Being a Man
Sought to be leaders, masculinity is the complete opposite of what Paul Theroux
wrote in his article “Being a Man”. Being a man is nothing like what Paul says. Obviously
being shunned as a child by his peers he makes several ill ligament arguments, Such as his
definition of be a man, as well as how manliness belittles women. He also bad mouths sports,
and says that they take away from being a gentleman and teach you to be a poor loser. He
then continues on to talk about how art is non-competitive and how male writers are frowned
down on unless they write about manly subjects like hunting, or are in journalism.
In the second paragraph of Paul’s article he refers to what the phrase “Be a man!”
means to him. He says “it strikes me as insulting and abusive. It means: be stupid, be
unfeeling, obedient, soldierly and stop thinking.” This quote bugs me for several reasons. To
start with as taught by my parents and other role models be a man means be a gentlemen, it
means to step up to the plate and take care of business because if you don’t you’re going to
either regret not doing it or you are going to have to keep dealing with the same problem. I
understand that occasionally be am man is said in context to be tough, but in no way does it
mean be stupid, unfeeling, and stop thinking. In this paragraph he also says “how can one
think about men without considering the terrible ambition of manliness.” What is that
suppose to mean, men have to have ambitions or things won’t get done. I’m not saying that
women can’t live by themselves and on their own but most women like to have a man around
to take care of the stuff she doesn’t want to, such as yard work or house hold maintenance.
Should all men quit being manly and get facials, do our nails and take a long time to get
ready. In no way is the word manliness “emotionally damaging and socially harmful.” When
hearing the word manliness or manly I almost have to chuckle because there is such thing but
everyone’s perception of it is different.
“It is hard to imagine any concept of manliness that does not belittle women.” I find
this hard grasp, only because there are plenty of concepts that do not ridicule women.
Everyone has different opinions and someone might think that holding the door for a lady is
a nice gesture and others may think that is so called “belittling” because she can do it herself.
People can see belittling in many different ways so what may be something nice can also be
seen as an unnecessary favor. In the 5th paragraph Paul states “at an age when I wanted to
meet girls, let’s say the treacherous years of thirteen to sixteen, I was told to take up a sport,
get more fresh air, join the boy scouts, and I was urged not to read so much.” How do you
meet people if you’re sitting in your house reading? In order to meet girls you need to get
more fresh air and do something that will expose you to them. If all you do is read all the
time then it is hard to meet not just girls but anyone. Join a coed sport like track or cross
country and meet some people.
“Everyone is aware of how few in number are the athletes who behave like
gentlemen. Just as high school basketball teaches you to be a poor looser.” Participating in
sports is the best thing that could have ever happened to me. Because of high school athletics
I am now in college, I have had opportunities and experienced feelings that you could never
even think are real. It seems to me that most athletes have more class and respect for the
other teams than anyone who is not participating and are sitting in the stands. You rarely see
any players talking trash to the other team it is usually the crowd. You see and hear about
athlete getting in trouble but in perspective it is a very small percentage that doesn’t act like
they should. “Growing up I had thought of sports as wasteful and humiliating, and the idea of
manliness was a bore.” This is a personal opinion and some people don’t like sports but a
true team is only as good as its weakest link. There for there is no one that is going to single
you out because you make an error or miss a tackle or basket. Sports are one of the most
amazing things that could have ever happened to me; I have made more friends, met more
people, been more places, and had more fun than you could ever believe.
Everyone in the world likes to be recognized for their positive accomplishments and
the work that they have done, causing me to disagree with Theroux yet again. “Arts are
pursued by uncompetitive and essentially solitary people.” There is no doubt that most artist
are lonely people, but where does it say that art is not competitive, this includes writing as
well. If an artist paints a picture of a lake with a dock going out in to the water and a little
row boat tied to it he wants it to sell before the other guy with the same basic ideas picture
does. Writing is another form of so called art and is very competitive because there are a lot
of people who want to get published but cant because someone wrote about the same subject
and did a better job. Theroux says that men cannot write about what they want to, in order to
be socially accepted they have to write about something manly like bull fighting or arm
wrestling and elephant shooing. “For many years I found it impossible to admit to myself
that I wanted to be a writer.” America is a free country and you can be whatever you want. If
you’re not enough of an individual to admit to yourself what you actually want to do then
you’re probably too worried about what people think of you and are not creative enough to
be a writer anyway.
Being a man is seen differently by everyone. Theroux sees being a man as a disgrace.
I see bring a man as an opportunity to change the overall outlook of men in general. In this
article Theroux makes several ill ligament arguments such as, his definition of being a man,
and how manliness belittles women. He also says that sports are a disgrace and that they take
away from being a gentleman and teach people to be a poor losers. He continues on to talk
about how art is non-competitive and how male writers are shunned unless they are in
journalism and or write about manly subjects such as hunting.