cliff. See it?) The lower symbol is equivalent to the English word “Opportunity”. The message???? In a crisis situation with another, there is danger for making the situation worse, and opportunity for making it better. Seize the opportunity! 66