“The Safest Place on Earth” and “Connecting”
Book Notes by Brian Hofmeister
Crabb, Larry, The Safest Place on Earth, Nashville: Word Publishing, 1999.
Crabb, Larry, Connecting, and Nashville: Word Publishing, 1997.
Key Points
Larry Crabb’s book Connecting does not see counselors as the key to solving
people’s problems. He thinks that counselors spend more time identifying the problem
than they do killing it. The alternative for help is “connecting” in Christian community.
By “connecting,” Crabb means that two souls touch each other, or that the Jesus
in one person touches the Jesus in another. In my terms, he is calling for Christians to
feel the burdens of another rather than instruct or advise them. Crabb is not all that
concerned with fixing a person’s problems or hurts. He leaves small room for doing so if
necessary, but he instead preaches an abandonment of these problems for the sake of
grasping on to God’s intentions and man’s desires. The two of these are bound together
in harmoniously in believers. In the midst of acknowledging the disruptiveness of sin,
Crabb believes that the Holy Spirit in the heart of every believer gives them a natural
desire to do good.
Assuming the desire for good in every believer is the foundation for Crabb’s
approach to healing. “Connecting” heals as it identifies the “good” in a person and then
helps them release it. Releasing the “good” does not primarily focus on the problem at
hand. It takes attention away from the problem and directs a focus toward God. Crabb
sees every problem as a spiritual problem with disconnection from God as its root. He
therefore joins people in their pursuit of God more so than their pursuit of problem
remedies, knowing that first will take care of the second.
Crabb’s next book The Safest Place on Earth expands his “connecting”
philosophy. “Brokenness” is emphasized as a needed component. Dreams must be
shattered to take on new ones. We are in a state of listening when things fall apart.
People need to be weak and open as they expose themselves. Busyness and fear of being
let down prevents many from attempting to do this. People often get let down because
most people do not seem to care, and the ones that do care are too busy. Even when such
a relationship is attempted, many fail because a person either hides or parades their
problems. All is useless if you do not open up some of your soul to another, but at the
same time too much of this can result in putting on a show rather than seeking
community help.
With such obstacles present, is community really possible? Crabb says yes; he
faces the difficulties with faith. First of all, he makes the size of this vision realistic by
saying, “Stay involved not everywhere, with everyone, but somewhere, with a few.”
With the size being realistic, he also makes the means realistic. God is the only hope for
achieving community. It will be a miracle when it happens, which shows us it must come
from God. The Bible refers to this miracle as a mystery which God will complete to the
amazement of all, and to the glory of Him. Having this in mind should inspire a passion
for prayer regarding community not greater personal control.
This book is once again dependent upon the belief that good exists in believers.
He explains the one’s inner self as having a lower room and upper room. The lower
room consists of sin, worldly cares, and things that we try to maintain. The contrasting
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upper room is a place of purity, rest, and abiding in God. The community of believers
should show other believers that they have this upper room and subsequently should
move to there as the dominant place from which they live
Contribution to Counseling
Crabb’s views on community make counseling realistic for those with minimal
training. The average person can excel in his system. All that is need is a concerned
heart, and attentiveness to the Spirit. His words go so far as to discourage people from
seeking professional training in counseling. This could ultimately be very encouraging to
the pastoral counselor who questions his or her abilities.
Another refreshing aspect of Crabb’s approach is that he does not propose a “how
to” process. Many breakthroughs in ministry are attempted by implementing a plan,
strategy, or process. The solutions are often presented in such a way that one may
wonder if they really need God for success. Crabb on the other hand expresses complete
dependence upon God. Even when expressing practical steps that can be taken, he is sure
to expose that community is a miracle in God’s hands. Seeking God’s guidance in
connecting with people is the heart of his proposition. Emphasizing dependence on God
relieves pastoral counselor from a load they cannot bear.
Besides relieving pastoral counselors with depending on God, Crabb also relieves
them by mobilizing laity. Interaction of lay members is the only way for connecting.
This is a nice relief from weighty responsibility when laity minister to themselves, yet is
also helpful for the character of the pastoral counselor. The pastoral counselor learns
humility as the congregation heals itself without need for his or her “expert” contribution.
Besides encouraging those who are minimally trained, his thoughts complement
the superior resources of the professionals. He encourages the professionals to see
human need for connecting, not just problem solving. A more sympathetic and sincere
approach to counseling sessions may result.
Although I affirm much of Crabb’s outlooks, I would cast applications thereof
into a different mold. His application seems a disproportionately “feely.” I got the
impression from my reading that Crabb is so fed up with know-it-all solutions that he has
gone to an inappropriate extreme of just feeling along with other people’s feeling.
Chapter 15 of Connecting seemed uncharacteristic of the rest of the book, yet a step in
the right direction. This chapter encourages a doctor like approach to struggling
believers. This involves tough questions and serious urgency. In other words, we open
up a person’s problem and work towards healing it even if they don’t really like it. This
strong, upfront, and sincere love is often needed. We cannot always wait for and “open
door” before addressing a problem. “Connecting” with a person's feelings does not help
when superficial lies are all that is shared. I think it is appropriate to knock down a
friends wall if they do not “open a door” for you when dealing with serious spiritual
matters. Wounds of a friend can be trusted. Crabb touches on this aspect of love only
briefly. I believe he has underemphasized confrontation and overemphasized sharing
feelings. Both are needed, yet I do not agree with how he proportions the two.