A Forest of Fa
amily Trrees
Inclusive
e assignme
ents help yo
our grade-sc
chooler, as well as herr classmate
es, learn abo
out
their live
es and the world
w
aroun
nd them. by
y Nancy Ng and Lansin
ng Wood
0
1 E-Mail
6 Share
Eight-year-old Laura burst into the house
h
after sc
chool, yelling,, “I can’t do it,, I won’t do it!” The “it” wass an
assignme
ent to make a poster showing important family memb
bers, including
g photos, with
h labels descrribing
their relationships to he
er. The posters would be displayed
d
at th
he classroom
m open house.. The teacherr felt it
ake each child
d proud and highlight the diversity of herr classroom. A
Adopted at ag
ge 5, Laura still
would ma
struggled with the loss of her birthm
mother and bio
ological half-ssisters, who had been adop
pted by relativves in
another part of the cou
untry. All she could
c
think off was how imp
portant they w
were to her an
nd that she diidn’t
have phottos of them.
Perhaps the
t most drea
aded of schoo
ol assignmentts for families touched by a
adoption is the ubiquitous ffamily
tree. Stud
dents may enc
counter versio
ons of this fea
arsome task ffrom preschoo
ol through hig
gh school. The
very idea can raise que
estions of belonging, relate
edness, differrence, divided
d loyalty, conffusion, and
embarrassment—not only
o
for the ad
dopted studen
nt, but for herr birth and ado
opted siblingss and studentts in
foster fam
milies. All may
y struggle with
h fitting their various
v
relatio
ons into a stan
ndard format of genetic lineage.
Grade-sch
hoolers are ju
ust becoming aware of diffe
erences in fam
milies, and th
hey are most cconcerned ab
bout
fitting in and being like their classma
ates. Adopted
d or foster chiildren may be
e happy to incclude only the
eir
current family in family trees. But the
ey may also be
b spurred to think about ttheir birth-fam
mily members,,
making th
he assignment emotionally taxing.
When pre
esented with thought and care,
c
howeverr, family tree p
projects can b
be wonderful.. For teacherss, the
assignme
ent offers oppo
ortunities to educate
e
aboutt the meaning
g of family; to glean from th
he class theirr
ideas of what
w
constitute
es family; and
d to encompa
ass family dive
ersity in our ssociety—inclu
uding multiraccial
families, gay
g and lesbia
an parents, fo
oster families,, children raissed by grandp
parents and o
other kin, non-related ho
ouseholds, ste
ep- and blend
ded families, as
a well as ado
optive familie
es.
For adopttive families, the
t family tree
e can open up
p a healing diialogue betwe
een parents a
and child. Thrrough
her assign
nment, Laura’s parents can reconfirm th
heir empathy for her lossess and perhap
ps help her ob
btain
the photos
s and other in
nformation she needs. The
ey could also help her depiict all family m
members and help
her decide
e if she wants
s to include in
nformation ide
entifying her a
as adopted in a project to b
be displayed in the
classroom
m.
With child
dren’s develop
pmental need
ds in mind, tea
achers can crreate inclusive
e assignmentts. You can help
by conferrring with the teacher
t
early on about fam
mily-related prrojects or currriculum. Then
n, casually offfer
your child information about
a
her fam
mily members and history. Y
You can also
o suggest various family-tre
ee
templates
s to your teach
her, if needed
d [see “Tree Finder”].
F
Use the following information to
o guide you.
Young ele
ementary stud
dents like a re
ealistic-looking family tree, including a sstrong trunk (sself) with bran
nches
and, poss
sibly, roots rep
presenting cu
ultures, ances
stors, and eve
en birth-familyy members. T
The Family Pe
eony
Bush desc
cribed by Che
erri Register in “Are Those
e Kids Yours?
?” is a beautifu
ul way to depict family dive
ersity.
Teachers may utilize such family tre
ees as an intro
oduction to h istory, to help
p students org
ganize their o
own
stories forr writing proje
ects, or to beg
gin teaching about
a
society.
At age 6 most children view adoption as a sunny event. Their trees reflect one big happy family, perhaps
including birth, foster, and adoptive parents and siblings. Parents and teachers should honor such
perceptions and not correct for factual reality. One kind of assignment might be to draw all of the people
who live with you, and then all the other family members you know of. Follow your child’s lead in helping
her organize this depiction and, if her artwork is posted in the classroom, be ready to answer such
questions as: “How come you have five sisters and two brothers in your picture? Don’t you have only one
baby sister?”
At age 7 kids can be easily embarrassed. They like to fit in and dread being put on the spot. Because
they’re aware that adoption is not a universal experience, they sometimes do best with a simple response
to the family tree assignment, such as using only the adoptive-family configuration on the tree or artwork,
coupled with a private, in-depth discussion in the safety of home.
At age 8 many girls and some boys have a dawning realization of the loss inherent in adoption. They are
starting to make connections between past, present, and future, and are intrigued by their own histories.
Many like the concrete assignment of a realistic-looking family tree, which captures this information. Yet,
because they are not yet able to distinguish between family and public information, kids this age often
need help with assignments that involve personal relationships. Prepare for such assignments by
clarifying your child’s adoption information and discussing answers to intrusive questions. Let your child
know she can decide what answers to give or not give.
The family tree can be an excellent opportunity for adoptive families to demystify and normalize their
family experience. Parents should not hesitate to approach teachers with relevant information about their
family. When you offer your teacher simple, age-related information and suggestions, you smooth the
way for your child and, indeed, all students. Teachers who are aware of the sensitivities of adoption-built
families can make the family-tree experience truly educational for all.
Lansing Wood and Nancy Ng are board members of FAIR (Families Adopting in Response,
www.fairfamilies.org).
Tree Finder
Here’s where to look for specific examples of inclusive family trees:
•
•
•
•
Adoption and the Schools, by Nancy Ng and Lansing Wood, a guide to help parents and
teachers anticipate problematic assignments, communicate effectively, and support learning.
Read our review at www.adoptivefamilies.com/books.php.
Adoptive Families Together, site of a Massachusetts-based support organization that offers
family treestyle templates in downloadable PDF format (go to AFT's site and scroll down to
"Alternatives to the Traditional Family Tree Assignments").
Are Those Kids Yours? by Cheri Register (Free Press, 1990), covers a range of internationaladoption family issues, and includes the Family Peony Bush.
Lucy’s Family Tree, by Karen Halvorsen Schreck (Harpswell Press, 2003). Read our review
and/or purchase at www.adoptivefamilies.com/books.php.