Harsh Lessons at PS 6 : Hand-Holding is For
Sissies
At 9 am on a Monday morning the halls of PS 6 are
crowded. Teachers have their children in lines with
children standing in pairs. Glance at a kindergarten
class and you will see all the children holding hands.
Girls hold boys’ hands. Boys hold boys’ hands. In
first grade they do the same. And in second. But
look at a third grade class and you will see girls
holding hands, and boys poking each other. Asked
why the boys don’t hold hands anymore, one third
grader said: “holding hands is for sissies.” Upon
questioning, he replied, “I just know, you learn that
stuff at school.”
Word count: 106 words
Harsh Lessons at PS 6: Hand-Holding is For
Sissies
At 9 am on a Monday morning the halls of PS 6 are
crowded. Teachers have their children in lines with
children standing in pairs. Glance at a kindergarten
class and you will see all the children holding hands.
Girls hold boys’ hands. Boys hold boys’ hands. In
first grade they do the same. And in second. But
look at a third grade class and you will see girls
holding hands, and boys poking each other. Asked
why the boys don’t hold hands anymore, one third
grader said: “holding hands is for sissies.” Upon
questioning, he replied, “I just know, you learn that
stuff at school.”
Questions:
Does something change between second and third grade for
boys?
Why do girls still hold hands in third grade?
When do girls stop?
Will boys hold girls hands in third grade?
What do sixth graders think?
Leads:
Go back to that third grader and find out what he means, how
does he learn that stuff at school.
My sixth grade brother will tell me more.
Protocols for Interviewing
Be prepared – find out what you should know about your subject
before making an appointment.
Show you know something as you start the interview.
Ask open-ended questions.
Follow-up.
Respond to what you hear.
Respond in a neutral manner to keep speaker talking.
Take notes. Record if possible. If you are taking notes, and
something is a direct quote, put it in quotations so you know you
can quote it, or create your own system so you will be accurate.
Set up a way to follow-up if you have more questions.
Interview: Jack X
Tell me about third grade boys not holding hands.
It’s a sissy thing, everyone knows that.
Can you say more about that?
It just is. Like little kids hold hands. They hold their mom’s
hands, and the teachers. But you don’t when you get bigger.
Holding hands is for sissies.
You say that a lot, is that a phrase you’ve heard often?
I heard it from my brother, who is in fifth grade. He says a lot of
things are sissy. And the kids in the yard say it all the time.
It sounds like more things are considered sissy than just holding
hands, can you tell me more about that?
Sure, holding hands is sissy. Tying the laces on your trainers is
sissy. Crying is sissy. Playing with girls is sissy. Playing dolls is
sissy. Playing house is sissy. Wearing a coat is sissy. Snowpants
are sissy unless you’re skiing. Mittens are sissy. Crying to a
teacher is sissy. Going down the slide sitting up is sissy. Swings
are sissy. Saying playground instead of the yard is sissy.
It sounds like you’re saying a lot of things are sissy. That’s a lot
of stuff you’ve learned. Where do you learn it?
I don’t know, everywhere at school. I guess mostly in the yard. I
guess sometimes kids tell you. Mostly boys. And sometimes you
just, I don’t know, watch…you figure stuff out.
Interview: Jack X. Third Grader
(Show you know something already – you are prepared)
(Ask open ended questions)
Tell me about third grade boys not holding hands.
It’s a sissy thing, everyone knows that.
Can you say more about that?
It just is. Like little kids hold hands. They hold their mom’s
hands, and the teachers. But you don’t when you get bigger.
Holding hands is for sissies.
(Respond to what you hear)
You say that a lot, is that a phrase you’ve heard often?
I heard it from my brother, who is in fifth grade. He says a lot of
things are sissy. And the kids in the yard say it all the time.
(Follow-up)
It sounds like more things are considered sissy than just holding
hands, can you tell me more about that?
Sure, holding hands is sissy. Tying the laces on your trainers is
sissy. Crying is sissy. Playing with girls is sissy. Playing dolls is
sissy. Playing house is sissy. Wearing a coat is sissy. Snowpants
are sissy unless you’re skiing. Mittens are sissy. Crying to a
teacher is sissy. Going down the slide sitting up is sissy. Swings
are sissy. Saying playground instead of the yard is sissy.
(Try to keep speaker talking by staying neutral)
It sounds like you’re saying a lot of things are sissy. That’s a lot
of stuff you’ve learned. Where do you learn it?
I don’t know, everywhere at school. I guess mostly in the yard. I
guess sometimes kids tell you. Mostly boys. And sometimes you
just, I don’t know, watch…you figure stuff out.
Revision to Extend Investigative Pieces
Alternate structure rather than inverted pyramid.
(Inverted pyramid puts facts in order from most to least
important)
Leads
Lead should tell story’s relevance, usefulness, interest
 Answer: Who, what, where, when, why or how
 Answer: Who care’s factor
 Leads may be one or two sentences
Alternate leads
 A lead can be a scene that draws the reader in.
 A lead can be a provocative quote.
 A lead may have delayed identification
 A lead may be a summary of events
 A lead may highlight the theme of the piece
Techniques of Narration
 Telling of a story
 Use scenes, anecdotes, dialogue
 Build to a climax
Techniques of Narration
Vivid Scenes
 Get readers to see, smell, feel, taste, hear.
 Recapture for the reader the sights, sounds, smells
 Use all your senses
o Take notes on details
o gather more details than you would use in your notes
o Discard those that are not relevant as you write and
revise
Dialogue
 Listen carefully to dialogue when observing
 Record or jot notes
 Ask questions to get dialogue
 Quotations make the reporter the intermediary rather than
the story, so the reader feels in the story.
 Usually dialogue is between two people, neither one of
which is the reporter.
Foreshadowing
 advertising what’s coming
 teases the reader
 promises a great story
Anecdotes
 small stories embedded in larger stories
 tell one moment, incident, or event
 illustrate a point – there is a reason to include it
 gets people to respond emotionally, to empathize
 ask your source for examples
Interview 2: Jack X
Jack, last time we spoke you were telling me about some
things that were sissy. Do you remember that?
Yeah
Do you still feel that way?
Yeah
Tell me again about some of the things you think are sissy.
Not tying your laces. Wearing a coat. Holding hands with girls.
Holding hands with boys. Playing with girls. Playing with dolls.
Can you remember how you learned any of those things, can
you give me an example?
Ummm….well, once when I was playing in the yard at recess,
the fifth grade was let out at the same time. This was in first
grade. And I was playing with Sarah. Not really playing with
her, but she had this new doll she was showing Jessica. And I
wasn’t even playing with her, I was just kind of watching. But it
could talk, and I wanted to know how it worked, so I took it for a
sec… And this fifth grader who was there said to his friends
‘Look at the baby playing with dolls. What a sissy.’ And they
all laughed. I started crying. And he said. ‘Don’t you know,
boys don’t cry.’ I looked around for my teacher but she was
talking to another teacher in the corner and didn’t see. So I just
gave the doll back but the next time Sarah wanted to play I just
told her – boys don’t play with girls. Then she cried. But that’s
the way it is.
Huh. Do you remember who that kid was who called you a
sissy, I’d like to talk to him?
No.
The Sissy Syndrome at PS 6
Not to be a sissy is one of the earliest lessons boys learn at PS 6.
They learn it in the halls, in the classrooms, and especially, in the
place where they learn the most in school, in the yard.
Picture the yard during first grade recess. The sun is
shining. The tar is sticky and smells like burnt marshmellows.
The jungle gym gleams red and green. Small children play. In
the corner of the yard, a small boy plays with two girls. One of the
girls has a doll that talks. The boy reaches for the doll, curious
about how it works. He holds it in his hands and then…he hears
a harsh voice, the voice of a much older boy. “Look at the baby
playing with dolls. What a sissy!” The small boy starts to cry,
quietly. He looks for his teacher but she is nowhere. He hears the
harsh voice again. “Don’t you know, boy’s don’t cry!” Several
older boys laugh at him.
The next day. The sun is shining, the tar is sticky, the jungle
gym gleams. A small girl asks the boy to play. The yard is quiet
as the boy says, “Don’t you know, boys don’t play with girls.” The
girl cries. Recess is over.
That’s just one inside story told to this reporter. This reporter
then watched PS 6 children in the yard and in the halls. In
kindergarten boys and girls hold hands. Girls hold boys hands.
Boys hold boys hands. In first grade they hold hands. In second.
But in third grade, boys no longer hold hands. The way they
show they are together is to stand next to each other, poking each
other. Sometimes wrestling. If they get hurt, they don’t cry. If a
girl talks to them, they may ignore her.
There is more to be learned here. Burning questions
remain. What other things are considered sissy? How is PS 6 a
place that teaches boys how to be boys and not sissys? Do we
want to be this kind of place?
Word count: 342 words