Personal Development Key Stage 3
Layer 3
Theme :
Aim :
Relationships and Sexuality
To explore and understand the process of developing and maintaining appropriate, healthy relationships.
Year Sub-theme
8
Gender and Identity
Suggested Learning
Intentions
Pupils are learning:
 to identify the
differences between
boys’ and girls’ self
image and the
misconceptions each
may have of the other
Possible Activities/Resources

Divide class into single gender groups. Groups of girls
should list ‘What’s inside boys’ heads/what do boys
think about?’ Groups of boys answer the same
questions about girls.
Note: This activity is suitable for mixed schools.

As a class, boys and girls discuss the
assumptions/perceptions/misconceptions each may
have of the other.

In Pairs - share with a partner a belief they had about
the opposite sex that has been challenged or clarified.
Identify how this might change their attitudes towards
the opposite sex in future.
In single sex schools a female teacher could take the
role of girls and a male teacher to do the same in a
girls’ school. Alternatively girls and boys could
interview siblings and friends of the opposite sex
regarding their perceptions of the other.
Development of
Thinking Skills and
Personal Capabilities
Thinking, Problem
Solving, Decision
Making
Make predictions,
examine evidence,
distinguish fact from
opinion
Working With
Others
Respect the views and
opinions of others
Theme :
Aim :
Relationships and Sexuality
To explore and understand the process of developing and maintaining appropriate, healthy relationships.
Year Sub-theme
8
Types of relationships
Suggested Learning
Intentions
Pupils are learning:
 to understand that
adults can have
different expectations
of boys and girls
Possible Activities/Resources

In small mixed groups pupils should discuss whether
boys and girls are still treated differently by
parents, teachers, the media and their peers.
(Love Matters, Yr 8, ‘Its good to be me’ Pupil sheet 1d
Gender Issues)
Development of
Thinking Skills and
Personal Capabilities
Working With
Others
Develop routines of
turn-taking, sharing
and cooperating


Develop a case study entitled ‘A Day in the Life of
Bill’ which follows a Year 8 pupil through a typical
day in which he encounters a number of people with
whom he has relationships or friendships.
Being creative
Value other peoples
ideas to stimulate
own thinking
to develop an
understanding of the
range of relationships
experienced by young
people, (including
friendships)
Pupils identify the different friendships/relationships
that Bill has with different people throughout the day,
eg, with family members, school friends, class mates,
friends, teachers, responsible adults etc. They can
display this on a spider diagram or mind map.
Use a grid to show what type of relationship it is
(Family, Educational, Functional, Friendship etc.) and
how personal the relationship is (using a scale of 1-10).
Managing
Information
Select most
appropriate info. for
task
Theme :
Aim :
Relationships and Sexuality
To explore and understand the process of developing and maintaining appropriate, healthy relationships.
Year Sub-theme
8
Qualities of Friendship
Suggested Learning
Intentions
Pupils are learning:
 to identify their own
web of relationships
Possible Activities/Resources
Development of
Thinking Skills and
Personal Capabilities

Use the grid from the previous activity to show pupils’
own relationships (remind pupils that they only need
identify those relationships/friendships that they want
to).

to explore the
significance of roles,
responsibilities and
relationships within the
family.

In groups take on the roles of parent or child and role
play using the three Love Matters scenarios:
o sharing household chores
o going away for a weekend
o impact of teenage hobbies on family life (or
examine children as carers)
(Love Matters Yr 8 Me and My Family Pupil sheet 2a)
Feedback as a class.
Working With
Others
Adapt behaviour and
language to suit
different people and
situations

to explore the qualities
of a good friendship

Use the cards from Love Matters Yr 8 Pupil sheet 2b
and 2c.
Sort these cards into two groups (Helpful to a
Friendship and Not Helpful), adding additional
examples if necessary.
Rank the ‘Helpful’ cards in terms of importance using
Diamond 9 (placing the cards in a diamond shape with
the top card being the most important, the bottom the
least). In groups, or as a class, discuss their answers.
Thinking, Problem
Solving, Decision
Making
Sequence, order,
classify, make
comparisons
Theme :
Aim :
Relationships and Sexuality
To explore and understand the process of developing and maintaining appropriate, healthy relationships.
Year Sub-theme
Suggested Learning
Intentions
Pupils are learning:
Managing difficulties
 to understand that
and conflict within
conflict can arise
relationships, including
within
friendships
relationships, including
friendships, when
certain qualities are not
present
Possible Activities/Resources
8

Discuss, develop and role play four scenarios
demonstrating :
o Lack of listening such as a teacher not listening to
a pupil’s worries/concerns or a friend who is too
self-centred to listen to another.
o Lack of respect such as a friendship/group which
demonstrates aggression towards one member
about what choice of film to see at the cinema.
o Lack of empathy such as an over-protective parent
telling a young person they are not allowed out to a
school disco.
o Lack of trust such as a friend who shares a secret
with another who then passes it on to many more.
Identify how and why each problem arose.
The cards from the previous activity could be used as a
reference point for this activity (what is helpful and
what is unhelpful in a relationship).
Development of
Thinking Skills and
Personal Capabilities
Being creative
Experiment with
ideas and questions
Making new
connections between
ideas/information
Working With
Others
Listen actively and
share opinions
Respect the views and
opinions of others
Theme :
Aim :
Relationships and Sexuality
To explore and understand the process of developing and maintaining appropriate, healthy relationships.
Year Sub-theme
8
Suggested Learning
Intentions
Pupils are learning:
 to develop strategies to
avoid and resolve
conflict
Possible Activities/Resources

Read ‘Tips for Conflict Resolution, Pupil Sheet 3A’
Love Matters Yr 8 Coping with Broken Relationships.
Using the same scenarios from the previous activity or
new scenarios from Pupil Sheet 3C, role play in groups
using the tips to attempt to resolve the conflict.
In each group, include an observer who feeds back on
the success of the skills practiced and used. Switch
around after a few minutes so that each person has a
chance to role play and observe.
Development of
Thinking Skills and
Personal Capabilities
Working With
Others
Give and respond to
feedback
Thinking, Problem
Solving, Decision
Making
Make links between
cause and effect
Use Pupil Sheet 3B to reflect on the roles each adopted
in the conflict resolution role play.

Personal written reflection summarising situations in
their life when using these tips may have avoided or
helped to resolve conflict and also identifying what
roles they have taken in previous conflict situations.
Self Management
Review learning and
some aspect that
might be improved
Theme :
Aim :
Relationships and Sexuality
To explore and understand the process of developing and maintaining appropriate, healthy relationships.
Year Sub-theme
8
Challenging
relationships
Suggested Learning
Intentions
Pupils are learning:
 to develop skills and
knowledge to ensure
personal safety and be
aware of various
sources of support
Possible Activities/Resources

Development of
Thinking Skills and
Personal Capabilities
Examine a range of age appropriate personal stories or Thinking, Problem
Solving, Decision
media resources that show young people whose
Making
personal safety has been threatened in the context of
Make predictions,
relationships with adults and peers. It is important for
examine evidence,
teachers to use their professional judgement in the
distinguish fact from
choice of articles.
opinion
Provide a framework for pupils to gather evidence from Make links between
the sources, eg, ‘Who was involved?’, ‘How did the
cause and effect
situation arise?’ ‘How serious, in terms of personal
safety, would they judge the situation to be?’
Using Pupil Sheet 4A ‘Guidelines for Personal Safety’
discuss how the situation could have been avoided or
dealt with at an earlier stage.
Examine options,
weigh up pros and
cons
Use Sheet 4B to outline what to do and where to go for
help and the importance of respecting these resources.
This could be used in conjunction with a visit from a
support organisation to the school or class.
(‘Keeping Safe Pupil Sheets 4A and 4B’ Love Matters
Yr8)
Self Management
Seek advice when
necessary
Theme :
Aim :
Relationships and Sexuality
To explore and understand the process of developing and maintaining appropriate, healthy relationships.
Year Sub-theme
8
Sexual maturation
Suggested Learning
Intentions
Pupils are learning:
 to explore and
understand the main
physical and emotional
changes that take place
in puberty
Possible Activities/Resources

Note: It would be useful to liaise with the Science
Department regarding the timing of these lessons so
that they coincide with related topics in Biology, for
example.
Use a Venn diagram to illustrate what happens during
puberty to boys, girls and what is common to both.
Discussion :
What happens to my emotions and why? How is this
affecting my relationships with others (feelings, mood
swings etc)?

to be aware of the
importance of personal
hygiene issues during
and after puberty
It is important to model to pupils how to raise the
subject of personal hygiene sensitively. Pupils could
make up replies to ‘Agony Aunt’ letters saying how to
raise this subject sensitively with a friend. There are
some good video resources available, but these should
be introduced and followed up adequately.
Websites can also be useful (www.bbc.co.uk/teens/ and
teenadvice.about.com/).
(Love Matters Year 8 ‘Changes to my Body’ Pupil
Sheet 5b)
Development of
Thinking Skills and
Personal Capabilities
Managing
Information
Use a range of
methods for collating,
recording and
representing info.
Thinking, Problem
Solving, Decision
Making
Make links between
cause and effect
Personal Development Key Stage 3
Layer 3
Theme :
Aim :
Relationships and Sexuality
To explore and understand the process of developing and maintaining appropriate, healthy relationships.
Year Sub-theme
9
Suggested Learning
Intentions
Pupils are learning:
Communication
 to identify the qualities
and respect within
and values necessary to
friendship
sustain a good friendship
Possible Activities/Resources


Introduce the importance of being a good listener
within a relationship/friendship.
(Love Matters Pupil worksheet 7a Role Play cards)
Thought shower (pupils come up with as many ideas as
possible), ‘What demonstrates good and bad listening
skills?’. Record the answers on a flipchart
In pairs, pupils practice good listening skills (verbal
and non verbal), using topics such as favourite TV
programmes, best holiday or event etc.
At the end of the activity, hold a class discussion on:
o What non-verbal behaviours were helpful when
being listened to?
o How does it feel when you know you are being
listened to?
o What types of comments and questions
demonstrated that the listener was listening?
Development of
Thinking Skills and
Personal Capabilities
Working With
Others
Listen actively and
share opinions
Understand how
actions and words
affect others
Give and respond to
feedback
Theme :
Aim :
Relationships and Sexuality
To explore and understand the process of developing and maintaining appropriate, healthy relationships.
Year Sub-theme
Suggested Learning
Intentions
Pupils are learning:
Possible Activities/Resources
Development of
Thinking Skills and
Personal Capabilities
Point out that good listening also requires that the
listener demonstrates empathy, respect and trust (see
‘Qualities of friendship’ and ‘Managing Difficulties
and Conflict within Relationships’ Love Matters Year 8
Sub Themes).
9
Developing close
personal
friendships,
including
romantic
friendships.

to identify the

importance and
advantages of
developing and
maintaining a wide circle
of friends of both sexes
In groups, pupils prepare an argument for or against the
motion ‘This house believes teenage boys and girls
cannot be just friends’.
A formal or informal debate then follows.
(‘Pupil Worksheet 9d Friendship 1 Review’ Love
Matters Year 9)
Working With
Others
Develop routines of
turn-taking, sharing
and cooperating

Whole class to draw up a list of the pros and cons of
young people bonding/developing many close personal
friendships in a friendship group compared to ‘pairing
off’. Make sure the discussion is applicable to single
sex and mixed sex pairs/groups.
Thinking, Problem
Solving, Decision
Making
Examine options,
weigh up pros and
cons
Theme :
Aim :
Relationships and Sexuality
To explore and understand the process of developing and maintaining appropriate, healthy relationships.
Year Sub-theme
Suggested Learning
Intentions
Pupils are learning:
 to explore romantic
relationships and the
concept of Love
Possible Activities/Resources


Thought shower endings to the sentence ‘I love……..’
eg, pop group, my Granny, etc. Ask pupils to suggest
different categories for the different types of love
(familial, pastoral/caring, romantic etc).
(‘Pupil Worksheet 9c Different types of love’ Love
Matters Year 9)
Development of
Thinking Skills and
Personal Capabilities
Being creative
Making new
connections between
ideas/information
Use all the senses to
stimulate and
Within the context of romantic love pupils look at the
definition of Love from 1 Corinthians Ch 13 along with contribute to ideas
‘Pupil Worksheet 10A’. In pairs or groups of three use
these two sources to write an agreed statement, “Love
is……”.
Challenge the routine
The concept of Love can be further developed using
method
the resources in Topics 9 and 10 of the Year 9 Love
Matters materials.
(Love Matters pupil worksheet 10a)
Theme :
Aim :
Relationships and Sexuality
To explore and understand the process of developing and maintaining appropriate, healthy relationships.
Year Sub-theme
9
Internal and
External
influences on
romantic
relationships
Suggested Learning
Intentions
Pupils are learning:
 to identify the necessary
components for a
romantic relationship
Possible Activities/Resources
 Pupils create their ideal boyfriend/girlfriend using the
headings on an A4 sheet divided into 4 quadrants:
o What should they look like?
o What personal qualities should they have?
o What might their interests be?
o How should they treat you?
Ask for volunteers to explain their choices.

Development of
Thinking Skills and
Personal Capabilities
Being creative
Use all the senses to
stimulate and
contribute to ideas
Take risks for
learning
Hold a class discussion on the importance of mutual
respect, empathy, genuineness, love, trust, etc in
romantic relationships.
Working With
Others
Respect the views and
opinions of others
Theme :
Aim :
Relationships and Sexuality
To explore and understand the process of developing and maintaining appropriate, healthy relationships.
Year Sub-theme
9
Suggested Learning
Intentions
Pupils are learning:
 to recognise the role of
the media on attitudes,
values and behaviours of
young people and the
impact this may have on
relationships
Possible Activities/Resources
 Provide a selection of images/advertisements from
magazines or newspapers featuring people in
relationships.
Use these to identify the messages that are being
portrayed in the advertisements regarding relationships.
Development of
Thinking Skills and
Personal Capabilities
Thinking, Problem
Solving, Decision
Making
Make links between
cause and effect
How might these messages impact on attitudes, values
and behaviours of young people and link this to how it
might affect the pupils and their own personal or
romantic relationships?
9
Coping strategies
when romantic
relationships
break down.

to identify problems
within romantic
relationships, suggesting
options for coping, and
considering the
consequences of these
approaches

In groups of four to six, pupils develop a collage using
images that they feel have an influence on young
people and their relationships.

In small groups, using the situation cards from the
Pupil Sheet, pupils discuss and agree a response. Take
feedback. Consider consequences and the beliefs and
values that underpin their decisions. Agree a whole
class response to each particular situation.
(Love Matters Topic 10 Friendship(2) Pupil sheet 10b
What should I do?)
Being creative
Making new
connections between
ideas/information
Working With
Others
Listen actively and
share opinions
Respect the views and
opinions of others,
reaching agreements
using negotiation and
compromise
Personal Development Key Stage 3
Layer 3
Theme :
Aim :
Relationships and Sexuality
To explore and understand the process of developing and maintaining appropriate, healthy relationships.
Year Sub-theme
10
Establishing
boundaries in
relation to others
Suggested Learning Intentions
Pupils are learning:
Possible Activities/Resources


Recap from Year 9 the different kinds of love we
experience.

Different boundaries around our behaviour are set
depending on the nature of the relationship.
Consider the boundaries that would be set on a
pupil’s behaviour if they were with their friends,
girl/boy friend, parents, teachers etc.
to understand the concept
of physical and emotional
boundaries

Practical activities :
o Exploring physical and emotional boundaries;
o Reducing distance/paired talking activity–
Points for consideration
o How did it feel when the speaker was too close?
o Do we feel more comfortable with physical
closeness if we know the person well or if they
are a friend?
o What does ‘personal space’ mean?
o Good touch / bad touch. How do we decide what
is good or bad?
o How does the relationship affect what is a good
touch or bad touch?
Development of
Thinking Skills and
Personal Capabilities
Self Management
Compare their
approach with others
and in different
contexts
Working With
Others
Understand how
actions and words
affect others
Listen actively and
share opinions
Theme :
Aim :
Relationships and Sexuality
To explore and understand the process of developing and maintaining appropriate, healthy relationships.
Year Sub-theme
10
Suggested Learning Intentions
Pupils are learning:
Possible Activities/Resources


Exploring emotional boundaries:
This is when you set your limits by what does or
doesn’t feel right and this can have many influences,
eg, parents, friends, society, the media etc.
Use scenarios to examine where pupils set boundaries
in a number of different situations.
Explore why they put the limits where they do.

Explore how we behave differently towards others
and how we expect others to behave differently
towards us. For example, parents, teachers, doctor,
friends etc.
Use examples to show how behaviour changes, eg,
the language you use, how you act, how confident
you are when asking personal questions.
Compare their
approach with others
and in different
contexts
Use situation cards to examine a range of
relationships in different contexts and how they
impact on behaviour.
Thinking, Problem
Solving, Decision
Making
Make links between
cause and effect
to identify and set
appropriate boundaries for
different relationships and
contexts
Development of
Thinking Skills and
Personal Capabilities
Self Management
Be aware of personal
strengths, limitations
and interests
Working With
Others
Understand how
Discuss the reasons for these differences in behaviour actions and words
affect others
in both ourselves and others.
Theme :
Aim :
Relationships and Sexuality
To explore and understand the process of developing and maintaining appropriate, healthy relationships.
Year Sub-theme
Suggested Learning Intentions
Pupils are learning:
10

to develop coping
strategies to deal with
challenging relationships
Possible Activities/Resources

One occasion when our physical and emotional
boundaries are tested is when we go on a date.
Explore attitudes and beliefs around dating.
Reflect on ways of asking someone out and explore
the reasons for individual choices.
(Love Matters Year 10 Topic 16 Dating)

Use scenarios or show TV clips of awkward or
difficult situations regarding relationships. In groups
decide on the most appropriate course of action for
these situations.
Create a bank of useful strategies for coping in
different situations and role play them in small
groups or as a whole class.

to practise assertiveness
skills to reinforce
boundaries

Identify what being assertive means. It’s important
to understand what it doesn’t mean, eg, aggression.

Discuss a range of situations when it is important to
be assertive. For example, feeling pressured to drink
alcohol, use drugs, go to a nightclub, have sex etc.
Development of
Thinking Skills and
Personal Capabilities
Self Management
Manage emotions and
behaviour in a range
of situations
Thinking, Problem
Solving, Decision
Making
Examine options,
weigh up pros and
cons
Working With
Others
Understand how
actions and words
affect others
Theme :
Aim :
Relationships and Sexuality
To explore and understand the process of developing and maintaining appropriate, healthy relationships.
Year Sub-theme
Suggested Learning Intentions
Pupils are learning:
Possible Activities/Resources

Explore the pressures on young people to enter into a
sexual relationship.
(Love Matters Year 10 Topic 17, 17a and 17b)
Development of
Thinking Skills and
Personal Capabilities
Self Management
Manage emotions and
behaviour in a range
of situations
Use Worksheets 17A and 17B to stimulate
discussion. Emphasise how it is an individual’s
personal boundaries that are often put to the test in
these situations.
(Love Matters Year 10 Topic 18, 18a and 18b
Use Worksheets 18A and 18B to explore when
emotional boundaries are challenged or compromised
and the impact this can have on a person’s life.
Sexual
relationships
considering the
emotional, social
and moral
consequences of
actions

to explore the emotional,

social and moral
implications of early
sexual intercourse within
both committed and casual
relationships

Consider the reasons for and against having sex
before marriage within both committed and casual
relationships. Categorise the reasons under the three
headings: Emotional, Social and Moral. Clarify ideas
about conception and fertility.
(Love Matters Topic 17, Should I or Shouldn’t I?)
Pupils given scenarios from Agony Aunt problem
pages. Pupils write responses to the problems.
Thinking, Problem
Solving, Decision
Making
Examine options,
weigh up pros and
cons
Make links between
cause and effect
Theme :
Aim :
Relationships and Sexuality
To explore and understand the process of developing and maintaining appropriate, healthy relationships.
Year Sub-theme
10
Implications of
teenage
pregnancy and
parenthood
Suggested Learning Intentions
Pupils are learning:
Possible Activities/Resources


Examine some of the myths around STI’s and what
types of contraception can cut down on their
transmission. Link with Yr 10 Biology
(‘Safe Sex?’ Love Matters Topic 18)

Research Activity:
What are the top 5 STI’s in Northern Ireland. Use
Health Promotion Agency website as a source of
information.
Managing
Information
Select, classify,
compare and evaluate
information
Invite a speaker to come in to talk to the class about
pregnancy. You could invite a parent with relevant
experience. Alternatively, a Midwife/Health Visitor
can be invited.
(Love Matters. Topic 17 Should I Or Shouldn’t I?
Pupil sheet 17c)
Being creative
Learn from and build
on others’
experiences
Making new
connections between
ideas/information

to be aware of the
incidence, types,
transmission and
consequences of STIs
to understand that
pregnancy is a real
consequence of sexual
activity
Complete the conception quiz and explore the myths
about getting pregnant.
Review from Topic 18 the consequences of saying
yes to sex.
Development of
Thinking Skills and
Personal Capabilities
Theme :
Aim :
Relationships and Sexuality
To explore and understand the process of developing and maintaining appropriate, healthy relationships.
Year Sub-theme
Suggested Learning Intentions
Pupils are learning:
Possible Activities/Resources
Development of
Thinking Skills and
Personal Capabilities


Explore the choices available to a pregnant teenager
and the support they would need.
(Love Matters Topic 18 Teenage pregnancy and
Abortion)

Consider:
o How would being pregnant now change your life?
o How would being a parent change your life?
o What is the effect on girls and effect on boys?
Categorise these into physical changes, financial
changes, employment and educational changes,
material changes, social changes and emotional
changes.
Thinking, Problem
Solving, Decision
Making
Examine options,
weigh up pros and
cons

Debate the issues around abortion.
to be aware of the
consequences of teenage
pregnancy and parenthood
Theme :
Aim :
Relationships and Sexuality
To explore and understand the process of developing and maintaining appropriate, healthy relationships.
Year Sub-theme
10
Dealing with
rejection and loss
Suggested Learning Intentions
Pupils are learning:
Possible Activities/Resources
Development of
Thinking Skills and
Personal Capabilities

to recognise their emotions
around rejection

to manage these negative
emotions
 Thought shower the negative emotions surrounding
the ending of relationships. This may be a romantic
relationship or a friendship.
What are the feelings? Why do they occur? What
helps deal with these feelings?
How could some of these negative feelings be
addressed?
Self Management
Manage emotions and
behaviour in a range
of situations

Working With
Others
Understand how
actions and words
affect others

to end relationships while
remaining friends
Consider ways of breaking up with someone that
would reduce feelings of rejection and loss.
How can we develop empathy with the other party in
the break up.
Compare their
approach with others
and in different
contexts
Develop scenarios or role play ending a relationship
sensitively. Practice these in pairs.

to move on positively

Positive Thinking Exercise:
List your qualities, identifying your strengths and
describe how you are a good friend to be with.
Self Management
Be aware of personal
strengths, limitations
and interests