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Control Dramas are how we compete for energy with other people.
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Control Dramas are our sub-conscious way of gaining power from and over other people.
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How we control the energy that flows between people is a sub-conscious drama that is learned from an early age.
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Control Dramas are either passive or active and either introvert or extrovert.
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Introverts who passively control energy are ‘Aloof’.
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Extroverts who passively control energy are ‘Interrogators’.
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Introverts who actively control energy are ‘Poor Me’s’.
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Extroverts who actively control energy are ‘Intimidators’.
Interrogator will attract an Aloof and an Intimidator will attract a Poor Me.
1. Change your own pattern. Stop your control drama. Notice when you do them, forgive yourself, and move on. Personally, I
simply end the conversation. 2. Name the dramas when others do them, and don’t respond in the pattern. If someone is being an Interrogator (or whichever),
don’t fill the Aloof (or whichever) role. If you don’t do what is expected, the game will fizz out. Find more positive ways to respond.
You can’t stop others from doing their control dramas, but you don’t have to follow their dance either.
We can't really stay connected with this source until we come to grips with the particular method that, we, as individuals, use in our
controlling, and stop doing it-- because whenever we fall back into this habit, we get disconnected from the source.
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Interrogator - People who use this means of gaining energy set up a drama of asking questions and probing into another
person's world with the specific purpose of finding something wrong. Once they do, then they criticize this aspect of the
other's life. If this strategy succeeds then the person being criticized is pulled into the drama. They suddenly find
themselves becoming self-conscious around the interrogator and paying attention to what the interrogator is doing and
thinking about, so as to not do something wrong that the interrogator would notice. The psychic deference gives the
interrogator the energy he desires.
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A critical man, my ex continually poked and prodded and found fault in everything I said or did. Sometimes I
wondered what kind of perverse pleasure he got out of finding me so inadequate. Nothing was ever good
enough for him. He could question me at length about anything, even something as simple as grocery
shopping: “How could it take you so long to shop for food? How much did you spend this week? How could you
be so extravagant? Were all those purchases really necessary? Did we need two kinds of lettuce AND
tomatoes? etc. I once bought a deli sandwich to split with my son. Seeing the sandwich on the receipt, my ex
blew a gasket: “How dare you waste my money on a store-bought sandwich? You could have made one when
you got home!” (This man earned a handsome salary; $3.00 was definitely not a hardship.) I often felt like I was
on trial. It was so infuriating; I couldn’t win. During each interrogation I would ask myself: “Why do you bother
trying to talk to him?; you know what the end result is going to be.” Eventually I quit trying. It was then that my
control drama became clear. In case I need to name it for anyone, I am aloof.
Aloof - Your way of controlling people and situations... in order to get energy coming your way, is to create this drama in
your mind during which you withdraw and look mysterious and secretive. You tell yourself that you're being cautious but
what you're really doing is hoping someone will be pulled into this drama and will try to figure out what's going on with you.
When someone does, you remain vague, forcing them to struggle and dig and try to discern your true feelings.
Intimidator - For instance, if someone threatens you, either verbally or physically, then you are forced, for fear of
something bad happening to you, to pay attention to him and so to give him energy. The person threatening you would be
pulling you into the most aggressive kind of drama
Poor Me - someone tells you all the horrible things that are already happening to them, implying perhaps that you are
responsible, and that, if you refuse to help, these horrible things are going to continue, then this person is seeking to
control at the most passive level
The White Light of Truth Surrounds me
There will be no hard come to me
There will be no change befall me
For I am a Child of God
Nathan Norris
nnorris@numinouszoe.org
http://www.meetup.com/numinouszoe
http://www.meetup.com/a-m-o-r-c