What Are Emotions?
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Made up of four components:
 Physiological
Feelings
 Nonverbal Reactions
 Cognitive Interpretations
 Verbal Expressions
Physiological Feelings

Strong Emotions trigger bodily
changes
 Increased
heart rate
 Rise
in BP
 Slowing of digestion

Physiological messages can offer
clues to your emotions once you
become aware of them
Nonverbal Reactions
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Not all physical changes
accompany emotions
Easy to tell when one experiences
a strong emotion, but hard to
determine the exact emotion being
conveyed
Facial expressions mimic feelings
Cognitive
Interpretations
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Our minds play an important role in
determining how we feel
What we think determines our
particular feeling.
Verbal Expressions

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We cannot always rely on
perceptiveness to make sure the
message is conveyed
appropriately
Emotional intelligence
Types of Emotions
Emotional Intelligence

The ability to recognize which
feelings are appropriate in which
situations and the skill to
communicate those feelings
effectively.
Typical Emotions
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Anger
Anxiety
Content
Disgust
Fear
Gratitude
Guilt
Typical Emotions
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Happiness
Jealousy
Joy
Pleasure
Relief
Sadness
Surprise
Influences on Emotion
Major Influences
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Personality
Culture
Biological Sex and Gender
Power
Social Conventions
Social Roles
Fear of Disclosure
Emotional Contagion
Personality

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Extroverted vs. Introverted
Neurotic vs. Non-neurotic
Culture

Universal expression of emotions
 happiness
 sadness
 surprise
 anger
 disgust
 fear
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Situational Differences
Degree of Expression Differences
Culture Continued...

Ethnicity
 Blacks
 Asians
 Whites

Individualism vs. Collectivism
 external
display
 internal experience
 Data from study
Biological Sex and
Gender

Women
 more
attuned
 better memories of emotional
images
 more intense reactions
 larger range of emotions

Men
 Reveal
positive emotions (NOT
negative ones)
 More likely to disclose to women
Power

The less powerful individual is
more aware of emotions of the
more powerful person
 Intimidation
factor
Social Conventions

direct expression of emotions
 ex.
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indirect expression of emotions
 ex.
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United States
Japan
Individualism-Collectivism
impacts??
Social Roles
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Emotional usage is decreased due
to acceptable social roles.
One loses the ability to show
certain emotions when they are
continually repressed.
Fear of Self-Disclosure
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Example: It’s hard for a boss to
admit when he/she is wrong
Those that disclose can be
misunderstood
 Affection
= romantic invitation
 Uncertainty = weakness
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Honesty can cause discomfort
Honesty can be used against you
Emotional Contagion
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Definition: When one becomes
influenced by the emotions of
others around them.
Varying degrees
Fast process with no verbal
communication needed.
Others…
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EVERYTHING influences
emotion!!
Religion, individual personal
experiences etc.
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Regardless of influences on
emotions, there are healthy and
unhealthy ways to express them.
The next section looks into the
guidelines of healthy emotional
expressions.
Guidelines for Expressing
Emotions
Advice and Techniques for
Effective Emotional
Expression
Effects of Emotional
Expression
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Emotional expression has a
tremendous effect on health and
well-being.
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Physiological effects
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Relational effects
Physiological Effects
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Emotional suppression increases risk of
physical problems such as, cancer,
asthma, heart disease (DeAngelis,
1992).
Emotional inhibition also causes a
increased risk for psychological
problems, such as, anxiety or depression
(Krause et al., 2003).
Overly aggressive expression can lead
to high blood pressure and increased
stress (Mayne, 1993).
A healthy balance is key.
Relational Effects
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Pent-up emotions are harder to
control and more likely to be
expressed violently.
Lack of expression leads to
relationship stagnation.
Healthy emotional expression
increases intimacy, promotes
relationship growth, and allows
problems to be fixed before they
escalate.
Steps to Healthy
Emotional Expression
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Recognize Your Feelings.
Choose the Best Language.
Share Multiple Feelings.
Recognize the Difference Between
Feeling and Acting.
Accept Responsibility for Your
Feelings.
Choose the Best Time and Place.
Recognize Your Feelings
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Pay attention to your body.
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Know your “emotional triggers”.
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Don’t underestimate the importance of
feelings.
Watch your gestures.
Choose the Best
Language
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“Wanting” isn’t the same thing as
“feeling”.
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Don’t rely on common adjectives.
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Be specific.
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Use metaphors or examples.
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State the cause of the emotion when
possible.
Share Multiple Feelings
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Feelings are all related.
Same event can cause many
different emotions.
Express as many emotions as
possible.
Don’t be afraid to elaborate.
Recognize the
Difference Between
Feeling and Acting
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Don’t try to be a hero.
Don’t pretend to feel something you
don’t.
Simply acting on feelings does not
always alleviate them.
Feelings do not always have to lead to
action.
Accept Responsibility for
Your Feelings
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Don’t blame others for your
feelings in your expression, even if
they are the cause.
Don’t try to hide or cover up your
feelings to please someone else.
Choose the Best Time and
Place
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Give yourself some time to
prepare.
Plan out what you are going to say;
write it down if you like.
Don’t have an emotional
discussion when you are tired,
sick, or under severe stress.
Devote the necessary time.
Make sure the other person is
prepared to listen.
When Not to Express
Emotions
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If you are sure you will have
difficulty controlling your emotions.
If the other person is unable to
listen at that moment.
If the consequences might be
worse than dealing with the
emotions (authority figure).
Look for an indirect route.
Enlist a third party or mediator.
Expressing Positive
Emotions
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Most people associate emotional
expression with problems or difficulties.
Happiness is also an emotion.
Feel free to express happiness,
confidence, success and contentment.
Praise and complement your significant
other when you are proud of them.
Surround yourself with people who will
be happy for you.
Must be aware of the time and place!
Summary
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Emotional expression is healthy
and necessary for good
relationships.
Know how you feel and why you
feel it.
Express your emotions calmly and
specifically.
“Acting out” isn’t necessary.
Choose your time and place
carefully.
Don’t be afraid to express positive
emotions!
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It is true that healthy emotional
expression can be more difficult for
certain emotions
The next section involves a wide
range of feelings that affect our
communication skills.
Managing Difficult
Emotions
Facilitative and
Debilitative Emotions
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Facilitative Emotions- emotions
that contribute to effective
functioning
Debilitative Emotions- emotions
that hinder or prevent effective
performance
Characteristics of
Debilitative Emotions
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Intensity
Duration
Irrational Thoughts That
Can Lead to Debilitative
Emotions
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Fallacy of Perfection- A
communicator should handle all
situations well
Very inspiring, but unrealistic
Irrational Thoughts That
Can Lead to Debilitative
Emotions
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Fallacy of Approval- A
communicator has to constantly
obtain everyone’s approval
Communicator sacrifices their own
principles and/or happiness
Irrational Thoughts That
Can Lead to Debilitative
Emotions
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Fallacy of Should- A communicator
doesn’t distinguish between what
is and what should be
Communicator often wants others
to behave differently
Irrational Thoughts That
Can Lead to Debilitative
Emotions
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Fallacy of Overgeneralization- A
communicator doesn’t distinguish
between what is and what should
be
Communicator often wants others
to behave differently
Irrational Thoughts That
Can Lead to Debilitative
Emotions
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Fallacy of Causation- A
communicator feels they shouldn’t
do anything to hurt or
inconvenience others
Often communicator’s needs are
overlooked
Irrational Thoughts That
Can Lead to Debilitative
Emotions
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Fallacy of Helplessness- Forces
beyond a communicators control
determine their satisfaction
Causes the communicator to feel
like a victim
Irrational Thoughts That
Can Lead to Debilitative
Emotions
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Fallacy of Catastrophic
Expectations- A communicator
believes if something bad can
happen, it will
Causes ruminations of thoughts
and feelings
How to Minimize
Debilitative Emotions
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Monitor your emotional reactions
Note activating/triggering events
 Specific
people
 Specific events
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Dispute irrational events
 Why
they are irrational events
 Why your have them
References
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Adler, R.B., Rosenfeld, L.B., & Proctor, R.F. (2004).
Interplay: The Process of Interpersonal
Communication (9th ed.). New York: Oxford University
Press.
DeAngelis, T. (1992). Illness linked with repressive style
of coping. APA Monitor, pp. 14-15.
Krause, E.D., Mendelson, T. & Lynch, T.R. (2003).
Childhood emotional invalidation and adult
psychological distress: The mediating role of emotional
inhibition. Child Abuse and Neglect, 27(2), p 199-214.
Mayne, T.J. (1999). Negative affect and health: The
importance of being earnest. Cognition and Emotion,
13(5), pp. 201-236.