Comm 3402
Fall 2006
Introduction to Interpersonal
Communication
Updated 12/10/06
Exercise 1
In 1-2 paragraphs, define Interpersonal
Communication
Form Groups of 4-6 persons, share your
definitions
As a group, formulate one definition of
Interpersonal Communication
Defining Communication
Communication
Exchange
Communication
Communication
Communication
Reality
Communication
as Information
as Creation of Meaning
as Social Influence
as Creation of Social
as Relationship
A simple Information
Exchange Model
Sender---->Message----> Receiver
A More Complex Information
Exchange Model
(Feedback)
Receiver
Sender
(encoding)
Message
Channel
with
Noise
(decoding)
Defining Communication as
Information Exchange
Draws attention to the messages
Draws attention to communication channels
Draws attention to the role of interference
(noise) and means of overcoming it
Draws attention to the processes of encoding
and decoding
Draws attention to the role of feedback
Semantic Triangle
Reference
(Thought)
Symbol
(Word)
Referent
(Thing)
Meaning of Words
Denotative:
- the dictionary
definition
- shared by speech
community
Connotative:
- associations a
person has for
the word
- highly
idiosyncratic
Defining Communication as
Creating Meaning
Draws attention to the nature of
symbols
Draws attention to the relationship
between symbol and referent
Draws attention to processes that
create shared meanings
Draws attention to negotiations about
the meaning of ambiguous symbols
Defining Social Influence
Effecting (Attempting) changes in
other’s:




Behaviors
Attitudes
Beliefs
Values
Defining Communication as
Social Influence
Draws attention to the goals & intentions of
communicators
Draws attention to the causes of behavior
Draws attention to the bases of beliefs,
values, & attitudes
Draws attention to persuasive features of
messages
Draws attention to resistance to influence
Social Reality
Those aspects of a person’s life-world whose
existence and meaning is the result of a
social process, usually the agreement of
significant others (including self).
Social reality is not limited to socially created
features of the life-world, but includes the
perception of naturally occurring features as
well.
Defining Communication as
Creating Social Reality
Draws attention to the processes by which we
create agreement among people
Draws attention to values, norms, & ethics
Draws attention to how we are perceived
Draws attention to how we perceive others
and create reality for them
Relationship
Interdependence of Individuals




Psychologically
Emotional
Instrumental
Social
Defining Communication as
Relationship
Draws attention to Interaction &
Interpersonal Behavior
Draws attention to mutual Dependence
Draws attention to mutual Influence
Draws attention to relationship
development
Defining Interpersonal
Communication
Interpersonal Communication is any
interaction between two or more
persons who exchange information,
create meaning, and influence each
other and who through this process
create social reality for themselves and
others and create and maintain
relationships with each other.
Assignment: Speed Meeting
Form groups of four with people you do
NOT know yet.
Meet each of you group members for 3
minutes each (TA will give times)
After meeting each, write down what
you talked about with each member,
what you learned about them, what
they learned about you.
Axioms of the
Interactional View
1) One cannot not communicate
2) Comm. is digital and analogical
3) Comm. = Content + Relationship
4) Relationship depends on Punctuation
5) Comm. is complementary or
symmetrical
5 Misconceptions
Consistency
Simple Meaning
Communicator independence
Obvious causation
Finality
Social Penetration Theory
Relationship Growth = More Intimacy
Intimacy results from Self-Disclosure
Increase Depths of Self-Disclosure
Increase Breadth of Self-Disclosure
Motivation for Self-Disclosure is
expected outcome (rewards-costs)
Self-Disclosure and Intimacy
Intimate
Relationship
Non-Intimate
Relationship
Four Stages of Exchange
1) Orientation
- limited to public areas, no-evaluative, cautious
2) exploratory affective exchange
- friendly & relaxed, some self-disclosure
3) affective exchange
- open exploration of intimacy, high SD
4) stable exchange
- high intimacy enables efficient communication
Johari Window
(Joseph Luft & Harrington Ingham)
Aspects of Self
yes
Known
to Self
no
hidden
open
unknown
blind
no
yes
Known to Other
Social Exchange Theory
(Thibaut & Kelly)
Terms
O = Perceived Outcome
CL = Expectation
CLalt = Perceived Alternatives
Predictions about Self-Disclosure
Satisfaction: compare O and CL
Stability: compare O and CLalt
Dyadic Effect
Dyadic Effect: Observation that selfdisclosure by one person is usually
reciprocated by the other.
Explanations:
Norm of Reciprocity
Attributions
Attributions for Self-Disclosure
Cause for SD:



Self
Other
Relationship (situation?)
Valence:



Positive
Neutral
Negative
Attributions and Reciprocation
Attribution
Positive
Neutral
Negative
Self
+ SD
+/- SD
- SD
Other
+ SD
+/- SD
- SD
Relationship
+ SD
+/- SD
- SD
Factors Affecting Attributions
Timing of Self-Disclosure
Social Rules & Norms
Relationship History
Salient Situational Factors
Content of Self-Disclosure
Group exercise
Consider the factors affecting
attributions about S-D. In your group,
come up with an example for each
factor, and also, if you can, with another
example for another factor not on the
list.
Write these on a piece of paper to hand
in at the end of the exercise.
Communication & Relationship
Development I
Narrow  Broad
Public  Personal
Stylized  Unique
Difficult  Efficient
Communication & Relationship
Development II
Rigid  Flexible
Awkward  Smooth
Hesitant  Spontaneous
Judgment suspended  Judgment given
Partner Interdependence
Partner affect each other in all eight
behaviors
Effect can be symmetrical or
complementary
Both partners determine relationship
development
Stages of Coming Together
and Coming Apart
Chapter 2
Stage Models – a few
comments
Descriptive – what patterns tend to
happen.
Not evaluative – do not judge “good” or
bad.”
Generalizable – apply to all types of
relationships.
Behaviors not limited to certain stages
Related to the 8 dimensions of
communication
Stage Theory of Relationship
Development
Coming Together
 Initiating
 Experimenting
 Intensifying
 Integrating
 Bonding
Coming Apart
 Differentiating
 Circumscribing
 Stagnating
 Avoiding
 Terminating
Initiating – 1st Stage
Fairly narrow
“Pre-communication” and greetings
Influenced by




Previous experience
Time since last greeting
Time allowed for interaction
Situational/normative constraints
Experimenting – 2nd Stage
Goals are to


Learn unknown information
Find a common area for discussion
Very broad stage – remain here with
most people (i.e. acquaintances)
Intensifying – 3rd Stage
Intimacy intensifies
Verbal/Nonverbal comm. becomes more
informal.
Use of collective pronouns and idioms
Expressed commitment
Permeability of space
Typically a very long stage
Integrating – 4th Stage
Treated as a couple by social circles
Intimacy trophies
Similar dress
Common property
Synchronizing behavior
Bonding – 5th Stage
Commitment formalized by public rituals

Marriage, engagement
Main difference from integrating is
social support for the relationship
Makes the relationship harder to end
Differentiating – 1st Stage
Uncoupling:

Less “we”, more “you” and “I”
Focus on differences
More overt & frequent conflict
Circumscribing – 2nd Stage
Breadth and Depth of talk decreases

“Let’s just drop it.” or “I don’t want to get
into that.”
Increased formality / public
performances
Reduced “echo responses”

“I love you” – “I love you too”
Stagnating – 3rd Stage
Communication comes to a standstill

Ex: Parent-child relationships during teens
More rigid, difficult, awkward
Covert dialogs
Those who stay in this stage may have
reasons external to relationship

Ex: Parents who “stay together for the
kids”
Avoiding – 4th Stage
Avoidance of FTF or VTV encounter
Subtle / indirect cues

Ex: “I don’t really have a lot of time.”
Cognitive dissociation


Mentally and emotionally detached
Happens when physical avoidance is not
possible.
Terminating – 5th Stage
Final stage of any relationship - many
do not go through this stage
Marked by distance & disassociation
Dialog characterized by 3 topics



Past – where were we?
Present – where are we now?
Future – where will we be?
Exercise
Form groups of 5-6 people
In each group, determine the stage that
each of the dyads is in their relationship
Write down the stages and how you
determined it to hand in after the
exercise
Moving through the stages
Generally systematic & sequential
Each stage is influenced by the one
before
Predictions about relationships are
easier when they are sequenced
When stages are skipped, there in an
increase in uncertainty about what
happens next.
Movement (cont.)
May be forward

Increases intimacy
May be backward

Decreases intimacy
Occurs within stages and to a new
place

Communication changes things!!
What affects movement?
Experience with a given stage
Rewards
Time allotted
Proximity
Situational factors
Individual needs
Violations of relational norms/rules
Theoretical Explanations
Need of Intimacy
Social Exchange Theory
Dialectical Theory
Social Exchange
Evaluation of rewards & costs
associated with resources in a given
relationship
How are rewards and cost perceived?
What outcome motivates partners,
profit or equity?
Five Aspects of Exchange
1)
2)
3)
4)
5)
Reward & Cost: Difference or Ratio?
Absolute Rewards and Costs
Immediate Rewards and Costs
Forecast Rewards and Costs
Cumulative Rewards and Costs
Profit vs. Equity Motivation
Profit = an individual’s rewards/cost ratio
Equity = each person’s rewards/costs
ratio is about equal
Exchange Rules and Intimacy
1) exchange becomes more heteromorphic as
intimacy increases
2) amount of time before return is needed
increases as intimacy increases
3) need to return resource of equivalent value
decreases as intimacy increases
4) exchange becomes less contingent as
intimacy increases
Exchange Rules and Intimacy
5) range of resources that are exchanged
increases as intimacy increases
6) obligation to exchange resources is more
transferable to another person as intimacy
increases
7) degree to which persons feel obligated to
initiate in exchange increases as intimacy
increases
8) degree of acceptable unilateral indebtedness
increases as intimacy increases
Limitations of Social Exchange
Theory:
Important terms such as resource are
undefined or defined too broadly
The mechanism that is used to compute
and remember balances is undefined
Exchange rules are clear only for low
intimacy
Exchange rules are unclear for high
intimacy
Communal Relationships
Based on concern for welfare of other
Need is basis for transfer of resources
Receipt of benefit does not create
“debt” or obligation to “return favor”
Characterized by “equality of affect”
Comparing Exchange &
Communal Relationships
Exchange
Norm of
Reciprocity
Transfer initiated if
other can
reciprocate
Relationship is
means for
instrumental goals
Communal
Norm of Mutual
Responsiveness
Transfer initiated if
other in need
Relationship is
intrinsically
rewarding
Dialectical Theory
Movement results from unavoidable
dialectical tensions and how they are
managed
Dialectical tensions result from two
contradicting desires/needs
Opposing desires/needs lead to
relationship escalation OR de-escalation
thru the stages
Relational Dialectics
Unlike Hegelian Dialectics, no
synthetical resolution
Most crucial in 3 dimensions
1)
2)
3)
Affiliation
Predictability
Intimacy
Dialectics are internal & external
Internal & External Dialectics
INTERNAL
– Connectedness –
Separateness
– Certainty –
Uncertainty
– Openness –
Closedness
EXTERNAL
– Inclusion –
Seclusion
– Conventionality –
Uniqueness
– Revelation –
Concealment
Responses to Dialectics
Functional Responses


Acknowledge dialectical tensions
Facilitate movements and temporary balances
Dysfunctional Responses


Deny or minimize dialectical tensions
Try to establish stability and permanent
balances
The Nature of the
Communicators
Chapter 3
What influences communication?
Interpersonal Needs
Point in lifespan
Personality Traits
Sex (Gender)
3 Interpersonal Needs Schutz
Inclusion

Want to be included in other people’s
activities and to include them in our activities.
Control

To have control/dominance over other people
or for them to have control/dominance over
you.
Affection

To give and to receive affection.
Symmetry & Complementarity
Constellation of Individual Needs in Dyad


Symmetry: Similar needs
Complementarity: Complementing needs
Influence relational communication
Schutz IP Needs (cont.)
Needs change over time and with different
relationships
We may or may not be aware of our own
inclusion, control, or affection needs.

Can become more aware when they present
complications in our relationship.
Needs Change over Lifespan
Infancy / Childhood
Adolescents
Adulthood
Old Age
Exercise
Based on the clip, what are the two
actors’ interpersonal needs? How does
that affect their interaction?
Personality Traits
Traits: Relatively stable tendencies or
predispositions to behave & respond in a
certain manner.
Persist over time and across various
situations
Example Anxiety: State vs. Trait


State – feeling anxious about a job interview
Trait – feeling anxious most of the time
Dogmatism
Absolute commitment to belief system
that makes it unquestionable
4 characteristics of high dogmatism




Rigid view of world: “black and white”
Rejection of contrary beliefs
Associated with authoritarianism & obedience
See world as hostile and threatening
Implications for Communication
Won’t compromise in conflict situations
Use orders and threats to persuade
More persuaded by the source of a
message than by the content
Don’t adopt others’ views – less likely to
develop empathy and intimacy
Machiavellianism
View social world in terms of power and
individual achievement
3 Characteristics



Willingness to manipulate others
Cynicism about human nature
No concern for conventional morality
Implications for Communication
Are persuasive & achieve personal goals
Often at expense of other/relationship

Ex: Bargaining game. Divide $10 between 2
people in a group of 3.
Machiavellianism
High
Medium
Low
% getting $$ Average $$
100
71
29
5.57
3.14
1.29
Narcissism
“Love of Self”
Self-centered / Egotistical
5 Communication Characteristics
1)
2)
3)
4)
5)
Self-centeredness
Self-exaggeration
Exhibitionism
Exploitation
Entitlement
Implications for Communication
“One-up manship”– tell them something, and
they have a better one
Topic shifting– back to talking about themselves
or their experiences
Excessive use of 1st person pronouns
Extreme (and inappropriate) self disclosure
Neediness: always searching for praise
Exercise
By yourself: think about personality
traits that impact interpersonal comm.
List the three most important ones
Make sure you also focus on positive
ones
Form groups of 5-6 and discuss your
findings. Agree on a final ranking &
prepare to defend your conclusion
Gender Differences
Differences in Interpersonal Behavior
Based on differences in Personal and
Interpersonal Needs
Guess which sex...
Men
More Romantic
Falls in love faster
Falls out of love faster
Sees more problems
More likely to initiate breakup
Only initiates B.U. if less involved
Reports B.U. as gradual
More psych. problems after B.U.
More likely to be friends after initiating
B.U.
Women
Actual Gender Differences
Limited to relatively few behaviors
Variance within larger than variance
between
♂ ♀
Features of Women’s Talk
ask more questions
engage in conversational maintinance
verbal minimal responses
silent protest
more integrative language
Features of Men’s Talk
interrupt more
more challenges & disputes
ignore others
control topic
more declarations and opinions
Cross-Gender Miscommunication
Minimal Responses

agreement vs. interest
Questions

request for info vs. keeping other talking
Introducing Topics & Topic Shifts

individual responsibility vs. cooperation
Discussing Problems

finding solutions vs. empathy
A Final Word
Some gender differences are real
Genders more similar than dissimilar
Relevance of gender differences varies
greatly among couples depending on
unique constellation and roles might be
reversed
The Communication Environment:
Cultural and Physical
Chapter 4
What environmental factors
influence communication?
Physical Environment
Cultural Environment
Factors of Communication
Relationship
Culture
Personality Traits
Interpersonal Needs
Communication
Behavior
Sex (Gender)
Physical Environment
Physical Environment
Components of a Physical Setting
Perceptions of Communication
Environments
Major Components
of Physical Settings
Natural environment
Architectural structure and design
Movable objects
Presence or absence of other people
Perceptions of Communication
Environments
Perceptions
Perceptions
Perceptions
Perceptions
Perceptions
Perceptions
of
of
of
of
of
of
Formality
Warmth
Privacy
Familiarity
Constraint
Distance
Perceptions of Formality
Impact on communication





less breadth & depth,
more stylized
less relaxed
more hesitant
more difficult
Perceptions of Warmth
Impact on communication
More personal
 More spontaneous
 more efficient

Perceptions of Privacy
Implications for communication:





more intimacy
less distance
more depth & breadth
more flexible
more spontaneous
Perceptions of Familiarity
Implications for communication:



more certainty
more flexibility
more intimacy
Perceptions of Constraint
Implications for communication:

Less intimacy
Perceptions of Distance
Implications for communication:
Less intimacy
 More formality
 Less spontaneity

Physical Environ. & Initimacy
Intimate communication is associated
with






informality
warmth
privacy
familiarity
no constrain
closeness
Physical Environ. & Comm.
We typically experience a combination of
the perceptions.
Selection of the environment may
influence the outcome of the encounter
and the resulting relationship
Influence of Cultural Environment
Patterns of Work
Relationship Styles
Attitudes toward Self-fulfillment
Messages from the Mass Media
Patterns of Work
Employment of both relationship partners
Changing work environments
Implications for Communication



Less time / more stress
Less clearly defined sex roles
Less relationship satisfaction
Relationship Styles
Changes in Acceptable Relationships
Relationship Needs:
• shared concerns
• dependability
• availability
• supportiveness
Attitudes toward Self-Fulfillment
Changes:
-Self-denial late 1950s
-self-centeredness late 1960s~1970s
-centrality of relationships to our lives
Implications for communication
-whose needs do we focus on?
-what needs to we respond to?
1980s~
Messages from the Mass Media
Various Sources



Popular Literature
Popular Music
Television /Movies
Popular Culture no longer unified
Exercise
Watch “Friends” episode
What are the relational messages
contained in episode?
How do they affect the audience?
How do they affect you?
The Genesis of Dialogue
Chapter 5
Initial interactions
4 human impulses (Davis)

Receive stimulation
 Excitement, variety, change of pace
 Socialize with others who are new/different

Express experience
 Share with others to receive support,
protection.
 Partly motivated by a drive to compare our
experiences with those of others.
4 impulses (cont.)
Assert oneself


We define ourselves in relation to others
Exercise control over our environment to
achieve goals.
Enhance enjoyment of activities


Some activities are “no fun” alone.
Ex: celebrations, holidays
Impulses & Initial Interactions
Facilitation of II

If impulses (needs) are met
Inhibition

If impulses (needs) are blocked
Social Perception
Cognitive modeling of social world
Influences on perception



Cultural conditioning, education, or
personal experiences
How we direct our attention and process
information
Personal needs/desires/emotional states
Gestalt Impression Formation
Tendency to organize initial impressions
into a positive or negative general
working model of other
Everything learned past that point is
framed around that impression
A LOT of contradictory info needed to
change this perception
Formed within the first 1-2 minutes of
meeting
Implicit Personalities
Tendency to assume that certain traits
are linked with other traits.

Nice, attractive, friendly ≠ dishonest &
cruel
Stereotyping
Based on social learning & socialization
Biased Information Processing
Positivity Bias


Bias toward positive perceptions
Tendency to perceive positive as normal
Negativity Effect


Tendency to weight negative info more
heavily
Negative has more information value
Typical Biases
Self-enhancing bias

View successes as dispositional and failures as
situational
Self-centered bias

Overestimation of own effort/ability
Just World Hypothesis


Good behavior results in good fortune & vice
versa.
Karma!
Attributions
Explanations generated to explain
behavior
Fundamental Attribution Error




Own pos. behavior = self
Own neg. behavior = situation
Other pos. behavior = situation
Other neg. behavior = other
Pollyanna Principle
General Tendency to see things more
positive than negative
Evaluate self & others more positively


Ex: On a scale of 1-10, most people rate
themselves as above average (6.5-7)
More people describe themselves as
optimists
Lacking when anxious/depressed
Attraction
Three (interrelated) Types:



Social
Physical
Task
Four Factors




Perceived Rewards
Proximity
Similarity
Physical Attractiveness
Rewards
Provided by other OR Association to
other




Personal
Social
Material
Instrumental
Proximity
Proximity

Physical & social
Festinger (1950) Westgate Study


Friendship formation in apt. complex
People tended to become friends with
those who lived closer to them
Similarity
Greater similarity is attractive



Shared world view
Easier interaction
Easier to be liked
Sometimes, dissimilarity also attractive

complementarity
Qualifications to Similarity
Perceived similarity ≠ actual similarity

People view themselves as more similar to
attractive people than to unattractive
Similarity = attraction only if you like
that about yourself.
Different types of similarity have
different effects.
 Attitudes; personalities; values
Physical Attractiveness
More favorable perceptions of attractive
people



Extends to non-physical qualities (Halo effect)
Starts with young children
Unattractive couples judged to be more
seriously in love
Contrast Effect
Kenrick & Gutierrez (1980)
Does media exposure influence people’s
perceptions of attractiveness?
Interviews conducted when Charlie’s
Angels was on TV. Showed picture and
said they were setting up a friend

Those watching CA rated picture as much
less attractive
Scarcity
Do people really get better looking as
the night gets later?
Went to single’s bars at 10:30 & then
again at closing.
As the night went on, ratings of fellow
patrons’ attractiveness went up.
Chances of picking people up went
down as fewer people were around!
Interaction Rituals
Chapter 7
Interaction Rituals: Overview
Rules & Pragmatics
Greetings
Forms of Address
Relationship openings
Small talk
Communication Rules
“Dos and don’ts” that regulate content
and style of communication
Implicit agreement of communicators
Violations subject to sanction!
However, no sanction if:




Violation is minor
Violator is ignorant / incompetent
Violator is of higher status
Violation/violator is rewarding
Grice’s pragmatics
Necessary conditions for communiation
Maxims of Quantity (be informative)
Maxims of Quality (be truthful)
Maxim of Relation (be relevant)
Maxims of Manner (be appropriate)
Greetings
Acknowledge presence
Establish basic relationship
Confirm group membership
Allow for subsequent communication
Forms of Address
Denote important relationship qualities



Intimacy/affiliation
Hierarchy/power
Affect
Vary in formality




Formal-impersonal
Ambiguous
Informal
Intimate-affectionate
Openers
Establish tone for subsequent
interaction/relationship
Indicate intentions
Signal relationship/association
Effectiveness function of other’s
expectations
Small Talk
Little depth (breadth?) of self-disclosure
Noncommittal/explorative in nature
Has important functions




Affirms affiliation
Creates social bond / socializes
Explores relational development
Enhances enjoyment
Uncertainty Reduction Theory
Persons are motivated to explain &
predict social interactions
Thus, in early stages of relationships,
persons are motivated to reduce
uncertainty
Uncertainty Reduction Strategies
Passive: observing other
Active: asking 3rd parties
Interactive: communicating with other



Asking
Disclosing
Relaxing
Strategy determined by:


Effectiveness
Social Appropriateness
Intimate Dialogue
Chapter 7
Love Styles
Different types of love
Styles refer to IP behaviors associated
with love type
Styles are preferences & can change
over time based on:


Past relationship experiences
Maturity / Life-Stage
Love Styles (Lee, 1973)
Primary Styles

Eros (Love of Beauty)
 passionate, intense, powerful

Ludus (Playful Love)
 playful, non-committal, flirtatious

Storge (Companionate Love)
 affectionate, gradual, stable
Love Styles (Lee, 1973)
Secondary Styles

Mania (Obsessive Love)
 manic, obsessive, extreme

Pragma (Realistic Love)
 practical, rational, pragmatic

Agape (Altruistic Love)
 altruistic, devoted, content
Overview of love styles
Eros
Agape
Mania
Storge
Ludus
Pragma
Eros
“Falling in love” is possible, if not
mandatory to experience love
Idealize relationships, thoroughly
committed to partner
Serial monogamists
Like to please partner (give gifts a lot!)
Sentimental – have keepsakes,
remember all important dates in
relationship
Ludus
Game players, not jealous / possessive
See love as unstable
Avoid dependence and commitment
Goal is to have fun
Often have multiple relationships

The game is to keep them from finding out
about each other.
Storgé
Love is based on/grows out of
friendship
Typically do not fantasize about other
relationships
Happy/satisfied with being in their
relationship
Enjoy the stability/routine nature of the
relationship.
Mania
See love as very unstable
Clingy, needy, very focused on partner

Relationship is like a rollercoaster ride
Jealous, possessive partners
When they fall in love, they fall “hard”
Very intense, extreme highs and lows
Hurt by real or imagined rejection,
dislike absences from partner
Pragma
“Shopping list lovers”
Practical & objective
Very aware of CLalt (Soc. Exch.
Oriented)
Don’t fall in love—choose to be in love
Will go to great lengths for partner if it
will benefit the relationship
Stay together / break up for practical
reasons.
Agapé
Put partner’s needs ahead of own
Don’t feel like they “fall” in love. Love is
there, waiting for the relationship.
Patient, accepting, supportive partners
Unconditional love
Sometimes seen as weak—not so

They are truly forgiving. Most religions
aspire to this type of love.
Exercise
Complete questionnaire on p. 219
Form small groups (3-5) and complete
exercise form handed out
Triangular Theory of Love
(Sternberg 1986)
Love has 3 components



Intimacy: feelings of closeness,
connectedness, warmth
Passion: feelings of romance,
physical/sexual attraction
Commitment: desire to maintain the
relationship
Degrees (i.e., presence) of each vary
Eight Types of Love
Liking: I
Infatuation: P
Empty Love: C
Romantic: I + P
Companionate Love: I + C
Fatuous Love: C + P
Consummate Love: I + P + C
Nonlove: neither I, P, or C
Liking vs. Loving (Rubin)
Liking: 2 parts


Affect: Feelings of warmth, closeness,
fondness toward someone else.
Respect: admiration for a person outside of
your relationship with him/her.
Loving: 3 part
Attachment

Need to be in the other person’s presence
Caring

Desire to give love & be altruistic
Intimacy

A bond or sense of union with other
4 types / outcomes
Liking
Yes
Yes
“Whole”
romantic
relationship
Loving
No
Friendship
No
Physical
Relationship
Not much
respect
Feel nothing
toward person
Foundations of Intimacy
Personality and Early Experiences
Situational and Developmental Factors
Cultural Guidelines
Emotional Arousal and Labeling
Self-Fulfillment
Self-Surrender
Commitment to a Joint Identity
Personality and Early
Experiences
Explain individual intimate communication
patterns through individual characteristics
(innate or learned).
 genetic predispositions and intimacy
 early childhood experiences and intimacy
 personality, perceptions, and intimacy
Genetic predispositions and
intimacy
The nature of early human experiences
with attachment

protection and reproduction
Human’s acts of love today (Buss, 1994)



Men: displays of resources invested in the young
Women: appearance-enhancing acts designed to
show reproductive viability
These two tendencies are deeply rooted in our
development as a species.
Early childhood experiences
and intimacy
Childhood experiences with intimacy
characteristics of a child
later attempts
to build intimate relationships
Patterns of attachment (Hazan & Shaver)
 Secure lovers
 Avoidant lovers
 Anxious/Ambivalent lovers
Personality, perceptions and
intimacy
Personality affects our perceptions of others.
 Self-esteem
 intimacy
Perception of another’s personality
structures our own behavior.
Situational and Developmental
Factors
Facilitate or inhibit intimate relationships
 Situational:
•
Work, family, environment, etc.
 Developmental stages in life
• Intimacy readiness
Cultural Guidelines
Influence how we structure our perceptions
and behavior in intimate relationships
 Normative messages about intimate relationships
 Counter-normative messages
 Transition from counter-normative to normative
messages
 Cultural guidelines are changing.
Emotional Arousal and
Labeling
There are connections between
emotional arousal, the way we label it,
and our consequent behavior.
 When emotional arousal precedes labeling
 When labeling precedes emotional arousal
Self-Fulfillment
The more our needs are fulfilled by the relationship,
the greater will be our feelings of intimacy.
 Affection Needs
 Self-Esteem Needs
 Security Needs
 Freedom Needs
 Equality Needs
The needs can be satisfied in many ways
 Utilitarian, emotional, physical, psychological, etc.
Self-Surrender
Self-surrender deals with giving; selffulfillment deals with needing.
The extent to which one is willing to
give to another person is reflective of
the degree of intimacy he or she feels.
Commitment to a Joint
Identity
Focus on the link between the two people
The link produces a new mixture or identity
The amount of commitment to the new
identity influences the type and level of
intimacy.
Development of the joint
identity
People engage in cultivating the joint identity.
 Conscious efforts (i.e., relationship commitment)
 Unconscious engagement
Movement toward a joint identity
 Mixed-sex pairs: marriage
 Same-sex pairs: consistent common activities
 Difficulty with moving too quickly
A final word
Foundations of intimacy provide tentative
answers to the nature of intimacy and
intimate communication patterns.
Each foundation of intimacy exerts its own
influence on the type and intensity of
intimacy you feel.
The foundations combine in complex ways to
produce a variety of types and levels of
intimacy
Maintaining Relationships
Through Dialogue: Disclosures,
Lies, and Fights
CHAPTER 8
Relationship Maintenance (RM)
RM is the way the partners deal with the
critical and repeated acts of discourse
that constitute their relationship
RM behaviors and the meaning of RM
vary across types of relationships, time,
and individuals
Communication patterns are critical to
maintaining a close relationship
7 types of RM behaviors
7 Types of RM Behaviors
Can be strategic or routine:
Giving advice
Relationship assurances
Effective conflict management*
Appropriate openness*
Positive demeanor
Sharing tasks
Blending social networks
Openness
Openness refers to honest (accurate &
complete) accounts of thoughts,
feelings, & behaviors
Openness largely managed by SelfDisclosure
Other info also important, however
Appropriate Openness
Determined by
Relationship:



Type (personal, professional, public, etc.)
Development (stage, history)
Dialectical tensions
Personal Needs



Introversion/extroversion
Intimacy & Closeness
Self-verification
Self-Disclosure and Intimacy
Breadth of SD
Nonintimate
topic areas
Depth
of
SD
Stranger
Acquaintance
Close friend
Intimate
topic areas
Motivations to self-disclose
Need for release (Catharsis)
Need to be open
Expected outcome (strategic use)


For self
For other/relationship
Strategic Applications of SD
Relationship escalation/de-escalation
Obtain outcomes associated with certain
intimacy level


Gain assistance
Gain information
Can be manipulative
Trust and SD
Trust: belief that other acts in your
interest
3 perceptual components:



Predictability
Dependability
Faith
Trust is antecedent and outcome of SD
Deception
Misrepresentation or incomplete
representation
Potentially a means of relational
maintenance
Perception of social reality would suffer
if factual truth was always told
Turner et al. (1975)
information control and truthfulness in important
conversations
61.5% of statements were not fully true.

Left stuff out, put stuff in, etc
38.5% were fully true statement.
Many conversations in which no single statement
was true, but NO conversations completely true.
People defined honesty as “saying what is good
for the relationship
Lying in relationships
3 criteria for “acceptable lies”



Will the lie help both people?
Is this type of lie o.k. in the relationship?
Does partner lied to believe you have their
best intentions in mind?
Response to lie function of importance
of what was lied about
Deception Detection
People in general are rarely better than
50% accurate in detecting deception.

Most people are in the 20-30% range
2 reasons


The more intimate we are with someone,
the less we expect them to lie to us.
The better we know someone, the more
confident we are that we can “tell when
they are lying.”
Assumed cues to detect
deception
Cultural belief that there are 6 cues to
deception.






Eye contact (liars use less)
Smiling (liars = more)
Adapters (liars = more)
Speech Errors (liars = more)
Postural shifting (liars = more)
Longer messages (liars = more)
Actual Cues (deTurck & Miller,1990 )
Hand gestures (liars = more)
Adapters (liars = more)*
Within utterance pausing (liars = more)
Shorter messages (!)
Longer response latencies
Speech Errors (liars = more)*
deTurck & Miller found 80% accuracy
when using these cues.
Exercise
Discuss how the couple manages appropriate
openness
What thoughts and feelings are
hidden/revealed and how did that affect the
relationship?
What motivated the behavior of husband and
wife?
How effectively was the openness managed?
Conflict Management
Increasing intimacy raises potential for
conflict.
Conflict itself is not detrimental, what’s
important is how it is managed.
Constructive Conflict
(Notarius & Markman, 1993)
More likely with:
Listening talk
Positive problem talk
Less likely with:
Negative problem
talk
Negative solution
talk
Mindreading
Critical Talk
Four Apocalyptical Horsemen
Cascade of conflict behaviors
Criticism
Defensiveness
Contempt
Stonewalling
If not interrupted, severely damaging to
relationship
Criticism
complaint about other that involves
attack on personality and/or character
often done when upset
Defensiveness
rejection of other’s complaint or
criticism, including





denying responsibility & making excuses
rejecting mind-reading
reflect criticism & cross-complaining
repeating & whining
nonverbals that make similar points
Contempt
similar to criticism, but with the intent
to insult and psychologically abuse
other including




insult & name calling
hostile humor
name calling
contemptuous nonverbals
Stonewalling
withdrawal during intense conflict
being unable to communicate with
other
Productive Problem Solving
Behavioral/Cognitive Approach
Basis of most successful marriage
counseling
Requires commitment from both
partners
Differences & Vulnerabilities
Differences lead to emotional conflict
only where vulnerabilities are present
Vulnerabilities = Neediness
Common Vulnerabilities
Fear of Abandonment (affiliation)
Fear of Entrapment (autonomy)
Need for Esteem
Need for Validation
Need for Control
Vulnerabilities & Conflict
Vulnerabilities = defensiveness
No vulnerabilities = no emotional
conflict
Colliding vulnerabilities:


create greater conflict
reduce ability to be empathetic
Change and Acceptance
Change: an actor performs a
provocative behavior less frequently or
less intensely
Acceptance: a receiver reacts less
negatively to the provocative behavior
Acceptance
tolerate unpleasant behavior
based on deeper understanding of
meaning of behavior (hopefully)
behavior seen in context
appreciate value and importance of
behavior in relationship (potentially)
Principles of Problem-Solving
A relationship conflict can be solved
through either change or acceptance
The best solutions to most problems
involve acceptance by one member and
change by the other
Limits to Acceptance
There are few universally unacceptable
behaviors: e. g. physical & sexual abuse
Persons must decide for themselves
what is unacceptable
Advice: keep that list short
Potential Costs of Conflict
Introduce negative affect into
relationship
Injure image of self, other, and/or
relationship
Decrease trust & intimacy
Undermine interdependence
Potential Benefits of Conflict
Provide greater understanding of self,
other and/or relationship
Learn ways to cope with future conflict
Increase trust & intimacy
Increase interdependence
Maintaining Relationships
Through Dialogue:
Commitment & Intimacy
CHAPTER 9
Communicating Intimacy Verbally
Commitment
Personal Idioms
Compliments & Gifts
Comforting
Influence
Dimensions of Commitment
Perceptions of rewarding future
Identification with relationship
Perceived alternatives
Exerting effort for relationship
Investment
Being responsible for relationship
Communicating Commitment
To Other:

Affection, Support, Respect & Create
positive atmosphere.
To Relationship:

Integrity, Companionship, Create
relationship future, Work on relationship &
Express commitment.
Personal Idioms
Expressions of affection
Teasing insults
Partner nicknames
Other nicknames
Requests & routines
Confrontations
Sexual invitations
Sexual references
Compliments & Gifts
Need to be offered sincerely
Need to be valued by receiver
Should only rarely also benefit giver
Comforting
Aims to lessen other’ s
distress/discomfort
Validates other’s feelings/response
Shows communicator’s empathy
Do not diminish/discount other’s
experience/feeling
Influence (persuasion)
Effect change in partner to benefit:

Self, other, relationship
Influence always face threatening


Positive: to be liked
Negative: to be autonomous
Behavior chosen based on:


Effectiveness
Politeness (concern for face)
NVC and Intimacy
Emotions are communicated thru NVC,
including feelings about other and
relationship
Important emotions difficult to verbalize
NVC of emotions seen more authentic
If verbal and nonverbal messages
unrelated or in conflict, most trust NVC
Sex in Interpersonal Relationships
Almost all people (>98%) will have sex
at some point
80% boys & 66% girls have sex before
graduating high school
16% men & 20% women have no
premarital sex
Sex in Romantic Relationships
Sex is important aspect of intimacy
85% of students report the person they
sexually desire is a person they also love
Most sex is conducted in context of romantic
relationship
There is sex without romance, however


One-night stands
Friends with benefits
Sex is a source of conflict in relationships
Sexual Attitudes
Procreational

Sex to have offspring
Relational

Sex as expression of love & intimacy
Recreational

Sex as fun, excitement & pleasure
Sexual Communication with
Partners
Is it important to talk about sex in a
relationship?
If yes, when do you have this
conversation?
What things do you discuss?
What are some barriers to having this
conversation?
What is the outcome of sexual
communication?
Communicating Sexual Desires
Men expected to initiate
Women are gatekeepers
In established relationships, gender
roles are less rigid
Expressing sexual desire = high risk


Chance of rebuff/disappointment
Sexual desire is “bad;” loss of face; guilt
Establishing Sex Talk
Talk about sex in nonromantic setting
Express desires openly without pressure
Be accepting of other’s desires
Be honest & firm about boundaries
Agree on rules & expectations
Factors predicting sex talk and condom use in
early sexual relationships
Gender & Experience
Asserting self
Parents’ conflict
Mother’s communication
Sexual Coercion
Using force (including verbal & alcohol)
to get other to be sexual
Around 50% of college women & 26%
of college men are coerced at some
point
95% of women & 63% of men engaged
in unwanted sexual behavior in college
Avoiding Coercion
Being coerced:



Be explicit in communicating, verbalize
Be congruent in verbal & nonverbal comm
Avoid drinking & drugs
Coercing:



Obtain verbal agreement
No guilt tripping or pressuring
No verbal aggression
Sexual Communication Exercise
Break up into groups of 4-6 people
Discuss the following scenarios and then pair up and
role play each discussion
We will discuss as a class after you are finished
SCENERIO #1

Person A wants to engage in a sexual act. Person B wants to
decline the offer.
SCENERIO #2

You want to request that your partner uses protection (if
your partner is male request condom use; if your partner is
female request other contraceptive method)
Sexual Education in Family & School
Is it appropriate for parents to discuss sex
with their children?

If so what topics?
Is it appropriate to have comprehensive
sex education in school?
At what age should sexual education
begin?
Do you think formal and/or familial sexual
education is necessary?
How do you think parent-child sex
communication affects children?
Family as Source of Sexual Education
Mothers are primary sex educators in family
Parents are not talking to kids about sex
Parental messages are not clear
If parents don’t talk, will go to friends
If parents talk, twice as likely to go parents
If discussions were comfortable, informative
and valuable, adolescents were four times
more likely to use parents (Warren & Neer,
1986).
Topics of parent-child sex talk
Miller et al (1998)


3 most talked about topics
3 least talked about topics
Why do you think this is?
Mothers communication in sex talk
Rosenthal, Feldman & Edwards (1998)





Avoidant Communicators
Reactive Communicators
Opportunistic Communicator
Child-Initiated Communicators
Mutually Interactive Communicators
Mothers motivation for sex talk
Rosenthal, Feldman & Edwards (1998)
10 reasons given for not talking to kids about sex
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.
Uncomfortable
Didn’t know how to proceed
Sex education in school would take care of it
Kids not willing to talk
Kids not ready
Kids need privacy
Doubt ability to communicate openly
Worried about kids response – don’t want to lose them
Too late for kids to benefit
Kids already are knowledgeable
Parents’ nonverbal communication
effects on adolescents
Joffe & Frana-Koh (2001)

Nonverbal sexual communication, current sexual
behaviors and sexual guilt
 ↑ Parental nonverbal= ↓ age of first sexual activity
 ↑ Parental nonverbal = ↓ sexual partners
 ↑ Parental nonverbal = ↓ sexual guilt
Would you say nonverbal sexual
communication has a positive, negative or
neutral effect on adolescents?
Effects of parental communication on
adolescent sexual behavior
Results inconsistent & contradictory (Fisher, 1993)
Negative



Calhoun & Friel (2001)
Fisher (1989)
(Leighton et al., 1993)
No Effect



Gyung (2004)
Moore et al. (1986)
Hanson et al. (1987
Positive



Dilorio et al.(1999)
Holtzman & Rubinson (1995)
Furstenberg, Moore and Peterson (1985)
Comprehensive Sex Ed in School
Teachers feel students aren’t receiving
enough info & not early enough


Darroch et al. (2000)
Wilson (2000)
Most often: abstinence & responsibility
80-90% of Americans favored
contraceptive & disease prevention
information with abstinence education
Timing of Sex-Ed
Teachers’ opinions in 1988 & 1999


Should be taught by 12th grade (98%)
Should be taught by 7th grade (78-98%)
Miller et al (1998)

Timing & condom use
Communication and the
Process of Disengagement
Chapter 10
Overview
Stages of coming apart





Differentiating
Circumscribing
Stagnating
Avoiding
Terminating
This chapter focuses on individuals
terminating close relationships
Moving Apart
De-escalation inherent in relationships
Part of Intimacy-Autonomy Dialectic
Breaking up: Autonomy dominant
Processes involved:



Re-establish autonomous identity
Re-establish psychological interdependence
Re-establish behavioral interdependence
Reasons (Safran, 1979)
Breakdown in
communication
Loss of shared
goals/interests
Sexual
incompatibility
Infidelity
Excitement/fun gone
from relationship
Money
Conflicts about
children
Alcohol/drug abuse
Women’s equality
In-laws
More recent studies
Lack of effective communication cited
as leading to termination
Communication of distressed couples




More sarcasm
More negative feelings reciprocated
More negative interpretations of others’
behavior
More problem escalation
Relational Causes
Dissatisfaction w/ partner

Reward-Cost ratio not as expected
Disillusionment w/ relationship

Purpose of relationship changed (no longer
needed/desired)
Difficulties with individual characteristics

Other’s personality or behaviors costly
External Causes
Networks

Individual or joint networks interfere
Cultural Incompatibilities

Religion, education, race
Situational circumstances

Relocation, unemployment
Dating v. Marital relationships
Dating:
Incompatibility
Interest in someone
else
Living too far apart
Desire to be
independent
Marital:
Incompatibility
Infidelity
Alcohol/drug use
Not meeting family
obligations
Financial problems
Responses to Dissatisfaction
Two Dimensions


Constructive-Destructive
Active-Passive
Determined by Commitment


O > CLalt
Investment
EVLN Model (Rusbult)
active
Exit
VOICE
passive
NEGLECT
LOYALTY
destructive
constructive
Initiating breakups
The least involved partner is not always
the one who initiates the breakup
Women are more likely to initiate


More aware of relational problems
More direct in expression of relational
needs
Reasons given by heterosexual couple
are also cited by homosexual couples
After the Breakup
Feel relief/feel regret/feel depressed


More distress felt with more intimate rels.
Less distress if support is available
Seek company of others / isolate self
from others
Men tend to have a more difficult time
recovering from the breakup

Most likely to be friends if the man initiated
Manner of dissolution (Davis)
Passing Away – 3 crucial reasons



New intimate enters the relationship
Interaction Distance
Psychological & Physical Growth
Sudden Death





Lost feelings but acted roles in public
Non-mutual termination
Differing expectations / Ultimatums
Extenuating Circumstances
Violation of relational rules/norms
4 Phases of dissolution (Duck)
Intra-psychic

Personal assessment of relationship
Dyadic

Discussion of problems w/ partner
Social

Inform networks of breakup
Grave-dressing


Getting over the relationship
Create own versions of “The Story”
Breakup Strategies (Cody)
Positive Tone
Negative Identity Management
Justification
Behavioral De-escalation
De-escalation
Intimacy related to more justification,
positive tone, and de-escalation
Breakup Strategies (Cody)
If breakup thought to be partner’s fault:

More justification, avoided positive tone
and de-escalation
If partner won’t compromise:

More justification & de-escalation, less
positive tone
Reason was constraint or lack of
freedom

Neg. ID mgmt, justification, de-escalation,
positive tone used.
The Role of Networks
(Banks, Altendorf, Green, & Cody, 1987)
Found that network quality influenced
decision of how to break up.
High network overlap = More positive
tone, justification, and de-escalation

Face management concerns increase
consideration for partner’s feelings and
personal accountability
Communicating Distance
Physically

Avoidance, changing schedule around
Emotional distance

Sharing less with partner,
Verbal

Shorter or nonspecific messages
Nonverbal

Less eye contact, less touching, cold vocal
tone
Disassociation
Increased concern for self and a
decrease in concern for partner.




More time spent talking about own
interests
More time spent on individual activities
away from the relationship
Emphasize differences
Communication becomes less intimate
The Dialogue of Distance and
De-escalation
CHAPTER 11
Insights into Failed Communication
We do not always communicate perfectly- but
should try
Others will not always communicate perfectlybut we should help them
Responsibility for communication failure is
shared
Try to minimize use of destructive comm.
We should learn from failures!
5 Destructive Communication Patterns
Helpful-Critical
Active-Passive
Aggressive-Evasive
Dominating-Submissive
Certain-Provisional
Helpful-Critical Patterns
Both are power moves
Both threaten negative face
Active-Passive Patterns
The Active Pattern
•
threatens negative face
The Passive Pattern
•
threatens positive face
Aggressive-Evasive Patterns
Five steps of hassling:
1.)
2.)
3.)
4.)
5.)
repartee
cliché
name-calling
provocation
physiological degeneration
Aggressive-Evasive Patterns
4 general methods of evasiveness
1.) changing the focus of responsibility
2.) changing the direction of conversation
3.) changing the level of conversation
4.) sending incongruous messages
Dominating-Submissive
Patterns
Dominating Pattern
1.)
2.)
3.)
4.)
nullification
isolation
defamation
expulsion
Submissive Pattern
• Exaggeration of dependency and selfdeprecating remarks
Certain-Provisional Patterns
Certain Pattern
• Know-it-all style
• Self-fulfilling prophecy
Provisional Pattern
• Constant uncertainty and qualification
Final Words
The patterns represent extremes and can lead to
unproductive communication and relationships if
applied often.
The patterns are not inherently and consistently
“bad;” they can be the best strategies in
particular situations.
The responsibility for interpersonal destruction
rests with everyone involved.
We need to minimize the usage of any
communication strategy that consistently fails to
achieve the desired results.
Evaluating and Developing
Effective Communication in
Relationships
Chapter 12
Relativity of Communication
Different criteria for effective
communication are established by:



Society
Relationships
Individuals
When is success evaluated?
Timing of evaluation can also affect
judgments.




What is the specific situation or
circumstances?
Stage of the relationship under
consideration
Life stage of the communicator
Time in history
What is evaluated?
What was the goal of the
communication?
Are there multiple and/or contradicting
goals?
Are there ethical/moral dimensions to
be considered?
Are the goals of the other person
important for success?
Other factors in evaluation
Quantity/quality of responses

Eye contact, expressions of support
Size & diversity of repertoire

Does the communicator employ multiple
strategies?
Diagnosis vs. Implementation

Is the communicator able to both analyze
the situation & carry out the necessary
behaviors?
Becoming an effective
communicator
Knowledge
Experiences
Motivation
Attitudes
Effective Communication
“Bottom Line”
Be both flexible & stubborn
Talk openly about feelings, attitudes &
opinions
Respond to partner in ways that show
respect, value, and caring
Attend to the important things
Work at the relationship, but also have
fun
Effective Communication Criteria
Information exchange


Fidelity
Efficiency
Interpersonal Influence

Effectiveness
Meaning, social reality, identity

Creating positive identities and
relationships
Small Group Decision Making
Faults in Decision-Making
Improper Assessment of Situation
Inappropriate Goals and/or Objectives
Improper Assessment of Consequences
Flawed Information Base
Faulty Reasoning
The Decision-Making Process
Identify
Alternatives
Problem
to solve
Assessment
of Situation
Assessment of
Consequences
Identify
Objectives
Information Base
Choice
Scoring
Items
My
ranking
official
ranking
My
score
matches
12
- 15
3
food
rope
2
14
-4
-6
2
8
silk
8
-8
0
score
13
Motives in Decision-Making
Instrumental Needs

find best solution in given situation
Interpersonal Needs




Affection: to be liked
Inclusion: to belong
Control: to be autonomous
Esteem: to be respected
Informational Influence
Influence to accept information from
another about reality
Motivated by instrumental needs
Normative Influence
Influence to conform with the positive
expectations of others
Motivated by interpersonal needs
Determinants of Influence
Leadership (authoritative/participatory)
Decision Rule (unanimous / majority
rule)
Issue type (judgmental/intellective)
Leadership Behavior in Group
Decision Making
Socio-Emotional
Being Friendly
Dramatizing
Agreeing
Disagreeing
Showing Tensions
Being Unfriendly
Task-Oriented
Giving Suggestions
Giving Opinions
Giving Information
Asking for
Information
Asking for Opinions
Asking for
Suggestions
Group Socialization
Passage through group depends on 2
processes

Evaluation: balance of rewards & costs
 More favorable the balance, more favorable the
evaluation

Commitment: enduring adherence of the
relationship between the individual & group
 Expectation that you will remain in the group
Individuals & group evaluate each other
Commitment to Group
The more positively the indiv. evaluates
the group, the higher commitment to
group
Better group’s eval. of individual, more
effort to recruit/maintain member
Commitment associated with:




Seniority
Alternatives
Member’s culture
Time/Investment
5 phases
(Moreland & Levine, 1982)
Investigation
Socialization
Maintenance
Resocialization
Remembrance
1st phase - Investigation
Cautious search for information


Reconnaissance: individual tries to figure
out group
Recruitment: group decides value of
individual to group
Entry: transition point in which the
potential member is accepted & wants
to join group.
2nd phase - Socialization
Prospective member becomes new
member.
Group expects member to accept their
culture.
Individual expect group to be flexible
enough to suit his/her needs.


Assimilation: indiv. accepts norms/values.
Accommodation: grp adapts to fit
newcomer’s needs.
Transition point
Acceptance
#2
-
New member becomes full member.
Role transition is affected in two ways.


Old-timers react negatively to newcomer.
Newcomer is too cautious, misinterprets old
timer’s actions.
Newcomers tend to group together in
presence of established group members.
rd
3
phase - Maintenance
Full membership
Commitment to group is high.
Socialization still occurs as others enter group.
Role negotiation

Group & group member negotiate the role s/he will
perform.
Many groups remain here
Divergence: transition point in which group and
individual member cannot successfully negotiate
roles.
4th phase - Resocialization
Full member becomes a marginal member
Commitment decreases
Withdraw from group b/c individual needs
not met.



If differences resolved, marginal member may
become full member again
If not, indiv. evaluates decision to remain in
group, may choose to exit group
Exit is a transition point in which a marginal
member becomes an ex-member of the group
5th phase - Remembrance
Group and individual part
Remaining group members review shared
experiences
Former member tries to make sense of
departure from the group
If there is not a mutual understanding of
why the member left, old-timers may have
high hostility toward former member
Problems in Cross-Cultural
Communication
Two types of Problems
1. Differences in Behaviors
1.
2.
Language
Rituals and ritualized behaviors
2. Differences in Assigning Meaning
1.
2.
Assumptions about the World in general
Assumptions about Human Relationships
Cross Cultural Communication
Three Dimensions of Cultures
High Context – Low Context
Individualism – Collectivism
Power Distance
High Context
Meaning in Context
Meaning Implied
Requires Shared
Assumptions
Example: Directness
is impolite
Low Context
Meaning in Message
Meaning Expressed
No Shared
Assumptions
required
Example:
Indirectness is
unclear
Individualism
Independent Self
Goal of Self
Actualization
Value Individual
Achievement
Individualistic Ethic
Collectivism
Interdependent Self
Goal of Harmony
and Fitting In
Value Group
Achievement
Collectivist Ethic
High Power Distance
Low Power Distance
Value Hierarchy
Status Conscious
Titles Important
Formal Address
Value Equality
Egalitarian
Titles Unimportant
Informal Address
Interdependence of Cultural
Dimensions
Context = outcome variable
Individualism/Collectivism & Power =
determinant variables
Collectivism  High Context
Power Distance  High Context
Uncertainty/Anxiety
Management Theory
(Gudykunst)
Application of Uncertainty Reduction
Theory to Cross-Cultural communication
Uncertainty leads to Anxiety, but the
relationship is mediated by many
factors
Anxiety is motivation for mindfulness
Medium levels of anxiety are associated
with competent communication
Factors determining
Uncertainty and Anxiety
Motivational

Personal & interpersonal needs, self-concept
Knowledge

Expectations, shared networks, cultural
variability
Skill

Empathy, ambiguity tolerance, mental &
behavioral adaptability
Four Types of Communication
Performance
Unconscious Incompetence

low anxiety
Conscious Incompetence

high anxiety
Conscious Competence

medium anxiety
Unconscious Competence

low anxiety
Face Concerns
Face: “the projected image of self in a
relational situation
Determined by:


Face Concern: whose face is protected in
an interaction
Face Need: positive (inclusion) or negative
(autonomy)
Face Strategies
Face Owner
Self
Other
Assertion
Giving
Neg. Restoration
Saving
Pos.
Face Concern