A Trip to Almeria – June 2003
by J.Braithwaite
Day One – Thursday 19th June
Today we travel to Almeria from the UK. The flight is quick – a little over two hours.
As the plane descends into Almeria airport we have clear views – the blue sea of the
Mediterranean and the white sea of plastic from the greenhouses that shroud the
fertile land of the region.
The first thing that hits us getting off the plane is the heat, as we hurry into the
terminal to collect our luggage and begin the holiday proper. First stop the car rental
office.
This was the first time I had driven outside of the UK and I was a little apprehensive
about driving on the other side of the road, but I was sure to pick it up in no time.
“Why do you keep opening the window?” asks Helen. “I’m trying to change gear” I
reply.
We had been given foolproof directions from the airport to our self-catering
apartments in Roquettas de Mar. An hour later we arrive back at the airport to attempt
the route for the third time. I was a little hot and bothered, not only from the stress of
getting lost twice, but also because the air-conditioning doesn’t work to full effect
when you open the window every time you stop at a junction.
Finally we’re happy that we’re on the right track, and soon we find ourselves
surrounded by landscape so familiar from the Spaghetti Westerns. It is not long before
we arrive at the apartments. “Did you find us OK?” “Yes” I lie. A brief introduction
to our surroundings, pointing out the nearest supermarkets etc.
We ask where we can park the car and are given foolproof directions to the car park.
Half an hour later we’ve found it. By now it’s getting on for 11.00 pm. Fortunately
the Spanish seem to eat very late, we have no problem finding a restaurant that is still
serving. At last we can relax with some good food and a few San Miguels.
Day Two – Friday 20th June
We have been called for a meeting with our holiday rep at 10:30 am. Oh terrific - a
chance to find out where all the British pubs are, where we will receive a warm
welcome from Sheila and Terry, who can supply us with a full English breakfast,
roast beef for Sunday Lunch, and a pub quiz on a Monday night.
Page 1 of 11
We feel obliged to attend the meeting, as one of the things we wish to visit is the
Alhambra in Granada. As they limit the availability of tickets, and advanced booking
is advised, we feel it best to go as part of an organised excursion.
The holiday rep runs through a list of local attractions – There’s a Top Shop at the
Gran Plaza shopping centre, a McDonalds up the road towards Almeria, and Sheila
and Terry will give you a warm welcome at …. AARRRRGGHHH.
“Is there anywhere local that we can see some traditional flamenco?” I enquire. The
holiday rep looks at me like I’m mad - “People don’t really go in for that around
here”.
And then Mini Hollywood is mentioned. My ears prick up. “… where they filmed ‘A
Fistful of Dollars’ …”.
I consider rising up in protest at this amateurish mistake. “NO, NO, NO. Mini
Hollywood was the set designed by Carlo Simi as the town of El Paso in ‘For A Few
Dollars More’ - some scenes from ‘The Good, the Bad and Ugly’ were filmed there but ‘A Fistful of Dollars’ was NOT filmed at Mini Hollywood.”
I look around at the other people in the group - half are bored, the other half are
obviously itching to get to Top Shop. I decide to bite my tongue.
Having booked our place on the Alhambra excursion, the morning has gone and its
time for lunch and a siesta. We decide not to do much today except potter around the
local resort and spend some time watching the sea roll in from a beach café.
That evening we find a small restaurant and have a chance to sample the local
delicacy of cured ham – something we soon become addicted to. We plan the next
day’s excursion – correction - I plan the next day’s excursion - Mini Hollywood. I
can’t wait.
Day Three – Saturday 21st June
We set off early for Mini Hollywood, in order to arrive at opening time and get some
decent photos before the crowds amass. The route takes us through Rioja (not the one
famous for its wine) and we are met by a large silhouette of a bull on a hillside. We
are now truly in Spaghetti Western country. The further we go, the more dramatic the
landscape, heading towards the Tabernas Desert and the Western theme park territory.
It is not long before we arrive at Mini Hollywood, 15 minutes before opening time.
From the car park I can clearly make out familiar buildings – The Bank of El Paso,
and the distinctive three roof arches of the sheriff’s office.
Other people soon arrive, but we’re first in and get some wonderful tourist-free photo
opportunities. Heading through a row of buildings we turn right into the main street,
instantly recognisable as ‘El Paso’ from ‘For a Few Dollars More’ – Ahead is
Monco’s Hotel, opposite is Colonel Mortimer’s hotel, and to the right The Bank of El
Page 2 of 11
Paso. The buildings have obviously been modified over the years and given fresh
paint jobs. Walking to the end of the main street I look back to see the view of El
Paso, first seen when Monco rides into town – even the shape of the surrounding
landscape is familiar. The town is much smaller than it appears in the film – the
distant mountain is more a nearby hill, but that is part of the filmmaker’s art.
In the background a selection of Western music plays. Some is from Spaghetti
Westerns - unfortunately not original versions, but poor covers.
At the bank I stop to remember the scene where Klaus Kinski, Aldo Sanbrell and
Luigi Pistilli count the duration for the guards to walk to perimeter. “Uno … Dos
….”. What’s Spanish for three ? I can’t remember. Never mind.
We watch the Wild West show from the balcony of the Yellow Rose saloon, outside
the window where Colonel Mortimer surveyed the town through his spyglass. The
show is performed to Ennio Morricone music – the original recordings this time. One
of the actors looks a little like Keanu Reeves, but during the 20-minute show he pulls
three facial expressions - so I guess he must be half as talented again. The show ends
with a showdown that lasts for about 20 seconds – I’m outraged – “They’re supposed
to stare at each other for 5 minutes at least”.
After the show everyone heads for the Saloon for a drink and to escape the midday
sun. I look around for a hunchback to light a match on, as I shout “Tequila!” to a
cowering bartender. They have strict drink-driving laws in Spain, so I settle for CokeCola instead.
We decide to stay at Mini Hollywood for lunch. There is a buffet in the restaurant.
The food is fit for a cowboy – tastes like a horse’s rear-end.
Leaving Mini Hollywood, we decide not to pack all the Western towns into one day,
so head straight for Western Leone, leaving Texas Hollywood for later in the week.
As we drive down the dirt track, we can clearly see the McBain ranch from ‘Once
Upon A Time in the West’. It is soon apparent that we are the only tourists here.
A cowboy approaches, “Hola Amigos”. We try to strike up a conversation but I know
no Spanish, and he knows no English. The only two words we seem to mutually
recognise are “Sergio Leone”. He starts to describe something about the ranch house
in detail. I nod enthusiastically. He finishes relating his tale. “Si?”. “Non comprende”
I say in my best French accent. He shrugs and walks off.
We walk around the McBain ranch, now with a horrendous Saloon sign above the
door. I whistle the Harmonica theme and picture the final showdown from ‘Once
Upon A Time in the West’. We wander inside for more refreshments. The lady that
runs the saloon approaches with a portfolio of photos. I look through enthusiastically.
I too have brought a portfolio of photos to refer to – lobby cards and screen captures.
She looks through this. “Ah, Henry Fonda” she says as she points to a picture of
Charles Bronson. We strike up a conversation. She talks for ten minutes – I nod
enthusiastically – She finishes relating her tale. “Si?”. “Non comprende” I say in my
best French accent.
Page 3 of 11
I show her some pictures of the El Condor Fort from my portfolio. I know it’s near
here somewhere. “Donde estan?” (“Where Is?”) I ask pointing at the picture, hoping
she can point me in the right direction. She talks some more. I don’t understand a
word.
We leave the ranch. The surrounding buildings hold little interest as they are obvious
late additions in order to turn the location into a Western town, in competition to the
neighbouring attractions. Many are still under construction. We leave embarrassed –
embarrassed by our own pathetic grasp of the Spanish language and our inability to
communicate with people that I would have loved to have talked at length with. We
also feel embarrassed for them at the lack of visitors. The cowboy approaches again to
inform us that the Wild West show will start in one hour. We make our excuses (a
convenient use of the old “non comprende”) and leave for our resort.
Day Four – Sunday 22nd June – The Day of the Granny
Today we head for Cabo De Gata, a peninsula to the east of Almeria. This is said to
be the driest, hottest place in Europe, and has a protected Natural Park for its plant
and bird life. Flamingos can be frequently spotted on the salt marshes. But it is also an
area that has several sites of interest for the Spaghetti Western tourist.
By now I have truly mastered the art of driving abroad. I am like a true Spanish
matador behind the wheel, daring other cars to come near and then swerving at the
last moment to avoid contact. I take each pedestrian crossing to be a challenging
human chicane.
Leaving the motorway we head down into the peninsula. The barren landscape would
seem devoid of human life if it were not for row upon row of plastic covered
greenhouses. Crop growing, particularly tomatoes, is a thriving business in this area,
especially when considering that crops are harvested through winter when the yield
from the rest of Europe is low.
We head to the village of Los Albaricoques, and follow a sign for the ‘Cortijo Del
Fraile’. We seem to drive for an eternity down a red dusty track, before considering
that we may have taken a wrong turn. On the verge of turning back to have another
look at that road sign, we decide to persevere around one more bend, and there ahead
of us is an instantly recognisable vista.
This building was used in several Spaghetti Westerns, but is mostly associated as the
Friary from ‘The Good, the Bad and the Ugly’ where Tuco takes Blondie to recover
from his hike through the desert. Although falling into disrepair, it still very much
resembles how it looked in the film, standing unaltered and in majestic solitude. We
take time for photos and to wander round. Not another living being is in sight – a
great opportunity to stand and reflect in silence. I imagine Sergio Leone framing the
scene through the camera.
Then in the distance a cloud of red dust rises. I imagine that Tuco and Blondie are
about to emerge from the desert on their wagon pulled by six horses. But no - wait a
Page 4 of 11
minute …. Out of the cloud of dust emerges four Land Rovers painted in zebra strips.
I’m surprised they don’t have ‘Ride of the Valkyries’ blasting from loud speakers.
They pull up in front of me and I see that the back of each Safari vehicle is packed
with old grannies. I stare at them … they stare back at me. We share that universal
expression that asks “What the hell are you doing here?” We head back to the car,
only to be shocked to realise that what was once a bright silver Toyota Yaris, is now a
dusty red Toyota Yaris.
It is later that I learn that the Cortijo Del Fraile has a bloody history that was adapted
by Federico Garçia Lorca for his play ‘Blood Wedding’. In 1928 a farmer, who lived
there, offered a large dowry for his younger daughter. This angered his elder daughter
and her husband such that they hatched a plan that the husband’s brother would offer
marriage and the three would split the dowry. However, on her wedding day the bride
attempted to run away with her cousin. On leaving they met her elder sister and
husband. The cousin was shot in the head and younger daughter half-strangled.
Maybe that’s what held such fascination for these old ladies – an excursion to satisfy
a sadistic bloodlust?
Returning to Los Albaricoques, the red dusty track seems to go on forever again. We
slow to a crawl for the more uneven sections. There are times when I feel lucky that
we haven’t got a puncture.
We stop at the village to find more film locations. Again this village featured in
numerous movies, but most predominantly in Leone’s ‘For a Few Dollars More’ as
the town of ‘Agua Caliente’.
Straight away we come to an area of land that was once the duel arena from the
climax to the film. The sight is in ruins with only a few remnants of the circular wall
in place, and it now appears to be a dumping ground for rotten vegetables. “When the
chimes end pick up your gun. Try and shoot me Colonel … just …. EEEERRRRRR!”
- “What?” – “I’ve just stepped on a tomato!”
Wandering further into the village, we find the street where Monco faces the three
Mexican gunmen. The adjacent street is also recognisable, not only from the
previously mentioned film, but also from ‘A Fistful of Dollars’. It is here that ‘The
Man with No Name’ rides his mule into town and is passed by a Mexican leaving
town with the words ‘Adios Amigo’ pinned to his back.
The locals seem little perturbed to see a tourist taking photos – I guess they’re getting
used to strangers riding into town armed with a 35mm shooter.
Leaving Los Albaricoques we head further south towards San Jose on the coast. Just
outside the town we stop at the Hotel Cortijo De Sotillo. This was used as Marisol’s
house in ‘A Fistful of Dollars’. Although the hotel owner has extensively modernised
the building, the exterior is still unmistakable. I spend time referring to my portfolio
to line up the perfect shot. I position myself so that what I see through the viewfinder
replicates what Leone saw through his camera.
He shouts “Action” as Clint Eastwood enters frame-right on a mule.
Page 5 of 11
I shout “Action” as four old grannies enter frame-right at a crawl.
Is this another excursion to satisfy their blood-lust? Was the hotel once the scene of a
cruel massacre? I have plenty of time to contemplate this, as ten minutes later, the old
grannies exit frame-left.
Having at last got my shot. We head into the hotel, as this was also used for interior
scenes for ‘A Fistful of Dollars’. We ask permission of the bartender to take some
photos, but soon realise that the grannies have settled in the exact spot where I want to
set up my camera.
We order some drinks at the bar. “Dos Cola, por favor.” Hey, who needs to know how
to count to three when you’re travelling as a couple.
We wait a while longer for the grannies to move. I hum some Morricone themes. We
order some more drinks. “Dos Cola, por favor.” As Harmonica would say “Well you
know music and you can count … all the way up to two.”
It looks like the grannies have settled for a siesta, exchanging tales of gruesome
murder. I take the best shot I can and we leave.
The rest of the day is spent relaxing in San Jose.
Day Five – Monday 23rd June – San Juan’s Day
We head to the village of Turrillas to see the church of Santa Maria. My movie
location guidebook says the interior of this church was used in ‘For a Few Dollars
More’ as the hideout for El Indio and his gang.
The road turns to a single lane as it winds it’s way up the steep hillside to the village.
At points it is not for the faint hearted. Eventually we get to the village. The views are
amazing.
We circumnavigate the church to find all doors firmly bolted – there is no sign of
anyone around. I peek through the keyhole on the main entrance. I can barely make
out a balcony that looks similar to that from the church in the film, but is this is a
common feature of churches in this area? We leave frustrated, not even knowing if
this is actually the film location.
We make our way to Texas Hollywood. Turning off the main road we drive along a
track that loops back under the motorway and seems to last an eternity. It’s rough
going at times. There are times when I feel lucky that we haven’t got a puncture.
We continue on through the desert, my Ennio Morricone compilation tape playing on
the car stereo to add to the atmosphere. Morricone was undoubtedly ‘The Maestro’
when it came to Spaghetti Western scores, even if he did compose one of the all time
most annoying themes with ‘Seven Guns for the MacGregors’. Its one of those songs
Page 6 of 11
that try as you might, you can’t get it out of your head for three days every time you
hear it. Needless to say I had not added this track to my tape.
Eventually we arrive at the western town, and pay our way in. Again the place seems
deserted. No sign of life, but for the music blaring from the loudspeakers. What’s
that? AAARRRGGHHH …. Seven Guns for the MacGregors !!!
The great thing about Texas Hollywood is that it still resembles an authentic Spaghetti
Western set. Although I do not believe that Leone ever used the set, it can be
frequently seen in other movies from the genre, such as ‘Blindman’. That it still looks
authentic, without the fresh paint of Mini Hollywood, or the new build of Western
Leone, means that filmmakers still frequent the set. The Leone tribute ‘A Dollar for
the Dead’ and the more recent Spanish movie ‘800 Balas’ were filmed here, amongst
others. It was also used for the Pepsi advert featuring David Beckham with other
Manchester United and Real Madrid players.
The lack of people add to the atmosphere of a ghost town. As well as the town set,
there is a Mexican village, a Cavalry fort and a paddock for some weird looking
horses. On closer inspection they are actually camels !!!
We head for the Saloon to escape the afternoon sun. “Dos Cola, por favor”. “You can
count … all the way up to two.”
We’re pleased that a few more people have arrived prior to the Wild West show. We
finish our drinks and head outside to ensure a good vantage point amongst the jostling
crowd of six, only to be told that today the show will take place back inside the
Saloon.
Three guys, one of whom passes for a cool looking Henry Fonda, act out the show.
They play it for laughs. And unlike many of the so called Comedy Spaghetti
Westerns, we haven’t laughed so hard in ages. We don’t understand a word they’re
saying, but much of the humour is visual – and the Spanish girl on the table next to us
is in hysterics. Laughter really is addictive.
They even get the audience involved. Henry Fonda walks up to me and threatens to
spit Tequila in my face. I point my camera back at him in an intimidating manner. I
know what your thinking – did I take 23 shots, or was it 24 – but seeing as this is a
Pentax ESPIO 160, the most powerful zoom compact in the world, you’ve got to ask
yourself one question. Do you feel lucky punk?
He backs off.
The show reaches a climax. With one guy lying dead, the other two face each other
for the final showdown. One turns to me. He speaks in Spanish, but I understand what
he is asking. He wants me to signal the time to draw by counting to three.
Blind Panic. I DON’T KNOW THREE. Everyone is staring at me.
“Uno”. The cowboys face each other their hands hovering inches from their guns.
Henry Fonda’s lip twitches as he stares down his opponent.
Page 7 of 11
“Due”. A bead of sweat runs down my brow. If Leone were filming this he would
now be zooming in on my eyes in extreme close-up. There is silence, except for the
creak of the Saloon doors from the wind coming in from the desert.
“Three,” I shout – but one of the gunmen is fast on the draw and my embarrassment is
concealed by the sound of gunfire. Phew, got out of that.
We thank the performers and leave. “Ciao” one says as we walk through the saloon
doors. At this point Helen points out that I was actually counting in Italian anyway.
Enough excitement for one day, we head back to our resort, still humming the theme
from ‘Seven Guns for the MacGregors’.
We are informed that today is Juan’s Day. “No it’s not, its Monday,” I say. “No
Juan’s Day, not Wednesday – San Juan’s Day.” This feast is held on the night of 23rd
June, to mark the anniversary of San Juan’s birth. San Juan is known to us as St. John
the Baptist.
The locals celebrate by lighting fires on the beach, setting off fireworks and, at
midnight, run into the sea to be baptised. We head to the beach to watch the
festivities, but return early - tomorrow is the day of our excursion to the Alhambra
and we have an early start.
We are rudely awakened at midnight by the sound of hundreds of fireworks.
Day Six – Tuesday 24th June – The Alhambra
Today we set off early by coach for Granada to see the Alhambra. Its great to have a
break from driving and to be able to take in more of the landscape.
The journey takes us once more towards Mini Hollywood, where the tour guide
informs us they filmed ‘A Fistful of Dollars’ – GGGGRRRRRRRRR.
From the high vantage point afforded by the coach I can see the ruins of a Mexican
style village on the other side of the motorway. As well as a location used for a
number of Spaghetti Westerns, this is where Alex Cox filmed his tribute ‘Straight to
Hell’.
The motorway turns west to take us towards Granada. The journey is little over 150
km but the diversity of landscape is striking. From the desert around Tabernas we
drive along a plain north of the snow capped mountains of the Sierra Nevada, the
highest peaks in Spain and the most southerly ski resort in Europe.
A fault line has exposed the fertile soil below and is marked by a dense covering of
trees, in stark contrast to the barren land of the plain above.
Page 8 of 11
We pass Gaudix, famous for its cave dwellings, many of which are visible from the
motorway. Standing proud in the centre of the town I can also see the impressive
tower of the cathedral, memorable from Leone’s ‘Duck You Sucker’.
Approaching Granada, another change of landscape as the road cuts through the tree
covered mountains of the Parque Natural de la Sierra de Huetor.
We arrive at Granada with an hour to spare before our allotted entrance time to the
Alhambra. We have a brief walk in the city, visiting the Capilla Real (Royal Chapel),
before the coach picks us up once more and to wind its way up out of the city centre
toward the Alhambra.
The Alhambra Palace is the greatest relic of Islamic Spain, dominating Granada from
the hilltop above. The complex is vast - a self-contained city - and the buildings are
rich in Moorish decoration. Some parts are now in ruins, but not the Palacio Nazaries.
This is the crowning glory of the Alhambra - a treasure house of Islamic
craftsmanship.
To the eastern end of the complex are the Generalife gardens, with colourful terraces
and patios, water fountains and pools.
Unfortunately, due to time constraints, we were rushed around the Alhambra in a little
over two hours. It would be easy to spend a day here, and we hope to return someday
under our own steam.
The coach takes us back to the resort along the coastal route and we arrive home early
evening.
That evening we decide to have another go at finding the El Condor fort the following
day, so I post a message to my amigos at the Spaghetti Western Web-board for some
assistance. The answers come flooding back in no time – apparently the Fort is
located right next to Western Leone. Damn! It was right under our noses all along, but
we hadn’t taken the time to look around properly. I inform Helen that we will be
going back to Western Leone tomorrow. If looks could kill!
Day Seven – Wednesday 25th June
We arrive at Western Leone mid-morning, convinced that we must be the only people
to have ever paid-in twice on the same holiday. There are a few other tourists here this
time, and we try to use this to our advantage by walking through without been
commandeered by the patrolling cowboy. It doesn’t work. ... “Hola, Amigo.”
I point to a picture of the El Condor fort and point in the direction that I now know
it’s in. He speaks in Spanish and gestures, but I know what he’s saying. The fort is
closed to the public as it is unsafe.
Undeterred, we walk through the buildings towards the perimeter fence. There is no
way through. We scout up and down but nowhere is there a gap. We can see the fort
Page 9 of 11
in the near distance over the hill. There appears to be an approach road to it from
above, leading down from the motorway service road.
We take a little more time to look around Western Leone this time and then head for
the car. The cowboy blocks our way once more to inform us that there is a show in 1
hour. “Great” we say, and when another couple distracts him, we make a break for the
car.
We head up the service road and soon come to a white iron gate with the words ‘El
Condor’. The gate is chained and padlocked with a no entry sign. It would be easy to
climb round the gate, but we decide to respect their wishes. Further up the road we
come to some tracks that lead back towards the Fort area. We contemplate
investigating further, but it’s now midday - the heat is stifling and we’re low on water.
We decide that the fort is not readily open to the public so we give up.
We decide to head for the town of Nijar for lunch. Driving passed Tabernas, we turn
off the main road. A signpost says 25 kilometres, but the road is wide and in good
condition – we should be there in no time. 10 kilometres later we start to climb the
steep hills of the Sierra Alhamilla. The road starts to wind more and more and rapidly
reduces to barely more than a single track, complete with abundant potholes. There
are times when I feel lucky that we haven’t got a puncture.
It’s slow going, but as we work our way up, the views are amazing. We stop
frequently to take photos. Again the landscape doubles for the American West.
Eventually we start our decent towards Nijar.
After lunch in Nijar we decide to head for the town of Almeria for the rest of the day.
Driving back along the motorway, the road becomes increasingly dumpy – soon the
whole car is vibrating. Strange, I think – we’ve driven this stretch of road several
times and it has always seemed in good condition. I pull over on the hard shoulder to
examine the car. Damn - we’ve finally got that puncture.
The Gods were smiling on us that day. Out of all the places we’d driven to over the
last week - through desert tracks, up steep winding mountain roads – we finally get a
blow-out on a flat stretch of motorway, just one junction from the car hire office at the
airport. Better still, the tyre that has blown is away from the road – the hard shoulders
on Spanish motorways are quite narrow. When the car is up on its jack, there are some
scary moments as the car shakes in the turbulent wake of passing lorries, but 10
minutes later we’re back in action on one of those worryingly inadequate looking
temporary tyres. We crawl back to the airport to get a replacement car.
With our sparklingly clean Toyota Yaris (how long will that last?) we head into the
town of Almeria. Entering the centre we try to make our way to the Alcazaba. The
signposts take us through a maze of one-way back streets. We seem to go round in
circles and just when we seem to be getting close, the one way system seems to divert
us away again. Due to the time lost at the car rental office, its now pushing early
evening so we head back to Roquettas de Mar.
Page 10 of 11
It’s been a mixed day - some disappointment from the things we didn’t see, but in
many ways it was nice to just drive and absorb the differing landscape. The drive to
Nijar over the hills of the Sierra Alhamilla is highly recommended.
Day Eight – Thursday 26th June
We find ourselves with a morning to kill before our trip home. We head once more to
the Cabo de Gata Peninsula, and travel down the coast road. We head through the
actual village of Cabo de Gata, and continue towards the southern most tip, Faro de
Gata. We pass a church that stands in stately solitude facing out to sea. The road ends
at a lighthouse, where we stop to look out to the Mediterranean across dramatic cliffs
- our last view of Spain before we turn the car round and head for the airport.
I am sure it will not be long before we return.
Page 11 of 11