Relationship
Strategies:
Respecting Preferences and
Differences
Think About:
The roles you have at work:
How does good and bad
Presented by Judi Fischer MA, PCC-S
Exercise:
communication affect your success
in these roles?
Golden Rule:
Write down one current situation or
relationship that could be improved by
improving communication with a
person or persons.
You are in the business of helping people ~
being able to understand and
communicate effectively is a must!
Platinum Rule:
Do unto others as they would have
you do unto them,
Do unto others as you would have
them do unto you,
or
Treat others the way you wish to be
treated.
Relationship Strategies:
Behavioral Dimensions
Relational Patterns
Supporting or Controlling?
or
Relational Communication
Treat others as they wish to be
treated.
Indirect or Direct?
1
Relational Patterns
Supporting People are:
The readiness and willingness with
which a person outwardly shows
emotions or feelings and develops
interpersonal relationships.
supporting
controlling
Relaxed
Express feelings
Warm
Feeling oriented
Responsive
Flexible with time
Informal
Relationship oriented
Personable
“Spirit of the law”
Relational Communication
Controlling People are:
Formal
Hide feelings
Proper
Task oriented
Guarded
Disciplined with time
Aloof
Fact oriented
Follow rules
“Letter of the law”
The amount of control and forcefulness
a person attempts to exercise over
situations or other people’s thoughts
and emotions.
indirect
Indirect People are:
direct
Direct People are:
Easygoing
Avoids risks
Impatient
Takes risks
Less assertive
Meditative decisions
Confronting
Swift decisions
Listens
Keeps opinions to self
Talks
Expresses opinions
readily
Reserved
Outgoing
2
Four Behavioral Styles
Social
Peacock
Diplomatic
Dove
Wise
Owl
Behavioral Styles
Dove: Supporting and indirect. Relatively
Dominant
Eagle
Behavioral Styles
Peacock: Direct and supporting. Animated,
intuitiveness, lively. Can be seen as excitable,
manipulative. Fast paced, spontaneous,
seldom concerned about facts and details.
May exaggerate and generalize. Primary
strengths: enthusiasm, sociable, ideas and
persuasiveness. May get involved in too many
things, be impatient.
Behavioral Styles
unassertive, warm, reliable, compliant, soft
hearted and accommodating. Primary
strengths: giving, caring and a peacemaker.
The most people oriented of the four.
Dislikes interpersonal conflict.
Behavioral Styles
Owl: Indirect and controlling. Concerned
with analytical processes, persistent and
systematic problem solver. Can be seen as
aloof, picky and critical. Primary strengths:
accuracy, dependability, independence,
follow-thru, and organization. Prefers the
intellectual.
Behavioral Styles
Supporting
Dove
Eagles: Controlling and direct. Firmness in
relationships with others, oriented toward
productivity and goals, concerned with
bottom line results. Accepts challenges,
takes authority and goes head first into
solving problems. Primary strengths:
administration, independence and achieving
goals.
Peacock
Indirect
Direct
Owl
Eagle
Controlling
3
Strengths and Weaknesses
Dove Behavioral Style
Strengths and Weaknesses
Peacock Behavioral Style
Strengths
Weaknesses
Strengths
Weaknesses
Supportive
Compliant
Invigorating
Excitable
Reliable
Overly sensitive
Optimistic
Overly involved
Pleasant
Easily bullied
Animated
Impatience
Loving
Soft-hearted
Sociable
Short attention
Strengths and Weaknesses
Owl Behavioral Style
Strengths and Weaknesses
Eagle Behavioral Style
Strengths
Weaknesses
Strengths
Weaknesses
Diligent
Picky
Firm
Uncompromising
Persevering
Overly cautious
Comprehensive
Poor listening
Creative
Stiff
Productive
Competitive
Independent
Procrastination
Leadership
Impatient
Behavioral Styles - Decisions
Behavioral Styles - Workplace
Supporting
Consulting
Supporting
Spontaneous
Indirect
Direct
Deliberate
Decisive
Controlling
Personal and
Relaxed
Stimulating and
Cluttered
Indirect
Direct
Structured and
Functional
Busy and
Efficient
Controlling
4
Behavioral Styles – Irritations
Supporting
Insensitivity and
Impatience
Routine and
Perfectionism
Managing Relationship
Stress
PACE: A person’s natural rate of
speed.
Indirect
Direct
Disorganization and
Unpredictability
Inefficiency
and Indecision
PRIORITY: What a person sees as
most important toward accomplishing
a goal.
Controlling
Differences in Styles:
Differences in Styles:
Supporting – relationship priority
Controlling – task priority
Indirect – slower pace
Direct – faster pace
Behavioral Styles – Managing Stress
Slow Pace
Relationship Priority
Indirect
Dove and Owl
Supporting
Peacock and Dove
Fast Pace
Task Priority
Direct
Peacock and Eagle
Controlling
Eagle and Owl
Behavioral Flexibility
Supporting
Submissive
Sarcastic
Behavioral Flexibility: A willingness
Indirect
Direct
Withdraw
Dictatorial
to exercise behaviors not necessarily
characteristic of your own for the
benefit of the relationship.
Controlling
5
Behavioral Flexibility
Flexibility is adjusting your openness,
directness, pace and priority, while
maintaining your own identity.
Raise your flexibility level – trust and
credibility go up;
Lower your flexibility level – trust and
credibility go down.
Increasing Behavioral Flexibility
The Owl
Openly show concern and appreciation
for others.
Occasionally try short cuts and time
savers.
Initiate new projects.
Compromise with the opposition.
Use policies as guidelines, not laws.
Increasing Behavioral Flexibility
The Eagle
Practice “active” listening.
Develop patience, humility, sensitivity
and empathy.
Verbalize the reason for conclusions.
Identify with the group.
Verbalize compliments to others.
Increasing Behavioral Flexibility
The Dove
Become less sensitive to the feelings
and actions of others.
Take risks – move out of comfort zone.
Delegate to others.
Verbalize feelings and thoughts to the
appropriate person.
Increasing Behavioral Flexibility
The Peacock
Control time and emotions.
Develop a more objective mindset.
Spend more time checking, verifying
and organizing.
Follow through on agreements.
Try to complete more of what you start.
Think about it:
Could behavioral flexibility help
improve the current situation or
relationship you identified? What is one
way you could increase your behavioral
flexibility so you are treating this
person the way they want to be
treated?
Platinum Rule
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