1
Act 1 Scene 1 – Gloucestershire
In front of tabs
Dick
(enter from Audience)
Hello Boys and Girls, Mums and Dads. My name’s Dick, Dick
Whittington to be correct, and I’m on my way to London to make my
fortune. But I seem to have lost my travelling companion. Has anyone
here seen my pussy……cat? (look about). He’s my dearest friend, but
he’s very lazy. Perhaps you would help me call him. His name is
Prince Marmaduke Thomas Rattle/Mattle Catcher, but we call him
Tommy for short. Let’s give it a try. BIZ (shouts) Tommy. (encourages
audience to help him). You can do better than that….Tommy. (still no
sign of Tommy). I bet he’s in the fields chasing rats and mice. Apart
from sleeping, that’s all he does all day. One last time….Tommy.
Tommy
No. (yawns) I like it here in Gloucestershire. Everyone knows us and
we have plenty to eat here.
Dick
Well, you do. You spend all day catching rats and mice on the farms,
and the farmers are very grateful to you.
Tommy
(Lion style from Wizard of Oz) Yeah, and I’m the best mouser in all the
district….put em up….put em up.....put em up.
Dick
As you keep telling everyone.
Tommy
Yeah…I’m great. Tommy the mouse catcher, Tommy the rat catcher.
(strikes a Rocky pose)
Dick
(sad) But I don’t have a job, and I don’t have enough to eat. I need to
go elsewhere to make my fortune. London is the place for me.
There’s just no work here for me anymore.
Tommy
Well, how far is this London you keep raving about, and how are we
going to get there?
Tommy
(off stage) All right, all right, I’m coming. There’s no need to shout I
can hear you.
Dick
Come on then, or we will be late starting.
Tommy
(enters at his leisure). Hello everyone. (big yawn)
Dick
Come on Tommy, hurry up. We must start our journey at once.
Dick
Walk
Tommy
What journey?
Tommy
Yes. But how far is this London?
Dick
Our journey to London
Dick
About 115 miles
Tommy
What? I don’t remember saying anything about going to London
Tommy
What? You want me to walk 115 miles?
Dick
Yes, you do. We were only talking about it the other day. Don’t you
remember me saying how London is the richest city in the world?
Dick
It’s not that far really. And we could walk a little each day.
Tommy
Walk! What are you talking about? It would take us weeks.
Tommy
(curling up to go to sleep) No
Dick
Dick
Or about how the streets are paved with gold, and everyone is very
happy there. And we could be, too.
Well, I do have a little food, and you could catch mice and rats along
the way. I’m sure we will be okay.
Tommy
Are you stupid or what?
Tommy
No
Dick
What do you mean?
Dick
Don’t you want to go to London?
2
Tommy
What I mean, my little – no common sense friend – is. We can catch
the Mega Bus. It’s only a pound.
Dick
Oh, Tommy, you are funny. They haven’t been invented yet. Come
on, let’s start walking. We have a long way to go.
Tommy
Don’t I know it. (exit S/R slowly dragging feet)
Dick
Bye everyone (exit S/R)
I make you all a solemn oath
To watch o’er our travellers, both
And if from their destined path they stray
I’ll help them both along the way
King Rat
You’ve only the Bells of London in your power
How can you stop me in my finest hour?
Fairy
I’m the fairy of all London’s Bells.
And I will thwart your wicked spells
London town’s Lord Mayor you will not be
I’ll sort that out, you wait and see
King Rat
So you think you can stop me with your silly rhymes
I don’t care about the bells and their chimes
I will win in the end, I’ll see this through
So it seems there’s nothing you can do
Fairy
There is someone else I have in mind
He is young, eager, good and kind
You’ll not be London town’s Lord Mayor
Your plan will vanish in thin air
King Rat
(to audience)
And you can boo and hiss all you want
I just don’t understand the word – can’t
I have a whole army of rats who obey
My every word, and so away (evil) ha ha
(exit)
Fairy
Don’t you worry, girls and boys
King Rat, he just makes lots of noise
This year our tale is nearly true
Dick Whittington we bring to you
Enter from S/L King Rat in green light and smoke
King Rat
What? Another cat to London bound
I’m not having that
I’ll cause trouble for them both
Or my name’s not King Rat
Enter from S/R Fairy in pink light and smoke
Fairy
Tommy may be lazy
But he’s a special sort of cat
He will be Dick’s faithful friend
I’ll make sure of that
King Rat
But, I am King Rat and
In London is the Mansion House
Where the Lord Mayor lives,
That will be my dwelling soon, or I am just a mouse (feign timidity)
I’m in charge of all the rats,
And they say a little prayer
That very soon I’ll take my place
In London as Lord Mayor
Fairy
Oh no you won’t
King Rat
Oh yes I will (X2)
Fairy
Oh no you won’t. I’ll see you don’t
Good citizens of Gloucester, have no fear
The Fairy of Bow Bells is here
And while he returns to his horrible world
Of dreadful dirt and filthy grime
We shall enter the wonderful world
Of good old pantomime…. (exit)