Chapter 1
Rose stared into the mirror. Worried about her appearance, she swept the last of
her lashes with the new mascara she purchased this afternoon. The lashes
looked long and black, accentuating her sapphire blue eyes. She’s always been
complimented on her eyes. Her best feature, next to the natural 36D breasts that
sat supported under her black V-neck sweater.
He’ll be here shortly, she worried to herself. Her first date in almost two years. It
came about so suddenly. Chatting with him online for the past few days was
nice. She met him on a dating website. Safe, she thought to herself. She could
peruse the eligible bachelors from the safety of her desk at work. She didn’t
have to go to a bar, standing there like a side of beef hanging in a butcher’s
window. No drinks bought for her by men with ulterior motives. No unctuous
lines, no leers, no man licking his chops. She could dismiss anyone she didn’t
find interesting or attractive without them even noticing. It was perfect.
She found Scott on this site. The picture was modest. He didn’t have matineeidol looks, nor did his picture look as if it was taken at the police station after an
arrest. It was an unassuming look; no big grin, but no scowl. He had a little
blond girl sitting on his lap. After talking with him, she found out it was his
daughter, Marissa. He’s separated and just getting back into the dating scene
after a self-imposed yearlong hiatus.
She looked at the clock on her bedside table… 10 minutes. He’ll be here in 10
minutes. She started to feel those butterflies in the pit of her stomach. Slightly
giddy with excitement, also slightly terrified. Her last relationship ended abruptly
in a storm of screaming and tears. Was she strong enough to go through this
again? Stop projecting, Rose. It’s just coffee!
Her phone on her bed chirped. NEW TEXT MESSAGE… He’s canceling. He
found out about me, and he’s changing his mind. She looked at the phone
reluctantly. It’s from Scott.
“I’ll be there in a few. U excited?” it said. Excited? I’m terrified!
She hesitated for a moment before responding. Finally, pressing the buttons
slowly and methodically, she replies, “Yes, and a bit nervous”
She put the phone back down on the bed and went back to the mirror. He’s
going to think I’m disgusting. Look at yourself. You’re fat. You have no
business dating. He’s going to take one look at you and know you’re a psychotic
train wreck. How dare you think you might have a chance?!?
The phone chirped again. NEW TEXT MESSAGE. Oh God… he’s going to find
out! Please let him cancel! I can’t go through this! Flipping the phone open and
pressing the button, she read the message. “Don’t be nervous. I’ll make sure
you feel comfortable .” Is he serious? Make me comfortable? The orange
prescription bottle on her bedside table beckoned to her. She picked it up and
put her hand on the cap. But she thought twice about taking that little pill. She
doesn’t want the pretense of medication influencing her mood and most
importantly her ability to decide on how the evening will go. She put the Klonopin
back on the table, but kept her hand on the bottle. Still looking at it, she picks it
up again and puts it in her Kate Spade knock-off. I don’t have to take it, but I can
at least bring it with me.
The phone chirped one more time. NEW TEXT MESSAGE. She flipped the
phone open and pressed the button. “Here”… Now she can feel her heart
beating like a bass drum in her chest. She feels her throat closing up and the
beginnings of an anxiety attack begin to make their presence felt. He’s going to
read it right on my face. No man on this earth wants to date a woman with psych
issues. She glanced one last time in the mirror. It’s just coffee.
She walked out of her bedroom and made it through her small one-bedroom
apartment to the outside to meet him. Scott looked… NORMAL. His 5’8” frame
stood by his dark Audi in the street. She made her way to him and gave him a
hug, which he returned in earnest. Wow, he smells amazing… Her nervousness
was replaced by feelings she hasn’t felt in quite a long time. Her womanness
was awaked by the scent of his aftershave. Her thoughts went from one of fear
that she would be rejected to thoughts of wanting to explore every inch of this
strange man. But that would have to be put aside for now.
“Did you find my place ok?” she asked him after breaking their embrace. The
scent of his aftershave is intoxicating. She could not get it out of her head. She
heard him speaking, but the bouquet was overtaking all of her senses. Would he
think I was insane if I just went down on him right here in the street? Of course,
you jackass… you ARE insane!
They walked back into her apartment. She furiously cleaned it after getting home
from work, and her sweat and labor paid off. It certainly was presentable.
Entering the living room, he surveyed his surroundings. “This place is adorable!
You live alone?”
“Yup, just me,” she chimed back. She’s been in this apartment for two months
now, and rarely has she had anyone over. Not even her best friend, Michelle.
And now she’s got a strange man in her apartment. He looked around, giving the
hint that he wanted a tour. Well, this should only take a minute, why not? she
thought to herself. There really wasn’t much to show. The living room with the
dark hardwood floors housed her meager belongings: a hand-me-down sleeper
sofa underneath the big picture window looking out on the street. An end table
actually belongs to the bedroom set. A low secondhand coffee table she found
on Craig list when she moved in. A space heater that looks like a small fireplace.
Put out a lot of BTUs and aesthetically pleasing. The kitchen is separated from
the living room by a half wall, giving it the feel of a separate room. Large creamcolored ceramic tile lined the floor of the kitchen. Very cold in the morning, a
stark reminder that she really should wear socks more often. The walls were tan,
with beige natural stone tile on the countertops and up the wall in a decorative
but practical backsplash. The stove and fridge are white, and in the corner sat a
small and overused microwave oven. She thanked God she remembered to do
the dishes before he came over. Dirty dishes in her sink were a common
occurrence in this humble abode.
Do I show him the bedroom?
She’s frighteningly nervous as she stood in her kitchen with this man. The
aftershave wafted throughout the common rooms of her apartment. Maybe if he
stands here long enough, it’ll last. I need to find out what he’s wearing! Then
she looked at him, and the anxiety of her first date in a long time began to wane.
He’s standing in front of her looking at her. His glasses are beginning to fog up.
The early April weather lends itself to some funny chemistry. The coolness of the
outside air combined with the heat of her apartment and his own body
temperature caused condensation to appear on the inside of his glasses. He’s
not infallible! She began to chuckle, and he immediately realized why. He
started a nervous laugh of his own. Maybe this won’t be so bad after all, she
thought to herself.
“Before we go any further, I need to know some things about you, Scott,” she
asked him. He’s strange enough, and to allay her trepidation, she felt it was only
fair.
“Ask away,” he replied.
“What’s your last name?”
“McGrath”
“McGrath?” she echoed surprisingly.
“Yup”
“Oh, my God,” she exclaimed. “That’s my mother’s maiden name!”
He smiled and laughed. “It’s a pretty common name”
“I know that. I’m just… it’s weird. Feeling like I’m coming full circle, you know?”
“What’s your last name?” he asked her. Only fair.
“Jameson”
“Ok, no Jamesons in my family,” he grinned.
Next question. “When’s your birthday?”
“July 4th,” he replied.
Another coincidence!!!!!! “Really? My birthday’s kind of a well-known day too.
It’s September 11th.”
“Wow, tough day.”
“Yeah, but it was my birthday before it became 9/11, you know?”
“Understand. I was married on November 22nd.
assassination.”
The anniversary of JFK’s
This went on for a couple of minutes. She thought she was comfortable enough
to head out with him for coffee now. Her anxieties were melting away. He had
this presence about him. She couldn’t quite put her finger on it, but she was just
happy he didn’t seem like a serial rapist… but then Ted Bundy was quite the
charmer too, from what she read.
They exited her apartment and made their way to his Audi parked on the street.
He walked over to the passenger side with her and opened the door. What a
gentleman… does he think he’s going to get some place with me tonight? He
might if he keeps this up. So thankful I shaved my pubic hair before he got here.
She never expected to hook up with anyone, but it didn’t hurt to be prepared just
in case. If it didn’t happen, so what. It’s her body; she can do what she wants
with it. In the back of her mind, she wanted to make out with him right then and
there. In their messaging earlier in the day, she mentioned missing the feeling of
making out in a car with a guy. In the high school sort of way. Just making out,
no sex. The feel of lips on lips, the scent of his breath wafting up her nose. The
heavy breathing and increased body heat causing the windows to fog. But she
had to show restraint. It’s just coffee, Rose. Just coffee.
He was taking her to a place that he knew of in Huntington. She had only been
in the area for two months, and really didn’t know any places in the village to go.
So, she was taking a suggestion of his and hoping it would be nice. More small
talk in the car.
“So where did you go to school?” he asked her.
Ugh, the “school” question. Rose was a stellar student in high school. She didn’t
have to try and study hard at all. She and her friends were at the top of the
class. While her friends went to schools like Harvard and SUNY Albany, she
found it tougher. Her mom, Carole, had gotten cancer in her junior year. And it
took a toll on Rose. She was certainly smart enough to roll with the rest of the
group, but stress at home caused her to lose focus most of the time. Her studies
were fine, but when it came to her future, she froze. So much so that even while
scoring between 1100-1200 in SAT prep, she only scored a 990 on the actual
exam. She psyched herself out and gave herself influenza the night before the
test. She was devastated. SUNY Geneseo was her first choice. But she threw
that away when she received her test scores. Even a guidance counselor, who
is supposed to advocate for students, gave her a stinging dose of reality when
she met him in his office to discuss her future. “You can just forget about any of
the top SUNY schools, Rose. They’ll never accept you with those scores. My
advice is to take the test again, and hope you can make the cut-off date.
Otherwise, maybe you should consider the lesser schools.” It was like being
stabbed in the heart and the back at the same time. How would her friends feel
about her going to a “safe” school? Would they still like her?
It didn’t matter. A failed attempt at going away to school when her mom was sick
nearly crushed those dreams of higher education.
“I graduated from Suffolk Community in 2004, and then won a scholarship to
study engineering at NYIT,” she replied. She didn’t have to divulge her secrets
just then. Only give him the information he needs to know.
“Wow, engineering? You must be smart,” he said, astonished.
“Not really. I was taking calculus based Physics and calculus in the same
semester, and basically cracked.” She didn’t really want to go into it further, but
cracked was a euphemism for COMMITTED.
“No kidding you cracked! I can’t imagine taking that at the same time. I was
terrible at math. A terrible student, actually.”
“Well, we all can’t be talented academically,” she jibed. She knew she was
above the norm. She took and passed the Mensa test in October 2006, after
much prodding from some coworkers. She knew in the back of her mind she
was smart, and when Mensa invited her to be a member of their society, it was
validated. From that moment on, she prided herself in being in the 98th percentile
of all intelligence in the world. And she wasn’t afraid to show it, unless she was
really feeling down on herself. Now wasn’t one of those times. But she didn’t
want to appear cocky either. Humility is key on a first date. First impressions
mean everything, and if a man isn’t happy with whom he’s going out with on the
first date, chances are there won’t be a second one.
“So where are we going?” she asked him.
“Just a place I know of in the village. You said coffee, right? This place is nice.
Classy Coffee. It’s behind Main Street. Very quiet, nice dessert menu and
they’ve got a liquor license.” He smiled and looked at her when he said that.
Liquor license? Just what the doctor ordered. Now she’s really thankful she
didn’t pop that Klonopin before he arrived. She’d be face down in a pool of her
own drool on the table. Definitely a no-no on a first date.
They meandered their way through the village and arrived at their chosen
destination. He parked the car, and she reached for the door to open it.
“Hold it right there. Don’t touch that,” he said.
“Huh? I’m just opening the door!”
“Nope, allow me.”
Wow, what is his deal?!? Doesn’t he realize I’m not worth this?
He casually walked over to the passenger side and opened the door for her. His
smile told her that he was enjoying her company already. But deep down she
couldn’t help but wonder if he had an agenda for the evening. With the way he
smelled, she could give in, if it were to her liking.
The ambience inside Classy Coffee was cozy. There were tables for two laid out
where it was close quarters, but you didn’t feel on top of one another. The
lighting was subdued, but not too dark so that one can’t read the menu. Each
table was set with a candle and a small vase to invoke a sense of romance. It
wasn’t romance she was really looking for at the moment, but the setting did lend
itself to a nice intimate coffee for two.
He led her to a table in the middle of the room. The dessert case was lit and
filled with confections of every sort of taste. Fruit, chocolate, vanilla and
sometimes all three combined into one tasty treat. She glanced over at the case,
but didn’t want to order any dessert. Although she wasn’t the type that couldn’t
eat in front of a man, she didn’t want to overstep her bounds by ordering food
when he just invited her out for coffee.
The waitress came over and offered two menus for them. They both opened
them and looked at the choices.
“It all looks so good. But I’ll just have a coffee.”
“Have whatever you want. It’s my treat,” he smiled at her. His appealing charm
was certainly winning her over.
“I did mention the ‘adult’ coffees, didn’t I?” he asked. Those blue eyes were
smiling brightly behind his glasses. She lingered over the glance. They were
warm and inviting – eyes she hasn’t seen ever in her life.
“I did see that. I don’t know what to order. It all looks so good.”
He pointed at one particular coffee on her menu – the Chocolate Corvette. It
certainly sounded wonderful. Coffee laced with rum and Godiva chocolate
liqueur served in a wine glass with whipped cream and fresh chocolate shavings.
“I think I just made up my mind,” she smiled back.
They put the menus aside, and he reached for her left hand. What on earth is he
doing? I thought this was just coffee. His hand was soft and non-threatening.
She didn’t feel like he was putting moves on her at all, but it was still all so
foreign to her. How could someone this fascinating be interested in HER! She
had to calm herself down quickly, or she was going to ruin the entire evening.
No sooner did she try to talk herself off of the proverbial ledge that the drinks
arrived. They both ordered the same drink, so there was no need to try each
other’s. And not a moment to soon she thought to herself. The alcohol
encompassed her nose as she brought the drink to her lips. The scent of rum
and chocolate and coffee warmed her senses and brought calm about her. Like
enveloping herself in a big fluffy robe after a long bubble bath. She took a long,
but demure sip and savored the flavors as they danced on her tongue. Their
eyes met once again, and she was finally feeling at ease.
“So tell me about where you grew up,” she asked him. She wanted to know all
about him.
“Well, I was born in Bayside, but moved to Massapequa with my parents when I
was just a few months old. And I’ve been there ever since. Well, save for when I
got married and lived in Massapequa Park. But I’ve been there all my life. What
about you?”
“Well, I grew up in the Hamptons. And before you ask, no I wasn’t born with a
silver spoon in my mouth. I worked every summer from age 14. When I got
married, I made the big move to Westhampton Beach.”
“Are you close with your family?” he asked. Great, he’s already getting into the
heavy stuff.
“Well, I’m close with my brother and his wife. I lost my mom to cancer when I
was 18. My dad is still alive, but we’re not close.”
“Oh, I’m sorry to hear that.”
“What about your family?”
“I live with my parents, and they’ve been great since the divorce. So, yeah, I’m
close to them. I also have a brother, and we’re close too.”
“It’s nice to have family there for you. I don’t really have that, but I think it’s
character building. I don’t have anyone to rely on, so I’ve learned to do for
myself a lot. Maybe a bit too much, but that’s subjective, right?”
“Being independent is a very nice quality,” he said with a big grin.
interested. She could tell.
He was
The small talk moved a bit further, but nothing of real substance. She didn’t want
to go into her health issues. It really wasn’t any of his business, actually. Just
because she knew she was crazy didn’t warrant him knowing, especially on a
first date. If he’s meant to know, that’s when she’ll tell him.
They lingered over the spiked coffees and talked and held hands. It was
incredible. In the corner, the TV showed “Good Eats” on the Food Network. It
was one of Rose’s favorite shows.
“I think I have a crush on Alton Brown,” she chuckled, half embarrassed to
mention.
He looked over his shoulder to see what she was watching. “Oh, he’s great. I
love the Food Network. My dad makes fun of me all the time because I’d rather
watch Iron Chef America than anything else.”
“Really? You watch it too? I thought I was the only dork in the world.”
“Oh, so I’m a dork now? That’s great,” he said with a wink.
“Well, that’s not really what I meant. Oh goodness. Sorry.”
“It’s ok. Do you enjoy cooking? Or do you just watch in hopes you can learn to
boil water?”
“Oh, I cook. There’s no doubt about that. I’m at my most peaceful when I’m in
the kitchen. And the bigger the meal the better.” Did I just say ‘peaceful’? Jesus
Christ. You let the cat out of the bag. You’re a fucking moron, Rose. He’s going
to run now.
“There’s something to be said about spending the day in the kitchen creating. I
love it too. I haven’t cooked much lately, especially since moving back home.
Mom takes care of all of that. And with my work schedule, it’s hard when all I
want to do is just relax.”
“I’m sure. It must be a bitch to commute every day.”
“It is. I mean the money’s certainly in the city, not on the Island. So if I have to
travel by train to make that money, I guess I can’t complain.”
“You got that right. I’m working two jobs right now just to make ends meet. I
don’t know if I’d ever work in the city. I haven’t spent too much time there
anyway. I wouldn’t know my way around.”
“Oh, it’s easy. It’s a big grid. You can’t possibly get lost.”
“I doubt that. You don’t know me very well, Scott.”
“I’d like to get to know you better. I like you, Rose.”
Is HE the insane one? He wants to get to know ME?!?
The waitress came by to offer anything else, but they looked at each other. “No,
we’ll just take the check,” Scott told her, never taking his eyes off of Rose. The
waitress came back with the black folder and handed it to Scott. Rose
immediately went to her purse to pay for her half, but he insisted on paying the
tab.
“That’s not necessary. I asked you out, remember?”
“I know, but I’d feel better if I at least covered my end.”
“Please, I insist.”
“Ok. Thank you. This was very nice,” she replied with a genuine smile. She
returned her wallet back to her purse and put it down on the floor. Maybe it was
the rum, but she was feeling very relaxed and at ease in his presence. He wasn’t
nearly the kind of guy she was imagining he would be. One that would jump at
the chance to jump her. He was polite, attentive, and genuinely interested in
what she had to say.
They put on their jackets, and they walked, hand in hand, back to the car. As
they made their way to the passenger side of the Audi, he opened the door for
her. She shot him a look as if to say, “Ok, enough already”. As their eyes met,
he stole a kiss. She was flabbergasted, surprised, amused and willing… all at
the same time. The kiss lingered for a few moments, and then broke. She
looked into his eyes and said in a sexy whisper, “Get in the car.” He smiled and
winked, and walked to his side. As he entered the car and shut the door, she
leaned in this time. The kiss was more to her liking – warm, wet and soft, with a
tiny bit of brazenness thrown in. Their lips remained locked for a few more
moments. As she pulled away, she whispered in his ear, “drive”.