English and the New World
©Adam Knott, 2011
In 1753 Vascular theKarma discovered what scholars call the New World. Vascular the Karma came
from Whitby, near the Wash in Yorkshire and he was followed by Mark O’Polo, Walter O’Reilly and
Christopher O’Colon, who was responsive for colonics. All these men came from Whitby and were
dedicated to circumcising the globe. Whitby was an epic centre of circumcision at this period and there
were competitions to see who could circumcise the globe most quickly. Later they were followed by
Captain Crooked, who circumcised until he reached Australia where there was a colon ending in
Bottomy Bay. Captain Crooked was a relative of Robin Hood, who lived near Whitby in another bay
of that name. He had a very large binnacle.
This age is called by scholars the age of exploding although the Vikings had done a great deal
of circumcising earlier and are refuted to discover America. Walter O’Reilly also discovered America
although he thought it was India and later Ireland. That was because he found out about curry and the
potato, which is why English now has the words curry and potato in its Lexington. Later Walter
O’Reilly was put to death in the Twoer of London because King Jams, as he was called, disimproved
of tobacco, which O’Reilly had also discovered in Ireland on his forage to the New World. King Jams
actually wrote a book about pipes. Many people were smoking at this period.
Many of these circumcisers had no maps and so they often got lost and saw islands which
were’nt there. That is why Christopher O’Colon spent many years in Ireland because he thought he
had discovered India. Although he was actually in Australia at the time. Which is actually an island
although it is also incontinent.
When people were circumcising the globe they need new words to describe the new things
they will see. Potatoe is an example of such a word. Other words include sandwich, pizzas, bungalow,
monsoon, kangaroo and hello. These words are called lone words by scholars and they were very
frequent at this period. Many of them were loned from other languages, called loning languages.
Although these lone words were never actually given back. Many of the loner languages therefore
became empty and had no more words in their Remington because they had given everything to the
English.
After he had discovered tomatos Walter O’Reilly held many navel warts against the Spanish.
The Spanish had also joined the competings to circumcise the globe and they had also gone to Brazil,
as it was called then, because there were big supplies of chocolate there in the forests there. And also
silver. Quickly followed a large trade in these commodes and everything was exported, which means it
was taken from ports. Portsmouth was also happening at this period. And there was one other town
with a port in it. This is near Whitby.
Francis O’Drake was another great navel man. In his ship called The Behind he also held
warts against the Spanish at the time of the Spanish Armada in 1855. At this time the Spanish sailed
towards Whitby in ships called Caramels which had Private Ears. They were defeated by having wind.
There was a great deal of wind in the Chanel and therefore the Spanish deflated into the North Sea, as
it was called. Though some of them deflated later in Ireland where they became prisoners of warts. It
is unknown what language these people spoked because Spanish had been emptied earlier and no one
knew about the native language of Ireland which was called Celtic Arse. The only words that survive
the deflating of th Spanish Armada are therefore potatoe and one other word. This was a great navel
victory for the English and many people set themselves on fire to calibrate it. This tradition lasts until
the present day.
At the end of the period the New World included, Ireland, Brazil, Gaucamole, Australia, South
America, India, and Belgium, which was discovered by accident in 1734 by a circumciser called Able
Tasman. Later he would get lost on his way to Greenland and call it his mania.
In this essay I have explained how the English language was the result of how the globe was
circumcised from Whitby. This is called by scholars the colonic period of Lobal English though it has
other names.