THE FAMILY
The family as a social system- considered the most basic source of socialization- children learning the beliefs,
values and behaviors acceptable to society. Many institutions contribute to this process, but the most powerful
source is the family. We learn these attitudes and behaviors through modeling the parents, siblings and other
family members. But being a system, any member can influence the whole.
Direct vs. Indirect Influences
1. Nuclear families- simplest form- mother, father, and first child.
2. Reciprocal influence- even a baby can influence the function of the whole system.
3. Direct effects- where any pair of family members affects and is affected by the other’s behavior.
Why goodness of fit is so important in positive development of infants. Mobile.
4. Indirect effects- more subtle influence of two people by the attitudes, behaviors of the third.
5. Coparenting- best circumstance for children- when parents mutually support each other and
function as a cooperating team. Not easy in functional families, because we all bring different
expectations to the mix from our own family background. Almost impossible in chaotic, unhappy
couples. The complexity of relationships increases geometrically as you add other siblings with their
unique temperaments and needs. There are also changes as the family ages and the needs of children
change with age.
6. Extended family- when the simple family begins living with or having other family members living
with them. This can aid financially strapped single mothers, but can also stress parents when their
values and child-rearing practices differ from grandparents. Certain cultures emphasize this more
than others.
Families as Embedded Systems- families are embedded in their culture, religion, education, SES, community
and are influenced by them.
The Changing Family as a response to a changing culture- what norms have changed in US culture in the
past 50 years?
1. More single adults- but 90% of adults will marry.
2. Postponement of marriage- average age of first marriage is 24F, 26M.
3. Fewer children- 12% of married women are childless, 1.8 children is the average per family.
4. Working moms- 63% of moms with children under age 6 are working. Even so, moms carry the
greatest responsibility for home.
5. Divorce- 1 million kids per year face their parents’ divorce. 50% of couples will divorce.
6. Single parent families- 60% of all kids will spend some time in a single parent home. 24% of kids
live with a single parent – either never married, or divorced. Father-headed homes are 17% of single
parent homes today.
7. Children in poverty- single parent homes have contributed to more kids in poverty- 54% of kids in
mother-headed families live in poverty (10% of children in two-parent homes.)
8. Remarriage- blended families- remarriage of parents with children- 25% of children will live in a
blended family. The typical family (original father, housewife mother & 2 kids) only makes up
12% of families.
Parental Socialization- most significant aspect of successful parenting is caregiver warmth/ sensitivity.
Dimensions of Parenting
1. Acceptance/responsiveness- supportiveness, affection, responsiveness to children’s needs.
2. Demandingness- control that parents need to exhibit with children. High control parents express clear
rules, expect children to follow them and impose consequences when they don’t. Low control parents are less
restrictive, make fewer demands, allow children lots of freedom to make decisions.
Patterns of Parenting- Baumrind
1. Authoritarian parenting- hi control, low acceptance, top-down parenting using love
withdrawal or power assertion to force compliance. Set inflexible standards and dominate
the child.
2. Authoritative parenting-controlling but affectionate and flexible, making reasonable and
responsive demands on children. Democratic family system that respects children’s needs
and input. It is such a successful model because they show caring concern in their
responsiveness and affection, standards that seem reasonable (realistic for the child’s age
and abilities) are more apt to be adhered to by the child, values are taught to be internalized
by the children and so they develop autonomy and a sense of personal responsibility for
choices made. Parents also give instructive feedback in order to help child fine-tune his
future behavior. Kids need love and limits – roots and wings.
3. Permissive parenting- accepting but little instruction, low expectations, few rules, low
supervision.
4. Uninvolved parenting- undemanding style but parents have either rejected their children or
are too overwhelmed with other problems they have no energy or motivation to devote to
children.
Effects on children of the 4 styles:
Authoritarian parenting-moodiness, unhappiness, irritable, poor social skills, little motivation.
Authoritative parenting-cheerful, socially alert and responsible, self-reliant, achieving, cooperative.
Long-term they show cognitive competencies, creativity, high achievement, and social skills, sociable, leaders.
Confident and generally not involved with drugs and acting out problems.
Permissive parenting-impulsive, aggressive, bossy, self-centered, lacking in self-control, low in
achievement and independence.
Uninvolved parenting-high in aggression, temper tantrums. Long-term effects- poor classroom
performance, conduct disorders, hostile, selfish, rebellious as adolescents. Lacking long-term goals, often
antisocial and delinquent, using substances, sexual acting-out, truant, criminal offenses. They didn’t learn caring
by being cared for.
Parent effects model-assumes that influences in families run one way, from parent to child.
Child effects model- assumes that children have a major influence on parents.
Authoritarian parents emphasize the don’ts. (And use heavy-handed, power assertive techniques) They
produce children who are less compliant and less internal in their control.
Authoritative parents emphasize the dos. They focus on children’s good behavior and deal with
noncompliance with patience and consistency. They produce children who are most self-controlled and
compliant and socially competent.
Transactional model-both parents and children influence each other. Difficult children can wear out patient
parents; troubled parents can stress easy children. Also other influences affect children’s outcomes, so parenting
is not the sole cause.
Social class differences in parenting-in general lower SES parents (compared to middle-class SES) stress
obedience and respect for authority, are more restrictive/ authoritarian, reason with children less, and show less
affection. They are more critical, punitive and intolerant of disobedience. It may be due to stress associated with
economic problems. This ripples through the marital relationship, causing depression, and sense of
incompetence in general. Then teens display emotional problems, such as failure in school, low self-esteem
poor peer relations, depression and hostility. This causes parents to back off of showing affection, and the cycle
intensifies.
Ethnic differences in parenting- cultural expectations for people also influences parenting style. Communal
societies (Hispanic, Asian, Native American) stress contact with extended family and respect for others, more
so than independence, competitiveness and individual goals. Asians may be more authoritarian, but their
children are high achieving and they respect the right of parents to extend such control.
No-nonsense parenting in African-American families- African American families, especially
mothers, expect obedience and often use coercive discipline. This seems to work, especially for single mothers,
who are trying to protect at-risk children.
Homelessness, chaos and Child developmentPoverty itself puts children at high risk for poor academic achievement, anxiety and depression, low
self-esteem and antisocial behaviors.
Family instability (changes in residence, multiple partners for a parent, many alternative living
situations, negative life events) It results in children showing more acting out (externalizing behaviors) and
anxiety, shyness (internalizing problems) especially for easy-going children.
Homelessness is seen in 750,000 children who live in shelters at some point, as well as on the streets.
They have more internalizing problems such as somatization (as a result of internalizing the shame of their
circumstances).
Adolescence- Renegotiating the Parent-child relationship to develop autonomy in the child- somewhat
more problematic for authoritarian families. Most successful when parents gradually relinquish control, while
enforcing reasonable rules.
Influence of Siblings
1. Sibling rivalry- competition, jealousy between siblings. The first child naturally resents the loss of
attention of mom when a new baby comes home. It’s easier if the first child had a secure attachment
and is assured of parents’ continued love and attention. Also if the older child is involved in care of
baby, there is a sense of having a special role.
2. Course of the sibling relationship- conflict is normal and declines with age. Older children
generally take the dominant role, with later sibs taking more compliant roles. Older ones also learn
more prosocial behaviors as they are expected to share and give in to the baby. It may contribute to
resilience in face of loss later. Conflict is reduced if parents monitor children’s play and refrain from
comparisons. Ignoring sibling problems leads to aggression and antisocial behavior later.
Adolescence reduces conflict as they are home less often. It may take into adulthood before the sibs
truly feel an appreciation for each other.
3. Positive effects of siblings
Emotional support, especially in an abusive or chaotic family.
Caretaking for younger sibs.
Teaching skills to sibs, formally or through modeling, especially social
competencies (negotiation and compromise, mature moral reasoning)
Only children-show high self-esteem, achievement motivation, are more obedient, more intellectually
competent than kids with sibs, have good relationships with peers.
Diversity of families
1. Adoptive families-children have more learning disabilities, emotional problems, conduct disorders,
delinquency than nonadopted peers. Even so they do better than children left in the foster system.
Open adoptions seem to help kids as they can have information about biological family and can
satisfy their curiosity about why they were given up.
2. Gay and Lesbian families- most have children due to earlier marriage, though some are due to
artificial insemination. No evidence that these children have higher rates of homosexual orientation
themselves. They show equal adjustment and motivation as children in heterosexual families.
3. Impacts of family conflict and divorce-not only the change in spouses affect children, but the
attendant loss economically, changes in residence, having new roles, loss of some of custodial
parent’s attention and energy, and later, another parent figure.
4.
a. Marital conflict effects-children are seriously affected by the growing conflict and even
violence they witness. Many parents use children as an excuse for conflict, leaving children
feeling guilty and responsible for the divorce.
b. Effects of divorce- crisis and reorganization- there may be a crisis period of a year or more
before and during the divorce when the custodial parent is so stressed s/he can’t respond
effectively to children. For the custodial mother, income drops sharply (50-75% less) and she
has many adjustments in meeting everyone’s needs. If this means moves and new schools,
everyone is stressed to the limit. (Custodial mothers often react with greater coerciveness,
noncustodial fathers often react with greater permissiveness) Kids often use these changes to
manipulate both parents, still not getting their emotional needs met. Other factors:
i. Children’s age- younger children show their distress more openly- with school
problems, regression, anxiety, but adolescents feel the same sense of responsibility
due to adolescent egocentrism- they often act out.
ii. Children’s temperament/ sex- more difficult children have a harder adjustment
since they often trigger more reactivity from the stressed parent. Impact of divorce
seems to be more intense for boys- girls seem to be back to normal after 2 years postdivorce (although they show more signs of covert stress- depression), boys often still
show overt signs of stress and problems with others. Boys seem to do better if they
live with fathers. Girls often show long-term problems in their relationships with
boys/men with promiscuity, poor self-worth in relationships.
c. Long-term reactions to divorce- academic difficulties, psychological distress throughout
adolescence, into adulthood, particularly in forming relationships with the opposite sex. They
also have higher risks of divorce in their own lives. Even so, they do better than children in
conflict-ridden 2-parent homes. Divorce and creation of a stable, predictable home may
benefit children in chaotic families. Stress declines for every one.
d. Factors that ease adjustment to divorce
i. adequate financial support so children’s life style doesn’t change drastically. Only
½ of fathers pay child support.
ii. Adequate parenting by custodial parent- outside support may help.
iii. Social/emotional support from the noncustodial parent- not using the children to
continue the battle of wills and control. Joint custody is one way of assuring that
both parents stay involved in child’s care. Not easy to negotiate between parents who
already can’t work out issues.
iv. Additional social support- Parents Anonymous can help single parents cope, as
well as other relatives, friends. Kids’ peers and their families can be a stable
influence, too.
v. Minimizing additional stress- keep life simple and minimize changes- often worked
out through divorce mediation over custody and property.
Remarriage/ Blended families – 75% of custodial parents will remarry or cohabit within 3-5 years.
The more marital transitions that children have experienced, the poorer their academic performance.
Second marriages have a poorer stability rate than first marriages.
a. Mother-stepfather families-boys tend to benefit from gaining a stepfather, especially if they
are affectionate. Girls seem to resent stepfathers as a threat to their relationship with their
mother.
b. Father-stepmother families-stepmothers have a harder time gaining acceptance of children
and are often forced into a role of disciplinarian because they are home more.
c. Family composition and Age- children who are early adolescents when the divorce happens
have the poorest adjustment, even 2 years after divorce. They show poorer achievement,
sexual misconduct, delinquency at a higher rate. Even so, most turn out as normal teens.
i. Complex stepparent homes-problems of all kinds are more common (The Brady
Bunch it’s not)
5.
ii. Ownness effect-treating one’s biological child with more affection, support and
involvement than the stepchild. Kids pick up on the favoritism and reject the
stepparent.
iii. Simple stepparent homes-when only one parent brings children it’s easier to carve
out coparenting duties.
Maternal employment- especially enhances daughters’ development, self-esteem, and leads them
to higher educational and career hopes. There is less stereotyping in homes where mom works.
a. Father involvement-as fathers play a bigger role in children’s lives, it benefits children’s
security. If dad is emotionally invested in child rearing, kids are more academically
competent, socially skilled, and display fewer behavior problems. If mom doesn’t have that
sort of support, her stress level can compromise her parenting.
b. Day care-high-quality day care links to social and emotional strengths. Unfortunately day
care in US is spotty in its quality and is very expensive, especially for working class people
who need it most.
c. Self-care/latchkey children-2-4 million kids from 6 to 13 stay home after school by
themselves. Risks are greatest for kids in lower income neighborhoods that may be unsafe
and have many unsupervised kids and gangs available as models. If parents are authoritative
and set rules and monitor after-school chores and homework, these kids turn out responsible
and well-adjusted. If unmonitored, they are more inclined to participate in delinquent
behavior. Children under 8 or 9 are at risk because of their immature thinking and inability to
assess risks. After-school care is more common- these places offer supervision for
homework, creative activities, sports, and computer games. Kids who participate in these
programs are more academically competent and better adjusted, less likely to be caught in
antisocial activities.
Child Abuse- any maltreatment of children- physical, emotional, psychological, neglect. 1 million cases of
child abuse per year, 400,000 cases of sexual abuse (generally by a male relative) Reports have increased in past
20 years.
1. Characteristics of the abuser- 20-40% have a drug problem. 30% of abused children will abuse
their own children. Abusive mothers are often battered, young, poverty stricken, poorly educated,
and single. Most are emotionally insecure who see children’s normal behaviors of frustration as
rejection, disrespect. They are authoritarian and punitive in their discipline.
2. Characteristics of the victim-sometimes only one child is targeted for abuse- often one who was
sickly as a baby, hyperactivity, irritable, with special problems.
3. The ecology of child abuse
a. Characteristics of the family-more often under stress, due to divorce, death, marital stress,
loss of job, new home and no social or family contacts.
b.High-risk neighborhoods- impoverished and deteriorating neighborhoods with few
community services, rec centers, day care programs, churches, parks. Parents live in social
isolation which stresses them more.
c.Cultural influences-US culture has a more permissive attitude about violence in general and
sanctions use of physical punishment to control children. Other cultures have much lower abuse
because they don’t accept violence in conflict.
4. Consequences of Abuse and Neglect- common effects on children are intellectual deficits, academic
problems, depression, social anxiety, low self-esteem, poor relationships with teachers and peers.
Neglect links to academic problems and few friends. Physical abuse links to hostility, aggression,
disordered relationships, discipline problems at school and peer rejection. Abused children also fail to
develop empathy towards others in distress. Nonabused children pay attention and show concern to
distressed children, even trying to comfort the other. Physically abused children become angry and try to
attack the crying child. They have learned that distress triggers anger from others, not concern. They
also learned that there is no need to regulate angry impulses and negative emotions or search for non-
violent solutions to conflict. There is evidence that critical emotion-regulating structures in the brain
deteriorate in response to abuse. It links to higher levels of suicide, violence and aggression, substance
abuse, and depression. Abuse victims may overcome these effects if there is a warm, secure and
supportive relationship somewhere- with grandparent, peer parent, close friend.
5. Childhood sexual abuse-more common in poverty-stricken families, with unhappily married
spouses, drug abuse, or who were molested as children themselves. The offender often elicits complicity
by the victim with gifts, special favors or threats of loss. After-effects include: shame, lack of self-worth,
loss of trust of others, sexualized behaviors (acting out sexually in public, behaving seductively, being
promiscuous), and more often sexually victimized as adults and to feel dissatisfied with marriage and
sexual relationships. They also experience PTSD, with nightmares, flashbacks, intrusive thoughts,
anxiety, and feelings of helplessness. Unfortunately, the child may realize the other parent is complicit
in looking the other way, and realize there is no source of relief or help in the family. Secrecy is such a
big part of this problem that they often feel disloyal by going outside the home for help. If the
nonabusing parent does get help and stop the abuse, there is a good chance for recovery. Sex education
programs in schools are a good place to start to enlighten children as to what is appropriate and what is
not. Teachers also need to be trained to recognize signs of abuse and file their suspicions.
Prevention of abuse and neglect-identifying high-risk families, even at birth with neonatal assessments and
home visits to educate and support new parents. They offer support emotionally, materially, psychologically
and educationally in job skill development. 24-hour hotlines or crisis nurseries for parents in stress helps them
stay in control.
Parents Anonymous-an organization of reformed child abusers that functions as a support group to help
parents overcome their abusive tendencies.
Even with interventions, 35-50% of all fatalities due to maltreatment occur in cases of severe and
repeated maltreatment that law enforcement and social services are already aware of. These families need
coercive interventions, not support at this point. Arrest of parents when abuse is revealed is a reasonable
response to abuse. Unfortunately courts have been reluctant to take custody from a parent even in abuse cases
because children have been considered possessions of parents, not separate people. Often the victim and other
parent won’t testify against the abuser, so the case falls apart. Children’s safety needs to be the primary concern,
though, especially when there is a history of abuse. Children who are not cared for in a stable home end up in
deviant lifestyles, victimized by predators, depressed, suicidal, in the prison population.
EXTRAFAMILIAL INFLUENCES
Television, Schools, Peers
Impact of Television on children-98% of homes have a TV. Kids from 3-11 watch an average of 3-4 hrs/day.
The only activity kids do more of is sleep. A comparative study of children with TV vs. those who are not
exposed to it showed the children who didn’t watch, had higher levels of reading skills and creativity. When TV
was introduced, those children dropped in both abilities.
Television Literacy-the ability to understand how information is conveyed in Tv programming and how to
interpret it. Until age 7, kids can’t understand the fictional nature of TV stories. They also view its
representations as accurate to real life. Younger children focus on acts displayed and don’t understand the
complexity of the context to better interpret acts.
Effects of Television Violence-58% of evening programs contain repeated acts of aggression, and 73% showed
no remorse or got any penalty. The most violent TV programs are those intended for children, especially
cartoons, many by action heroes who are portrayed as role models for children, even associated with humor.
1) Aggression-the more children watch TV violence, the more hostile and aggressive they act.
2) Mean-world beliefs- belief that the world is a more dangerous and frightening place than is the case.
3) Desensitization hypothesis- as people watch more media violence, they become less aroused or
disturbed by it, ultimately becoming more tolerant of aggression and violence.
4) Social Stereotypes-because ads need to communicate the message as purely and intensely as
possible, their images are severely stereotyping. The more children watch it, the more they accept traditional
views of M/F and minorities.
Advertising- kids are exposed to 20K commercials a year which promote empty calorie foods and toys
that may not be very useful. Not only does it create conflicts with parents who try to control access to poor
products, but often when children do get the toy of their dreams, they are disappointed that the toy won’t do
what it’s been shown to do on TV. Kids become jaded at a young age.
Strategies for Reducing the Impact of Tv.
Restricting TV viewing hours, help kids choose appropriate shows to watch, don’t use TV as a babysitter,
explain what they see to them, & parents need to model good, restrained viewing.
Television as an Educator-quality shows emphasize prosocial activities- sharing, comforting, helping others.
Others foster intellectual development.
Sesame Street- encourages skills like counting, learning numbers and letters, classifying objects,
solving problems. In a controlled pretest-posttest design, 950 kids 3-5 yrs old were assessed after a year of
watching Sesame Street. There were significant gains in alphabet knowledge and writing. Longitudinal studies
of viewers of SS show that it is associated with better school performance and more creative activities 10 – 13
yrs later in high school.
Other programs-The Electric Company helps with reading, but is only significantly helpful if kids
watch at school, where teachers can transfer their exposure to learning activities. Children whose parents
emphasize learning programming also provide other educational activities, so their exposure to TV is less
anyway.
Computers-98% of schools use computers for instruction, as well as being in many homes.
Computer-Assisted Instruction (CAI)- using computers to teach concepts and offer skills practice.
Unfortunately many of these programs are simply drills that are not very interesting, but others offer discovery
learning games. Low achievers can benefit.
Computers are also tools that help with writing and note-taking for kids with learning disabilities. Programming
classes contribute to cognitive development in creativity and problem solving. Computer work can encourage
social skill development as kids learn to work together at the computer.
Video Games-80% of teens spend 2+ hrs/week playing. Exposure to violent games does relate to
increased violence in the real world. They also get a fast reinforcement for more violent behavior in the game.
Players develop a hostile bias toward others.
Internet Access-can be useful in researching information for class, but also exposes children to porn
and risks from predators online. The Web, like many things in culture is neither bad nor good inherently, it’s all
about how it is used and viewed.
School as a Socialization Agent-school promotes social values and skills as children have to cooperate and
negotiate their needs, as well as solve problems.
Informal curriculum-cooperation, respect for authority, obeying rules, becoming a citizen. Most kids
enter school before age 6, many for preschool.
Preschool- The Hurried Child expresses concerns that early preschool, organized schooling is
detrimental to young children learning naturally and for their own ends and motivation. Controlled studies do
find that students exposed to early structure are less creative, more stressed and more anxious about tests, less
confident about succeeding in the future and less enthusiastic about school. But these programs can be helpful
to disadvantaged children. They improve in social skills, cognitive growth and have better success in school.
What makes an Effective School Experience?
Effective schools promote academic achievement, social skills, attentive behavior, continuation of education,
skill development toward holding a job.
Less important Factors
Monetary Support-if the school has qualified teachers and adequate support, it makes little
difference in overall effectiveness in teaching.
School or class size-classes smaller than 15-20 for primary grades are beneficial. In larger
classes, it helps if low-ability students are tutored. The size of the school may affect older students’
participation in extracurricular activities. Larger schools offer more activities, but in smaller schools students
are more involved and more likely to hold leadership positions and feel more satisfied with their participation.
In larger schools, kids fall through the cracks and develop a greater sense of alienation. Extracurricular
participation links to staying in school longer and avoiding antisocial activities. Participation should be
encouraged regardless of grades.
Ability Tracking-grouping kids in classes by IQ or achievement, so kids in a class are of
comparable ability does not seem to help or hinder achievement. It does seem to stigmatize though.
Important Factors
SES of students-achievement is lower when student body is mostly disadvantaged.
Scholastic Environment
1. Academic emphasis-focus on academic goals, using homework.
2. Classroom management-little dead time, regular rituals, clear expectations of
behavior and follow-through.
3. Discipline-rules are enforced quickly and consistently, without physical punishment.
4. Teamwork-faculty works as a team, setting objectives and monitoring progress of
students.
Aptitude-Treatment Interaction-characteristics of student and school environment interact to
affect student outcomes- goodness of fit matters.
High-ability students need challenge and high standards of achievement.
Low-ability students need encouragement and warmth to encourage their efforts.
Cultural understanding also helps teachers to work with students in the best way to fit their
traditions.
Transitions from elementary to secondary can result in loss of self-esteem, loss of interest in
school, poorer grades and more behavior problems. Girls entering puberty and changing to a jr hi
at the same time have more problems than girls who don’t have to change schools. K-8 schools
help girls retain a sense of achievement and stability. Middle schools have moved to grades 6-8
to try to moderate this problem, but it hasn’t helped much. The children whose parents have
encouraged autonomy make the transition more easily, but it also helps if parents stay involved
with the school faculty/ activities.
Minorities’ experiences with schools-in some school districts, minorities are the majority of students. Even so,
African American, Latino and Native American children generally earn lower grades in school. Asians tend to
outscore European Americans in school. What makes the difference? Minority parents are often more stressed
and can’t be as involved in the school activities, PTA meetings. When they are more involved, the children do
well. Peers can work toward encouraging student achievement, or against it. Often minority peers devalue
academic achievement, especially African American peers. Latino parents are more often authoritarian, so peers
become more likely to influence friends in school. Asian students more often have authoritarian parents, but
there is such a strong emphasis on education and high standards and this fosters academic success. Respect for
parents is so important in this culture that peers encourage academic success, as well as parents. Therefore these
students do very well in school. Another effect on minority achievement is teacher expectancies. Teachers
subtly communicate stereotypical expectancies- that Asians will be bright and achieving, African and Latino
students will do poorly. Students also come to believe white teachers don’t value or understand them, so they
don’t try as hard. If a teacher sends the message s/he believes the child can succeed, s/he will encourage hard
work and persistence toward the goal, which is often rewarded with success. It also helps motivate children
from other ethnic groups if they learn with stories depicting people of their own culture.
Special-Needs Students- in 1975 the Education for all Handicapped Children Act mandated educating children
with all sorts of special needs. No longer were these children segregated into arenas with little stimulation or
expectation.
Inclusion-also called mainstreaming, integrating special-needs children in the regular
classroom as much as possible. If the child feels rejected by peers, his/her self esteem suffers.
Cooperative Learning methods-teaming regular kids with special kids to work as a team to
solve problems. All kids are rewarded for successfully working as a team. Even the least capable
member gets credit for the group’s success. All children gain in self-esteem and feel more
accepted.
Cross-cultural comparisons of Education- US children are outclassed in math, reading by kids in Taiwan,
China and Japan. The achievement gap seems to reflect different educational practices.
Classroom Instruction-there is more time spent in class in Asia than US. More time is spent in core
instruction- math, reading. Little time is wasted in Asia. US students spend 80% time on task. Asian students
spend 95% time on task. Asians spend more hours per day and days per year in school.
Parental Involvement-Asian parents hold higher expectancies than US parents. Asians hold homework
to be very important and they communicate more often with teachers about their children’s progress.
Student Involvement-Asian students complete more homework and spend more time in scholastic
activity than working, dating or socializing.
Emphasis on Effort-Asian families believe success is more dependent on effort than natural ability, as
US parents do. In Asia, students must pass a very competitive exam to go on to college, so learning is highly
prized. But this pressure leaves Asian students more anxious about achievement. What seems to be most
essential in these schools is the combined effort and emphasis on achievement by parents, peers, teachers.
Standards are being raised in the US, as teachers are held to stricter standards and accountability, longer school
years are being implemented, smaller class sizes offered in elementary school.
Peers-two or more people operating at similar levels of complexity.
Same-Age (Equal Status) so they must learn to negotiate their needs with others and cooperate. It
builds social skills they wouldn’t get at home.
Mixed-Age Interactions-having younger peers fosters compassion, nurture, prosocial thinking,
assertiveness and leadership skills. Having older peers teaches deference to those with power, seeking
assistance. Peer relationships are more flexible than sibling relationships.
Gender segregation increases with age and teaches different functioning. Girls function in pairs, boys
in packs. Boys play more competitively, girls more cooperatively.
Importance of Peers-parents offer a sense of security that allows children to venture forth, explore and meet
other people. Peers offer a more complex environment to adapt to and learn more complex social behavior.
Children who are rejected by peers more likely drop out of school, become involved in criminal activities and
show later emotional problems.
Peer Sociability- one’s willingness to interact with others and seek their attention/ approval.
Infancy and Toddlerhood-begin reacting to one another after 12 mo. More social behavior occurs after
18 mo. With language, after 2 yrs. come role taking behaviors. Social skills (behaviors that allow children to
achieve social goals, harmony with others) develop after 2 years. Reciprocal play develops once children
recognize themselves in the mirror – have a sense of self and means-ends understanding.
Preschool Years- this age child becomes more peer oriented. Play styles are based on complexity:
Nonsocial activity-peers watching others play, but ignoring others’ activity.
Parallel Play-playing side by side, but interacting very little, not influencing one another.
Associative Play-sharing toys and materials, but playing according to their own agenda.
Cooperative Play-acting out make-believe themes, reciprocal role-playing, collaboration in service of a
shared goal.
All styles of play are observed in children of all ages and are considered complex if the activities are
constructive or creative. Complexity of play relates to cognitive development and social competence of the
child. Play allows children to master communication, compromise, development of empathy, and expression
of feelings.
Middle childhood and adolescencepeer groups interact regularly, feel a sense of belonging, and set up norms about behavior, looks, attitudes.
They evolve through:
Cliques-small group of friends who interact regularly.
Crowds-cliques often organize and are defined by shared attitudes or activities. Nerds, jocks,
grungers, skaters. As gender segregation breaks down in early adolescence, members begin pairing up and
establish dating relationships.
Dating-begins with group dates, then pairing up, double-dating, until the crowd breaks up since
it served its purpose of socialization.
Parental effects
Peer Acceptance and Popularity-determined using sociometric techniques- asking children to rate peers as
desirable friends. Popularity is based on socially skilled behaviors- initiating contact with new kids, responding
positively to others’ bids for attention.
1) Popular-children who are liked by many peers and disliked by only a few. They watch the group
when they enter a new environment to see what behavior is expected and mimic it effectively. They know how
to blend in easily.
It’s not as bad to be ignored by peers as to be actively disliked and rejected. Rejected kids feel more lonely.
Neglected kids have a chance at becoming accepted in some group later, while rejected kids don’t.
2) Rejected-disliked by many peers, liked by few. Their behaviors are pushy and self-serving, critical,
threatening and disruptive of others’ play.
a) Rejected-aggressive-alienate peers using proactive means to dominate or bully others.
Actively critical of peer group activities and peers. At risk of developing conduct disorders, criminal behavior.
b) Rejected-withdrawn-socially immature, unusual, insensitive to social norms. They often act
hostile and react aggressively to criticism. They know they aren’t liked and withdraw to avoid feeling excluded.
They feel lonely and show low self-esteem, depression. They often serve as whipping boys.
3) Neglected- seem almost invisible to peers, receiving few likes or dislikes. They hover at the edges of
the group, initiating few connections and shying away from others who try to approach them.
4) Controversial-liked by many, but also disliked by many peers.
5) Average-status- one-third of kids- liked or disliked by a moderate number of peers.
Factors that contribute to popularity/acceptance
Parenting styles-warm, authoritative parents guide children in a way that teaches them to likable. More
autocratic or uninvolved parents raise surly, spoiled, or aggressive kids who are disliked.
Temperament-easy temperament children have an easier time being accepted by others.
Cognitive skills-liked children have better role-taking skills, do better in school, score higher in IQ.
Facial attractiveness-even infants prefer attractive over unattractive faces. More attractive children are
more accepted. It seems that less attractive children feel a certain judgment and react in ways that alienate
others- aggressively, whining.
Behavior-more popular children are calm, outgoing, friendly, supportive of others. They can initiate
interactions and solve problems effectively.
Interventions to improve social skills for Unpopular children:
1) Modeling and reinforcement of better skills- cooperation, sharing
2) Cognitive approaches-teaching the consequences of antisocial behavior, helping these children
develop empathy for others.
3) Coaching-setting up role experiences and helping the child try more positive behaviors. These
interventions are also designed to help children who have hostile attributional bias to reframe
others’ behaviors and react less aggressively.
4) Social Problem-solving training-role-playing conflicts with puppets, and devising less aggressive
solutions to conflict.
5) Academic skills training-many children who are rejected are also failing in school. If they can
develop success in school, often their self-esteem rises and they don’t have to annoy others to get
attention.
Advantages of Friends
Social support/ security-even one friend can be a safety net for a child with problems, stress.
Problem solving skills-learning to settle disputes so as to keep the friendship is a skill for life.
Preparing for Love relationships-develops a foundation of caring and compassion that is necessary to
establish a love relationship later.
Adjustment-close, reciprocal friendships relate to greater enjoyment of school and better involvement.
Poor, conflicted friendships relate to poorer attitudes toward school and lower achievement.
Peer Conformity-the tendency to go along with the wishes of peers or yield to peer pressure. Receptivity to
pressure for misconduct increases until ninth grade (age 15). Peer pressure is greatest at this age. Conformity is
decreasing by the end of high school. It seems to be essential to the young teen, as s/he tries to find his/her own
self and separate from parents. To separate from parents, they need to cleave to others for support. As the
abstract thinking settles in, and teens have some experiences of success based on their merits and efforts, they
no longer need so much group affirmation.
Cross-Pressures-conflicts that stem from differences between parents’ values and peers’ values. Conflict is not
greater because parents and peers exert influence in different domains. Parents influence school, vocational
goals. Peers influence around styles, events, activities to enjoy. Authoritative parents still exert influence over
which peers are acceptable. Their children don’t want to lose acceptance by their parents, since these
relationships are warm and respectful, so they generally don’t rebel in this area. Healthy parents recognize the
good in good kids and accept them in spite of their clothes or appearance. They also instill their values about
critical behaviors at an early age- things such as the risk of drugs, unsafe sex, reckless driving.
Parents who are too rigid and negative with teens, however, can drive them into groups that will suggest
behavior that causes trouble. Parents who don’t supervise or offer any direction also fail to prepare teens to
make responsible decisions or give them a sense of being monitored.