Changing Attitudes toward Death
Attitudes and values regarding death affect the actual
experience of death
Cultural beliefs teach values
• Amish faith is not separated from daily living- it
directs events of life and death
• The elder is taken care of by family
• Death comes slowly as caregivers attend
• Services are simple, with a meal afterward to support
the survivors
• After Amish children were killed in a bizarre school
shooting, the community asked to be respected by
media, as they ministered to the survivors as well as
the family of the shooter
What are Amish beliefs regarding life and death and the
Spirit?
• The world is evil, but God has a plan that we must
trust- innocent children are in heaven
• Love one’s enemies means consoling the shooter’s
family in their bereavement
• Communal values insist that individuals not be
promoted, so media was ignored
• The community must help one another, & they did in
planning wakes & funerals.\
• They also demolished the building where the
shootings occurred and built a new school.
Attitude- manner of acting which represents a
feeling/opinion
• Body language, tone of voice are readable as
expressions of feelings
• We read these & act accordingly- so we all contribute
to our life experiences
• Our encounters with death shape our attitudes and
vice-versa- bidirectional
• Western beliefs about medicine have shifted our
acceptance of death
Death Anxiety
• Women are more anxious than men or more willing to
talk about it?
• Older people are less anxious
• Believers display less anxiety
• Measured by Death Anxiety Scale
Death-related Concerns
• Aversive attitudes: anxiety, denial, distancing,
withdrawal, fear
• Accepting attitudes: Day of the Dead
• Relate to: my own death, the dying process, what will
happen after death, feelings about dying persons, or
bereavement
• Common fears:
• a painful or undignified process of death surrounded by
strangers
• an unexpected death where they can’t conclude
unfinished business, or tell loved ones what they need
• concern about dispensation of worldly goods
Concerns about my own death
• If current life is unduly hard, death may seem like
sweet release
• Some don’t want to suffer the indignities of extended
medical care
• Others love life so much (or some others) that they
don’t want to leave, seeing death as loss
What will happen to me after death?
• Is there consciousness that lives on?
• Will there be judgment or punishment?
• Hope for a heavenly reward?
• Death as a bridge to another life?
• Will I see my loved ones again?
Death or bereavement of another
• What will their death mean to me?
• Can I handle it? Will I react in an embarrassing fashion?
• Can I handle the physical care- or live with making decisions
for nursing care?
• Will others know how relieved I am?
• Can I manage life without this person?
How will my death affect others?
• Depending on how empathic I am, I may be burdened
knowing how my illness and death will impact those I love
• I may feel a burden to keep my family together and fear what
will happen to family when I’m gone
• This may be alleviated by financial planning, etc.
• Impending death may motivate me to finish some important
project or see through a family issue
Death-related attitudes need not be negative- there is a
range of attitude
• Humans have influence over their own attitudes, and
in turn over their death experience
• Grave marker from 1830:
• Remember me as you draw nigh,
As you are now, so once was I.
As I am now, so must you be,
Prepare for death and follow me.
Western attitudes coming from different historical periods
• Tame death
• Death is inevitable, familiar, simple (Amish)
• Death of the self
• We look forward to reward/punishment with a
final testing period- chant God’s name…
• Remote and imminent death
• Death is natural but dangerous
• Death of the other
• Survivors must deal with loss/ emotionality
• The dying person must wait to be reunited with
loved ones
• Death denied (forbidden death)
• Death is indecent, so dying people must be shut
away
• The dying person may not even be told of their
imminent death
• Emotions are to be kept hidden
Puritans in 1600s New England
Reformist group from Church of England
Their beliefs:
Everything is part of divine purpose, but
humanity is in a downward spiral
No one is worthy of salvation or can earn God’s
grace, but God chooses a few for salvation
(Sinners in the Hands of an Angry God)
So the question for them was: Am I one of the
elect?
If you believed you were…you were surely notthat was pride, a big sin
So Puritanism meant never-ending uncertainly and fear of
death, compensated for by a belief that death was release
from the difficulties of life on Earth
They could pray for salvation, but they had no control
over it or security about it
So their beliefs left them overwhelmed by death anxiety:
1. We are all utterly depraved
2. God is omnipotent, just, and inscrutable
3. Hell holds unspeakable terrors for the lost, whoever
they may be…
Talk about a double/ triple bind they were in…
Because of the high infant mortality rate, Puritan parents
were told to keep their children at a distance, since the
children were likely to die, but to try to instill discipline
and spiritual awareness in them.
Puritan children were also told of their imminent deaths
and that they must live uprightly or they could even
influence their parents’ condemnation!
There was no guarantee to them that they would see their
parents after death, either.
So what were their death rituals like?
Absence of ceremony
Restraint of emotions
The body itself was meaningless
Burial should be swift, with little emotional expression
Later in the 17th century, however things changed as early
leaders died and civil war swept England- religious
toleration ensued
More English immigrated to America, diluting the culture
of the early settlers
Puritan funeral practices changedGloves were sent to people as invitations to the funeral
Bells were rung on the day of the funeral
Funeral procession took the coffin to the cemetery
Funeral meal after the service
Funeral rings given as remembrances
Prayer and eulogies were included in service
Gravestones were engraved with homilies