THE ROLE OF THE POST
ADOPTION CONTACT
AGREEMENT
IN OPEN ADOPTIONS
Dawn Smith-Pliner, Founding Director
Friends In Adoption
Nina Rumbold, Esq.
Rumbold & Seidelman, L.L.P.
Nan Pasquarello,
Friends In Adoption
Senior Case Manager
THE GOALS OF OPEN ADOPTION
To minimize the child’s loss of relationships
 To maintain and celebrate the adopted child’s
connections/relationships with all the important
people in his or her life
 To allow the child to resolve losses with truth,
rather than the fantasy adopted children often
create when no information or contact with their
birth family is available

PACAS AND OPEN ADOPTION
Set clear boundaries
 Remove uncertainties
about timing of contact
 Create positive
relationships and
strengthen the underlying
TRUST inherent in every
adoption
 PACAs are enforceable in
some states and not in
others

THE OTHERWISE ACCIDENTAL
RELATIONSHIP
Were it not for an adoption plan birth and
adoptive families would not be connected
 The relationship is often established during crisis
and emotional vulnerability
 The voice of the infant cannot be heard, which
puts the responsibility on all the adults to think
about long term benefits for the child
 The voice of the child needs to be written into the
PACA with flexibility
 A PACA is not a checklist, not win-lose, but
rather a template for a lifelong relationship

RESPECT, CARE, FLEXIBILITY . . .
WRITE THE PACA WITH CHILD’S
INTERESTS AT HEART
The needs of a child at age 2 will differ
drastically from the needs of a child at ages 10,
15 and 18.
 Think about who in the biological family is apt to
be the “emotional holder” of the adoption in the
event that the birthmother or birthfather are
non-participatory. Birth grandparents often fill
this void (*only signatories can enforce
agreements).

PACA – STATIC AND DYNAMIC
View the PACA as baseline template recognizing
that if all parties agree, it may be expanded or
extended, but not retracted.
 As you create the PACA terms, remember that
the baby will be a teenager in a few short years –
and design it with flexibility so that the growing
child can participate at different stages.
 Trust will keep the PACA relationship healthy.
 Know when you need help in navigating the
PACA and reach out to trusted professionals.
 Once approved by the court, a PACA may not be
amended without court approval.

SET A LOVING TONE FROM THE START
A CHILD’S VIEW IS SHAPED BY AP-BP
INTEGRATION
How the adoptive family integrates the birth
family into lives will have a direct impact on how
the child views her/his biological family.
 And, how the biological family integrates the
adoptive family into their lives will have a direct
impact on the adoptive family. This includes
siblings - both biological and adoptive.
 The “hard” stories are equally important as the
less challenging ones to tell at the appropriate
age and often with professional support. Build a
safety net around your family.
 Child as an adult will choose who s/he considers
family.

PACA LANGUAGE IS IMPORTANT

Not understanding language can create chaos
Open adoption means?
 Come to agreement on language for consistency at
visits (i.e.. siblings/ birth siblings, grandparents/
birth grandparents, first names/ nicknames)

The more defined and understood the language is
the more likely it is for the child to benefit from
healthy relationships
 A PACA is not a checklist; it is a relationship to
embrace – a complementary part of a child’s life

CONNECTIONS EVOLVE
POTENTIAL CHALLENGES
Significant socio-economic spread between birth
and adoptive families
 Substance use/abuse
 Mental health issues / serious health issues
 Significant differences in educational
backgrounds
 Safety concerns in cases of violent birth parent
 Contentious relationship between birthmother
and birthfather
 Divorce/separation within adoptive or birth
family

POTENTIAL CHALLENGES (CONT.)
Prison record
 Geographic distance between birth and adoptive
families
 Differences in lifestyle choices
 Significant age differences in birth and adoptive
families
 Sibling relationships if both BF and AF are
parenting
 Inappropriate use of social media (be mindful of
posts… the child inherits the digital map or
history before they have a voice)

TRUTH AND PEACE OF MIND
CONCLUSION
A trained team of professionals assists adoptive
and birth families navigate a PACA that will best
serve the interests of the child until his/her age of
majority.
 If all of the adults are committed to always
serving the child’s best interests, the child will
have the greatest opportunity to grow up to be an
adult who appreciates all his/her connections to
family.

Q&A
We are all connected . . .
RESOURCES


Hospitious Adoption – Jim Gritter
Listening Poem:
http://www.health.qld.gov.au/mhcarer/docs/articlelisten.pdf




Continuing the Evolution: Why California Should
Amend Family Code Section 8616.5 to Allow
Visitation in All Postadoption Contact Agreements
(PDF) – Kirsten Widner
The Family of Adoption – Joyce Pavao
The Open Hearted Way to Open Adoption – Lori
Holden
Child Welfare Information Gateway - PACA Policies:
https://www.childwelfare.gov/systemwide/laws_policies/statutes/c
ooperative.cfm
RESOURCES (CONTINUED)
Nina article
 Gentle Transitions: A Newborn Baby’s Point of
View About Adoption (also available on DVD):
http://www.pactadopt.org/app/servlet/documenta
pp.DisplayDocument?DocID=68
 In On It: What Adoptive Parents Would Like You
To Know About Adoption – Elisabeth O’Toole
 Twenty Things Adopted Kids Wish Their
Adoptive Parents Knew – Sherrie Eldridge

COMPASSIONATE ADOPTION
For more information, visit
www.friendsinadoption.org
or contact FIA at 800-982-3678
or
www.adoptionlawny.com
or contact Rumbold & Seidelman at
914-779-1050