Michaelina “Mia” Murphy
Attorney at Law
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Graduated from Law School in 1994
Worked as Deputy Attorney General
 Child Support Enforcement
 Corrections
 Capital Litigation (Death Penalty)
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State Appellate Public Defender’s Office
Private Practice
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Don’t diagnose yourself.
Don’t diagnose others.
Don’t diagnose me.
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DSM-V defines a personality disorder as an
enduring pattern of inner experience and
behavior that deviates markedly from cultural
expectations, is inflexible and pervasive, has
its onset in adolescence or early adulthood, is
stable over time, and leads to distress and
impairment.
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Paranoid Personality Disorder
◦ Pervasive Distrust of Others (including friends and
family).
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Schizoid Personality Disorder
◦ Direct Attention to Inner Life and Away from
External World
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Schizotypal Disorder
◦ Similar Odd Behaviors as Schizophrenia (magical
thinking)
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Antisocial Personality Disorder
◦ Disregards Social Rules and Order
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Borderline Personality Disorder
◦ Lacks a Sense of Self that Results in Emptiness and
Fear of Abandonment.
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Histrionic Personality Disorder
◦ Lacks Self Worth and Requires Attention and
Constant Approval.
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Narcissistic Personality Disorder
◦ Grandiose Sense of Self Importance
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Avoidant Personality Disorder
◦ Believes Self to be Socially Inept Unappealing or
Inferior.
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Dependent Personality Disorder.
◦ Lacks Self Confidence and Has Excessive Need to be
Taken Care Of.
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Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder
◦ Excessive Preoccupation with Details, Rules, Lists,
Order, Organization or Perfectionism.
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In 2004 30.8 million (14.85%)
Americans met the standard
diagnostic criteria for having a
personality disorder.
7.9% - OCD PD
4.4% - Paranoid PD
1.8% - Histrionic PD
3.1% - Schizoid PD
2.4% - Avoidant PD
1.0% - Dependent PD
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Lack of Compassion or Empathy.
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The Struck Child Story
Unmoved by the Effect Their Behavior has on Others
Fakes Emotion By Watching Others
Shallow Emotions or Inappropriate Emotions
Only Shows Emotions to Keep Others Engaged
Shark Eyes
Examples.
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A Pervasive Pattern Of Grandiosity (in Fantasy
or Behavior)
◦ Fantasized about power, brilliance, success, ideal
love and attractiveness
◦ Believes he is special, deserves special treatment, or
to be with “special” people.
◦ Believes he deserves only the best products,
doctors, instructors, house, education or job
◦ Belief has no underpinning in reality.
◦ The Italian marble in the double wide trailer.
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Believes She is Better Than Others
◦ Can Only Be With Perfect People, but then Gets Rid
of Them When They are Deemed Not Perfect.
◦ Treats Staff, Waiters, Retail People, Bank Tellers
Horribly
◦ Can’t Understand the Purpose of Lines.
◦ Believes She is Smarter, More Beautiful, More
Capable, or More Anything Than Everyone Else.
◦ Her Opinions Are The Only One’s That Matter.
◦ Has Disdain For Those She Feels Are Inferior.
◦ Strong Sense of Entitlement.
◦ Arrogant, Haughty Behaviors and Attitudes.
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Exaggerates His Achievements or Talents
◦ If You Have A Master’s Degree than I have a PHD.
◦ The One Up Game
◦ Will Lie and Does Not Care If You Find Out The
Truth
◦ Will Have You Work On The Project And Tell Boss He
Did It Alone.
◦ Often Can’t Keep Their Achievements Straight.
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Expects Constant Praise and Admiration
Does Not Have To Be Sincere Praise
Flattery Works.
The Narcissist Kryptonite.
If You Stop Feeding The Monster, She Will Have No
Use For You.
◦ Birthday Card Count.
◦ Don’t Expect A Return Of Praise or Admiration.
◦ May Act as if She does not Want Admiration.
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Expecting Others To Go Along With Your
Ideas and Plans.
◦ As He is Perfect, So are His Plans.
◦ May Ask You To Set Plans, but Will Then Sabotage
or Convert To His Liking.
◦ Your Ideas Are Silly Until They Are His.
◦ The Diapers on the Doorstep.
◦ The Tug of War At Every Event.
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Taking Advantage of Others
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You Exist for His Benefit.
Do Not Understand Boundaries
Takes Credit for the Work of Others.
Can Be Parasites.
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Being Jealous of Others
◦ Will Put Down Any Good Thing That Happens To
Another.
◦ Is Constantly Jealous.
◦ Will Make Excuses to not be Around One That She is
Jealous of.
◦ Puts Down and Belittles the Person.
◦ The House and the Post.
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Believing that Others are Jealous of You.
◦ No Basis in Reality.
◦ Uses it as Protection.
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Trouble Keeping Healthy Relationships
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Runs Through Friends Like Toilet Paper
Multiple Marriages or Romantic Relationships
No Pedestal as High as His.
Relationship May Be Longstanding, but Very
Unhealthy.
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Setting Unrealistic Goals
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Not Based in Reality.
May Impose Them On Others.
Does So To Make Self Look Good.
No Intention of Meeting Those Goals.
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Fragile Ego
◦ Easily Hurt and Rejected.
◦ Appears as Tough-Minded and Unemotional, but
then Experiences Narcissistic Rage.
◦ If Ego is Harmed Will Go To the Ends of the Earth to
Destroy One Who Harmed Him or Restore Ego.
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Beauty
Work Out All The Time
Highly Fashionable
Spend Above Their
Means on Clothes, Plastic
Surgery, etc.
Only Hang Out With
Beautiful People.
Hate What Is Perceived As
Ugly
Trophy Wife
Depressed As They Age
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Brain
Intellectual, Even If Never
Educated
Hates the Dumb, As
Defined By Him
Knows More Than The
Experts.
Everyone Is Stupid
Often Lies About
Academic
Accomplishments.
Depressed if Children
Surpass Them
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Position Usually Lacks Oversight or Cannot Be
Challenged.
Provides Adoring or Captive Audience
Teachers, Clergy, Show Business Members,
Corporate Management, Medical Providers,
Military Members (Hero), Law Enforcement
Members, Politicians and Sports Figures.
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Identify.
Figure Out Your Needs.
◦ Don’t Harm Yourself or Another By Staying
Connected.
◦ If You Find Yourself Exhausted, Rethink Your
Strategy.
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Accept Their Limitations.
◦ They Won’t Change.
◦ How Can You Use Them In Your Duties.
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Define Your Self Worth By Other Means.
◦ Must Have a Strong Self Image and Be Self
Confident to Avoid Injury
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Try To Have Compassion
◦ Don’t Let Them Do Whatever They Want
◦ Narcissists Do Not Understand Unconditional Love
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Avoid The Mind Games.
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You Won’t Ever Please a Narcissist So Don’t
Try.
◦ Don’t Play Blame Game. They Are Always Right and
You are Always Wrong.
◦ Set Strong Boundaries.
◦ They Will Lie and Lie and Lie. Document,
Document, Document.
◦ If You Want Something, Then I Get Something.
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Talk With Someone.
Listen To Them A Lot.
◦ They Will Think You Are Wonderful.
◦ Set Time Limits.
◦ Only Talk About Them.
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Be Genuine In Your Praise of Them.
◦ If You Need Something Quickly, Just Flatter.
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Smile and Nod.
Persuade the Narcissist That What You Want
Benefits Them.
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Find Leverage.
◦ Above All The Narcissist Wants To Protect His
Fragile Ego.
◦ Don’t Destroy, Just Threaten.
◦ Get Away or Get Them Away.
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3.6% of the population.
◦ 3% of all men.
◦ 1% of all women.
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Current U.S. Population is 316 Million
Approximately 10 Million in the United States
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1. CEO
2. Lawyer
3. Media Personality
4. Salesperson
5. Surgeon
6. Journalist
7. Police Officer
8. Clergyperson
9. Chef
10. Civil Servant
Top Ten
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1. Care Aide
2. Nurse
3. Therapist
4. Craftsperson
5. Beautician/Stylist
6. Charity Worker
7. Teacher
8. Creative Artist
9. Doctor
10. Accountant
Bottom Ten
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1. Look for Glib and Superficial Charm.
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Dress in a Fun or Different Manner.
Overly Charming.
What is Superficial Charm?
Mask of Sanity.
Does Good Deeds To Gain Trust.
Look for Grandiose Self Perception.
◦ Believe They Are Smarter and More Powerful Than
They are.
◦ Like a Narcissist.
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Watch for a Need for Constant Stimulation.
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Daredevil, Adventurer, Risk Taker to the Extreme.
Takes Risks With Health and Sexual Experiences.
Needs Constant Entertainment, Activity and Action.
Hates Stillness, Quiet and Reflection.
Determine if He is a Pathological Liar.
◦ Lies When It Doesn’t Matter.
◦ Changes Story Even When He Knows Others Know
the Truth.
◦ White Lies to Huge Whoppers.
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Look for a High Level of Manipulation
◦ Cunning and Able To Get People To Do Things They
Would Not Normally Do.
◦ The Pastor and the Pornography.
◦ Use Guilt, Sob Stories, Force, Pity, Lies and Threats.
◦ Power and Control Is The Final Goal.
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Determine the Affect Or Emotional Response of
Person.
◦ He demonstrates shallow emotions to deaths, injuries,
traumas or events that should illicit strong emotion, but
shows over the top emotions with smaller incidents.
◦ Watches Others to “Learn” Emotions.
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Look For A Lack Of Empathy.
◦ Callous and Can’t Relate to Non-Psychopaths.
◦ Animal Abuse
◦ Hamster in the Toilet.
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Look At The Person’s Lifestyle.
◦ They Live Off Other People.
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Observe the Person’s Behavior.
◦ Poor Behavior Control.
◦ Sexual Promiscuity
◦ Early Behavior Problems
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Talk About Goals
◦ Like Narcissists.
◦ Have No Goals or Have Unattainable or Unrealistic
Goals Based Upon An Exaggerated Sense of Abilities
and Accomplishments.
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Is The Person Impulsive and Irresponsible.
Can The Person Accept Responsibility.
◦ Can Never Make Mistakes, or Errors In Judgment or
Admit To Being Wrong.
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Look At His Marital History.
◦ Many Short Marriages or Relationships
◦ Prior Mates Damaged, Harmed or Still Seething.
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Look For A History Of Juvenile Delinquency.
Check For Criminal Diversity.
◦ No Crime Too Big or Too Small and He Wants To Try
Them All.
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Does The Person Make Constant use Of “The Poor
Fellow’s Imagery”
◦ The World Is Unjust For Them.
◦ Always Getting Picked On. He is the Down Trodden and
the Disenfranchised.
◦ Lowers Our Guard For Their Exploitation.
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Pay Attention To His Treatment Of Others.
◦ Subordinates, the Elderly, Animals, Physically Frail,
Lower Ranking People.
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Anti-social Disorder, Sociopath and Psychopath
are All The Same.
Primary Psychopaths: Do Not Respond to
Punishment, Stress or Disapproval. Cannot
Experience Any Genuine Emotion. Many Have
Semantic Aphasia Which Means They Do Not
Understand the Meaning of Their Own Words.
Secondary Psychopaths: These are Risk Takers,
Are Stress Reactive, Worriers and Guilt Prone, but
Subject Themselves to Large Amount of Stress.
Gene Mutation May Be Responsible.
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Distempered Psychopaths: Fly Into A Frenzy Or
Rage Very Easily. They Have Strong Sexual
Desires and Obsessed With Sexual Urges. Have
Powerful Cravings that Are Often Illegal Which
Consume Their Waking Day. Serial Rapists and
Murders Are This Type.
Charismatic Psychopaths: Charming and
Attractive Liars. Gifted with One Talent. Fast
Talkers, Hustlers and Can Persuade Others To Do
the Unthinkable On Their Own. Cult Leaders Who
Have Their Followers Kill Themselves.
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They Don’t Want Things, But Like The Power
of Taking The Things of Another.
They Plagiarize, Swindle, Extort, Bleed.
People Are Merely a Means To An End.
People Are Merely Objects Who Provide Stuff.
Control Over Others Is Desired. Like Moving
Figures Through a Video Game.
Learning A New Emotion That Can Be Used
Another Time.
Keeping People Like Possessions.
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Neurological Abnormalities
◦ Frontal Lobe defect Caused By Gene Mutation,
Injury or Disease.
◦ The Amygdalae (base of brain), Affects Aggression,
Sexuality and Recklessness. May Affect How
Emotions of Others are Interpreted. Damage To
This Area Is Usually Present.
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Be Able To Identify Or See Red Flags
Understand That All Social Norms Will Be
Used Against You. The Rules Are Now Your
Enemy.
Understand You Are The Prey.
Keep Very Tight and Strong Boundaries.
Disassociate Immediately.
Get Help For Anyone Vulnerable Involved With
the Person, but Do Not Engage.
Get Far Away.
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Never Contact or Engage Alone.
Get A Trained Professional Who Has Dealt
With This Personality Before.
Protect Your Family, Business and Assets.
Understand He Has No Limits And Will Not
Abide By The Law Or Your Limitations.
Find Leverage.
Do Not Follow The Rules of Life. Do Not Have
Compassion. Do Not Let Down Your Guard.