(A well is set up down stage to one side)
JOE: Hello Everyone! Welcome to the show. My Name is Jo and I’m the Zookeeper
here at the Kids Club Zoo. It’s my job to make sure the animals have lots to eat, that
their cages are clean & tidy and to make sure they take their medicine when they’re
sick. Kind of like your Mum and Dad do for you.
(Bring on Loosely Woven and set up Going to the Zoo go through Chorus actions,
marching on the spot, Elephant, Monkey, Lion, Bear)
“Going to the Zoo”
Daddy’s taking us to the Zoo tomorrow, Zoo tomorrow, Zoo tomorrow.
Daddy’s taking us to the Zoo tomorrow, and we can stay all day!
We’re Going to the Zoo, Zoo, Zoo
How about You, You, You?
You can come Too, Too, Too
We’re going to the Zoo, Zoo, Zoo
See the Elephant with the Long Trunk swinging,
The Great big ears and the long trunk swinging,
Sniffin’ up peanuts with the long trunk swinging,
And we can stay all day!
We’re Going to the Zoo, Zoo, Zoo
How about You, You, You?
You can come Too, Too, Too
We’re going to the Zoo, Zoo, Zoo
See all the Monkey’s scritch, scritch, scratchin’
Jumpin’ all around and a scritch, scritch, scratchin’
Hanging by their long tails scritch, scritch, scratchin’
And we can stay all day!
We’re Going to the Zoo, Zoo, Zoo
How about You, You, You?
You can come Too, Too, Too
We’re going to the Zoo, Zoo, Zoo
See the fierce Lion he’s a roar, roar, roarin’
Prowlin’ all around he’s a roar, roar, roarin’
King of the jungle he’s a roar, roar, roarin’
And we can stay all day!
We’re Going to the Zoo, Zoo, Zoo
How about You, You, You?
You can come Too, Too, Too
We’re going to the Zoo, Zoo, Zoo
1
Big Black Bear he’s a snore, snore, snorin’
Sleeps all day he’s a snore, snore, snorin’
Grumpy ol’ bear he’s a snore, snore, snorin’
And we can stay all day!
We’re Going to the Zoo, Zoo, Zoo
How about You, You, You?
You can come Too, Too, Too
We’re going to the Zoo, Zoo, Zoo
(Into going to the Zoo, Animals enter and do their actions in their verse. Jo is down
stage to the side helping with the actions rather than singing. It ends with all of the
animals making a ruckus and jumping about and waving at the kiddies. Bear come out
at the end with a pillow over his ears. The animals are scared off stage along with Jo as
Bear begins his rant.)
(Ian has room for improv here)
BEAR: Won’t you all quiet down? I’m trying to get some sleep here! You all have no
consideration for the less active Zoo animals. Honestly sometimes I feel like I’m on the
Ning Nang Nong. Do you all know the Ning Nang Nong? No…? We’ll there’s a poem
that will tell you all about it.
(Bear coordinates The Ning Nang Nong poem with the audiences help)
On the Ning Nang Nong
Where the Cows go Bong!
And the monkeys all say BOO!
There's a Nong Nang Ning
Where the trees go Ping!
And the teapots jibber jabber joo.
On the Nong Ning Nang
All the mice go Clang
And you just can't catch 'em when they do!
So it’s Ning Nang Nong
Cows go Bong!
Nong Nang Ning
Trees go ping
Nong Ning Nang
The mice go Clang
What a noisy place to belong
It’s the Ning Nang, Ning Nang
Ning Nang Nong
The Ning Nang, Ning Nang Nong!
So it’s Ning Nang Nong
Cows go Bong!
Nong Nang Ning
Trees go ping
Nong Ning Nang
The mice go Clang
What a noisy place to belong
It’s the Ning Nang, Ning Nang
Ning Nang Nong
The Ning Nang, Ning Nang Nong!
BEAR: You see what I mean now? Every day it’s the same thing. I don’t think I can
bare it for much longer!
(He finds a coin on the ground and picks it up.)
2
BEAR: Hey look at this…. See a penny pick it up and then all day you’ll have good luck.
Maybe my luck is about to change. Perhaps while I have this lucky coin the other
animals will stop making so much noise.
(A large amount of noise comes from the background)
BEAR: I guess not. Argh, I WISH the animals at Kids Club Zoo would all just stop
making so much noise!
(Tossing the coin over his shoulder and into the well. Everything goes quiet.)
BEAR: AH, that’s better.
(Bear exits. Jo enters. A Zebra is sneakily spying in on this scene.)
JOE: Oh dear. It’s been weeks and the animals haven’t been making any noises, and
because of that less and less people have been coming to the Zoo.
BOSS: (Voiceover) Zookeeper Jo!!
JOE: Yes Boss!?
BOSS: Why aren’t there any people coming to my Zoo?!
JOE: Not sure Boss.
BOSS: Well if you don’t have 100 people waiting to get in when we open tomorrow
morning I’m going to sell the Zoo!
JOE: But Boss, what will happen to the animals?!
BOSS: We’ll have them stuffed and sent to the Museum for all I care. A zoo with no
visitors doesn’t make me any money! I could build a car park here with hundreds of
levels, for thousands of cars and make millions of dollars a day! Here, put this sign up
before you go home. The bulldozers will be here in the morning.
JOE: But! … Yes. Boss.
(Jo brings a “Land For Sale: Demolition tomorrow” Sign to the front of the stage and
sets it up.)
JOE: What am I going to do? If only I could TALK to the animals. Maybe then they
could tell me what’s wrong.
(Go into “Talk to the animals” At the end Jo sees the wishing well and pulls a coin out of
her pocket)
3
Talk to the Animals
If we could talk to the animals, just imagine it
Chatting to a chimp in chimpanzee
Imagine talking to a tiger, chatting to a cheetah
What a neat achievement that would be.
If we could talk to the animals, learn their languages
Maybe take an animal degree.
We'd study elephant and eagle, buffalo and beagle,
Alligator, guinea pig, and flea.
We would converse in polar bear and python,
And we could curse in fluent kangaroo.
If people asked us, can you speak in rhinoceros,
We'd say, "Of courserous, can't you?"
If we could talk to the animals, learn their languages
Think of all the things we could discuss
If we could walk with the animals, talk with the animals,
Grunt and squeak and squawk with the animals,
And they could squeak and squawk and speak and talk to us.
JOE: I WISH I could talk to the animals.
(Throws the coin into the well)
JOE: It’s a nice dream, but wishing wells aren’t real and we all know animals can’t talk!
I’m sure if we get the animals making noise again, we can save the zoo. The question is
HOW? Oh well. Maybe I’ll think of something before tomorrow… Goodnight animals!
(Jo exits)
4
(After Zebra Overhears BOSS tell Jo that The Animals are going to be stuffed and sold,
to the museum. There is a sign reading “Land for Sale. Demolition tomorrow.” Zebra
leads Elephant, Lion and the other animals out)
ZEBRA: Hey everyone! You’d better take a look at this.
LION: Hmm… There’s not usually a sign there. What does it say?
MONKEY: I don’t know. I can’t read!
L: Oh dear, neither can I! Maybe we should ask them for help.
(Indicating to the Audience.)
ELEPHANT: Can you read this sign for us?
LION: What was that?.... Land. For. Sale… Dem-o-lition. Tomorrow morning!?!?
ELEPHANT: But why would they destroy our home?
ZEBRA: I heard the BOSS say that the Zoo’s going to be turned into a car park.
ELEPHANT: But what will happen to US?
MONKEY: We’ll be in the streets! Eating out of garbage bins!
LION: Living in cardboard boxes in cold, dark alleys!
ELEPHANT: No Peanuts! No sponge baths!
LION: No manicures. No clean warm bed.
ZEBRA: It gets worse guys. The BOSS said he’s going to have us all stuffed! And sent
to the museum!!
ALL: STUFFED!?!?
MONKEY: You mean....
ELEPHANT: That’s right Monkey, your poo throwing days are numbered.
LION: This must be because of the day we mysteriously stopped making our special
animal noises. Now no one comes to visit.
ELEPHANT: If only we could work out how to get our animal noises back. Then people
would come to the Zoo again and it wouldn’t have to close!
MONKEY: But we’ve tried everything. What are we going to do!
ZEBRA: Whatever it is it better be quick. We’ve only got until tomorrow morning.
LION: Calm down, maybe we just need some outside help. Who do we know who’s
REALLY smart?
5
ELEPHANT: Someone who has a finger in every pie.
MONKEY: Who always gets out of situations that really suck!
LION: What about the Octopus!?
MONKEY & ELEPHANT: The Octopus!?
MONKEY: But he’s Creepy!
ELEPHANT: And Scary.
MONKEY: And Slimy.
ELEPHANT: And just plain weird.
LION: I think we need to go to the Aquarium; maybe the Octopus can shed some light
on our problem.
MONKEY: Actually I’d just prefer to stay here and shed some fur!
ELEPHANT: But no one who goes to see him ever comes back!
MONKEY: Remember Kevin, the Toucan. We never saw him again!
LION: But the Octopus is the only chance we’ve got.
ELEPHANT: Maybe someone else wants’ to go…?
LION: There’s only one way to solve this. Everyone stand in a line… now close your
eyes. And anyone who’s not a fraidy cat, and wants to see the Octopus, take a step
forward.
(Everyone on stage acts this out, Monkey and Elephant don’t step forward, but all of the
other animals take a step back. Monkey and Elephant open their eyes to see that
they’ve been picked.)
LION: So it’s settled. We’re off to the aquarium. Let’s get moving, we’ve no time to lose!
ELEPHANT: But … How will we get there? We’ve never been outside the Zoo.
LION: I thought we’d take the train.
6
(Monkey creeps on, he’s lost in the Octopus’s Garden and separated from Lion and
Elephant, Octopus creeps up behind him and pounces on him.)
OCTOPUS: Halt fiend! Now I’ve got you, What are you doing in my garden?!
MONKEY: Argh! Get off me! Get off me!! Help!!!
OCTOPUS: You’re here to steal something aren’t you, you horrible hairy Neanderthal!
(Lion and Elephant enter and rush to Monkey’s rescue.)
ELEPHANT: Unhand him you slimy, eight legged monster!
(Lion pulls Octopus off Monkey and holds him back.)
OCTOPUS: You creepy scary creatures with your fur and your tails and your claws and
your only four feet. Unhand me! I warn you I’m armed!
MONKEY: You watch it mister, I’ve got perfect aim and a full arsenal!
(Bending over to show the Octopus his bum)
ELEPHANT: Hold the poo. Actually Octopus, we came here for your help.
OCTOPUS: My help? You not here to scare poor old Octopus?
LION: We thought you might have an answer to our problem.
OCTOPUS: Well why didn’t you say so!? Come in, come in, sit down, and make
yourselves at home. It’s been so long since I’ve had visitors! Not since that Toucan
Kevin.
MONKEY: Kevin! What did you do to him?
OCTOPUS: Nothing! Just give him advice. He wanted to be big movie star. I tell him
best place to go is Hollywood. You see him now as extra in Finding Nemo and
Madagascar. But, tell me this problem. What help you need?
ELEPHANT: Well it all started a few weeks ago.
LION: One day we mysteriously stopped being able to make our special animal noises.
MONKEY: And now no one comes to the Zoo.
ELEPHANT: And if we don’t fix it by morning, they’re going to demolish the Zoo.
LION: And then they’re going to stuff us!
MONKEY: And sell us to a museum!
LION: You just have to help us!
7
OCTOPUS: Hmmm…. yes, this is big problem … here, let me see your tonsils. Now
say “Aahhh...” Hmmm ... may I feel your glands...
MONKEY: But those are my feet!
OCTOPUS: Oh yes, my mistake. Now rub your belly, pat your head. Now stand on one
leg turn your head and cough. Hmmm is not looking good... now you say “Da”
ELEPHANT: “Da?”
OCTOPUS: And you say “Doo”
LION: “Doo?”
OCTOPUS: Good. Now you say “Ron”
MONKEY: “Ron?”
OCTOPUS: Now once more with feeling as I point to you.
(Set up Da Doo Ron Ron)
I met him on a Monday and my heart stood still
Da doo ron ron ron da doo ron ron
Somebody told me that his name was Bill
Da doo ron ron ron da doo ron ron
Yes, my heart stood still
Yes, his name was Bill
And when he walked me home
Da doo ron ron ron da doo ron ron
OCTOPUS: (Reminiscent) Ahh that takes me back to my showgirl days in the Sea
World chorus. (Back to present) I’m sorry I can’t help you. Good bye.
(Octopus goes to leave but is stopped by the others)
ELEPHANT: What!?
LION: Why not?
MONKEY: You’re supposed to be the smartest creature in the animal kingdom.
LION: I’m always hearing stories about your wild adventures and clever antics.
OCTOPUS: Please! I have no idea how to fix your problem. I am storyteller and
entertainer. Really I never leave my garden.
ELEPHANT: What will we do now?
MONKEY: I don’t want to be stuffed like a piñata!
8
OCTOPUS: You all come live here! Is very nice in Octopus’s garden. There even song
about it. It goes like this, hit it maestro!
Octopus’s Garden
I'd like to be under the sea
In an octopus's garden in the shade
He'd let us in, knows where we've been
In his octopus's garden in the shade
I'd ask my friends to come and see
An octopus's garden with me
I'd like to be under the sea
In an octopus's garden in the shade
We would be warm below the storm
In our little hideaway beneath the waves
Resting our head on the sea bed
In an octopus's garden near a cave
We would sing and dance around
Because we know we can't be found
I'd like to be under the sea
In an octopus's garden in the shade
We would shout and swim about
The coral that lies beneath the waves
(Lies beneath the ocean waves)
Oh what joy for every girl and boy
Knowing they're happy and they're safe
(Happy and they're safe)
We would be so happy you and me
No one there to tell us what to do
I'd like to be under the sea
In an octopus's garden with you
In an octopus's garden with you
In an octopus's garden with you
ELEPHANT: We’ll thank you Octopus, but we like the home we have now.
LION: We’ve come all this way, is there anything you can do to help us?
OCTOPUS: All I need is something big and smooth and round like ... You! Give me
your head. (Pointing to Elephant)
ELEPHANT: My head?
OCTOPUS: Yes, give me your head, come. Sit! Sit where I can gaze into your scalp. I
see… I see… a handsome creature, not a bit of hair on him, all purple and blue and
with eight glorious long legs! Oh, it’s me! I’m telling you to think about who might desire
your silence … Maybe someone you live with?
9
ELEPHANT: I’ve got it. Who’s always complaining about how much noise we make?
LION & MONKEY: The Bear.
ELEPHANT: And who’s been sleeping like a baby since we mysteriously stopped
making our animal noises?
LION & MONKEY: The Bear!
ELEPHANT: That dirty rotten snoring scoundrel!
MONKEY: Let’s go and teach him what for!
OCTOPUS: Wait, wait! (Hands over ear-muffs) Here, these should help you with your
Bear problem... Now, take the path around the back of the city. It’s quicker and will take
you right back to the Zoo.
ELEPHANT: Thanks Octopus, we’re going on a Bear hunt!
Bear Hunt
We’re going on a bear hunt. (We’re going on a bear hunt.)
We’re going to catch a big one, (we’re going to catch a big one)
I’m not scared. (I’m not scared)
What beautiful day! (What a beautiful day!)
Oh, oh! (Oh, oh!)
Grass! (Grass!)
Long wavy grass. (Long wavy grass)
We can’t go over it. (We can’t go over it.)
We can’t go under it. (We can’t go under it.)
We’ll have to go through it. (We’ll have to go through it.)
Swish, swish, swish, swish, swish, swish, swish!
10
(After going on a bear hunt.)
BEAR: Arrrgh! What’re you doing in my cave!
ELEPHANT: We’re here to teach you a lesson!
MONKEY: Give us our special animal noises back, you nasty old bear!
LION: We know you took them!
BEAR: How could I take your special noises, I’ve been asleep for weeks!
ELEPHANT: This is no time for games Bear; the sun is rising and we’re running out of
time to save the Zoo!
BEAR: Save the Zoo? Is it in trouble?
LION: People aren’t coming to the Zoo anymore since we all stopped making our
animal noises.
ELEPHANT: Because of that, they’re going to demolish it in the morning!
JOE: Animals! Oh Animals! Where are you?
AlLion: Zookeeper Jo!
(Jo Enters)
JOE: There you are!
MONKEY: Jo! Jo! You have to help us! They’re going to tear down the Zoo and we’re
all going to be stuffed. And I’m really scared! And….
JOE: Shhh…. It’s alright… I’m going to sneak you all out of here… Hold on… I can
understand you. YOU CAN TALK!
LION: We can all talk.
ELEPHANT: Always could.
JOE: That’s amazing! But, how is it I can hear you now?
MONKEY: I dunno; did your ears get bigger?
JOE: No, but I’ve always wished that I could talk to you all….
BEAR: That’s funny; I always wished you’d all be quiet so I could get some sleep.
JOE: Wait-a-minute. Bear, did you happen to throw a coin in the well a few weeks back.
Maybe after wishing everyone would be quiet?
11
BEAR: Y’know, now that I think about it. There was one day when I thought I found a
lucky penny... but it was a dud, so I threw it over my shoulder and... it must have landed
in the well!
JOE: And I found a penny and wished I could talk to you all, then threw it into the well,
just before I left last night ... I know! It must be a wishing well!
ELEPHANT: So… if we threw a coin into the well, and wished for our noises back!
LION: Then that should put everything back to normal!
MONKEY: Quick, does anyone have a coin?
(They all check their pockets but find nothing)
ELEPHANT: Well maybe someone in the audience has a coin they could give us!
JOE: Check under all of the seats just in case someone has dropped any money. Bring
every coin you find up to the front!
(The kiddies bring the coins we have left in the audience up to the stage)
JOE: Bear I think you should do it, because you made the first wish.
BEAR: Ok ... I wish that all the animals could make their special noises again.
(Hesitates before he throws the coin.)
JOE: Come on Bear, do want to end up stuffed like a turkey?
BEAR: Oh all right...
(Tosses the coin into the well.)
JOE: OK, who wants to go first?
MONKEY: I think Elephant should.
ELEPHANT: Oh, OK but I’m a bit rusty...
JOE: We need everyone to count to three for Elephant. Ready? One, two, three!
ELEPHANT: (Trumpets loudly) I did it! I did it! I have my trumpet back!!
JOE: You next Lion. Everybody count to three! One, two three!
(Lion Roars)
LION: Did you hear that! I can roar again!!
MONKEY: And now me!
12
JOE: Ok, once more everyone. One, two, three!
(Monkey Chatters)
MONKEY: Hooray!!
ELEPHANT: Let’s all make our noises together!
JOE: Let’s count them in as loud as we can!! ONE, TWO, THREE!!
(The animals all make their noises really loudly)
AlLion: Hooray!!
ELEPHANT: This calls for a celebration!
MONKEY: Let’s throw a party!
LION: You can be the guest of honour Jo.
ELEPHANT: AND Bear!
BEAR: Oh no thanks guys. All this excitement has made me sleepy. I think I’ll just hit
the hay. Although it’ll be tough with you all making noise again.
LION: Hold on old chap. I think they’re supposed to be for you.
(Gives Bear the earmuffs, bear puts them on)
BEAR: Hey, this is great! I can’t hear a thing!! Now I can sleep all day while you make
all the noise you like.
ELEPHANT: Ok, we’ll have a good night Bear.
BEAR: What?! You’ve had a good fright!? Oh, goodnight!!
(Bear exits)
JOE: Back to your places guys; let’s give them the best show ever!
(The animals Leave)
BOSS: Zookeeper Jo!
JOE: Good morning Boss!
BOSS: Where did all these people come from?!
JOE: Well they heard all of the animals this morning and decided they wanted to visit
the zoo. Looks like you don’t have to tear it down after all.
13
And that’s how the animals saved the Kid’s Club Zoo. *I saved up enough money to buy
the Zoo off the Boss so that the animals would always have a safe place to live. *As for
the bear, he slept soundly and never complained again.
(*Monkey comes out and drops coins into the well behind Jo and pulls out banana’s, Jo
catches him.)
JOE: Hey! You naughty monkey! The wishing well shouldn’t be used like that. Hand
Over those coins.
(Monkey gives reluctantly gives Jo the last coin)
MONKEY: I’m sorry.
JOE: It’s alright. Now scoot, and get ready for the last song.
(Monkey Leaves)
JOE: Hmmm…. One last coin. Better make it a good wish…. We don’t want any
problems like before…. I know! I wish that from now on, the wishing well only granted
really really really REALLY important wishes.
(Throws the coin into the well.)
JOE: There. That ought to do it! It goes to show, be careful what you wish for ‘cause
you might just get it.
Do you think we have time for one last song!?
(calling back stage)
Come on out and say good bye everyone!
Learn the language
So the ducks gave a party and invited ev’ryone.
‘Cause they wanted all the animals to come and join the fun.
But they had a little problem and it didn’t go as planned.
‘Cause they only spoke in ‘duck’ which no-one else could understand!
And the ducks said, “Quack, quack, quack, quack, quack!”
And then they said, “Quack, quack, quack, quack, quack!”
And at last they said, “Quack, quack, quack, quack,
quack, quack, quack, quack,
quack, quack, quack, quack,
quack, quack quack!”
And all the other animals said, “What?”
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