 Patient or Edgy?
 Relaxed or Uptight?
 Permissive or Strict?
 Orderly or Messy?
 Fearful or Content?
 Active or Slow Paced?
 Task or Process
Oriented?
• What's Important to You?
• What "Pet Peeves" Do
You Have?
• What Values do You Lead
By?
• What's Your Greatest
Fear(s)?
• What are Your Struggles?

 Sleep
 Friendship
 Fun
 Medical/Physical
Health
 Exercise
 Quiet
 Intimacy

 Your Family of Origin
 Your Parents Style
 Your Birth Order
 Your Family Wounds
 Your Personal Traumas
 Your Unmet Needs
 Your Shame or
Failures
Our Past Has an
Influence on Us- Like it or
Not- But Don't Let it
Determine Our
Parenting

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The Family Can Be No Better
Than The Marriage Within It
Children are Barometers of the Family Atmosphere

 That You are Not Enough?
 You are Not a Good Mom?
 A Bad Parent?
 Have to Have the Answers?
 You Have to Fix It? Control It?
 You Don't Have a Voice?
 It's Your Fault?
You Have Made
"Agreements" with "The
Father of Lies"… When
We Come to Believe the
Lies About Ourselves,
Life, & God- We are
Comfortable with Them
The Truth About Us is
Found in Scripture- So
Make Agreements with
God http://youaremygirls.com/
31-days-made/

 Who Do You Lean
On?
 Where is God in Your
Struggle?
 In Your Joy?
 In Your Parenting?
You Can't Parent
Alone
A God-Centered
Perspective Leads
Parenting in Healthy
Ways
Children are Gifts and
Opportunities for
Personal Growth…
Teaching
Unselfishness (I
Tim.2:15), Deference
(Eph.5:21), and Love
(Titus 2:4)

 Traits inborn- not the result of parenting
 Traits that are clear by 1 st grade remain for life (typically)
 Some traits clear from 1 st week of life
• Rhythmic or
Haphazard?
• Active or Relaxed?
• Sensory Sensitive or
Not?
• Persistent or Give Up?
• Intense or Easy Going?
• Negative or Positive?
• Introvert or Extravert?
• Slow to Warm or
Quick?

1. Cognitive
(Piaget)

2. Moral
(Kohlberg)

3. Faith (Fowler)

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• An Honest
Acceptance of Your
Child’s Uniqueness
Foster Greater
Nurturing & Growth
• Tend to Special
Needs…
• Nurture What is
Already There…
• Find “Island of
Competence”

• There is no rulebook
• There are guidelines-
Prov.22:6:Training
• We all have wounds… you can’t stop your child from experiencing them
• You have influencenot ultimate power
• Kids grow up in spite of you
• Safety- Security
• Love- Relationships
(I Cor.13)
• Food, clothing, shelter
• Rules- Expectations
• ??
(Basics)

• Truth in love (Eph.4:15)
• Speak to their level
• Speak truth about success
• Speak truth about love
• Speak truth about weaknesses- Failures
• Speak truth about God
Use words wisely
Timing
Level
Silence
Directness
More than Words
Model it-Your Life Says
More than Your Words

• You can’t force maturity
• You can’t skip stages of growth/development
• You can’t stop failure
• Teach/Train delayed gratification
• Teach/Train ability to adapt to change
We Learn By Living:
• Watching you model
– providing an example
• Experiences teach us
– over and over and over again
• We need a coach more than a dictator