What Is Seen, When I speak By Kathy Hernandez Growing up with Language • Mi primer language que yo aprendi era el espanol. This translated into English means my first language that I learned was Spanish. Language is such an important concept in our modern culture, where the diversity of the ethnic races is not only present through the customs, tradition and foods but language as well. Just like the traditions and customs that we were raised by, we grew up with the language of our parents as a means of being accepted by one another and to fit in knowing from where our ancestry comes from. Not only is the way we communicate with the people a basic need but it helps to distinguish their background in order to have an idea as to who they are. This essay will show how language translates into identity in a diverse cultural society for and individual. • It is not simple to understand the origins of why we speak in different cadence, accents, dialects and languages despite knowing that regions plays a strong influence for such differences. Yet the object of avoiding such complexity is to accept the various notions of language itself as part of a cultural identity that separates one another with its uniqueness and not just the verbal language but the written language as well. For example in Mother Tongue by Amy Tan and If Black Isn’t a Language, Then Tell me, What Is? By James Baldwin and Why and When We Speak Spanish in Public and “FOBs” vs. “Twinkies”: The New Discrimination is Intraracial by Grace Hsiang all have in common that they come from different cultural identities and have all written about their experiences of language that has marked them as different among the normal. My Origins • My first language was in fact Spanish. From kinder garden all the way into second grade I was in bilingual classes so I learned my ABC’s in both the English alphabet and Spanish alphabet. My mother, father and my grandparents spoke only Spanish while my aunts and uncles spoke Spanglish. Growing up it was normal for me to speak Spanglish, I never noticed that what I spoke clearly labeled me as Mexican descent, Latina, but it was who I was because that was my culture. Now to this day I understand that my identity has accumulated to accept my Mexican heritage of my parents but as well to accept that I am an American citizen. So I speak in Spanish and English and read in Spanish and English and write in Spanish and English. • In Amy Tan’s Mother Tongue she is from Chinese immigrant parents. She also grew up in the bilingual world, something that I can relate to. In her essay she speaks about her mother’s broken English and there is a specific encounter described between her mother and her stockbroker. Tan stood in to pretend to be her mother and would rephrase what her mother was saying to her to sound more sophisticated. Her mother would say “why he don’t send me check, already two weeks late. So mad he lie to me, losing me money” and Tan would rephrase “yes, I’m getting rather concerned. You had agreed to send the check two weeks ago, but it hasn’t arrived” (Tan pg. 172). Along with that example Tan’s mother would also have her call to ask for information because Tan’s English was not as limited as her mothers. In her essay Tan discusses how the way we speak makes a difference despite speaking the same language. Broken English, as she referred to her mother English, issues and impacts whether a person has an education and sophistication that comes from expanding one’s vocabulary and pronunciation of words. When speaking through a telephone there is an image that comes to mind with the way a person speaks and pronounces the words. Tan understood at an early age that proper rephrasing of her mothers words would be more beneficial to creating the image of a person of importance. Translating Translations • Amy Tan and I share the same experiences. Just recently my mother noticed a small lump on her breast and I proceed to schedule her appointment for a mammogram. I unfortunately was not able to attend the appointment with her but she went with my father who has enough English to get by but limited in his vocabulary of words. My parents were told that they would expect the results within a week however after two months of waiting for the test results of the mammogram I called the office and first began with “hello, I am calling on behalf of my mother to ask about results of her mammogram that was scheduled to be received a week after her appointment. I am concerned, we have not received the results and it has been almost a month”. With that I was assured by the nurse that she was going to make sure that the results were to be sent home immediately and sure enough the results of the mammogram came in the mail within the next week. Needless to say language can have the desired affect to create the identity that can make a difference. • Despite having been able to receive the results of the mammogram there was still the issue that my father was the only one who understood English during the appointment. He was to be translating for my mother and converse with the doctor with his limited vocabulary of English. This example follows what James Baldwin talks about in his essay If Black English Isn’t a Language, Then Tell Me, What Is by James Baldwin. He states that “language, incontestably, reveals the speaker. Language, also, far dubiously, is meant to define the other- and, in this case, the other is refusing to be defined by a language that has never been able to recognize him” (Baldwin pg. 159). My father was defined by his broken English which lead to identify with as uneducated despite unintentional mistakes. My Mother My Father My words My Choice • Language can be a good thing to be marked by because it does give an identity and it gives a person something to associate with but it can also be a bad thing because you become marked and it is then difficult to not be associated with that identity that has been made a label. • Many people who become labeled by their language do not always fit in into their identity because despite being unique there is a stereotype that many do not like to be labeled by. To be labeled by someone else with a glance and therefore determine that their language must be based on their appearance is assuming that language is everything that is needed to recognize who a person is. In Why and When We Speak Spanish in Public by Myriam Marquez in Marquez essay “you know what’s rude? When there are two or more people who are bilingual and another person who speaks only English and the bilingual folks all of a sudden start to speaking in Spanish, which effectively leaves out the English-only speaker” (Marquez pg. 497) • I agree with Marquez when she says “For me and most bilingual people I know, it’s a matter of respect for our parents and comfort in our cultural roots” (Marquez pg. 496). When I am with my family no one questions why we speak Spanish, we just do. On special holidays like on Easter we gather as a family and we cook traditional food that is cooked during lent and when we talk, we talk in Spanish. It would be disrespectful if we were speaking in English when we can all speak the same language as my grandparents and parents. It is an unspoken custom that when I am with my family I speak Spanish, when I am with my friends I speak English. It makes it easier to fit in with both cultures Who do I Identify as? • In Baldwin’s essay he says that “The price for this is the acceptance and achievement, of one’s temporal identity.” (Baldwin pg. 159). At one point I became what my cousins would called “white washed” when I would say English words with a Mexican accent because I would forget Spanish words while I was speaking in Spanish so I would try to make English words sound like they were Spanish words. I did not intentionally identify myself as white washed because I had no idea that what I was doing was considered white washed because it was just a normal thing for me. I didn’t let their words however, be the whole reason for making up who I am because I speak both Spanish and English but I did let it be the reason to find a balance between both languages • My cousins behanviour follows the example in “FOBs” vs. “Twinkies”: The new Discrimination Is Intraracial by Grace Hsiang because the discrimination was within my own ethnic group and not outside of my own. In Hsiang’s essay she was surprised to see that most of the students were “discriminated against and marginalized by members of their ethnic group” because it was assumed that the people within the same ethnic group share the same identity. However, as she discovered it was clear that the people of the same ethnic group have different wording in the same language which serves to point out the difference that make discrimination within the same ethnic group. Words like “Twinkies” and “white washed are the type of language that is used to label or marker someone Who I have become Conclusion • Overall my experiences with language have allowed me to choose who I want to be identified as. I am Latina who has Mexican heritage and is an American, meaning that I can both communicate in Spanish and English. I accept that there will sometimes be times when I am labeled as just Latina because I can talk fluent Spanish but I also embrace the times when I can articulate powerful words and speak to two different audiences. • Language plays an important role in discovering who you are because what you say matters. As time goes by the accumulation of language reflects the transition of growing up. I have learned that as I grow into my cultural identity I also grow into my self aware identity where it makes possible for me to fit in by adapting to the cultures around me. Whatever I say makes up another part of me. Just like Amy Tan I learned that speaking to be herd matters on how you present your message to your audience, and despite how I unintentionally talk with my ethnicity it will still matter like how Grace Hhsiang. And when I speak with my relatives I speak Spanish out of respect for those who are closets to me because they know who the real me is and I agree with Baldwin that language is identity but the individual choose the identity for the sake of his/her self • As I have said language makes you who you are and as a final exposure to who I am as person I conclude with the six words that make up where I am at this point. Six- Word Memoir • Lost but in the right path Works Cited • Eschhnolz Paul, Alfred Rosa, and Virginia, eds. Language Awareness: Reading for College Writers. New York: Bedford/ St. Martin’s, 2013. Print • Baldwin, James. “If Black Isn’t a Language, Then Tell Me, What is?” Eschholz, Rosa, and Clark. 158-161. Print. • Hsiang, Grace. “’FOBs’ vs. ‘Twinkies’: The new Discrimination Is Intracracial” Eschholz, Rosa, and Clark. 342-344. Print • Marquez, Myriam. “Why and When We Speak Spanish inn Public” Eschholz, Rosa, and Clark. 496-497. Print. • Tan, Amy. “Mother Tongue” Eschholz, Rosa, and Clark. 170-175. Print.