Colossians 3: 18 - 21
This is a passage that speaks to us about
God's structure for society, the family, and
then goes on to talk about the way the
needs of each member of the family are to
be met!
Look with me at verse 18...
"Wives, submit to your own husbands, as is
fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your
wives and do not be bitter toward them.
Children, obey your parents in all things, for
this is well pleasing to the Lord. Fathers, do
not provoke your children, lest they become
discouraged."
Four Things:
I. Wives Submit
Now I can hear the groans already, but
remember ladies, the Bible also says that
the commands of the Lord are not
burdensome!
In other words, they are designed to
alleviate stress, not to add to it!
And when understood and applied the way
He intended, that's what they do! They
alleviate our burdens!
So let's look at this one for a few minutes!
In Ephesians 5:22 – 24 the scriptures say
"Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to
the Lord. (not to men in general) For the
husband is head of the wife, as also Christ
is head of the church; and He is the Savior
of the body. Therefore, just as the church is
subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their
own husbands in everything."
The bottom line is that there is to be order
in a Christian home!
And that order begins with a man
submitting Himself to the Lordship of Jesus
Christ, and the family following his example
and leadership!
Should the wife submit to ungodly,
unbiblical demands? NO!
Neither should she submit to physical
abuse!
If he hits you, leave him, he broke his
covenant! You don't have a Father in
Heaven who requires you to stay with a
man who slaps you around!
But ladies, you are wise to show your
husband that you respect his role and
appreciate his leadership in the home.
The Bible is clear that God's order for the
family is such that responsibility for
leadership lies squarely upon the shoulders
of the husband!
It isn't a position of privilege, but of duty!
Respect him! And pray for him to have
wisdom from God to lead like Christ!
II. Husbands Love!
The standard of conduct is Jesus! Going
back to Eph 5, verse 25 says:
"Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ
also loved the church and gave Himself for
her, that He might sanctify and cleanse her
with the washing of water by the word, that
He might present her to Himself a glorious
church, not having spot or wrinkle or any
such thing, but that she should be holy and
without blemish. So husbands ought to love
their own wives as their own bodies; he
who loves his wife loves himself. For no
one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes
and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the
church. For we are members of His body, of
His flesh and of His bones. “For this reason
a man shall leave his father and mother and
be joined to his wife, and the two shall
become one flesh.” This is a great mystery,
but I speak concerning Christ and the
church. Nevertheless let each one of you in
particular so love his own wife as himself,
and let the wife see that she respects her
husband."
When the husband has sincerely made it
his priority to love his wife in the same
manner as Christ does the church, the wife
and children have no trouble respecting and
submitting to the husband's leadership!
But very few men even attempt to live this
out in practice!
We'd rather demand submission than die to
our flesh!
If you have to demand it that's a clear
indication that you aren't leading like Jesus!
One thing is for sure, if you will listen to her
heart and not just react against her words,
your wife will communicate her needs to
you!
III. Children Obey
Pretty cut and dry! Dependent children are
to obey their parents!
But again the duty falls to us as dads to
train our children in this!
We need to take seriously the responsibility
to teach & disciple our kids!
It isn't the duty of the school teacher! It's
your duty!
It isn't the duty of the church, it's your duty!
And this is one of those things which is too
important to mindlessly delegate!
Stay on top of what they are learning!
IV. Don't Provoke
Train them to be teachable, don't provoke
rebellion by being unreasonable or harsh!
I have a friend who regularly talks about his
kids' faults in front of them!
It's discouraging!
They need to know that you are always
available, and always FOR them!
They won't believe that if what they hear is
ridicule!
They need you to train into them a love for
learning, a commitment to Truth, and the
character to persevere!
How? By demonstrating those things
yourself!
And by encouraging their successes! Look
for things they've done well!
And by the way, focus on character traits,
not just appearance or achievements!
In other words, compliment their diligence
and hard work, not just their good grades!
Affirm the effort they put into practice, not
just how well they performed!
And if they are struggling, work to help
them, don't just sit back and criticize!
Discipline them firmly and consistently, and
then praise them profusely when they give
it their best efforts!
If all they ever hear is disappointment, they
will give up!
But if they hear admiration and adoration,
they will do everything they can to never
disappoint you!
Listen, if we will make it our mission to
follow Christ in the power of the Holy Spirit,
husbands will be encouraged by the
respect of their wives, wives will be built up
by the LOVE of their husbands, children will
be trained and taught to live Godly lives,
and the church of Jesus Christ will be the
shining city on a hill that He intended we
should be!
Pray
How might a leader lead in such a way that people find it easy to submit?
What does that say to her when you treat a lady like "one of the guys"
Read Proverbs 15:1...How can this help in respect to marriage?
How might parents reading to their kids the Scriptures help to change families?
Churches? Communities?
What are some things you do to alleviate stress in your life?
Give an example of a 'U-turn' that you have in your life, which caused stress in
the short term, but has reduced stress in the long term?
Why is a wifely veto disrespectful of the husband’s role?
Give an example of how you have supported your husband.
How do you give yourself to your wife?
What can you do to put her needs over yours?
Take a brother in your ligament group and commit to hold each other
accountable for the next month, that you will focus on your wives need. Call, text
and email each other at least twice a week to see how you're doing.
What can you do this week to birth greater harmony in your home?
God has entrusted your kids to you. What are you doing to be worthy of this
trust?
Give an example of how you have helped or can help your kids to love to learn?
How can you teach your kids that God is your ultimate instructor?
What do you do or will you do to make sure that your kids know that you are for
them?
Which actions will you put in place, to follow God's design for your house and
family?
What will you begin to do that will enable you to work on your family at home?