Name: Alexina Federhen
Stand Up and Speak Out Against Bullying
Every child wants to be accepted and respected by their peers. Every child deserves to feel safe and free from
fear in school or on their computer. Unfortunately, this is not the case for many children. Bullying is prevalent in our
schools and on social media and has a devastating effect on the emotional and physical well-being of our youth.
During my elementary and middle school years I was a victim of bullying. My mother, a single parent who
experienced periods of unemployment and under-employment, worked hard in order for me to live in a good
neighborhood and attend the elementary school with the best academic record. But, I was never accepted by the
children of the wealthy families who lived in this school district. I was not invited to birthday parties, selected for
sports teams, or invited to play dates, and was ignored in the lunch room. In first grade, the mother of a girl I had
become friends with told my mother I was not on her list of ‘acceptable friends’ for her daughter. One friend; Sabrina,
transferred into our school from Texas and spent every afternoon and weekend with me while her grandmother
worked. She had come from an unsafe environment, having been molested by her father, to live with her grandmother
and because of this - she and I were not welcome in the homes of our classmates because we might introduce
unpleasantness into their lives.
As a late reader, I was frequently called names. My pediatrician explained that my reading delay was the
result of my cross dominance (right-handed, left footed), so it would take longer for me to develop the synapses
necessary to coordinate both halves of my brain for high motor functions, like reading. I caught up by the end of
elementary school and have excelled in middle and high school. But, because relentless bullying diminishes self
image and confidence there is always a lingering doubt about whether I am really smart, or just a good faker, even
though I have maintained straight A’s since the 7th grade.
The bullying continued throughout middle school, culminating in an incident where I was choked, slammed
into a wall, and thrown on the floor, semi-conscious, by a male student I hardly knew. I had done nothing to provoke
the attack. I was simply one of a group of giggling girls who represented a stereotype of a ‘popular’ student to a boy
who felt like an outcast himself. He did not realize I would be the one person who could truly understand how he felt
about being bullied – he lashed out and I was his target. No one is immune to being bullied. Those who are perceived
as popular, thin, attractive, or successful students are as much a target as those who are perceived as different –
overweight, too thin, too tall, too short, or physically or learning disabled.
In middle school, I was selected to participate in a ‘Girl’s Empowerment Group.’ This group brought
together all types of girls for meetings twice a week. We discussed our issues and concerns, shared our experiences,
goals and fears, and learned we had more in common than we had realized. This decreased the incidences of drama
and bullying within our group as we came to know and respect each other. I am working with the teacher who ran the
group and we are in the process of reinitiating the ‘Girls Empowerment Group’ in the middle school for next fall. My
goal is to expand the group to all three grades and include groups for boys as well. If this pilot program is successful, I
plan to introduce the groups to other schools in Vermont.
Last year, I was appointed by the Vermont Secretary of Education to serve on the ‘Hazing, Harassment and
Bullying Prevention Council’. The student representatives provided first-hand information on the prevalence and
impact of bullying in the schools. We met once a month to discuss the initiatives to educate teachers and
administrators on what steps can be taken to intervene effectively. Nothing was done about the boy who attacked me.
Lack of adult intervention and follow-though is a major factor in why most victims do not report bullying. I am also
working with StopBullying.org to promote bullying prevention. My photo essay has twice been their Facebook cover
photo.
In 2010, 2.7 million students were bullied according to the Bullying Statistics.org website. By 2011, one out
of every 4 teens reported being bullied, 160,000 students stayed home from school every day because they were afraid
of being bullied, and 282,000 students were physically attacked in secondary schools every month. Elementary school
children are bullied on the playground every 7 minutes. Their peers intervened in 11% of those bullying incidents.
Adults intervened in only 4% of the incidents, but, 85% of the time, no one stepped in to help the victim! In the past 2
years, 4 teenage girls committed suicide as a direct result of being bullied. This has to stop!
As Miss Vermont’s Outstanding Teen 2014, I will seek to reduce the incidences of bullying through several
initiatives. These include educating teachers to recognize the signs and symptoms of bullying and give them strategies
for intervention, as well as provide safe forums for students to express their concerns, encouraging safe peer
intervention, and encouraging respect, rather than contempt, for our differences.
It is time for all of us to Stand Up and Speak Out Against Bullying!
Alexina Federhen 3/18/2014