English 106
CUT AND PASTE FROM WEB SITES
There are passages taken word-for-word from your sources that do not have quote marks. Without
quote marks, a reader does not know these are a source's sentences, not yours. Even if you cite this
word-for-word borrowing, it is still considered a violation if you do not use quote marks. The best way to
avoid this problem to understand clearly what you can and can't do with sources.
---Whenever you use the direct wording (quotations) from another source, you must put
quotation marks around those words or your use of them can be considered plagiarism. I have
created a video that demonstrates the two times when you must cite sources and how to
coordinate your in-text citations with reference page citations:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NKZVCIqD4_U
The best way to avoid this problem is to understand clearly what you can and can't do with
sources. So I want you to:
1. Visit this site and complete the work there:
http://www.umuc.edu/prog/ugp/ewp_writingcenter/modules/plagiarism/start.html
2. After successful completion of the course above, you will receive a certificate of completion.
Please email the certificate to me directly, or download a copy of it and send it to me as an
email attachment.
3. After completing the above, rewrite your essay. Check your use of each source. Put any direct
quotations within quotation marks. When you are ready to submit your essay again, please
contact me.
Good luck!
CAN’T USE A COMPUTER WORD PROCESSOR
A major issue is how you are typing on a computer, which is not like a typewriter. You DO NOT use
enter/return key at the end of a line to achieve double-spacing. In order for your assignments to be
acceptable, you must receive some basic instruction in how to use your computer's word processing
program to properly format a double-spaced document with proper margins and alignment. Please view
these videos: http://www.peakwriting.com/Word/doubspace/setdouble.html and
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9pbUoNa5tyY … Please redo this assignment and resubmit to me.
INK EXTENSION
I was not able to open your attachment. You cannot turn in a file with an .Ink extension—it is a
desktop shortcut. It is not a document and cannot be read. Please save your document as a .doc
or .docx file and resubmit.
Unit 1 IP
GREAT JOB ON ALL ASPECTS
This is an excellent piece of work. The assignment directions call for you to write an essay that uses narration to help
make its overall point. This requires an introduction paragraph with a clear thesis (the overall point of the essay),
then body paragraphs which present main points in support of that thesis. Most importantly you were to use
narrative details (memories, stories) to support your main points. Finally, you were to follow APA guidelines for
preparing your title page and body of your manuscript.
You produced a unified essay with a strong thesis, support points and narrative details. You also used APA
manuscript guidelines well to prepare your manuscript. Congrats on getting off to such a strong start!
You will also want to get someone to help your proofread your work before turning it in for a grade to help catch
typos and misspellings.
GOOD EXCEPT APA
The content in this submission was good. The assignment directions called for you to write an essay that used
narration to help make its overall point. This required an introduction paragraph with a clear thesis (the overall point
of the essay), then body paragraphs which presented main points in support of that thesis. Most importantly you
were to use narrative details (memories, stories) to support your main points.
However, your submission did not follow all of the guidelines for preparing an APA manuscript. Please review one of
these two videos and conform your papers to all of the guidelines covered:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9pbUoNa5tyY OR http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w_-RB93hB10 Your
submissions at AIU must look exactly like what you see in the videos.
You will also want to get someone to help your proofread your work before turning it in for a grade to help catch
typos and misspellings.
GOOD EXCEPT INTRO
You did a good job with most of the essay basics that we worked on this week: a clear thesis, an organizational plan
built around three main points expressed as topic sentences in your body paragraphs, and use of narrative details to
support your points. Congrats on mastery of these fundamentals of the narrative essay! You should be proud of your
work in this area.
Main area you need to work on: an adequate introduction. The abstract paragraph is not the same as your
introduction paragraph. So, visit these links and learn to write this type of paragraph:
http://www.peakwriting.com/UMUC/IntroToIntros.pdf and http://polaris.umuc.edu/ewc/tutorials/introductions
To correctly format the APA aspects of your manuscript, please view this video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9pbUoNa5tyY
GOOD EXCEPT BODY PARAGRAPHS
You did a good job with most of the essay basics that we worked on this week: a clear thesis, an organizational plan
built around three main points expressed as topic sentences in your body paragraphs, and use of narrative details to
support your points. Congrats on mastery of these fundamentals of the narrative essay! You should be proud of your
work in this area.
Main area you need to work on: adequate development sections to your body paragraphs. As we reviewed in chats,
your body paragraphs should consist of at least 8 sentences in the State, Explain, Support, Conclude formula. The
support section should be the majority of those 8 sentences. Please watch this video on how to develop your body
paragraphs:
http://polaris.umuc.edu/ewc/tutorials/paragraphs/
http://polaris.umuc.edu/ewc/tutorials/transitions
LACK 5-GRAF STRUCTURE
You did a good job collecting information about this topic. Congrats! However, the main problem is that your
submission does not follow an essay structure. This assignment required an introduction paragraph with a clear
thesis (the overall point of the essay), then body paragraphs which presented main points in support of that thesis.
Most importantly you were to use narrative details (memories, stories) to support your main points. Finally, you were
to follow APA guidelines for preparing your title page and body page of your manuscript.
Also, many of the body paragraphs in this submission do not follow the state—explain—support—
conclude structure. As a result, the body paragraphs seemed like a collection of sentences and not a
structured discussion about a single point. Please review the formula for a body paragraph.
To see a model of the five-parargraph essay, view this video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IDJ71oqmezM When writing essays in this class, please follow the
formulas provided.
Please view this video for techniques on how to properly format your manuscript in APA style -http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9pbUoNa5tyY
REWRITE THIS FOR A HIGHER GRADE.
NEED HELP WITH SPELLING/TYPOS/GRAMMAR
You should also consider having someone to help you read over your papers and correct for typos and misspellings
before you turn the papers in. Please consider using AIU’s English Lab.
GOOD STRUCTURE—GRAMMAR NOT AT COLLEGE LEVEL—NEED TUTORING HELP
In terms of your grammar: there was a problem with periods, proper verb forms, missing words, pronoun
agreement, missing -ed for verbs, and spelling. Please do some extra work in this area. In order to pass this course,
you should begin reading your work out loud. If you do, you will find many of the “errors” that I saw. Also consider
finding someone to help you proofread your papers for these kinds of errors. ! In terms of your manuscript
formatting there was a problem with the settings. Please do some extra work in this area. Here is an excellent
video for this area: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9pbUoNa5tyY and
http://www.peakwriting.com/aiu/MODEL-1APA_ESSA.pdf
ENGLISH AS A SECOND LANGUAGE
In terms of your grammar--many of your sentences are not fully understandable. Words and phrases were
confusing, necessary punctuation was missing. It is essential that you read your papers out loud to catch your
typing errors. You should also consider having someone to help you read over your papers and correct the English
before you turn the papers in. Please consider using AIU’s English Lab. You had major problems and should seek
tutoring at AIU’s Learning Lab in order to pass this course.
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UNIT 1 DISCUSSION BOARD
ALL GOOD
Great job on this. You completed all the steps with care and accuracy. You described how three different prewriting
strategies contributed to the writing of your thesis, you stated a strong thesis (a thesis that contains a debatable or
arguable claim) about one of the six assigned topics. You commented on MyCompLab.
LACK OF TWO RESPONSES TO CLASSMATES
Great job on this. You completed all the steps with care and accuracy. You described how three different prewriting
strategies contributed to the writing of your thesis, you stated a strong thesis (a thesis that contains a debatable or
arguable claim) about one of the six assigned topics. However, please keep in mind that to receive full credit in a DB
you must respond to at least *two* of your classmates.
OFF-TOPIC RESPONSES TO CLASSMATES
Good job on this. You uploaded your prewriting materials and commented insightfully on how prewriting helped you
to organize your ideas. However, in your responses to other students the assignment instructions were for you to
comment specifically on the effectiveness of their thesis and their prewriting strategies of at least two other students.
Your responses did not focus specifically enough on prewriting strategies in both of your follow ups. Please be sure
to follow all directions.
MISSED PREWRITING ANALYSIS
Good job on the thesis. Please reread the full assignment directions. You were to describe how three different
prewriting strategies contributed to the writing of your thesis. This full analysis was missing from the response. There
was a model supplied for how to format your response to this DB.
NO PREWRITING MATERIALS
You provided your Unit 1 IP thesis statement and discussed how prewriting strategies helped you arrive at it.
However, you were also to upload a copy of your prewriting materials. Otherwise, good work.
LACK OF TWO RESPONSES TO CLASSMATES
Great job on the content portion of this assignment. You uploaded your prewriting materials and commented
insightfully on how prewriting helped you to organize your ideas. You provided your Unit 1 IP thesis statement and
discussed how prewriting strategies helped you arrive at it. However, please keep in mind that to receive full credit in
a DB you must respond to at least *two* of your classmates.
MISSED ASSIGNMENT
Please reread the full assignment directions. (1) You were to describe how three different prewriting strategies
contributed to the writing of your thesis. (2) Second you were to state a strong thesis (a thesis that contains a
debatable or arguable claim) about one of the six assigned topics. (3) Finally, in at least two responses to other
students you were to comment specifically on the effectiveness of each student’s thesis and prewriting strategies, not
personal reactions to their topics. Please be sure to follow all directions carefully. A model response was provided for
this assignment.
NO PREWRITING MATERIALS - OFF-TOPIC RESPONSES TO CLASSMATES
You provided your Unit 1 IP thesis statement and discussed how prewriting strategies helped you arrive at it.
However, you were also to upload a copy of your prewriting materials. And in your responses to other students the
assignment instructions were for you to comment to two others specifically on the effectiveness of their prewriting
strategies. Your comments failed to meet this criterion.
NO THESIS –OFF TOPIC RESPONSES TO CLASSMATES
You uploaded your prewriting materials and commented insightfully on how prewriting helped you to organize your
ideas. However, you did not provide an adequate thesis statement. Also, in your responses to other students the
assignment instructions were for you to comment specifically on the effectiveness of their prewriting strategies of at
least two other students.
OFF-TOPIC COMMENTS (SELF AND CLASSMATES)
Good job on this. You uploaded your prewriting materials and provided your Unit 1 IP thesis statement However, the
assignment instructions were for you to discuss specifically how the prewriting process did or did not work for you
and also to discuss the relationship between your prewriting and your thesis statement. In addition, in your
responses to other students the assignment instructions you were to comment specifically on the effectiveness of
their prewriting strategies.
PROBLEM WITH OFF-TOPIC COMMENTS (SELF AND CLASSMATES) – NO THESIS
Please reread the assignment directions. You uploaded your prewriting materials. However, you did not identify or
provide your Unit 1 IP thesis statement. The assignment instructions were for you to discuss specifically how the
prewriting process did or did not work for you and also to discuss the relationship between your prewriting and your
thesis statement. In addition, in your responses to other students the assignment instructions you were to comment
specifically on the effectiveness of their prewriting strategies.
UNIT 2 IP—DEFINITION ESSAY
MISSED ASSIGNMENT COMPLETELY
You have some good ideas here that will make for a good essay. However, please reread the assignment materials.
You were supposed to compose a five-paragraph DEFINITION essay that contained each of these parts:
* (Paragraph #1) an intro paragraph with a thesis at the end
* (Paragraphs #2,#3,#4) three body paragraphs, each with a single topic sentence stating a single main point that is
then developed with multiple support sentences and helps to define the concept, term or thing you are defining.
* (Paragraph #5) a conclusion paragraph.
Please review class materials. I made a video on how to structure this definition essay. If you are unsure of the essay
formulas that you must use in this class, please review week 1 materials:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D0by85ibUWM
Also view this video on how to use sources in a paper:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NKZVCIqD4_U
REVISE AND RESUBMIT**
Before writing your essays, it is important that you review model papers and watch the chat archives. Please follow
the examples provided. Resubmit your work to this drop box. Good luck. Let me know anything I can do to help.
To correctly format the APA aspects of your manuscript, please view this video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9pbUoNa5tyY
NO IN-TEXT CITATION
You collected information and organized it around a thesis. But there is a significant problem:
You did not use an in-text citation in the text of your paper. You were to cite at least one source from
the AIU Library in the body of your paper.<___>
At AIU, you must learn to cite sources to back up your points. Also you cannot list a source on your
reference page that you did not cite with an in-text citation in the body of your paper.
Please review class materials. I made a video on how to structure this definition essay:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D0by85ibUWM
Also view this video on how to use sources in a paper:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NKZVCIqD4_U
REVISE AND RESUBMIT**
Before writing your essays, it is important that you review model papers and read the assignment
directions carefully. Please follow the examples provided. Resubmit your work to this drop box. Good
luck. Let me know anything I can do to help.
Please consider finding someone to help you proofread your papers before submitting them in order to
correct the many misspellings and typos.
To correctly format the APA aspects of your manuscript, please view this video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9pbUoNa5tyY
FAILURE TO INTEGRATE SOURCES
You did a good job on collecting your thoughts for this essay. The main problem is with not integrating your source
into your writing. It must be clear how your source is being used to back up your own thoughts that are expressed in
your own words. Sources should NOT be used to substitute for your thought and writing. Sources should support
your points, not make your points. Please take a look at the model papers I provided links to. Also, please study the
following link that instructs you on how to better integrate your sources into your own writing:
http://www.uhv.edu/ac/research/write/quote.asp
http://www.uhv.edu/ac/research/write/signalsource.asp
To correctly format your in-text citations in APA style, please view this video:
http://polaris.umuc.edu/ewc/apa-3/apa-3.html
Please study the model paper provided on our course home page under “Instructor Files” and consult my video on
how to format your paper in proper APA style: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9pbUoNa5tyY
DROPPED QUOTES
You did a good job collecting information. Congrats! But the problem is with not integrating your direct quotes into
your writing. Quotations must be introduced with a signal phrase. Quotes must be used selectively to back up your
own thoughts and assertion. Quotes should NOT be used to substitute for your thought and writing. Please take a
look at the model papers I provided links to. Also, please study the following link that instructs you on how to better
integrate your sources into your own writing:
http://www.uhv.edu/ac/research/write/signalsource.asp
All of the source material that you use in your paper must have in-text citations to tell where it came from—the
citation goes immediately after the quote in an ABBREVIATED FORMAT. Each in-text citation must go to an entry on
your References page at the end of your paper. There are now citation machines that do that for you: <_____>
http://www.citationmachine.net
To correctly use the citation machine, see this video-http://www.peakwriting.com/VIDS/CiteMachLM/CiteMachLM.html
Also continue to work on your APA paper format style:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9pbUoNa5tyY
END-OF-PARAGRAPH CITATIONS
You did a good job collecting information and organizing it around a clear thesis. Congrats! But there are problems
with how you are using your sources. As of now you are putting in-text citations at the end of a paragraph. A citation
can only refer to the sentence it follows. You cannot cite an entire paragraph with one citation.
If you use the same source for information in several sentences in a paragraph, that source must be cited each time
it is used. The last sentence of a paragraph must be the conclusion sentence for that paragraph in your own words.
<________> Be sure your in-text citations and References page uses the correct formats for the source you are
including. Your citations were incorrect. PLEASE REWRITE AND RESUBMIT THIS PAPER USING SOURCES
CORRECTLY.
Also continue to work on your APA paper format style:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9pbUoNa5tyY
To correctly format your in-text citations in APA style, please view this videos:
http://polaris.umuc.edu/ewc/apa-3/apa-3.html
To correctly format your reference citations in APA style, please use the Bedford Bibliographer:
http://polaris.umuc.edu/ewc/ewc-p1/ewc-p1.html
http://polaris.umuc.edu/ewc/ewc-p2/ewc-p2.html
GOOD PAPER (EXCEPT INTRO)
You did a good job with most of the essay basics that we worked on this week: a clear thesis, an organizational plan
build around three main points expressed as topic sentences in your body paragraphs, and use of signpost words.
Congrats on mastery of these fundamentals of the academic essay! You should be proud of your work in this area.
Main area you need to work on: an adequate introduction. Your abstract is not your introduction. An abstract is an
object ive summary of your paper. Your introduction is on the next page and is different. So, visit this link and learn
to write this type of paragraph:
http://polaris.umuc.edu/ewc/tutorials/introductions
To correctly format the APA aspects of your manuscript, please view this video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9pbUoNa5tyY
Please consider having someone proofread your papers before you hand them in for grading to help
correct the many misspellings and typos.
GOOD PAPER (EXCEPT ABSTRACT)
You’ve got a good paper here in terms of its information and organization. You used the formulas for the fiveparagraph essay with a strong thesis and support points. You also integrated source material with your words.
Congrats on mastery the basics of the academic essay.
However, your abstract was a problem. An abstract is a 50-125 word objective summary of your paper’s thesis and
main points. It is written as a capsule version of the paper. Please see this link:
http://www.unc.edu/depts/wcweb/handouts/abstracts.html
To correctly format the APA aspects of your manuscript, please view this video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9pbUoNa5tyY
To correctly format your in-text citations in APA style, please view this videos:
http://polaris.umuc.edu/ewc/apa-3/apa-3.html
To correctly format your reference citations in APA style, please use the Bedford Bibliographer:
http://polaris.umuc.edu/ewc/ewc-p1/ewc-p1.html
http://polaris.umuc.edu/ewc/ewc-p2/ewc-p2.html
GOOD PAPER (EXCEPT APA)
You’ve got a good paper here in terms of its information and organization. You used the formulas for the fiveparagraph essay with a strong thesis and support points. You also integrated source material with your words.
Congrats on mastery the basics of the academic essay.
However, you are still not using proper APA format for your manuscript, in-text citations and References.
To correctly format the APA aspects of your manuscript, please view this video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9pbUoNa5tyY
To correctly format your in-text citations in APA style, please view this videos:
http://polaris.umuc.edu/ewc/apa-3/apa-3.html
To correctly format your reference citations in APA style, please use the Bedford Bibliographer:
http://polaris.umuc.edu/ewc/ewc-p1/ewc-p1.html
100%
90%
80%
70%
60%
50%
40%
30%
20%
http://polaris.umuc.edu/ewc/ewc-p2/ewc-p2.html
I have emailed APA templates for you to use and provided links to videos showing how to do these
formats correctly.
Please have someone help you proofread your paper for spelling
errors and typos.
UNIT 2
DISCUSSION BOARD
EXCELLENT
Excellent work. You’ve done the hard part—getting familiar with AIU’s library and finding articles in online databases.
You should now know how to access all of the library’s searchable databases. You also demonstrated that you know
how to use proper APA style citation formats to make your in-text and end of paper citations. You also demonstrated
that you know the difference between quoting from a source and paraphrasing it. Good job! Only one period per
sentence and it goes after the citation.
When author is not listed, substitute the title of the article, not title of the publication.
PARAPHRASES IN-TEXT CITATIONS MISSING
You’ve done the hard part—getting familiar with AIU’s library and finding articles in online databases. You should
now know how to access all of the library’s searchable databases. You also demonstrated that you know the
difference between quoting from a source and paraphrasing it. However, YOUR IN-TEXT CITATIONS FOR THE
PARAPHRASES WERE MISSING. Please look again at the model response I provided and become more familiar with
automated formatting tools to format your in-text and end of paper citations, which were missing in this submission.
Also, the failure to provide citations could result in a teacher submitting your work to the Academic Honesty
committee for review. Unless you look at the models I have provided and follow them exactly, it is going to be
difficult for you to do well in this area of the course. Please revise and resubmit via email to me.
ALL CITATIONS WRONG
You’ve done the hard part—getting familiar with AIU’s library and finding articles in online databases. You should
now know how to access all of the library’s searchable databases. You also provided some citations. You also
demonstrated that you know the difference between quoting from a source and paraphrasing it. However, you failed
to give proper APA-style in-text citations. Please look again at the model response I provided and become more
familiar with automated formatting tools to format your in-text and end of paper citations. Unless you look at the
models I have provided and follow them exactly, it is going to be difficult for you to do well in this area of the course.
Please revise and resubmit via email to me.
If there is no author listed, use a shortened version of the title in quotes to
substitute for the author's name.
ALL CITATIONS MISSING
You’ve done the hard part—getting familiar with AIU’s library and finding articles in online databases. You should
now know how to access all of the library’s searchable databases. You also demonstrated that you know the
difference between quoting from a source and paraphrasing it. However, YOUR IN-TEXT CITATIONS WERE
MISSING. Please look again at the model response I provided and become more familiar with automated formatting
tools to format your in-text and end of paper citations, which were missing in this submission. The ability to use
sources is a critical skill in this course. Without its mastery, it will be difficult for you to do well. Also, the failure to
provide citations could result in some teacher in the future submitting your work to the Academic Honesty committee
for review. Unless you look at the models I have provided and follow them exactly, it is going to be difficult for you to
do well in this area of the course. Please revise and resubmit via email to me.
MISSED ASSIGNMENT
Your submission did not contain what is required by the assignment. This assignment called for you to select an
article about your topic from the list provided. Then you were to locate that article in AIU’s library. In your DB
response, you were supposed to summarize the source, write a personal response to it, provide two integrated
quotes from the article and two paraphrases of those quotes. In addition, proper APA in-text citations were to be
provided for the two quotes and the two paraphrases. If you have any questions about the requirements for this DB,
please see the announcements, assignment instructions and the model responses provided on your course home
page. Please redo this and email to me. Unless you look at the models I have provided and follow them exactly, it is
going to be difficult for you to do well in this area of the course. Please revise and resubmit via email to me.
UNIT 3 IP—CAUSE-EFECT ESSAY
MISSED ASSIGNMENT COMPLETELY
You have some good ideas here that will make for a good cause-effect essay. However, please reread the
assignment materials. You were supposed to compose a five-paragraph essay that contained each of these parts:
* (Paragraph #1) an intro paragraph with a thesis at the end
* (Paragraphs #2,#3,#4) three body paragraphs, each with a single topic sentence stating a single main point (a
causes or an effect). The body paragraph is developed with multiple support sentences containing sources. It ends
with a conclusion statement.
* (Paragraph #5) a conclusion paragraph that restates your thesis and tells importance of the topic.
Please review class materials. I made a video on how to structure your five-paragraph essays. If you are unsure of
the essay formulas that you must use in this class, please review week 1 materials:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IDJ71oqmezM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=joLEGtMcuDI
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3mjyfckFR70
Also view this video on how to use sources in a paper: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NKZVCIqD4_U
REVISE AND RESUBMIT**
Before writing your essays, it is important that you review model papers and watch the chat archives. Please follow
the examples provided. Resubmit your work to this drop box. Good luck. Let me know anything I can do to help.
To correctly format the APA aspects of your manuscript, please view this video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9pbUoNa5tyY
NO IN-TEXT CITATION
You collected information and organized it around a thesis. But there is a significant problem:
You did not use text citations in the text of your paper. You were to cite at least two sources from the
AIU Library in the body of your cause-effect paper.<___>
At AIU, you must learn to cite sources to back up your points. Also you cannot list a source on your
reference page that you did not cite with an in-text citation in the body of your paper.
Please review class materials. I made a video on how to structure your five-paragraph essays. If you are unsure of
the essay formulas that you must use in this class, please review week 1 materials:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IDJ71oqmezM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=joLEGtMcuDI
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3mjyfckFR70
Also view this video on how to use sources in a paper:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NKZVCIqD4_U
REVISE AND RESUBMIT**
Before writing your essays, it is important that you review model papers and read the assignment
directions carefully. Please follow the examples provided. Resubmit your work to this drop box. Good
luck. Let me know anything I can do to help.
To correctly format the APA aspects of your manuscript, please view this video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9pbUoNa5tyY
Please consider finding someone to help you proofread your papers before submitting them in order to
correct the many misspellings and typos.
FAILURE TO INTEGRATE SOURCES
You did a good job on collecting your thoughts for this cause-effect essay. The main problem is with not integrating
your sources into your writing. It is not enough simple to put in a citation. It must be clear how your source is being
used to back up your own thoughts that are expressed in your own words. The connection between your thoughts
and your sources must be made obvious and clear to the reader. Sources should NOT be used to substitute for your
thought and writing. Sources should support your points, not make your points. Please take a look at the model
papers I provided links to. Also, please study the following link that instructs you on how to better integrate your
sources into your own writing:
http://www.uhv.edu/ac/research/write/quote.asp
http://www.uhv.edu/ac/research/write/signalsource.asp
To correctly format your in-text citations in APA style, please view this video:
http://polaris.umuc.edu/ewc/apa-3/apa-3.html
Please study the model paper provided on our course home page under “Instructor Files” and consult my video on
how to format your paper in proper APA style: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9pbUoNa5tyY
DROPPED QUOTES
You did a good job collecting information for this cause-effect essay. Congrats! But the problem is with not
integrating your direct quotes into your writing. Quotations must be introduced with a signal phrase: Jones (2010)
said, “As a nation, health care has failed.” Quotes must be used selectively to back up your own thoughts and
assertion. Quotes should NOT be used to substitute for your thought and writing. Please take a look at the model
papers I provided links to. Also, please study the following link that instructs you on how to better integrate your
sources into your own writing:
http://www.uhv.edu/ac/research/write/signalsource.asp
All of the source material that you use in your paper must have in-text citations to tell where it came from—the
citation goes immediately after the quote in an ABBREVIATED FORMAT. Each in-text citation must go to an entry on
your References page at the end of your paper. There are now citation machines that do that for you: <_____>
http://www.citationmachine.net
To correctly use the citation machine, see this video-http://www.peakwriting.com/VIDS/CiteMachLM/CiteMachLM.html
Also continue to work on your APA paper format style:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9pbUoNa5tyY
PARAGRAPH DEVELOPMENT
You did a good job collecting information for this cause-effect essay. Congrats! But the problem is with not providing
adequate development sections to your body paragraphs. As we reviewed in chats, your body paragraphs should
consist of at least 8 sentences in the State, Explain, Support, Conclude formula. The support section should be the
majority of those 8 sentences. Please watch this video on how to develop your body paragraphs:
http://polaris.umuc.edu/ewc/tutorials/paragraphs/
http://polaris.umuc.edu/ewc/tutorials/transitions
Also continue to work on your APA paper format style:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9pbUoNa5tyY
END-OF-PARAGRAPH CITATIONS
You did a good job collecting information and organizing it around a clear thesis for this cause-effect essay.
Congrats! But there are problems with how you are using your sources. As of now you are putting in-text citations at
the end of a paragraph. A citation can only refer to the sentence it follows. You cannot cite an entire paragraph with
one citation.
If you use the same source for information in several sentences in a paragraph, that source must be cited each time
it is used. The last sentence of a paragraph is usually reserved for the author’s own wrap up of the paragraph. The
last sentence of a paragraph must be the conclusion sentence for that paragraph in your own words.
Be sure your in-text citations and References page uses the correct formats for the source you are including. Your
citations were incorrect. PLEASE REWRITE AND RESUBMIT THIS PAPER USING SOURCES CORRECTLY.
To correctly format your in-text citations in APA style, please view this videos:
http://polaris.umuc.edu/ewc/apa-3/apa-3.html
To correctly format your reference citations in APA style, please use the Bedford Bibliographer:
http://polaris.umuc.edu/ewc/ewc-p1/ewc-p1.html
http://polaris.umuc.edu/ewc/ewc-p2/ewc-p2.html
GOOD PAPER (EXCEPT INTRO)
You did a good job with most of the essay basics that we worked on this week: a clear thesis, an organizational plan
build around three main points expressed as topic sentences in your body paragraphs, and use of signpost words.
Congrats on mastery of these fundamentals of the academic essay! You should be proud of your work in this area.
Main area you need to work on: an adequate introduction. Your abstract is not your introduction. An abstract is an
object ive summary of your paper. Your introduction is on the next page and is different. So, visit this link and learn
to write this type of paragraph:
http://polaris.umuc.edu/ewc/tutorials/introductions
To correctly format the APA aspects of your manuscript, please view this video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9pbUoNa5tyY
Please consider having someone proofread your papers before you hand them in for grading to help
correct the many misspellings and typos.
GOOD PAPER (EXCEPT ABSTRACT)
You’ve got a good paper here in terms of its information and organization. You used the formulas for the fiveparagraph essay with a strong thesis and support points. You also integrated source material with your words.
Congrats on mastery the basics of the academic essay.
However, your abstract was a problem. An abstract is a 50-125 word objective summary of your paper’s thesis and
main points. It is written as a capsule version of the paper. Please see this link:
http://www.unc.edu/depts/wcweb/handouts/abstracts.html
To correctly format the APA aspects of your manuscript, please view this video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9pbUoNa5tyY
To correctly format your in-text citations in APA style, please view this videos:
http://polaris.umuc.edu/ewc/apa-3/apa-3.html
To correctly format your reference citations in APA style, please use the Bedford Bibliographer:
http://polaris.umuc.edu/ewc/ewc-p1/ewc-p1.html
http://polaris.umuc.edu/ewc/ewc-p2/ewc-p2.html
GOOD PAPER (EXCEPT APA)
You’ve got a good paper here in terms of its information and organization. You used the formulas for the fiveparagraph essay with a strong thesis and support points. You also integrated source material with your words.
Congrats on mastery the basics of the academic essay.
However, you are still not using proper APA format for your manuscript, in-text citations and References.
To correctly format the APA aspects of your manuscript, please view this video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9pbUoNa5tyY
To correctly format your in-text citations in APA style, please view this videos:
http://polaris.umuc.edu/ewc/apa-3/apa-3.html
To correctly format your reference citations in APA style, please use the Bedford Bibliographer:
http://polaris.umuc.edu/ewc/ewc-p1/ewc-p1.html
http://polaris.umuc.edu/ewc/ewc-p2/ewc-p2.html
UNIT 3 DISCUSSION BOARD
You were supposed to have two quotes and two paraphrases.
EXCELLENT
Excellent work. You’ve done the hard part—getting familiar with AIU’s library and finding articles in online databases.
You should now know how to access all of the library’s searchable databases. You also demonstrated that you know
how to use proper APA style citation formats to make your in-text and end of paper citations. You also demonstrated
that you know the difference between quoting from a source and paraphrasing it. Good job!
Period—Only one period per sentence and it goes after the citation and inside
quote marks.
Ampersand--Use ampersand & (not “and”) to join second/last author inside
citations only.
Article title--When using title of article in place of author name, title must be
in quotes.
Author initials--Do not use author's initials or first names for in-text
citations. Use only last names.
Comma--Comma between author, year.
CommaVerb--Comma after attribution verb.
NoodleBib--Use NoodleBib—database format.
Page—use the correct abbreviation of page: p.
Secondary source--Please refer to your text on how to properly cite a
secondary source (one you found in another source).
Spaces--One space after all commas.
Spaces--Place spaces before and after parentheses.
Title—Use shortened title of article to substitute for author’s name, not title
of magazine/journal.
PARAPHRASE IN-TEXT CITATIONS WRONG
Good work. You’ve done the hard part—getting familiar with AIU’s library and finding articles in online databases.
You should now know how to access all of the library’s searchable databases. You also demonstrated that you know
the difference between quoting from a source and paraphrasing it. However, YOUR IN-TEXT CITATIONS FOR THE
PARAPHRASES WERE INCORRECT. . Please look again at the model response I provided and become more familiar
with automated formatting tools to format your in-text and end of paper citations.
You were supposed to have two quotes and paraphrases.
QUOTATION CITATIONS WRONG
You’ve done the hard part—getting familiar with AIU’s library and finding articles in online databases. You should
now know how to access all of the library’s searchable databases. You also demonstrated that you know the
difference between quoting from a source and paraphrasing it. However, YOUR IN-TEXT CITATIONS FOR THE
QUOTATIONS WERE INCORRECT. Please look again at the model response I provided and become more familiar
with automated formatting tools to format your in-text and end of paper citations. Unless you look at the models I
have provided and follow them exactly, it is going to be difficult for you to do well in this area of the course.
QUOTATION CITATIONS WRONG/PARAPHRASES MISSING
You’ve done the hard part—getting familiar with AIU’s library and finding articles in online databases. You should
now know how to access all of the library’s searchable databases. You also demonstrated that you know the
difference between quoting from a source and paraphrasing it. However, YOUR IN-TEXT CITATIONS FOR THE
QUOTATIONS WERE INCORRECT. AND YOUR IN-TEXT CITATIONS FOR PARAPHRASES WERE MISSING. Please look
again at the model response I provided and become more familiar with automated formatting tools to format your intext and end of paper citations. Unless you look at the models I have provided and follow them exactly, it is going to
be difficult for you to do well in this area of the course.
100%
90%
80%
70%
60%
50%
40%
30%
20%
QUOTE WRONG/PARAPHRASE WRONG
You’ve done the hard part—getting familiar with AIU’s library and finding articles in online databases. You should
now know how to access all of the library’s searchable databases. You did not demonstrate the difference between
quoting from a source and paraphrasing it. YOUR IN-TEXT CITATIONS WERE INCORRECT. Please look again at the
model response I provided and become more familiar with automated formatting tools to format your in-text and end
of paper citations. Unless you look at the models I have provided and follow them exactly, it is going to be difficult
for you to do well in this area of the course.
ALL CITATIONS WRONG
You’ve done the hard part—getting familiar with AIU’s library and finding articles in online databases. You should
now know how to access all of the library’s searchable databases. You also provided citations. You also demonstrated
that you know the difference between quoting from a source and paraphrasing it. However, you failed to give proper
APA-style in-text citations. Please look again at the model response I provided and become more familiar with
automated formatting tools to format your in-text and end of paper citations. Unless you look at the models I have
provided and follow them exactly, it is going to be difficult for you to do well in this area of the course.
PARAPHRASES IN-TEXT CITATIONS MISSING
You’ve done the hard part—getting familiar with AIU’s library and finding articles in online databases. You should
now know how to access all of the library’s searchable databases. You also demonstrated that you know the
difference between quoting from a source and paraphrasing it. However, YOUR IN-TEXT CITATIONS FOR THE
PARAPHRASES WERE MISSING. Please look again at the model response I provided and become more familiar with
automated formatting tools to format your in-text and end of paper citations, which were missing in this submission.
Also, the failure to provide citations could result in a future teacher in some course submitting your work to the
Academic Honesty committee for review. Unless you look at the models I have provided and follow them exactly, it is
going to be difficult for you to do well in this area of the course.
Quotations citations were not in correct format. All quotations must have attribution phrase with
verb.
USE TITLE OF ARTICLE, NOT PUBLICATION, TO SUBSTITUTE FOR AUTHOR.
QUOTATIONS IN-TEXT CITATIONS MISSING
You’ve done the hard part—getting familiar with AIU’s library and finding articles in online databases. You should
now know how to access all of the library’s searchable databases. However, YOUR IN-TEXT CITATIONS FOR THE
QUOTATIONS WERE MISSING. Please look again at the model response I provided and become more familiar with
automated formatting tools to format your in-text and end of paper citations, which were missing in this submission.
Also, the failure to provide citations could result in a teacher submitting your work to the Academic Honesty
committee for review. Unless you look at the models I have provided and follow them exactly, it is going to be
difficult for you to do well in this area of the course.
You were supposed to have two quotes and paraphrases.
ALL CITATIONS MISSING
You’ve done the hard part—getting familiar with AIU’s library and finding articles in online databases. You should
now know how to access all of the library’s searchable databases. You also demonstrated that you know the
difference between quoting from a source and paraphrasing it. However, YOUR IN-TEXT CITATIONS WERE
MISSING. Please look again at the model response I provided and become more familiar with automated formatting
tools to format your in-text and end of paper citations, which were missing in this submission. The ability to use
sources is a critical skill in this course. Without its mastery, it will be difficult for you to do well. Also, the failure to
provide citations could result in a future teacher in a future course submitting your work to the Academic Honesty
committee for review. Unless you look at the models I have provided and follow them exactly, it is going to be
difficult for you to do well in this area of the course.
MISSED ASSIGNMENT
Your submission did not contain what is required by the assignment. This assignment called for you to select an
article about your topic from the list provided. Then you were to locate that article in AIU’s library. In your DB
response, you were supposed to summarize the source, write a 1-2 paragraph personal response to it, provide two
integrated quotes from the article and two paraphrases of those quotes. In addition, proper APA in-text citations
were to be provided for the two quotes and the two paraphrases. If you have any questions about the requirements
for this DB, please see the announcements, assignment instructions and the model responses provided on your
course home page. Please redo this and email to me. Unless you look at the models I have provided and follow them
exactly, it is going to be difficult for you to do well in this area of the course.
END OF PARAGRAPH CITATIONS ONLY – NO SIGNAL PHRASE
You are putting all of your citations at the end of the paragraph and that is wrong. You must integrate your
quotations and paraphrases into your own sentences using signal phrases as demonstrated in the model response. .
Please look again at the model response I provided and become more familiar with automated formatting tools to
format your in-text and end of paper citations, which were missing in this submission. To correctly format your
reference citations in APA style, please use the Bedford Bibliographer:
http://polaris.umuc.edu/ewc/ewc-p1/ewc-p1.html
http://polaris.umuc.edu/ewc/ewc-p2/ewc-p2.html
125 – 100%
113 – 90%
100 – 80%
88 – 70%
76 – 60%
64 – 50%
UNIT 4 Comparison Essay
OUTSTANDING
This is an excellent piece of review work. The assignment called for a comparison and contrast of three
computer models using the same evaluative criteria, then to select the best of the three models. In this
essay you followed a clear overall structure (intro paragraph with thesis, body paragraphs and
conclusion). You also structured each body paragraph in the same way and provided specific details for
the computers. Your use of APA formatting for manuscript and citations was accurate.
GOOD PAPER (EXCEPT APA)
You’ve got a good paper here in terms of its information and organization. You used the formulas for the fiveparagraph essay with a strong thesis and support points to compare the three computers. You also integrated source
material with your words as you reviewed the different models. Congrats on mastery the basics of the academic
essay.
However, you are still not using proper APA format for your manuscript, in-text citations and References.
To correctly format the APA aspects of your manuscript, please view this video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9pbUoNa5tyY
To correctly format your in-text citations in APA style, please view this videos:
http://polaris.umuc.edu/ewc/apa-3/apa-3.html
To correctly format your reference citations in APA style, please use the Bedford Bibliographer:
http://polaris.umuc.edu/ewc/ewc-p1/ewc-p1.html
http://polaris.umuc.edu/ewc/ewc-p2/ewc-p2.html
GOOD PAPER (EXCEPT ABSTRACT)
You’ve got a good paper here in terms of its information and organization. You used the formulas for the fiveparagraph essay with a strong thesis and support points to compare the three computers. You also integrated source
material with your words as you reviewed the different models. Congrats on mastery the basics of the academic
essay.
However, your abstract was a problem. An abstract is a 50-125 word objective summary of your paper’s thesis and
main points. It is written as a capsule version of the paper. Please see this link:
http://www.unc.edu/depts/wcweb/handouts/abstracts.html
To correctly format the APA aspects of your manuscript, please view this video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9pbUoNa5tyY
To correctly format your in-text citations in APA style, please view this videos:
http://polaris.umuc.edu/ewc/apa-3/apa-3.html
To correctly format your reference citations in APA style, please use the Bedford Bibliographer:
http://polaris.umuc.edu/ewc/ewc-p1/ewc-p1.html
http://polaris.umuc.edu/ewc/ewc-p2/ewc-p2.html
GOOD PAPER (EXCEPT INTRO)
You’ve got a good paper here in terms of its information and organization. You used the formulas for the fiveparagraph essay with a strong thesis and support points to compare the three computers. You also integrated source
material with your words as you reviewed the different models. Congrats on mastery the basics of the academic
essay.
Main area you need to work on: an adequate introduction. Your abstract is not your introduction. An abstract is an
object ive summary of your paper. Your introduction is on the next page and is different. So, visit this link and learn
to write this type of paragraph:
http://polaris.umuc.edu/ewc/tutorials/introductions
To correctly format the APA aspects of your manuscript, please view this video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9pbUoNa5tyY
Please consider having someone proofread your papers before you hand them in for grading to help
correct the many misspellings and typos.
DROPPED QUOTES
You did a good job collecting information for this comparison/contrast essay. Congrats! But the problem is with not
integrating your direct quotes into your writing. Quotations must be introduced with a signal phrase: Jones (2010)
said, “As a laptop, this model weighs too much.” Quotes must be used selectively to back up your own thoughts and
assertion. Quotes should NOT be used to substitute for your thought and writing. Please take a look at the model
papers I provided links to. Also, please study the following link that instructs you on how to better integrate your
sources into your own writing:
http://www.uhv.edu/ac/research/write/signalsource.asp
All of the source material that you use in your paper must have in-text citations to tell where it came from—the
citation goes immediately after the quote in an ABBREVIATED FORMAT. Each in-text citation must go to an entry on
your References page at the end of your paper. There are now citation machines that do that for you: <_____>
http://www.citationmachine.net
To correctly use the citation machine, see this video-http://www.peakwriting.com/VIDS/CiteMachLM/CiteMachLM.html
Also continue to work on your APA paper format style:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9pbUoNa5tyY
PARAGRAPH DEVELOPMENT
What happened in this group? Why didn't you follow the outline model that I provided? How are two
huge paragraphs with details from all of the computers swirled together supposed to help a reader
make sense out of a comparison?
Yes, You did a good job collecting information for this comparison essay. Congrats! But the problem is with not
providing adequate development sections to your body paragraphs. For this comparison, each computer needed to
have information from a technical review. Also, each computer had to be evaluated following the same criteria in the
same order. As we reviewed in chats, your body paragraphs should consist of at least 8 sentences in the State,
Explain, Support, Conclude formula. The support section should be the majority of those 8 sentences. Please watch
this video on how to develop your body paragraphs:
http://polaris.umuc.edu/ewc/tutorials/paragraphs/
http://polaris.umuc.edu/ewc/tutorials/transitions
Also continue to work on your APA paper format style:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9pbUoNa5tyY
END-OF-PARAGRAPH CITATIONS
You did a good job collecting information and organizing it around a clear thesis for this comparison essay. Congrats!
But there are problems with how you are using your sources. As of now you are putting in-text citations at the end of
a paragraph. A citation can only refer to the sentence it follows. You cannot cite an entire paragraph with one
citation.
If you use the same source for information in several sentences in a paragraph, that source must be cited each time
it is used. The last sentence of a paragraph is usually reserved for the author’s own wrap up of the paragraph. The
last sentence of a paragraph must be the conclusion sentence for that paragraph in your own words.
Be sure your in-text citations and References page uses the correct formats for the source you are including. Your
citations were incorrect. PLEASE REWRITE AND RESUBMIT THIS PAPER USING SOURCES CORRECTLY.
To correctly format your in-text citations in APA style, please view this videos:
http://polaris.umuc.edu/ewc/apa-3/apa-3.html
To correctly format your reference citations in APA style, please use the Bedford Bibliographer:
http://polaris.umuc.edu/ewc/ewc-p1/ewc-p1.html
http://polaris.umuc.edu/ewc/ewc-p2/ewc-p2.html
FAILURE TO INTEGRATE SOURCES
You did a good job on collecting your thoughts for this comparison essay. The main problem is with not integrating
your sources into your writing. It is not enough simple to put in a citation. It must be clear how your source is being
used to back up your own thoughts that are expressed in your own words. The connection between your thoughts
and your sources must be made obvious and clear to the reader. Sources should NOT be used to substitute for your
thought and writing. Sources should support your points, not make your points. Please take a look at the model
papers I provided links to. Also, please study the following link that instructs you on how to better integrate your
sources into your own writing:
http://www.uhv.edu/ac/research/write/quote.asp
http://www.uhv.edu/ac/research/write/signalsource.asp
To correctly format your in-text citations in APA style, please view this video:
http://polaris.umuc.edu/ewc/apa-3/apa-3.html
Please study the model paper provided on our course home page under “Instructor Files” and consult my video on
how to format your paper in proper APA style: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9pbUoNa5tyY
NO IN-TEXT CITATION
You collected information and organized it around a thesis. But there is a significant problem:
You did not use text citations in the text of your paper. You were to cite at least two sources from the
AIU Library in the body of your cause-effect paper.<___>
At AIU, you must learn to cite sources to back up your points. Also you cannot list a source on your
reference page that you did not cite with an in-text citation in the body of your paper.
Please review class materials. I made a video on how to structure your five-paragraph essays. If you are unsure of
the essay formulas that you must use in this class, please review week 1 materials:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IDJ71oqmezM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=joLEGtMcuDI
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3mjyfckFR70
Also view this video on how to use sources in a paper:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NKZVCIqD4_U
REVISE AND RESUBMIT**
Before writing your essays, it is important that you review model papers and read the assignment
directions carefully. Please follow the examples provided. Resubmit your work to this drop box. Good
luck. Let me know anything I can do to help.
To correctly format the APA aspects of your manuscript, please view this video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9pbUoNa5tyY
Please consider finding someone to help you proofread your papers before submitting them in order to
correct the many misspellings and typos.
MISSED ASSIGNMENT COMPLETELY
You have some good ideas here that will make for a good comparison essay. However, please reread the assignment
materials. You were supposed to compose a comparison/contrast essay that contained each of these parts:
* (Paragraph #1) an intro paragraph with a thesis at the end
* (Paragraphs #2,#3,#4) three body paragraphs, each with a single topic sentence stating a single main point (the
computer being reviewed). The body paragraph should be developed with multiple support sentences and end with a
conclusion statement.
* (Paragraph #5) a conclusion paragraph that restates your thesis and tells importance of the topic.
Please review class materials. I made a video on how to structure your five-paragraph essays. If you are unsure of
the essay formulas that you must use in this class, please review week 1 materials:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IDJ71oqmezM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=joLEGtMcuDI
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3mjyfckFR70
Also view this video on how to use sources in a paper: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NKZVCIqD4_U
REVISE AND RESUBMIT**
Before writing your essays, it is important that you review model papers and watch the chat archives. Please follow
the examples provided. Resubmit your work to this drop box. Good luck. Let me know anything I can do to help.
To correctly format the APA aspects of your manuscript, please view this video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9pbUoNa5tyY
FOLLOW-UP LETTER FOR THOS WHO DID NOT SUBMIT
Dear Students:
All Unit 4 Group Projects that were submitted to me have been graded. If you
completed a Group Project essay but do not have a grade for it, please check to see if
you left your copy of the final essay in your small group area but havenot yet sent it to
me via your “submit assignment” link.
In order for your IP and GP work to be graded, it must be sent to me via the “submit
assignment” link. No one can submit work for you. This is a rule at AIU that has to do
with the auditing of student work. You must submit your own IP and GP work to be
graded.
The assignment directions stated: “Click here if you need to watch a tutorial on submitting
individual project files” and also provided a link to submit your individual file. The need to
submit your own copy of this essay was also covered in the chat archives, for which each student
is responsible for listening to.
No late penalties. Just please get it in ASAP.
David
Unit 4 Discussion Board
50 – 100%
45 – 90%
40 – 80%
35 – 70%
30 – 60%
25 – 50%
ALL GOOD
This assignment required three posts from you: a main post that contained strong/weak paragraphs from your own
writing, and then two posts that reviewed the paragraphs of your classmates. Your reviews were to contain
comments on five areas: the topic of the paragraph, details that could strengthen the paragraph, author’s viewpoint,
quotation of an effective passage, and a final ranking on a 1-5 scale, from Very Effective to Not at All Effective. Your
work in each of these areas was outstanding as you provided helpful commentary to your classmates. Thank you for
a strong effort and the gift of your insights.
GOOD – FAILED TO QUOTE CLASSMATES’ ORIGINAL PARAGRAPHS
This assignment required three posts from you: a main post that contained strong/weak paragraphs from your own
writing, and then two posts that reviewed the paragraphs of your classmates. Your review was supposed to contain
comments on five areas: the topic of the paragraph, needed details, viewpoint, quotation of an effective passage,
and a final ranking on a 1-5 scale, from Very Effective to Not at All Effective. Your work in these areas was
outstanding as you provided helpful commentary to your classmate. Please reread the assignment directions: You
were supposed to copy and paste the original paragraphs along with your response to them.
GOOD – DID NOT LIST DETAILS
This assignment required three posts from you: a main post that contained strong/weak paragraphs from your own
writing, and then two posts that reviewed the paragraphs of your classmates. Your review was supposed to contain
comments on five areas: the topic of the paragraph, needed details, viewpoint, quotation of an effective passage,
and a final ranking on a 1-5 scale, from Very Effective to Not at All Effective. Your work in most of these areas was
outstanding as you provided helpful commentary to your classmate. One area that needed more commentary from
you was the details that the authors could have added to strengthen the paragraph.
BAD DID NOT LIST DETAILS - FAILED TO QUOTE CLASSMATES’ ORIGINAL PARAGRAPHS
This assignment required three posts from you: a main post that contained strong/weak paragraphs from your own
writing, and then two posts that reviewed the paragraphs of your classmates. Your review was supposed to contain
comments on five areas: the topic of the paragraph, needed details, viewpoint, quotation of an effective passage,
and a final ranking on a 1-5 scale, from Very Effective to Not at All Effective. I found some response to these areas
but the responses were brief and lacked necessary level of commentary and detail. Some areas were left out. Please
reread the assignment directions: You were supposed to copy and paste the original paragraphs along with your
response to them.
ONLY ONE REVIEW
This assignment required three posts from you: a main post that contained strong/weak paragraphs from your own
writing, and then two posts that reviewed the paragraphs of your classmates. Your review was supposed to contain
comments on five areas: the topic of the paragraph, needed details, viewpoint, quotation of an effective passage,
and a final ranking on a 1-5 scale, from Very Effective to Not at All Effective. Your work in these areas was
outstanding as you provided helpful commentary to your classmate. Please reread the assignment directions: You
were supposed to post reviews of paragraphs by two classmates. I could only find one.
BELOW AVERAGE DETAILS – ONLY ONE REVIEW
This assignment required three posts from you: a main post that contained strong/weak paragraphs from your own
writing, and then two posts that reviewed the paragraphs of your classmates. Your review was supposed to contain
comments on five areas: the topic of the paragraph, needed details, viewpoint, quotation of an effective passage,
and a final ranking on a 1-5 scale, from Very Effective to Not at All Effective. I found some response to these areas
but the responses were brief and lacked necessary level of commentary and detail. Some areas were left out. Also,
please reread the assignment directions: You were supposed to post reviews of paragraphs by two classmates. I
could only find one.
MISSED ASSIGNMENT + ORIGINAL PARAGRAPHS ONLY – NO REVIEWS
This assignment required three posts from you: a main post that contained strong/weak paragraphs from your own
writing, and then two posts that reviewed the paragraphs of your classmates. Your review of your peers was
supposed to contain comments on five specific areas in this order: the topic of the paragraph, needed details,
viewpoint, quotation of an effective passage, and a final ranking on a 1-5 scale, from Very Effective to Not at All
Effective.
I saw only the posting of your original paragraphs—no reviews of classmates.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Unit 5 IP
GREAT JOB ON ALL ASPECTS
This is an excellent piece of work. The assignment directions call for you to write a process essay that provides clear
directions to the reader. This essay required an introduction paragraph with a clear thesis (the overall point of the
essay), then body paragraphs which presented main steps in support of that process. Most importantly you were to
use detail to make your directions clear. Finally, you were to follow APA guidelines for preparing your title page and
body of your manuscript.
You produced a unified essay with a strong thesis, support points and details. You also used APA manuscript
guidelines well to prepare your manuscript. Congrats!
You will also want to get someone to help your proofread your work before turning it in for a grade to help catch
typos and misspellings.
GOOD EXCEPT APA
The content in this submission was good. The assignment directions call for you to write a process essay that
provides clear directions to the reader. This essay required an introduction paragraph with a clear thesis (the overall
point of the essay), then body paragraphs which presented main steps in support of that process. Most importantly
you were to use detail to make your directions clear. Finally, you were to follow APA guidelines for preparing your
title page and body of your manuscript.
However, your submission did not follow all of the guidelines for preparing an APA manuscript. Please review one of
these two videos and conform your papers to all of the guidelines covered:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9pbUoNa5tyY OR http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w_-RB93hB10 Your
submissions at AIU must look exactly like what you see in the videos.
You will also want to get someone to help your proofread your work before turning it in for a grade to help catch
typos and misspellings.
GOOD EXCEPT INTRO
You did a good job with most of the essay basics that we worked on throughout the course: a clear thesis, an
organizational plan built around three main points expressed as topic sentences in your body paragraphs, and use of
details to support your points. Congrats on mastery of these fundamentals of the narrative essay! You should be
proud of your work in this area.
Main area you need to work on: AN ADEQUATE INTRODUCTION. The abstract paragraph is not the same as your
introduction paragraph. The abstract paragraph and introduction paragraph are two separate paragraphs. So, visit
these links and learn to write this type of paragraph: http://www.peakwriting.com/UMUC/IntroToIntros.pdf and
http://polaris.umuc.edu/ewc/tutorials/introductions
To correctly format the APA aspects of your manuscript, please view this video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9pbUoNa5tyY
LACKS PARAGRAPH DEVELOPMENT
You did a good job collecting information for this process essay. Congrats! But the problem is with not providing
adequate development sections to your body paragraphs. As we reviewed in chats, your body paragraphs should
consist of at least 8 sentences in the State, Explain, Support, Conclude formula. The support section should be the
majority of those 8 sentences. Please watch this video on how to develop your body paragraphs:
http://polaris.umuc.edu/ewc/tutorials/paragraphs/
http://polaris.umuc.edu/ewc/tutorials/transitions
Also continue to work on your APA paper format style:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9pbUoNa5tyY
LACK 5-GRAF STRUCTURE
You did a good job collecting information about this topic. Congrats! However, the main problem is that your
submission does not follow the basic structure of an academic essay. This assignment required an
introduction paragraph with a clear thesis (the overall point of the essay), then body paragraphs which presented
main steps that provide readers direction in completing the process. Most importantly you were to use details
(memories, stories) to support your main points. Finally, you were to follow APA guidelines for preparing your title
page and body page of your manuscript.
Also, many of the body paragraphs in this submission do not follow the state—explain—support—
conclude structure. As a result, the body paragraphs seemed like a collection of sentences and not a
structured explanation about a single step in a process. Please review the formula for a body paragraph.
To see a model of the five-parargraph essay, view this video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IDJ71oqmezM When writing essays in this class, please follow the
formulas provided.
Please view this video for techniques on how to properly format your manuscript in APA style -http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9pbUoNa5tyY
OFF-TOPIC RESPONSE
This is an off-topic response. The assignment directions call for you to write a process essay that provides clear
directions to the reader. This essay required an introduction paragraph with a clear thesis (the overall point of the
essay), then body paragraphs which presented main steps explaining a how-to process of doing something. The
essay is suppoed to teach someone else how to do something. Most importantly you were to use detail to make your
directions clear. Finally, you were to follow APA guidelines for preparing your title page and body of your manuscript.
This submission did not follow or accomplish the assignment directions.
NEED HELP WITH SPELLING/TYPOS/GRAMMAR
You should also consider having someone to help you read over your papers and correct for typos and misspellings
before you turn the papers in. Please consider using AIU’s English Lab.
GOOD STRUCTURE—GRAMMAR NOT AT COLLEGE LEVEL—NEED TUTORING HELP
In terms of your grammar: there was a problem with periods, proper verb forms, missing words, pronoun
agreement, missing -ed for verbs, and spelling. Please do some extra work in this area. In order to pass this course,
you should begin reading your work out loud. If you do, you will find many of the “errors” that I saw. Also consider
finding someone to help you proofread your papers for these kinds of errors. ! In terms of your manuscript
formatting there was a problem with the settings. Please do some extra work in this area. Here is an excellent
video for this area: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9pbUoNa5tyY and
http://www.peakwriting.com/aiu/MODEL-1APA_ESSA.pdf
ENGLISH AS A SECOND LANGUAGE
In terms of your grammar--many of your sentences are not fully understandable. Words and phrases were
confusing, necessary punctuation was missing. It is essential that you read your papers out loud to catch your
typing errors. You should also consider having someone to help you read over your papers and correct the English
before you turn the papers in. Please consider using AIU’s English Lab. You had major problems and should seek
tutoring at AIU’s Learning Lab in order to pass this course.
Unit 5 Discussion Board
ALL GOOD
Good essay. You focused on the key writing issues involved. You also applied the basic
principles of essay organization that we practiced: intro+thesis, 3 body grafs, conclusion. Your
mechanics were sound.
GOOD – SOME ESSAY ELEMENTS MISSING
Good essay. You focused on the key writing issues involved. In this assignment, you were also
to demonstrate mastery of the basic principles of essay organization that we practiced:
intro+thesis, 3 body grafs (with topic sentences), conclusion. The essay lacked elements of this
basic structure.
GOOD – THIN DETAILS, LIKE AN OUTLINE
Good essay. You focused on the key writing issues involved. In this assignment, you were also
to demonstrate mastery of the basic principles of essay organization that we practiced:
intro+thesis, 3 body grafs (with topic sentences), conclusion. The essay lacked enough details
in the body paragraph for the development of your main points.
GOOD – EXCEPT MECHANICS
Good essay. You focused on the key writing issues involved. You also applied the basic
principles of essay organization that we practiced: intro+thesis, 3 body grafs, conclusion. The
only thing that brought your grade down: mechanics. Going forward, I really hope you take my
suggestion about reading out loud and letting someone else read your work out loud before
turning it in.
SOME ESSAY ELEMENTS MISSING – BAD MECHANICS
Interesting details. However, in this assignment, you were to demonstrate mastery of the basic
principles of essay organization that we practiced: intro+thesis, 3 body grafs (with topic
sentences), conclusion. The story lacked elements of this basic essay structure. Another thing
that brought down your grade was mechanics. Going forward, I really hope you take my
suggestion about reading out loud and letting someone else read your work out loud before
turning it in.
MISSED COMPLETELY
Please reread the assignment directions. In this assignment, you were to describe a specific
writing experience—English 106. Your essay was to contain an intro+thesis, 3 body grafs (with
topic sentences), conclusion. The submission lacked elements of these basic requirements. As
always, to receive full credit, you must have responded substantively to two classmates.
NO FOLLOW UP TO CLASSMATES
However, you must post two comments to classmates to receive full credit.
PLAGIARISM
There are passages taken word-for-word from your sources that do not have quote marks.
Without quote marks, a reader does not know these are a source's sentences, not yours. Even if
you cite this word-for-word borrowing, it is still considered plagiarism if you do not use quote
marks. The best way to avoid plagiarism to understand clearly what you can and can't do with
sources. So I want you to: <___> 1. Visit these two sites and complete the work there: <___>
http://www.fairfield.edu/x13870.xml <___>
http://www.umuc.edu/prog/ugp/ewp_writingcenter/modules/plagiarism/start.html <___>
The best way to avoid plagiarism to understand clearly what you can and can't do with sources.
So I want you to: <___> 1. Visit these two sites and complete the work there: <___>
http://www.fairfield.edu/x13870.xml <___>
http://www.umuc.edu/prog/ugp/ewp_writingcenter/modules/plagiarism/start.html <___>
2. Write a definition of plagiarism and how to avoid it. Email it to me. <___> 3. Rewrite your
essay using your own words and citing sources appropriately. When you are ready to submit
your essay again, please contact me. <___> Let's consider this an unintentional mistake. Learn
what you did wrong. If it happens again, the consequences are serious.
VIDEOS
Format your papers according to APA guidelines. See http://www.peakwriting.com/Word/header/new.html and
http://www.peakwriting.com/MODEL_APA_ESSAY.pdf