DISTRESS TOLERANCE
Skills for tolerating painful events, emotions, and
thoughts when you cannot make things better right away.
Distract yourself: WISE MIND ACCEPTS with:
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Activities - engage in hobbies; exercise; get chores done; go for a walk; play a
game; read a book; talk to someone; draw; do word searches….
Contributing – do something nice for someone; ask someone else if you can
help out…
Comparisons – compare yourself to those less fortunate; watch the news;
think about how things could be worse
Emotions – do things that trigger Different Emotions – if you are sad or angry,
read the comics or watch a comedy; if you are afraid, listen to sad or happy
music
Pushing Away – leave the situation physically (walk away), or mentally
(refuse to think about it; put it “on the shelf” to deal with at another time)
Thoughts – think about other things; count things; read a book, watch TV,
Sensations – use intense sensations (hold an ice cube, squeeze a rubber ball,
have a cold/hot shower, snap a rubber band around your wrist)
Self-Soothe with your senses
1. Vision – color or draw a picture; go for a walk and notice your surroundings, look
through a photo album or picture book…
2. Hearing – listen to music; pay attention to sounds, birds, nature; hum a soothing
tune, play a musical instrument…
3. Smell – put on a lotion or perfume; bake something; breath slowly and deeply
through your nose and take in the smells…
4. Taste – eat something you enjoy; suck on a candy; chew gum…
5. Touch – take a bath or shower; put lotion on; relax in a comfy chair; ask for a hug
from someone, cuddle a plush toy…
Radical Acceptance
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Work on accepting that “what has happened has happened”; there is nothing you
can do to change the past; acceptance is the only way out of painful suffering
Remember that you can choose to turn your mind from pain and suffering
(rejecting reality) over to acceptance (accepting reality), and you may have to do
this over and over and over again.
Improve the moment (IMPROVE)
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Imagery: imagine relaxing scenes; day dream about nice things; picture your
favorite things in your mind
Meaning: “make lemonade out of lemons” – focus on the positive aspects of a
negative experience
Prayer: trust a higher being if you are religious
Relaxation: scan your body for tension and relax; listen to a relaxation MP3;
breath deeply and mindfully; put on a “half smile”
One thing in the moment: focus all your attention on what you are doing
(walking; chores; hobbies; mindfulness practice)
Vacation: give yourself a “mini vacation”; have a nap; go to the park
Encouragement: be a cheerleader for yourself – tell yourself over and over that
“things will work out okay in the end”, and “I’ll get through this”
Pros and Cons
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Make a list of the pros and cons of tolerating the distress and another list of the
pros and cons of not tolerating the distress and doing whatever impulsive thing
your thinking of doing
Think of your long term goals and how the impulsive behavior will move you
closer to or further away from your goals.
Thinks of times in the past that you have acted impulsively and what the
consequences were
Think of how much better you will feel afterwards if you are able to tolerate the
distress
Willfulness vs. Willingness (refusing to do what you “know” to be right
vs. letting go of resistance and doing what is more likely to be effective)
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Remind yourself over and over that you can “choose” how you respond to all
situations in your life, good and bad.
You can choose to tune into your WISE MIND and do the right thing, just as you
can choose to act out of EMOTION MIND or REASON MIND and act
impulsively, argue over and over until things get out of hand, give up and avoid
solving problems, or act on impulses that may feel good in the moment but are
destructive over the long term…
Remind yourself that you deserve to have a good life, and you can do what it
takes to make it better