“Cultural Variations of Discipline & Parental Expectations” Dr. Recco Santee Richardson, Ph.D., MA, LPC Recco S. Richardson Consulting, Inc., Flint, MI Giovanna A. Adams, BA, Graduate Student Intern Spring Arbor University, Flint, MI _________________________________________ To secure Dr. Richardson as a guest speaker or trainer, call (810) 394-7815 or send an e-mail to: recco@richardsonsconsulting.com For downloadable/printable copies of all our scholarly articles, go to reccorichardson.com or richardsonsconsulting.com/resource_center_art.html __________________________________________ Abstract This study reports on effective parenting styles. There is also a report on cultural differences regarding child discipline techniques. In addition, this study discusses expectations and experiences of parents and offers parenting tips. The Study’s Participants There were 10 parents interviewed for this study. They reside in the greater Flint, MI area. They are currently parenting school age children. The ethnic makeup of the parents was African American (4), Caucasian (4) and Hispanic (2). Six of the parents were single and four were married. Definitions/Terms Acculturation- The exchange of cultural features that result when groups of individuals from differing cultures come into continuous first hand contact. In essence, the original cultural patterns of the groups may be altered but the groups remain distinct (Santrock, 2007). Assimilation- A complex process by which a group can spontaneously adopt a different culture due to its political relevance or to its perceived superiority. It is when a group integrates itself into the dominant culture (Santrock, 2007). Authoritarian- Parenting style which attempts to shape, control and evaluate the behavior and attitudes of the child in accordance with a set standard of conduct and an absolute standard (Baumrind, 1966). This style of parenting discourages the child’s autonomy. Rather, it promotes and values obedience, order, and a traditional structure where the child does not argue but takes what the parent says and does as right (Baumrind). Culture & Parenting Recco Santee Richardson, Ph.D., & Giovanna Adams, BA Permissive- Parenting style which is non-punitive, acceptant and affirmative (Baumrind, 1966). This style allows children to regulate themselves as much as possible and encourages the child’s input in making decisions about rules. Authoritative- Parenting style that attempts to direct the child’s activities in a rational manner (Baumrind, 1966). This style tends to encourage bi-directional discussions regarding conflict and reasoning behind making decisions. The parent is open to hearing the concerns of the child when conformity is not achieved, values autonomy, self-will and disciplined conformity. This style of parenting typically does not build resilience in children. Introduction Parenting style can be defined as the manner in which a parent interacts with their child that sets a psychological and emotional foundation (Cheung & McBride-Chang, 2008). The construct of parenting in the United States describes raising children. It implies that children should grow up to be well-adjusted, self-sufficient and socially competent adults (Friman, 2009). Parenting is not an easy or well-scripted endeavor; in fact many individuals are fearful when faced with parenthood. Research on parenting has been conducted for over fifty years (Baumrind, 1966). The majority of the research has investigated effective discipline practices and the impact of parents on present and future child behavior. The differing views and practices of parenting have been studied repeatedly so as to understand which approaches best meet the goal of raising welladjusted and self-sufficient children (Friman, 2009). African Americans have a unique heritage that separates them from other ethnic groups. As a result, they tend to parent from a stricter, more authoritarian style in order to prepare children for living in an environment filled with racial bias and discrimination. This point was made by interviewee Robert. He stated, “I must be firm and somewhat intimidating. This mean world would eat my black child up if I changed my approach to parenting. If I do not prepare my children in the manner chosen, I would be setting them up for failure and a rude awakening once they hit adulthood.” Hispanic Americans are a group comprised primarily of individuals from Mexico, Puerto Rico, Cuba and Central and South America. Hispanic culture is patriarchal and characterized by strong belief in family. There is no clear consensus on the parenting styles of Hispanic families. Parenting studies have been extensive so as to provide investigators, clinicians and others with beneficial information. Specifically, most investigators are interested in the aspects of 2 Culture & Parenting Recco Santee Richardson, Ph.D., & Giovanna Adams, BA parenting that may increase children’s problem behavior, as well as those practices that are likely to reduce problem behaviors (Santrock, 2007). Methodology A qualitative methods study was utilized to examine culture and parenting. With the help of face-to-face interviews, this study reported on parenting styles. We utilized face-to-face interviews to explore and report on parent’s expectations, discipline techniques and the associated mental health issues. Participants were asked the typical intake and pre-screening questions such as age and socioeconomic status. During the interview, the participants were asked the same open-ended questions regarding child discipline and their expectations. They were asked approximately 20 open-ended questions that ranged from “What behaviors do they expect from children?” and “What constitutes good behaviors?” to “What is the most rewarding aspect of parenting?” and “Which child discipline techniques are effective?” The participants’ responses generated qualitative data. Data Collection The data collection process utilized standard qualitative tools. The participants’ verbal responses to the interview questions became the raw data, with each response given equal weight and transcribed verbatim. In addition, the researchers’ reflections were collected in an attempt to identify the essence of experiences, themes and clusters. Theoretical Framework There are several frameworks that under-pin parenting efforts. Parenting children can be complex due to lack of clarity, the needs of families, lack of proper support, responsibility and burdens (Small & Eastman, 1997). In general, it is believed that parenting youth ages 14-18 is the most difficult age to parent due to the need to realign the family and various inadequacies presented by family members (Kohler, Grotevant & McRoy, 2002). As well, parenting can be challenging as a result of the ever-changing development of a child’s identity, cognition and morals (Springs, Rosen & Matheson, 2002). The majority of parents do not realize the benefit and fruit of their labor. For example, parents can promote protective factors that effect a child’s decisions regarding drug usage, sexual activity and risk-taking behaviors (MaCaulay et. al, 2003). Additionally, parents who create an 3 Culture & Parenting Recco Santee Richardson, Ph.D., & Giovanna Adams, BA environment of trust and open communication help children to adjust to being part of a blended family, accept their adoption and manage their special needs (Mendenhal, et. al, 2004). Literature Review Parenting Styles and Discipline Practices When children exhibit behavior problems, parents are expected to take on the responsibility of remedying the situation. When the remedy is ineffective, the parent-child relationship is often strained. The stated is the foundation of several studies. For example, Roche et al. (2007) asserted that certain aspects of parenting may act to increase the probability of children’s behavior problems occurring, whereas other aspects are likely to reduce it. Roche et al. (2007) reported that children generally do better when they are exposed to warm supportive parenting. They also found that children experience more problem behaviors when their parents are permissive or disengaged. Across racial and ethnic groups, children reported greater substance use, delinquency, poorer school performance and worse psychological adjustment when parents are not involved or when discipline is lax or inconsistent. Lubell, Lofton and Singer (2008) argued that parenting strategies consistent with authoritative parenting (e.g. parental warmth, inductive discipline, non-punitive punishment practices and consistency) are related to positive child outcomes. Socioeconomic Status and Discipline Practices Parental stress level can be influenced by the socioeconomic status of the parent. For example, additional stressors arise if a parent’s income is not enough to support the family (Roche et al., 2007). While it has been suggested that lower income parents tend to endorse more authoritarian parenting practices (Santrock, 2007), other research has found different patterns of parenting among lower income parents (Lubell, 2008). Parents of lower socioeconomic status may have some combination of vulnerabilities that include low income and lack of the skills. Socioeconomic status is more than income level. It includes educational level, IQ score and learning problems. Conversely, parents with low income may be poor, but have strengths in other areas such as problem solving, social support and positive role models (see table 1). It is possible that the additional factors are responsible, in part, for the mixed results for the link between socioeconomic status and parenting (Lubell, 2008). Discipline Practices and Children’s Behavior 4 Culture & Parenting Recco Santee Richardson, Ph.D., & Giovanna Adams, BA Several studies have investigated the impact that particular discipline practices have on children’s behavior. Inconsistency has been linked with oppositional and aggressive behavior in children (Friman, 2009). In addition, Richardson (2007) found evidence to support warmth and involvement as an inverse predictor of oppositional behavior. Research into child behavior outcomes associated with each style of parenting has traditionally shown strong benefit to authoritative parenting. However, recent research has noted that authoritarian parenting may be more effective in certain contexts as it relates to culture, socio-economic status and social groups other than those studied in early research (Melendez, 2005; Singh & Clarke, 2006; Kim & Hong, 2007). Table 1 Low Income Parent’s Strengths Problem Solving Strong Child Bonding Physical Support _____________________________________________________________________________________ Availability Social Support Positive Role Model ____________________________________________________________________________________ Solid Network Resourceful Common Sense Culture and Discipline There are cultural universals such as, academic achievement, work ethic and overall healthy living. Cultural norms about parenting practices play an important role in how children are raised. Culture influences what values are taught to children and what behaviors are considered appropriate (Melendez, 2005; Singh & Clarke, 2006; Kim & Hong, 2007). Cultural norms can influence the acceptance, delivery, and effectiveness of parenting techniques. Bi-racial interviewee Wanda made reference to the role cultural norms played in her parenting. She stated, “I expect my son to grow up to be the respectable productive African American man that I raised him to be. That is what my family did for me and it is who we are. My job is to share with him my expectations regarding how he is to behave when he is away from my sight and to make good choices. I’m not sure that he can do it right now, but we are working on it. It disappointments me when he fails to put forth acceptable behaviors. It is one thing to tell him how to address an issue, but it is priceless to me to see that he actually cares or values honesty and self respect.” 5 Culture & Parenting Recco Santee Richardson, Ph.D., & Giovanna Adams, BA Maria, a Latin American parent shared similar thoughts. When asked about cultural expectations she stated, “I just expect her not to embarrass me or the family. In my culture, disobedient and untrained children are considered to be a direct reflection of the family’s morals and values. When she acts out, it makes me feel like I’m not doing something right. When she is doing well and things are going good, I take pride in my daughter and her accomplishments.” Overall, parents from all cultural backgrounds hold similar views about which child behaviors are good or bad (see table 2). For example, there was consensus that children should be obedient and not talk back. As well, children should show respect to adults, parents and elders. There was also consensus regarding children being polite, having good manners, sharing, being honest and doing well in school (Melendez, 2005). This point was made by Caucasian interviewee Sherman. He offered the following, “My wife and I expect our children to be successful, well mannered, admit when they are wrong and to be kind to others. Above all else, honesty is important because it builds character and integrity. As devote Catholics, character and integrity are important to us and we want it to be important to our children. For us, what parenting comes down to a lot of the times is pretty simple. We are battling peer pressure. It is challenging for us to know that our children are apt to place the views of their peers above the views (values) we instilled in them. We have learned to trust that we have provided them with the information needed to think critically and be responsible for their actions. We have to let our children make mistakes. It will help them grow.” Table 2 Goal Of Culture, Values and Discipline Respect Social Expectations Explain/Understand Social Conformity _____________________________________________________________________________________ Obedience/Acceptance Family Pride Character Development _____________________________________________________________________________________ Responsibility Moral Stamina Social Class The Center for Disease Control (2008) documented that parent’s need to explain and understand is often motivated by perspectives and experiences. It is also motivated by the established communication style with their child. This type of parenting often is embraced by Caucasians. Caucasian parents tend to focus on teaching moments, probing for motives and 6 Culture & Parenting Recco Santee Richardson, Ph.D., & Giovanna Adams, BA causes of misbehavior and negotiating consequences. The mentioned type of parenting differs from African-Americans and Latino parents. The stated parents believe in strong disciplinary messages, communicate deep affection, have clear rules and establish agreements with their children. For example, Latin American Ariela stated, “For sure my children know what the rules are. They know to do as they are told. They know I do not like getting phone calls from the school. We have discussions about what constitutes a good day for them and what constitutes a good day for me. If we make it through a family outing with no temper tantrums or shouting matches, then everything is good. They know that their behaviors tire me out. I’m learning that my feelings of frustration and anger can get in the way if I do not calm down before addressing a situation. For me, the key to getting them to behave is being consistent with age appropriate consequences, keeping a level head and not getting in to a power struggle.” General Parenting Tips There are basic parenting strategies that are effective across the board. The Center for Disease Control (2008) reports that when conversations with children do not work a series of alternative discipline and strategies should be implemented. 1. The Take Away Game: Removing privileges and eliminating rewards are the most common (and favored) punishment for inappropriate behavior used by members of all cultural groups. Biracial parent Jonisha reported, “Depending on the rule that has been broken, I will take things away from him. I try to discuss the matter and give him consequences for his actions. I typically take away his phone, outings with friends, television and computer time and possibly sports.” 2. Signaling: The giving of the look or using a certain tone can help children make better choices. Parents from all cultural groups report that signaling is effective (Center for Disease Control, 2008). 3. To Respond Or Not: The successful parent knows when to respond to their child’s attention seeking behaviors and when to ignore. African American interviewee Benjamin offered the following, “Over the years I have learned to screen out my children’s plots for negative attention. I give them plenty of positive attention and strokes. When they demand more attention by acting out, I simply ignore them or act like I’m too pre-occupied to respond.” 4. You Heard Me: Most children need verbal cues regarding their inappropriate behaviors. It is held that warnings, threats and yelling are common. However, in a recent study parents admitted that yelling and making empty threats is not effective (Center for Disease Control, 2008). 5. Emotional Control: A growing number of parents utilize guilt, shame, embarrassment and rejection as forms of discipline. For example White, African-American and Latino parents 7 Culture & Parenting Recco Santee Richardson, Ph.D., & Giovanna Adams, BA believe that inducing guilt was a good response. As one White father said, “We’ve never hit our daughter or spanked her. We found that “guilt” works so well (Center for Disease Control, 2008). Parenting Tips In our years of work experience and parenting, we have developed the following parenting coping skills: 1. We now realize that parenting is a process of teaching and guidance. It is not the policing of possible problems. Once we realized the stated, undo pressure was taken away. 2. We have learned to laugh. We now laugh at life and our daily experiences. Painful situations that are a part of our life now are quenched by making our soul merry and happy. 3. We have learned to remember that adolescence is a difficult stage of life. We now relax and accept the fact that youth make mistakes and stumble from time to time. 4. We have set out to feel good about ourselves regardless of our child’s behaviors or progress. If we do not feel good about ourselves, no one else will. 5. We find value in parenting in the present, with mercy for the past and an eye towards the future. These wise words have rescued us on several occasions. The words are a lifeline and our best friend. 6. We are now quick to ask for help. By regularly seeking and asking for help, the element of surprise and crisis is subdued. 7. Before anything else, we now take care of ourselves first. If we are not happy, no one in the house will be happy. 8. We have come to realize that our household rules are a guidepost, not the law of the land. As a result, our goal now is not 100 percent compliance on every hand. Rather, the goal is the maintaining of structure, clarity of roles and the pursuit of happiness for each household member. 9. We finally accept the fact that our child’s behaviors are not always a reflection of us. Their behaviors are sometimes a reflection of their pains. Yesterday’s child engineered troubles and turmoil no longer get the best of us. We have learned to draw the line and to avoid unnecessarily taking on the pains of our children. 10. We embrace the fact that everyone can change, even our child. A daily quick look in the mirror confirms within us that every one can change for the better. 8 Culture & Parenting Recco Santee Richardson, Ph.D., & Giovanna Adams, BA Closing Views Parents from five cultural groups participated in this study. In addition to differences between cultural groups, there were variations within each group, including levels of acculturation, socioeconomic status, and education. Although the parent groups were diverse, the results of this study show that parents from different cultural backgrounds share many similar values and norms about how children should behave and what parents should do to address misbehavior. Our research indicates that parents desire their children to be respectful, obedient, polite, etc. Also, there was the shared belief that children who do not perform well in school, who are disrespectful and who have temper tantrums are an embarrassment. The parents in this study agreed that when children misbehave, disciplinary tactics such as expressing disapproval, explaining and setting limits should be attempted before resorting to more punitive practices such as isolation or taking away privileges. Parents’ thoughts about child rearing and the ways in which they interact with children are culturally determined. Particular parenting or developmental goals need to be explored to advance our understanding of parenting style variations among African American and Latino families, who often share the common experience of living in poor, inner-city neighborhoods and low-income economic status. Copyright (January 2010) Recco S. Richardson Consulting, Inc. This publication is protected. Individuals may print or download the content of this publication only for their personal use. Content may not be reproduced on websites without expressed permission. Please link instead. 9 Culture & Parenting Recco Santee Richardson, Ph.D., & Giovanna Adams, BA References Baumrind, D. (1966). Effects of authoritative parental control on child behavior. Child Development, 37, 887-907. Cheung, C., & McBride-Chang, C. (2008). Relations of perceived maternal parenting style, practices, and learning motivation to academic competence in Chinese children. MerrillPalmer Quarterly, 54, 1-22. Discipline Guidelines for Parents. (n.d.). Retrieved November 28, 2009 from Wikipedia Website: http://www.en.wikipedia.org Friman, P. C. Parenting Techniques and Guidelines for Discipline. Retrieved November 28, 2009 from Boys Town Saving Children & Healing Families Website: http://www.parenting.org Kohler, J., Grotevant, H, & McRoy, R. (2002). Adopted adolescent’s pre-occupation with adoption: The impact on adoptive family relationships. Journal of Marriage & Family, 64, 75-86. Lubell KM, Lofton T, Singer HH. Promoting Healthy Parenting Practices Across Cultural Groups: A CDC Research Brief. Atlanta (GA): Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, National Center for Injury Prevention and Control; 2008. MaCaulay, A., Griffin, K., Gronewold, E., & Botvin, G. (2002) Parenting practices and adolescent drug-related knowledge, attitudes, norms and behaviors.” Journal of Alcohol & Drug Education, 22, 67-83. Melendez L. (2005) Parental beliefs and practices around early self-regulation: The impact of culture and immigration. Infants Young Child, 18, 136-46. Mendenhall, T., Berge, J., Wrobel, G., Grovevant, H., & McRoy, R. (2004). Adolescent’s satisfaction with contact in adoption. Child and Adolescent Social Work Journal, 21, 175-190. Richardson, R.S. (2007). Parenting the defiant child. Unpublished manuscript. Roche, K. M., Ensminger, M. E., & Cherlin, A. J. (2007). Variations in Parenting and Adolescent Outcomes Among African American and Latino Families Living in Low-Income, Urban Areas. Journal of Family Issue, 28, 882-909. Santrock, J. W. (2007). A topical approach to life-span development, Ed. Third New York: McGraw-Hill. 10 Culture & Parenting Recco Santee Richardson, Ph.D., & Giovanna Adams, BA Small, S., & Eastman, G. (1997). Rearing adolescents in contemporary society: A conceptual framework for understanding the responsibilities and needs of parents. ARC Professional Service Group, 87-103 Springs, B., Rosen, K., & Matheson, J. (2002). How parents experience a transition to adolescent: A qualitative study. Journal of Child and Family Studies, 11, 411-425. Other Scholarly Articles By Recco S. Richardson Richardson, Recco S., & Thompson, Tracey. (2010). Aging out issues for youth and case mangers. Unpublished manuscript. Richardson, Recco S., & McGowan, Sabrina. (2010). Adult survivors of childhood abuse/neglect: Keys to breaking the generational cycle. Unpublished manuscript. Richardson, Recco S. & Adams, Giovanna. (2010). Cultural variations of discipline and parental expectations. Unpublished manuscript. Richardson, Recco S. (2009). Youth who present with internal and behavioral issues. Unpublished manuscript. Richardson, Recco S. (2009). Parenting the sexually abused child. Unpublished manuscript. Richardson, Recco S., Peraino, Robin & Garza, Cristina. (2009). Their children, my responsibility: A clinical look at grandparent caregiving solutions & strategies. Unpublished manuscript. Richardson, Recco S. (2009). Domestic violence and children: How parents and mental health providers can address the fall out. Unpublished manuscript. Richardson, Recco S. (2009). Psychological and educational insight: A closer look at fetal alcohol spectrum disorders and executive functioning. Unpublished manuscript. Richardson, Recco S. (2008). Bias in the counseling session: Are religious individuals pathologized? Unpublished manuscript. Richardson, Recco S. & Garza, Cristina. (2008). Restoring the joy of parenting by overcoming shame and guilt. Unpublished manuscript. Richardson, Recco S. & Williams, Tywanda. (2008). Strategies for helping children, adolescents & adults overcome the stigma associated with receiving mental health treatment. Unpublished manuscript. Richardson, Recco S. (2007). Parenting the defiant child. Unpublished manuscript. 11 Culture & Parenting Recco Santee Richardson, Ph.D., & Giovanna Adams, BA Available Resources From Recco S. Richardson Compact Disc CD # 12006: Single Parents Raising Boys to Be Men CD # 12017: Raising Girls to Be Women CD # 12028: Working Professionals Guide to Servicing At-Risk Youth CD # 12039: Indicators of Child Sexual Abuse & Recovery Strategies CD # 12040: Young Adults Who Excel CD # 12051: Unraveling the Defiant Child CD # 12062: Straight Talk to Special Education Students CD # 12073: Parenting the Angry Child Part #1 CD # 12084: Parenting the Angry Child Part #2 CD # 12095 Where Do We Go From Here CD # 12101: Helping Blended Families Bend Without Breaking CD # 13011: Overcoming Family Conflict CD # 13126: No Child Will Disrespect Me Books Richardson, Recco. (2009). Parenting the angry child. Santee Publication, Flint, MI 2009 Richardson, Recco & Young Authors. (2009). Listen to me: A journey into the expressions of our youth. Santee Publication, Flint, MI 2009 12