S P O FFORD | Changing Children’s Lives, Giving Families Hope
April Child Abuse Prevention
A Journey for CHANGE
A
t Spofford we know each child’s
journey to find hope begins with
one step. For the past 98 years, our
community has joined in helping more
than 20,000 children move step by step
toward overcoming trauma stemmed
from abuse and neglect.
One leg of this important journey
occurs each April as part of our Child
Abuse Prevention campaign—30 Days/
30 Ways. Together with a number of
local businesses, restaurants, churches
and schools we make strides to raise
awareness and funds for our programs
that help create positive change for
children and give them the safety they
deserve.
There are many ways to take a step
in helping our April efforts:
• Host a dinner party and have
friends bring money to donate to
Spofford.
• Get your kids involved! Set up a
lemonade stand or get a group
together for a car wash.
• Bring your family and friends to
one or more of our community
events!
full calendar of events on page
7
30 30
DAYS
WAYS
For more information and ideas, please call
Amanda Hallier at 816.508.3498.
Follow our Social Media too!
/spoffordhome
@spoffordhome
SEE ALSO Page 6 - Statistics about child
abuse in Kansas and Missouri, as well as
information on knowing the signs of abuse
and numbers to make a call that could save
a child’s life.
Sp r i n g 2 0 1 4
BEST BUDS
A BOY AND HIS MENTOR
“I’m sad today because my mom
is giving me up for adoption.”
This powerful statement shared with a horse during a HorsePower session led
mentor C.J. Craig to Spofford and into Toby’s life.
C.J. has long had a heart for children in “the system.” At a young age, he
himself was adopted and given the special opportunity to grow up in a loving,
nurturing home. As an adult, he has taken an
active interest in paying it forward to agencies
supporting foster youth by joining the ranks
as a volunteer at CASA, HorsePower, and now
Spofford.
In his five years as a volunteer with HorsePower, C.J. has been paired with several Spofford
children who each touched his heart. But last fall,
Toby’s one statement catapulted him into taking
further action.
“Although I didn’t work with him directly,
it was hard not to notice him. Toby’s a cute
kid with a lot of personality,” reflects C.J. “My
colleague shared what he had said to his horse,
and right then, I knew I had to get involved.”
C.J. and Toby enjoy quality time
Toby’s story is one of instability and sadness.
building a new Lego set.
At a very young age, his mother came and went
shuffling him back and forth with his grandmother who was unable to properly
care for him. In one of his mother’s returns, Toby was abused by her partner. At
five, he was finally removed from the home and adopted. Now, at the age of nine,
while still struggling with the trauma of his past, Toby’s adoptive mother has
voluntarily terminated her rights. Today, Toby suffers from intense feelings of
rejection and a longing to find a forever family.
It was a no-brainer for the Spofford Team to assign C.J. as Toby’s mentor. At
Spofford, finding a mentor for a child who has little to no family support is a
number one priority. Mentoring is essential in the therapeutic process—helping
children develop trust in adults, as well as further providing positive and healthy
concepts of what relationships should be.
continued on Page 5
A Wing & A Prayer................................................2
Volunteer Photo Gallery........................................4
Child Abuse Statistics............................................6
30 Days/30 Ways Event Calendar.........................7
Spofford’s Mission
Spofford provides premier preventative
and therapeutic services by connecting
child, family, and community to achieve
their potential.
A Wing & A Prayer
Board of Directors
2013-2014
Latasha Wilson, Chairman
Scott Thompson, Vice Chairman
Joe Pribula, Treasurer
Andrew Muller, Secretary
Marcia Charney, David Douglass, Brenda
Gfeller, Amy Henson, Michael Leikam, Beth
Manley, Laurie Monsees, Doug Nickerson,
Ivan Nugent, Dale Owens, Heather Pineda,
Dr. Doug Rivard, Shawn Thomas, Sue Klotz
(ex-officio)
Spofford Foundation
Board of Directors
2013-2014­­­
Johnny Orindgreff, Chairman
Ames Stetzler, Vice Chairman
Phil Frerker, Secretary/Treasurer
Duane Albert, Marcia Charney, Della Harris,
Tracy Lind, Lori Mallory
Spofford Staff
Allen Unklesbay, President & CEO
Michelle Pendzimas, VP-Clinical Services
Michelle Biondo, VP-Community Relations
& Development
Deb Johnson, Donor Services Manager
Crystal Bahr, Community Relations Manager
Amanda Hallier, Special Events
& Development Manager
MEMBER
Taking Flight is published three times a year and is free
to all contributors, volunteers and friends of Spofford.
Spofford holds contracts with the states of Missouri
and Kansas for services rendered. Spofford is an Equal
Opportunity Employer.
© 2014, Spofford.
9700 Grandview Road
P.O. Box 9888
Kansas City, MO 64134
Phone - (816) 508-3400
Toll-Free - 1 (877) 806-3400
Fax - (816) 508-3425
www.spoffordhome.org
www.facebook.com/spoffordhome
www.twitter.com/spoffordhome
PAGE 2
HOPE SPRINGS ETERNAL
This season always reminds me that Spofford is
a place for new beginnings – a place of hope for
children, a source of encouragement for families
and an advocate for a better community.
I recently received word from a child that, for
me, is a powerful illustration of our ability to make
a difference in the lives of the children and families
Allen Unklesbay
President & CEO
we serve. I first met this young man when he was
six years old. Now an 8th grader, he has written an
essay nominating one of our staff for the Annual Kindest Kansas
Citian Contest and wanted to share this with the staff.
The essay describes his experiences as a SCAMPS day camper.
Having been thrown out of three different schools before first grade,
he knew that he had only a few chances left to be able to stay in
camp. When he became angry and upset and would scream, staff
would take him to a director who had an uncanny ability to redirect
and calm children down. The boy describes in his essay how the
director would talk to him about what happened and what he could
do different next time. Together, they set goals with a rewards system
that worked – the boy spent five summers at SCAMPS.
In his words, “If it were not for him, I would not be the way I am today. He
and all of the staff at Spofford showed me mercy and gave me a second chance,
even when I didn’t always deserve it.”
I am reminded that often our efforts to make a difference in a
child’s life are not immediately apparent. Seasons and years go by. A
boy grows to become a young man willing to reach out and recognize
a staff who is now retired after many years of service to Spofford.
Each day, we have the opportunity to change children’s lives. This
season is no different. At Spofford, we believe that being present to
address a child’s emotional and physical need is the most important
mission you can have.
I hope you will pause a moment during this busy season and consider new ways that you might help us to reduce child abuse, repair
essential family relationships and contribute to the continued growth
and development of a child- such as our 30 Days/30 Ways campaign.
Together we are changing children’s lives and giving families hope.
GIFTS TO SPOFFORD
MEMORIALS
Below are the memorial, honor, corporate and foundation donors from November 1,
2013 to February 28, 2014. Please note: We will no longer be listing all donors in the
newsletter. We will publish an annual donor supplement this summer.
*person remembered/honored in bold
Hattie Ora Arnold
Mr. & Mrs. Richard Arnold
Donna Banaka
Mr. Roland Banaka
Kenneth D. Bowen
Mrs. Kenneth E. Bowen
Rhonda S. Bowen
Mrs. Kenneth E. Bowen
Doris June Burnett
Ms. Margaret Grimes
Mr. & Mrs. Cecil R. Miller
Ms. Karen S. Mitchell
Mr. & Mrs. John Renken
Mr. & Mrs. Tom Riddle
Mr. & Mrs. Ray G. Roberts
Spofford Auxiliary
Shrum & Thelma Burton
Ms. Willa Lea Fancher
Mary & Charles Cannon
Dr. Donald C. Cannon
Carl Cooper
Mrs. Carl Cooper
Shirley Clorinne Curry Cupp
Mr. & Mrs. Wallace Glasco
Mr. & Mrs. Robert A. Johns
The Kansas City Star News Room
Mr. & Mrs. John Renken
Spofford Auxiliary
Mr. & Mrs. S. L. Diggs
Mr. & Mrs. Lyle Otto
Thomas Connell Fahey
Mr. & Mrs. Joseph T. Fahey
Helen Marieta Teegarden
Firestone
Mr. & Mrs. Robert T. Firestone
Ms. Terry J. Moore
Gary David Fletcher
LaVaun Fletcher
Leon Dale Flecher, Sr.
LaVaun Fletcher
Martha Gicento
Mrs. Sammy Wilson
Dorothea Ozar Jagoda
Mrs. Lewis Bratt
Jagoda Family Foundation
Charles Richard Long
Miss Edith M. Long
Lois D. Long
Miss Edith M. Long
Robert Fritz Long
Miss Edith M. Long
Robert W. Long
Miss Edith M. Long
Mary Lunczewski
Mr. & Mrs. Charles Canfield
James F. Meyer
Mrs. James F. Meyer
Freeman Miller
Mr. & Mrs. Burney Miller
Dr. Henry “Ray” Morrison
Ms. Doris Johnson
Robert T. Noland
Mrs. Sammy Wilson
Eileen F. O’Neill
Ms. Elizabeth O’Neill
Mr. & Mrs. Carl Otto
Mr. & Mrs. Lyle Otto
James Perry
Mrs. James F. Meyer
Don L. Roberts
Mrs. Don L. Roberts
Mildred Russell
Ms. Glennis Martin
David Allen Scheible
Mrs. Roy Scheible
Mr. & Mrs. Doug Newham
Roy William Scheible
Mrs. Roy Scheible
Paul & Pauline Schmidt
Mr. & Mrs. Keith Craig
Jeanetta Marie Long Shaw
Miss Edith M. Long
Emily Norbury Siegel
Mrs. Emily Sue Norbury
Lammers
Mr. David D. Norbury
Mr. Frederick L. Norbury
Mr. John B. Norbury
Harry Watkins
Mrs. Sammy Wilson
Millie Willock
Mr. William N. Brownfield
Mrs. Philip Needles
Elsie Mae Wyman
Mr. & Mrs. J. R. Wyatt
HONORS
Pat & Tom Beard
Mr. & Mrs. Jay Hunt
Blue Ridge Boulevard UMW
Mr. & Mrs. Jesse E. Brown
Cathy Boyd
Ms. Kathy Krug
Jody Bryan
Mr. Corey B. Graham
Sandy Buntin
Ms. Kathy Krug
Doris Collins-Moore
Mr. & Mrs. Dana William Collins
Mr. & Mrs. Michael D. Faler
Rev. Terry Cook
Miss Beth Simnitt
David Firestone
Miss Anne Scahill
Lanette & Ed Gentry
Mr. & Mrs. Jay Hunt
Brenda Gfeller
Mr. & Mrs. John H. Curry
Susan Hammel
Heartland Elementary School
Staff
Jason & Anne Jordan
Mr. & Mrs. Jay Hunt
Helen & Tom Koch
Mr. Mike Dean
Dr. James A. Maliszewski
Mr. & Mrs. Marvin E. Nance, Jr.
Rhonda Meyer
Mrs. James F. Meyer
Kira Montuori
Spofford Auxiliary
Dwight & Charlotte Robinson
Mr. & Mrs. Keith Craig
Mildred Russell
Mr. & Mrs. Rick Stewart
Edna Scahill
Miss Anne Scahill
Alma Sloan
Mr. & Mrs. Samuel A. Sloan, Jr.
Mrs. Mary L. Stewart
Mr. & Mrs. John E. Schofield
Elaine Swope
Ms. Jacqueline Swope
Dr. & Mrs. John Yeast
Mr. & Mrs. John E. Schofield
CORPORATIONS
Black & Veatch Corporation ESCAPE Committee
Cargill
Cerner Corporation
Christmas in the Park
Computer Science Corp.
Eden Alley Vegetarian Café
First Mortgage Solutions
First National Bank
Gunter Pest Management, Inc.
Henderson Engineers, Inc.
Honeywell
Humana
KCP&L
Kelly-Hill Company, Inc.
KPMG LLP
Medix Staffing Solutions
QuikTrip Corporation
Sprint
UMB Bank, N.A.
Willis of Greater Kansas, Inc.
FOUNDATIONS
Taylor S. & Patti Abernathy Trust
American Century Investments Fdn.
Anonymous Donor
Geraldine & R. A. Barrows Fdn.
Townley Culbertson and
Nancy Culbertson Memorial Fund
The Grainger Foundation
Health Care Foundation of
Greater Kansas City
Ray & Mary Klapmeyer
Charitable Foundation
Morgan Family Foundation
Daniel G. and Wanda K. O’Dell
Family Foundation
Thomas S. Watson Family Fdn.
Ira K. Witschner Trust
Henry E. Wurst Family Foundation
A Heartfelt Legacy: The Firestones
T
wo hearts joined in love and mission—that is the story of Helen and David Firestone.
With more than 20 years of service to Spofford’s mission, they are a true testament to
the heart and dedication of Spofford’s supporters.
Their involvement began when Helen joined the Spofford Auxiliary—a commitment
she kept until her death in July 2013. Both Helen and David also helped coordinate the
Have a Heart for Spofford Day. For several years, the two of them were in charge of the
dining room, helping make coffee, setting tables and cleaning up afterwards.
Despite Helen’s passing, David has continued to stay involved. When Christmas in
the Park rolls around, he always shows up with his pot of chili and braves the cold to
help collect money. He has helped make this a Spofford holiday tradition for more than
14 years!
“We have loved the work Spofford does for many years. Taking these
children and trying to turn them around, unite these families. When
you appreciate the work someone does, you want to help move it
along.” ~ David Firestone
Helen Firestone’s legacy truly lives on, in David and in the many others she helped
inspire along the way. Prior to her death, she became a member of the Spofford Legacy
Society by writing Spofford into her will. Helen will be missed. Spofford is honored to
be a recipient of her love and support.
Helen and David together at one of the
Have a Heart for Spofford events.
Learn more about becoming a
member of our Legacy Society!
Contact Deb Johnson at 816.508.3410.
PAGE 3
Volunteer Photo Gallery
2
1
5
4
3
6
1
For the 10th year in a row, the Cargill Santa and his elves spread holiday cheer to
Spofford and the children.
2
Duane and Deanna Albert a.k.a. Santa and Mrs. Claus and their helpers prepare
for a holly, jolly evening with the children complete with special gifts from Santa.
3
Gal pals from WIllis of Greater Kansas Inc. host a Girls Only party with crafts,
manicures and fun goody bags.
4
Friends from The Church of Nazarene in Olathe inspire our children’s imagination
by making paper puppets and other fun crafts.
5
“Ready, Set, GO!” Mission Church gets the children ready to give their all during
a fun activity of balloon relays.
6
The girls in Sandstone show off their mask masterpieces from one of their workshops
with HALO The Learning Center.
Thank You to Our Partners!
PAGE 4
A BOY AND HIS MENTOR
continued from page
1
“We immediately hit it off,” says C.J. with a smile. “Toby has an amazing
sense of humor. I remember when I introduced myself and said his name,
that he corrected me with, ‘I prefer to be called Mister.’ For the longest time
that is what I called him. We’re, of course, on a first name basis now.”
Toby and C.J. have many shared interests including playing board games
and chess, being outdoors, and in C.J.’s words, “doing guy stuff.” They also
spend a lot of time just talking. C.J. realizes the importance of being someone Toby can share his thoughts and feelings without judgment, but instead,
with guidance and support.
“Toby loves Mr. C.J.,” says Toby’s therapist, Nicholas Bracken. “Kids in
Toby’s situation often have difficulty building positive relationships because
they simply haven’t had them before. C.J. helps break down this wall for
Toby. You can tell he is invested in Toby’s overall success and believes in
him.”
C.J. feels strongly about his mentorship with Toby and the impact he can
make. He reflects fondly on how his adoptive mother made an impact in his
life and looks forward to seeing the day Toby finds his own forever family.
“To me being a mentor is about being a constant for the child,” says
C.J. “Be there for him. Let him be a kid. One moment from early on in our
friendship stands out in my mind, and I don’t even know what prompted it.
I remember the important part. Toby saying, in his happiest voice,
‘Because we’re buds!’ and he reached out for a fist bump. Then and now,
he’s right. We are.”
CALLING MALE MENTORS!
S
pofford is blessed with a very active
volunteer program, but surprisingly, we
do not have as many male mentors as our
children need.
Because we serve a diverse population of
children, we are in need of a diverse set of
male mentors of different ages, races,
professions and interests.
Qualifications to be a Spofford Mentor:
• Must be 21 or older
• Highly dependable
• Able to commit to at least a 1-hour visit
each week
• Couples welcome!
Although this is a call for male mentors,
we would also accept female mentors who
meet the criteria on an as needed basis.
For more information, please contact
Crystal Bahr at 816.508.3408.
Sanctuary Corner
Moving Forward and Overcoming LOSS
“Residential care is rooted in loss (D. McKorkle).” Children are separated from their families, their schools, and
their neighborhoods – a complete loss of “normalcy.”
I
n light of April and Child Abuse Prevention Month, we must recognize that most of our residents have suffered abuse,
resulting in a loss of dignity, loss of innocence, and loss of self.
As humans, we have all experienced our own losses in our life and each one of us acknowledges and manages loss in very
different ways. The Sanctuary Model reminds us that unresolved loss leads to trauma reenactments within our personal
relationships with coworkers, friends and family. And at Spofford, between our staff and children as well.
This reenactment triangle places us in the roles of victim, persecutor, and rescuer and can keep us stuck in loss; unable to
move forward to a healthy future. Sanctuary helps us identify our personal role in this triangle
to help aid us in pulling ourselves out of loss and trauma.
How to Identify Your Role during Uncomfortable Interactions
• Victim – You feel hurt and betrayed as if something is being done to you. You feel
you aren’t heard or understood.
• Persecutor – You blame another person for what happened. You feel they are mean
and they meant to hurt you. Someone is a victim of this person.
• Rescuer – You want or need to help the person identified as the victim. They
can’t do it alone. You feel good for helping.
After identifying the role you are in, keeping in mind that you can
rotate in and out of all three roles in one interaction, you make a choice
to do something different. View those important to you and yourself as
survivors. Survivors overcome and seek solutions. Support rather than
rescue and guide rather than persecute. This changes the interaction and moves you and others toward the future. A future
that feels safe, solution-focused and full of opportunity.
PAGE 5
A Look at Child Abuse in Kansas & Missouri
2012 Substantiated Reports of Abuse & Neglect
1,843
Types of Abuse
Neglect is the most
4,370
Neglect
41.6%
Physical
abuse
32.2%
common type of abuse,
followed by physical
abuse in the Kansas
City Metro area.
836
in the Kansas City Metro
Abuse & Neglect by Age
Children under
the age of 4
A child is
abused or neglected
are most likely to be
victims of abuse in
Kansas and Missouri.
every 2 hours
in Missouri.
SOURCES
www.dss.mo.gov/re/pdf/can/2012-missouri-child-abuse-neglect-annual-report.pdf
ag.ks.gov/docs/default-source/documents/2013-(fy)-ane-annual-report.pdf?sfvrsn=4
www.childrensdefense.org/child-research-data-publications/data/state-data-repository/cits/2011/children-in-the-states-2011-missouri.pdf
www.safehorizon.org/index/what-we-do-2/child-abuse--incest-55/10-signs-of-child-abuse--neglect-305.html
www.childhelp.org/pages/what-is-child-abuse
A child might be facing abuse or neglect at home
even without broken bones and bruises.
DEFINITIONS
ABUSE - any act of commission or omission that endangers or impairs a child’s physical or emotional health and overall
development. Child abuse includes physical, sexual, and emotional abuse, as well as neglect.
NEGLECT - failure to provide for a child’s physical needs, including lack of supervision, inappropriate housing,
inadequate provision of food and water, inappropriate clothing for season or weather, abandonment, denial of medical care
and inadequate hygiene.
KNOW THE SIGNS
• Changes in behavior: Children might appear
withdrawn, scared, or anxious.
• Regression: Children might adopt habits they
have grown out of, such as sucking their thumbs
or wetting the bed.
• Fear of returning home
• Risk-taking behaviors: Children might start
carrying weapons or using drugs or alcohol.
• Changes in eating: Children might suddenly gain
or lose weight.
• Poor hygiene and appearance: Children might
appear unwashed and disheveled.
You can make the call that could save a child’s life!
If you suspect a child is in immediate danger, 911 is your best option.
Missouri hotline - 1-800-392-3738
PAGE 6
Kansas hotline - 1-800-922-5330
PAGE 7
Cut here and post at home or work!
DAYS
WAYS
30 30
Join us this April for Child Abuse Prevention
30 Days/ 30 Ways to help keep kids SAFE!
Non-Profit Org.
U.S. Postage
PAID
Kansas City, MO
Permit # 4393
9700 GRANDVIEW ROAD
PO BOX 9888, KANSAS CITY, MO 64134
RETURN SERVICE REQUESTED
Butterfly
Wishes
HYGIENE
• African-American hair products
• Bar soap (Dove or Ivory brands)
• Boys and girls underwear (boy’s boxer briefs)
• Ankle socks
FUN IN THE SUN
• One piece bathing suits
• Sunscreen or bug repellent
• Flip-flops
• Beach towels
BACK TO SCHOOL
• New or gently used school uniforms
• Backpacks
• #2 pencils and black pens
• Paper folders with 3-ring holder and pockets
• Composition books (these have no spiral)
• “Washable” crayons & markers
• Playdough
SEASONAL ACTIVITY WISH LIST
• Movie passes
• Concert and show tickets (Starlight)
• Sponsor a pizza party or BBQ!
Come join us for the 2nd Annual Spofford
TRIVIA NIGHT
Presents
SIZZLIN’
SUMMER
Let’s have a
st !
Trivia Bla
y, It’s
With special host,
Jen!”
- Save the Date -
THURSDAY, JUNE 26, 2013
@ The Foundation in the West Bottoms
6-7 pm Social Hour & Registration 7-9 pm Game Time!
For more information or to register a team, contact Crystal Bahr at 816.508.3408.