Vice-Principal Douglas Panch—Callback Material 1. AEGROTAT Definition: A medical certificate that a student is ill. Sentence: Frankie, I’m not saying that you weren’t sick—but this aegrotat is written on an Arby’s napkin. 2. ALBUMGRAECUM (ALBUM-GREEK-CUM) Definition: Dog excretement, which when whitened by exposure, can be used in tanning leather. Sentence: Billy loved his new albumgraecum bomber jacket, but it smelled like crap. 3. APOOP Definition: Toward the back; to move astern on a boat. Sentence: Guido, the sea-sick Italian sailor said, ‘Scusa me, boys, but I’m-a-gonna go apoop.’ 4. CATTERJOONS Definition: Unknown. A Nantucket whaling term. Sentence: The neap tide is upon us. The leviathan nears. Catterjoons. 5. CRAPAUD Definition: An edible bullfrog from South or Central America. Sentence: Please pass the crapaud. or Sentence: Despite the absence of any actual frog meat, Mary’s lasagna tasted like crapaud. 6. DENGUE Definition: A disease transmitted by mosquitoes that causes headache, severe joint pain, rash, and severe diarrhea. Sentence: When the pediatrician asked Billy to describe the symptoms of his dengue, he said ‘it’s like there was a race out of my tushy and everybody won.’ 7. EWE Definition: A female sheep. Sentence: Gretchen the sheep’s crush on Johnny the effeminate boy sheep ended when she was told “sorry, he’s just not into ewes.” 8. HEDONOPHOBIA Definition: The fear of pleasure. Sentence: Billy was diagnosed with mild Hedonophobia after saying he wanted to rock n’ roll half the night and party every other day. 9. MIZZLE Definition: Rain in very fine droplets; a light drizzle. Sentence: The hip-hop weather man left no question as to Monday’s forecast: fo’ shizzle, it’s mizzle. 10. OUBLIETTE Definition: A dungeon with an opening only at the top. Sentence: ‘Lars, can you see an opening up there?’ ‘Why no Stan, my neck is bracketed to the wall.’ ‘Well, I feel a draft from above; I think we’re in an oubliette. 11. PHEOCHROMOCYTOMATA Definition: A tumor that produces excess epinephrine and causes hypertension, nausea, and diarrhea in one’s sympathetic nervous system. Sentence: When the doctor told John about his Pheochromocytomata, he wondered how nausea and diarrhea could be part of a sympathetic nervous system. 12. RAGSPLAWGER Definition: A wealthy man. Sentence: All day long, I’d biddy-biddy-bum, if I were a ragslawger. 13. SERMUNCLE Definition: A short sermon by a priest. Sentence: There is no such thing as a sermunckle. 14. SMOOGLIGAN or CRIZZLEMUM (phonetic) Definition: Unknown. An old London Street Urchin term, circa 1760. Just one written citation. Possibly has something to do with mutton. Sentence: Smoogligan (crizzlemum) for me troubles, gov’nor. 15. ZUUZUU Definition: A candy or confectionary sold to prisoners from a vending machine. Sentence: On his field trip to Sing Sing, Billy learned bending over to retrieve your ZuuZuu is a no-no.