Dragon Writing
Survival Guide
2014-2015
Thanks to E. Davis and colleagues of Westwood High
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Welcome to the Dragon Writing Survival Guide! The purpose of the guide is to help you find answers
to your questions about writing. The “Yellow Pages” begins on page 26 of this guide. Good luck as you
develop as a writer in this very important year.
Table of Contents
Page
The 6+1 Traits of Good Writing
2
The Writing Process
5
Definition of an Essay
7
Anatomy of an Essay
7
The Introduction
7
Basic Paragraph Structure
9
Topic Sentence
10
Evidence
11
Elaboration
13
Summary Sentence
14
Transitions
14
Conclusion
14
Guidelines for MLA Formatting
15
Plagiarism
16
Revising and Editing
16
Phrase Toolbox
16
The Seven Deadly Sins of Writing
17
Revision Checklist
23
Resources
25
The Yellow Pages
26
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The 6 + 1 Traits of Good Writing
Ideas and Content : We don’t want [the writer] to describe every ride at Disneyland or tell us that the Grand Canyon is
awesome… If one of the rides at Disneyland got stuck or if somebody fell into the awesome Grand Canyon, that would be worth
hearing about. – William Zinsser
Ideas and content is what you have to say – the reason for writing your paper. Everything about
your writing begins with that message. If you can choose your own topic, pick something important to
you, that you know a lot about. If someone picks the topic for you, look for a way to connect it to your own
experience. That way you can use what you know.
Keep it small. If your topic is too big (like “Animals of Africa”) you’ll wind up trying to tell too much
and not be able to focus on any one idea long enough to make it clear. Skinny it down (“Why Lions Hunt
in Pairs”).
Surprise your reader with what you know. Don’t spend time on things that anyone else could
write. Don’t say, “Cooking in a restaurant can be hard work.” Even people who don’t cook can figure that
out. Instead, tell what goes on in the kitchen when an angry customer sends the food back. That would
be an interesting insight!
One more hint: Make your ideas crystal clear. Avoid general statements like “Our trip was exciting.”
Exciting how? Instead say, “I chased two very hungry black bears away from our camping supplies.”
Specific details that help the reader picture what is happening can make or break your writing.
Organization
I look back and forth and see potential endings and titles and leads. I’m looking for a trail through the material I have… -- Donald
Murray.
Without a clear trail, your ideas collapse or crash into each other. It is the organization that gives
your writing direction and helps the reader move through the ideas in a purposeful way.
Begin with a strong lead so you hook the reader right away. Don’t settle for “Once upon a time” or
“My paper is about dogs.” Think about your lead working like a fishing lure or fly that dangles right in
front of the nose of the fish until it just can’t resist and takes a big, committed bite.
If you take a look at your whole piece of writing, it should carefully build to the most important
moment or point you are trying to make. Toss your reader interesting details that work like stepping
stones – each getting the reader closer and closer to the key idea or event.
The order of your details is really important, too. Ideas shouldn’t dive bomb the reader out of the
blue; they should come at just the right time to help the reader understand. Everything needs to fit
together with a strong connecting line back to the main idea.
Watch out for getting bogged down in trivial details (what color the help’s socks were, or whether
she had milk on her cereal.) Keep moving right along. And when you reach the end of the story or make
your last point, STOP! Make that last sentence count by leaving the reader with something to think about.
Good endings are tough, but don’t fall into the pit with “And I woke up and it was only a dream,” or “No
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you know the three reasons why Americans should carpool.” Readers won’t feel satisfied with these
endings and neither will you.
Voice
Voice separates writing that is read from writing that is not read…Voice is the writer revealed. – Donald Murray
Voice is YOU coming through your writing. It’s what gives your writing personality, flavor, style, a
sound all its own. Only you can give your writing this special touch because no one else sees the world
quite the way you do. Your voice is a distinctively yours as your fingerprints.
Honesty is important to create voice in your writing. You must say what you truly think and feel – not
what you think someone else might want to hear. This takes courage. You must write from the inside out
– from the part of you that’s in touch with your feelings. This means you need to know yourself, listen to
yourself, and trust those thoughts and feelings. Sometimes the very act of writing will help you discover
what you truly think and feel. It’s risky, a bit scary, and exciting, too.
Think about your reader as you write. Write directly to that person just as if he or she was standing
there talking to you. Be yourself. Don’t try to impress the reader. Readers will respond to your sincerity,
honesty, and conviction.
Write with confidence, as if you know what you’re talking about and it is utterly fascinating. Your
enthusiasm will be contagious and will draw the reader into your writer’s web of ideas and feelings.
Word Choice: I do not choose the right word; I get rid of the wrong one. – A.E. Housman
As you read and listen to other people speak, you cultivate a rich vocabulary of precise and colorful words
that let you say exactly what you want – not come close, but nail it right on the head. This is the essence of
good word choice. Every new word increases your power.
In his book, On Writing Well, William Zinsser says, “Verbs are the most important of all your
tools. They push the sentence forward and give it momentum…flail, poke, dazzle, squash, beguile,
pamper, swagger, wheedle, vex. Probably no other language has such a vast supply of verbs so bright with
color.” Learn to develop a critical eye toward verbs in your work. Are they active, powerful, full of energy
and pizzazz?
Keep the vocabulary natural. Never write to impress or you’ll end up with sentences like this: “He
cultivated his way into the kitchen,” or “Our friendship was highly lucrative.” In an attempt to use words
that were bigger, these writers forgot to make sure they made sense. A thesaurus can be a good friend to a
writer, but only if used sparingly and with thought.
Your writing works best with specific words carefully chosen to create a vivid picture in the reader’s mind.
Play around with the words until they sound good. Don’t say, “The dog was big and mean.” Say
“A hundred pounds of snarling yellow fur launched itself from the porch, straining at a rope thin as
spaghetti.” Now that’s something we can see happening!
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Sentence Fluency
Clarity. Clarity. Clarity. When you become hopelessly mired in a sentence, it is best to start fresh… -- Strunk and White The
Elements of Style
Read what you write aloud and listen to the rhythm of the language. Do you like what you hear?
Does it make you sit up and take notice, or are you lulled to sleep by the sing-song sameness of each
sentence pattern? Writers who read a lot notice that they develop a feeling for sentences that some people
call “sentence sense.” It’s that sense that there’s more than one way to say a thing – but some ways just
sound better than others.
Your sentences should be clear; they should make sense. Cut the deadwood. Don’t say “At this point in
time we feel we are about ready to begin to fight.” Say, “Now we’re ready to fight.” Make every word work
hard and your sentences will be powerful, full of punch.
Notice how your sentences begin. These beginnings are repetitive and boring: “We went to the
beach. We had fun. We saw seagulls. We went home.” Vary the openings and combine very short
sentences: “Despite being overrun with pesky seagulls, we had fun at the beach.”
Don’t let sentences drift on too long, either. If a sentence feels unwieldy, out of control, slice it in
half. Make two sentences. As Zinsser tells us, ‘There is no minimum length for a sentence that’s
acceptable…Among good writers, it is the short sentence that predominates.
Read your work aloud and listen to the rhythm and flow of the words. Does the fluency match the
mood and content? Long and flowing where the piece is descriptive and thoughtful. Short and snappy
where you need to make a point.
Conventions
One of the hardest tasks of the writer is to read what is on the page, not what the writer hoped would be on the page. – Donald
Murray
Conventions are the rules of language – spelling, punctuation, grammar, usage, paragraphing, and
capitalization – that make your text correct and easy for others to read. When you follow the rules,
readers don’t need to waste energy mentally editing; they can pay attention to your clever ideas, creative
organization, unique voice, vibrant word choice, and lyrical fluency.
Conventions are different from the first five traits because to improve those traits you have been learning
how to revise – how to rethink and re-see your work. Editing is fixing – making sure the text is as
error-free as possible. The purpose is to make your paper readable to someone else. Sometimes
mistakes in conventions get in the way and keep the reader from understanding your message. They also
irritate some readers – something no writer sets out to do deliberately.
Develop a proofreader’s eye. Check everything, then check it again. It’s often hard to spot your own
mistakes. Try reading aloud; it makes you slow down. You may also find it helpful to have someone else
look at your work.
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The Writing Process
Assessing your audience
Write appropriately for whoever will be reading your piece. This includes choosing vocabulary and
sentence structures to suit the reader(s). The way you write a note to your friend objecting to the
dress code is likely to be more casual than the way you write a letter on the same topic to a principal; a
letter addressed to the school board or written as a Letter to the Editor of the Statesman is likely to be
even more precise and formal.
Developing a Purpose
When making decisions about where to begin working with a topic, you need to be clear about your
purpose for writing. Here are some ideas of how to focus a paper on SPORTS.
1. You could write a NARRATIVE. A narrative tells a story about a time when something happened.
It has a beginning, middle, and end. It often has a setting and characters. One of the characters
might be you. This is a personal narrative. A narrative on the topic of sports might have these titles:
The Time I Struck Out, I Nearly Drowned, A Game I’ll Never Forget, I Thought We Would…
2. You could write an EXPOSITORY essay. Expository writing explains and provides information;
it may use a story for an example, but the purpose is not to tell a story. It is to inform or to show how.
Sets of directions, travel brochures, newspaper articles, computer manuals, school essays, and
textbooks are all examples of expository writing. For the general topic of sport, you might EXPLAIN
how to avoid sports injuries. TELL step by step how to execute a slam dunk in basketball. EXPLAIN
what it takes to be a great long distance swimmer. PROVIDE INFORMATION on the best places in
your area to buy equipment. TELL HOW to maintain ski equipment.
3. You could write a PERSUASIVE piece on sports. The purpose would be to convince someone
else to understand and appreciate your point of view. It needs to be something you feel strongly about
and you need to use specific information to build your case. Think about how focused an attorney is
as he passionately argues for his client in front of a jury. Talk a friend into joining the swimming team
with you. Convince a parent to let you bungee jump. Talk the coach into no more Saturday practices.
Persuade the School Board to add skateboarding to the school athletic program. Convince someone
that tennis is more valuable to know how to play than baseball.
4. Write a DESCRIPTION of an event, feeling, thought, or object. When you describe, you need to
use very specific words to make a vivid picture in the reader’s mind. Search out the telling details and
then surround them with words. Your description makes everything clear for the reader like bringing
the world into focus through a pair of binoculars. When your binoculars are in focus, you can see
even the tiniest and most intriguing details. You might explain to someone how it felt the day of your
first big game with the soccer team, describe equipment you need to play football, tell what it was like
to be the catcher on the baseball team when the 200 pound base runner started home from 3 rd base,
etc.
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Pre-Writing
Generate ideas through brainstorming, researching, freewriting, mapping, and outlining key ideas.
Begin organizing these ideas and narrowing your subject into a workable topic.
Drafting
 Begin by narrowing your topic to a thesis statement – one sentence that will serve as the
overall purpose of your essay.
 Broad subject: Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone
Specific topic:
Draco Malfoy
Question about the topic:
Why is Draco important to the story?
Thesis:
Draco Malfoy serves as a contrast to the goodness of Harry Potter
and his friends.
 Next, organize the information into main ideas for your paper (as a general rule, you want at least
two or three main ideas). These main ideas will be developed into topic sentences – sentences
that establish the purpose of each body paragraph.
 Now, choose a paragraph structure that will best suit your topic and writing style (such as eightsentence format or major point/minor point format).
 Then incorporate text and details to support your main ideas. Be sure to follow the rules for
quotations and internal documentation when you use information from a text.
 Finally, conclude the essay by connecting the thesis to a larger issue such as the community,
something personal, other works of literature, or world events.
Revising
This step involves moving around large blocks of text, examining the order of the paragraphs, and
assessing the detail and commentary provided in the original draft. Major changes occur at this stage
of writing.
Editing
This step involves looking for errors in mechanics, spelling, word choice, and sentence structure.
Minor changes occur in the editing step. HINT: Often reading the essay out loud or reading it from
back to front helps the writer notice previously undetected mistakes. It is also a good idea to have
another person edit the essay before the final copy.
Publishing
This is the final step in the writing process; it involves turning in a final copy of your essay. Make sure
you follow your teacher’s specific instructions for handing in the essay. Unless otherwise instructed,
use the MLA guidelines for headings and margins.
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Definition of an essay
 An ESSAY is multi-paragraph and includes an introduction, body, and conclusion. An essay is
not one paragraph or a certain number of sentences or paragraphs.
 SHORT ANSWER is a few sentences that also include a beginning, middle, and end. The basic
structure for a short answer response is main idea  supporting detail  writer's commentary 
conclusion. The following is a suggested pattern for completing short answer responses.
Five Sentence Response:
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
Answer WITH a reason.
Explain your answer.
Use a detailed and appropriate piece of the text (quotation) to illustrate what you mean.
Explain how the quotation ties to your answer.
Tie it all back to the prompt or to a main theme of the piece.
Anatomy of an Essay
The Introduction
To write a satisfactory introductory paragraph, the writer must include three fundamental parts: the
attention getter, the bridge, and the thesis statement.
 The Attention-Getter
The purpose of the attention-getter is to capture the reader’s attention, to make him or her
want to continue reading. The length of the attention-getter will vary depending on which
type you use. The following are types of attention-getters:
1.
Narrative / Anecdote – tell a true or fictional story related to your topic
2. Illustration – give a specific example related to your topic
3. Startling Statistic – provide shocking or surprising information
4. Analogy – draw a comparison between your subject and something else
5.
Rhetorical Question – use a well-chosen, relevant question (or questions) to raise the
reader’s curiosity
6. Definition – define your topic if the meaning is vague or uncommon
7.
Statement of Opposing View – for effect, build up one point of view in the attention-getter
and then change it in the thesis
8. Quotation – select a quotation from an important authority, a famous personality, or a
fragment of verse or prose that is relevant to your thesis
9. Compare / Contrast – present a series of contrasting examples
 The Bridge
Because attention getters represent broad ideas and thesis statements represent narrow,
focused ideas, directly connecting them is often awkward. However, if the ideas are not
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logically connected, the reader is required to jump across this gulf of ideas in order to make
the connection. Since the gulf must be crossed, providing a “bridge” for the reader to cross is
better than having the reader jump to a random sentence. Some readers are unable to make
the jump, so you have lost their attention before you have even begun. Take the following
example:
Attention Getter:
How many times does a National Football League team rally from
twenty-one points behind in the fourth quarter to win the game?
Thesis Statement:
The Dallas Cowboys have historically been the luckiest team in the
National Football League.
Even though these two statements are loosely connected (they both involve football), to have
the second immediately follow the first leaves the reader “in the gap” wondering what logical
connection there might be between the National Football League, twenty-one points, rallying,
and the Dallas Cowboys.
A writer must, therefore, bridge these two seemingly dissimilar ideas. Consider the following:
How often does a team come from twenty-one points behind to win in the National
Football League? In the 1997 football season, such a feat did not happen a single time.
And yet, it occurred on Sunday of the first weekend of the 1999 season during the DallasWashington football game. No one will doubt the role of luck in such a comeback, and all
teams enjoy some measure of luck at one time or another, but the Dallas Cowboy
franchise appears to have had more than its share. In fact, many consider the Cowboys to
be the luckiest franchise in the history of the National Football League.
Note how the “bridge” (underlined in the above example) works on a basic level. Three ideas
are mentioned in the thesis which are not mentioned in the attention getter. These are “the
Dallas Cowboys,” the concept of “luck,” and the opinion that “the Cowboys are lucky.” Note in
the example how we work the writing to bring the concept of the Dallas team into the essay.
Later, the concept of luck is introduced, and finally, before the thesis, the two are linked in
one sentence, and the concept comes full circle.
 Writing the Thesis Statement
1.
Write a complete sentence (simple or complex, not compound)
2. Avoid "be" verbs (am, is, are, was, were, be, being, been, has, have, had)
3. Avoid mentioning the paper such as "In this essay, I will…"
4. Make sure your thesis includes an opinion worth proving, not an observable fact.
Wrong:
My essay is about the works of John Keats and how his life affected his writing.
RIGHT:
John Keats's family history of illness and early death affected the tone of his
poetry.
Wrong:
Charles Dickens wrote many novels that include compelling child characters.
RIGHT:
Charles Dickens demonstrates poor economic conditions in Victorian England
through the experiences of his novels’ compelling child characters.
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Basic Paragraph Structure: Two Methods
Please note that these outlines provide only a guideline for structuring paragraphs. They are NOT
meant to dictate precise numbers of sentences in paragraphs or essays and should not be
interpreted rigidly. Students should adapt these structures to fit their specific evidence and main
ideas. The objective is to make sure that each body paragraph supports the thesis
statement, includes ample evidence through text, facts, and details, and includes the
writer's own thoughts and observations about the supporting detail.
 Eight Sentence Paragraph Format
This format is also called “chunk writing.” Despite the name, each paragraph can have more
than eight sentences. The writer may have additional concrete details and/or commentary.
The basic outline for this format is as follows:
I.
Topic Sentence [1]
A.
B.
C.
Concrete detail [2]
1.
Commentary [3]
2.
Commentary [4]
Concrete detail [5]
1.
Commentary [6]
2.
Commentary [7]
Summary Sentence or Transition sentence [8]
The following is an example of a paragraph written in eight-sentence format:
[topic sentence ] Draco Malfoy's harsh features indicate his tendency to cause
trouble. [concrete detail ] His "sleek blond hair and pointed chin were just like his
father's" (Rowling 194). [commentary ] The words "sleek" and "pointed" remind one
of something rigid and fixed. [commentary ] Malfoy is unwilling to compromise or try
to get along with the others at Hogwarts like his father who buys his way into getting what
he wants. [concrete detail ] Likewise, as Ron and Hermione laugh at Draco, his "lip
curl[s]" and he replies with "smirking" (194). [commentary ] The children always
wonder what ill-will Draco has in store for them behind the crooked and arrogant smile.
[commentary ] Draco's face cannot hide his malicious nature and his ability to spoil the
plans of the well-meaning students. [summary sentence ] While looks can be
deceiving, Draco's looks provide a clue to the reader that danger lurks ahead.
 Majors/Minors Paragraph Format:
While either format is acceptable, we encourage more experienced writers to explore the
majors/minors format. Major supports are general statements that the writer wishes to
prove; minor supports offer specific proof and elaboration. This format also is flexible, and
additional major or minor supports can be used as needed, as can be seen in the example.
The basic outline for the majors/minors format is:
I.
Topic Sentence
A.
Major Support
1.
Minor Support (detail, facts, evidence)
2.
Minor Support
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B.
C.
D.
Major Support
1.
Minor Support
2.
Minor Support
Major Support
1.
Minor Support
2.
Minor Support
Summary Sentence or Transition sentence
The following is an example of a paragraph written in majors/minors format:
[topic sentence ] In most cases, college students enjoy much more freedom than
high school students. [major point ] In college, students often have more free time
than they had in high school. [minor point ] For example, college classes generally
meet every other day rather than every day. [minor point ] Also, students may be in
class for three to four hours instead of seven or eight. [minor point ] However,
students must learn quickly that the extra hours in the day are best used for doing school
work since no class time is given for this in college. [major point ] College also shifts
accountability from the parents and teachers to the students. [minor point ] In many
college classes, the professor does not take roll; therefore, students are free to decide
when they will go to class. [minor point ] Likewise, students must keep up with longer
reading assignments and more information without the benefit of daily reminders and
weekly quizzes. [minor point ] Students can schedule their studying around other
events, but many learn very soon that keeping up with the professor's syllabus will result
in greater success. [major point ] New college students are generally the most excited
about social freedom. [minor point ] College co-eds, for the most part, enjoy a curfewfree environment for the first time. [minor point ] Students also spend their money as
they wish and develop their own budgets. This often results in the stereotypical phone
call home for money. [minor point ] After running out of money one time too often or
oversleeping because they stayed out too late again, college students learn the ultimate
value of budgets and curfews. [concluding statement ] Even though some of the lessons
are hard to learn, college students still find that the extra freedom they enjoy in college is
a welcome change.
Topic Sentence
A topic sentence is the one point or main idea that the body paragraph makes about the subject.
It is one reason why the thesis statement is valid.
Make sure that when you write your essay that each body paragraph has a solid topic sentence.
Since your topic sentence is one reason why the thesis is valid, your topic sentence can be a “because”
statement. For example:
Thesis statement + because + reason
My grandma’s house is my special place because her furniture is comfortable.
This whole paragraph will then describe how Grandma’s comfortable furniture makes her house a
special place.
Your topic sentences should directly reflect the idea of your thesis statement. They may even
include your thesis statement in their subject. Your reader should be able to look at any of your topic
sentences and understand what the thesis statement is without knowing your thesis statement ahead
of time.
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The rest of your body paragraph is evidence in the form of concrete detail and commentary/
elaboration (or major and minor supports).
Evidence: Support with Detail or Text
A concrete detail is a fact, quotation, piece of evidence, or statement used in support of your
topic sentence. Each body paragraph will consist of at least two concrete details on which you will
elaborate.
In the following example, the concrete detail follows the topic sentence and is underlined:
My grandma’s house is my special place because her furniture is comfortable. For example,
the minute I relax on her couch, I find myself drifting off to sleep.
In this concrete detail, the writer uses the couch as evidence of Grandma’s comfortable furniture.
Paraphrasing and Using Quotations
There are three ways you can use other people’s information:
1.
Paraphrase – rewriting the information in your own words
2. Embedded Quotation – quoting (word for word) only a few key words or phrases
3. Full Quotation –quoting (word for word) an entire sentence or paragraph
The best papers will blend all the three methods. To understand how to paraphrase and use
quotations, we will use a paragraph taken from Ray Bradbury’s afterword to his novel Fahrenheit 451.
ORIGINAL SAMPLE
Finally, many readers have written protesting Clarisse’s disappearance,
wondering what happened to her. Francois Truffaut felt the same
curiosity, and in the film version of my novel, rescued Clarisse from
oblivion and located her with the book people wandering in the forest,
reciting their litany of books to themselves. I felt the same need to
save her, for after all, she, verging on silly star-struck chatter, was in
many ways responsible for Montag’s beginning to wonder about books and
what was in them. In my play, therefore, Clarisse emerges to welcome
Montag, and give a somewhat happier ending to what was, in essence, pretty
grim stuff.
Paraphrase
 Rewrite information into your own words without changing the author’s meaning or intent.
For example:
Bradbury writes in the afterword to Fahrenheit 451 that, like the man who directed the film
version of the novel, he too feels the need to resurrect Clarisse. In the play he writes of the
novel, he does have Clarisse meet Montag at the end. This makes sense since Clarisse was so
important in awakening Montag to think for himself (178).
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Embedded Quotation
 Carefully choose a few words or a phrase to quote word for word; put the author’s exact
words in quotation marks and blend with paraphrase.
 Embedded quotations are an effective and powerful way to share the author’s exact words
while still maintaining your own voice.
 The words or phrases you choose to quote should be significant–in general, do not quote facts
(i.e. In the original example, it would be a waste of a quotation to quote “Bradbury writes in
the afterword.” There is nothing profound about that.)
For example:
Bradbury writes in the afterword to Fahrenheit 451 that when he wrote a play of his novel, he
“rescues Clarisse from oblivion,” as did the man who directed the film version of the novel
(178). Bradbury believes this is appropriate because her “silly, star-struck chatter” was crucial
in helping Montag learn to wonder and think for himself (178).
Full Quotation
 If you find a sentence, or several sentences, with such significance that not using the author’s
exact words will cause your paper to lack effectiveness or accuracy, then you may include them
word for word in your paper; put quotation marks around author’s exact words.
 Full quotations are only effective if used sparingly.
 The sentence(s) you choose to quote should be significant–again, in general, do not quote facts
For example:
Short Quotation (4 lines or fewer)
In talking about why he wrote Clarisse back into the play version of his novel, Bradbury says, “I felt
the same need to save her, for after all, she, verging on silly star-struck chatter, was in many ways
responsible for Montag’s beginning to wonder about books and what was in them” (178).
Long Quotation (more than 4 lines): Indent entire block of text one inch and omit quotation marks; in
this one instance, the punctuation goes before the internal documentation.
In talking about why he wrote Clarisse back into the play version of his novel, Bradbury says,
I felt the same need to save her, for after all, she, verging on silly star-struck chatter, was
in many ways responsible for Montag’s beginning to wonder about books and what was in
them. In my play, therefore, Clarisse emerges to welcome Montag and give a somewhat
happier ending to what was, in essence, pretty grim stuff. (178)
Omissions in Quotations
Sometimes it is necessary to take out or change part of a quotation in order to maintain the flow and
structure of your paper. These are a few guidelines:
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 If you leave out any words in a quotation in order to maintain the flow of your paper, you
must insert an ellipsis (three dots) in brackets to indicate where the omission occurs. In the
following example, the words in essence were omitted:
Example: In Bradbury’s play, “Clarisse emerges to welcome Montag, and give a
somewhat happier ending to what was […] pretty grim stuff” (178).
 Do not leave out any words that will change the meaning of a sentence you are quoting. This
is not honest.
 Also use brackets [ ] if you add words of your own or make other changes, such as using he in
place of I or changing a verb tense, to fit the quotation into the structure and grammar of your
own sentence.
Commentary and Elaboration
Commentary and elaboration are your opinion, interpretation, insight, personal response,
evaluation, reflection, or supporting evidence about a concrete detail in an essay. When you write
commentary and elaboration, you are “commenting on” a point that you have made. There are
several types of commentary or elaboration, and the acronym S C O P E may help you.
S  Statistics: Use reasonable data and/or refer to sources
Example:
[concrete detail ] Teen drivers are some of the most dangerous on the road.
[commentary ] In fact, Time magazine has stated that teens are the worst
drivers we face, and studies have shown that teens are involved in forty-seven
percent of all accidents.
C  Comparisons: Reference the detail to something that has meaning to the reader,
something to which it can be related.
Example:
[concrete detail ] Teen drivers are some of the most dangerous on the road.
[commentary ] Many drive as though they were Indy 500 racers.
O  Outcomes: Make a connection between the reason and outcome (effect)
Example:
[concrete detail ] Teen drivers are often guilty of exceeding the speed limit.
[commentary ] Driving in this manner often causes the driver to lose
control and crash.
P  Personal Anecdote: Relate a short personal story.
Example:
[concrete detail ] Teen drivers are some of the most dangerous on the road.
[commentary ] When I was younger, I was no exception. I loved speed and
would often go to deserted stretches of highway to enjoy the exhilaration of
racing down the road.
E  Example: Describe a situation or event.
Example:
[concrete detail ] Teen drivers are some of the most dangerous on the road.
[commentary ] Just last week John Smith, a sixteen year old, was clocked
by the police at eighty miles per hour while he was driving on Mellow
Meadow Dr.
13
Note that each concrete detail is followed by commentary/elaboration—an extension of the idea. In
your writing, you may mix methods of commentary and elaboration but do not leave this important
information out.
Summary Sentence
The summary sentence reflects the topic sentence. Basically, all you need to do is reword the topic
sentence. As you mature as a writer, the summary sentence can also be used as a transition sentence
into your next body paragraph.
It is important to remember never to introduce new information or new ideas in your summary
sentence. This sentence is strictly for summarizing what you have said in the body paragraph and
transitioning to the next main idea of your paper.
Transitions
Transitional words and phrases serve as a way to link your thoughts from one sentence to the next
sentence, from one idea to the next idea, or from one paragraph to the next paragraph. Transitions
also help your sentences and paragraphs flow together seamlessly by preventing jumps between
thoughts–this provides coherence. See the table below for an organized list of transitional words and
phrases.
Purpose
Sequence
Time
Comparison
Contrast
Examples
Cause and
Effect
Place
Concession
Summary/
Conclusion
Transition Words & Phrases
again, also, and, and then, besides, finally, first...second...third, furthermore, last,
moreover, next, still, too
after a bit, after a few days, after a while, afterward, as long as, as soon as, at last, at
length, at that time, before, earlier, immediately, in the meantime, in the past, lately,
later, meanwhile, now, presently, shortly, simultaneously, since, so far, soon, then,
thereafter, until, when
again, also, in the same way, likewise, once more, similarly
although, but, despite, even though, however, in contrast, in spite of, instead,
nevertheless, nonetheless, notwithstanding, on the contrary, on the one hand,
regardless, still, though, yet
after all, even, for example, for instance, indeed, in fact, of course, specifically, such as,
the following example, to illustrate
accordingly, as a result, because, consequently, for this purpose, hence, so, then,
therefore, thereupon, thus, to this end
above, adjacent to, below, beyond, closer to, elsewhere, far, farther on, here, near,
nearby, opposite to, there, to the left, to the right
although it is true that, granted that, I admit that, it may appear that, naturally, of
course
as a result, as has been noted, as I have said, as we have seen, in any event, in
conclusion, in other words, in short, on the whole, therefore, to summarize
Conclusion
Every essay should include an ending called the conclusion. For shorter essays, often a strong
concluding sentence at the end of the last body paragraph will suffice. For longer essays, however, a
separate concluding paragraph is more appropriate. (Ask your teacher for specific requirements). In
each case, the information should avoid any new information. The words should "echo" the ideas in
14
the thesis statement. The most effective conclusions will then connect the idea in the thesis to a larger
issue such as the writer himself, the community, or another related topic or literary work. One
technique for conclusions, called "bookending," relates back specifically to the original attentiongetting device in the introduction.
Guidelines for MLA Formatting
MLA Basics
1.
Paper: Your paper must be word-processed on unlined 8 ½″ x 11″ white paper.
2. Margins: Use 1″ margins on all sides of the page.
3. Name and page numbers: Your last name and page number should appear in the upper right
hand corner one-half inch from the top of the page and one inch from the right side of the paper.
(use the header function for this step). Number all pages including page one (and your works
cited page if research is involved). It should look like this: Travolta 5 (DO NOT write p. or page.
DO NOT put in a hyphen. DO NOT write your first name.)
Wrong: Travolta p. 5
Wrong: Travolta page 5
Wrong: John Travolta -5
RIGHT: Travolta 5
4. Spacing: Double space your entire paper. That means your heading, your long quotations, and
works cited. DO NOT triple or quadruple space.
5.
Heading: Your heading will appear one inch from the top and left edges of your paper only on
the first page. Double space between each of the following: your complete name, your
teacher’s name, the name of your class, and the complete date in this form: 24
October 2006. Be sure to double space; do not triple or quadruple space. See the example
below.
Travolta 1
John Travolta
Mrs. Davis
English III-1
24 October 2005
Life After Vinny Barbarino
Begin essay here….
6. Title: Return only once after the date and center your title. Use upper and lowercase letters, not
all capitals; do not enclose your title in quotation marks. Underline only words that need to be
15
underlined, such as titles of books. Return once after the title, indent and begin your first
paragraph.
7.
Indentions: Indent five spaces (or ½″) from your left margin. (one tab)
8. Paragraphing: Do not leave a single line of a paragraph at the bottom or the top of a page.
Plagiarism
“The accidental or intentional failure to identify your sources is considered plagiarism, an offense
with severe consequences.” (from The Next Level: What Colleges Expect from Your Writing)
Simply put, plagiarism is when you take an author’s words or ideas and use them in your writing
without giving him or her credit. If the idea did not occur to you before you began your research, then
you must give credit to the source that inspired it. There are four types of plagiarism:
 word-for-word plagiarism – a researcher repeats the exact words of a source without giving
the necessary credit
 paraphrase plagiarism – saying basically the same thing as an original source with just a few
words changed without a citation
 spot plagiarism – using only a source’s key words without giving credit
 self plagiarism – turning in an assignment that you have written and turned in for a previous
course or assignment
Printing papers from the Internet has become an increasingly common practice at high schools and
colleges around the nation; this too is plagiarism. It is the policy of most English departments that a
plagiarized essay will receive a grade of zero. In college, plagiarism can lead to expulsion; in the
workplace, plagiarism can result in termination.
Plagiarism can be avoided by giving credit to the author(s) of information you use. This is done
through internal documentation, also known as parenthetical documentation.
Revising and Editing
In the revising process, the writer should take the opportunity to improve the fluency of the essay by
employing a variety of sentence structures. Use the following Phrase Toolbox as a guide to sentence
variety.
Phrase Toolbox
Prepositional Phrase: (shows relationship between words)
Adjective Phrase: (which one, what kind, how many?)
 The store around the corner is painted green.
 The girl with the blue hair is angry.
Adverb phrase: (when, how, where?)
 Oscar is painting his house with the help of his friends.
 Sally is coloring outside the lines.
Infinitive phrase: (“to” with a verb.)
16




To dance gracefully is my ambition.
Her plan to become a millionaire fell through.
She wanted to become a veterinarian.
John went to college to study engineering.
Appositive phrase: (renames a noun or pronoun)


My teacher, a woman with curly hair, is very tall.
Bowser, the dog with the sharp teeth, is coming around the corner.
Participial phrase: (verb form functioning as an adjective)


Blinded by the light, Sarah walked into the concert hall.
Swimming for his life, John crossed the English Channel.
Gerund: (an “ing” verb form functioning as a noun)



Walking in the moonlight is a romantic way to end a date.
He particularly enjoyed walking in the moonlight.
Walking the dog is not my favorite task.
Absolute phrase (“ing” or “ed” form of a verb, modify the entire sentence, set off by comma)



Their minds whirling from the avalanche of information provided by
their teacher, the students made their way thoughtfully to the parking lot.
His head pounding, his hands shaking, his heart filled with
trepidation, the young man knelt and proposed marriage to his sweetheart.
The two lovers walked through the garden, their faces reflecting the
moonlight, their arms twined about each other, their footsteps
echoing in the stillness of the night.
from Laying the Foundation, AP Strategies.
In addition to working on fluency, the writer should eliminate common errors in writing. The list below is
a start. However, please note that the following list of editing guidelines is in no way a complete list of the
errors you may have made in your essay.
The Seven Deadly Sins of Bad Writing
#1: Passive Voice
In most instances, put the verb in the active voice rather than in the passive voice. Passive voice produces
a sentence in which the subject receives an action. In contrast, active voice produces a sentence in which
the subject performs an action. Passive voice often produces unclear, wordy sentences, whereas active
voice produces generally clearer, more concise sentences. To change a sentence from passive to active
voice, determine who or what performs the action, and use that person or thing as the subject of the
sentence.
Examples
Passive voice:
On April 19, 1775, arms were seized at Concord, precipitating the American Revolution.
Active voice:
On April 19, 1775, British soldiers seized arms at Concord, precipitating the American Revolution.
17
Other examples of passive voice:
1. The process of modernization in any society is seen as a positive change.
2. The Count is presented as an honest, likeable character.
3. Thomas Jefferson's support of the new Constitution was documented in a letter to James Madison.
Overuse of to be (a related problem)
Use of forms of to be (is, are, was, were) leads to wordiness. Use an action verb in place of a form of to
be.
Example:
It is the combination of these two elements that makes the argument weak.
Revision:
The combination of these two elements weakens the argument.
#2: Incorrect Punctuation of Two Independent Clauses
(An independent clause has a subject and a verb and can stand alone as a sentence.)
Good writers know that correct punctuation is important to writing clear sentences. If you misuse a mark
of punctuation, you risk confusing your reader and appearing careless. Notice how the placement of
commas significantly affects the meaning of these sentences:
Mr. Jones, says Ms. Moore, is a boring old fool.
Mr. Jones says Ms. Moore is a boring old fool.
Writers often combine independent clauses in a single compound sentence to emphasize the relationship
between ideas. The punctuation of compound sentences varies depending upon how you connect the
clauses.
The rules are
(a) Separate independent clauses with a comma when using a coordinating
conjunction (and, but, or, for, nor, so, yet).
(b) Separate independent clauses with a semi-colon when no coordinating
conjunction is used.
(c) Separate independent clauses with a semi-colon when using a conjunctive adverb
(e.g., however, therefore, thus, consequently, finally, nevertheless).
Examples of Correct Punctuation, Rule a:
1. We all looked worse than usual, for we had stayed up studying for the exam.
2. This room is unbelievably hot, and I think that I am going to pass out.
3. Monday is a difficult day for me, so I try to prepare as much as possible on Sunday.
Examples of Correct Punctuation, Rule b:
1. We all looked worse than usual; we had stayed up all night studying for the exam.
2. This room is unbelievably hot; I think I am going to pass out.
3. Monday is a difficult day for me; I have three classes and two other commitments.
Examples of Correct Punctuation, Rule c:
1. We all looked worse than usual; however, we were relieved we had studied.
2. The discussion is really interesting; nevertheless, I think I am going to pass out.
3. Monday is a difficult day for me; however, I have figured out how to prepare for it.
#3:
Wordiness
Concise writing is the key to clear communication. Wordiness obscures your ideas and frustrates your
18
reader. Make your points as succinctly as possible, and move on. As Strunk and White tell us in Elements
of Style:
Vigorous writing is concise. A sentence should contain no unnecessary words, a paragraph no
unnecessary sentences.... This requires not that the writer make all sentences short, or avoid all detail and
treat subjects only in outline, but that every word tell. (23)
Once you start searching for unnecessary words, you will find you can cut many without any loss of
meaning. In fact, your writing will be crisper and more appealing. Remember: make "every word tell."
Strategies for eliminating wordiness:
Use action verbs rather than forms of the verb to be (is, are, was, were).
Wordy
The reason that General Lee invaded Pennsylvania in June, 1863, was to draw the Army of the Potomac
away from Richmond.
Revised (replace was with action verb invaded)
General Lee invaded Pennsylvania in June, 1863, to draw the Army of the Potomac away from Richmond.
Tip: As a first step in reducing wordiness, identify instances of this is, there are, and it is at the beginning
of your sentences, and ask yourself whether you can eliminate them.
Make the real subject the actual subject of the sentence; make the real verb the actual verb.
Wordy
In Crew's argument there are many indications of her misunderstanding of natural selection.
Revised (replace subject there with argument; replace verb are with demonstrates.)
Crew's argument repeatedly demonstrates misunderstanding of natural selection.
Common sources of wordiness:
Redundancies
My personal opinion, at the present time, by means of, the basic essentials, connect together, for the
purpose of, in close proximity
Unnecessary phrases/clauses
The reason why is that
This is a subject that
In spite of the fact that
Due to the fact that
in the event that
because of the fact that
until such time as
by means of
Passive voice
In most instances, it is better to put verbs in the active voice. Passive voice produces unclear, wordy
sentences, whereas active voice produces clearer, more concise sentences.
wordy In 1935 Ethiopia was invaded by Italy.
revised In 1935 Italy invaded Ethiopia. (more concise and vigorous)
#4: Misuse of the Apostrophe
Use the apostrophe to indicate possession and to mark omitted letters in
contractions. Writers often misuse apostrophes when forming plurals and
possessives. The basic rule is quite simple: use the apostrophe to indicate
possession, not a plural. Yes, the exceptions to the rule may seem
confusing: hers has no apostrophe, and it's is not possessive. Nevertheless,
19
with a small amount of attention, you can learn the rules and the exceptions
of apostrophe use.
Possessives
Form the possessive case of a singular noun by adding 's (even if the word
ends in s).
Hammurabi's code, Dickens's last novel, James's cello
Form the possessive case of a plural noun by adding an apostrophe after the
final letter if it is an s or by adding 's if the final letter is not an s.
the students' disks, the children's toys
Remember: the apostrophe never designates the plural form of a noun.
A common error is the use of the apostrophe to form a non-possessive plural.
Compare the following correct sentences:
The student's disk was missing.
Several students' disks were missing.
The students searched for their missing disks.
Possessive pronouns, such as yours, hers, its, and ours, take no apostrophe.
The decision is yours.
Indefinite pronouns, such as anyone, everybody, no one, somebody, use the
singular possessive form.
Somebody's dog stayed in our suite last night.
Contractions
The apostrophe is used to mark omitted letters in contractions.
(Note that contractions are often considered too informal for academic writing.)
Avoid the dreadful it's/its confusion.
It's is a contraction for it is. It's is never a possessive.
Its is the possessive for it.
As Professors Strunk and White remind us in Elements of Style,
“It's a wise dog that scratches its own fleas” (1).
#5: Misplaced and Dangling Modifiers
Misplaced and dangling modifiers create illogical, even comical, sentences. We confuse our readers if we
fail to connect modifiers (words that describe or limit other words) to the words they modify; be sure to
place modifiers next to the words they modify. See the illogic in this example:
Walking back from the village, my wallet was lost. (Does your wallet walk?)
Revised
Walking back from the village, I lost my wallet. (Your wallet doesn't walk, but you do.)
A misplaced modifier is a word or phrase that due to its placement mistakenly refers to the
wrong word. The modifier truly is misplaced.
20
To correct a misplaced modifier, move it next to or near the word it modifies.
A fine athlete and student, the coach honored the captain of the tennis team.
(The coach was not the fine athlete and student.)
Revised
The coach honored the captain of the tennis team, a fine athlete and student.
Limiting modifiers (only, almost, nearly, just) are commonly misplaced. To avoid
ambiguity, place them in front of the word they modify.
Marsh's evidence reinforces the view that the artist only intended the images for a local audience.
Revised
Marsh's evidence reinforces the view that the artist intended the images only for a local audience.
******
A dangling modifier is a (usually introductory) word or phrase that the writer intends to
use as a modifier of a following word, but the following word is missing. The result is an
illogical statement.
To fix a dangling modifier, add the missing word and place the modifier next to it.
Acting on numerous complaints from students, a fox was found near Root.
(The fox did not act on the complaint.)
Revised
Acting on numerous complaints from students, security found a fox near Root.
After reading the original study, the flaws in Lee's argument are obvious.
Revised
Reading the original study reveals obvious flaws in Lee's argument.
Dangling modifiers go hand-in-hand with wordiness and passive voice.
Correct one and you correct them all!
#6: Pronoun Problems
Pronouns are useful as substitutes for nouns, but a poorly chosen pronoun can obscure the meaning of a
sentence. Common pronoun errors include
Unclear Pronoun Reference
A pronoun must refer to a specific noun (the antecedent). Ambiguous pronoun reference
creates confusing sentences.
Writers should spend time thinking about their arguments to make sure they are not superficial. (Unclear
antecedent: who or what are superficial?)
A key difference between banking crises of today and of yesterday is that they have greater global impact.
(Which crises have more impact?)
If a whiff of ambiguity exists, use a noun:
A key difference between banking crises of today and yesterday is that today’s crises have greater global
impact.
Vague Subject Pronoun
Pronouns such as it, there, and this often make weak subjects.
21
Pope Gregory VII forced Emperor Henry IV to wait three days in the snow at Canossa before granting him
an audience. It was a symbolic act.
To what does it refer? Forcing the Emperor to wait? The waiting? The granting of the audience? The
audience? The entire sentence?
Use a pronoun as subject only when its antecedent is crystal clear.
Agreement Error
A pronoun must agree in gender and number with its antecedent. A common error is the
use of the plural pronoun they to refer to a singular noun.
In the original state constitution, they allowed polygamy.
They (plural) refers to constitution (singular).
Revised:
The original state constitution allowed polygamy.
It is often better to use a plural noun and pronoun than to use a singular noun and pronoun. Note that
indefinite pronouns such as each and everyone are singular.
Each student must meet his or her advisor. (correct but awkward)
Each student must meet with their advisor. (incorrect: singular noun, plural pronoun)
Students must meet with their advisors. (correct: plural noun and pronoun)
#7: Committing Pet Peeves
Learning to write clearly and effectively is a central part of your education. As the Hamilton College
Catalogue notes, "The college expects its students to think, write and speak with clarity, understanding
and precision." Below is a list of professors' pet peeves you should bear in mind as you aim for "clarity,
understanding and precision" in your writing.
Pet Peeve
Problem
Correction
Pronoun antecedent
agreement
The student finished the essay only to
discover that their printer did not
work.
The student finished the essay only to
discover that his printer did not work.
Bloated diction
Once liberty is actualized, justice will
burgeon.
With liberty, justice grows.
Use of “I” as
object of a verb
They went with Richard and I to tour
the Coliseum.
They went with Richard and me to tour the
Coliseum.
Indefinite
antecedent
President Johnson’s ignoring of George
Ball’s Vietnam memo proved disastrous
for him. (for whom?)
President Johnson’s ignoring of George
Ball’s Vietnam memo proved disastrous for
the president. (for whom?)
Loose vs. lose
Forecasters fear that stocks will loose
value next year. (loose rhymes with
goose)
Forecasters fear that stocks will lose value
next year. (lose rhymes with shoes)
Than vs. then
The report indicates that Americans
work more hours then Europeans.
The report indicates that Americans work
more hours than Europeans.
Affect vs. effect
We studied the affect of the angle on
acceleration. (affect is generally a verb)
We studied the effect of the angle on
acceleration. (effect is a noun)
Less vs. fewer
Pizza has less calories than French
fries.
Pizza has fewer calories than French fries.
Who vs. which
or that
Johnny is the one that made an “A.”
Johnny is the one who made an “A.”
22
Indefinite you
When you read the poem, you notice
the theme immediately.
After reading the poem, the audience notices
the theme immediately.
Abbreviations
Freebirds originated in College Station,
TX.
Freebirds originated in College Station,
Texas. (YUM!!)
Preposition at
the end of the
sentence
Where is the library at?
Where is the library?
Who are you going with?
With whom are you going?
Expletive
sentence
beginnings
There are eight blocks in our schedule.
Our schedule has eight blocks.
Progressive
verb tense
The writer is stating that life is fragile.
The writer states that life is fragile.
Literary present
tense
The world portrayed in Fahrenheit 451
was one in which books were banned.
The world portrayed in Fahrenheit 451 is
one in which books are banned.
A lot
I enjoyed reading the novel a lot. (A lot
is a piece of land. Do not use is to
describe a large amount of something.)
I enjoyed reading the novel tremendously.
Revision Checklist
This checklist is suited for expository writing and the research paper; however, it can also be used with
other essays. Be sure to read over your assignment carefully since your teacher may have specific
requirements not indicated on this form.
Format
_____
Did I follow the MLA guidelines for my heading?
_____
Did I follow the MLA guidelines for my page numbers?
_____
Did I double-space throughout?
_____
Did I indent quotations of more than four lines?
Introduction
_____
Will the introduction capture the reader’s attention?
_____
Does my introduction present my thesis statement clearly?
_____
Is there a bridge between my attention-getter and my thesis?
_____
Did I eliminate “to be” verbs in my thesis statement?
_____
Have I eliminated the words essay, paper, paragraphs?
General
_____
Does my paper adequately support or prove my thesis statement?
23
_____
Does my paper have a clear introduction, body, and conclusion?
_____
Do my ideas flow logically from one to the other?
_____
Have I used transitions?
_____
Do the body paragraphs of my paper present evidence from a variety of reliable
sources?
_____
Is information from my sources presented in a combination of summary,
paraphrase, quotation, and embedded quotation?
_____
Have I used internal (parenthetical) documentation? (if applicable)
_____
Did I follow the MLA guidelines for internal documentation? (if applicable)
_____
Did I eliminate the word you?
Conclusion
_____
Does the conclusion give my reader a sense of completion? Are all the loose ends
tied up? Has my thesis been supported? Did I leave my reader with one last
powerful thought?
_____
Is my conclusion more than two sentences? (It should be.)
_____
Did I eliminate phrases like “I hope you enjoyed my paper” “That’s about it”
“Thank you for reading my paper”?
Works Cited (if applicable)
_____
Are my entries alphabetical? (DO NOT NUMBER!)
_____
Did I cite all the sources I used?
_____
Do I have any extra sources listed that I did not use? (If so, remove them.)
_____
Did I double space throughout?
_____
Do I have a page number?
_____
Did I indent the second and subsequent lines? (hanging indent)
_____
Did I follow MLA guidelines?
24
Resources
The Writing Handbook. A&M Consolidated High School English Department. College Station, TX. 20032004.
The Next Level: What Colleges Expect from Your Writing, Edited by Lisa Smith Nielsen; Publisher:
Association of Texas Colleges and Universities, 2002.
MLA Handbook for Writers of Research Papers Fifth Edition, by Joseph Gibaldi; Publisher: The Modern
Language Association of America, 1999.
Keys for Writers: A Brief Handbook Second Edition, by Ann Raimes; Publisher: Haughton Mifflin
Company, 1999.
Crafting Expository Argument: Practical Approaches to the Writing Process for Students and Teachers
Fourth Edition, by Michael Degan; Publisher: Telemachos Publishing; 2002.
The 500-Word Theme Fourth Edition, by Lee J. Martin and Harry P. Kroiter; Publisher: Prentice-Hall
Inc., 1984.
Purdue University Online Writing Lab. http://owl.english.purdue.edu/
The Seven Deadly Sins of Bad Writing. Hamilton College Writing Center.
http://www.hamilton.edu/academics/resource/wc/sins/sin7.html
The Six Plus One Traits of Good Writing.
(Thanks to E. Davis and colleagues of Westwood HS for this guide)
25
THE YELLOW PAGES
(updated 7/14)
(2014-2015 - everything you always wanted to know about AP English IV, but were afraid to ask!)
Table of Contents
Topic: Tone Words
Page
Tone: Positive (happiness, pleasure, friendliness/courtesy, animation, romance,
tranquility
28
Tone: Neutral (general, rational/logical, self-control, apathy)
28
Tone: Humor/Irony/Sarcasm
29
Tone: Negative (general, sadness, pain, unfriendliness, anger, passion, arrogance/
self-importance, sorrow/fear/worry
29
Tone: Negative (submission/timidity)
29
Verbs: for literary analysis
30
Verbs: to use instead of exemplifies
31
Adjectives for Use in Literary/Rhetorical Discussion: Describing the author
32
Adjectives for Use in Literary/Rhetorical Discussion: Describing the style/content
32
Adjectives for Use in Literary/Rhetorical Discussion: Describing the diction
33
Adjectives for Use in Literary/Rhetorical Discussion: Describing the syntax
32
Adjectives for Use in Literary/Rhetorical Discussion: Describing the
organization/structure/point of view
32
Adjectives for Use in Literary/Rhetorical Discussion: Describing the imagery
33
Adjectives for Use in Literary/Rhetorical Discussion: Describing the characters
(physical qualities)
33
Adjectives for Use in Literary/Rhetorical Discussion: Describing the characters
(mental qualities)
34
Adjectives for Use in Literary/Rhetorical Discussion: Describing the characters
(moral qualities)
34
Adjectives for Use in Literary/Rhetorical Discussion: Describing the characters
(spiritual qualities)
34
Adjectives for Use in Literary/Rhetorical Discussion: Describing the characters
34
26
(social qualities)
Nouns for Use in Literary/Rhetorical Discussion (analyzing characters,
structure/organization/point of view, syntax, genre/purpose, sound devices)
35
The Language of Argument
36
Transition Words
36
Theme (vocabulary and identifying theme)
38
Developing an Analytical Voice
40
How to Connect Rhetorical Choices to Meaning (diction, syntax, imagery)
41
How to Connect Rhetorical Choices to Meaning (metaphor, simile, personification)
42
How to Connect Rhetorical Choices to Meaning (hyperbole, symbol)
43
How to Connect Rhetorical Choices to Meaning (detail, allusion)
44
Writing Errors to Avoid
47
Aristotle and the Appeals of Rhetoric
48-49
Rhetorical Web diagram [as created by David Jolliffe, former Chief Reader]
50
Heroes and Villains
51
AP Grading Rubric
56
Poetry Terms
57
Rhetorical Terms
59
3 C’s Paragraph Writing
65
SOAPS(tone) Method (poetry)
66
TPS-FASTT (poetry)
68
AIM (poetry)
69
Vendler Diagram
70
27
A VOCABULARY FOR DESCRIBING LANGUAGE 2010-2011
TONE
TONE (POSITIVE)
Happiness
amiable*
elevated*
elevated*
sprightly*
cheery
contented*
ecstatic
enthusiastic
exuberant*
joyful
jubilant*
enraptured*
amused
peaceful
appreciative
playful
whimsical*
pleasant
approving
caressing
comforting
cordial*
courteous
forgiving
indulgent*
sociable
kindly
solicitous*
obliging*
soothing
pitying
tolerant
trusting
breathless
earnest*
hasty
passionate
brisk
ecstatic
hearty
rapturous*
crisp
energetic
hopeful
vigorous*
eager
exalted*
inspired
Romance
affectionate
lustful
amorous*
sensual*
erotic*
tender
fanciful*
ideal*
Tranquility
calm
relaxed
hopeful
soothing
meditative*
spiritual
optimistic
dreamy
serene
baffled*
ceremonial
clinical*
factual
nostalgic*
formal
objective*
informative
questioning
sentimental*
shocked
urgent
argumentative
deliberate
candid*
didactic*
coaxing
doubting
incredulous*
indignant*
innocent
oracular*
pensive*
persuasive
Pleasure
cheerful
satisfied
Friendliness, Courtesy
accommodating*
compassionate
confiding
gracious*
helpful
polite
sympathetic
tender
Animation
ardent*
excited
feverish*
lively
impassioned*
TONE (NEUTRAL)
General
authoritative*
detached*
disbelieving
matter-of-fact
reminiscent*
restrained*
Rational/Logical
admonitory*
curious
explanatory
frank*
insinuating*
instructive
learned
critical
pleading
28
preoccupied*
thoughtful
uncertain
puzzled
sincere
studied*
unequivocal*
probing*
Self-Control
solemn*
gentle
wary*
serious
temperate*
cautious
serene
imperturbable*
prudent*
simple
nonchalant*
Apathy
blasé*
bored
colorless
defeated
feeble*
languid*
helpless
monotonous*
sophisticated*
vacant*
bitter
cynical*
giddy*
caustic*
disdainful*
humorous
comical
droll*
joking
malicious*
mock-
patronizing*
pompous*
sarcastic
silly
belittling
uproarious
sardonic*
taunting
haughty*
satiric*
teasing
insulting
agitated*
belligerent*
coarse*
angry
bitter
cold
arrogant
brash*
critical
desperate
disinterested
hurtful
passive
indignant*
mild
cool
dispassionate*
dry*
dull
indifferent*
inert*
resigned*
sluggish*
stoical*
TONE (HUMOR/IRONY/SARCASM)
amused
bantering*
condescending*
contemptuous*
facetious*
flippant*
insolent*
ironic*
irreverent*
heroic*
mocking
mock-serious*
quizzical*
ribald*
ridiculing
scornful*
sharp
whimsical*
wry*
playful
hilarious
TONE(NEGATIVE)
General
accusing
aggravated*
artificial
audacious*
childish
choleric*
condemnatory
condescending
contradictory
disappointed
disgruntled*
disgusted
harsh
hateful
inflammatory*
insulting
irritated
quarrelsome shameful
threatening
uninterested
manipulative*
superficial
furious
obnoxious*
surly*
testy*
Sadness
despairing
melancholy*
despondent*
maudlin*
foreboding*
regretful
gloomy
tragic
Pain
annoyed
biter
bored
crushed
dismal*
fretful*
irritable
pathetic
sour
vexed*
plaintive*
sulky
worried
querulous*
sullen”
disappointed
disgusted
miserable
mournful
sorrowful
uneasy*
hopeless
bleak
sore
troubled
29
Unfriendliness
accusing
derisive*
disparaging*
severe
reproachful*
belittling
boorish*
cutting
impudent*
spiteful
pitiless
suspicious
reproving*
unsociable
scolding
Anger
belligerent*
indignant*
furious
enraged
livid*
wrathful*
savage
Passion
fierce
frantic*
greedy
voracious*
impetuous*
wild
impulsive*
jealous
condescending
contemptuous
pedantic*
didactic*
confident
defiant
imperious*
peremptory*
stiff
impressive
profound*
saucy*
anxious
apologetic*
apprehensive*
depressed
hollow*
paranoid*
disturbed
morose*
pessimistic
embarrassing
nervous
poignant*
staid*
enigmatic*
alarmed
ashamed
astonished
contrite*
self-deprecatory*
docile*
ingratiating*
meek*
modest*
resigned
submissive*
tremulous*
respectful
surprised
unpretentious*
reverent*
sycophantic*
willing
hysterical
insane
reckless
Arrogance/Self-Importance
boastful
bold
pretentious*
pompous*
supercilious*
bombastic*
self-righteous*
assured
dignified
domineering
egotistical
knowing
lofty
resolute*
sententious*
Sorrow/Fear/Worry
aggravated
concerned
confused
grave*
ominous*
remorseful*
serious
Submission/Timidity
aghast*
astounded
awed
fawning*
groveling*
obedient]
obsequious*
shy
timid
nervous
smug*
proud
fearful
numb
servile*
terrified
VERBS
These verbs will be especially effective when the subject is the author or a character. They are excellent
replacements for “be” verbs and instrumental in the formulation of thesis and theme statements. Careful use of
these verbs can result in precise identification of an author’s purpose. Follow your teacher’s directions to categorize
the verbs as transitive, intransitive, positive, negative, or neutral.
VERBS FOR LITERARY ANALYSIS
accentuates
accepts
advocates*
achieves
adopts
30
affects
analyzes
alleviates
approaches
allows
argues
alludes*
ascertains*
alters*
attacks
believes
attempts
challenges
attributes*
changes
avoids
claims
comments
concerns
concludes
confronts*
considers
contributes
conveys
demonstrates
depicts*
details
differs
determines
directs
displays
disputes
downplays
encounters
evokes
expresses
dramatizes
enhances
excludes
extends
forces
foreshadows
heightens
identifies
highlights
illustrates
hints
implies*
intends
includes
interprets
indicates
juxtaposes*
lambasts”
maintains
moralizes*
organizes
permits
makes
muses*
overstates
personifies*
manages
notes
outlines
postulates*
projects
questions
recollects
regards
reveals
prepares
promotes
rationalizes
records
regrets
ridicules
presents
proposes
reasons
recounts
rejects
selects
specifies
suggests
symbolizes
values
summarizes
sympathizes
verifies*
supplies
traces
attests to
defines
elucidates*
certifies
demonstrates
endorses*
confirms
denotes*
assesses*
assumes
bases
characterizes
chooses
chronicles
compares
compels*
completes
condescends
conducts
conforms
contends*
contests*
contrasts
convinces
defines
defies
describes
delineates*
despises
deviates*
differentiates*
disappoints
discovers
discusses
disrupts*
distinguishes
distorts*
elicits*
emphasizes
enumerates*
envisions
experiences
explains
extrapolates*
fantasizes
focuses
functions
generalizes*
guides
holds
honors
illuminates
imagines
impels*
infers*
inspires
interrupts
inundates*
justifies
laments*
lampoons*
lists
manipulates
minimizes
observes
opposes
patronizes*
performs
persuades
ponders*
portrays
presumes
produces
provides
qualifies*
recalls
recites
reflects
refers
represents
results
satirizes*
seems
sees
speculates*
states
strives*
supports
suppresses*
understands
vacillates*
VERBS TO USE INSTEAD OF EXEMPLIFIES
appears
asserts
connotes*
corroborates*
depicts
discloses*
establishes
develops
elevates
enriches
expands
31
evinces*
exhibits
expounds*
exposes
intimates*
manifests*
shows
validates*
points to
substantiates*
proves
suggests
ratifies*
typifies*
relates
upholds
ADJECTIVES FOR USE IN LITERARY/RHETORICAL DISCUSSION
DESCRIBING THE AUTHOR
cultured
intellectual
sagacious*
sensible
rational
imaginative
perceptive
visionary*
minded*
idealistic*
spiritual
sympathetic
sophisticated*
original
conservative*
liberal*
progressive*
unprejudiced
realistic*
romantic*
opinionated*
intolerant
provincial*
narrow-minded*
sentimental
DESCRIBING STYLE/CONTENT
lucid*
graphic*
exact
concise*
piquant*
aphoristic*
metaphorical
poetic
prosaic*
homespun*
pure
vigorous*
sonorous*
fluent
glib*
polished*
classical
extravagant
rhetorical*
turgid*
obscure*
vague
diffuse*
ponderous*
ungraceful
harsh
awkward
unpolished
crude*
utilitarian*
humanistic*
impressionistic*
subjective*
melodramatic*
plausible*
credible*
recondite*
improbable*
absurd
trivial
DESCRIBING DICTION
high or formal
low or informal
concrete
abstract*
homespun
erudite*
well-read
philosophic*
analytical
prophetic*
optimistic
orthodox*
unorthodox*
whimsical*
humorous
radical*
reactionary*
shallow
hypocritical*
superficial
fanatical*
skeptical*
cynical*
intelligible*
succinct*
syllogistic*
explicit*
condensed*
allusive*
plain
simple
forceful
eloquent*
natural
artistic
restrained*
bombastic*
pompous*
grandiose*
verbose*
pedantic*
abrupt*
labored*
vulgar*
pragmatic*
formal
naturalistic*
fanciful*
authentic*
controversial
mystical*
commonplace
heretical*
neutral
plain
precise
simple
broad-
bigoted
precise
pithy*
smooth
artificial
exact
32
esoteric*
figurative*
connotative*
provincial*
neologistic*
inexact
pedantic*
bombastic*
emotional
obtuse*
proper
learned
cultured
literal*
symbolic
colloquial*
picturesque*
slang*
sensuous*
idiomatic*
euphemistic*
trite*
obscure*
grotesque
vulgar*
jargon*
moralistic*
pretentious*
ordinary
old-fashioned
scholarly
insipid*
interrupted
declarative*
simple*
DESCRIBING SYNTAX
loose sentence
periodic*
balanced*
compound*
complex*
compound-complex*
interrogative*
imperative*
exclamatory*
telegraphic*
inverted*
euphonic*
rhythmical
epigrammatic*
incoherent
rambling
tortuous
jerky
monotonous
spare
austere*
unadorned*
obfuscating*
journalistic*
terse*
mellifluous*
musical
lilting*
lyrical*
DESCRIBING ORGANIZATION/STRUCTURE/POINT OF VIEW
spatial*
chronological
flashback
res*
step-by-step
objective*
subjective*
reminiscent
contemplative*
reflective*
clinical*
dramatic*
omniscient*
limited*
literary
antithetic*
emphatic
cacophonic*
jumbled
laconic*
chaotic
elegant
solid
flash forward*
in media
nostalgic*
impersonal*
DESCRIBING IMAGERY (Substitute these precise adjectives for less precise ones such as vivid, colorful, and
powerful.)
bucolic*
pastoral*
gustatory*
olfactory*
tactile*
kinetic*
kinesthetic*
sensual*
sacred
sexual
auditory*
religious
animal
war/military
chaotic
DESCRIBING CHARACTERS (Great substitutions for pretty and ugly!)
Physical Qualities
manly
virile*
robust*
strapping*
stalwart*
muscular
fair
comely*
handsome
graceful
elegant
shapely
winsome*
ravishing*
dapper*
immaculate
dexterous*
adept*
skillful
agile*
lively
spirited*
vivacious*
sickly
frail
decrepit*
cadaverous*
effeminate*
unwomanly
hideous
unkempt*
slovenly*
awkward
ungainly*
hardy*
brawny*
dainty
attractive
sturdy
lovely
delicate
adroit*
nimble*
weak
emaciated*
active
feeble*
homely*
clumsy
course*
33
graceless
repellent*
invidious*
loathsome*
bizarre*
repugnant*
grotesque
repulsive
incongruous*
odious*
ghastly
Mental Qualities (Great substitutions for smart and stupid! Which comments would you like to see on your
papers?)
educated
erudite*
scholarly
wise
astute*
intellectual
precocious*
capable
competent
gifted
apt*
rational
reasonable
sensible
shrewd*
prudent*
observant
clever
ingenious*
inventive
subtle*
cunning*
crafty*
wily*
unintelligent
unschooled*
unlettered*
ignorant
illiterate*
inane*
irrational
puerile*
foolish
fatuous*
vacuous*
simple
thick-skulled*
idiotic
imbecilic*
witless*
deranged*
demented*
articulate*
eloquent*
Moral Qualities (Great substitutions for good and bad!)
idealistic*
innocent
virtuous*
righteous*
guileless*
upright*
exemplary
undefiled*
temperate*
abstentious*
puritanical*
truthful
honorable
straightforward*
decent
respectable
wicked
degenerate*
notorious*
vicious
incorrigible*
infamous*
immoral*
unprincipled*
reprobate*
indecent*
ribald*
vulgar*
intemperate*
dissolute*
deceitful
dishonest
unscrupulous*
vile*
foul*
recalcitrant*
opportunistic*
Spiritual Qualities (More great substitutions for good and bad!)
religious
reverent
pious*
regenerate*
holy
saintly
skeptical*
agnostic*
atheistic*
irreligious*
irreverent*
profane*
sacrilegious*
materialistic
diabolic*
fiendlike*
blasphemous*
altruistic*
charitable
Social Qualities (Terrific substitutions for nice and mean!)
civil*
amicable*
contentious*
tactful*
courteous
cooperative
hospitable*
gracious*
amiable*
congenial*
convivial*
jovial*
jolly
anti-social*
acrimonious*
quarrelsome
misanthropic*
discourteous
impudent*
impolite
faultless
chaste*
austere*
trustworthy
pure
ascetic*
corrupt*
dissembling*
depraved*
sensual*
dishonorable*
philandering*
base*
devout*
angelic
faithful
impious*
carnal*
unregenerate*
godless
unpolished*
genial*
cordial*
sullen*
affable*
urbane*
antagonistic*
suave*
insolent*
ill-bred
34
ill-mannered
brusque*
sniveling*
grumpy
petulant*
waspish*
garrulous*
unrefined
churlish*
rustic*
fawning*
provincial*
obsequious*
fractious*
crusty*
peevish*
taciturn*
reticent*
gregarious*
boorish*
NOUNS FOR USE IN LITERARY/RHETORICAL DISCUSSION
ANALYZING CHARACTERS
foil*
nemesis*
antagonist*
confidante*
doppelganger*
adversary*
protagonist*
narrator (unknown, reliable, naïve)
ANALYZING STRUCTURE/ORGANIZATION/POINT OF VIEW
foreshadowing
epiphany*
analogy*
extended metaphor*
parallel structure
comparison/contrast
transition
sequence
definition
juxtaposition*
anecdote*
frame story*
arrangement
classification
categorization
placement
person (first, second, third)*
perspective (chronological, geographic, emotional, political)*
ANALYZING SYNTAX
repetition
parallelism
anaphora*
polysyndeton*
subject*
predicate*
object*
object*
phrase*
clause*
infinitive*
modifier*
dependent clause*
independent clause*
preposition*
conjunction*
interjection*
deliberate fragment*
emphatic appositive*
semicolon*
colon*
question*
noun*
comma
pronoun*
proper noun*
collective noun*
abstract noun*
concrete noun*
dialogue*
chiasmus*
parenthetical expression footnote
capitalization for effect
antecedent*
hyphen*
dash*
active voice*
catalogue*
compound nouns/adjectives
IDENTIFYING GENRE/PURPOSE
novel
novella*
biography
letter
sermon
abstract*
précis*
synopsis
travelogue
essay*
commentary*
farce*
conceit*
assessment
eulogy*
allegory*
apology
soliloquy*
archetype*
fable*
argument
shifts
asyndeton*
direct object*
indirect
participle*
subordinate clause*
gerund*
appositive*
rhetorical
common noun*
apostrophe*
inversion*
passive voice*
tense
autobiography*
memoir*
speech
treatise*
critique*
diatribe*
personal narrative
polemic*
journey
editorial*
elegy*
tirade*
parody*
review
monologue*
portrayal
verse
35
IDENTIFYING SOUND DEVICES
alliteration*
assonance*
end rhyme*
feminine rhyme*
rhyme* incremental rhyme*
consonance*
masculine rhyme*
repetition*
meter*
rhyme*
slant
THE LANGUAGE OF ARGUMENT
VERBS
attack
challenge
validate
answer
concede*
grant*
assert
NOUNS
warrant
solution
accountability
vested interest
logos*
deduction*
induction*
audience
testimonial*
rebuttal*
bandwagon*
refutation
rhetoric*
invective*
herring*
qualifier*
charge
qualify
confirm
agree/disagree
claim
counter
affirm*
verify
propose
repudiate*
argue
resolve
defend
allege*
assume
generalize
specify
debate
dispute
validity
resolution
plausibility*
bias
practicality
credibility
proposal
conflict of interests
counterargument
enthymeme*
premise*
pathos*
syllogism*
ethos*
fallacy*
purpose
ad hominem
message
exigence*
precedent*
speaker
antithesis*
non sequitur*
circular reasoning*
slippery slope*
anecdote*
advocacy*
proponent*
assertion
adherent *
begging the question*
justification
cause/effect
red
TRANSITION WORDS
Time
Place
Idea
Extending
elaboration
by
comparing
Extending
elaboration
by
contrasting
after,
afterward,
at first, as
before,
finally,
immediately,
later, next,
now,
previously,
soon, then
above,
ahead,
among,
beyond,
down,
elsewhere,
farther,
here, in
front of, in
the
background,
near,
first,
second,
third,
similarly,
as, in the
same
way, for
instance,
likewise,
however
as, at the
same time,
by
comparison,
equally, in
the same
manner,
likewise,
similarly
although, and
yet, as, as
though, at the
same time,
but, in
contrast,
conversely,
even so,
unlike, even
though,
however, in
spite of,
Extending
Extending
elaboration by
elaboration
emphasizing/clarifying by adding
another
example
especially, for instance, moreover,
in fact, indeed, that is,
most
in other words
important,
now, so ,
additionally,
again, also,
especially,
in addition,
in fact, last,
again, also,
besides,
equally
36
nearby, next
to, there
instead of,
neither,
nevertheless,
on the one
hand, on the
other hand,
provided that,
though,
unfortunately,
whereas, yet
important,
furthermore,
similarly, in
contrast
Transition list from Crafting Expository Argument by Michael
Degen
THEME VOCABULARY
Brendan Kenny’s List of Abstract Ideas for Forming Theme Statements:
alienation
ambition
appearance v. reality
betrayal
bureaucracy
chance/fate/luck
children
courage/cowardice
cruelty/violence
custom/tradition
defeat/failure
despair/discontent/disillusionment
domination/suppression
dreams/fantasies
duty
education
escape
exile
identity
illusion/innocence
initiation
instinct
law/justice
prophecy
repentance
revenge/retribution
ritual/ceremony
scapegoat/victim
social status (class)
loneliness/solitude
the supernatural
loyalty/disloyalty
time/eternity
materialism
war
memory/the past
women/feminism
journey (literal or
psychological)
faith/loss of faith
falsity/pretence
family/parenthood
free will/willpower
game/contests/sports
greed
guilt
heart v. reason
persistence/perseverance
poverty
prejudice
mob psychology
heaven/paradise/Utopia
home
music/dance
patriotism
37
IDENTIFYING THEME
Method A (sample from Writing Essays about Literature by Kelley Griffith):
Subject
1.
What is the work about? Provide a one to three word answer. See “Theme Vocabulary” above.
Theme
2.
What is the author’s message with regard to #1 as it pertains to the human condition? In other words,
what
comment does the work make on human nature, the human condition, human motivation, or human
ambition?
3.
In identifying and stating theme, be sure that the observation
(a) is not too terse to express the complexity of the human experience
(b) avoids moralizing words such as should and ought
(c) avoids specific reference to plot and characters
(d) avoids absolute words such as anyone, all, none, everything, and everyone
4.
Using both dependent and independent clauses, write a complex sentence which fulfills the
requirements above
and which explains one of the major themes of the work.
Sample for Anna Karenina:
Subject: sacred versus profane love
Theme: Although people can, through no fault of their own, become entrapped in long-lasting and destructive
relationships, “sacred” commitments, like marriage and parenthood, take precedence over extramarital “loves,”
no matter how passionate and deeply felt they may be.
IDENTIFYING THEME
38
Method B (adapted from material by Brendan Kenny):
1.
Theme is an abstract idea (See “Theme Vocabulary” above.) coupled with a universal comment or
observation
which addresses one of the following: (a) human motivation (b) the human condition (c)
human ambition.
2.
A strategy for discovering a work’s theme is to apply questions about these areas to the work.
If people
* What image of humankind emerges from the work? If people are good, what good things do they do?
are “no damned good” (Mark Twain), how and to what extent are they flawed?
*What moral issues are raised in the work? Who serves as the “moral center” of the work? Who is the
one person
with whom the author vests right action and right thought? What values does the moral center
embody?
* Is the society or social scheme portrayed by the author life-enhancing or life-destroying? What
causes and
perpetuates this society?
* What control over their lives do the characters have? Are there forces beyond their control?
* How do the title, subtitle, epigraph, and names of the characters relate to the theme?
3.
In identifying and stating theme, be sure that the observation
(a) is not too terse to express the complexity of the human experience
(b) avoids moralizing words such as should and ought
(c) avoids specific reference to plot and characters
(d) avoids absolute words such as anyone, all, none, everything, and everyone
4.
Sample for “The Most Dangerous Game”:
Men, when they are courageous and lucky, even in a hostile environment, can overcome the odds
against their
survival.
our
Sample for The Catcher in the Rye:
In the presence of corruption, escape may provide some hope of preserving our innocence but denies
responsibility to alter, rebel against or sometimes grow to accept what we see as threatening.
39
Developing an Analytical Voice
Level One: Identify how the situation is created; observe what you see
(collecting evidence)
Diction: what types of words are used or repeated?
Imagery: How is the image created? What are its parts? What senses are provoked?
Detail: What’s the setting? Who are the characters? What are the facts of the text
that don’t require quoting its language?
Level Two: What abstract
associations
emerge from the language of the text?
Arrogance?
This list of “Level
Two” words is only
a sample list. Any
abstract noun that
names what the
evidence (Level
One) conveys may
be appropriate. See
page 12, (theme
vocabulary) for
additional ideas or
generate your own.
Fear?
Excitement?
Violence?
Chaos?
Order?
Submission?
Confidence?
Confinement?
Freedom?
Benevolence?
Level Three: Identify the
relationships
to the rest of the text:
The association
may be part of a larger
Interpretive
Perspective /
CLAIM about:
Tone
repetition [similarity, analogy, recurrence, echo, parallelism]
Attitude
Voice
contrast [incongruity, antithesis, opposition, tension]
Atmosphere
shift [turn, transformation, alteration]
Character
juxtaposition [contiguity, adjacency]
Thematic idea
Ethical appeal
Logical appeal
Emotional appeal
Aristotle’s Topics:
definition, comparison,
consequence
40
© 2008 Michael Degen, Ph.D. (adapted by Jennifer Cullen, Westwood High School)
How to Connect Rhetorical Choices to Meaning
NOTE: In general, a connection of device to meaning should be 3-5 sentences long. The templates
below are a starting place; you will eventually learn to vary them to suit your purposes. A
connection must articulate the meaning a device suggests and HOW this suggestion is
achieved.
Diction


Identify the grammatical unit (phrase, noun, verb, adjective, adverb, etc.) and provide the
context in which it appears in the text. Consider connotation as well as denotation. Do
NOT write: The writer uses diction. That’s like saying: The writer uses words.
Connect the diction to the meaning of this text. Avoid generic commentary. Provide an
original insight. Pay attention to your own diction. It enhances your analysis.
Model:
The phrase* ____________________________ used to
describe/identify__________________________________ conveys _______________________ since /
because / in that ___________________________________________ ______________. This is
significant because _______________________________________________________.
* or the noun, verb,
adjective, adverb
Example:
The phrase, “a thin beard of ivy,” used to describe Jay Gatsby’s mansion conveys both intrigue and
inexperience. Since the ivy is “thin,” Fitzgerald suggests a wealth without lineage, newly formed and
barely veiled; yet, the ivy as a “beard” suggests a worldly desire to conceal. This is significant because
through the description of his mansion, Gatsby is portrayed as both ingénue and chameleon, alerting the
reader to the protagonist’s dual and perhaps contradictory nature.
Syntax


Identify the syntactical choice the author has made and provide the context in which it
appears in the text. Do NOT write: The writer uses syntax. Since syntax refers to the
order and structure of words, phrases, etc, it always exists – even if you do not find it
noteworthy.
Connect the syntax to the meaning of this text. Avoid generic commentary. Provide an
original insight. Pay attention to your own diction. It enhances your analysis.
Model:
The ________________________________ function(s) to
____________________________________
41
____________________________________________________________________. This
structure supports the author’s purpose to
_________________________________________________________.
Example:
Gatsby’s interrupted sentences dramatize his nervousness and hesitation as he discusses his
upcoming meeting with Daisy at Nick’s bungalow. Stuttering, “Why, I thought – why, look
here, old sport, you don’t make very much money, do you,” Gatsby reveals his true vulnerability
and weakness showing a stark contrast to the “greatness” that has been established in the early
chapters of the novel. Fitzgerald continues to reveal chinks in Gatsby’s armor as the novel
progresses preparing the reader for protagonist’s ultimate fall.
Helpful hint:
Some other examples of purposeful syntactical choices an author might make: parallelism,
anaphora, rhetorical question, appositives, polysyndeton, asyndeton, prepositional phrases,
etc. According to Jeff Sommers and Max Morenberg, authors of The Writer’s Options,
appositives define, summarize, and clarify. Prepositional phrases may elaborate and clarify by
indicating how, where, when, why.
Imagery
(word pictures appealing to one of the 6 senses (visual, auditory, gustatory, olfactory, tactile,
kinesthetic) – if you can’t identify which one, it isn’t a valid example of imagery)
 Identify the image and provide the context in which it appears in the text.
 Connect the image to the meaning of this text. Avoid generic commentary. Provide an
original insight. Pay attention to your own diction. It enhances your analysis.
Model:
The image of ______________________________ depicts a (picture, sense, state, etc.) of
__________ _____________________________ because the reader (sees, envisions, realizes)
that ______________
______________________________________________________________________________
_____. This is significant because
______________________________________________________________.
Example:
The image of an “argument . . . pull[ing]” Nick back to the party “as if with ropes” conveys his
helpless struggle to get away from the gathering in Tom and Myrtle’s apartment at the same time
42
that it dramatizes his fascination with the inebriated and adulterous events that are occurring.
The reader can see that much as ropes confine, restrain, and render one helpless, Nick, due
perhaps to a lack of experience or a flawed moral code, remains discomfited yet seems unable to
confront or reject the lies and pretenses of the party guests. This is significant because the reader
must question Nick’s declaration that he is tolerant and honest.
Figurative Language: Metaphor or Simile


Identify the metaphor or simile and provide the context in which it appears in the text.
Connect the metaphor or simile to the meaning of this text. Avoid generic commentary.
Provide an original insight. Pay attention to your own diction. It enhances your analysis.
Model:
The subject of (x) _____________________ is compared to (y) ____________________. This
is fitting because (x) _______________________ and (y) ______________________ share these
characteristics: (a) ____________________________________ and (b)
______________________________________. This is significant because
______________________________________________________________._
Example:
In his “I Have a Dream” speech, Martin Luther King, Jr. compares the condition of poverty to a
“lonely island.” This is a fitting comparison because poverty and a lonely island share these
characteristics: (a)
isolation and alienation from the “vast ocean of material prosperity” which surrounds them and
(b) both are small, singled out, vulnerable, and surrounded by something they don’t possess.
This comparison causes the audience to consider the tangible social barriers created by an
invisible financial limitation to feel sympathy for the isolated poor.
Figurative Language: Personification
(a figure of speech in which animals, abstract ideas, or inanimate things are referred to as if they were
human)


Identify the animal, abstract idea, or inanimate thing and provide the context in which it
appears in the text. Identify the human characteristic that is ascribed to it.
Connect the effect of the personification to the meaning of this text. Avoid generic
commentary. Provide an original insight. Pay attention to your own diction. It enhances
your analysis.
Model:
In _______________________________, ___________________is personified as possessing
the human
characteristic(s) of ___________________________________________ . The author employs
43
personification in order to________________________________________________.
Example:
"Today, we begin a new chapter in the history of Louisiana. I've said throughout the campaign that there
are two entities that have the most to fear from us winning this election. One is corruption and the other
is incompetence. If you happen to see either of them, let them know the party is over."
-- Bobby Jindal, Louisiana Governor-Elect victory Speech (as posted on americanrhetoric.com)
In Bobby Jindal’s victory speech, the abstract ideas of corruption and incompetence are
personified as possessing human form and consciousness. The governor-elect suggests that
members of his audience might encounter or “see” them and should inform them that their
“party” is over. Through this characterization, Jindal simultaneously emphasizes his
strength as a leader and sends a strong message, without naming specific perpetrators, that
those who may possess those qualities will be driven out of the state’s government.
Figurative Language: Hyperbole
(deliberate exaggeration used to heighten effect or create humor – remember that this is a figure of speech
not meant to be interpreted literally – e.g., I’m so hungry I could eat a horse.)



Identify what is being exaggerated and provide the context in which it appears in the text.
Connect the effect of the hyperbole to the meaning of this text. Avoid generic
commentary.
Provide an original insight. Pay attention to your own diction. It enhances your analysis.
Model:
The deliberate exaggeration of _________________________________ serves to express
____________
________________________. Through this heightened image, the
reader_________________________.
Example:
From Robert Frost’s poem, “After Apple-Picking”
For I have had too much
Of apple-picking: I am overtired
Of the great harvest I myself desired.
There were ten thousand fruit to touch,
Cherish in hand, lift sown, and not let fall.
In Frost’s poem, “After Apple-Picking,” the speaker deliberately exaggerates the number of
apples in order to emphasize his shift from excitement and desire to his extreme weariness
during the harvest. The speaker has had “too much” as a result of the “ten thousand” fruit to
touch. Through this image, the reader comes to understand that the speaker is not only weary of
body, but is also “overtired” in spirit as well.
[Example taken from A Contemporary Guide to Literary Terms by Edwin J. Barton and Glenda A. Hudson (Houghton Mifflin,
2004)]
Symbol
44


Identify both the concrete and abstract meanings of the symbol and provide the context in
which it appears in the text.
Connect the symbol to specific characters in this text. Avoid generic commentary.
Provide an original insight. Pay attention to your own diction. It enhances your analysis.
Model:
The ________________________________ symbolizes ________________________________
concrete
abstract
for _______________________________ because it represents __________________________
_________________________Through this symbol, the author
____________________________.
Example:
The pearls Daisy Buchanan rescues from the trash and subsequently wears “around her neck”
symbolize her ultimate choice of money over love because they represent Tom’s vast wealth
(they were “valued at three hundred and fifty thousand dollars”) in contrast to Gatsby’s avowal
of love, symbolized by the letter she “wouldn’t let go of.” By highlighting Daisy’s donning of
the pearls, Fitzgerald comments on the shallow and misguided values of the 20th Century
American, one who pursues the elusive “dream” instead of concrete relationships.
Detail


Identify the detail and provide the context in which it appears in the text.
Describe the function of the inclusion of that detail in this text. Avoid generic
commentary. Provide an original insight. Pay attention to your own diction. It enhances
your analysis.
Model:
The detail of _____________________________________________ conveys
_____________________ ___________________ since/because/in that
______________________________________________. The author wants the reader to see
______________________________ because/so that ____________
Example:
The detail of the string of polo ponies Tom Buchanan brought east with him from Chicago
conveys his vast wealth and hedonism. Moving the ponies is expensive and unnecessary,
suggesting that Tom does not need to concern himself with cost but does concern himself with
appearing more powerful than his peers. Fitzgerald wants the reader to see Tom as spoiled and
self-indulgent so that Tom will appear distasteful even before the reader learns of his current
affair.
45
Allusion


Identify the allusion (indirect reference by an author to another text, historical
occurrence, or to myths and legends) and provide the context in which it appears in the
text.
Describe the function of the allusion in this text. Avoid generic commentary. Provide an
original insight. Pay attention to your own diction. It enhances your analysis.
Model:
The author or speaker alludes to ________________________________________ in order to
______________________________________________. Through this reference, the reader
connects ___________________________ to _________________ and can more fully
understands the author’s purpose to _________________________________________.
Example:
“For us, they fought and died, in places like Concord and Gettysburg; Normandy and Khe Sahn.”
Barack Obama
Obama’s allusions to Concord, Gettysburg, Normandy, and Khe Sahn offer examples of
struggles that Americans have faced in the past which parallel the unique struggles Americans
believe they are currently facing with our economy, environment, and world conflict. Even
though the references are meant to show these struggles, the president’s desired effect is to
provide hope and resolve to the listener since these battles resulted in victories for America.
Citizens are reminded that they can be victorious in our modern struggles.
Examples of “generic” commentary: gets the reader’s attention, draws the reader in, etc.
46
Writing Errors to Avoid
#1: Incorrect Punctuation of Two Independent Clauses
(An independent clause has a subject and a verb and can stand alone as a sentence.)
Good writers know that correct punctuation is important to writing clear sentences. If you misuse a mark
of punctuation, you risk confusing your reader and appearing careless. Notice how the placement of
commas significantly affects the meaning of these sentences:
Mr. Jones, says Ms. Moore, is a boring old fool.
Mr. Jones says Ms. Moore is a boring old fool.
Writers often combine independent clauses in a single compound sentence to emphasize the relationship
between ideas. The punctuation of compound sentences varies depending upon how you connect the
clauses.
The rules are:
(a) Separate independent clauses with a comma when using a coordinating conjunction (and, but, or,
for, nor, so, yet).
(b) Separate independent clauses with a semi-colon when no coordinating conjunction is used.
(c) Separate independent clauses with a semi-colon when using a conjunctive adverb (e.g., however,
therefore, thus, consequently, finally, nevertheless).
Examples of Correct Punctuation, Rule a:
1. We all looked worse than usual, for we had stayed up studying for the exam.
2. This room is unbelievably hot, and I think that I am going to pass out.
Examples of Correct Punctuation, Rule b:
1. We all looked worse than usual; we had stayed up all night studying for the exam.
2. This room is unbelievably hot; I think I am going to pass out.
Examples of Correct Punctuation, Rule c:
1. We all looked worse than usual; however, we were relieved we had studied.
2. The discussion is really interesting; nevertheless, I think I am going to pass out.
#2: Misuse of the Apostrophe
Use the apostrophe to indicate possession and to mark omitted letters in contractions. Writers often misuse
apostrophes when forming plurals and possessives. The basic rule is quite simple: use the apostrophe to indicate
possession, not a plural. Yes, the exceptions to the rule may seem confusing: hers has no apostrophe, and it's is not
possessive. Nevertheless, with a small amount of attention, you can learn the rules and the exceptions of apostrophe
use.
Possessives
 Form the possessive case of a singular noun by adding 's (even if the word ends in s).
Hammurabi's code, Dickens's last novel, James's cello

Form the possessive case of a plural noun by adding an apostrophe after the final letter if it is an s or by
adding 's if the final letter is not an s.
the students' desks, the children's toys

Remember: the apostrophe never designates the plural form of a noun. A common error is the use of the
apostrophe to form a non-possessive plural. Compare the following correct sentences:
The student's disk was missing.
Several students' disks were missing.
The students searched for their missing disks.
47

Possessive pronouns, such as yours, hers, its, and ours, take no apostrophe.
The decision is yours.

Indefinite pronouns, such as anyone, everybody, no one, somebody, use the singular possessive form.
Somebody's dog stayed in our suite last night.
Contractions
 The apostrophe is used to mark omitted letters in contractions.
(Note: contractions are often considered too informal for academic writing.)

Avoid the dreadful it's/its confusion.
It's is a contraction for it is. It's is never a possessive.
Its is the possessive for it.
As Professors Strunk and White remind us in Elements of Style,
“It's a wise dog that scratches its own fleas” (1).
#3: Pronoun Problems
Pronouns are useful as substitutes for nouns, but a poorly chosen pronoun can obscure the meaning of a sentence.
Common pronoun errors include:
 Unclear Pronoun Reference
A pronoun must refer to a specific noun (the antecedent). Ambiguous pronoun reference creates confusing
sentences.
Poor Example: Writers should spend time thinking about their arguments to make sure they are not superficial.
(Unclear antecedent: who or what are superficial?)
If a whiff of ambiguity exists, use a noun:
A key difference between banking crises of today and yesterday is that today’s crises have greater global impact.
 Vague Subject Pronoun
Pronouns such as it, there, and this often make weak subjects.
Poor Example: Pope Gregory VII forced Emperor Henry IV to wait three days in the snow at Canossa before
granting him an audience. It was a symbolic act. (To what does it refer? Forcing the Emperor to wait? The
waiting? The granting of the audience? The audience? The entire sentence?)
Use a pronoun as subject only when its antecedent is crystal clear.
Aristotle and the Appeals of Rhetoric
Logos, Ethos, Pathos
Logical Appeals- (logos)
Logical appeals are the reasons given for supporting a particular argument. Examples of logical appeals include the
use of evidence, facts and figures, references to current events, and testimony. Effective logical appeals depend upon
the ability of the writer to connect the multiple examples of support to each other in meaningful ways.
 Incorporate inductive or deductive reasoning
 Allude to history, great literature, or mythology
 Provide reputable testimony
 Provide evidence, facts
 Cite authorities
 Quote research or statistics
48


Theorize cause and effect
Argue that something meets a given definition
Example:
We gotta get these nets. They’re coated with an insecticide and cost between $4 and $6. You need about
$10, all told, to get them shipped and installed. Some nets can cover a family of four. And they last four
years. If we can cut the spread of disease, 10 bucks means a kid might get to live. Make it $20 and more
kids are saved.
Taken from Rick Reilly’s “Nothing But Nets”
Ethical Appeals- (ethos)
Ethical appeals are attempts by the speaker/writer to make connections to the audience by appearing knowledgeable,
reasonable, ethical, etc. A writer is able to make an effective argument only when readers have no reason to doubt
the writer’s character on a given topic. Writers who fail to acknowledge other points of view, exaggerate, or assume
a tone of disrespect have difficulty making ethical appeals to readers.
 Make the audience believe the writer is trustworthy
 Demonstrate the writer carefully conducted research
 Demonstrate that the writer knows the audience and respects them
 Convince the audience that the writer is reliable and knowledgeable
 Use first person plural pronouns (“we” and “us”) to establish a relationship with the audience
Example:
My Fellow Clergymen:
While confined here in Birmingham city jail, I came across your recent statement calling my present
activities unwise and untimely,…since I feel that you are men of genuine good will and that your criticisms
are sincerely set forth, I want to answer your statement in what I hope will be patient and reasonable
terms.
Taken from Martin Luther King, Jr. -- “Letter from Birmingham Jail”
Emotional Appeals- (pathos)
Emotional appeals reach the reader by activating the reader’s emotions. Often writers make emotional appeals by
including sensory details, especially imagery. Calling upon the reader’s pleasant memories, nostalgia, anger, or fear
are frequent emotional appeals found in argumentative texts. The presence of “charged words” (references to
religious doctrine or patriotic ideas) in an argumentative text represents an attempt at an emotional appeal by the
writer.
 Include language that involves the senses and heightens emotional responses
 Reference bias or prejudice
 Include a personal anecdote
 Appeal to the audience’s physical, psychological, or social needs
 Create figurative language
 Experiment with informal language
Example:
Put it this way: Let’s say your little Justin’s Kickin’ Kangaroos have a big youth soccer tournament on
Saturday. There are 15 kids on the soccer team, 10 teams in the tourney. And there are 20 of these
tournaments going on all over town. Suddenly, every one of these kids gets chills and fever, then starts
throwing up and then gets short of breath. And in 10 days, they’re all dead of malaria.
Taken from Rick Reilly’s “Nothing But Nets”
49
David Joliffe’s Rhetorical Framework
Exigence
Audience
Purpose
Logos
Ethos
Pathos
Organization/Whole Text Structure
Diction
Syntax
Imagery
Figurative
Language
50
Heroes and Villains
The Generic Hero
The generic Hero is the protagonist or main character of most stories, although stories may also have multiple heroes in them (for
example Lord of the Rings). The Hero is important in that we identify with him or her more strongly than with other character. We thus vicariously
experience what the hero goes through, empathizing with their fears and exaltations. To identify with them means that they must be sympathetic in
some way, and that the less attractive heroes have some redeeming feature with which we can connect. A common theme is that the hero
demonstrates courage in overcoming external obstacles to their goal. This may also parallel an internal transformation where they also overcome
internal obstacles, thus growing and learning.
The Classic Hero
The Classic Hero is the person who goes on a quest to achieve some good end that benefits other people in some way. Perhaps they
are rescuing a maiden in distress or preventing a dastardly villain from ruling the world. We look up to the Classic Hero but may not fully believe
their perfection. Nevertheless they are a clear ideal to which we can aspire.
The Tragic Hero
The Tragic Hero reflects more of the real world in that the slings, arrows and bullets that are thrown at them do not always miss. The
classic Tragic Hero is doomed from the outset, yet the continue in their quest, perhaps achieving it just before they (tragically) die. The Tragic Hero
may also fail in their quest, perhaps having bitten off more than they can chew. For the audience, the tragic hero may represent their fears for
themselves, that despite their best efforts that they will fail.
The Accidental Hero
The Accidental Hero just happens to get in the way of excitement and adventure and is swept up, often protesting, in the action.
Perhaps their car is hi-jacked by gunmen or they are in a plane that crashes on a desert island. Which ever way, they are thrust into the main
storyline and somehow manage to succeed, either stepping up to the plate and taking unavoidable responsibility or bumbling through and
succeeding despite their own protests and inappropriate actions. We associate more easily with the Accidental Hero as they generally represent
the common person more than other heroes. Their plight is often a recipe for comedy as they stumble through the plot and we laugh at their naivety
and slapstick.
The Super-hero
The Super-hero is an exaggeration of the classic hero in their abilities to succeed. In the modern genre they have super-human powers,
such as Superman and the characters of the X-Men. In older stories, such heroes were mighty warriors or magicians. These powers could make
them human, so they often are portrayed with very human weaknesses and go through life-threatening experiences just as other heroes. Thus
Superman is weakened by green kryptonite. The Super-hero story often paints black-and-white caricatured characters in the same way that hero's
powers are exaggerated. Thus thus bad guy is truly evil and the henchmen are pretty stupid. The Super-hero represents our dreams in which we
can fly and have super-human strength.
The Anti-hero
The Anti-hero is a hero that we do not particularly like. Their indifference or distraction irritate us and they seem determined not to be
heroic, but when the chips are down they pull out the stops and deliver. Anti-heros can be frustrating for the audience, but they do increase
anticipation and excitement as we wonder what they will do next.
The Knight
The Knight is driven by the knightly code of honor that demands bold acts and confrontation of evil wherever it may be found. The
Knight thus rescues maidens but does not woo them, preferring instead to preserve a distant purity. We tend not to associate directly with the
Knight but they do represent the rescue that we often crave.
The Crusader
The Crusader is characterized by being driven by a powerful mission to which all other activities are subservient. The crusade often
targets many others and may, for example, be to convert many people to a way of thinking. We admire the Crusader's fortitude in standing up to
almost overwhelming odds. Through them we may realize that we can persuade others and change the world.
The Genius
The Genius is a highly intelligent person who uses their substantial brain-power to solve the problems with which they are confronted
and decide what to do next. No problem is too big for them and they relish in conundrums and puzzles. Geniuses may play in supporting roles, but
can also take on the leading role. They are often nerdy, lacking social skills, but making up for this with their towering intellect. Sherlock Holmes is a
classic example. We may well envy their mental powers but are grateful that they are on the side of good.
The Leader
The Leader directs the troops, often from the front, who may contain other heroes, in achieving a critical goal. Their main skill is in
inspiring and motivating others, although they also need to be able to determine which direction to lead their party. The Leader can represent a
parent or teacher who tells you what to do. By ceding decision to them, you place your trust in their ability to chose and achieve the final treasure.
The Bold Adventurer
The Bold Adventurer is close to the classic hero although with the primary goal of excitement and stimulation more than achieving some
end (which they may also need to achieve -- it is just that their personal satisfaction comes from the thrills of getting there). The Adventurer thus
51
steps into the unknown with a smile on their face and, whilst we might not follow them as we would the leader, we are drawn along with the story
which promises non-stop excitement.
The courageous Child
When children are cast into leading roles, we expect them to behave as children, seeking adults who will protect them from harm. Thus
when a child steps forward and takes on the bad guys we are amazed and impressed. The Courageous Child perhaps represents something from
our own childhood, where we played imaginary games of adventure, thus letting us recapture our youth for a little while.
The Whizz kid
The Whizz-kid is first a genius who usually knows everything there is to know about some subject -- often technology -- and usually
more than the bumbling adults who are thrown into confusion by the amazing genius before them. The Whizz-kid invents prodigiously and comes
up with amazing contraptions or other solutions to whatever problems they face. This prodigy perhaps represents some secret desires we have for
super powers of the intellect. If we were to be like them (or at least have their brains) we could solve most of the problems before us at a single
stroke.
The Silent Man
The Silent hero says little and does what is necessary with the minimum of fuss. They express little emotion, just getting on with what
needs doing. They are often mysterious characters and we wonder why they do what they do. Nevertheless we admire their abilities and also their
lack of demands on the people around them. Other heroes may be a bit full of themselves by comparison.
The Founder
The Founder begins things, often institutions or societies that become great, perhaps through taking on some of the greatness of the
founder. In real life, company founders are often mythologized into heroic characters by the stories told of their vision and compassion. Founders
are also associated with birth and creation, which reaches deep into our psyches.
The Martyr
The Martyr first offers self-sacrifice in the name of a greater cause or the safety of significant others. This putting of others before
oneself is a characteristic of most other heroes and martyrdom is a potential and defining route for any heroic action. We may have great
admiration for those who lay down their lives for their countries or their faiths, particularly in their ability to transcend our deep fear of dying and
death.
The Savior
The Savior's noble goal is to rescue others from discomfort and distress. Whether it is a lost child or captured maiden, the savior's
promise is of succor and salvation. The Savior plays directly to our need for rescue that echoes down from early childhood, where parents would
save us from real or imagined ills.
The Noble Savage
The Noble Savage is a primitive being who, from their appearance, would seem to be little more than an animal and hence could be
expected to be fierce and uncaring (and perhaps too primitive to understand care). Yet they also have a deep spark of humanity that perhaps
exceeds our own, as they act with dignity and concern that is thrown into contrast against our expectations of them. Thus there may be a confusing
juxtaposition, as we become the savage and they become the civilized being.
Thus the Noble Savage surprises and teaches us.
The Gentle Giant
Something like the Noble Savage, the huge person would seem to be able harm us without difficulty, yet they act in contrast to their
appearance (and perhaps deliberately so) in the way that they gently and delicately interface with the world around them. The Gentle Giant may not
always be gentle as they mete out punishment to the villains, perhaps as they barge their way through on a rescue mission. We are grateful to
them for not harming the good guys and thus place them on a heroic plinth.
The Rough Diamond
The Rough Diamond is someone who may appear as a villain and maybe does have villainous tendencies. However, they also have a
heart of gold and may unexpectedly perform heroic acts, perhaps even surprising themselves in the process. The Rough Diamond, as with the
noble savage and the gentle giant, reminds us that the world is not always as it seems and that goodness can be reassuringly found in even the
most unexpected places.
Pearson’s Heroic Archetypes
Carol Pearson, in Awakening The Heroes Within, describes twelve archetypes, each of which can go on a heroic quest. It is notable
that some of these are not 'traditional' heroes in the sense of having archetypal strength of body or mind. Here are a few notes and interpretations
on each of Pearson's archetypes.
Innocent
The Innocent, fearing abandonment, seeks safety. Their greatest strength is the trust and optimism that endears them to others and so
gain help and support on their quest. Their main danger is that they may be blind to their obvious weaknesses or perhaps deny them. They can
also become dependent on others to fulfil their heroic tasks.
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Orphan
The Orphan, fearing exploitation, seeks to regain the comfort of the womb and neonatal safety in the arms of loving parents. To fulfil
their quest they must go through the agonies of the developmental stages they have missed. Their strength is the interdependence and pragmatic
realism that they had to learn at an early age. A hazard is that they will fall into the victim mentality and so never achieve a heroic position.
Warrior
The Warrior is relatively simple in their thought patterns, seeking simply to win whatever confronts them, including the dragons that live
inside the mind and their underlying fear of weakness. Their challenge is to bring meaning to what they do, perhaps choosing their battles wisely,
which they do using courage and the warrior's discipline.
Caregiver
Caregivers first seek to help others, which they do with compassion and generosity. A risk they take is that in their pursuit to help others
they may end up being harmed themselves. They dislike selfishness, especially in themselves, and fear what it might make them.
Seeker
Seekers are looking for something that will improve their life in some way, but in doing so may not realize that they have much already
inside themselves. They embrace learning and are ambitious in their quest and often avoid the encumbrance of support from others. Needing to 'do
it themselves', they keep moving until they find their goal (and usually their true self too).
Lover
The Lover seeks the bliss of true love and the syzygy of the divine couple. They often show the passion that they seek in a relationship
in their energy and commitment to gaining the reciprocal love of another. They fear both being alone and losing the love that they have gained,
driving them to constantly sustain their love relationships.
Destroyer
The Destroyer is a paradoxical character whose destructiveness reflects the death drive and an inner fear of annihilation. As a fighter,
they are thus careless of their own safety and may put others in danger too. Their quest is to change, to let go of their anger or whatever force
drives them and return to balance, finding the life drive that will sustain them. Living on the cusp of life and death, they are often surprisingly
humble.
Creator
Creators, fearing that all is an illusion, seek to prove reality outside of their minds. A critical part of their quest is in finding and accepting
themselves, discovering their true identity in relation to the external world.
Ruler
The Ruler's quest is to create order and structure and hence an effective society in which the subjects of the Ruler can live productive
and relatively happy lives. This is not necessarily an easy task, as order and chaos are not far apart, and the Ruler has to commit themself fully to
the task. The buck stops with them and they must thus be wholly responsible -- for which they need ultimate authority.
Magician
The Magician's quest is not to 'do magic' but to transform or change something or someone in some way. The Magician has significant
power and as such may be feared. They may also fear themselves and their potential to do harm. Perhaps their ultimate goal is to transform
themselves, achieving a higher plane of existence.
Sage
The Sage is a seeker after truth and enlightenment and journeys far in search of the next golden nugget of knowledge. The danger for
the sage and their deep fear is that their hard-won wisdom is built on the sand of falsehood. Their best hope is that they play from a position of
objective honesty and learn to see with a clarity that knows truth and untruth.
Fool
The goal of the Fool is perhaps the wisest goal of all, which is just to enjoy life as it is, with all its paradoxes and dilemmas. What
causes most dread in the Fool is a lack of stimulation and being 'not alive'. They must seek to 'be', perhaps as the Sage, but may not understand
this.
Villainous characters
The Mastermind
The Mastermind does not commit the crime, but is the brains behind the big event, whether it is a stealing, a scam or some other crime.
They are typically brilliantly clever and master planners, allowing for every eventuality including being caught in the act. They may also leave a
deliberate signature, such as a rose or some other symbol, to taunt the police and show that they cannot be caught. The hero who captures the
mastermind must outwit them at every turn, including avoiding the snares and false trails that the mastermind leaves behind. Moriarty, for example,
is the mastermind that is the nemesis of the brilliant Sherlock Holmes.
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The Thief
The Thief steals, often from a remarkably secure environment, somehow overcoming the security systems that protect the wonderful
treasures kept there. They are dextrous and agile, able to get past any defence. The lone thief may also be clever enough to be classed as a
Mastermind. Thieves are seldom violent and their villainy is based in their lack of concern for the rights of property of others. When they are
involved in combat, their agility and precision can make them very dangerous. The hero who defeats the Thief is a detective, discovering the clues
that others miss and piecing together the jigsaw of how the crime was committed and how to find the Thief. The Thief story is thus a cerebral one,
where the hero outwits the Thief's mental dexterity.
The Robber
The Robber is less subtle than the thief and may work in a gang with others. Where the thief is precise, the Robber is clumsy. Where
the thief waits until people are away, the Robber will steal from the person's body. The hero who catches the Robber may do so by entrapment, into
which the Robber walks unawares. Other methods of capture include basic police work.
The Thug
Below the Robber in the intellectual order of villains is the Thug, who gets what they want simply though physical violence. They
seldom work alone, needing direction from elsewhere and may act as guards or a human battering-ram into the fortress where the treasure is kept.
Defeating the Thug is relatively easy if you can dodge their heavy-handed blows. Their slowness and size makes them a simple target for a quicker
opponent. Otherwise they can be easily outwitted ('Goodness, look at that!' -- whack!!).
The Sneak
The Sneak is known for their dishonesty and general lack of values (it's not that other villains lack them -- it is more that the sneak has
even less). They will work for whoever pays them. They thus make good double-agents -- as long as your offer remains the most attractive. They
are often very cowardly and will squeal easily under pressure. Their tendency for lying, however, makes what ever they say difficult to believe. The
Sneak is defeated first by never trusting them wholly and then by buying them off.
The Trickster
The Trickster is a mischievous character who is not what might first be envisaged. They often have their own agenda and may be the
main Villain or a distraction that adds confusion to the story. Tricksters sometimes play tricks simply to entertain themselves so they can marvel at
their own ability and domination over others. They also may set traps to ensnare the unwary and ply false trust to lead the naive astray. The Hero is
always on guard and defeating the Trickster demonstrates intelligence as well as bravery or skill. The Trickster reminds us not to trust people and
that not all is as it seems. Their deviousness and the uncertainty of their actions shows that sometimes people behave in unpredictable ways and
for unknown reason.
The Knave
The Knave is a higher-class rogue who has uses his aristocratic position to get what he wants, including favors from a lady. He may
promise much in return, but in fact gives nothing. The hero defeats the Knave by exposing his deception. He may also have to battle the Knave
who, lacking honor, may again use deceptive methods here.
The Assassin
The Assassin is a dark and secret person who kills to order. Their killing is not the open murder of others but a hidden delivery, perhaps
with poison or distant rifle. When up-close, they prefer the dagger, which may be hidden before use and closely controlled in action. Defeating
assassins is difficult as they are very skilled in their art. When they do not wish to be found they can be almost invisible. Sometimes it is easier to
defeat the person who commissioned the Assassin.
The Lovable Rogue
The Lovable Rogue is a sympathetic and attractive character who is steeped with charisma. They somehow balance selfish acts with
sudden and unexpected generosity and kindness that endears them to us. We (and story characters) thus have a love-hate relationship with them
as we wish that they would improve the integrity. In some ways we also envy them their freedom as they make their own rules in the world.
The False Hero
The False Hero is a a deceptive person who seeks to usurp the glory of the real hero, either by claiming to having done what the hero
did or otherwise claiming some other greatness that overshadows the hero. The False Hero often seeks the same end as the Hero, such as the
hand of the princess, making it a zero-sum, win-lose game. In the end, they may have to fight to prove who is the true hero, and where perhaps the
underhand, non-heroic methods of the False Hero exposes reality.
The Bad Boy
The Bad Boy is a naughty child who does wrong. The Bad Boy may know what they are doing and be well on the road to evil, or they
may be going through a phase and are still redeemable. We all know Bad Boys of some kind, and perhaps we recognize ourselves in some of the
variants. Because they are children, they may evoke some sympathy, particularly if they have not yet gone completely bad.
The Evil Genius
The Evil Genius is a very clever person who has turned their ingenuity to selfish and harmful means. They are often also Mastermind,
getting others to do their bidding. They may also work for another, such as the inventor of dastardly devices. The audience may be aghast at the
perversion of a good mind and at the bad that can be done by it. Like a gun, a brain can do good or evil.
The Nemesis
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The Nemesis is the exact opposite of the Hero, seeking to beat them at their own game. Where the hero is a Genius, the Nemesis is a
Mastermind. Where the hero is a Warrior, the Nemesis is also likely to be a fighter. Moriarty, for example was the Nemesis for Sherlock Holmes,
matching his intellect and cunning. The Nemesis scares the Hero and the audience perhaps more than any other villain as the hero's defining
characteristics are cancelled out.
The Psychopath
The Psychopathic villain has the classic symptom of psychopathy, being a lack of empathy for others, combined with a cunning that
manipulates people in unbelievably callous ways. The Psychopath may thus appear to be good, right up until the moment of betrayal (making them
very difficult to detect and defeat), after which they show no remorse at all. Psychopaths scare us as they indicate that anybody might fall into the
same category. More than others, they trigger the anger and retributive justice of betrayal.
The Fanatic
The Fanatic is single-minded person whose crime is seldom of the traditional variety (robbery, etc.). They may well driven by religion or
some other ideology that gives them the fervor to carry out their mission. The Fanatic is difficult to defeat as they typically put their mission above
their own safety and will fight like a Madman.
The Traitor
The Traitor is the archetypal betrayer, seeming to be on your side but eventually betraying you to the enemy. Their reasons may be that
they are spies, they are bought by the enemy or that they are actually good, but they are blackmailed into their treachery. Defeating Traitors may
occur if they are detected before their treacherous act, but is usually afterwards, when they may be caught as they try to hide or escape
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RUBRIC (GENERIC) FOR AP ASSIGNMENTS
9:
Papers earning a score of 9 meet the criteria for 8 papers and, in addition, are especially full or apt in their
analysis, sophisticated in their explanation and argument, or impressive in their control of language.
8:
Papers earning a score of 8 respond to the prompt effectively, answering all parts of the question
completely and demonstrating clear understanding of the passage; recognizes complexities of attitude or tone;
demonstrates stylistic maturity through an effective command of sentence structure, diction, and organization;
insightful thesis clearly linked to the evidence or assertions presented; seamless incorporation of quotations;
consistent focus
7:
Papers earning a score of 7 fit the description of 6 papers, but provide a more complete analysis,
explanation, or argument OR demonstrate a more mature prose style.
6:
Papers earning a score of 6 respond to the prompt adequately, accurately answering all parts of the question
and using appropriate evidence, but they are less fully or effectively developed than essays in the top range;.
discussion of techniques used in a passage may be less thorough and less specific; well-written in an appropriate
style, but with less maturity than the top papers; demonstrates sufficient control over the elements of writing to
present the writer’s ideas clearly; clear, accurate thesis
5:
Papers earning a score of 5 analyze, explain, or argue in response to the prompt, but do so unevenly,
inconsistently, or insufficiently. The writing may contain lapses in diction or syntax, but it usually conveys the
writer’s ideas. May be simplistic, imprecise, overly general or vague. Organization is attempted, but not fully
realized.
4:
Papers earning a score of 4 respond to the prompt inadequately. They may analyze or explain incorrectly,
merely paraphrase, or offer little discussion. The prose generally conveys the writer’s ideas but may suggest
immature control of writing. The writer attempts to answer the question, but does so either inaccurately or without
the support of specific, persuasive evidence; may misinterpret or misrepresent the passage.
3:
Papers earning a score of 3 meet the criteria for a score of 4, but demonstrate less success in analyzing,
explaining, arguing, or providing specific textual evidence. They are less consistent in controlling the elements of
writing.
2:
Papers earning a score of 2 demonstrate little success in analyzing, explaining, or arguing. They may
misunderstand the prompt or the passage, offer vague generalizations, substitute simpler tasks such as summarizing
the passage or simple listing rhetorical strategies. The prose often demonstrates consistent weaknesses in writing.
may be unacceptably brief or poorly written on several counts; response lacks clarity
1:
Papers earning a score of 1 meet the criteria for a 2 but are undeveloped, especially simplistic in their
explanation and /or argument, or weak in their control of language.
0:
_:
Indicates an on-topic response that receives no credit, such as one that merely repeats the prompt.
Indicates a blank response or one that is completely off-topic.
8:
6:
4:
2:
Demonstrates competence
Suggests competence
Suggests incompetence
Demonstrates incompetence
5:
Goes in and out like static when you’re trying to tune in a radio station
9 = an enhanced eight
7 = an enhanced six
3 = a diminished four
1 = a diminished 2
UPPER HALF PAPERS employ an “enriched” vocabulary. The writer “does the work” of guiding the reader
through effective organization and fluid syntax.
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LOWER HALF PAPERS demonstrate an “impoverished” vocabulary. The reader “does the work” trying to make
sense out of what the writer has written.
POETRY FOCUS STATEMENT
DEFINITION:
A ONE TO TWO-SENTENCE SUMMARY OF THE NARRATIVE SITUATION, THEME AND TONE OF
A POEM.
USE:
AS A POTENTIAL THESIS FOR A FREE-RESPONSE POETRY QUESTION ON THE AP LIT EXAM
CRITICAL ATTRIBUTES
(1)
INCLUDES THE TITLE OF THE POEM AND THE NAME OF THE POET
(2)
IS WRITTEN IN “LITERARY PRESENT TENSE”
(3)
SPECIFIES THE NARRATIVE SITUATION OF THE POEM
(4)
INCLUDES A THOUGHTFUL, BUT CONCISE INDICATION OF THEME
(5)
IDENTIFIES THE TONE(S) OF THE POEM. THESE MAY BE DIFFERING BUT
COMPLEMENTARY. SHIFTS IN TONE MAY BE IDENTIFIED AS WELL.
DIRECTIONS:
1. THE SYNTAX OF POETRY FOCUS STATEMENTS IS COMPOUND OR COMPLEX BECAUSE
YOU ARE ADDRESSING BOTH THE LITERAL (THE NARRATIVE SITUATION) AND THE
THEMATIC.
2.
DRAW A STRAIGHT LINE UNDER THE LITERAL PART OF THE STATEMENT. IT SHOULD BE
SUBORDINATED TO THE THEMATIC. THAT IS, IT SHOULD BE FOUND IN THE DEPENDENT
CLAUSE.
3.
DRAW A SQUIGGLY LINE UNDER THE THEMATIC PART OF THE STATEMENT. IT SHOULD
BE FOUND IN THE MAIN OR INDEPENDENT CLAUSE.
4.
ARTICULATE YOURSELF IN A SCHOLARLY MANNER. SEE “VERBS FOR LITERARY
ANALYSIS” AND “TONE WORDS” IN THE YELLOW PAGES.
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Literary Devices
Below you will find a list of 84 Terms for which you must create study cards.
Accompanying the terms is a schedule for their completion (you will have four weeks before we
study poetry: 4/84 = 21 per week). Though they will not be collected until the end of the four
weeks, some terms may wind up on quizzes.
Of primary importance: KNOWING the terms is the FIRST STEP. The AP Exam does
not ask for definitions; they expect students to see the devices in context. Therefore, your cards
must follow a certain pattern:
1) SIDE 1 – Term
2) SIDE 2 –
a. Definition
b. Sentence: using device in context
POETRY TERMS
WEEK 1
WEEK 2
WEEK 3
WEEK 4
alliteration
dimeter
irony
quatrain
allusion
dramatic monologue
rhetorical question
ambiguity
dramatic situation
Italian sonnet (aka
Petrarchan Sonnet)
anapest , anapestic
elegy
antithesis
end rhyme
approximate rhyme (see
slant rhyme)
end-stopped line
assonance
English sonnet aka
Shakespearean
aubade
enjambment
audience
epithet
ballad
euphony
litotes
lyric poem
masculine rhyme
metaphor
metaphysical poetry
sonnet
speaker
narrative poem
caesura
feminine rhyme
octave
carpe diem
foot
ode
conceit
free verse
onomatapoeia
connotation
hexameter
oxymoron
consonance
hyperbole
paradox
couplet
iamb, iambic
parallelism
diction
internal rhyme
simile
monometer
extended metaphor
implied metaphor
sestet
metonymy
cacophony
imagery
scansion
slant rhyme
(approximate or near
rhyme)
exact rhyme
denotation
run-on line (enjambment)
meter
blank verse
dactyl, dactylic
rhyme scheme
spondee, spondaic
pentameter
personification
phonetic intensives
stanza
synecdoche
syntax
tercet
tetrameter
theme
tone
trimester
trochee, trochaic
villanelle
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Rhetorical Devices
Great writing and excellent reading come from an understanding of syntax. Syntax is created out of different literary
structures listed below. Though you will not be required to know the definitions of each of these terms (they will not do you much
good in life), recognizing a difference in sentence pattern can put you way ahead for the AP Exam.
Like with literary devices, you will have a Rhetorical Journal (Unit 2) wherein you will be asked to spot different rhetorical
devices in poetry and write a brief journal entry in the following pattern:
Device:
Name it
Definition:
Define it
Context:
Quotation with Citation
Explanation:
Tell the impact this device has on the poem/reader at large
Adapted and excerpted from Edward P. J. Corbett and Robert J. Connors’ Classical Rhetoric for the Modern Student. Oxford
University Press. ISBN: 0195115422.
Schemes of Construction
1) Schemes of Balance
Parallelism- similarity of structure in a pair or series of related words, phrases, or clauses. This basic principle of grammar and
rhetoric demands that equivalent things be set forth in coordinate grammatical structures: nouns with nouns, infinitives with
infinitives, and adverb clauses with adverb clauses.
a.
“…for the support of this declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of Divine Providence, we mutually
pledge to each other our Lives, our Fortunes, and our sacred Honor”—The Declaration of Independence
b.
“ ...the love of liberty, jury trial, the writ of habeus corpus, and all the blessings of free government....”—John
Randolph of Roanoke, “Speech on the Greek Cause.
c.
“So Janey waited a bloom time, and a green time and an orange time.”—Zora Neale Hurston, Their Eyes
Were Watching God
d.
“It will be long before our larger life interprets itself in such imagination as Hawthorne’s, such wisdom as
Emerson’s, such poetry as Longfellow’s, such prophesy as Whittier’s, such grace as Holmes’s, such humor
and humanity as Lowell’s.”—William Dean Howells, Literary Friends and Acquaintance
Isocolon is a scheme of parallel structure which occurs when the parallel elements are similar not only in grammatical structure but
also in length (number of words or even number of syllables). This is very effective, but a little goes a long way.
a.
“His purpose was to impress the ignorant, to perplex the dubious, and to confound the scrupulous.”
b.
“An envious heart makes a treacherous ear.”—Zora Neale Hurston, Their Eyes Were Watching God
Antithesis - the juxtaposition of contrasting ideas, often in parallel structure. The contrast may be in words or in ideas or both.
When used well, antithesis can be very effective, even witty.
a.
“ What if I am rich, and another is poor—strong, and he is weak—intelligent, and he is benighted—elevated,
and he is depraved? Have we not one Father? Hath not one God created us?”—William Lloyd Garrison, “No
Compromise with Slavery”
b.
“Your forefathers crossed the great water and landed on this island. Their numbers were small. They found
friends and not enemies. They told us they had fled from their own country for fear of wicked men, and had
come here to enjoy their religion. They asked for a small seat. We took pity on them, granted their request;
and they sat down amongst us. We gave them corn and meat; they gave us poison in return.”—Red Jacket,
1805
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2.
Schemes of unusual or inverted word order
Anastrophe- inversion of the natural or usual word order. This deviation can emphasize a point or it can just sound awkward. It is
most effective if the author rarely writes awkwardly, because when set among well-structured sentences it emphasizes the inverted
phrase.
a.
“As the saint of old sweetly sang, “I was glad when they said unto me, let us go into the house of the Lord;” so ought
we to be glad when any opportunity of going good is presented to us.” --Cotton Mather “The Reward of Well-Doing”
b.
“Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country.” --John F. Kennedy, Inaugural
speech
Parenthesis - insertion of some verbal unit in a position that interrupts the normal syntactical flow of the sentence. One obvious
way to use parenthesis is to use the punctuation marks (parentheses). However, there are other ways to insert a comment into a
sentence. One might use commas, or dashes, for example. The parenthetical remark, however, is off on a tangent, cut off from the
thrust of the sentence and grammatically unrelated to the sentence.
a.
“Those two spots are among the darkest of our whole civilization—pardon me, our whole culture (an
important distinction, I’ve heard) which might sound like a hoax, or a contradiction, but that (by contradiction, I
mean) is how the world moves: not like an arrow, but a boomerang.” --Ralph Ellison, Invisible Man
b.
“And they went further and further from her, being attached to her by a thin thread (since they had lunched
with her) which would stretch and stretch, get thinner and thinner as they walked across London; as if one’s
friends were attached to one’s body, after lunching with them, by a thin thread, which (as she dozed there)
became hazy with the sound of bells, striking the hour or ringing to service, as a single spider’s thread is
blotted with rain-drops, and burdened, sags down. So she slept” .—Virginia Woolf, Mrs. Dalloway
Apposition - placing side by side two coordinate elements, the second of which serves as an explanation or modification of the first.
In grammar, this is the appositive or verbal cluster.
3.
a.
“The mountain was the earth, her home.”—Rudolfo Anaya, Alburquerque
b.
“Here was the source of the mistaken strategy –the reason why activists could so easily ignore class and could
consider race alone a sufficient measure of social oppression”.—Richard Rodriguez, The Hunger of Memory
Schemes of Omission
Ellipsis - deliberate omission of a word or of words which are readily implied by the context. While this can make clear, economical
sentences; if the understood words are grammatically incompatible, the resulting sentence may be awkward.
a.
“So singularly clear was the water that when it was only twenty or thirty feet deep the bottom seemed floating
on the air! Yes, where it was even eighty feet deep. Every little pebble was distinct, every speckled trout,
every hand’s breadth of sand.” -- Mark Twain, Roughing It
b.
“And he to England shall along with you.” --Shakespeare, Hamlet III,iii
Asyndeton - deliberate omission of conjunctions between a series of related clauses. The effect of this device is to produce a
hurried rhythm in the sentence.
a. “I came, I saw, I conquered.”—Julius Caesar
b. “They may have it in well doing, they have it in learning, they may have it even in criticism.” --Matthew Arnold
Polysyndeton - deliberate use of many conjunctions. The effect of polysyndeton is to slow down the rhythm of the sentence.
a.
“I said, “Who killed him?” and he said, “I don’t know who killed him but he’s dead all right,” and it was dark and there
was water standing in the street and no lights and windows broke and boats all up in the town and trees blown down
and everything all blown and I got a skiff and went out and found my boat where I had her inside Mango Key and she
was all right only she was full of water.”—Ernest Hemingway, “After the Storm”
b.
“On and on she went, across Piccadilly, and up Regent Street, ahead of him, her cloak, her gloves, her shoulders
combining with the fringes and the laces and the feather boas in the windows to make the spirit of finery and whimsy
which dwindled out of the shops on to the pavement, as the light of a lamp goes wavering at night over hedges in the
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darkness.”—Virginia Woolf, Mrs. Dalloway
4.
Schemes of Repetition
Alliteration - repetition of initial or medial consonants in two or more adjacent words. Used sparingly, alliteration provides
emphasis. Overused, it sounds silly.
a.
“Already American vessels has been searched, seized, and sank.”—John F. Kennedy, Profiles in Courage
b.
“It was the meanest moment of eternity”.—Zora Neale Hurston, Their Eyes Were Watching God
Assonance - the repetition of similar vowel sounds, preceded and followed by different consonants, in the stressed syllables of
adjacent words.
a.
“Whales in the wake like capes and Alps/ Quaked the sick sea and snouted deep”. --Dylan Thomas, “Ballad of the
Long Legged Bait”
b.
“Refresh your zest for living.”—advertisement for French Line Ships
Anaphora - repetition of the same word or groups of words at the beginnings of successive clauses. This device produces a strong
emotional effect, especially in speech. It also establishes a marked change in rhythm.
a.
“We shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight on the landing grounds, we shall fight in the fields and in the
streets, we shall fight in the hills.”—Winston Churchill, speech in the House of Commons, 6/4/40
b.
“Why should white people be running all the stores in our community? Why should white people be running
the banks of our community? Why should the economy of our community be in the hands of the white man?
Why?”—Malcolm X
Epistrophe - repetition of the same word or group of words at the ends of successive clauses. Like anaphora, epistrophe produces
a strong rhythm and emphasis.
a.
“But to all of those who would be tempted by weakness, let us leave no doubt that we will be as strong as we
need to be for as long as we need to be.” Richard Nixon, First Inaugural Address
b.
“When we first came we were very many and you were very few. Now you are many and we are getting very
few.”—Red Cloud
Epanalepsis - repetition at the end of a clause of the word that occurred at the beginning of the clause. Like other schemes of
repetition, epanalepsis often produces or expresses strong emotion.
a.
Blood hath bought blood, and blows have answer’d blows:/ Strength match’d with strength, and power
confronted power.—William Shakespeare, King John
Anadiplosis - repetition of the last word of one clause at the beginning of the following clause.
a.
“The crime was common, common be the pain”.—Alexander Pope, “Eloise to Abelard”
b.
“Aboard my ship, excellent performance is standard. Standard performance is sub-standard. Sub-standard
performance is not permitted to exist.”—Captain Queeg, Herman Wouk’s The Caine Mutiny
c.
“Trees and buildings rose and fell against a pale-blue clouded sky, beech changed to elm, and elm to fir, and fir to
stone; a world like lead upon a hot fire, bubbled into varying shapes, now like a flame, now like a leaf of clover.” -Graham Greene, Orient Express
Climax - arrangement of words, phrases, or clauses in an order of increasing importance.
a.
“More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, endurance
produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not disappoint us, because God’s love has
been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit which has been given to us.”—St. Paul, Romans
Antimetabole - repetition of words, in successive clauses, in reverse grammatical order.
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a.
“One should eat to live, not live to eat.”—Moliere, L’Avare
b.
“Ask not what your country can do for you; ask what you can do for your country.”—John F. Kennedy, Inaugural
Address
c.
“The Negro needs the white man to free him from his fears. The white man needs the Negro to free him from his
guilt.”—Martin Luther King, Jr., from a speech delivered in 1966
d.
“The truth is the light and light is the truth.” --Ralph Ellison, Invisible Man
Chiasmus (the “criss-cross”) - reversal of grammatical structures in successive phrases or clauses. Chiasmus is similar to
antimetabole in that it too involves a reversal of grammatical structures in successive phrases or clauses, but it is unlike
antimetabole in that it does not involve a repetition of words. Both chiasmus and antimetabole can be used to reinforce antithesis.
a.
Exalts his enemies, his friends destroys.—John Dryden, “Absalom and Achitophel”
Polyptoton - repetition of words derived from the same root.
a.
“But in this desert country they may see the land being rendered useless by overuse” --Joseph Wood
Krutch, The Voice of the Desert
b.
“We would like to contain the uncontainable future in a glass.”—Loren Eiseley, from an article in Harper’s,
March 1964
5. Tropes – Common Devices
Metaphor - implied comparison between two things of unlike nature
a.
“The symbol of all our aspirations, one of the student leaders called her: the fruit of our struggle.” –John Simpson,
“Tianamen Square”
b.
“A breeze blew through the room, blue curtains in at one end and out the other…twisting them up toward the frosted
wedding-cake of a ceiling, and the rippled over the wine-colored rug, making a shadow on it…. –F. Scott Fitzgerald,
The Great Gatsby
Simile - explicit comparison between two things of unlike nature
a.
“The night is bleeding like a cut.” –Bono
b.
“Ah my!” said Eustacia, with a laugh which unclosed her lips so that the sun shone into her mouth as into a tulip and
lent it a similar scarlet fire.”–Thomas Hardy, The Return of the Native
Synecdoche - figure of speech in which a part stands for the whole
a.
The British crown has been plagued by scandal.
b.
There is no word from the Pentagon on the new rumors from Afghanistan.
Metonymy – substitution of some attributive or suggestive word for what is actually meant
a.
“I have nothing to offer but blood, toil, tears, and sweat.” –Winston Churchill, 1940
b.
“In Europe, we gave the cold shoulder to De Gaulle, and now he gives the warm hand to Mao Tse-tung.” --Richard
Nixon, 1960
Antanaclasis (a type of pun)– repetition of a word in two different senses
a.
“Your argument is sound, nothing but sound.” –Benjamin Franklin
b.
“If we don’t hand together, we’ll hang separately.” --Benjamin Franklin
Paronomasia (a type of pun) - use of words alike in sound but different in meaning
a.
“Ask for me tomorrow and you will find me a grave man.” –William Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet
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b.
“The Bustle: A Deceitful Seatful.” --Vladimir Nabokov, Lolita
Syllepsis (a type of pun) - use of a word understood differently in relation to two or more other words, which it modifies or governs
a.
“There is a certain type of woman who’d rather press grapes than clothes.” --Advertisement for Peck & Peck
b.
“The ink, like our pig, keeps running out of the pen.” --Student paper
Anthimeria - the substitution of one part of speech for another
a. “I’ll unhair thy head.” –William Shakespeare, Antony and Cleopatra
b. “Me, dictionarying heavily, ‘Where was the one they were watching?’” –Ernest Hemingway, The Green Hills of Africa
Periphrasis (autonomasia) - substitution of a descriptive word or phrase for a proper name or of a proper name for a quality
associated with the name
a.
“They do not escape Jim Crow; they merely encounter another, not less deadly variety.”--James Baldwin,
Nobody Knows My Name
b.
“In his later years, he became in fact the most scarifying of his own creatures: a Quixote of the Cotswolds…”
Time, referring to Evelyn Waugh
Personification (prosopesis) - investing abstractions or inanimate objects with human qualities
a.
“The night comes crawling in on all fours.” --David Lowery
b.
“And indeed there will be time/ For the yellow smoke that slides along the street,/Rubbings its back upon the window
panes.” --T.S. Eliot, “The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock”
Hyperbole - the use of exaggerated terms for the purpose of emphasis or heightened effect.
a.
“It rained for four years, eleven months, and two days.” —Gabriel Garcia Marquez, One Hundred Years of Solitude
b.
“We walked along a road in Cumberland and stooped, because the sky hung so low.” —Thomas Wolfe, Look
Homeward, Angel
Litotes - deliberate use of understatement
a.
“Last week I saw a woman flayed, and you will hardly believe how much it altered her appearance for the
worse.”—Jonathan Swift, A Tale of a Tub
Rhetorical question - asking a question, not for the purpose of eliciting an answer but for the purpose of asserting or denying
something obliquely
a.
“Isn’t it interesting that this person to whom you set on your knees in your most private sessions at night and
you pray, doesn’t even look like you?” –Malcolm X
b.
“Wasn’t the cult of James a revealing symbol and symbol of an age and society which wanted to dwell like
him in some false world or false art and false culture?” –Maxwell Geismar, Henry James and His Cult
c.
“You say there is but one way to worship and serve the Great Spirit. If there is but one religion, why do you
white people differ so much about it?” --Red Jacket, 1805 speech
Irony - use of a word in such a way as to convey a meaning opposite to the literal meaning of the word
a.
“This plan means that one generation pays for another. Now that’s just dandy.” --Huey P. Long
b.
“By Spring, if God was good, all the proud privileges of trench lice, mustard gas, spattered brains, punctured lungs,
ripped guts, asphyxiation, mud and gangrene might be his.” --Thomas Wolfe, Look Homeward Angel
Onomatapoeia - use of words whose sound echoes the sense
a.
“Snap, crackle, pop!” --Commercial
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b.
“…From the clamor and the clangor of the bells!” –Edgar Allan Poe, “The Bells”
Oxymoron - the yoking of two terms which are ordinarily contradictory
a.
“The unheard sounds came through, each melodic line existed of itself, stood out clearly from all the rest,
said its piece, and waiting patiently for the other voices to speak.” --Ralph Ellison, Invisible Man
b.
“Still waking sleep, that is not what it is!/ This love I feel, that feel no love is this.” --William Shakespeare,
Romeo and Juliet
Paradox - an apparently contradictory statement that nevertheless contains a measure of truth
a.
“And yet, it was a strangely satisfying experience for an invisible man to hear the silence of sound.”—Ralph
Ellison, Invisible Man
b.
“Art is a form of lying in order to tell the truth.” --Pablo Picasso
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3-Cs
3-Cs are the most concise form of writing for the AP Literature Exam. In writing these
short journals, you will learn the art of economy, citation, and analysis of the terms and devices you have
been learning in class. You must write 18 3-Cs Assignments by the end of the semester (no more than
two a week), and they must follow the specific patterns below.
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POETRY DRILLS
On the AP Exam, you will be expected to read, dissect, and analyze poems in various ways. As a way to prepare you for
the dissection, we will use several Annotation Methods in class. These will be called Poetry Drills and the three we will use are
listed below:
SOAPS(tone) Method
1. Read poem aloud twice.
2. Identify the rhetorical stance (SOAPStone)
Speaker
Occasion
Audience
Purpose--is the purpose of the speaker the same as that of the author?
Subject
Tone
3. Identify literal level of meaning
Paraphrase aloud
Consider implication of title
4. Identify key examples of diction
Look up unfamiliar words
Consider sound (phonetic intensives, assonance, consonance, and alliteration)
Consider rhyme and repetition
Is the language euphonious or cacophonous?
Identify ambiguous words or phrases
Categorize the diction
Check for allusions
5. Identify key details
Identify sensory details--consider which senses they engage
6. Identify imagery
Categorize the imagery
Look for repetitions or extensions of images
7. Reread the poem.
Reconsider the subject--what is the subject of the poem at and beyond the literal level?
Reconsider SOAPStone.
Write a tentative thesis that explains the relationship between the thematic and the technical levels of the poem.
8. Characterize the language, i.e. formal, clinical, jargon
9. Identify syntactical patterns
Identify rhetorical devices (schemes and tropes)
Identify patterns of emphasis or repetition
10. Identify rhythm and meter
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11. Reconsider relationship between theme and technique
12. Restate thesis
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TPS-FASTT
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AIM Model
Taking A-I-M: Encouraging Complete Analysis
Effective analysis requires much of a writer. Unlike the discourse you see on talk shows, where someone states an
opinion based on nothing but his or her own OPINION, analysis requires EVIDENCE. However, moving from the text to a thesis
requires more than merely providing a quote. It requires you to
TAKE A-I-M!!
When you are analyzing a text, you need to make sure that your ideas are based on careful analysis of the text, rather
than feelings or personal opinion. The following steps will encourage discipline in analysis:
1. Annotate:
In other words, underline words/phrases that seem important. You may even find connections between underlined
words/phrases and draw arrows/lines between them. Are literary devices in action? The point is to make sure that
you choose some specific textual examples and then write brief commentary next to the text you select.
2. Infer:
At this point, you need to comment directly on the words/phrases you have selected so that you can draw
INFERENCES from your observations. Is there a discernable pattern? Is there something concrete you notice
about the words/phrases? Do they contribute to the literal action, or are they figurative? In other words, in what
ways do all of your observations function in the context of the piece as a whole?
3. Main Idea:
Taking all of your annotations and inferences into account, you are then prepared to discuss a main idea in the
text you are analyzing. If you are looking at the text as a whole you may wish to draft a thesis statement that
addresses your text. Remember that your thesis must always address a specific subject and a specific opinion
concerning that subject based on the evidence.
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Vendler Model (Emotional Curve)
Excerpted from Helen Vendler. Poems, Poets, Poetry: An Introduction and Anthology. Boston: Bedford, 1997.
New terms: agency, skeleton, emotional curve, contexts of diction, chains of significant relation, speech acts, outer form.
1.
Meaning: Can you paraphrase in prose the general outline of the poem?
2.
Antecedent Scenario: What has been happening before the poem begins? What has provoked the speaker into
utterance? How has a previous equilibrium been unsettled? What is the speaker upset about?
3.
Division into parts: How many? Where do the breaks come?
4.
The climax: How do the other parts fall into place around it?
5.
The other parts: What makes you divide the poem into these parts? Are there changes in person? In agency? In
tense? In parts of speech?
6.
Find the skeleton: What is the emotional curve on which the whole poem is strung? (It even helps to draw a shape—a
crescendo, perhaps, or an hourglass-shape, or a sharp ascent followed by a steep decline—so you’ll know how the poem
looks to you as a whole.)
7.
Games with the skeleton: How is this emotional curve made new?
8.
Language: What are the contexts of diction: chains of significant relation; parts of speech emphasized, tenses; and so
on?
9.
Tone: Can you name the pieces of the emotional curve—the changes in tone you can hear in the speaker’s voice as the
poem goes along?
10. Agency and its speech acts: Who is the main agent in the poem, and does the main agent change as the poem
progresses? See what the main speech act of the agent is, and whether that changes. Notice oddities about agency and
speech acts.
11. Roads not taken: Can you imagine the poem written in a different person, or a different tense, or with the parts
rearranged, or with an additional stanza, or with one stanza left out, conjecturing by such means why the poem might
have wanted these pieces in this order?
12. Genres: What are they by content, by speech act, and by outer form?
13. The imagination: What has it invented that is new, striking, memorable—in content, in genre, in analogies, in rhythm, in
a speaker?
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