The Healing Codes and The Success Codes
Thursday Night Q&A
09.14.06
Tom Costello
Good evening. My name is Tom Costello. On behalf of Dr. Alex Loyd Services, LLC
and The Healing Codes Family I would like to welcome you to the Healing Codes
Question and Answer teleconference. Today in the United States it is September 14,
2006. Everything on this call is being recorded. The recording will be available for free
download on our web site thehealingcodes.com.
Tonight’s Q&A session has several purposes, the most important of which is to help and
otherwise encourage Healing Codes clients to do The Healing Codes. That way you can
get the benefits you are interested in. We encourage success stories from people who
have gained from the Codes tonight on the call. We also encourage you, if you have a
question about using the Codes in a given situation or something that is not clear, that
you bring that up as well. If there is anything slowing down your progress, we would
like to shift that.
The questions you ask oftentimes serve many more people than just you. People who are
not on this call have an opportunity to value and benefit from your questions.
Before we continue I’d like to read our standard disclaimer:
The Healing Codes are for informational and educational purposes only and are for
unlocking the issues of the heart. They are not intended to diagnose or treat any disease
or mental condition. The body heals itself. The Healing Codes is a spiritual approach to
heal the issues of the heart. We believe that the spiritual approach to happiness and
fulfillment is the one that makes the most sense and that’s the one to which The Healing
Codes is devoted.
I’d like to add in that my opinions are my opinion. I noticed on CD’s nowadays SONY
and whoever else is putting out the CD disclaims any support for the views expressed on
it. I’m the guy disclaiming my own views. My opinions are my opinions.
Kevin, please explain how to get into the queue.
Kevin gives technical directions.
Tom Costello: There are some housekeeping items. Several weeks ago on this call we
discussed having a way to hold the positions for 30 seconds, be alerted to the fact that 30
seconds is up, move to the next position for 30 seconds until that time is up and so on.
One of our coaches from New Jersey, Murray Tanz was kind enough to create an MP3
file that is free for you to download from our web site thehealingcodes.com It is in the
Client Section. It is also on the front page, bottom left. You can click on that link,
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download it. Then you can play in on your computer, load it to an Ipod or even burn it to
a CD and play it in an MP3 player. What you will hear is 30 seconds of silence followed
by a short chime; 30 seconds of silence followed by a chime; 30 seconds of silence,
chime and so on. This goes on for about 15 minutes. That may be a lovely way for you
to not bother paying attention to a timer. You will be able to see that on The Healing
Codes website.
The second thing is that a week ago or two weeks ago a couple of people from the middle
of the country and perhaps Canada wanted to know when there was going to be a live
seminar. I’m here to tell you that there is one scheduled for Saturday and Sunday,
September 30 and October 1 in Toronto. Alex and Ben will be there. There is a $10 door
charge which will be a donation to Dr. Ben’s Cancer Foundation. If you want more
details about that, it is at the Ramada Hotel, Toronto airport, Sept. 30 and Oct. 1,
Saturday and Sunday.
Participant: (Patricia) I was looking in the back of the manual for some things. One of
them is depression. It said that Kindness was the Code for that. I looked in the Kindness
section and it didn’t have depression listed. Depression was listed under the Joy section.
I’m just wondering which to use.
Tom Costello: When you read through those two sections in the interior of the manual,
did you do that?
Participant: I read on the first page where it says what it addresses. The Joy section says
sadness, depression, feeling inferior. The Kindness one is more central nervous
system/brain things which could also be that. I wasn’t quite clear how to tell.
Tom Costello: You should do the Joy. What you want to be able to do is to look at that
(I will make a note to check if that is a misprint.) Obviously there are multiple issues that
can impact any single thing. I think it probably ought to be narrowed down to one, or if it
has both, they both should show up in the problem reference chart as page numbers.
Page 77/95 sort of thing. You would want to do Joy and focus on that.
Participant: Also, if you are doing Codes for someone, like a distance Code and you
have more than one person you’d like to do them for, does it work to do two people at
once?
Tom Costello: What you’ll want to do is connect to them. They way you connect to
them is in the prayer/request, make mention of them. We’ll say Sally and John. Say it’s
for Sally and John that you are interested in healing all the issues. In your truth focus
statement…. That truth focus statement is more than just a set of words, it is a visual
image. It is a sensory experience. You can feel it in your body. Let’s say Sally and
John, one had to overcome a broken toe and the other a broken finger. You would want
to see and feel them, the one with the broken toe moving around with tremendous
mobility, no limitation on their ability to walk and dance and enjoy themselves; and the
one with the broken finger you would want to see them able to reach for what life has to
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offer and be willing to grab it instead of holding back like someone with a sore finger.
That’s how you want to do that. It is more than just the words, it is the visual image of
them including the feelings that you can muster that sees them in the ideal condition.
Participant: Okay, thank you. One other question, you were talking about the seminar.
Is that something that people who have the Codes would be helped in going to? Is it just
something to tell about the Codes?
Tom Costello: This is mainly to tell about the Codes, however, the reality of it is that
when like-minded people gather together, everybody seems to benefit. There is a raising
of the vibrations. Unless you’ve seen Alex and Ben face-to-face and said “Hello” to
them and shook their hands or have seen other people who are listening, you may be
missing out on something. It is kind of a cool experience.
Participant: Can those seminars be listed on the web site when they happen?
Tom Costello: Yes, actually and that’s just poor organization on our part. That’s good
advice and that will be done now.
Participant: (E) I have a little problem. I have done all the 12 and all of phase 2 every
single day and I understood Dr. Loyd to say, when you are doing the Codes your mind
should be on healing or peace or love or gratitude. My mind is going a mile a minute on
what was in the problems of the Code, which I may have had more than one of and have
difficulty deciding which is the worst, or else I’m trying very hard to pray for something I
want really badly to take place for that. I have a terrible time calming it. I feel like I’m
missing out on something because of this, that it’s not working.
Tom Costello: Your question is really very, very important to lots and lots of people. Let
me explain it this way. First of all, relax. You are getting benefit. If you have your
fingers pointing at those healing centers, you are benefiting. That takes that pressure off.
It is pretty well understood and accepted by most people who are familiar with it that the
law of attraction works like gravity. What we put our attention on is what we will attract
more of. The ideal scene is to put our attention on what we want and what we like.
Because, then we will get more of what we want and what we like. We have developed
all kinds of processes as individuals, as human beings, from our earliest ages about how
to deal with life. We are looking to develop rules of life so that we can be happy and
protect ourselves and so on. That process begins at very early ages. What’s going to
happen is now all of a sudden you put your attention on what you want and what you
like. It is currently not in your experience. You currently don’t have it. I’ll just use a
brand new red car as an example of what you want and what you like.
All the thoughts, fears, doubts, beliefs, pictures and ways of thinking that we have
developed over the years to “protect ourselves” will come up and say stuff like, “You
don’t want that car. Something could happen to it. It could rust. It could scratch. There
is more insurance on it. I want to protect you, don’t have that car.” It goes on and on and
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on trying to keep us away from things we currently don’t have; love, health,
relationships, financial abundance, homes, cars, peace of mind, that sort of thing. It
wants to “protect” us. Of course, if you have a car there are some down sides. These are
the fears that seem to be built into it. If you have a brand new car it could get dirty. It
could get scratched. People will think you are uppity. On and on…. All those fears are
trying to “protect you”.
As you do The Healing Codes and put your attention on how wonderful it would be in
that red car; brand new car, smells so good, real reliable, no more worries about breaking
down. These doubts come out of the woodwork. “Don’t have that car. What will the
neighbors think?” Stop that thought right in the middle of the screen of your mind and
observe it. As those thoughts try to run across your mind, stop them and observe. You
will hear, discover, see, know that statement will have come from early childhood. It will
have come, not from you but, from someone you overheard or someone who said
something to you. “Who do you think you are?” category of criticism. When you put
your attention on that and just observe it you don’t have to fight it or run away from it.
Curious. You want to discover what it means. It will shift.
It will go “poof”, much like the shadow when you turn on the light. No more shadow.
Then focus back on what you want and what you like, in this case the red, brand new car.
Another doubt will come out of the woodwork. You will stop it and observe it.
You want to make sure you have had plenty of water. You are hydrated. You are
breathing big belly breaths, with the belly going in and out. That’s the best kind of
breathing. You will notice that it becomes easier and those doubts become less and less
frequent over time.
Not to worry. Even with those scurrying thoughts and the real busy mind, you are still
benefiting from the finger tips pointed at the healing centers.
Sometimes people say they don’t want to look at those thoughts. “They will upset me. I
don’t want to look at them.” Looking at them is to heal them. They are not coming up to
disturb you. They are coming up because they are leaving. Your observation of them
makes them leave that much faster.
Does that make sense to you?
Participant: Yes. That makes really good sense, but that’s not quite what I find myself
doing. I find my mind all of a sudden, after having spent all this time in focusing on what
I do want in sort of a prayer form. Instead of a quiet mind to let whatever is in there
dissipate. I understood it would just go away if I could keep calm. I cannot seem to keep
a mind that is calm.
Tom Costello: Trying to force your mind to be calm is not a workable approach. That’s
like herding cats.
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Participant: I’m not being lost because of it? Will I ever get a quiet mind to make these
work? Do they work better with a quiet mind or is it okay to have all these?
Tom Costello: It’s okay to have them. They will naturally change over time. Some days
will be different than others. Here is another approach.
I find this helpful if I am still in my mind working when it is time for bed. I get in bed
and my mind is clicking quickly through the bzillion things I could be doing at my desk.
I start breathing and observing my body; what my toes feel like, what my ankles feel like,
my calves, my knees and so on. I pay attention to my body. Now my mind isn’t running
the show so much. I am observing my body.
Participant: I could do this while doing the Codes?
Tom Costello: Yes, you could.
Participant: That would be better than this flitting mind that is praying for all kinds of
things to take place that aren’t taking place right at the moment.
Tom Costello: You can just put your attention on what you want and know that you have
planted the seed. You don’t cause it to happen above and beyond deciding that you want
it, seeing it clearly and then being positively expectant. The Universe, God, the magic of
what we have in this world causes all this stuff to occur.
You can’t digest your sandwich, intellectually. You can’t make a plant grow. You can’t
do most of the things that are happening in and around you. Just know that it is
happening. You can direct that energy through your intention and your attention. You
can relax with it and know that your prayers can be answered. If you can be in a positive,
expectant place, it is easier to be answered.
Participant: Okay. Thank you very much.
Participant: (Sally) I have a question regarding The Success Codes. How do you send
it to someone else?
Tom Costello: Essentially the same way. In this case you would have a sense of what
their problem is. The problem will be a little bit more specific than not having enough
money. You’d want to be in tune with a greater degree with what is blocking them. You
would do The Success Codes. Include them in your prayer/request and focus. At the end
of it, say, “I release this in love to John (or whomever).” You would have already locked
into their energy by thinking of them in a prayer/request and the focus. You are
connected to them.
Participant: I have a grandchild who is very hyper. He doesn’t talk. He is three years
old and he doesn’t talk. He just kind of screams to get attention and then uses body
language. What would you do for speech?
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Tom Costello: I would say the central nervous system. Do you have The Healing Codes
or The Success Codes?
Participant: We have The Healing Codes book, but Alex Loyd told us about The
Success Codes.
Tom Costello: For the child I would use the central nervous system. I would make every
effort to calmly speak to this child. Model the patient, slow tempo conversation so the
sense of safety and being cared for will increase. Even if the house is perfectly safe and
calm, the sound of a voice does wonders for a child. Unborn children, for that matter
benefit. If anybody out there is pregnant or thinking of becoming pregnant, that is
tremendously valuable.
Participant: How about a baby that had a hard delivery. Would that be the same, central
nervous system?
Tom Costello: Was the baby delivered with forceps or something?
Participant: It was born with the cord around the neck and arm with long labor.
Tom Costello: This for sure is my opinion. This is outside the realm of typical Healing
Codes. Recognize an unborn child with a cord around its neck is an indication of lack of
oxygen. That’s the fear of lack of oxygen going into that baby. Is the one that screams
the one with the hard delivery?
Participant: No. He had a pretty hard delivery too, and was two weeks overdue.
Tom Costello: So, that hard delivery… Some years ago, not that many, unfortunately,
doctors believed that infants did not feel any pain until a few days after their birth. Of
course, their treatment was, “this thing can’t feel anything. No big deal!” It turns out to
be totally untrue. Babies in utero can perceive loud noises, heat, cold, fear and so on and
so forth. A child that is going through a very difficult delivery --- imagine being a fly on
the wall and hear what is going on. Know what the mother is feeling and the fears
involved with that. The baby is subjected to all those hormones, all those fears, every
conversation going on in the delivery room from doctors and nurses and mothers and
“breathe” and “push” and this and that. Everybody’s fears and terror are splashing all
over that baby. To think that doesn’t have an impact on that baby is…. It’s impossible to
overlook that nowadays.
That baby has got to be spoken to, encouraged. I would literally explain to that infant
what occurred, what it was like, as if you were talking to an adult. Describe it as
scientifically, as detailed as you could. Say this is what happened. I understand that you
were afraid. It’s logical and normal for you to have been afraid. We wanted you so
much to be born. We were so concerned. We were so eager for you to be out here with
us so we could love you. We were afraid that we were going to loose you. I would do
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that on a daily basis for a week or 10 days or something. Just so that all your fears (if
you’re the mother), all the energy that you’ve got stored around that will move out of
your body. It will help that baby as well.
Participant: Okay. Thanks a lot that was interesting.
Participant: (Dagmar) My questions relates to what “E” was talking about. I noticed
that when I do my prayer I’m very clear on what the issue is. I even have a picture of it.
Then, when I get to doing the Codes, most of the time I’m pretty clear and stay on the
Truth Focus Statement that either I make or use from the manual. Then sometimes I
notice that the picture would come in or different things would come in that clearly don’t
feel good. My question: Is it sort of like you are sitting in front of a kind, witnessing
person who is listening to you. You may be crying or you may be talking about
something painful, but it is a good thing. Is holding the position of the hands sort of like
when pictures, thoughts or feelings related to the subject they are showing me stuff about
the particular issue? Say I’m working on a wrong belief, I’m spiraling and seeing many,
many elements of that belief and how it has affected my life. Is it sort of like sitting in
front of a kind, kind, witnessing person so that I can just let those things move through. I
don’t have to force my mind to switch back to the Truth Focus Statement.
Tom Costello: I understand what you are saying. You expressed it beautifully. That’s
exactly it. Those thoughts are essentially unavailable to a really stressed person. They
are operational, but you can’t find them. Now, to have them come up because you are
relaxed and nonjudgmental and in a certain energetic space of peace that allows
information to be presented that under stress cannot happen.
Participant: I notice that it is a very different. There are some times when I really hit a
core belief that I was not aware of. It just started to resonate. I thought, “Oh, my God,
that’s been in there?” Then I noticed in real life when I experience grief, it’s a certain
kind of tears that I’m familiar with, but sometimes even while I’m doing the Code I will
start to cry just lying there. I like to lie down instead of sitting, that makes me feel like
it’s God’s hands that are on my head and I’m just lying there. I find that I do have tears,
but my eyes do not get red and I’m not all drained afterwards. I kind of let them go. I’m
trying to find my way inside this territory. Trying to find how deep I can trust that
whatever comes up is part of the healing and part of things moving on the way out. I
don’t want to be implanting images deeper. What is that fine balance between allowing
myself to go where it’s leading me in the moment, but also not spiraling into another
belief.
Tom Costello: I think you’ve expressed that teriffically and very clearly. To me the
difference in the tears; a tear of grief is a tear of loss. If I lost something, “I should have,
I could have, I would have, but I didn’t.” Those kinds of things. The death of somebody
important or that sort of thing. What you are describing to me (the way I heard it) are
what I call tears of healing. It is the movement of energy in the body. It is a release and
a relief. That is exactly what we want when this energy moves that we have blocked for
whatever reason based on whatever level of awareness we had when it occurred. Now it
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starts to move. In my experience there is a feeling of almost cleanliness, lightness. I
think lightness is the word. That’s clear for me.
Participant: What I am trying to fish around for in myself in going through this
experience is the distinction between the…. When I first did the Codes I didn’t do any
thought processes. I just experienced the positions to see what that feeling was without
me having any thoughts about it. I notice that every time, within a few seconds of doing
any position, I would literally feel like my whole heart area relaxed and was relieved.
Like a tangible, like my nervous system kind of warmed up. There was warmth. Like
when a dog is lying down and just exhales big. That was the feeling I experienced. I still
have the same sensation when I bring more conscious thought about the matter, when I
am breaking down my beliefs and all that. I notice that the fine way you are describing
the difference between grief and relief, I can’t quite make that differentiation when I feel
overwhelmed with tears. Inside the relief there is also a sense of loss. A sense of loss
about even letting the belief go. It feels like the belief itself was so attached to me that
even though it doesn’t serve me, there is an empty space. A space that opened up
suddenly. Do I just go with that, let that be? Is there something you could tell me that I
could hold? Some thought that I could hold that would allow that to move through?
Tom Costello: I’m not sure if there is one thought, but let me say… I say to people, “we
are cleaning the closet and we are restocking it.” The beliefs that we have accumulated;
those that were given to us who knows when and how often, and the ones that we have
collected on our own thinking they were valuable. As it turns out we wish we’d never
grabbed hold of them. As they move out, what we want to do is restock that. That is
really the Truth Focus Statement end of the process.
One of the other things that you said, Dagmar, is the possibility of creating new beliefs,
maybe undesired beliefs. I think that is not going to happen for this reason. If we notice
that these negative, disempowering, erroneous beliefs about us and the life works it is
because there is a perception of lack of energy. I describe this in my Superman model. If
you and I were standing on one side of a door and on the other side was a saber toothed
tiger. I look at you and you look at me. You’re wearing your Superwoman outfit. I have
my Superman outfit. We would not go into stress. We wouldn’t perceive that we didn’t
have the strength, skill, speed, and all to deal with this. We would know what to do. We
would want to take care of that cat, fly it to the zoo to protect it and the neighbors.
Now In real life if you and I were on one side of the door and a saber toothed tiger
growled on the other side, we would go, Uh-oh. We’d be worried about protecting us,
our families and so on. We would perceive that we didn’t have what it takes to handle
the situation. As we do The Healing Codes, more energy is going back into the healing
centers for recycling through the body. That says to me the body is getting plenty of
water and oxygen. Those indicate that stress is not a problem. This energy is reaching
them as well. The cells in the body now have oxygen, water and energy. That is not an
indication of stress. Cellularly, each cell of the body is going, “Things are really good.
This is really good.” You are functioning at an optimum level. You are thinking better.
Your brain is engaged. Your reactive behavior is disengaged because you are not under
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stress. The beliefs that you can perceive, your thoughts and higher cognitive thinking is
so much sharper, you are literally smarter than you were 15 minutes ago when you were
really stressed. So, I think to have all that going right and then, “Let’s see if I can come
up with a really bad belief that doesn’t serve me.”
**Participant: You did it. (Laughter) You soothed my anxiety. Excellent bed-side
manner.
Just as you were talking, I’m grasping what you are saying. Of course. I have complete
evidence of that. I notice that in my personal life there are huge changes from these
Codes. One that is particularly striking is that recently I’ve had a huge breakup in a 5year relationship. It’s only 6 days afterwards. This is unprecedented in my life that I
could, first of all, be talking, and be examining my life and feeling great bursts of hope
and joy and life. I know it’s because there is a sense of “cellular safety” from having
done the Codes and being incredibly well hydrated and oxygenated. A huge part of my
life is drinking at least a gallon of water every day. I find that when I slow down on that
everything doesn’t flow as smoothly internally.
What you are saying now makes complete sense. Why would I, in this state, be creating
beliefs that don’t serve me?
Tom Costello: If you want to be a mad scientist, you can’t do The Healing Codes.
Participant: There goes that idea. I’ve wanted to be a mad scientist since I was a little
girl.
Both my cat and I often (which I know is no coincidence) are in need of the same Code.
She kind of comes around for most of them. She’s not that interested in the Codes that
have to do with forgiveness or wrong beliefs. A lot of the others she comes around for.
All I do is include her in my prayer statement and at the end of each Code I put my hands
on her and release the healing to her?
Tom Costello: Because your cat is right there you can put your hands on her and state
that you release the Code to her.
Participant: If she’s not there?
Tom Costello: You can still do it. You will see her in your mind’s eye.
Participant: I could release it to my cat and to my father if it happens to be the same
Code?
Tom Costello: You can do any Code and release it to any one or multiple of others.
Every Code is going to be helpful for reduction of stress in the body. There is no way
that is going to be bad for a person.
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Participant: If she is not interested in the Unforgiveness Code, I could still release it to
the cat while I’m doing it. It will also serve her.
Tom Costello: That’s funny, as you are describing that the cat is not interested in
Unforgiveness. That sounds like a cat to me, right?
Participant: She doesn’t seem to hold much grudge against me. No matter what my
mood, she always loves me.
Tom Costello: I’m looking at my toy poodle and she’s the same way.
Participant: She understands. Thank you, Tom.
Participant: (Sandy) I was interested in more details about the seminar. It’s Saturday
and Sunday, which sounds like a lot of time. Do you have the approximate starting times
or know how many hours of material will be covered?
Tom Costello: I had a flyer a minute ago. It starts at 1 p.m. with a showing of “The
Secret” followed by a live seminar with Alex and Ben. It starts Saturday at 1 p.m.
Probably on Sunday it’s 1-5 or 12-4 or thereabouts.
Participant: Do you have an idea what they might cover on Sunday?
Tom Costello: I don’t. You will see “The Secret” and then discussion of what The
Healing Codes are and so forth. It will be a presentation largely to a group of people who
are being exposed to The Healing Codes for the very first time.
Participant: How do they advertise something like that?
Tom Costello: This was put together by two women in the Toronto area that had The
Healing Codes and wanted to promote it. They said they could put a bunch of people in
seats. If they could would Dr. Alex and Dr. Ben come and present. They happened to be
free that weekend and the answer was yes. That’s how that worked.
Participant: I’m interested in knowing more about the process for becoming a Healing
Coach and what that training involves. Is done primarily by correspondence course
work? Is part of it a live seminar?
Tom Costello: It is mostly self-study and mentoring and conference calls on Saturdays.
Let me describe it. For those of you who are interested in the Practitioner’s training, we
just this week have finished revising it. It will go into production probably Monday or
Tuesday. It will be available for order. On our web site, on the left hand side, you will
see a link for Practitioner’s Training. I asked for a few more links to be put on it today.
There is an application form. There is discussion of what certification is involved, what
you would have to do, what is expected, on and on. You could download those pdf files,
print them out and read through at your leisure.
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It consists of a binder of material, CD’s, live conference calls as a group, one-on-one with
mentoring after a period of time. Then you will be practicing on friends, family, whoever
you could get as a “client”. We generally think it will take 6 or more months. It is about
$4000. You could take a look at that link sometime tomorrow. You will be able to
download that information.
Participant: You have people then, that become Health Coaches to help people who buy
the product through you.
Tom Costello: Yes. Currently, some of our packages are offered with coaching included.
In that case a Certified Healing Codes Practitioner would be assigned to work with that
client for up to 8 contacts after they have done the 12 days. Sometimes The Healing
Codes packages are sold without coaching. In that case a person would get the
information, read it, pay attention and do it on their own. They could certainly come to
these Thursday night calls. They wouldn’t have one-on-one with a Healing Codes
Practitioner.
Participant: Once you would have completed this training that you mentioned, then you
would do an application process to be a Certified Healing Coach?
Tom Costello: No, you could be certified at the end of going through that. Certification
means that you could create custom Codes for clients. You would do that for your own
clients. We don’t promise clients to people who undergo this training. If we at some
point in the future offered clients to you, you could accept or decline them. You
wouldn’t want to make this buying decision based on The Healing Codes people giving
you clients.
Participant: So some people would take the training for use just with their own circle of
influence and some would take it….
Tom Costello: Exactly. Some people have their own client base: chiropractors, licensed
massage therapists, nutritionists, MD’s, nurses. You could provide those Codes to your
own clients. You could charge them nothing, or anything you wanted to charge.
Participant: Okay, that’s helpful. I just recently completed my first 12 days. I started
over on the 12 days. I was looking at the little booklet, the pocket guide. I used the CD’s
on the first 12 days. I had the longer times for each of the hand positions. I was just
looking at the pocket guide and it said we should use the 30-second changes for the first
12 days. I feel like I did it wrong.
Tom Costello: That’s a good thing to do a Code on. On these calls I sometimes spend a
lot of time on that. It is a big challenge. We are so conditioned from our upbringing,
church experience, and certainly school experiences that there is only one right answer to
every question. All of us who survived that realize that is not necessarily true. A lot of it
is determined by context. There is no wrong way to do The Healing Codes. For a couple
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of years we used the longer periods at each healing center, and then there was a shift.
Alex felt that people seemed to be benefiting more from 30-second positions. At first a
bunch of people, myself included, thought that was too distracting. I wanted to put my
fingers in a position and relax and wherever I go I go. After a period of time I realize I
like the 30-seconds because I can feel the energy more in my fingers as I move them
from one position to the next. There is no wrong. You get a 100% on the test score no
matter which way you do it.
You’ll have a chance to try it now with the 30 seconds. You may decide you like the
other way better.
Participant: I can just do the 30-second method the second round? Okay. You said that
some people feel the energy more in their fingers doing the 30-second changes. I had a
chiropractor one time who put his fingers in a position in front of him to show how you
can feel the energy there. One of the things that occurred to me is if I’m doing the Codes
and am holding the position, if I move my fingers in and out, I really can feel the energy.
Would that be an okay way to do it?
Tom Costello: I’m not certain, Sandy, that I’m visualizing the movement of your hands.
If your finger tips are pointed at the healing centers, getting closer and further away, like
your finger tips are moving closer to the healing centers, that’s perfectly good. Moving
in a slight circle around them is an option. Tell me how your fingers would be moving.
Participant: Just ¼ inch further away and then back to toward the center. I can feel a
tingle kind of feeling in my fingertips when I do it that way.
Tom Costello: I would encourage you to go looking for feelings in your body as well.
You are noticing the feeling in your fingers, now look in the rest of your body. You
know that is occurring in your hands and the healing centers. Now scan the rest of your
body from the top of your head to the bottoms of your feet. Pay attention to anything else
that you may be feeling. You may be able to feel energy moving there as well.
Participant: Is this particularly something that has been discussed in relationship to this.
You mentioned doing small circles. Are those…
Tom Costello: Human nature being what it is, we are going to want to experiment with a
whole bunch of things. Moving fingers is one of them. There is no need to do that. If
you are so inclined and you like it, good.
I had a gentleman on this call one night. He said he really, really loved The Healing
Codes. He loved how he was doing them. It seems to me he was 65 – 68 years old. He
said, “I bounce on a rebounder as I do The Healing Codes.” That was a really different
position. He is bouncing on the mini-trampoline as he did The Healing Codes. He said it
is so great. He loved how it feels and how the energy moves.
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The rebounder itself is a great exercise device. It is great for moving the lymph and
blood throughout the body. It improves circulation, improves oxygenation. He was able
to do The Healing Codes simultaneously. I personally would be a little concerned about
loosing my focus and bouncing off of it.
Participant: Interesting. I did that separately today. I did do the rebounder today.
Tom Costello: Now you can really experiment tomorrow.
Participant: I can try them together.
Tom Costello: Wrap yourself in bubble wrap so that if you loose focus and fall down,
nothing will get hurt.
Participant: This is all very helpful.
Lull in questions.
Tom Costello: I’ll have a five minute class on a relationship model. Let’s see if I can do
this in 4 minutes. I call it Little Circle, Big Circle, Equal Circle.
Little Circle, Big Circle, Equal Circle. It is a convenient and helpful way to see how we
relate to other people and other things.
If you are in the United States or Canada and you drew a circle about the size of a dime,
it’s about the diameter of a small finger. That is a Little Circle. When we are first born
we are starting to establish an identity. One of the first things that is perceived is this
recognition that we are separate from other people, now. Relatively speaking we are
small and they are big.
. Part of the perception is “I’m weak, they are strong.” Part of that perception is, “If my
needs are going to be met, somebody else has got to meet my needs.” That position in an
adult is basically a position of being a victim. “I can’t do it. It’s too hard.” The Little
Circle sees themselves as small relative to tasks, “That job is too complicated for me.
That’s too far to walk. That’s too….” Secondarily, it is unpleasant to be there. It may
work short time to get our needs met: get fed, diapers changed, picked up, lifted out of
the crib and stuff. Over time it is not workable.
A Big Circle would be about the size of a quarter, the diameter of a large thumb. What
happens next is what we call adolescence. Those of us who are parents or have been
around children know terrible twos and terrible threes. It is when they are starting to
break out of that dependence. It reverses. Instead of the child being in the Little Circle,
and the parent in the Big Circle. It flip-flops; the parent is in the Little Circle and the
child in the Big Circle. The Big Circle takes this attitude: they are very resistant. “No”
becomes the best word in their vocabulary. They fight or argue or debate what is going
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on. They don’t really have a point of view except they are against whatever one
everybody else may have, especially an authority figure.
I’ve had situations where parents have come to me and said, “We can’t do anything with
Johnny. We can’t control him. He won’t take out the garbage; won’t do homework. He
won’t stay away from those friends we know are real bad influences. He won’t come
home on time. He won’t do this and that and won’t study.” This is what happens to a
small child. They make this erroneous decision. “Ah ha, I got it. The name of this game
is control. Either they control me or I control them.” Once that becomes the game the
battle in families, relationships, or business tends to be a battle for control.
The ideal scene is this: somebody introduces the concept of respect. Instead of making
the other person wrong, they begin to listen to the other person and realize they have a
good point. It may be the child who arrives at that conclusion or it may be the parent.
Now the third stage comes called Equal Circle.
Take a circle twice as big as a quarter, like a silver dollar or something, about 1 ½ or 2
inches in diameter. That is the Equal Circle. They are equal and they are larger because
in that scenario there is cooperation. There is a combination of energy. You can turn to
that other person, mother, father or son or daughter and ask for help. You can do that
with a spouse or with a coworker. Now you have access to your own energy and their
energy.
Let me go back to the Little Circle. Little Circle can be victim-hood. It is an under
appreciation of one’s abilities. It is an over estimation of risk. “It’s too hard. It’s too
dangerous. It could never happen. It’s too this or that.”
The Big Circle does the opposite. It underestimates risk. This is what a teenager in a big
circle would say: “I’m just a natural driver. I may only be 15 years old, but I can drink a
6 pack of beer and drive down a windy country road at 60-80 miles an hours. I’m a
natural.” It is that kid whose death is marked by a cross on the side of the road. He
under estimated the risk. They drink. They do drugs. Unsafe sex. All of those
behaviors where they don’t perceive the risk or they think it is totally not a problem.
Equal Circle is more like: “That behavior is possibly dangerous, possibly fun. There is
no real up side.” They can get to a place where their decision making is much better.
The reason is the first two, the Little Circle and Big Circle are both fear. They are
opposite sides of the same coin.
It’s like a ping-pong. “Now I’m afraid. I’m intimidated.” Then I get angry. Then I
regret having yelled. I go back into the Little Circle. Then I get angry. They ping-pong
back and forth between those two things. The place you want to get to is an Equal Circle.
It is respectful, loving and compassionate, not only of ourselves but of other people.
When you are faced with some pictures that pop up doing The Healing Codes, or you
have encounters during the day, you’ll notice with a little bit of practice that you can feel
yourself shrink. That’s the Little Circle. You may notice yourself getting puffed up like
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you really want to fight. That’s the Big Circle. Think of an animal that fluffs up its
feathers or hunches up its back trying to scare off a threat. That’s the Big Circle.
That model is very helpful. You will notice other people’s behaviors. When you start to
notice their behaviors, you don’t have to go into stress quite so frequently. You are
aware of when someone else is going into fear and then they get angry. It is interesting to
watch, you need not be drawn into it. You can stay in Equal Circle as you watch that
pattern be acted out by others, even family members.
There is a little tidbit for you. Helpful stuff.
Is there someone else in the queue?
Participant: (Allison) Thank you for that description of the circles. That was very
helpful. On previous calls you had a hierarchy listing of emotions going from lowest to
highest. Could you run through those for me so I can jot them down?
Tom Costello: That’s great. These are the 9 emotions states that are popularized by the
Sedona Method. There are other scales more complicated but this one is very easy. It’s
cool because you can notice where the Little Circle, Big Circle and Equal Circle are.
Peace
Acceptance
Courageousness – excited about the game, can’t wait to discover, “Send me in
coach.”
Pride
Anger –
Lust – craving for things or substances, not just sexual
Fear –
Grief – sadness
Apathy – depression, hopelessness
The way I remember it is AG FLAP CAP. Pretty easy to remember.
As you look at that, apathy, grief and fear are Little Circle. Lust, anger and pride are Big
Circle (pride is looking down your nose at somebody.) “I’m better than he is.” You can
almost hear that. Courageousness, acceptance and peace are the Equal Circle.
Participant: Is there a Code or special Code to help my adult children who should be in
Equal Circles now, but are still spending their time in Little Circle, Big Circle. Is there
any way for me to help them move into Equal Circles? I’m talking about 20’s, in
particular the oldest is late 20’s. She is probably the most in Little Circle/Big Circle.
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Tom Costello: What she is saying is, “Mom, I’m in fear. I’m going to vacillate between
being really intimidated and down on myself to being angry and complaining and whiny
about everything else. I’m pinging back and forth.”
Participant: What she is beginning to do now… I’ve dealt with that for a number of
years. Now her younger sister, who is 7 years younger, but had always been more mature
than her older sister, is being influenced by the older one. They are becoming good
friends now which I thought was a wonderful thing. I prayed for that for a long time. It
is not going as I thought it would.
Tom Costello: This, to me is the main point of this. I have heard, time and time again, a
person does The Healing Codes on themselves about a relationship, let’s say you and
your oldest daughter. You do The Healing Codes with that thought in mind of getting
into the Equal Circle with her. Respecting that she is trying to establish her own identity.
Frankly, everybody on this call knows this to be true, what kids now have to deal with in
their teens and twenties compared with when we were kids, they have such pressures.
Maybe they don’t have to work as hard as we had to do, but the things that are out there
that are scary, the drugs, the diseases, on and on that you read about in the paper. It is a
different world.
As you heal your relationship with her and get into the Equal Circle. As you become
confident and you see her coming out of this phase and blooming into the most
magnificent child, woman, adult that you’ve always seen in her core, if you will. As your
energy changes, it gives her permission to change as well. So many times a person says,
“I did The Healing Codes. I don’t know how you changed my husband.” “I did The
Healing Codes. My son has improved dramatically.” I hear it about wives and about
daughters.
Really this to me is the mailman story. The mailman is afraid of dogs. Every place he
goes there is a dog that wants to attack him. He’s not understanding why even lovely
dogs want to attack him. When he heals his fear about dogs… What had happened is
that he is radiating fear. That dog picks up fear. The dog goes, “Uh oh, I’d better be
afraid.” The dog has two choices, fight or flight. It decides to attack (fight). When the
mailman handles his fear and walks into the dog’s space, the dog can decide to like the
guy. There is a whole different experience. The man wants to know why the dog
changed. The dog didn’t change. The man changed.
We broadcast to our kids, spouses, neighbors, coworkers, people in traffic jams and
grocery store lines and everywhere. Now it is a question of whether we broadcast from
the Little Circle or the Big Circle or Equal Circles. Do we broadcast from
courageousness, acceptance and peace? Frankly when you look at kids, all of us who
have them know, there is no controlling that kid. That’s worse than a mind, right. We
talked earlier about controlling thoughts that go flying through your mind. Kids are
much more difficult. Since we are not going to be able to control them, that’s not a good
job to have. What we want to do is love them, respect them, so that they can develop a
sense that they have to love and respect themselves. Doing some of the things friends to
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is not loving or respectful. I’m not doing it! Those would be the most wonderful
decisions we could hear out of a kid. It happens all the time.
The younger child is relating to an older sibling as a role model. That is an application of
peer pressure. They respond to their peers like they never respond to a parent. You just
hope they will filter it out and realize that behavior is crazy, dangerous and disappointing
to my parents. It would jeopardize love and I’m not doing it.
I would also do Unforgiveness. I would forgive myself for not having (this is totally
fictitious – totally not true) not given your daughter what she needed when she was
younger. There is no way to give a child what they need when they are younger. They
are insatiable. You do the best you can based on your level of awareness. Kids are
exposed to different things and there are forces inducing them to behave in different
ways.
Participant: She always resented being the oldest of five from the word go.
Tom Costello: That’s a very good point. I have literally seen a child at 3 years old pinch
her one-year-old brother to make him bleed. The way I interpret this is the older child
went, “Hey, wait a minute. What’s wrong with me that you had to get a new model?
Wasn’t I enough? Was I defective? What happened?” They can’t really process it with
those words, but I’ve seen that happen over and over again. The fact of the matter is that
is not part of the process. “We didn’t want one of these, we wanted something else.
Let’s get a few more of some other kind.” That’s not what happened, but kids process
stuff like that. The oldest one gets all the attention. All of a sudden the pie has to be
divided, again, again, again, again.
I got into The Healing Codes about 4 years ago when my oldest sister, number one in our
family, died. I know that the doctors say she died of cancer. Her kids say she died of
doctors because she was mistreated. I saw that first hand. I’ve had specialists tell me
that before she died. I listened to my sister, Daphne’s stories and I heard and knew what
her pictures were, her beliefs and her memories. They were poisonous. She was the
oldest of seven children. I’m number five. If you are the oldest of seven children, you go
from being the most beautiful child in the world to “who are you again?”, to did you do
all the chores? To you’re the babysitter to you’re the mother. It’s your responsibility. All
that happens in a matter of 3, 4, 5, 6 years. Whoa, wait a minute. I came here to be a
star. How did this happen? You have to know there was tremendous resentment from
that.
Participant: Thank you, Tom. That sheds a whole new light on the subject that I hadn’t
thought about.
Tom Costello: Thanks for bringing it up. That is an important one. If you can see her, as
you do The Healing Codes and you see her (in your minds eye) getting the realization
that the other children did not come because something was wrong with her, but because
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she was so fantastic that one was not enough. You can hear that one sentence make such
a difference in a life.
Participant: It’s not to late now for her to change that picture.
Tom Costello: It is not too late. If she were 80 years old it would not be too late. Not to
late by a long shot.
Participant: Thank you, Tom.
Tom Costello: Thank you, Allison
**Participant: (Dagmar) You started all kinds of new stuff over here with the circles.
Those are incredible. Thank you so much. That is something I can hold for the rest of
my life and apply for myself and every time my loved ones start what normally would set
me off, I can actually observe and see what is happening with the circles. It’s
extraordinary. Thank you.
It brought up a question for me. Doing The Healing Codes for someone or suggesting
someone do it for themselves…. My recent situation regarding this man that I’m not with
any more. It was a situation where I clearly participated in a lie in his life. He, I suppose,
is continuing the lie. He is a married man. His wife did not know about us. If I am
doing the Muscular/Skeletal, the Code for deception and he had issues with the body that
related to exactly that system to the point of surgery… He was very willing to do the
Codes himself. We’ve ended our very long-time relationship, I think because of what the
Codes brought up for both of us. I could not hold back any more my participation in the
deception. He became aware of the depth of his guilt.
My question is, am I imposing on his free will if I do a Code that both of us need and
send it to him even though I am not with him now? We did the Codes on each other.
We did the 12 Days together as part of our wanting to get clarity on the situation. Where
does free will fall into this? I know my intent is good. Maybe his intent is to never
reveal the truth. He clearly does not want his wife or anyone in his life to know about
me. There is no hard feeling, he doesn’t hate me. He has not stopped loving me, he has
just stopped seeing me. Any thoughts on that?
Tom Costello: I do. I live in Florida. I have a courtyard in my home. Outdoors I have
three fruit trees. I have a fig tree, a lemon tree and a lime tree. The fig tree is my
favorite. My job is to water the trees and it is also to think good thoughts about them. I
go out and talk to them. I touch the leaves. I admire the budding fruit. Whether they use
the water, the conversation, the touch or vibration is up to them. I don’t control that.
When you think a good thought about anybody you do the world a service. It has nothing
to do with controlling them. I tend to be pretty political. The best thing I could do would
be to pray for President Bush.
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Participant: I grasp it with President Bush, but with this person I have to clarify for
myself whether the good thought I am thinking is really for them or is it because I want
them to be with me? Am I thinking a good thought because I want the best outcome for
them and their soul? I think good thoughts of President Bush because I feel that serves
me the most and life the most.
Tom Costello: Yes, it does serve you the most and it does serve life the most and it does
serve the planet the most. Anytime he can make a better decision, everybody benefits
from that. As the most powerful man in the world, we can’t have him making decisions
from fight-or-flight in fear. We see what is going on around the planet. It makes
everybody go into fight-or-flight. Everybody is attacking everybody.
If you get into the space where you do the Code. You release it to your ex-friend and let
it go at that. There is nothing you can control. Frankly, I would raise my sights to have a
higher form of relationship (not with him) with the ideal person. The trouble with staying
on first base thought it is secure, you never get to second base. People think, “I’ve got to
hold on to what I’ve got. It’s possible that I may not….” You can hear the fear. You can
hear the lack of energy. You can hear the scarcity. I would let him have his experiences,
you have yours. The more times during the day you can vibrate love to anything, anyone
about any subject, it is better for your entire system. Every single cell in your body gets
the declaration from you that you are at peace. Those cells at peace are just like citizens
in the country at peace. They start building infrastructure, growing new cells, taking care
of things, taking out the garbage, doing all kinds of wonderful, healthy body-building
things. That is in opposition to hunkering down for the next battle, for the bomb, for the
next attack, for the next slap, hit, scream.
Participant: What I’m hearing is that the very thing I saw him trapped inside is the very
thing I’m trapped inside of. It is coming from fear inside me. He is afraid to loose his
family and I’m afraid to loose him. Basically we were a perfect match for each other
then. Both of us made some kind of a shift. To make decisions from a nervous system
that is more intelligent is a better way to move into life.
Tom Costello: I think The Healing Codes are all about awareness and consciousness. On
day one before we start The Healing Codes, all of us on this call think of ourselves as “I
think of myself this way spiritually, this way mentally, this way physically, this way
emotionally, this way in regard to my family, this way financially, this way socially and
half a dozen other ways.” As we start to let some of this not-true stuff that we’ve
accumulated (the stuff in the closet that I mentioned) get chipped away it is revealing the
masterpiece underneath. We realize we are spiritually different than we thought. “I think
I’m brighter than I thought. Emotionally I’m much more sensitive. I have a wider range
of feelings. There are 88 keys on the keyboard instead of just two, sadness and anger.”
As we start to unfold we experience all of this.
I think what this really means is we can create, attract magnificent things on all those
planes; spiritual, mental, physical, emotional, financial, career, relationships, family,
leisure activities. We wonder why we didn’t make our way into this wide-open store
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before where I could have any choice? It is because we were in fear. We were trying to
protect ourselves. We had to hide and stay in this one little place. Now there is a whole
great world out there. I am interested in discovering that. Let me get into
courageousness. This is going to be fun. There we go.
Participant: Right on up to Acceptance maybe even. Thank you so much. That really
opens up the space even more as I am on this journey.
Tom Costello: Thank you.
We are at the top of the hour. I want to thank you for being on tonight’s call. I say I
appreciate it and the reason I say that is because I do. It is a great deal of joy in the
subjects we discuss that are so important and so meaningful. If we can allow ourselves to
open our hearts to the love that is available to share with our children, our loved ones, our
coworkers, OURSELVES, that’s the first place we want to start caring. We need to care
for ourselves. We want to be cared for and we want to care for. Start with ourselves and
let it overflow. We become much more capable of sharing that with others. That is the
name of this game. It is exciting. I love the conversation. Thank your for your questions
and contributions.
Thank you Kevin.
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